Episode 86: The Four Agreements-Wellness Tools for Growth

Episode 86 - The Four Agreements in Action: Wellness Tools for Growth

In this episode, we explore the transformative wisdom of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, breaking down each agreement and linking them to practical wellness tools for personal growth. Discover how Be Impeccable with Your Word is about more than just speaking kindly to others—it’s about nurturing self-trust and integrity by honoring the promises you make to yourself. Learn how Don’t Take Anything Personally can free you from emotional burdens that don’t belong to you, and protect your mental and emotional peace. We also discuss how Don’t Make Assumptions helps foster clarity and communication, and how Always Do Your Best encourages a life of progress over perfection, while offering grace and self-compassion.

This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you apply these principles to your daily life, whether in relationships, parenting, or personal well-being. Plus, I share some reflective questions to help you deepen your practice of The Four Agreements and integrate them into your journey toward emotional freedom and wellness.

If you’ve ever felt weighed down by others’ expectations, or struggled to let go of self-doubt, this episode will offer you tools to live more peacefully and authentically. Join me as we dive into the powerful, practical wisdom of The Four Agreements.

One last thing to cover the show legally. I am a certified life coach giving general advice. So think of this more like a self-help book. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. So this podcast shouldn't be taken as a replacement for professional guidance from my doctor therapist. Or any other qualified expert? If you want personal one-on-one coaching for my certified coach. Go to my website, wellness and every season.com. 

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Transcript

The Four Agreements in Action: Wellness Tools for Growth

Intro: 

This is Episode 86

Welcome to Wellness in Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of wellness in all its forms. I'm your host, Autumn Carter, a certified life coach turned wellness coach as well as a certified parenting coach dedicated to empowering others to rediscover their identity in their current season of life.

My goal is to help you thrive both as an individual and as a parent.

[Music]

EPISODE INTRO

Welcome, everyone, to Episode 86 of Wellness in Every Season. Today's episode is titled "The Four Agreements in Action: Wellness Tools for Growth.” I’m really excited about today’s episode because it stems from a personal recommendation that sparked a deeper journey for me. A little while ago, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jessica Dahlquist—some of you might remember the episode—and during our conversation, she recommended a book that I hadn’t yet read: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you’re curious, you can go back and listen to that episode—it’s number 34—to hear how she spoke about it with so much passion and clarity.

After that interview, I knew I had to dive into the book myself. And when I did, I realized how much these simple yet profound agreements could reshape the way I approach wellness, relationships, and my inner world. I found myself wanting to go deeper, not just for my own growth but to make these principles more applicable to others—whether you’re looking to improve your well-being, deepen your relationships, or simply find more balance in life.

In this episode, I’m going to walk you through these four agreements and share how I’ve begun applying them in my life. But more importantly, I’ll talk about how you, too, can use these teachings to foster wellness in every aspect of your life—from your mental and emotional health to how you connect with others. So, if you’re ready to explore the connection between these timeless teachings and your own well-being, let’s dive in.

Key point #1: 

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word  

This agreement is about speaking truthfully and with integrity, not only to others but to yourself. The words you choose—whether in your thoughts or aloud—shape your mindset and emotional well-being. By speaking kindly and mindfully, you nurture a positive internal environment, creating space for growth and self-compassion.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally  

People's actions and words are often reflections of their own experiences, not a judgment of you. By not internalizing others' behavior, you protect your emotional well-being. This agreement frees you from the burden of carrying other people’s opinions and helps you maintain peace of mind in your relationships.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions  

When you make assumptions, it often leads to misunderstandings and unnecessary stress. This agreement encourages you to ask questions, communicate clearly, and approach situations with curiosity rather than filling in the gaps with fear or insecurity. By seeking clarity, you reduce anxiety and foster healthier connections.

4. Always Do Your Best  

Your best will look different depending on your energy and circumstances, and that’s okay. This agreement focuses on effort, not perfection. By giving your best, whatever that may be in any given moment, you practice self-compassion and release the need for self-criticism, allowing space for growth and well-being.

Key point #2: 

Let’s start with the first agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word. At first glance, it sounds simple, right? Speak the truth. Keep your promises. Be kind. But there’s so much more to this agreement, and it’s something we often overlook in our day-to-day lives. This agreement calls for us to use our words carefully—not only with others but, perhaps more importantly, with ourselves.

Think about it. How often do we speak to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to a friend or loved one? We’re often our own harshest critics. We might say things like, ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘I always mess up,’ or ‘I’ll never get this right.’ These words hold power—they create our reality. When our internal dialogue is filled with criticism or negativity, we’re chipping away at our emotional wellness.

The word ‘impeccable’ means ‘without sin.’ In this context, it suggests that we use our words in a way that doesn’t harm ourselves or others. Every time we use words to judge or tear ourselves down, it’s like a small cut—each one adding up over time, diminishing our sense of self-worth and wellness. By becoming more mindful of our words, we create a space where growth, healing, and self-compassion can flourish.

And it’s not just about our internal dialogue. Think about how your words affect others. How many times have you regretted saying something in the heat of the moment? Words, once spoken, can’t be taken back. They have the power to lift others up or tear them down. That’s why being impeccable with your word is about speaking from a place of love, kindness, and truth.

But why is this important for wellness? When you choose to speak kindly to yourself and others, you’re fostering emotional peace. You’re creating an environment—both internal and external—where people feel safe, supported, and valued. And that safety is critical for emotional and mental wellness. When we’re constantly on edge, worried about judgment or negativity—whether it’s coming from ourselves or others—it creates stress, anxiety, and even feelings of shame.

Another important aspect of Being Impeccable with Your Word is how we honor the promises we make to ourselves. This is where personal integrity becomes key. How often do we set goals or intentions, like promising to take better care of ourselves, only to let those commitments fall by the wayside because we’re overwhelmed or busy? We tell ourselves we’ll get to it later, but each time we break those promises, it chips away at our self-trust.

When we repeatedly fail to follow through on the commitments we make to ourselves, we begin to doubt our own ability to keep our word. This erosion of self-trust can have a profound impact on our well-being, creating a cycle of guilt, frustration, and self-doubt. Over time, we lose confidence in our ability to make positive changes, which makes it harder to pursue our goals or take care of ourselves in meaningful ways.

To break this cycle, we need to start by being more mindful of the promises we make to ourselves and following through, even in small ways. For instance, if you’ve promised yourself you’ll prioritize your health by going for a daily walk, keep that commitment. When you honor your own word, you rebuild that self-trust. And as that trust grows, so does your sense of self-worth and integrity.

One of the first steps to being impeccable with your word is becoming aware of your internal dialogue. Are you speaking kindly to yourself? Or do you often find yourself being your own worst critic? This isn’t about judgment—it’s about awareness. You can’t change what you’re not aware of. Once you start noticing negative self-talk, challenge it. Ask yourself, ‘Is this really true?’ Often, we find that our self-criticism is exaggerated or rooted in fear.

From there, we can begin to replace those critical thoughts with affirmations. It may feel strange at first, but over time, you’ll notice a shift in your mindset. For example, instead of saying, ‘I always fail,’ try replacing that thought with, ‘I’m learning and growing, and I’m proud of my progress.’ These small changes in language can create powerful shifts in how we see ourselves.

This practice extends beyond our relationship with ourselves. It’s also about how we speak to others. Before reacting in difficult situations, take a breath and ask yourself, ‘Is what I’m about to say true, kind, or necessary?’ This simple pause helps us avoid speaking from a place of anger or frustration, allowing us to communicate with more intention and compassion.

There’s also a spiritual element to being impeccable with your word. Words carry energy. When we speak with integrity and kindness, we send out positive energy that affects those around us. Our words not only shape our own reality, but they also influence the realities of others. When we speak truth and love, we elevate the people around us, and in turn, nurture our spiritual wellness.

For me, practicing this agreement has made a profound impact on my well-being. I used to be incredibly hard on myself, pushing to do more and be better, often speaking to myself in ways I would never speak to anyone else. But as I began practicing being impeccable with my word—and keeping the promises I made to myself—I noticed a shift, not only in my emotional health but in my relationships and how I approached life. It’s an ongoing journey, but it has brought more peace, balance, and authenticity into my life.

To wrap up this agreement, I encourage you to reflect on your own words and promises. Are you creating an environment of kindness, support, and wellness with your words? Are you keeping the promises you make to yourself, or are you letting them slip away, eroding your self-trust? Being impeccable with your word is a lifelong practice, but every step you take brings you closer to living with integrity, peace, and connection.

By following this practice—speaking truthfully and kindly, honoring the promises you make to yourself and others, and setting compassionate boundaries—you can foster not only emotional wellness but a deep sense of self-trust and integrity. This is where true wellness begins: in the power of your words, spoken and unspoken.

[Music]

Segment: Mindfulness Practice:

Let’s take this time to slow down, breathe, and give ourselves the gift of mindfulness. Whether you’re listening while sitting at home or on the go, I invite you to fully arrive at this moment with me. If it’s possible, gently close your eyes. If you’re moving about, see if you can soften your gaze, relax your body, and tune in to the rhythm of your breath.

First, begin by simply noticing your breath as it is. No need to change it, just observe. Notice how the air flows in through your nose, filling your lungs, and then gently releases out. Take a few moments to follow the natural rise and fall of your breath. With each inhale, feel a sense of calm washing over you. And with each exhale, let go of any tension, any worries, anything that might be distracting you from this present moment.

Now, let’s move into a grounding practice by connecting with the body. Start by feeling the weight of your body where you’re sitting or standing. Notice how the ground beneath you supports you fully, without asking for anything in return. Let yourself be held by that support.

Bring your attention to your feet. Feel them connecting with the earth, solid and grounded. Imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet, extending down into the ground, anchoring you in this present moment. With each breath, feel yourself becoming more steady, more present.

Now, move your awareness up your legs. Gently soften any tension you might find in your calves, knees, and thighs. Relax your hips, noticing if you’re holding any tightness there. Allow your spine to lengthen, creating a feeling of openness and lightness as you continue to breathe deeply.

Next, bring your awareness to your shoulders. Let them drop, releasing any stress or weight you may be carrying. Feel the relaxation flow down through your arms, to your hands, and fingertips. Let go of anything you’re holding, both physically and mentally. Let your hands rest softly wherever they are.

Finally, relax your face. Soften your jaw, let go of any tension in your forehead, and allow your eyes to relax. Feel the entire body softening, grounded, and present.

With your body grounded and your breath steady, now invite curiosity and non-judgment into this space. Begin to open your awareness to the last couple of months in your life. Let your mind gently wander through that time, observing moments where you may have applied The Four Agreements naturally and effortlessly. Were there times when you spoke kindly to yourself or others? Times when you didn’t take something personally or chose to seek clarity instead of making assumptions? Hold those moments with gratitude and recognize how they supported your wellness.

Allow yourself to breathe deeply into those experiences, feeling a sense of peace and accomplishment. Notice how embodying these agreements brought a sense of ease, connection, or emotional wellness into your life. Stay with this feeling for a few breaths, allowing it to expand.

Now, with the same gentle curiosity, I invite you to reflect on moments where you may have struggled to live by these agreements. Without judgment, think about the times when you were hard on yourself—when you spoke harshly or critically, or when you took someone’s words or actions personally. Maybe there were moments where you made assumptions that led to misunderstanding or frustration. Breathe into those moments, acknowledging them with compassion. This isn’t about criticism—it’s about awareness and growth.

As you bring these experiences into your awareness, remind yourself that these are opportunities for learning, not failure. Each of these moments gives you the chance to grow and move forward with more intention. Take a deep breath, and as you exhale, release any lingering judgment or frustration you may be holding toward yourself. Let go of any need to be perfect.

Now, let’s ground ourselves even more deeply in this practice. Take another deep breath in, feeling the air fill your lungs, and then slowly exhale. Bring your awareness back to your feet, back to your connection with the earth. Feel that sense of being fully supported, both physically and emotionally. As you sit in this grounded space, allow the weight of your past experiences to fall away, and recognize that each breath is an opportunity to begin again.

With each inhale, invite in clarity and kindness. With each exhale, let go of judgment, stress, and anything that no longer serves you. You are here, in this moment, and that is enough. Allow yourself to be at peace with where you are right now, knowing that you are growing, learning, and evolving with every breath.

Now, as you continue to breathe deeply and remain grounded, I want to invite you to ask yourself some gentle questions:  

How can I become more aware of my words and thoughts, both towards myself and others?  

What is one small step I can take to speak more kindly or be more intentional with my words?  

How can I practice not taking things personally in my relationships or interactions with others?  

Where can I challenge my assumptions and seek clarity instead?  

How can I allow space for grace and self-compassion when I don’t get it right the first time?

Let these questions float in your mind, not needing immediate answers, but creating space for reflection and awareness. This is your time to explore, to feel into what resonates with you. Trust that your inner wisdom will guide you in your own time, and that the journey toward living these agreements is a practice, not a destination.

As we bring this mindfulness practice to a close, take one last deep, grounding breath. Feel the air expand your lungs, and slowly release. Know that this space of reflection and grounding is always here for you—whenever you need to return, whenever you want to reconnect with yourself. Gently open your eyes, or refocus your gaze, bringing your awareness back to the room or the space around you. Take a moment to appreciate the calm you’ve cultivated, and carry that with you as we continue on with the rest of our journey.

[Music]

Key point #3: 

The second agreement, Don’t Take Anything Personally, is one of the most liberating principles you can incorporate into your life. It challenges the way we interpret the actions and words of others, reminding us that most of what people say and do is a reflection of their own internal world—not ours. This agreement is about freeing ourselves from the emotional weight of others' judgments, criticisms, and negativity, which often have nothing to do with us.

At first, this sounds straightforward, but in practice, it’s much harder to detach from the instinct to internalize others' behavior. When we take things personally, we allow other people’s opinions, moods, and actions to dictate our emotional well-being. Whether it's a critical remark from a friend, a disagreement with a colleague, or even a hurtful comment from a family member, our tendency is to absorb their negativity as a reflection of our worth. This habit creates unnecessary stress, emotional turmoil, and self-doubt.

But Don’t Take Anything Personally encourages us to release the grip of these reactions. By understanding that other people’s words and actions are usually about *their* perceptions, fears, or insecurities, we gain emotional freedom. Instead of carrying the weight of their emotional baggage, we can focus on maintaining our own peace and emotional well-being.

1. Understanding the Source of Others’ Behavior

One of the most powerful ways to stop taking things personally is to recognize that others are acting from their own perspective and circumstances, which may have nothing to do with you. People's reactions are shaped by their experiences, their current emotional state, and often, their unresolved issues. By remembering this, we can stop interpreting their actions as reflections of our own value or worth.

Practical Example:  

Imagine a colleague or friend snaps at you unexpectedly. Your first instinct might be to wonder, "What did I do wrong?" or "Why are they mad at me?" But before internalizing their reaction, consider the possibility that their behavior may have nothing to do with you. Perhaps they are dealing with personal stress, work frustrations, or other internal struggles. Their mood is more about them than it is about you. By stepping back and observing this, you protect yourself from carrying unnecessary emotional baggage.

2. Protecting Your Emotional Wellness

Taking things personally drains our emotional energy and can create anxiety, resentment, or even a feeling of being constantly on edge. When we allow ourselves to be affected by others' words or behaviors, we end up depleting our emotional reserves, making it harder to stay centered and calm.

A powerful way to protect your emotional wellness is by developing emotional boundaries. Whenever you feel triggered by someone else’s words or actions, take a moment to ask yourself, "Is this really about me?" or "Is this person reacting to something in their own life?" Creating that mental space between their actions and your emotions helps you maintain your peace.

Practical Example:

Imagine receiving criticism from a supervisor at work. It’s easy to let that feedback shape your self-worth, but by not taking it personally, you can see it as feedback on your work rather than an attack on who you are. This perspective allows you to take constructive feedback without letting it erode your confidence or emotional stability.

3. Focusing on Your Own Intentions

One of the key principles of Don’t Take Anything Personally is learning to ground yourself in your own actions and intentions. When you know that you are acting with integrity, kindness, and good intentions, then how others respond becomes less important. You can control your own behavior, but you can’t control how others interpret it or react to it.

When you are rooted in your own values, you can release the need for external validation or approval. This shift allows you to feel secure in your actions without relying on the responses of others to determine your worth.

Practical Example:

You might be supporting a friend during a tough time, only to be met with frustration or distance. It’s easy to take their reaction personally, but when you remember that your intention was to help and that their response may be shaped by their own struggles, it frees you from internalizing their emotions. Focusing on your own intention—rather than their reaction—helps maintain emotional balance and prevents unnecessary hurt.

4. Developing Compassion for Others

Another aspect of Don’t Take Anything Personally is the cultivation of compassion. When we recognize that people’s behavior is often a reflection of their internal struggles, we can meet them with empathy rather than internalizing their actions. Compassion allows us to see others through a lens of understanding, knowing that their words and actions are often shaped by what’s happening inside of them, not by us.

This doesn’t mean excusing hurtful behavior, but it does mean detaching from it emotionally. When you can understand that others are doing the best they can with what they are going through, it becomes easier to avoid taking their behavior as a personal attack.

Practical Example: 

A family member might make a critical comment that stings. Instead of reacting with anger or hurt, you can pause and ask, "What might they be going through right now?" Understanding that their comment is likely more about their own stress or emotions helps you detach from the hurt and respond from a place of calm rather than internalizing their negativity.

5. Practicing Mindfulness in Emotional Moments

Mindfulness is one of the most practical tools for applying Don’t Take Anything Personally. When we feel emotionally triggered, our first instinct is often to react quickly, internalizing the words or actions of others. But with mindfulness, we can create a space between the trigger and our reaction. In that space, we have the power to choose our response.

By observing our emotions without immediately reacting, we can avoid the spiral of taking things personally. Mindfulness helps us recognize that others' reactions are separate from our own emotions, allowing us to respond thoughtfully and calmly.

Practical Example:

Let’s say your child refuses to listen or throws a tantrum. Instead of internalizing their behavior as a reflection of your parenting, you can pause, take a deep breath, and recognize that their reaction may be a reflection of their own frustration or developmental stage. By using mindfulness, you can maintain your own emotional balance, respond with compassion, and avoid spiraling into self-doubt.

Closing Thoughts on Not Taking Things Personally

Learning not to take things personally is an ongoing practice, but every time you pause, detach, and protect your emotional energy, you’re making strides toward emotional freedom. By grounding yourself in your own intentions, developing compassion for others, and practicing mindfulness, you create more peace in your interactions. You’ll begin to feel lighter, less burdened by the reactions of others, and more in control of your own well-being.

The freedom that comes from this agreement can transform your relationships, your work, and your emotional wellness. So the next time you feel triggered by someone’s words or actions, remember: it’s not about you—it’s about them. And by choosing not to take it personally, you protect your peace and create space for compassion and understanding.

[Music]

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Key point #5

The fourth agreement, Always Do Your Best, reminds us that our best is not a fixed standard—it changes from moment to moment depending on our energy levels, emotional state, and circumstances. This agreement is about releasing the pressure of perfection and instead focusing on effort. When we do our best, whatever that looks like today, we can move forward without regret, guilt, or self-criticism.

This agreement is incredibly freeing because it allows space for both progress and grace. It’s a reminder that sometimes your best will look like showing up full of energy and knocking things out of the park. Other times, your best might be simply getting out of bed and doing the minimum you can. Both are valid, and both are ‘your best’ in different contexts.

1. Recognizing That Your Best Changes Daily

The first key to this agreement is recognizing that your best isn’t the same every day. Life is dynamic—some days you’re feeling energized and ready to take on the world, and other days, you’re tired or emotionally drained. On those harder days, your best might look different, and that’s okay. Honoring where you are, rather than pushing yourself to meet an unrealistic standard, is essential for your overall wellness.

Practical Parenting Example:

Let’s say you’ve had a long day and your kids are asking for your attention. You might feel like your ‘best’ as a parent should be engaging fully with them, playing a game or taking them to the park. But if you’re exhausted, your best might be sitting with them and listening or reading a book together. It’s about showing up with what you can offer in that moment, without feeling guilty that it’s not more.

2. Releasing Perfectionism and Self-Judgment

A huge part of *Always Doing Your Best* is letting go of perfectionism. We often get caught up in the idea that our best means being flawless or meeting every goal perfectly. But perfectionism is a trap that leaves us feeling like we’re never enough. By focusing on effort rather than outcome, we can release that pressure and embrace the idea that progress matters more than perfection.

Practical Example:

Maybe you’ve set a goal to exercise regularly, but today you’re feeling tired or unmotivated. Instead of beating yourself up for not doing a full workout, ask yourself, ‘What’s my best today?’ Perhaps it’s going for a 10-minute walk instead of a full workout. By doing your best in the context of today’s energy, you’re still honoring your goal without falling into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking.

3. Avoiding Comparison

Another key element of this agreement is avoiding comparison. Your best is *your* best, not someone else’s. It’s easy to look at others and feel like we’re falling short—whether it’s in parenting, work, or personal growth. But comparison only leads to frustration and dissatisfaction. When you stop comparing yourself to others and focus on what’s possible for you in this moment, you create space for self-compassion and realistic expectations.

Practical Parenting Example:

Let’s say you see other parents who seem to have everything together—they’re volunteering at school, cooking homemade meals, and keeping up with their careers. It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough. But their best might be very different from yours, and that’s okay. Maybe your best today is getting dinner on the table, even if it’s takeout, and spending quality time with your kids. Recognize that doing your best is about what works for you, not about keeping up with anyone else.

4. Focusing on Effort Over Outcome

This agreement encourages us to focus on effort, not outcome. We don’t always have control over how things turn out, but we can control how we show up and try. Whether it’s in work, relationships, or personal growth, doing your best is about putting in the effort without attaching your self-worth to the results.

Practical Example:

Perhaps you’ve been working on a personal project or a goal, but things aren’t going as planned. Maybe the results aren’t what you hoped for, or it’s taking longer than expected. Instead of feeling frustrated by the outcome, focus on the effort you’re putting in. Ask yourself, ‘Am I showing up? Am I giving this my best today?’ When you shift your focus from the end result to the process, you allow yourself to appreciate the journey and feel proud of the effort, no matter the outcome.

5. Practicing Self-Compassion

Finally, doing your best also means practicing self-compassion when things don’t go as planned. You won’t always meet your own expectations, and there will be times when you feel like you’ve fallen short. In those moments, it’s important to be kind to yourself. Recognize that even on the hard days, you’re doing your best with what you have.

Practical Parenting Example:

If you’ve had a tough day with your kids and feel like you didn’t handle a situation the way you wanted to, remember that you’re human. Instead of being hard on yourself, reflect on what you can learn from the situation and how you might approach it differently next time. But also remind yourself that you did your best in that moment, given your energy, emotions, and circumstances. Self-compassion allows you to keep moving forward with a sense of grace and understanding.

Closing Thoughts on Always Doing Your Best

The beauty of *Always Doing Your Best* is that it allows you to be present with where you are right now. It releases you from the burden of perfection and comparison and encourages you to show up, even on the hard days. When you do your best, whatever that looks like, you can end each day knowing you gave it your all—without guilt, without regret. This mindset fosters both personal growth and emotional wellness, helping you live with more peace and acceptance.

Key point #5: 

As we come to the end of today’s discussion, I want to reflect on the power of The Four Agreements and how each of them can positively influence your life, whether you’re applying them in your relationships, your personal growth, or your overall wellness.

We started with Be Impeccable with Your Word, which is not just about speaking kindly and truthfully to others, but also about honoring the promises you make to yourself. Every time you follow through on your personal commitments, you build self-trust and integrity, laying the foundation for emotional and mental wellness. And remember, our words hold incredible power. The more we speak to ourselves with kindness and encouragement, the more we create an environment where self-compassion and growth can thrive.

Then we moved into Don’t Take Anything Personally, which invites you to free yourself from the burden of internalizing others’ emotions and actions. This agreement teaches us to see that people’s behavior is often a reflection of their own struggles, and by not absorbing it as a personal attack, we can protect our emotional energy and maintain our peace. It’s about releasing the need for external validation and focusing on your own intentions.

Next, Don’t Make Assumptions reminds us of the misunderstandings and stress that arise when we jump to conclusions without asking for clarity. Whether in parenting, work, or our personal lives, assumptions often lead us down a path of unnecessary frustration. By shifting from assuming to asking questions, we foster healthier communication and avoid many of the emotional pitfalls that assumptions create.

Finally, we touched on Always Do Your Best, an agreement that encourages us to embrace progress over perfection. Your best will change from day to day, and that’s okay. This agreement isn’t about exhausting yourself in the pursuit of impossible standards—it’s about giving your best effort in each moment, whatever that may look like, and being gentle with yourself when things don’t go as planned. This practice of self-compassion opens up space for grace, resilience, and emotional balance.

Each of these agreements offers practical tools for cultivating a more peaceful, balanced life. When applied together, they become a powerful framework for wellness—helping you let go of stress, strengthen your emotional resilience, and build healthier relationships with yourself and others.

Missed Areas and Final Thoughts

One aspect we didn’t dive as deeply into is the idea of using The Four Agreements to create more intentional, positive energy in your daily life. When you combine all four principles, they work together to create a foundation of integrity, understanding, and emotional freedom. Whether it’s through mindful communication, releasing unnecessary emotional burdens, or letting go of assumptions, these agreements give you the tools to be more present, more compassionate, and more in tune with your own needs.

We also briefly touched on the importance of compassion—both for yourself and others—but it’s worth emphasizing again. Compassion is at the heart of each of these agreements. Being impeccable with your word means speaking kindly to yourself and those around you. Not taking things personally and avoiding assumptions help you approach others with empathy and understanding, rather than reacting out of hurt or frustration. And always doing your best is an act of self-compassion, allowing you to show up with grace, no matter where you are on your journey.

The last key point is that these agreements are a practice—a lifelong journey of learning, unlearning, and growing. Some days, you’ll find it easy to live by these principles, and other days, it may feel like a struggle. The important thing is to keep coming back to them, knowing that each time you do, you’re strengthening your sense of peace, integrity, and wellness.

Now that we’ve explored all the agreements, let’s move into some reflective coaching questions that will help you take these ideas even deeper and apply them to your life.

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Segment: Coaching Questions

Here are ten coaching questions that align with The Four Agreements and can help guide deeper reflection, both in parenting and personal growth. These questions encourage self-awareness, curiosity, and actionable steps for integrating the agreements into daily life:

For Be Impeccable with Your Word

1. How can you become more mindful of the words you use when speaking to yourself?  

2. What promises have you made to yourself that you haven’t kept, and how can you recommit to them?  

3. Where can you set clearer boundaries in your relationships to honor your truth and well-being?

For Don’t Take Anything Personally

4. Think of a recent situation where you took someone’s behavior personally. How might that situation have looked if you hadn’t internalized it?  

5. How can you create more emotional boundaries when your child or someone else is upset or frustrated?  

6. What might happen if you focused on your own intentions rather than seeking validation from others?

For Don’t Make Assumptions

7. Where in your life do you tend to make assumptions about what others are thinking or feeling? How can you seek clarity instead?  

8. How might open communication with your children or partner prevent misunderstandings that arise from assumptions?  

9. What assumptions have you made about yourself that might be holding you back? How can you challenge those assumptions?

For Always Do Your Best

10. What does ‘your best’ look like on a day when you’re feeling energized versus a day when you’re feeling tired or overwhelmed? How can you embrace both as valid?  

CLOSING REMARKS & EPISODE SUMMARY

Episode summary:

As we wrap up today’s episode, Episode 86 - The Four Agreements in Action: Wellness Tools for Growth, let’s take a moment to reflect on the journey we’ve taken through The Four Agreements—Be Impeccable with Your Word, Don’t Take Anything Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions, and Always Do Your Best. These powerful principles are simple yet transformative when we apply them to our daily lives, whether in our relationships, our personal growth, or in how we approach parenting.

Remember, it’s not about perfection, but progress. Each of these agreements invites us to be more mindful, more compassionate with ourselves and others, and more intentional in how we show up. If any of these topics resonated with you, and you’d like to explore how they can apply to your unique situation, I’d love to support you through a coaching consult. Feel free to reach out to me, and we can dive deeper into how you can integrate these agreements into your life.

Thanks for joining me on this episode, and I look forward to continuing this journey toward wellness and personal growth together. And remember, you are enough, just as you are, in every moment of this journey.

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Outro: 

Thank you for joining me on Wellness in Every Season. Remember to take time to relax, heal, and be present. Next week, we will be talking about managing your money with Prisca Benson

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode. I am your host, Autumn Carter, a certified life coach dedicated to empowering individuals to rediscover their identity, find balance amidst chaos, strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams. My goal is to help people thrive in every aspect of their lives. I hope today's discussion inspired you and offered valuable insights.

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One last thing to cover the show legally. I am a certified life coach giving general advice. So think of this more like a self-help book. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. So this podcast shouldn't be taken as a replacement for professional guidance from a doctor or therapist. If you want personal one-on-one coaching from a certified life and parenting coach, Go to my website, wellnessineveryseason.com. That's where you can get personalized coaching from me.

See you in next week's episode.