Healing with Deryck

Transcript

Lirec: 1:22

Hey, what's going on, you guys? My name is Lyric, the creator 15 minutes with dad. And today we are here with a special guest and they're going to take us through the journey of their life, connect us with their family and give you insights on things that you can do in your life as being a father. If you have not followed. 15 minutes with dad, the podcast healing series, or the fatherhood speaks. Make sure that you go and subscribe to us on YouTube, Facebook, Tik TOK, Instagram. We're on all social media platforms, as well as all streaming sites. So make sure you go and tap in rate our podcast, tune in with us because when you share it and when you rate it, you let somebody else know that you like it and that they would be able to appreciate it too. appreciate it too. So thank you for tuning in with us today. We have. Mr. Deryck Richardson. How are you?

Deryck Richardson: 2:31

I'm good, man. How you? doing?

Lirec: 2:34

I'm doing swell, man. Thank you for taking the time out to, to join us on this evening. I know that you got to get to a family dinner, so we got to, we're going to get through this episode and pull the insights that you have and really understand your story. So start off by telling us who you are, if you will.

Deryck Richardson: 2:52

Sure. So Derek Richardson, I am a serial entrepreneur. a lot of people say what do you do? You got your hands on so many things. I Major business is Richardson Marketing Group. We're proud to be a three time best place to work in Columbus, Ohio. A two time Fast 50. Recognizing the fastest growing privately held companies in the area also. And that's the ATM machine that allows me to play in other spaces. Also have a life insurance agency here. I'm also in the sunglasses business and accessory business. The coffee business. Wrote a book. I speak. I coach. I mentor, etc.

Lirec: 3:27

man, you are, out there doing work, man. I appreciate you taking the time out. That seems like you got a lot of hats to fill and I'm not, I'm definitely not going to take too much of your time, but at 15 minutes with dad, we believe that fathers and children can spend 15 minutes with their kids or with their fathers to really make an impact in each other's life and really build that relationship. So let's start off by saying, are you a father? I know you're a father, but you can tell the viewers that you're a father.

Deryck Richardson: 3:56

I am. I am. I have four kids and believe it or not, three grandkids. I know I look young, but

Lirec: 4:02

yeah, like young grandfather, man. Yeah. So you, so how is your, how do you, would you say when, if you're comparing your father, the way you grew up with your father versus how you you father, is there a difference or is there some similarities?

Deryck Richardson: 4:19

Both. My father is an immigrant. He is from the Bahamas and he came to Ohio state to get his PhD. He's a psychologist and didn't go back home. My mom fell in love and the rest of history. Culturally, there are some differences. They don't have football in the Bahamas. I was a football player.

Lirec: 4:39

He's not basketball guy. I love my American sports. And my dad was very much reading. You're going to be a scholar. You're going to be very smart. You're going to be a doctor. And I'm very much can I just get out here and play these sports? and so with my kids we're very much athletic focused, and at least we were athletic focused when they were younger. Again, they're grown now. And so our house really revolved around youth sports, which our house did too, except for without my, my, my dad's 100 percent understanding of the sport. Certainly at every single game, certainly supportive, but we would just went outside throwing the football, right? get your homework done kind of guy. But the similarities are very similar because as I look back, man, my kids tell stories of how I've lectured them and tried to give them insights just like my father did and really sat them down on the proverbial psychologist chair just like my dad did. And and they said that was some of the worst punishments they got. In my house, my mom hit you real quick it's over with and my dad would sit you down and make you think. And our house operated way with my If I'm the disciplinarian, we're going to talk this out. And you're not going to say, I don't know, that's not an answer. A lot of right. a lot of differences in how I was raised by my father and how I have fathered my children. Okay. And so if we, if let's dive into it a little bit, you say that, spending that time developing you or developing you in that nature. What is the most, memorable moments that you have with your dad, positive or negative?

Deryck Richardson: 6:09

It's so funny because the most positive moments that I had with my dad was time. My dad, though he's a psychologist, I don't know if you guys are old enough to remember in Living Color when they make fun of the Caribbeans with 15 different jobs a month.

Lirec: 6:22

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 6:23

entrepreneur, so he has his private practice, but he also works for the Ohio Bureau of Disability Determination. As an adjudicator and spent some time as a professor when we were younger. Also, so three jobs, even though, he's an entrepreneur, right? As a private practice doctor. And so my dad had late nights, man. Oftentimes he was home after we were in bed. And so a lot of the positive memories were on Saturday when my mom said they're yours now. And so we got to this, the time, the 15 minutes with dad on, on Saturdays, we would go to the library and we would get books, we would get DVDs. We will watch we're watching the DVD that we rented or the VHS that we rented from the library or reading the book that we rented from the library. He's asleep on the couch because he's tired, right? He's worked 80 hours this week. But he's there in the room. And in the most positive memories, my dad is also a very emotional guy, not in terms of tears or anything like that, but he's a hugger and I'm gonna leave my house to come in my mom's house without hugging my dad. And I think that really taught me that emotions were okay, specifically in the era in the nineties when we were supposed to be big. Big and bad and tough and not really showing to our emotions. Back then, it was nothing for me to hug my dad, kiss my dad when oftentimes my friends weren't doing that.

Lirec: 7:38

Like you said, during that time frame, it was not always heard of it was the same, I didn't have many men in my life, but what I was always told, and I think that the women in my life reverberated what the men was portraying at the time, and that was a thing to be hard and and stuff like that, so that's a beautiful thing to have had, especially in that time, in that era. Yeah, that's definitely beautiful. And what about are there any memories that you feel could have been opportunities or you felt like opportunities in growth with your relationship with your dad

Deryck Richardson: 8:11

Yeah, because he was an intellect and I don't know what was wrong with us in the nineties, man, and not certainly not everybody. I'm not saying that, but we did not take our grades seriously. Specifically in my circle. And again, if the shoe fits, where's I'm not talking about everybody, but it was nothing to come home with these and F's man. And just not do your homework and just, be out in the streets and hanging with girls and playing sports and just not really caring about your future, not forecasting your future. And so a lot of the negatives when I rebelled and became a teenage father and really was doing something that shouldn't have done in my teenage years was probably because anytime my dad was involved, he was disciplining me. Remember my dad is a scholar. He's a PhD, he's a doctor. And so to see his son, His first son, by the way, there's four of us, but I'm the first boy bring home these D's and F's. I graduated high school with a 1. 9. It was disappointing to him. And so that

Lirec: 9:03

let you out.

Deryck Richardson: 9:04

they did let me out. And I would go on to graduate. I would go on. One of my famous stories. I tell the youngsters these days. I would go on to graduate. From Ohio Dominican with a 3. 75. I just gave the keynote at graduation last year at Ohio Dominican University as their keynote speaker.

Lirec: 9:19

That potential. You didn't realize it early. Yeah,

Deryck Richardson: 9:21

I didn't realize that early, but some of those feelings were like, man, if my dad's around, it's because I'm in trouble and he's going to sit me down and make me confront and talk about this. And I really didn't like it. So I use those opportunities to rebel and again, he has late nights, man, I thought everybody's dad came home at 8, 9, 10 o'clock at night. They didn't. and so I had that time, even though my mom was in the house to overpower her a little bit, Right. And to do what I wanted to do. And then when he came home, it was like, Hey, let's sit down and talk about this because this thing will happen. And so that we had this confrontation, my fault, 100 percent my fault. But the negatives were certainly those high school years when I was getting disciplined and that's really all the the communication that we had or at least the stuff that's memorable and that's why it goes back to that 15 minutes with dad, right? The good times are when he was there and when I was a little bit younger and it wasn't all a, you're doing this wrong. You need to do this. But he certainly was a disciplinary disciplinarian verbally. And I think that I'm such an alpha that got on my nerves. People tell me what to do even though he's my dad.

Lirec: 10:19

Yeah, I think what's interesting is because there's a couple of dynamics that are playing in here. There's the cultural dynamic. Coming, coming from the Bahamas that's a very close knit to the African diaspora, right? So you have a lot of the cultural aspects from of growth and development is yo, I'm an immigrant. I came to this country and I worked really hard. I, I put, like you said, put all these hours in and a lot of their, a lot of that cultural part, you growing up in a country that culturally is the opposite, and trying to navigate your childhood. With the father that kind of, came here probably, was he an adult when he came, when he got to the United States

Deryck Richardson: 10:54

he was a college student so yeah, certainly he was a college student, came to Ohio State to get his PhD so

Lirec: 10:59

Yeah. So yeah you're coming with someone that was formed in another country with a different cultural background, trying to coach you in a realm that he is unfamiliar with almost. That's interesting. That's interesting. And not to say he didn't adapt, but it was more like the age group, like the generation that was coming from behind where he was, is almost foreign at that time.

Deryck Richardson: 11:19

Sure, absolutely,

Lirec: 11:20

say that we talked Black Girl Dad Week was happening last weekend and there was a talk. Roland Martin came and had a talk with Congresswoman what is it, Congresswoman Beatty and Roland Martin was talking about these two concepts. He said there was the fathers that are present and the fathers that have a presence. And so I throw that out there and I want you to take those two terms and I want you to classic or cascaded onto your dad in any of those terms and then cascade yourself and your fatherhood with your kids currently.

Deryck Richardson: 11:57

Sure so being present is just that. You're around, this isn't a single Family household. Certainly many men struggle with that because they think they're doing something because the present. Of course, we're now in an era where drugs and alcohol and of course, in our era to could play a factor that you're there, but you're higher, you're. You're intoxicated. Of course, many men have been known to beat their Children and beat their wives. So they're present, right? but to have a presence means to create an influence to shape and mold. A life in a positive manner and, my dad did a very good job of that. And as much as I say that, he wasn't there because he was working when he was working, you gotta provide, and it's in his blood to do and it's funny how I've grown up and now I got my hands on so many different things and I'm not going to be home. I got a family dinner tonight. I'm not going to be home till seven 30, probably. So it's funny how it comes full circle. It's just in our blood to go work and hustle. But the presence to make sure that you're making an impact, to make sure that they are learning from you, that they, that you are rubbing off on your children in a positive manner is important for

Lirec: 13:07

Yeah. And how do you apply that in your household when, so knowing that you work a lot, how do you apply having a presence? What are some things that you do to to have more, to have presence in your home, even though you're not always exactly present early in the daytime or something like that, like physically present, but it's still being able to try and have presence inside of your kid's life growing up. And I know they're adults now, but are there out the house and whatnot, but growing up and now as well, how do you have, how do you show presence?

Deryck Richardson: 13:39

sure. Sure. So I would, yeah so sure. So we were able To really bond through sports which is why that's such a big topic when you talk about the difference and how I grew up I know that my father likely wished that we could bond through academia, but we didn't, but I bonded with my Children, all four of them through sports. I coached all of them. And even as they got older and became high school students I, One a nonprofit and hillary the Hillary optimism on the president of the club. We handle football, lacrosse, basketball, cheerleading, and volleyball essay and rhetorical contest. It's a nonprofit, it's a volunteer position, but I have put my kids in coaching positions even as adults there. So now they're coaching and getting to experience the. The joy of coaching as well. And we get to talk about that, right? We really bond over sports. We have three boys and one girl, the Olympics, man, the gymnastics, the days of Gabby with my daughter was fantastic. She's a Hooper. She's a super Hooper. The NBA playoffs all star weekend just passed. Those are times in our house that we really bond. I really bond with my children through sports. There's so many lessons to, to be had. And when they're on the field, you get to talk about what you learned today. And when they're off the field, you get, as adults, you get to talk about what did they learn when you're watching, a sports program. And I'm really able to give lessons and really shaped. through sports, man. We were sports household and still are a sports household. We have a group chat and you should have seen the chats that were happening over all star saturday night with the dunk contest and even leading up to the dunk contest on friday and the Super Bowl. Same thing. Oftentimes the kids are at our house watching Ohio State Buckeyes football, right? We were a

Lirec: 15:22

That's interesting. That's interesting. How you that's interesting. Oh, you got a red zone.

Deryck Richardson: 15:26

Yeah.

Lirec: 15:26

got a red

Deryck Richardson: 15:27

zone house. So Sundays, you know, we, I got something on the grill and we watching red zone and watching teams over here and over there. And, that's just how we do, man.

Lirec: 15:35

Yeah. That's good stuff. So and I wanna talk to that contrast.'cause I like how you, when, how you laid out the fact okay, my dad, although he had a presence, he also didn't have he didn't bond with me in the way that I, that you needed him to bond. And this kind of caused some kind of tension. It didn't have, I think that point of contact. With your sports would have made maybe a difference in how y'all communicated together. And that's just my, that's my assertion or my assumption, not assertion. And the point that I want to make is how tight knit that you've formed your bond with your kids. I'm sure you've gone through a rebellious stage. I'm going through one right now with my teenage child. Not rebellious, but she has her own abstract thoughts, so I allow her to do that. And sometimes it clashed, but, I want to point out the fact that there's, there are most fathers that find it hard to really connect with their children. And something that I found that you have also found that you may have connected to your childhood is that connecting with your kids in a place where they are what they, what an interest that they have and really pouring into that interest. I've coached my daughter as well. I still I still coach her even while she has other coaches, but I'm a sideline coach when I'm,

Deryck Richardson: 16:47

Yeah, man. Yeah.

Lirec: 16:49

I wanted to, I want to make a point to your story on how the, I think that is a very effective way to connect for a father to connect with their child in those places where they feel that, I just don't get my kid or my kid is they do their own thing. I don't have time to do that. I don't want to figure this out or I don't know what they do. They do something. I think that is the point at which it is very, that is like the door into your child's heart is by sharing the love of something, even if you don't know anything about it. So I'm gonna be honest with you. I suck that basketball. As a kid, I was terrible. I was trash, garbage uncoordinated. I'm probably a little bit still uncoordinated, but I'm madly in love with basketball now. I was a football player, wrestler track runner, all that stuff. But basketball, I was like. I just did recreational. My daughter is a really is really good and I've coached her and I've only gotten better because I coached her. I learned basketball through coaching her. So because she wanted to do it, because she wanted to play better, I had to learn how to coach her better, which taught me how to play basketball, which now we. That's something that we both share. We love women's basketball. We've seen Caitlin Clark when she came into town and got stumped by the Ohio Buckeyes. But I say that it's vital almost for us for dads to connect with their kids in the place where they are most familiar with or something that they like the most. And I think that you did a great job. And I think that you've understood where there was a gap. Even though you know you have a good relationship with your dad, you understood that was a moment or a gap in there that could have major relationship go different. Had he connected with you in the realm of sports rather than instead of feeling like you're having to separate from the house to get sports. You were able to do the sport, it was a household thing, like you've made it in your home, and I think that's a phenomenal approach.

Deryck Richardson: 18:43

Where you are is important. I don't know. I don't know how religious you want me to be, but I'm going to speak from my mind. Of the 10 coins comes to mind. There was a lady who had 10 coins, silver coins, and I'll paraphrase and she lost one

Lirec: 18:58

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 18:59

and she went crazy.

Lirec: 19:00

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 19:00

And some people say you got nine, what's the other one for, she forgets about the nine and she looks for, The lost coin. And you know where she found the lost coin right where it was.

Lirec: 19:16

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 19:17

And so when you lose relationships, you sometimes have to find those people where they are. I'm so glad that you said that it's not just sports. It was the whole cultural difference. Sports certainly was a major aspect, but he could have found me where I was in cinema. In music, in literature, because it was totally different. And I'm not saying he wasn't looking. I'm not saying that at all, because my dad and I have a fantastic relationship now, and I rely on him for a lot of advice as a man. And as a father, now he's one of the most qualified people as a psychologist, a clinical psychologist to give men. Who as entrepreneurs, we don't have people who we can talk to a lot of the time. So my dad is one of the most qualified people on the face of the planet to give me advice. And I use that now. And he is, he has given his services to many of my friends and business partners, his professional services now, but back then I was right there. But the difference in my opinion is also the timing. Remember so also, even though I'm young, I look young my, my father's pushing the Navy. Back then, children should be seen and not heard.

Lirec: 20:35

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 20:35

We weren't taking into consideration the feelings and emotions of children back then. You do this, and you do it because I said, because I told you to do it.

Lirec: 20:43

Yeah. Don't question. Don't ask. don't,

Deryck Richardson: 20:46

Don't question it, don't ask, because I said so, right? And so these are the things that, that, that really played a part in me just saying, it's not because you said so, I'm out of here, right? You don't watch the same shows I watch. You're telling me not to listen to this rap music, right? I'm over here reading John Grisham. You're telling me to read, the encyclopedia. I don't know. I'm exaggerating, but my father is a

Lirec: 21:09

Sigmund Freud. You want to like.

Deryck Richardson: 21:10

You see what I'm saying? And I love sports and, again, he's at every game, bro. Every game.

Lirec: 21:15

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 21:16

My dad never missed a game. I would not see my dad, I would see him in the stadiums and not see him at home because he went back to work. He was present, for sure. But when you say find your children where they are, the parable of the ten silver coins says she found the tenth coin right where it was. She found it, where it was. And so I try to find my children where they are. And it's funny because rebellion is funny and also Luke 4, 24 and I'll get off to the religion, but says no man can be a prophet in his own land. So I'm this, big time businessman, big time guy in my community. Playing politics, do all this stuff. My kids don't think I'm a prophet. They ain't listening to me.

Lirec: 22:07

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 22:07

we've seen some of the same hurdles that I have overcome pretty good teenage father happened to my second oldest

Lirec: 22:18

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 22:20

Baby mama drama happened to my second oldest son.

Lirec: 22:24

We're

Deryck Richardson: 22:24

Not knowing where, what I want to do, not knowing what I want to do professionally happened to, I would say, two of the four children, and I'm here. I'm trying to find you where you are'cause I've been there and successfully exited that stage in my life and they don't want to hear it, bro.

Lirec: 22:43

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 22:44

try to find my children right where they are and I try to use those conversations. That's why they say I lecture, right? I'll come on, man. I don't want to hear about, how I handled that situation with my baby's mom. I don't want to hear about how I just left this job because I wasn't happy. I don't want to hear because I'm trying to find them where they are. And sometimes that's not the right answer either, bro, is my point. So even though my, my, my father didn't find me where I was. I've tried to find my children where they are and sometimes that's the wrong answer also,

Lirec: 23:12

Yeah. I'm learning that too. Let's talk a little bit about and, I don't want to take up a lot of your time, but I do want to get into the part. You said that you were a teenage father. And I was also a teenage father, so I definitely have gone through the journeys of being for myself. I, it was a little bit different. I didn't have my dad in my life and, but I was a teenage father. Didn't know how to be a man. Didn't really have a model of a man to be like but I had to really carve out what that looks like over time and try to be a father and grow, create dreams, visions, goals and accomplish things. But knowing like. Tell me a little bit about that, that, that concept. When what was your earliest age or that you had your first child?

Deryck Richardson: 23:56

so I was 19 when I had my first child. The the mixture and my parents never really said this because you, I don't know if you did or not, but I hesitated in telling them. That I was about to have a baby. The fear of backlash was real. And when I finally told them, cool, let's go, what are we going to do? And the mixture of, they never said it, but the disappointment the thought that I assume they probably have had of he's throwing away his life was a burning still burns to this day. Piece of motivation for me to succeed in this world.

Lirec: 24:40

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 24:41

The baby itself that fit in my forearm certainly was motivating.

Lirec: 24:46

Oh yeah,

Deryck Richardson: 24:48

Certainly was

Lirec: 24:49

first, that

Deryck Richardson: 24:49

and shape and mold. Correct. This is motivating, but also the fact, and they never said it, but also the fact that I believe that my parents and the world think that I'm probably a statistic, a minority teenage father. Now it's time to put on my cape and prove them wrong. Is when I matured. That is when I matured is when I became a father. Period.

Lirec: 26:51

yeah. I say, yeah, I say the same thing. It was like a a switch when I was in the hospital and I'm holding my daughter and she rips her little finger around my hand and I'm crying cause honestly I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I have no idea what I'm about to do for the I didn't even have a place to stay of my own. I'm living with my grandmother at the time. And had, I had nothing like I didn't have sheets on my bed kind of thing. It was definitely a scary moment, but I told myself at that point, there is, I'm going to change your life. I'm going to, I'm going to create a world where you don't have to live the way that I did. And it's taken time, but it only if I calculate the years, it only took really Seven years. I finished college by the time she was four. I wasn't even in college when she was pregnant, but I went back to college, finished college by the time she turned four, and then got my first career job and just started like really just, trying to climb this little corporate ladder. And I'm, I'm nowhere where I want to be, but I know that I am way better than I was at that time. 10 times better within,

Deryck Richardson: 27:54

Same, bro. Same. It's funny because I was, that, that switch that you talk about, I was headed down the wrong path, bro. The wrong path. And when that switch came on and I said, okay, we got to go that's the feeling that men run from sometimes and women. That's the feeling that people run from. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel this pressure to make sure that this little being survives and not only survives, but has a life that is valuable. And that is why they say I'm not the father. That's why there are more. That's why they're on

Lirec: 28:30

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 28:31

bro. Because they're scared of that feeling. That's the feeling that will turn boys into men.

Lirec: 28:38

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 28:39

that feeling in the hospital you had is the same feeling that will drop the toughest men to their knees too, and they'll start crying.

Lirec: 28:45

Yeah. Yeah. And I put that I talked about that moment. I talked about that moment in my book. And when, like, when I was found out I broke my book into different sections of being a teenage father, a growing father, and a the broke father. I break it up to different stages of my life and how I navigated through fatherhood, through my trauma and trying to become an impactful father. But it was like that moment when I found out she was pregnant, I immediately got so scared that I was like I don't want to be here. I wasn't even near her. She texted me, I was at Walmart, and I immediately said, I just want to disappear. This is, I have no idea what this means. I was just like, I want to disappear. I, can I run away? Where can I go? Will she find me? I was like, I was thinking of abortion. I was thinking of every single solitary. I was like, this can't be real. I got to I got to make this go away. And not out of fear of anybody. Cause my, my, my mom wasn't really. that active in my life like that. And and my grandmother also wasn't that active. I was really out on my own. And so that, but it was like, I wanted to do something big with my life. And I was like, I can't do nothing big with my life. But then I realized this kind of helped me do something bigger. in my life than I ever would have thought I could be. But yeah, that fear definitely crippled me for maybe 25 minutes of texting back and forth with the mother of my daughter. I was like, I hit her with the usher talk. I was like, put that on everything. Are you sure you don't put you tell me to test you take, she said she took five. But I say that to say during the pregnancy I was there, but I didn't have a presence. Like I, I was there doing the motions, but emotionally and psychologically, I was like, it still wasn't real to me. But when she was born, first off, when she came out, I almost vomited and I faint, almost fainted and vomit at the same time. But then when I held her, it, it switched that switch was so powerful. I was like, yo, I gotta do, I'm going to do everything in my absolute power. I would never stop it. And I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know what like what those steps were going to be. I had no path. I had no guidance. I had no mentors. I had no vision of what was going to take place. But I knew for a fact that for her, I will see a difference. I will make something happen. Yeah, man, it's been up ever since. It's a powerful thing.

Deryck Richardson: 31:09

It's very powerful man. It's very powerful. And my mom, man my mom said something that was powerful a couple of years ago and that was that we have made her a double empty nester because my mom is the one that nurtures the entire neighborhood. So we were the house where all the bikes were out in the front yard. We were the house where the kids just walked in and before they said hello, they're in the fridge. Just little neighborhood kids, right? My mom was that, that was always her her piece of comfort was to be the matriarch of not only our family, but of the neighborhood and all of our friends. And when she said that, I didn't understand it. I said a double empty nester. She said, yeah. She said, all these kids were in the house and y'all grow up and leave. And y'all want to have kids all young. And so guess who's babysitting them? I am. So now all the grandkids are in the house and now the grandkids, the core the original grandkids have started to to have their own families and they're not in the house anymore. And she said, the house is silent. I'll never forget my, my, my youngest is 18. He just graduated last year and we sent him to Arizona to my brother in law's. And so we were empty nesters for about six months, six months to come back. And the house was silent.

Lirec: 32:20

Yeah.

Deryck Richardson: 32:20

was silent, bruh. And and I called my mom. I said, now I know what you mean. Now I know what you mean by being a double empty nester. And but my mom Also was a sense of inspiration because there's no way I can grow up in a house with a matriarch as powerful as my mother and then let down beings that I created.

Lirec: 32:41

yeah, that's a different type of, that's a different type of disappointment, to, I think that it was like almost like a yo I already made this decision. It is what it is at this point. Now I got to I have to show up, I have to show up and I have to show out. And I think I applaud you. I applaud you on putting that work in and staying present and having a presence in your kids life and and continuing that to build that family circle that you've continued from your family. And it's a beautiful thing. And I'm like I said, I'm gonna let you get back to dinner. I have one last thing. Can you tell what? What is something that you have that you would have in your heart to tell fathers before we go to tell fathers? that you feel would be a not only a nugget of knowledge, but something that can take and implement into their lives right now. A strange fathers, new dads or fathers that are fathers to young kids, fathers of teenagers that hold you've been through the, you've been through the spectrum. So yeah. What do you have?

Deryck Richardson: 33:43

Man, I got a lot of stuff to talk about. So I know I got dinner waiting at home, but I'm going to go for a couple minutes here because I'm going to tell you a story that I'm going to answer your question. A couple years ago. We it was more than a couple of years ago. I've been in this office now for, whoof pushing nine years. And so we switched from 1099 to W 2 probably seven, six, seven years ago. And when we switched from 1099 to W 2, with that comes child support for those who are put on child support. And I'm a very calm, cool, and collected leader. If I blow a gasket per se, it's once a year, it's my father, right? So let's talk about this, let's have a seat, what's going on. And these men who worked for me. were complaining Lirec

Lirec: 34:43

how about paying child support? Yeah. All right.

Deryck Richardson: 34:58

children ride in that car Single didn't nothing but get a bigger house your children live in the house.

Lirec: 35:06

Facts. All

Deryck Richardson: 35:11

And you're sticking her you're so weak that you are sticking a female, somebody who you laid down with the full responsibility of raising your child and then going to complain about being financially responsible, are you serious?

Lirec: 35:27

right. Thank you.

Deryck Richardson: 35:28

I went off bruh, on everybody. I slammed this door. Slammed this door right behind me. And they said, what's wrong with him? And so the problem is that how can you even raise your children to be strong men if you aren't strong men? Does the world have strong leaders if they're not, if there's not strong men in this world and strong women, if there's not strong people in this world That our leaders and our men can build and mold. Then what does the future of this country and this world look like? You have a bigger responsibility than to just say hello, son or daughter, I love you. You have a responsibility to shape the future of this country and of this world. That responsibility, you accept the moment you lay down with somebody. So if you want to lay down with somebody, you're accepting the responsibility that if a being comes from this It is my responsibility to make sure that this being makes this world better. How can you do that if you're not present? You're not only letting yourself down, your children down, the mother of your children down, you're letting the world down. If you do not step up and be a good father, you will fail. Your children will hate you at times. They will love you at times, but they'll hate you at times. You will make mistakes. There's no book on how to parent. But if you're going to accept the responsibility, Of bringing a life into this world and then run from it. That's the worst thing you can do. And I know that there's excuses out there. Oh, but she ain't gonna let me see my kids.

Lirec: 37:17

Right.

Deryck Richardson: 37:18

to court. Oh, she got another man around. So now another man is taking your responsibility. So now you've passed that responsibility on to another man. Oh, but I ain't got no money. Go get some money. I promise you there's money out here to be had. Oh, but this, oh, but that, oh, but this. Stop with the excuses and remember your responsibility to raise these children, to leave this planet in a better position than it was when you found it. If that does not motivate you, then don't lay down with anybody.

38:24

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