How did we get to this point? Mariah is learning to navigate the dating world and I am pulling my hair out trying to navigate it as well. Here are some effective strategies to navigate.
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Thank you for joining us on this transformative journey! Together, we're breaking barriers and fostering a community of healing.
How did we get to this point? Mariah is learning to navigate the dating world and I am pulling my hair out trying to navigate it as well. Here are some effective strategies to navigate.
✉️ Subscribe and Share: Receive the latest episodes directly in your inbox by subscribing on our website. Don't forget to share your thoughts and experiences with the community!
🎧 Listen on Your Favorite Platforms: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Anchor, and more.
Thank you for joining us on this transformative journey! Together, we're breaking barriers and fostering a community of healing.
Hey, what's going on you guys. My name is Lyric, you're Wild and Not Creative. And it's your girl Mariah. And this is 15 Minutes with Dad. This week, we have a brand new episode for you guys, and you're going to love it. We also have a special guest. Aman is in the house. Everybody give him a hand clap. That's my baby. That's my baby. Yeah. So, I was a baby. Right. You are my baby, but you're my bigger baby. so this week we're going to be talking about, we're going to be talking about Mariah's Love life. We're going to go into, go into details and y'all going to learn a little bit about my perspective on how I feel about things, which may or may not matter. But guess what? Y'all Mariah's got a boyfriend doing none of them verbs. No K I S S I N G all that. We ain't doing it. however, however, a part of fatherhood is letting your, watching your kids grow, but providing an environment where they can grow, you know, well. So this is, this is hard for me, but we're going to get into that. If you have not liked or subscribe, make sure you go and subscribe to this video right now, if you're watching this on YouTube, if you're listening to this, make sure that you go and drop a comment, make sure that you share this with people that would, that would, that you would love to hear this. Also, when you rate our podcast, People that have not heard about us or seen us gets to experience what you love so much about this podcast. So make sure that you rate this podcast as well as share it with people that you would love to hear this. This podcast is about healing. It's about fatherhood and it's about our relationship. And when he gets old enough, it's going to be about our relationship. We got, we got some things. I just read, I just, I got a succession plan. When you go off into college and you can't do episodes with me as much. Oh, dude, he's gonna beat him. He's gonna make my, he's gonna, he's gonna be crazy. He's He's the 2. 0. No, I'm joking. Anyways, I'm the better version. You're the primary you're the test. Okay, so Let's get let's get into this episode. So mariah, I love so it is known that you have a Boyfriend that I hate I hate air quotes is crazy. I hate What's
Mariah:
that a boyfriend like
Lirec:
I hate saying the words it actually makes me choke. Oh, I
Mariah:
have a You A friend, guys. A little friend.
Lirec:
Yes, she has a little friend. what's his name?
Mariah:
His name's Owen.
Lirec:
What the heck just happened? Let me try and say it and see if it happens. Owen. Nope, didn't, didn't. I don't even know what they call that. Somebody gotta, tell me, what is that? What was that? I don't know. Some ASMR type stuff going on. I was confused, Lord. Oh my God, help me. so you have this little friend now. How's that going? Very
Mariah:
good. We're, we just reached two months. Two months. Hey, let's go. Yeah.
Lirec:
yeah, that's it. That's all you got. Of course. He got a little more than what you gave, what you gave. All right, so let's, let's, let's, so what is, what do you like about Owen? What is, what is, what makes you about him?
Mariah:
I like his, his patience with me, because you know, sometimes I can be a little much, but like, he doesn't really. What is that face i'm listening
Lirec:
You can make all those Faces, that's my face. That's mine
Mariah:
He's very respectful, you know, like and gentle I don't know like I don't know how to explain that but like he's not like Extreme He can be soft, you know, like even though like there's some guys like oh like that's only for So that's like for, like, that's not what a guy does or whatever. That's not what a man does, but like, he's gentle. Like he's able to be soft with me, you know, instead of just like aggressive and stuff. How does it make you feel? It feels very good. It makes me feel like loved. It makes me feel like. Not heard, but like, seen. I don't know how to explain it. Like, it makes me feel like, oh, he's able to be soft with me, you know, like, cause some guys don't, you know, don't really do that, but it's like, he's able to put aside like all that. Oh, that's not what a man does sort of stuff. And it's like,
Lirec:
yeah, just open to learning about you, learning you and learning how to be with you. Ah, okay. Let's compare this to pass, right? We had an episode prior to this called boys, boys, boys, go back and watch it. where we talked about the, the guys that she liked, right. And she didn't have a preference at the time. And there was a couple that came down the chain that didn't quite make that and make it to me. God and let them make it to me. But there was a, there was a couple of guys. Let's compare, like, what is the difference? What differences do you see in. this relationship overall that you feel, how do you see yourself in this relationship that's different than the ones prior, like last year?
Mariah:
I think right now I'm definitely a lot happier because I feel like last year I was probably like in a bad mental space and they weren't really helping. Cause like. They weren't, they weren't talking like, I'm not talking, but they weren't really Communicating or like letting me communicate having an open communication sort of space. It's more they would sort of just Throw what I feel out of out of the window.
Lirec:
Right, right, right. They didn't validate. Yeah, it became about them quite often Yeah, okay,
Mariah:
like for it with him. He lets me communicate like talk about how I'm feeling and He actually like We go through a whole flow on like how to like make it better and stuff like that. Yeah.
Lirec:
Yeah, that's cool. That's good. That's good. Well, let's talk about how I feel. Let's on that note. Talk about how they flip it. Let's talk about how I feel. I'm not happy about this at all. I'm just going to be honest, straightforward. I don't like it one bit. I don't like, I don't like the idea that my daughter, has her time or her energy being, shifted to, a boy. But, but, but boy, that's my honest opinion. However. I would throw in the fact that, the guys that she had interest in before, I had utter rejection for because I seen how they were from a thousand miles away. right now I have no, I have no like rebuttals toward Owen. I actually liked the kid. Like, I liked the guy he's, he's, let's talk about like, That's just my honest opinion. Like, I don't like the fact that she's dating. I, she is of age where I was like, okay, you can have, you can have a boyfriend claiming thing going. And I don't know how to put these in words, a boyfriend thing, claiming going thing, but you have to be like, I. I have expectations that you would work through your relationship with support of an adult, not to go, right. We had that conversation like before it was like, Hey, I'm gonna sneak around. I'm gonna find me a guy and then I'm gonna pop it on my dad and then expect my dad to just be okay with it. But, like this, this time, I think she finally heard me after I uttered, like, it, it's, it, If you, if as a, as a kid, as a teenager, teenagers or kids don't really know how to date adults. Don't even know how to date. Let's be honest. But I know that there's. There's advice that could come from me or come from, any adult in your life that could help guide you rather than you trying to do it by yourself and isolating yourself because you're trying to hide kind of not saying that you did that, but I still it's easier to, to fall into the woods of poor relationship, negative mental health stuff. And when you don't have any adults to help guide you, or any responsible adults to help guide you. And so this time she tried something different. She. Use that information and we've been having, we've, her and I have open communication about it and I'm, you know, Open to the fact they've gone out on, I shop around, you know, a date with him, right? I did that. I shop around a date with him, went to go watch the movies and whatnot. And, he's a respectable kid. And I really, I think it makes it easier when the guy that she, that she chooses to like has respect for himself, respect for family and respect for her. And I see that and I appreciate that. And I can see that I was telling her, I was telling her the other day that I see. Like, I don't know him personally, but I see how you are. And I watch how you are and how you change based on this newfound relationship. So I am very much, aware. I try to give her autonomy and space in that regard and let her learn, how to be loved and how to learn, how to create whore. And I think it's the same for him, right? Y'all learning to love each other, learning how to love, learning how to be in a relationship, learning how to be loved. That whole nine yards is. I think it's, I think it's a beautiful thing. I definitely
Mariah:
think that like, talking to you, it actually like, I feel like it helps me also navigate through this like, relationship as well. Because before, whenever I was hiding it, I feel like that's when I was in bad relationships. And like, not, you know, like, not being able to like, me feeling like, like I was like, oh, I don't want my dad to get mad, so I didn't tell you like, things. And I feel like that actually kind of like, made it, Worst because I didn't know what to do and then but like now that I'm able to talk to you about stuff but not like not like I wasn't able to talk to you, but now like since I feel like Oh, like I know that you won't get mad because I feel like since that we've had multiple conversations and I feel like Like a lot. I don't know how to explain it
Lirec:
Like open to communicate about the things that may come up in your relationship or may come up in the time. Yeah, I see that. I seen that and I realized somewhere in there. So, and this is a lesson that I feel like. All fathers should know if you have daughters is that there's gonna come like You have to know how one you have to know how to communicate what it is You're trying to say because obviously everyone knows like okay Daddies don't want their girls to get to give their girls away to somebody else I had to deal with some mental health stuff myself Before I could actually see that my daughter is maturing to the point where she's interested in this thing, but she needs guidance in this thing. And I had to be mentally in a space to guide her and say, okay, I see that you are moving in this space. Let me be a resource rather than saying that you can't do it. And that was, I think kind of opened up more of a flow or a conversation. Why are you eating your sister? Why are you eating your sister? Is she good? Yeah. Yeah. Look at the beef is trying to eat people. Hey dad, hey dad. There it goes, ah! Okay, that didn't, no, okay. It was a one time thing. I got a smirk though, that's all I could, like, that's all I could ask for. But, I think that, that was, yeah, it was a profound moment, because I had to realize, like, it's not that you're trying to be rebellious. And, it's not that your child, it's not that your teenagers are trying to be rebellious to you. It's that they are look, like, I started doing some research and understanding that at your age, you are looking. At your identity, right? Your identity is not just about who I think you are, which what it used to be like. This is what my dad thinks of me. This is who I am. It became who you think of you. And then it became what does everybody else think of me? And then a part of your social construct is that like, I got to be liked. Like, I need to feel like, be, I need, like, somebody, I need to know that I'm liked outside of my dad and myself. Right. and it's not like to say, oh, you're a pick me, or you're just trying to, you know, you're just like, I need somebody to like me. But it's more so of like, understanding what affection is, what, attraction is what is relationships, what is love, like I can talk to you about it in theory, but most of your experiences has to come from going through it. And I have to start being understanding of that. It's not, you're not like, but we also have a compromise, right? Right. Yeah. Like it's not, she's not like, Oh, I'm gonna go to my boyfriend's house and hang out. Like there's compromises like, you know, You know, there's there's things that we've talked about that we have compromises on that there's there's no goes right. And as you get older, some of those no goes, you know, as we have conversations will be no longer no goes, but it'll be like, It will have constraints on them rather than no goes kind of thing. So, she's, would it be safe to say that, would it be safe to say that you, that you kind of trust that I have your interest in heart? Like, I don't remember what conversation it was, but, and this is what I talk about in my book, because it's, it's important that kids understand that their parents are looking out for them. It's not enough to just say. It's right. Do you know, like, what was it that kind of clicked for you to say, okay, my dad actually cares about my wellbeing. And he understands where I'm at, even though it's hard for him. What are, what, like, what was it that kind of clicked for you? I
Mariah:
think is whenever you were open to me being in a relationship. Like, I, like, I know, like I'll say, like, I know this is hard because like, I'm a baby girl and so it's like, you know, like you're, it seems like you're giving me away. Not like that, but like, you know, and, I was like, like, I felt like, oh, like, even though that, you know, like, I don't know. No, go ahead.
Lirec:
Say it. Say it.
Mariah:
Like, even though, like, I, I'm blanking right now. I have it in my head, but it's just not out. Like, you, yeah, I think it was whenever you were able to. Elaborate.
Lirec:
Elaborate. You have time. I can clip it. I need to.
Mariah:
You weren't, Cause I know that like me being in a relationship is like definitely hard because it's like, oh, like I'm growing up as well. No, he's fine. You wanna hold him? Yeah, I'll hold him. I don't even ask you to hold him. And I keep taking him away. Like, Realizing that I'm maturing, I know that was for sure like a hard thing, cause like, I'm pretty sure in your eyes, I'm still a baby. So it's like, whenever, and like our open conversations, it helps, like, it's like, it's like, oh, like I know you have, like, my interests, my best interests in mind. Especially cause you've been through this. So like, I'm literally going through the things that you went through, Whenever you're my age like You know,
Lirec:
yeah. Yeah. Can I have can I have the mic? I got things to say But no, I think no that that's that's very true It's very hard and to be frank. I'm not open to it, but I have to get I have to still I have to be I am I know that, and I talk about this in my book is that after, as kids develop, we also, our parents have to develop, we'll continuously develop over time. We have to develop. So, no, I understand that. I understand that. And to kind of, to be frank with you, I am not 100 percent good about it, but I, I do understand that as kids grow, Parents have to grow also. I talk about that in the book, but like we have to, we also have to mature and grow as parents with how our kids are growing. Like, it's not, it's one thing to parent you, how we were parented. And then it's another thing to parent you, how you need us to parent you. and so that bound, that's always a balance. And I think the conversation that you and I had that I, that when I started seeing a change is when I was like, Hey, I'm not against you liking someone. I'm not against you. Like, I'm not going to tell you that you cannot like someone, you know, but I can tell you that at the time when I find or see that you have demonstrated maturity about where, demonstrated maturity about where, like, being in a relationship and all this stuff, like, what shows me that you're mature is the fact that you will like someone. Come through the, the derails and sit like, you know, inside of the, the boundaries and say, Dad, I like this person. I think that, they like me back and I'm interested in seeing where it leads to, right? Like, that's a mature thing that tells me that, hey, you are maturing enough for me to be open enough for it. When you were hiding it, that showed me immaturity. Which made me also treat you immaturely. Right. and so it's been a constant thing and as like, because I'm, I'm not going to beat you for any, like, anything. Like, that's not for you to like somebody. It's all a part of human nature. There's things that are a part of human nature, but, and I know that there's a logical progression of life that I have to be mindful of as well as emotional development. So I say all that to say that I appreciate you you. Including me on this journey rather than me having to discover it and, and, and kick down doors to, to, figure out information, you know? so it's, it's a, I think back to like, let's get back to, Mr. Owen, what does, what does Mr. Owen like? What is he interested in? He's taken by the way, let's just be clear. He is taken.
Mariah:
Yeah. He's taken. how to make sure they knew, you know, what does he like? He likes working out. He likes like family time, hanging out with his family. me, of course. what else he likes playing the trumpet? see what else he likes going to stores with his mom. That's fun. Just like spending time with his mom. Yeah, that's fun.
Lirec:
Yeah. yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. What do you, so, you say that you like that he's patient, that he's kind, that he's gentle, he's in music like you are. You have some things in common, that's pretty cool. Where do you foresee this relationship going in the next f I'm joking. You don't have to answer that. You don't have to answer that. Look, I'm gonna get you out the hot seat. I'm gonna get you out the hot seat. I'm gonna go put this kid down for a nap because as you can see, he's delirious at this point. But we gonna jump up out of here. I really appreciate you guys joining us this week. Hey, Dad. Aww.
Mariah:
I think he just likes filling hair.
Lirec:
Not in his face, though. I don't know. Can you go break up upstairs real quick? He ain't gonna make it to the end of the episode.