15 MINUTES WITH DAD

Mastering the Art of Co-Parenting: 7 Powerful Post-Divorce Strategies to Build a Child Centered Relationship

May 09, 2024 Lirec & Mariah Williams Episode 18
Mastering the Art of Co-Parenting: 7 Powerful Post-Divorce Strategies to Build a Child Centered Relationship
15 MINUTES WITH DAD
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15 MINUTES WITH DAD
Mastering the Art of Co-Parenting: 7 Powerful Post-Divorce Strategies to Build a Child Centered Relationship
May 09, 2024 Episode 18
Lirec & Mariah Williams

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Navigating the co-parenting landscape can feel like trekking through an emotional minefield, but it doesn't have to be that way. Join us as we reveal transformative strategies for turning co-parenting from a battle zone into a collaborative, child-centered alliance. Dive into the heart of communication techniques that don't just patch up differences but rebuild foundations, focusing on using "I" statements and timing discussions for maximum positivity. We'll show you how to move beyond finger-pointing and complaints, fostering a nurturing environment where your kids can flourish.

Conflicts in co-parenting are as inevitable as the changing seasons, but managing them is an art form you can master. This episode unpacks the complex triggers of co-parenting discord, from the financial to the emotional, guiding you through crafting a conflict resolution plan that puts your child's well-being first. With insights on balancing contribution beyond financial support and harnessing the power of effective communication tools, we'll offer advice on when to seek professional help and how to craft a co-parenting relationship that withstands the storms of disagreement.

Finally, we'll discuss the critical steps to create and maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship. It's not just about weathering the storm—it's about building a ship that's strong enough to sail through it. Learn how emotional intelligence, resilience, and a commitment to self-care can keep both parents and children emotionally afloat. By establishing a support network and setting consistent boundaries, you can construct a stable environment that nurtures growth and allows your family to adapt to the winds of change. Tune in to transform your co-parenting experience and embark on a journey towards a more harmonious family dynamic.

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Navigating the co-parenting landscape can feel like trekking through an emotional minefield, but it doesn't have to be that way. Join us as we reveal transformative strategies for turning co-parenting from a battle zone into a collaborative, child-centered alliance. Dive into the heart of communication techniques that don't just patch up differences but rebuild foundations, focusing on using "I" statements and timing discussions for maximum positivity. We'll show you how to move beyond finger-pointing and complaints, fostering a nurturing environment where your kids can flourish.

Conflicts in co-parenting are as inevitable as the changing seasons, but managing them is an art form you can master. This episode unpacks the complex triggers of co-parenting discord, from the financial to the emotional, guiding you through crafting a conflict resolution plan that puts your child's well-being first. With insights on balancing contribution beyond financial support and harnessing the power of effective communication tools, we'll offer advice on when to seek professional help and how to craft a co-parenting relationship that withstands the storms of disagreement.

Finally, we'll discuss the critical steps to create and maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship. It's not just about weathering the storm—it's about building a ship that's strong enough to sail through it. Learn how emotional intelligence, resilience, and a commitment to self-care can keep both parents and children emotionally afloat. By establishing a support network and setting consistent boundaries, you can construct a stable environment that nurtures growth and allows your family to adapt to the winds of change. Tune in to transform your co-parenting experience and embark on a journey towards a more harmonious family dynamic.

Support the Show.

Stay Connected with 15 Minutes with Dad:

🌐 Website: Explore additional resources and updates on our healing journey at 15MinuteswithDad.com.

📱 Follow us on Social Media:

Host

✉️ Subscribe and Share: Receive the latest episodes directly in your inbox by subscribing on our website. Don't forget to share your thoughts and experiences with the community!

🎧 Listen on Your Favorite Platforms: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Anchor, and more.

Thank you for joining us on this transformative journey! Together, we're breaking barriers and fostering a community of healing.




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Lirec:

Choose your battles. If you can't solve the money battle right now, put some things in place. Don't let it disrupt you. Stay focused. Choose your battles. You cannot please the mother of your child, but you can show up for your children, regardless on how the mother or the mother of your child or the other co-parent has perception of you. A lot of fathers get stuck in trying to prove to the person that they used to be with that they are all that the other person thought that they weren't. They're trying to pick up where they left off and show and glow up and show that person I can do what you said I can do. You left me because it is Watch me, do it. You left me because it is Watch me, do it. You're wasting your time. The person that you're talking to at that point has already threw it out the window. There's nothing that that's going to attribute to but your child. That relationship has not been developed and that is your job to develop.

Lirec:

Welcome to 15 Minutes with Dad, the ultimate resource for fathers navigating fatherhood and co-parenting journey. I am Lyric, your host, and today we're diving into some transformative strategies that can help you and your co-parents communicate better, resolve conflicts effectively and create nurturing environments for your children. If you find the topics we discussed today compelling and wish to explore them in depth, remember that all these insights and more can be found in our ebook Seven Key Steps to Navigating Co-Parenting, communication, conflict and Care. You can grab your copy and discover additional resources by visiting our website at 15minuteswithdadcom. Forward slash 18. This guide is not just a collection of tips, but a comprehensive manual to help you become the co-parent you aspire to be. So, whether you're listening at home or on your commute or anywhere in between, make sure to check out the ebook and start applying these key strategies today.

Lirec:

Now let's get started and dive into how you can transform your co-parenting journey for the better. Today, we'll cover some essential techniques that will not only improve how you talk with your co-parents, but also how you listen. Yeah, I said listen, so let's get into it. So there's some strategies for clear, positive and effective communication. That's the first step we're going to talk about in the art of communication. So I think that clear, positive and effective communication is a linchpin of successful co-parenting. It ensures that both parents are on the same page regarding their child's needs and well-being. So here are some strategies to foster this type of communication, the use of I statements. So this is something that I learned very early on. That caused a lot of issues I, I, I, I, I but in this manner, I'm going to tell you how you can use it for your betterment.

Lirec:

So focus on expressing your own feelings and needs, rather than attributing intentions or placing blame on the co-parent. For example, we could say something like I feel concerned when we don't agree on bedtime schedules, instead of you're too lenient with bedtime. You see, I use you or you don't do this enough. You know that's complaints, right, that doesn't really solve a problem, but it's like I'm worried that this is going to happen and my child is going to be affected by this. On the other side, right, you're communicating your feelings.

Lirec:

Another strategy that you can use is to be specific and direct. Ambiguity can lead to misunderstandings, so you got to be clear about what you need, why you need it and how it benefits your child. Clarity reduces confusion and makes cooperation easier. You got to be specific. Another strategy is to choose the right time and medium. You can't always just go gun-hold just because you have a thought right at the moment and just going right at the person, in whatever medium you want to, whether it be in person, just pulling up on them and yelling at them and screaming at them. You got to choose the right time and medium to discuss. So discuss important matters when both of you are least likely to be stressed and distracted.

Lirec:

Decide whether a conversation is best to have over the phone, in person or via email. I think email is like a lost art, but it works, considering the topic's sensitivity. If things are a lot more sensitive, you probably don't want to write it down. You probably don't want to do it via email. You probably want to have a conversation. You probably don't want to do it over the phone if it's going to cause some disruption to the other person. Meet at a public place and have a conversation over food. Food usually calms everything. Just meet somewhere or talk at a right time at the right medium in a way where the conversation can be best had. And it's up to you to kind of figure that out. But you got to take a moment to actually figure that out. You can't just go gun hole pulling up on somebody.

Lirec:

Like I said before, the next strategy for clear and positive, effective communication is to practice positive reinforcement. I think this is hard for a lot of people to do and this podcast is not about woman bashing, but I know that coming from that as a father, coming from an age of being raised by a single mother, and a lot of these mothers that are coming up in this day and age tend to think that they have to mother their significant other, or even mother the father of their child and practicing positive reinforcement not the mother I'm sorry, the father of their child, but practice positive reinforcement. This here is probably the most effective way to get a positive communication and effective communication Acknowledge and appreciate the effort and strengths of your co-parent. Positive reinforcement can encourage more cooperative behavior and a better co-parent. Positive reinforcement can encourage more cooperative behavior and a better co-parenting atmosphere.

Lirec:

And from the men's side, I am on a part of over 30 to 45 different fatherhood groups that are out there on Facebook and what I can tell you for sure is that there's a lot of complaints about how bad their mother is, and I know there are bad mothers out there. There are bad fathers out there. But I mostly want to talk about how we focus so much on the negative of the other person, because it benefits to store it in narrative when we're going to court, when it's getting ugly and battle and litigation and all that stuff. But when you're talking about co-parenting, this is not legal advice. This is specifically how to be impactful to your child positively by co-parenting, because that person that you're co-parenting with is going to be in your life for the rest of your life, so you might as well make it a positive experience, right?

Lirec:

I think it took me a long time. It took me a long time to really adjust or grow up, even to be able to communicate better with the mother of my child. We fought literally about every single solitary thing. We'll call for one thing and fight about a whole other thing, and I know a lot of you out there are doing that. But it took some time to grow, and so what I'm telling you now is things that I've learned over the last 15 years of co-parenting with the mother of my daughter, and so I said those four things for strategies for clear, positive and effective communication is to use I statements in a format. I feel concerned when we don't agree on bedtime schedules as an example.

Lirec:

Two be specific and direct. Leave no room for ambiguity. You don't have to talk in code. Talk in specificity. The next one was choose the right time and medium. Don't pull up and run up on somebody whenever you feel like you should do it, because you have the thought in your head it's not going to make a difference, right? And the last one was practice positive reinforcements. Appreciate and acknowledge the strengths and efforts of your co-parents. You don't have to harp on the things that they do wrong. They know what they do wrong. Telling them what they do wrong does not get you what you would like to have, and that's impacting your child positively.

Lirec:

This co-parenting is not for you only, it's for your child as well. So let's talk about the other side of the communication part, and this is active listening and empathy. This is hard right. Active listening to somebody that you no longer want to be with, that has made you angry to you or I'm going to have empathy for your situation. But it is almost vital to communicating and being impactful to your child is that you are actively listening and showing empathy to your co-parents. They're crucial to creating a supportive co-parenting relationship.

Lirec:

This involves truly hearing what the other person is saying and trying to understand their perspective, even if you disagree. Even if you disagree, active listening means listening to understand, not to reply. It involves paying full attention. Reply it involves paying full attention, nodding and using phrases like I understand to show you are engaged. Repeat back what you've heard to confirm understanding before responding to your thoughts. Active listening is difficult. It's an art form. It is a practice you have to put in place and you have to try to do it. We all have our opinions and, especially when it comes to our kids, we want our perspective to be seen and understood. But if you don't validate your co-parent's perspective, it's always going to be a fight.

Lirec:

By saying the words OK, I understand why you would say that. Yeah, yeah, I get that. It makes sense why you would say that? Because would say that too if I was in a situation. Have I seen it your way? I get that. Yeah, for sure, right. And then you partner that with empathy. When you try to see things from your co-parent's perspective and try to understand their feelings and viewpoints can help you navigate disagreements more smoothly and find compromises. That respects both perspectives. And when I say that, I mean that when you validate, you show that. Yo, I understand what you're saying. I get it, I totally get it. Yeah, I've done that before too. I felt that way too, and then, when you go to rebuttal, you can say, okay, well, here's the middle ground In order for us to accommodate your concerns and my concerns. How about we find this middle ground?

Lirec:

Implementing active listening and empathy can transform challenging conversations into opportunities for connections and understanding, laying a stronger foundation for your co-parenting relationship. Challenging conversations into opportunities for connections and understanding, laying a stronger foundation for your co-parenting relationship. So like, let's get into the last part of effective communication, and that's establishing regular communication routines. Communication routines can prevent misunderstandings and ensure both parents are up to date on their child's life. Here are some tips to establish these routines Schedule check-ins, use a shared calendar, use written summaries if you need to, and create an emergency plan. You got to agree on how to communicate in the case of emergencies. Knowing how to share emergency information quickly, effectively in such situations can alleviate stress and ensure your child's safety and well-being. By embracing these strategies, tools and approaches, co-parenting communication can become more productive, less stressful and more rewarding. The goal is to create a stable and loving environment for your child, where the focus is on their well-being above all. With clear, positive and effective communication, active listening, empathy and regular routines, you and your co-parent can navigate the complexities of co-parenting with grace and cooperation.

Lirec:

Now, moving on to our second major point, and it's how we navigate conflict. Conflict is absolutely inevitable. You're going to always run into it, but when you handle it correctly, it can lead to greater understanding and cooperation. We're going to discuss some strategies for approaching conflicts constructively and how to use disagreement as stepping stones to a stronger co-parenting relationship. So what is conflict? Conflict is essentially a struggle to find balance, whether it be financial, whether it be parenting time, legal battles, all that. That is all conflict when you're co-parenting, when you're co-parenting.

Lirec:

So the first thing I want to talk about is to recognize the triggers, recognize the things that trigger you and your co-parents and call them out right. Recognizing triggers you're aware you build awareness around something. You can actually make a plan to solve it. And most of us, when we endure conflict, a lot of us are dealing with it in court battles or dealing with it in needs of the child that the mother's concerns are, and maybe it's another person in your child's life, maybe it's a school, maybe your children are acting up, maybe it's your finances and you can't take care of yourself because you're spending all your money on the children that you created, or maybe your child support system has ran you through the ringer and you just can't figure it out. Recognize those triggers. I know that all of those are triggers because I've talked to many fathers that have experienced all of those. I've experienced some of those, but let's talk about how to make these situations manageable.

Lirec:

My first thing is specifically geared around recognizing the triggers. The next one minimizes your problem by making you choose your battles. Your battle isn't always just about money. It's about the relationship with your children and even if sometimes you cannot spend money, but showing up is the most important thing. Choose your battles, like I said, finding non-financial ways to contribute to your children's lives, such as dedicating quality time during the weekends with them or offering emotional support. Choose your battles. If you can't solve the money, battle right now.

Lirec:

Put some things in place, no-transcript in trying to prove to the person that they used to be with, that they are all that the other person thought that they weren't. They're trying to pick up where they left off and show and glow up and show that person I can do what you said I can do. You left me because it is. Watch me do it. You left me because it is watch me do it. You're wasting your time. The person that you're talking to at that point has already threw it out the window. There's nothing that that's going to attribute to but your child. That relationship has not been developed and that is your job to develop and, like I said before in the previous strategy, to use effective communication tools. Active, listen, speaking calmly, focusing on solutions that's how you manage conflict.

Lirec:

The thing that helped me most manage my conflict was focusing on the solution. Anytime the mother of my daughter wanted to bring up how terrible of a person she think I am, how crappy of a father she want to make me out to be, I simply took that power of her being able to disrupt me by calling me out of my name the whole nine yards by specifically saying I don't care, you can say what you want my child. I'm picking up my child. She wants to spend time with me. I want to spend time with her. We're about to develop this relationship. Are you going to stand in front of it? Are you going to sit here and I mean, are you going to get out the way and so I can go and do this thing, or are you going to prohibit me from doing it and want to sit here and talk trash about me. We could do that all day, but at the end of the day, I still got to be a parent to my child. It wasn't until I understood that did I really become the father that I want. Did I start becoming the father that I wanted to be?

Lirec:

This next one is a big one, because a lot of fathers have pride, but I urge you to seek professional help when you need it, and when I say professional help, I'm specifically talking about legal, financial mediators. Like figure out what it is that you need to do and what system you need to have in place professionally to make sure that you're able to talk in the court system the way you need to. You need to know how to talk legal. If you don't know how to talk legal, hire somebody that can talk legal. That'll be paramount in the way that you talk and get the system to work better in your favor. You got to know the system. If you're not willing to read the family law book, get somebody who does understand the family law book and know the judges.

Lirec:

My next strategy is establish a conflict resolution plan. This is the thing the Bible that you both agreed upon. That are steps for handling disputes and a structured approach to resolving issues. This might involve setting specific times to discuss financial matters, using a third-party mediator for contentious topics, or agreeing not to discuss financial disputes in front of the children. It can range from what time you pick them up, who's picking them up, what location, from what location, what time. All that good stuff. Keep your child's well-being at the focal point. That is probably the most vital part Above all prioritizing your child's well-being Despite the financial and legal challenges.

Lirec:

Make sure you find a way to ensure that the children still feel loved and supported by both parents. That means possibly shielding them from conflicts and focusing on the positive aspect of co-parenting, but either way, make sure that you are focused on the well-being of the child, because that is what the whole shebang of co-parenting is about, right? So, when it comes to those problems rooted in financial stress, employ some strategies of effective communications, active listening, focusing on solutions. Make sure you establish a plan, recognizing your triggers. Choose your battles. Those things are meticulous ways that you can navigate your conflict by managing the actual conflict, instead of getting enthralled in the conflict and you're acting out of your nature in order to prove to somebody that won't be proven to by choice. She refuses, or they refuse to listen because they already didn't exit out of the relationship. They don't want anything to come out of that. They want to protect their own sanity, protect their own relationship with the child, and you have to do the same thing. But how do you navigate that? You have to find a common ground, regardless.

Lirec:

As we continue to explore these essential strategies for successful co-parenting, I want to take a quick moment to remind you that all the insights we're discussing today are detailed in my ebook Seven Key Steps to Navigating Co-Parenting Communication, conflict and Care. If any of the topics we've covered so far resonate with you, or if you're seeking a deeper understanding and more comprehensive tools to enhance your co-parenting journey, this free ebook is for you. You can find it, along with a wealth of other resources, on our website at 15minuteswithdadcom forward slash 18. That's 15minuteswithdadcom forward slash 18. Forward slash 18. It's designed to guide you step-by-step through each key area of co-parenting, from mastering communication to managing stress, setting boundaries. Make sure to grab your copy to have these valuable insights at your fingertips.

Lirec:

Now let's jump back into our discussion and continue to uncover more ways you can build a stronger, more harmonious co-parenting relationship. Ways you can build a stronger, more harmonious co-parenting relationship. Next up, we focus on a crucial aspect of often overlooked mental health. Both your mental health and that of your co-parent play a pivotal role in how effectively you can parent together. We'll explore ways to support each other's well-being, ensuring the stress and the personal struggles do not spill over into your parenting responsibilities to your children.

Lirec:

Make sure that you are recognizing and addressing impact. When something that could obviously create a psychological atmosphere or emotional sensitive atmosphere at home, kids may internalize their parents' stress, leading to anxiety, behavioral challenges, behavioral changes or academic difficulties. Be aware of that potential impact and try to mitigate these risks by fostering open and supportive communication with the family. So that leads me to my first point. In recognizing that, addressing and addressing the impact, you want to have open and age-appropriate communication with your child. You have to reassure them that they're loved and there's a commitment of emphasizing and changing the aspect of a relationship despite all the uncertainties, teaching resilience through example. Sometimes you got to solve your problem-solving strategies and efforts to find a new way to navigate. You got to model that perseverance and positive thinking. This is not only teaches the children valuable life skills but also reinforces their sense of security and hope.

Lirec:

And I'll say this again you must seek help, get professional guidance on how to navigate your children. And we'll talk about this more often than not in this podcast, because on May 3rd I am releasing the first episode. I am dropping the new series, dad's Lighthouse, where I bring professionals on to talk about family navigation, child growth, mental health, mental empowerment all of that good stuff. But it's important that you seek support, consider counseling for yourself and your children when things heavy change right. It's important that you create a stability with your routine. Try to keep everything from being upheaved, even though you are having problems. That means mealtime activities and bedtimes, making sure that stays, at least as a sense of normalcy and predictability for your children. Any crazy disruption can cause your child to start internalizing, asking why going through a whole disrupted experience based on what people that are her caregivers are going through? Make sure you dads prioritize self-care and emotional health. You can't.

Lirec:

Your capacity of being a father and being positive is literally limited limited to how strong your self-care practices are and your resilience and your emotional state. And the lastly I'll say is foster optimism and flexibility. You want to have some kind of positive attitude towards challenges and embody optimism and adaptability. You can pass this on to your children in every moment by simply teaching them to value flexibility and find happiness amidst adversity. Let's move on.

Lirec:

You got to have some co-parenting. You got to focus on your co-parenting well-being as well, right? So you got to, like I said before, self-care practices. You want to engage in activities that replenish your energy and bring you joy, whether it's a hobby, exercise, meditation, simply reading a book. Dedicating time to activities that focus on your well-being is crucial. You want to create a support network. Women are usually good at this right. Women usually have a support network, but fathers we usually don't. So you want to lean on friends and family strategically and support groups who understand your situation. Sharing your experience and feelings with others who can offer empathy and advice can be incredibly therapeutic. Set this multiple times and I'm going to keep on saying it seek professional help. You want to make healthy lifestyle choices mindfulness and meditation. You want to spend time finding peace and balance in your life. Finding peace and balance in your life.

Lirec:

And the next one is setting boundaries. If you can establish healthy boundaries with your co-parent, you can prevent resentment and conflict while protecting your emotional well-being. Those are strategies for co-parent well-being, mental health and the ones I said before, like open age, appropriate communication, teaching resilience through experience. The importance of seeking support, creating stability with routine and prioritizing self-care. Fostering optimism and flexibility is for the children.

Lirec:

Another vital area we will cover today involves setting boundaries. It's about creating clear expectations and mutual respect. Setting and respecting boundaries can drastically reduce co-parenting conflict and help both of you feel more comfortable in your roles as co-parenting. Now how do we establish healthy boundaries? The first thing you got to do is define your boundaries clearly. You want to identify what boundaries are necessary for your well-being and a healthy co-parenting relationship. Be as specific as you need to be to get your needs and expectations met.

Lirec:

Now the next part is that you have to communicate these boundaries with respect we talked about in the first part, by using I statements to express your needs without assigning blame. Share your boundaries with your co-parenting in a clear, assertive and respectful manner. Some way that I would do this is look if you're going to do that. If you're going to choose to do that, then I have, I'm going to do this, this is what I'm going to do and, you know, is there a way that we can find a middle ground? But doing that it makes me concerned and I feel like I cannot accomplish the thing that I want to accomplish for my child. So I'm going to say, if you do that, then I'm going to just do this, being assertive, clear and being respectful. Part is seeking agreement.

Lirec:

While not all boundaries may be met with agreement, strive for a mutual understanding that respects each person's needs and concerns. Compromise where possible, keeping the children's best interest at heart. This is difficult to do for most parents because it's my, my, my, my. That's inconvenient, that's inconvenient. I need to do this, you need to do this, you need to go further, you need to do more, because I'm already doing this. There's no middle ground there.

Lirec:

Right and the most, a really big part and this is for the child more than anything to create a stable environment for the child is to implement consistency. You want to be consistent. You want to implement your boundaries consistently. Show consistency so that you can uphold your agreed upon boundaries and respect those set by your co-parents. Reinforcing a predictable and stable environment is vital for your children and being able to adjust as needed so as your children grow and circumstances change, be open to revisiting and adjusting boundaries. Effective co-parenting requires flexibility and adaptation, as every year the child grows past nine, they become a different person. They become a whole different person with different needs and different requirements, and it's important that your co-parenting boundaries are able to fluctuate with that as well.

Lirec:

If you haven't set boundaries or don't know what kind of boundaries, I'll give you a few key boundaries communication, parenting time, financial contributions, personal space. You want to make sure you create a regular schedule for communication on how you communicate, streamline communication and keep records if you need to. Parenting time this is holiday, school events, vacations. Recognizing contributions like what is if there's financial tension, like how do y'all adjust to that, how do you adjust and how do you address that? And giving each other personal space, respect each other's personal space and time, committing not to intrude on each other's homes, personal life, without prior agreement. It's almost like a lease y'all, but you have to. Over time, the positive impact of these boundaries will become evident. You'll find clarity and structure that they provide that reduce conflicts and misunderstanding. So just try it out. Just try to create some form of setting boundaries.

Lirec:

Our fifth area of focus today is talking about creating a collaborative parenting plan. This plan isn't just a schedule. It's a comprehensive agreement, a contract even, that covers all aspects of your parenting partnership, from financial responsibilities to decision-making processes. A well-crafted parenting plan can be a game changer in managing expectations and simplifying co-parenting. So we're going to talk about what is in the essence of a collaborative parenting plan. It's like a testament on mutual dedication of both parents to navigate co-parenting with respect, understanding and cooperation.

Lirec:

A couple key points identify your core values and goals. Like I always like to start with identifying the core values and goals for both parents so that you can put it out front. What are my priorities for education, health, emotional well-being, etc. The next is outline your parenting time schedule, which will be a very vital part. A third part would be to discuss and allocate responsibilities by clearly delineating responsibilities regarding the children's education, healthcare and extracurricular activities and day-to-day care. Consider creating a decision-making process for addressing future changes and disagreement. The fourth part would be plan for financial contribution right, that's talking about financial stuff towards education, especially extracurricular activities, expenses on different accounts, whatever that may be, and make sure you incorporate communication guidelines. This is what we talked about when we talk about setting boundaries. This is where you do that, like agree on how and when communication regarding the children will take place, and make sure that you include some flexibility for changes to happen, because changes will happen.

Lirec:

Lastly, we tackle the importance of fostering a positive environment for your children's growth. This means nurturing a home life that supports their emotional and psychological development, ensuring that, despite the challenges of a co-parenting, your child feels secure and loved. And this is probably the most vital part of this conversation, because we get it wrong a lot when I say we. We get it wrong. We, as parents, get it wrong a lot. Maintain an open line of communication with your children. Encourage them to express their feelings, fears and aspirations freely. This communication can be nonjudgmental and supportive, and it helps foster a sense of safety and trust.

Lirec:

Incorporate positive reinforcements. Make sure you celebrate your children's achievements and positive behavior with praise. This encourages them to continue those behaviors and builds their self-esteem. Another major one is make sure that you're modeling positive behavior. You can't be out there ratcheting these streets. Children learn by example, so by treating each other with respect and kindness, co-parents set a standard for behavior that their children will emulate. This includes managing conflicts in healthy ways and demonstrating resilience in the face of challenges.

Lirec:

Be supportive in co-parenting relationship. Find a mutual respect. This may take time, but find consistency across household, whether it be rules, discipline, routines. Find that middle ground. Your child needs stability or this is where they become delinquents out there in the world, because they don't have the correct guidance, because their parents aren't good examples. Get involved with their school and extracurricular activities, regardless on your status with the co-parent. Show up to their events, things that they're excited about. Go, be involved, be overly involved. Be so involved that the child gets annoyed that you're so involved, but they're going to fill it as love over time. Overdo it. Be there, regardless of who says what, whatever that looks like, just show up.

Lirec:

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