19: 7 Signs He Might Be "The One"

Are you tired of spending time, energy, and emotion in relationships that are not going anywhere? Have you ever wondered if the person you're with is truly "the one" God has planned for you? In this episode, I share the seven signs he might be "the one." If you are ready to be positioned to feel more confident in the one you are with, this episode is for you!

Top reasons to listen to the entire episode:

• Discover how to know if he is "the one".
• Learn practical ways to prepare for love.
• Find out if he is as invested as you are.

Mentioned Bible Verses

1 John 4:18

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Episode 2: Build Your Village

Episode 18: 7 Signs He's Into You

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

There's a question I get asked all the time. How do I know if he's the one? Knowing that who we marry is really the second most important decision we're going to make in our lives and the second most impactful decision we can make in our lives. The first is being receiving Jesus as our Lord and Savior. That's a decision we get to make. Do we receive him as our Lord and Savior or not? And then who we marry is the second most impactful thing we can ever experience. So I've recorded this episode to help you to look for the signs about whether or not he is the one. Have you come to the point in your life where doing that work, church, home repeat just isn't working for you anymore, and you know there's got to be more to life than this, then girl, you've come to the right place. I'm Kimberly Knight, and this is the Position Podcast. As a certified coach, consultant, author, and speaker, I've had the privilege of helping women to position themselves for success in life, love, and business. So if you're ready for some wisdom wrapped up in a little bit of girlfriend, join me and other experts each week as we give you the conversation coaching and keys you need to take you to your next steps. Welcome to the Position Podcast. I am your host, Kimberly Knight, and today we will be continuing our seven signs series. Today's topic is how to know if he is the one. Yes, I get asked that question in my group for single ladies all the time. When I tell you all the time, without fail, every single cohort has asked me this question. So I thought it would be a great time to give you seven possible signs that he might be the one. Sign number one that he possibly could be the one is that you have ongoingly consulted with and heeded, you did heed, you listened to your accountability partner and your village. And they agree he's a good match for you. And your village might include your parents, your best friends, your accountability partners, your spiritual leadership. That's just some of the people who may be in your village, right? If you don't have a village or you don't know how to build your village, I'm going to leave a link in the show notes to that episode. Now that said, of course, we want to be very mindful of who we have in our village and who we take our counsel from, but you do need counsel. This is not something that you do alone. All right, number two, here is the second sign that he might be the one. You've prayed about this relationship and its future, and you have peace. Now, when I say praying for it or about it, that means relinquishing the result. So it doesn't mean that we pray, oh Lord, make him the one. No, Lord, is this man good for me? Is this relationship going to be beneficial to myself, to our futures, to the kingdom? So we don't give God the answer we want. We wait on the answer to see what he says. Y'all know if you've been listening to me for a while, I do not believe that God tells you to marry a specific person. I think that is very rare. I think for most of us, when we do that, we're trying to relinquish our responsibility in our decision. And I do believe, though, that Father will show you if it's a good match, father will show you if it's beneficial, father will show you if it's healthy if you ask and wait on an answer. So be brave enough to wait on an answer. All right. Number three, so here is the third sign that he might be the one is that you feel safe with him. And I mean totally safe, physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and financially. First John 4.18 says that perfect love casts out fear. And that word perfect there is translated as complete. Complete love casts out fear. And when it's complete, it also is translated as the consummate version of human virtue and integrity. So ask yourself: is your relationship with him virtuous? Does he operate in integrity with you and others? And here's the flip side of that. You also need to ask when I'm in this relationship with him, am I virtuous? Am I in integrity with him and with others? See, this is an important decision. So we want to take our time and really dive deep and ask ourselves the questions and wait for answers and be truthful with ourselves. Number four, the fourth sign that he might be the one is that you're equally yoked. And when I say equally yoked, I'm not only talking about your faith. I'm also talking about that you agree on the major aspects of life and relationship. So in a past episode, I talked about a couple that had to break off their engagement because one of them wanted children and the other one did not. That's major, right? So they're not equally yoked in that area. That is a major life area that really needs agreement. Hand in hand with being equally yoked in your faith is not just that you both are Christians, but also that you have similar or complementary practices. So if one of you believes in, let's say, tithing and the other one doesn't, I am going to tell you that it's going to be a major issue when money gets tight. And as I've said before, money issues cause more divorces than infidelity. So you want to be sure that you're in agreement in those areas, even in your faith. That said, you want to look at the other major components of your life. Just as I said about making sure that you feel safe with him. Number five, the fifth sign that he may be the one is that your core values are respected and you respect his. That said, they don't have to be the same, but they do have to be complementary. So if one of your values is generosity in giving, and one of his values isn't generosity, can he respect it? Does it cause a lot of fights? If one of your core values is attending church every week and he only goes on major holidays, can you all operate around that? How are you going to handle that when it comes to children? See, these things are very practical. And I believe when you're positioning yourself for love, as I teach in my group, you want to look at all these things because it's not whether or not the two of you are feeling the butterflies, right? Sometimes actually that butterfly might be indigestion, but that's a whole other episode. Um you also want to make sure that you're not just feeling the emotions, but that your practical pieces make sense, that they fit, that they're workable, and that you're having the discussions because you are two different people. You're coming from two different places and spaces with different backgrounds, education, experiences, and you want to make sure that they complement each other. So have the discussions and don't be in denial about the answers. The opposites attract theory works really well on the romance channel. But have you ever noticed that after the opposites attract and they have that kiss at the end, we never see that the ever after is happily. We just assume that there's a happily ever after. Right? So meeting someone and getting engaged and going through the wedding is a totally different thing than having a thriving marriage that appreciates and experiences longevity. I want you to get married until death to you part, until Father calls one of you home. And that means making sure that we, as much as possible, do our due diligence with the practical stuff. So that said, here's another sign that he might be the one, number six, and of course, very practical. Is he as invested in the relationship as you are? So if you haven't listened to the episode about whether he's really into you, please go back and listen to it. I'll leave the link in the show notes. It's going to provide you a lot of clarity. You want to know if he's as invested in the relationship as you are. I have seen ladies who are dating someone who's not dating them. Huh? Have you ever seen that? Where she is totally into him. She is being faithful to a relationship and loyal to a relationship that doesn't exist from his end. So we want to make sure that there is equal investment. I recently saw a couple that got engaged, and it was more like they had dated for a long time. I'm talking more than a decade. And he he made uh, you know, a big show out of the engagement, but he literally ended it with saying, Here, you got your ring. Are you satisfied? And then he laughed. Hmm. A lot of truth is told in jest. The whole demeanor with which he delivered that and then walked off told me a lot about how he felt about getting engaged and about, you know, the possibility of their future marriage. It was really off-putting to me. And yeah, I had a lot of calls on it. It was very telling. So you want to be sure that he is as invested in the relationship as you are. The seventh sign that he might be the one is that you don't wait until the wedding to read 1 Corinthians 13. You know, that's that famous scripture we all read at the wedding vows, right? You'll hear it all the time. Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous or boastful or proud, right? So that's that scripture that's always read at weddings. And sometimes I'm sitting at the wedding going, honey, I've been privy to your relationship. I don't know if we can say all that about Mr. Man. So before we get to the altar, let's replace the word love with his name and see if these attributes of love are true about this man, because that's a sign that he might be the one. So let's practice. It would go something like this: 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 7 in the New Living Translation. I would say, James is patient and kind. James is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. James does not demand his own way. He is not irritable and keeps no record of being wrong. James does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. James never gives up. James never loses faith. James is always hopeful, and James endures through every circumstance. Now that is 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4 through 7 in the New Living Translation. And again, I replaced the gentleman's name with the word love. So can you say that about him in this relationship? Can you say that about yourself in this relationship? See, the word works. The word works, right? God's word, it just works in our lives. So don't be afraid to go into the word for that sign because there's a lot in that verse that can really help you to make wise decisions. So there are the seven signs that he might be the one. And I can't wait to hear from you. So my contact information is in the show notes, and I look forward to hearing how you have used these signs to figure out for yourself if he's the one. Until next time, be wonderfully blessed. Bye now. That's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. Be sure to subscribe to the show wherever you're listening so you never miss one. I would love it if you would share the podcast with your friends, post about it on Facebook and Instagram, or leave a review. That way you can help me to bring you more great content and expert guests. Until next week, be blessed.