25: Secrets Esther Would Teach You About Finding and Keeping Your Own King

Have you always dreamt of a fairy-tale romance? Maybe you think you have found the one, but you don't have the butterflies you expected. Esther reminds us that love doesn't always come in the package we expect, and in this episode, we explore Esther's unique journey and discover how she positioned herself for greatness, making bold moves and embracing her purpose. If you're ready to navigate the path to finding your own king, grab your headphones and your Bible and tune in!

Top reasons to listen to the entire episode:

• Find out the secrets Esther would share with you about finding your own king. 
• Discover how to be a trusted advisor for your husband.
• Learn how Esther did what she had to do to accomplish her Kingdom purpose. 

Mentioned Bible Verses:

Book of Ruth

Ep 24: Secrets Ruth Would Tell You About Being Found by a Quality Man

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hey, in this episode, there is some timeless wisdom from the story of Esther that I think applies to modern relationships. So today we're going to unravel the secrets of Esther's journey to love and purpose. And I hope that you're going to gain insights that will guide you along your own unconventional path to finding and keeping your earthly king. Have you come to the point in your life where doing that work, church, home, repeat just isn't working for you anymore? And you know there's got to be more to life than this, then girl, you've come to the right place. I'm Kimberly Knight, and this is the Position Podcast. As a certified coach, consultant, author, and speaker, I've had the privilege of helping women to position themselves for success in life, love, and business. So if you're ready for some wisdom wrapped up in a little bit of girlfriend, join me and other experts each week as we give you the conversation, coaching, and keys you need to take you to your next steps. Welcome to the Position Podcast. I'm your host, Kimberly Knight. And today we're going to be talking about secrets Esther would tell you about finding your own king. Now, Esther is one of the books in the Bible that is named after women. There are only two books in the Bible that are named after women, Ruth and Esther. And if you haven't had a chance yet to check out my episode on what secrets Ruth would tell you about being found by a high-quality man, please go back and listen to that one as well. The link is in the show notes. Now with Esther, Esther was a queen. But one of the secrets she would tell you is that it might not happen the way you thought. In the time of Esther, her male guardian Mordecai would have chosen a husband for her, or at least he would have arranged a marriage for her, right? And in Esther's case, though, she participated in what was a year-long glorified beauty contest. However, we always want to be open to how things come to pass in our lives. It may not match our Cinderella dreams. It sure didn't match her Cinderella dream, right? I mean, I never in a million years thought I would meet my husband online, but here we are all these years later. So be open to how your king might come and how it might happen, especially for those of you with unique calls on your life. And Esther is one of those women with a unique call on her life. That being said, uncommon women are going to have uncommon experiences. So it may not look like you thought, it may not look like your friends, it may not look like your parents, but it doesn't mean it's not glorifying God. So don't miss out on what is there for you because it didn't come the way you thought it would. Oh, that's a word for somebody. Take it and run. All right, number two, the second secret that Esther would tell you about your own king is that you have to understand his purpose, right? So the thing about understanding his purpose is men who are leaders, men who are powerful, men who have responsible positions, you share them with the world. Now, and when I say that, I'm not talking about infidelity, that's not at all what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is his purpose becomes part of your life as well. And if he has a responsible position, he is a leader, he is a pastor, he is a business owner. He's not always going to be available to you at the drop of a dime. Now, I mean, you should be able to count on him, he should be coming home every night. You know, I'm not talking about those things. I'm talking about you share him with the world, you share his purpose with other people, and you've got to be prepared for that. Because there are sometimes a king is going to be required to be places and spaces that aren't convenient for you. So you've got to understand his purpose. You need to understand your purpose and how they fit together. Now, if you look at Esther, what's really interesting about her is that part of her purpose, which she didn't know at the time she got married, that's another word for somebody. Part of her purpose was to save the lives of her people. And she was positioned, as Mordecai told her, for such a time as this. She had the ear of the king, and she was positioned for such a time as this. So her purpose was linked to his purpose, and she was able to do great things. Hallelujah. Here's another secret you should think about that Esther would share with you about finding your own king. When you're positioning yourself for your own king, this leader, this successful man, this high-quality man, you want to keep in mind that you're going to have to make some bold moves of your own. Understand that because he's in a position of power, it is going to put you into a unique position as well. And you're going to have to practice wisdom. You're going to have to make some bold moves. Here was a girl who was probably, you know, sheltered. At that time, you know, women didn't have careers. She was in marrying age, so she would have been looking forward to marrying and having children and staying in her village probably her whole life. But now she's the king's wife. And, you know, his kingdom was vast. So she went from this little country girl under the tutelage of her cousin, and she became the queen of the land. So when you're positioning yourself for love, when you're positioning yourself for your king for this powerful man, keep in mind it's going to require you to do some things that you haven't done in the past. Be ready for that. I always hear ladies say, you know, they want a high-quality man, they want a high-earning man. High-earning men have wives that can handle that. So while you're asking God to bring this person into your purview, also ask him to increase your capacity to handle him, his responsibilities, and all the people, places, and things that are attached to him. Here's another secret that Esther would share with you about finding your own king. And it goes hand in hand with what I just said too. You have to be of wise counsel. You have to be. Your husband is going to ask you things. He's going to ask you for your advice. You're going to be in rooms, spaces, and places and introduced to people and things that normally you wouldn't have access to prior to the marriage. So you want to make sure that the counsel you're giving him is wise. Girls, I know this is not a popular opinion, but this is true. There are a lot of biblical stories as well as stories just in our lives that we have seen this play out. Pillow talk is powerful and it can build and destroy kingdoms. The word says that the wrong woman will bring a man to a crust of bread. In other words, having the wrong woman in a man's life can completely destroy him and all he's called to do. So we want to make sure that we are the wise wives who build their houses and not the foolish ones who pluck it down with their own hands. Again, I say hallelujah and praise the Lord. So while you're praying to position yourself for love, while you're praying for this king to come into your life, please pray that not only that you increase your capacity to handle his life and his purpose, but also that you are of wise counsel to this man, that you won't lead him away from the things of God or be destructive to his purpose. And vice versa. You don't want him to be destructive to yours either. Hallelujah. Okay. Here's something else that Esther would tell you. Esther knew how to present things to her king. She knew how to talk to him. When we see her wanting to talk to the king about saving her people, what we see is not her running into the throne room, yelling and screaming and going, Oh my gosh, this man is trying to kill us all. And um, he's terrible, and why would you have him in your employee? And you think he's a wise man and he's not a wise man, he's trying to kill us. And she didn't do that. Instead, what she did was she said, Come to a banquet. Come, my king, come to a banquet and sit with me, dine with me. And by the way, bring Haman, your trusted advisor. In other words, she fought like a girl. I love it. She fought like a girl. And because of that, again, she positioned herself to save her people. Keep in mind that even though he's your husband, you want to respect the fact that the timing and the way that you approach him is important. She made sure that he was comfortable, that his belly was full, that he was relaxed, and that he was in a semi-private environment. In other words, she picked the right environment to have that conversation. So we want to have wisdom here, ladies. And by the way, share this with your married sisters too, because some of us, you know, just because he's our husband, doesn't release us to speak to him any kind of way. We do have to respect the fact that he may need some space and place. You may need to pick and choose how and when you say certain things. This was really a struggle for me, a big struggle. And sometimes your girl has to pull herself in still all this years later. But hey, I'm a work in progress just like you. And I will tell you what has really helped me, and this may not work in your relationship. So govern yourself accordingly. But one of the things is if I know I have something of substance that I want to talk to my husband about, I'll say to him, I want to talk to you about XYZ. Is this a good time? Most of the time he'll say yes. And some of the times he'll say, No, I'm tired or I'm inundated. If it's an emergency, he'll always listen. But if it's something that, you know, it's important, but it can wait a little bit, okay, tell me when it's better for you, honey. And then I'll walk away. And then sometimes I'm feeling some kind of way about it. But I will tell you, when he comes back, and he always comes back, right? He always comes back at the appointed or agreed upon time. He'll always be in a much better mouth mood and attitude. He'll be prepared to discuss. He will share more when I approach him that way than when I just run up on him and start saying what I want to say. So, ladies, take this piece of advice because I love you. A lot of times we say, oh, he doesn't want to talk. Oh, he never talks to me. He doesn't listen. We have to make sure that we are doing it in the right time, space, and place. And also not saying things like the inflammatory, we've got to talk, air quotes. Nothing turns a man on his heels quicker than that one, right? We've got to talk. He knows it's a trap. It's just as bad as does this dress make me look fat? Girls, stop doing that to that man. That man is sweating every time you say that. So let's not put him on the spot. I have to back up one minute because this just dropped into my spirit. What is interesting about Esther preparing the banquet for the king is that the same thing that positioned her to accomplish her purpose dethroned Vashti. My, my, my, my, my. Oh, that is so good. The same thing that positioned Esther to accomplish her purpose dethroned Vashti. So Vashti was having a banquet. She was the prior queen before Esther, and the king sent for her and she refused to come. Now that's a whole Bible story in and of itself. Maybe I'll do a podcast or a Bible study on that later. But here's the point I want to make. Because she did not come, the king dethroned her and never saw her again. He issued a decree that she would never come before him again. So her banquet dethroned her. Esther's banquet positioned her. So I want to remind you again, things may not happen for you the way they've happened for your friends. Things that in your relationship may actually set you up for success might actually be destructive to your friends. So never base your relationship on their experiences. That'll preach. Okay. Last thing I think Esther would share with you about finding your own king is that you have to be gracious. You have to be gracious. The king would be entertaining powerful people. And again, kings don't always act kingly, but we should be gracious and leave the results to the Lord. I am telling you, no one will fight your battle better than he. Here's the thing when Mordecai sent word to her about what was going on with the Jews and that they would be destroyed. She said, I will fast for three days with my maidens, ask the people to do the same. And if I perish, I perish. If I perish, I perish. She was prepared to do what she had to do to meet her purpose, but she also understood that she had to do it the right way. She also understood that she had to be gracious. She also understood that she was putting herself in a position that may not have turned out the way she thought. Hmm. Very interesting. But we also see her making this move on wise counsel. We also see her making this move on fasting and prayer. We also see her making this move. You know, Mordecai was her wise counselor, and she was able to call for backup. You've got to have some wise friends you can call to fast and pray with you. I've got some wise friends I could call to pray with me. And I know you're listening to this, and I'm thanking you for that. I don't take that lightly. This woman understood the graciousness that was required of her. And the same thing that deposed the prior queen set her up. She knew how to approach this man. This was a man of war. You can't run up on him like every other man. He's accustomed to having a fight. He's probably pretty rough. I know we have romanticized his story, but he's probably a pretty rough dude, right? She knew how to be feminine. She knew how to address him in a way that allowed for his masculinity. And she knew that part of that was getting before God and trusting him for the outcome. My God. Ladies, I can tell you, and I just had this discussion with someone, sometimes our husbands can do things in ways that we don't necessarily agree. But when you get married and you submit to his leadership, that's a whole other show. Okay, you submit to his leadership. Your first trust is in God. Your first trust goes to God. So I want to add that to what Esther would say. Trust God. Even if he's a little rough, even if he's a fighter, and I'm not talking about abuse, I'm talking about, you know, he's just very testosterone happy. Okay. Learn to trust God. Have your faith in him. That even when this man doesn't necessarily make the decisions the way we would like them, that in your graciousness and in your femininity, you'll be able to handle it by the grace of God and his covering and protection. So those are the secrets that I think Esther would share with you about finding your own king. I would love to hear from you. So be sure to contact me, like and share this podcast, and I'll be with you again next week. Until then, be wonderfully blessed. Bye now. That's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. Be sure to subscribe to the show wherever you're listening so you never miss one. I would love it if you would share the podcast with your friends, post about it on Facebook and Instagram, or leave a review. That way you can help me to bring you more great content and expert guests. Until next week, be blessed.