27: Secrets the Proverb 31 Woman Would Tell You About Marriage

Have you read Proverbs 31 and realized that it's a mother telling her royal son how to spot a quality woman worthy of marriage? This story can help us deduce what we can aspire to and attract our king. In this episode, I am talking about how prioritizing taking care of our household, delegating tasks, and cultivating effective communication and kindness are crucial. So, what can we learn from Proverbs 31 about choosing a partner for a successful marriage and how we can be worthy of marriage?

Top reasons to listen to the entire episode:

• Gain insights from the Proverbs 31 woman and apply them to your relationships.
• Learn and understand how to choose a quality partner. 
• Discover the balance between ambition and family.

Mentioned Bible Verses:

Episode 2: Build Your Village

Proverbs 31:10-31

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

On today's podcast, I am sharing secrets that I think the Proverbs 31 woman would tell us about marriage. This passage goes from Proverbs 31, verses 10 through 31. And what's really interesting is this is actually a mother telling her royal son, he's a king, how to spot a quality woman who is worthy of being married because she says it is rare. It is not the easiest thing to find this kind of woman. So she wanted to make sure that she spelled out what this woman would look like. So now we can deduce what we can aspire to to become her to attract our own king. Listen in. And I remember when I was younger, someone asking me what I thought about her. And I said, I think I'm exhausted. Just reading about her life. I mean, she had it all. She had a career, she had business, she had staff, she was a leader, she had a great marriage, her children loved her, she had a good reputation in the community. This woman had it all. How did she get it all done? But I do believe there are some secrets that she would tell us about marriage if we listen closely. So let's dive in. Number one, this woman chose her husband well. And I think if the Proverbs 31 woman could talk to us today, she would tell us to choose well. It says that he was known amongst the elders at the gate. In other words, he was a quality man. He was worthy of honor. People had to respect him because the town would bring them matters to decide at the gate. They would witness business transactions. They would make decisions on how to run the town. They would hold people accountable to their word. So they had to be trustworthy. They had to be wise. They had to be good quality men. They had to be rock solid in their integrity. And people had to know that and respect them in order for them to sit at the gate amongst the elders. So this also tells me that this kind of man, we can see from the rest of the passage, is also not intimidated by this woman's success. Because at the end of this passage, somewhere around verse 28, I believe, he says, Many daughters have done well, but you have excelled them all. So, in other words, he's not intimidated by her success. And I think the Proverbs 31 woman would say, When you are choosing a man, choose a man who is not going to be intimidated by your success. You don't need to dump down your vision in order to be married. That's just not true. You don't have to dump down your vision to be married. This woman didn't. If you just take a look at what she has accomplished, she's an importer and an exporter. She has staff. She's a leader. She's well known in her community. She's a property owner. It takes away all the question about whether or not a high-earning woman can get married. She can, but listen at this. She also balances that out with the law of kindness in her mouth. So I think the Proverbs 31 woman would say, go ahead, meet those goals, run your race, start the ministry, write the book, sell the product, create the product, be an influencer, do all of those things. And it says she got up early to take care of her household first. And she got together with her maids before, you know, the break of day. So in other words, she knew how to delegate. She knew how to hire people. She knew how to manage them. And she knew how to talk to them because the law of kindness was in her mouth. So this sounds like the kind of woman that would tell you, yes, I was making money and I was making good money and I was well known and I made sure I was profitable, but she didn't rub her husband's face in it. It's not making the money that's the issue, it's how we handle it. It says that she didn't have any worry about the future because she took care of the future. So she was a planner. I think she would tell you that all these things went into her husband being able to say, many have done well, but you have excelled them all because of all those attributes I just talked about. So I think all of those things went into this woman's marriage. And I think that's one of the secrets that she would share with us. The other thing I think that she would share with us about marriage is that she also chose a husband who could demonstrate his love for her. You know, in that same passage, he says to her, you know, you've done well. So he was not intimidated by her success. And he was able to share that with her. My, my, my. And not only that, okay, I'm taking a little license, but knowing family dynamics like I do, it says that the children blessed her as well. So that means that there was a household culture of honor. Everyone could recognize that this woman was doing a great job being a mom, being a wife, being an employer, a real estate mogul, all those things. She was doing a good job at it. And they had developed this culture of honor in their home so that even the children could see it. I really feel that she would also share with us something very, very interesting. I don't know if you've picked it up by now, but leaders can love too. You can love and lead at the same time. This woman did it. Deborah did it, and it just goes to show you again that you don't have to dumb down your relationship with God or your ambitions or your goals in order to be married, but she also put them in their proper place. It said that she took care of the affairs of her household well. So the ambition is not the issue. It's whether or not we can handle the ambition and not neglect our family and our marriage and the other components. And I think this woman is showing us there's a balance to that. Not only that, but I think the Proverbs 31 woman would also show you that her husband had to be emotionally healed and healthy because it says that his heart safely trusted in her. So the ability to trust speaks to him being emotionally healed, available, and healthy. Now, no person is going to be 100% because nobody is perfect. However, he was healed enough to be able to trust. So, ladies, I do believe another secret that the Proverbs 31 woman would share with us about marriage is to choose a man who still has the ability to trust or has repaired his ability to trust you. That being said, when it says that his heart safely trusts in her, it also means he recognizes her value. So she didn't just marry a high-value man, he also realized that he married a woman and had it going on, and she did have it going on. So it says that he had good discernment and that their value systems were complementary because trust and trustworthiness are complementary values. So, ladies, you want a high-quality man? Take it from this woman. I think this woman would share with you a lot of women want a high-value man. Not every woman is equipped to handle him. My my. So if we really want to have that kind of man, let's get equipped. And here's something for my married sisters, because I can, I've really, it just like dropped in my spirit that some of you are saying it's a little late. I wish I had known this before I got married. Here's the thing about the power of prayer. Prayer works when our mouths don't. So rather than saying, Oh, you didn't do this and you didn't do that, and you're not this, you're not a high-value man, and I married you. And uh, and we may not even say it to him, but you might be complaining to the Lord about it or to your friends or family, or even harboring resentment, feeling like you've missed something. I am going to encourage you to turn that into prayer and not whining, moaning, groaning, or complaining, turn it into prayer and pray in the opposite spirit. My spiritual mom taught me that. So you pray in the opposite spirit. So if you married a man who still has trust issues, but you're acting trustworthy, because if you're not acting trustworthy, he should have trust issues. That's just discernment. Mm-hmm. That's another show. Come back. All right. But if you are really trustworthy and he's having trust issues, then you begin to pray into that. You begin to declare and decree, my husband is healed emotionally and able to receive healthy love and to trust in a healthy way. Come on, you keep praying that for that man. Sooner or later, I believe that the Lord can and will answer prayer. Hallelujah. Okay. So not only did she choose him well, not only was he wise, because he was known at the gates. I mean, come on, he was known in the land. So not only did she do that, not only were their value systems complementary, not only was their household a household of honor, it tells me also that he was secure. She was leading. She was leading in the house. She was leading in the community, she was leading in business. So he had to be secure enough to let her do that. This also speaks to whether or not women have any say in their household. They absolutely do. He may be the head of the house, and you still have responsibilities. She was still running her household well. She had staff to help her. That's another thing, girls. There's nothing wrong with getting some staff. Hallelujah. I'll tell you a story. Years ago, I was with two friends. This was a long time ago. And I said, Oh my gosh, I want a housekeeper. The house has to be kept. It doesn't have to be kept by me. I can organize the tasks and delegate the task. I don't care if she touches stuff because their big thing was, oh, I don't want any other person touching my things. I don't care if she touches them as long as she doesn't steal them. This is how that Proverbs 31 woman got everything done. The dishes needed to be washed, but they did need to be washed by her. And I remember just sharing this with my friends. Oh, I don't, mm-mm, not me. Well, honey, that was not my testimony. Not only did I say that, but I made that happen to the glory of God and by his grace within a year of saying that, even though my salary at the time did not support having someone to come in and help me around the house. They never did. And I remember a few years later, my friend said, Oh man, I could use some household help. And we looked at each other and laughed. So don't be afraid to get the help because here's another thing this Proverbs 31 woman understood, and it led right into her marriage. The value of her time and energy. As I said, the dishes need to be done, but they don't need to be done by you. That can be delegated. So she had a whole bevy of support. Learn to use your village. Get a village, girls. You're going to love having that village. Get a village. If you need any help building your village, I'm going to leave a link to that show in the show notes. So these are some of the things that I think the Proverbs 31 woman would tell you about marriage. I would love to hear your insights and wisdom on this. Be sure to contact me. My link is in the show notes. Like and share the broadcast. That way I can continue to bring you more quality episodes and guests. Until next time, be wonderfully blessed. Bye now. That's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. Be sure to subscribe to the show wherever you're listening so you never miss one. I would love it if you would share the podcast with your friends, post about it on Facebook and Instagram, or leave a review. That way you can help me to bring you more great content and expert guests. Until next week, be blessed.