40: Strategic Sisterhood: The Seven Key Relationships Every Woman Needs

Embark on a journey with me as we unlock the power of strategic sisterhood. Discover the seven pivotal relationships every woman should have in her corner, from a mentor who helps you navigate the learning curves of life to the cheerleaders who amplify your victories. It's not just about making friends—it's about forging alliances that propel you towards personal triumphs and spiritual fulfillment. Every role, be it a coach, counselor, or encourager, serves a definitive purpose in crafting a life of success and contentment. I'll guide you through the nuances of these relationships and the art of choosing the right individuals to support your journey.

This episode is not just a treasure trove of wisdom; it's a call to action to cultivate and cherish the sisterhood that can shape your destiny. Tune in and let's nurture the connections that matter, for a life rich in guidance, support, and love.

Mentioned in this episode:

Podcast Episode 9 - What You Should Know Before You Hire a Coach https://apple.co/441pHWz

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi, it's Kimberly Knight with Position Podcast, and I am going to share with you today the seven women every woman needs in her life. Now, I had an opportunity over this past weekend to minister at a conference in New York and I spoke about how relationships impact our life, our success, even our relationship with God, and I wanted to share some of my notes with you. So here are the seven women that I feel every woman should have in her life. Let's hit it. Number one every woman needs a mentor. Oh, my gosh. Now let me give you the definition of some of these things, because I think one of the things that we have done is we call everybody a air quotes friend. Everybody is not your friend and every smiling face is not for you. That's another episode. I might come back and do that one, but I want to give you some working definitions so that you can understand what is and is not for you. Okay, so when we talk about a mentor, a mentor is a trusted advisor whose wisdom helps you to navigate your life by sharing their life and experience, and much of the influence and the power of this relationship is in the time and the outpour, the virtue that's poured in. Now, a mentor, honestly, can cut your learning curve by decades. So my mentor taught me a lot of things over the course of our 25-year relationship that I taught to the older girls that I mentored in about 10. Now here's the thing After a while I'm able to dial this down so that I could create a coaching program with the things that I've learned, and it doesn't take these women nearly as long to catch these concepts why I've been doing this for decades. So I know where the potholes are, I know where the speed bumps are and I can cut your learning curve. Here's the other thing, the other relationship that every woman needs in her life.

Speaker 1: 1:54

You need a coach. I'm not saying that because I am one. I'm saying that because you need one. So let me give you my definition here. A coach works with people who are emotionally stable and ready to achieve greater success. So here's the thing Coaches are supposed to be future focused.

Speaker 1: 2:10

The difference between a coach and a counselor is that the counselor is going to work on your past. By the way, that's one of the seven. A counselor is going to work on a past to bring you to a healthy present. The coach works from a healthy present to bring you to your future and be the catalyst for your future. So so far, we have three relationships that every woman needs. Now you need that mentor, the coach, who's going to help you move forward faster. The mentor is going to give you what you need to cut your learning curve. And also we need that counselor. Now that counselor is going to deal with what you need to cut your learning curve. And also we need that counselor. Now that counselor is going to deal with some of the issues that hold us back, because for some of us, well, we've had some pretty traumatic events in our lives or we've had things that we're still working through or relationships where we need support.

Speaker 1: 3:01

Don't be ashamed to get counseling. If you know me and if you've been listening to any of my podcasts, you know I believe in Jesus, deliverance, prayer and therapy Hello, and sometimes we'll need them all at the same time and don't be ashamed of that and don't be afraid of that. Right, they're built into your life to help you. Another difference between the coach and the counselor is that the coach coaching should be more client directed, right. So you come into coaching understanding that there's something you want to work on or somewhere you need support or accountability and you direct that course. With counseling, it is more counselor directed, where the counselor would say you know, here are some things that I'm seeing or some patterns I've identified or some issues we may need to address. So just keep that in mind. The other thing is do not confuse your need for a coach with your need for a counselor. I do have a podcast episode regarding this and I will make sure that I drop that in the show description, okay? Lastly, one of the big differences between a coach and a counselor is that mental health counselors must be licensed. Now, those licensing requirements vary from state to state, but they must be licensed. For coaches, there is currently no licensing, but they can be board or coaching federation certified, so you can always check into that, okay.

Speaker 1: 4:33

So so far, we've talked about three relationships that every woman needs in her life her mentor, coach and counselor.

Speaker 1: 4:40

So let's look at for another one your connector. Oh my gosh. Okay. So you need a connector. Now, my definition for connector is that this connector knows many people and is willing to connect you to others, to broker deals, support projects or promote you right. So when you think about a connector, a connector is putting you in front of the right people in the right place at the right time. You know we talk about getting a seat at the table. Well, this person knows the host who is hosting the table and is going to bring you into the space and place. So everyone needs a connector. Now, I'm a connector and I have a really good friend who is a connector and most of the times people tell me I don't bother. Google, I just ask you, do you know anyone who and it's always I've got a guy, I have a connection? Yes, I do know someone Wait, let me make a call is willing to make that introduction so that the two of you have the opportunity to connect and to move forward on the business that you have at hand. So everybody needs a connector.

Speaker 1: 5:49

Let's look at the fifth relationship that every woman needs. Oh, my gosh, the encourager. You need an encourager, and I don't even have to look at the definition. Everybody needs a cheerleader, right? Everybody needs somebody who says you can do it, or I knew you could do it, or I'm here for you, or I'm watching you work. You better make it happen, girl, right? Somebody who is in your corner. You need an amen corner. Let's face it, life is tough. Life be lifin' out in these streets. You need an encourager. So everybody needs somebody who's going to exhort them to go further, do more, experience life right.

Speaker 1: 6:26

And I have a friend who I was running some new ideas by her for some new programs. Oh, stay tuned because this stuff is going to be really, really good. But I was running them by her today and she was like let's go. What can I do to help? What can I do to help you get it done? I believe in you. That really sounds great. Let me support it. I'll be here for you.

Speaker 1: 6:50

Everybody needs that encourager in her life. A friend. Now when I say friend, let me read my definition of friend. I'll be right back. I'm going to read my definition of friend Someone who helps you put your flowers in a vase and smell them too. She lets you walk the journey with her and she with you. As you live, love and learn.

Speaker 1: 7:16

Now listen, girls. I got to tell you, as you live, love and learn. Now listen, girls. I got to tell you some of these friends ain't friending. A friend should be loyal. A friend should be trustworthy, and some of us are calling people friends when they're really acquaintances. Some of us are calling people friends when really what they are is watchers. The word says that you know that a friend is supposed to be friendly. So this frenemy stuff where they're giving you backhanded compliments and you don't trust your children or your husband around them, even when you're in the room Baby, that's not a friend, that's a problem. Even when you're in the room baby, that's not a friend, that's a problem. So choose your friends wisely, because you show me who your friends are. I can just about show you your future. You show me your friends. I can tell you how much support you have, and a lot of us are calling people friends that are not friends.

Speaker 1: 8:14

So make sure that you're categorizing these people in these relationships correctly, so that you're not expecting something from someone that they're not equipped to give by nature of their relationship to you. For example, some of us tend to share too much too soon with the wrong people and every air quote again friend has another friend who's not your friend, who's waiting for your information, right, every friend has a friend who they can trust with your secret, and they have a friend and they have a friend, and so on and so on and so on. So, before you call someone friend, make sure they meet the right criteria they're loyal, they're trustworthy, they're honorable, they have a good reputation. Why? Because we become the people that we hang around the most have a good reputation. Why? Because we become the people that we hang around the most. Make sure that you don't have to agree on everything, but you should agree on the major life components, right? You definitely want somebody. We don't want, yes, people. We don't want people who are just carbon copies of us, but we do want people who understand our walk and respect it. Check your friends. I saw this post it.

Speaker 1: 9:33

One day that you know, I prayed to God to take away any hidden enemies and I lost most of my friends. Yeah, yet again, another show. I'll be back, all right. So the last relationship that every single woman needs in her life is a happily married sister. Yeah, every woman needs a happily married sister in her life, and I can tell you that I had the blessing, when I was single and now that I'm married, of having happily married women who were encouraging me not only in my singleness, but also as I got married, as I was courting and getting married. They were right there for me, setting a good example, calling me out on my stuff, telling me where I needed to be healed, showing me how to navigate a relationship right.

Speaker 1: 10:26

I hadn't been married in almost 15 years so I needed help. Girls, I really needed help. I needed support. I needed someone that I could run things by. I needed someone who would just say hey, that's just marriage, it's a give and take, there's ebbs and flows, it'll be okay. You know it's a give and take, there's ebbs and flows, it'll be okay. I needed people that I could see their walk with their husband and that that walk was good and it was holy and it was right, and who had gone through some stuff and made it out. On the other side, I needed happily married sisters who I hadn't heard mentioned the D word, divorce what y'all think I was going to say Okay, divorce who were in it to win it, who were in it for the long haul and they were only going to be separated by death. So I am blessed to have those kinds of women.

Speaker 1: 11:23

I have several happily married sisters. Some of you don't even have one. Remember, we become what we see and hang around the most, and it's all right to be a copycat if you copy the right cat, so they really cut my learning curve when I got married I guess it's been like eight years now when I got married eight years ago, because this was all new to me, it was like all new all over again and it was very different being married at 48 than it was at 28. So I needed their help. I needed their support. I needed them to give me feedback.

Speaker 1: 11:56

I needed to know you know, what am I going to do when I'm right and I want to argue and I'm good at it. What am I going to do with that right? So I'm saying to you get yourself some happily married sisters. And if you can't find any, I've got a whole bunch of folks that you can talk to. I'm one of them. I have a whole bunch of folks that you can talk to and come into community with over in my different coaching groups. So do check those out. All those links will be in the show description as well.

Speaker 1: 12:32

But you definitely have to get happily married sisters and if you really want your marriage to succeed. Not only would you include happily married sisters, you'd be very mindful of those who aren't happy in their marriage and how much access they have to your relationship and how much advice you take from them, because, remember, the advice you take will help you to make decisions, whether those decisions are good or bad, so govern yourself accordingly. In the meantime, please like and share this broadcast with your friends. You know a friend who needs this. You know someone in your life who needs to make these finer distinctions about the seven relationships that every single woman needs, every married woman needs, and regardless of their circumstances or their marital status. You need these women in your life. So until next time, have a wonderfully blessed day.