EP78: Who's at Your Table and What are They Bringing?

Episode Summary:

In this episode, I explore the transformative power of intentional relationships and the critical impact your circle has on your success. This summer has been a whirlwind of change in both my personal life and business, from preparing our house for sale to attending a life-changing business retreat in Orlando. Join me as I share key insights on the importance of curating your circle, embracing authenticity, and auditing your influences to unlock new opportunities and elevate your success.

Key Takeaways:

• Curate Your Circle: Learn why being intentional about the people you allow into your life is crucial for your personal and professional growth.
• Embrace Authenticity: Understand the value of surrounding yourself with individuals who are genuinely themselves and how it inspires you to do the same.
• Audit Your Influences: Discover the importance of regularly evaluating the content you consume and the people you interact with to ensure they align with your goals and aspirations.
• Elevate Your Standards: Realize how your success is often limited by the average mindset of your community and why you should seek out higher standards.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

But you have your own internal algorithm too, and the things that you are talking about and reading about and posting about and commenting on and sharing your brain. Your internal algorithm will start to seek out more of that. Welcome to the Business Blasphemy Podcast, where we question the sacred truths of the online business space and the reverence with which they're held. I'm your host, sarah Kahn, speaker, strategic consultant and BS-busting badass. Join me each week as we challenge the norms, trends and overall bullshit status quo of entrepreneurship to uncover what it really takes to build the business that you want to build in a way that honors you, your life and your vision for what's possible, and maybe piss off a few gurus along the way. So if you're ready to commit business blasphemy, let's do it. Hello, hello blasphemers, welcome back. We are in a new season, we are in a new month, we are in a new era. Everything feels new. I mean, I don't know about you. I was a teacher for a while and the fall really starts to feel like a new start for me. So I felt like this was the perfect time to kind of refresh and renew the podcast and who we're talking to and what we're talking about. So I'm very glad that you're back. Hopefully you enjoyed the last few episodes that I re-shared some of my favorite episodes and some that were your favorite as well. But now we are back brand new episodes starting today, and I guess this is the official, unofficial launch of season three of the podcast Super exciting. I've already recorded some incredible guest interviews that I'm very excited for you to hear and those will be coming dropping out over the next few weeks. Today I really wanted to just connect with you. You know we're in the first full week of August. I wanted to connect and just say hey, how has the summer been going, how are you doing? It's been a really interesting summer for me. There've been some big changes in the business. There've been some big changes in my life. As I'm recording this podcast episode, we're in the midst of getting our house ready for sale and hopefully it doesn't stay on the market too long. But we're finally making a big move that we have been planning to make for years and something always came up. It was never the right time and I get it right.

Speaker 1: 2:21

Circumstances Sometimes circumstances really do make it challenging for you to do the things that you want to do, and sometimes it's you, sometimes it's you and the energies and the spaces that you are putting yourself in that make you feel like things are hard, make you feel like things are challenging, and really they're not. Let me give you some context. I've got a Krispy Kreme donut here, if you're watching the video. It's warm, it's sweet, it's fresh. My brother just dropped them off, but I'm going to you know, this is important, so I'm going to put this aside for now and finish talking to you.

Speaker 1: 2:56

First, I went on a business retreat for the first time. I've been on, you know, business events before, like conferences, strategic planning, retreats with clients, that kind of thing. But last week was really the first time I went away on an almost week-long retreat that was for me, for me, my business, my well-being. It was in Orlando and it was four days and I have to tell you, the nuggets that I received over those four days were incredible and I'm sure you're going to hear them over the next times that we're together.

Speaker 1: 3:31

But what I will share with you today is how important it is to really curate, really be intentional about the people that you are allowing into your circle, into your energy, that you are allowing to have access to you. Because when I tell you it makes a difference. Holy shit, does it make a difference? And I mean, you're probably sitting there listening to this going. Obviously, sarah, that's not rocket science. And yet there are so many people, myself included, who are not very intentional about who they surround themselves with, what they're listening to, what they're engaging with.

Speaker 1: 4:07

It's really funny when you are in a room where people just have an elevated presence, the people in the room are very intentional about what they do. They are very authentically themselves. They do not have personas or facades, and that in and of itself is an incredibly rare thing, because most people do wear a mask of some kind. We all do, goodness knows, I do, I'm sure you do as well, depending on the circumstance or the situation that you're in. But when you have people who are fully themselves and I can say that with confidence because of some of the things that transpired over those four days People who do not put up with or allow bullshit and nonsense, when you're in a room with people like that who have that elevated presence, it is a really unique and wonderful experience. And when you are in the presence of people like that, who push you to be a better version of yourself, maybe not overtly, but just by showing up in their own power.

Speaker 1: 5:08

When you come back to your life to like reality, quote, unquote reality, and look back on the people that you are following or spending time with or engaging in conversations with, you know, it's amazing how suddenly a lot of those people and a lot of their messages don't resonate with you anymore. And this is not one of those situations where you go off, you join a cult, you come back and you cut everybody off. No, not at all. Someone joked about that earlier when I shared this with them and I was like that's not what I'm talking about. Like yeah, it's funny, haha, but it's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when you are in a room with people and you realize the possibility that is there for you, when you realize how much you've been holding yourself back from being the full badass version of yourself that's what I'm talking about and you realize that a lot of the things you have been allowing to happen around you are holding you back.

Speaker 1: 6:06

I spent several years four years actually working in a space as an operations person. So I was behind the scenes, okay, but I spent several years working in a space where, for lack of a better way of explaining it, it was a space that really allowed people to take comfort in their struggle, allowed people to show up and fully embrace and live in, continue living in and operating from a space of challenge, struggle, trauma, whatever you want to call it. And I'm not making any kind of commentary about the level of people's struggle or the depth with which people are challenged in their life. That's not what I'm talking about. But when you are in any space, even if you're there as a passive observer, even if you're there and not actively participating, but it's in your energy, it is still going to have an impact on how you show up and what you do and what you think and what you believe. And this is why it is so important to be intentional about the kind of people you're in communication with, that you're in community with, but also the kinds of things you're watching and listening to and learning and allowing to get into your brain, because even if you do not actively pursue it, it matters and it has impact. And so we're in this new month, we're in August, the fall, things are changing, things are starting to fall away. It's a perfect time.

Speaker 1: 7:30

But I really want to challenge you to think about who you are in community with, who you are working with, not just as a client, but your clients as well, because a lot of the time as coaches, as consultants, as a client, but your clients as well, because a lot of the time as coaches, as consultants, as service providers, you're holding space for clients and I know from a service provider perspective and I know this because I also talk to a lot of service providers when you're having to argue with your clients about what is possible and how to make it happen and what they believe should be done versus what you know should be done, when it's something that drains your energy, it takes away from your ability to show up fully as yourself in other spaces. So it's not just your friends, it's not just the people you're following, it's not just the content you're watching, but the people you're working with as well. And I get it. You know, sometimes beggars can't be choosers and you have to pay the bills. So if that's the case, then it's doubly, triply, quadruply important to have other people to help refill your bucket when you're working with people who are constantly taking out of it.

Speaker 1: 8:36

But, going into this new month, I would really love to challenge you to go through your contacts and see who is not resonating, who is not operating at the level you now desire to operate at. I challenge you to look at the kinds of reels and TikToks and videos and YouTubes and podcasts that you were watching and listening to, because I've had this conversation with people before and a lot of people are like no, no, no, it doesn't impact me, I'm just watching it. It doesn't impact me. I'm stronger than that. Listen, you're deluding yourself. If it is in your energy, if it's in your space, it's going to have an impact. If you are allowing it to have your attention, of course it's going to have an impact. If it's something that you're intentionally seeking, it is going to have an impact.

Speaker 1: 9:23

You have to be absolutely brutal about the kinds of people and information and content you're allowing into your space, because, I don't care how strong you think you are, it is insidious and it has an impact. So, audit the people that you are following, audit the content you're listening to, audit the podcasts that you subscribe to, audit the kinds of conversations you're having, the kind of content you're engaging with the people that you're having coffee chats with, because it all has an impact, and if you don't have the kind of success that you want, you need to ask yourself why. There are a lot of reasons why, but a big one is probably what you're thinking, how you're thinking about things, who you're in community with and how you're engaging with them. We talk a lot about the algorithm on social media and how whatever you engage with is what the algorithm will feed you, but you have your own internal algorithm too, and the things that you are talking about and reading about and posting about and commenting on and sharing your brain, your internal algorithm will start to seek out more of that Cognitive bias. It's a real thing. The more you engage with anything, the more of it is going to show up in your life, whether you want it to or not.

Speaker 1: 10:51

I'll often have conversations with people around. You know what they're seeing on their Facebook feeds or their Instagram or their TikTok that I'm not seeing, and it's like well, you know you're obviously doing something that is making the algorithm show you this kind of content, but that internal algorithm is doing the same thing. It's not random. What you see is not random. What you're bringing into your space is not random. What you put out there is what you get back. The whole world is just one giant echo chamber. So I really challenge you to do this audit and take back control of what you're being shown, of what you're consuming and the kind of impact you're having on yourself.

Speaker 1: 11:29

And, like I said, if you're not seeing the kind of success you want right now, before you go and invest in another course, before you go and sign up with another coach, before you go and order another program, ask yourself be honest with yourself. What have you been engaging in over the last three to six months? What kind of content, what kind of conversations, what kind of people are you aligned with? Because you will never go higher than the sum average of the groups that you are in, and that's a truth a lot of people do not want to hear. Try it and see if in the next six weeks, 12 weeks, three months, if things don't start to change Because I can guarantee you they absolutely will. The minute I took myself out of some spaces, the opportunities that showed up for me, you're not even going to believe. So it works. But you have to be really, really honest with yourself first, and this is really where I want to take the podcast now For the last year and a half, for the last two seasons.

Speaker 1: 12:31

Yeah, I have talked a lot about what is really shitty in the industry and I'm going to continue doing that. It's just not going to be in the way that I've been doing it, because what I was starting to realize and why I needed the break was because when you are so focused on what's wrong in the industry, that is all you see, and those are the people that are coming to you, those are the people that are showing up, and so so, yes, we'll talk about the industry and we'll talk about online business. We'll continue to talk about what's good and what's not, but the focus is shifting to what is possible, because that's really what you need. You don't need me to continue telling you what is shit about things, because we can all see that it is time for us to elevate ourselves to the possibilities, open ourselves up to what is possible, because if you're following me and you're listening to this, I know that you have a bigger purpose, that you have a deeper desire to make an impact, and I would not be fulfilling my purpose if I didn't help you get there, not be fulfilling my purpose if I didn't help you get there.

Speaker 1: 13:36

So welcome to season three. I can't wait to get started, because you can absolutely have success without the BS, especially your own. I'll talk to you next week. That's it for this week. Thanks for listening to the Business Blasphemy Podcast. We'll be back next week with a new episode, but in the meantime, help a sister out by subscribing and, if you're feeling extra sassy, rating this podcast, and don't forget to share the podcast with others. Head over to businessblasphemypodcastcom to connect with us and learn more. Thanks for listening and remember you can have success without the BS.