What if your dating life could be both joyful and rooted in faith? This episode promises to guide you through the exhilarating yet challenging journey of dating the godly way. We explore the balance between maintaining your Christian values and truly enjoying the dating process. From setting smart expectations like avoiding late-night meetups to asking meaningful questions that help you get to know your potential partner, we provide practical advice for making clear-headed decisions about your future spouse. Say goodbye to stress and rigid rules, and hello to a fulfilling dating experience that aligns with your faith.
In the second part of our conversation, we delve into the divine concept of dating as designed by God. We address the modern challenges that have distorted this beautiful process and offer a message of hope and encouragement to believers who may feel disillusioned. Dating is a preparatory stage for a committed marriage, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Plus, get excited about our upcoming digital book aimed at transforming your dating life. Join us as we aim to foster at least 100 marriages through this podcast, embarking on this journey with love, intention, and anticipation for the positive outcomes ahead.
What if your dating life could be both joyful and rooted in faith? This episode promises to guide you through the exhilarating yet challenging journey of dating the godly way. We explore the balance between maintaining your Christian values and truly enjoying the dating process. From setting smart expectations like avoiding late-night meetups to asking meaningful questions that help you get to know your potential partner, we provide practical advice for making clear-headed decisions about your future spouse. Say goodbye to stress and rigid rules, and hello to a fulfilling dating experience that aligns with your faith.
In the second part of our conversation, we delve into the divine concept of dating as designed by God. We address the modern challenges that have distorted this beautiful process and offer a message of hope and encouragement to believers who may feel disillusioned. Dating is a preparatory stage for a committed marriage, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Plus, get excited about our upcoming digital book aimed at transforming your dating life. Join us as we aim to foster at least 100 marriages through this podcast, embarking on this journey with love, intention, and anticipation for the positive outcomes ahead.
Speaker 1:
Hello, hello, hello. How's it going? I miss you, beautiful people, so much. I am back with a super, super requested episode Today's episode is about. So, faye, you always tell us what not to do. I need more info about what do you do when you found someone that you're very interested in and you want to date the golly way very interested in and you want to date the godly way. So let's just talk about it.
Speaker 1:
I am for total honesty, total openness, vulnerability. That's kind of just who I am. If you've been following this podcast for a while, you already know I do not mind stepping into murky waters and having those type of conversations, mind stepping into murky waters and having those type of conversations, and so I just want to also have other conversations where we can speak to like limitations and what to expect and how to. How do you date biblically but not, at the same time, make it so rule-based that you suck all the fun out of it, and so what I realized is that a lot of my Gen Zers, even some of my millennials, we don't know what Christian fun and just a good time looks like without adding perverse stuff into the situation, and so that's what I'm discovering as I'm helping people navigate the waters of dating and how to date according to God's word and be who God called them to be. I am finding that a lot of us, we have no clue how to truly date and have a good time, um, cleanly. And so if you are with somebody, if you found this amazing person and you're like, oh my God, I think this is it, but I don't know, we're just going to start dating. Don't know we're just gonna start dating. Don't be afraid to go hang out. Okay, yes, I want you to set smart and realistic expectations and boundaries. Okay, what do I mean? Don't be meeting up at midnight for a movie, especially if you know you've already had sex with somebody in your past and you're trying to do it the godly way because you're setting yourself up to relapse into that sin nature.
Speaker 1:
Ok, and so, number one, don't be afraid to say yes to the date. Not be afraid to get cute Now. Don't be out there making a brother stumble. You know you want to dress within margin. You want to dress when you feel beautiful, but you don't have to be all seductive, ok, but I don't want you to.
Speaker 1:
Don't turn this whole dating thing into some do this, don't do this like a robot. No, it's a flow. You must learn how to flow as a daughter or even a son, for all my men who listen to me, flow in the anointing that god put on your life and flow in who you are as an individual. You can't this is not a cookie cutter thing I can't handhold you on your dating. I can just literally tell you what's the black and white, and you have to navigate that gray area, and so in that gray area you must be okay and be open to having a good time. Go, literally, sit down and google fun stuff to do in my city fun things to do on a date. Begin even I want you to do this too, because it's something I did when I was dating my husband. I google questions to ask someone that you're really interested in, and I was able to ask him almost all those questions about life, about his background, about how he feels about kids, about how he feels about family. I was able to get to know this man so much, and it was all over our game, and many times we would go out to eat, we would play games like TikTok on the little counter space they were giving us on our day or whatever. We would go drink little mocktail drinks and just enjoy the ambiance and enjoy the bands. We would dance, we would have a good time.
Speaker 1:
I see so many believers that, because they don't want to be seen in a certain light or they want to make sure they're dating the right way, according to god's standards, or they've been taught certain things, they literally suck the joy out of dating. And something that I've also seen is we feel like being a believer has to be lame. No, it does not. Being a believer comes with freedoms Freedoms from not waking up with a hangover, freedoms of not waking up and you just may have gotten pregnant. You got to take a plan B because you out there doing what you're not supposed to do. When you date the biblical way, it takes a lot of that stress, a lot of that strain out and it allows you to really be able to date with a clear mind and a clear vision and keep in mind the things that you're looking for in a future spouse and a future husband. We don't date to just play. We date to mate.
Speaker 1:
Now I'm not saying everybody that you date. You need to be trying to get them down to the altar and marry them. I'm saying that's the opportunity for you to try to find out who is this person. Is this person even worth me following If he's to be my covering? What type of covering is this? Don't get swept up in. Oh, he look good. Oh, he take me out here, because then you will begin to overlook the things you need to be paying attention to, and I don't want you practicing desperateness when you're dating either. I want you to chillax, have fun. Let's just keep going with this, okay, because I just really feel like I need to go down this lane and we're going to follow holy spirit this time, okay.
Speaker 1:
So when I was dating my my now husband, we were dating right. People always ask me this all the time faith, what did you do when you were dating? Like, tell me about what they look like? This is what it looked like when I was dating, when I was in a dating arena, when I did, when I did it the biblical way. Let's put it like that, because I've dated the horrible, worldly way, when you do what you want. I've dated the. I almost got it right, but then I still slipped up and fell, had a baby, you know, did my little thing right there and I finally was able to date the right way. Was I perfect, almost perfect, because I literally dated a virgin and he was able to maintain his virginity already up to the day of marriage. And so I did pop off on him, like me, like go off on him a couple times which I'll talk about that later and so that's kind of where the hiccups were. But when we were dating, the only thing I did was show up, have fun, be cute. Why did I do that? I did that because y'all I didn't want to make no investments that were going to cost me later Women I'm talking to biblical women who are similar to myself, and if this is not you, this is not you, but for the most part this is every woman that I know.
Speaker 1:
Women, when we begin to invest meaning cook and clean and buy stuff with our money, those are not just tokens of our appreciation, those are investments into his life, because we're hoping he will see what kind of amazing spouse I will be in our future. That's not just a no strings attached thing. That thing comes with an invisible string to our heart, and once a man gets your heart, he got your body. What am I saying when I dated my now husband. I made no investments. My husband didn't even know I can cook until the day we got home from our anniversary Okay, I mean not anniversary, we got home from our honeymoon. He had no clue that I could cook. Why? Because I didn't cook for him. I was like no, and granted, you don't have to be this like strenuous, you can just margin to it. But for me, in my house, what I did was I made no investments. I didn't buy nothing, I didn't cook for nobody. I showed and go to his house and clean up his house because I didn't live there. Number one, I made no investments. The only thing I did was show up, be cute, have fun, open to conversation, open to seeing what he was about.
Speaker 1:
I was sitting there studying him, learning who he was, joking and laughing, going out having a good time, not always laid up at a movie theater in dark places. We would go out running, go out walking, go eating, go skating, go dancing. I would put him into different spaces. He would put me into different spaces where we had to see each other in different environments, because the more you see each other in different environments, the better you can make. The decision is of? Is this my spouse? Is this somebody that I can see myself being with for a long period of time? And so we did that and y'all my husband took me to breakfast, lunch and dinner for six months straight when he first decided he wanted to date me. Like I'm not even kidding six months straight, uh, courting me. He knew that food was my love language and fun, food and fun. You got me, and so he literally he took me out to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner anytime he wanted to spend time with me. He would always have a piece of food attached to that. That's so hilarious. I think about it, but I just want you to understand. Have a good time.
Speaker 1:
Being a christian does not mean there's no more fun. Being a biblical believer is trying to date according to god's standards does not take away the joy and the chase and the beauty and romance of dating it. Just like the perimeters god put there are literally there to protect you, to keep you from having sex with somebody who's not your spouse, to keep you from damaging somebody who's not your spouse and that person having to live with what you did to them for the rest of their life, to keep you from being damaged by somebody who's not your spouse and you're having to live with that for the rest of your life and a lot, and then it forces someone else to have to fix what shouldn't have been broken in the first place. I see so many times people dating and they don't have a clue what to do. Don't let that be.
Speaker 1:
You, sit down, go to google, ask google, google, what is some things we can do in our city? It can start off as free things. Go out to a natural park in your city, in your area, go skate, go dancing. I challenge y'all to go salsa dancing. Me and my husband, we love going salsa dancing. We love to go to the line dancing in this place called Electric Cowboy. We did everything together because we wanted to enjoy our life, we wanted to get to know each other and we wanted to maximize the time in the different places we saw each other, because only then would you really know somebody, when you have seen them in multiple environments.
Speaker 1:
And so stop being afraid today to have a good time, stop being afraid to get cute and look good and feel confident about yourself, because God made you beautiful. If you're beautiful, stop apologizing for being beautiful. You can't help. You're beautiful. You cannot help that. God made you with those pretty brown eyes, those pretty green eyes. You can't help that. You don't use it to cause someone to stumble but at the same time, stop apologizing for it. You can't help. You got hips and you got dips and you got all this and that you can't help you find honey, and so learn how to embrace the grace that God put on you. Embrace the beauty, embrace the femininity, embrace all that without seduction. Femininity stands by herself. She does not need seduction to help her. If you're trying to seduce, we got a problem because you should not allow yourself to seduce anybody. If he wants you, he wants you, okay, and so let's not confuse femininity with seduction.
Speaker 1:
I want you to understand that the lord is the one who designed and crafted dating. He's the one who this was his idea, not ours, not the devil. The devil took this, took this dating thing and perverted it and twisted it. Up to now, people don't even want to date, people have no idea how to, and it's just so sad to me because I'm like marriage is one of the most beautiful things one can ever experience, but because of so many bad things that's happened, so many broken relationships, so many fractured childhoods. We, even as believers, have written that off, but I don't want us to do that. I want us to be different. I want to see at least 100 married couples come from this podcast. I want to be a part of your journey as you're dating and becoming more of who God made you to be as you're dating, because dating literally is designed to help pull out things in you and prepare you to be that bride or that groom that you need to be. So I want to be a part of that. I cannot wait to see what God does using this podcast.
Speaker 1:
But I love y'all. I miss y'all. We're about to go ahead and drop this digital book. It's coming out next week. I'm going to drop a link very soon, so be on the lookout for that. It's going to literally be a book, and the book is going to change and transform your life and help you begin today, prepare for dating or help you in your dating now. So be on the lookout for that. I love y'all. I will talk to y'all very soon. You amazing, beautiful people. Y'all take care.
