Ever wondered why your little one wakes up frequently throughout the night, leaving you both exhausted? Could it be something more than just regular feeding needs? This episode illuminates how certain overlooked medical issues might be the hidden culprits affecting sleep patterns. Learn about the unexpected connection between low iron levels, thyroid imbalances, and sleep disturbances. Discover how something as simple as a blood test might be the key to unlocking a peaceful night's sleep for you and your child.
Moving beyond the physical, we also delve into the psychological aspects of sleep. Stress, a ubiquitous part of modern motherhood, often goes unnoticed as a significant disruptor of sleep. Unravel the cues of danger and threat that loom in your daily life and learn how they may be affecting your sleep. This episode uncovers practical strategies to create a sense of safety and calm amidst the chaos, ultimately aiding in better sleep. Whether you're a stay-at-home mom or juggling work and family, this episode equips you with the tools to manage your stress effectively. Remember, improving your sleep may not necessitate a massive change like night weaning - sometimes, it's about understanding your body better and keeping your stress levels in check.
Ever wondered why your little one wakes up frequently throughout the night, leaving you both exhausted? Could it be something more than just regular feeding needs? This episode illuminates how certain overlooked medical issues might be the hidden culprits affecting sleep patterns. Learn about the unexpected connection between low iron levels, thyroid imbalances, and sleep disturbances. Discover how something as simple as a blood test might be the key to unlocking a peaceful night's sleep for you and your child.
Moving beyond the physical, we also delve into the psychological aspects of sleep. Stress, a ubiquitous part of modern motherhood, often goes unnoticed as a significant disruptor of sleep. Unravel the cues of danger and threat that loom in your daily life and learn how they may be affecting your sleep. This episode uncovers practical strategies to create a sense of safety and calm amidst the chaos, ultimately aiding in better sleep. Whether you're a stay-at-home mom or juggling work and family, this episode equips you with the tools to manage your stress effectively. Remember, improving your sleep may not necessitate a massive change like night weaning - sometimes, it's about understanding your body better and keeping your stress levels in check.
I am currently in a cute little cottage overlooking a beautiful lake that is just pristine. Today it is so calm outside, like the leaves are not moving at all on the trees and the lake looks so still, and my husband and my kids are out on that lake in a boat doing some fishing and exploring. We have been geocaching and hiking and it has been a wonderful time together as a family. So for that reason I'm gonna keep things pretty quick today. But I have had a lot of people as I always do, but particularly in the last week or so reaching out for sleep, support for and night-meaning and really deciding whether or not night-meaning is the right step for them and their family. So today I wanted to offer you three unexpected ways that you can improve your sleep without night-meaning. So these are great because even if you do night-ween, these things can be affecting your sleep quality apart from simply waking at night to breastfeed your child, right? So if you remove breast feeding, these things might still be affecting your quality of sleep. So they're great to consider if you are night-weening or if you're not night weaning, because they might also get you some additional sleep and feeling rested and more awake and energized during the day, even if you don't night lean. So starting out with number one is to get some blood work done. Now, when you are pregnant and in those early postpartum days, you likely have had blood work done. Depending on where you are in the world, obviously, prenatal care and postnatal care looks different. However, it's pretty standard to get blood work done and to check your iron and all of those things. But sometimes things can pop up postpartum that weren't really that didn't really show themselves during pregnancy or in those early days, but they can still be affecting you. So some things to check are your thyroid. Make sure you get like a full thyroid panel to get all of the details there Calcium levels, iron, vitamin D and more. This is a great conversation to have with your doctor, but what can happen is that your it's possible you can even have autoimmune disorders pop up in this time all those things thyroid issues, etc. Etc. And your life looks different, even if you already have had children prior to this.
Speaker 1:
You've never had this child in this stage, so sometimes you can miss the signs of things being amiss with your health because you're just like well, I'm on mom to. You know, a one-year-old or a two-year-old? I'm just supposed to be exhausted all the time, right, but it can actually be something else going on. Now, sometimes, when you go to talk to your doctor about this not always, but this can be the case where doctors might say, well, you just need to sleep, train your child, right, that's how you're gonna get more sleep. I would love to offer the idea that Sometimes, when there's something medical going on that's undiagnosed or that you're not really aware of and it's causing you to feel exhausted and stressed out, it's causing you to not have the energy and to be present with your child, what that can trigger is I call it the breastfeeding stress or the toddler breastfeeding stress cycle, but it can trigger that because you are already at kind of a limited capacity to be present because of that stress on your body.
Speaker 1:
Right, if you're familiar with the metaphor of spoons, right, you have so many spoons in a day. This is particularly for people who have a disability or a chronic illness, but it kind of applies here in this scenario where you only have so many spoons quote for activities during the day and as if you have to exchange those spoons for each activity, so you only have so much energy. So having a, you know, thyroid that's not working optimally, or low iron or low vitamin D, can kind of reduce your spoons, right, but your child's needs don't necessarily reduce, so they can be picking up on your stress. This is something I really go into in my course, my group coaching program on your breastfeeding story. But what happens is that your child kind of takes on your stress in some ways. Now this is very unconscious and even if you are doing your absolute best, sweet mama, to show up for them, it might be you might be adding kind of fuel to this fire of stress.
Speaker 1:
That stress is not only making you not feel well-rested, but it's actually can be a part of your child waking at night. It can be that stress that they're feeling can be kind of adrenaline and cortisol on their body that is causing them to rouse more frequently. And then they're looking for that comfort and connection from you and all of the wonderful things that are in breast milk that help them to feel sleepy, to help them to get more sleep at night. So they're reaching out for breast milk to be their best kind of bet to get more sleep in this current situation that they're in. So eliminating breastfeeding doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to be sleeping more because they've lost that tool to kind of regulate and go back to sleep. So, instead of looking to eliminate breastfeeding in order to get more sleep, what you can do is eliminate that source of stress that was there to begin with, which could be something medical in your body, which is why just getting some blood work done can really illuminate that and let you know if there is something going on in your body that you might need some support with.
Speaker 1:
Now, if your child is waking very frequently and they are showing other symptoms, it might be worthwhile to get some blood work done for your child too, because things like low iron can affect them and create more like more waking. So that's something to kind of consider, to file away. It's obviously not like a first line step and it's certainly not the case for any everybody. Night waking is still really really normal in toddlers and does serve a good purpose, so it's probably not going to eliminate completely when you are. Even if you night wean and make everything super optimal, it's very likely that your child might still wake once or twice during the night.
Speaker 1:
However, of course, if there is something medical, you want to get that investigated. Okay, so that's. Number one is to just get some blood work done, because you might find it could be something that's kind of perhaps bigger and needs more support and intervention, in which case, of course, knowing that is great, but it might be something that it's just as simple as taking a supplement for, you know, a month or two and you'll start to see some real improvements. Okay, so that's number one. Number two is to reduce your stress. So that seems like a really big thing, but I want to bring this in a different kind of light. So in we talked about it one in like a medical sense, that there might be stress on your body because something's kind of a miss, but your nervous system is also responding to cues all day long, of cues of safety and danger. So these are things I really dig into in my course.
Speaker 1:
But what can happen is that your body kind of gets kicked into fight or flight, right it's, it's moved into this mobilization, or it can also get moved into immobilization, freeze, which is a different response, but it's responding to these subtle or not so subtle cues that are in your environment all the time and so your body constantly being in fight-or-flight, constantly having that stress, so it's looking around. You're looking around and you're noticing things that your body and your mind are perceiving as threats, and that fight-or-flight is protective to protect you. So this could be bills that you need to pay. This could be you know things in your home that need fixed. This could be looking in the mirror and noticing you know acne, or that's my hand up Having a heck of acne, and different things that just are like little things of stress. So these are all cues of danger, cues of threat that your body is interpreting, your mind is interpreting, and then you're getting, even though your body doesn't like realize that this might not be the best way to deal with it, it's responding to it as if you are being chased by the tiger or the bear. Right, we kind of use that analogy when we're talking about fight-or-flight freeze.
Speaker 1:
What's happening is you're getting, you know, adrenaline and cortisol in your body every time. It's preparing you, it's moving you to action to deal with this threat. So you can't always control these sources of danger. You know cues of danger and threats in your life. If you can, I would support you to do something about those things, because it can be really helpful. Sometimes what can happen is there are things that feel really scary and intense and they don't feel like we can control them and so, kind of unconsciously, we can project that stress onto other areas and so we're like if we could just fix this thing. And a lot of times, unfortunately, our kids kind of can become the projection, the thing that we're projecting all that onto, and we just want to fix them, just say, if you just changed, then everything would be better. Right, we can have that sense and that feeling and it's why is our body and brain are doing that to support us, because those things can feel really scary. So we don't want to look at the hard things. But if you can, which can be tough, but if you can deal with those, that's great.
Speaker 1:
But there's another option too, which is to bring in more signs of safety. So if you can bring in more signs of safety, so these things can be relationships, so friendships, picking up safety, social cues, laughter. Give me physical touch from your partner, just feeling hugs. Sometimes those things go out the window when we're in times of stress. But I know for myself when I'm going through periods like that, just making sure that I am being intentional about hugging my husband, like get a hug I need a hug right now and laughter right. Putting on something that you enjoy, like a show or a comedy special Reading a book that's comforting, looking at nature, getting out in nature, moving your body, listening to music and dancing All of these things can be cues and signs of safety in our lives, and those things, just even adding them in, can reduce your stress.
Speaker 1:
And reducing your stress means that you're not going to bed right with like an extra adrenaline and cortisol in your body that's not allowing you to get the restful, peaceful sleep that you need. And, of course, as I spoke about in the last one, that stress can, in turn, affect your relationship with your child. So it's really helpful to to do that too. So the first one was to just get some blood work done. Just make sure that there's nothing medical going on, make sure that everything looks good.
Speaker 1:
Number two is to reduce your stress by incorporating additional signs of safety simple, simple signs of safety, things that you feel really wonderful about, things that you enjoy, things that you love. This can be creative outlets too, but socializing, even as simple as being out in public and making eye contact and like a smile with a stranger. So sometimes when I'm feeling stressed, going as simple as going through a drive-thru and being pleasant and kind with the person that I'm talking with at the drive-thru window and it helps if they're pleasant and kind in return. But do you know that feeling? I mean maybe I'm crazy, but like I just love that feeling. I'm like, oh, it's just a good day. I just talked to somebody and they smiled and they said hi, and it feels good, right, and sometimes it takes a little effort to do that and I'm not suggesting that you always need to or that you owe anyone that, but it can be a really good thing to nourish yourself with and that can be the kinds of little signs of safety that reduce your stress level and improve your quality of sleep at night and improve your relationship with your child, which in turn improves their quality of sleep at night.
Speaker 1:
So number three is deepen your connection with your child so this can support them to get better sleep. But it can also be a sign of safety for you to have those moments that feel really peaceful and relaxed and connecting with your child. So you don't have to go crazy with this. This isn't adding a whole big thing onto your plate, but just taking moments to notice the way their hair feels on your hands, to notice the smell of their head, to see their tiny little fingers, those things can be really soothing and regulating for you and then, in turn, you can use things that can deepen your connection with that, can deepen their sense of connection with you. So talk to them about how much you love them and how your love connects you. So this can be you know, you can read storybooks about things like this, like the kissing hand and the invisible string.
Speaker 1:
Having these conversations about how you feel, how you are always with them, right, how you're always there, and giving them even tangible ways to feel you and sense you and be with you when you're not physically present Whether that's when you are, you know, away at work and you have a lot of separation. That's a long time, but it can also even be if you are bed sharing and your child like literally sleeps beside you. That's falling asleep can be a really big separation for you and your child. It sounds kind of silly, but going unconscious it's kind of the biggest separation that there can be. So talking to your child about meeting them in their dreams, setting the table before you go to bed at night, say this is what we're going to do for breakfast in the morning, this is what we're going to do, and kind of pointing to that can all be really beautiful ways of what Deborah McNamara, dr Deborah McNamara, calls bridging, kind of pointing to that next piece of connection and those things again talking about nervous system regulation. We're talking about relationships and reducing stress. These things can all really really reduce your child's stress and may even allow them to have fewer night wakings or to have fewer intensity with those night wakings, so maybe to be able to settle quicker, which in turn improves your sleep. So those were my three unexpected ways to improve your sleep without night weaning, or improve your sleep even if you're night weaning.
Speaker 1:
I hope that you enjoyed them. I would love to hear from you. You can shoot me a DM on Instagram, at ownyourparentingstory, and if you liked this episode, I would absolutely love for you to leave a rating and review on whatever podcast platform that you are using. I know on Spotify you'll just leave a rating and I think that there will be a Q&A that you can type in as well, and on Apple Podcast you can leave a review. I would love to see that, and it helps this casket out to other mamas who need it too. So it has been a pleasure. I am going to enjoy these this day at the cottage and spend some more family time, and I hope that you do as well. I'll see you later.