[00:00:00] Welcome to the third and final part of the Tandem Feeding Series. I've already done an episode on fertility while breastfeeding a toddler. We talked about pregnancy and breastfeeding a toddler. And today we're talking about breastfeeding a newborn and breastfeeding a toddler. So, the usual disclaimer, of course, this is not medical advice.
It's for educational, informational purposes only. And, as I stated in the last episode as well on pregnancy, if you are breastfeeding a toddler, a baby who's under [00:00:30] 12 months and a newborn, your babies are particularly close together, you may need additional support. In fact, you'll likely need additional support.
So, you can reach out to a local IBCLC, that's an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, or a Pediatric Registered Dietitian, potentially, depending on the unique situation you're facing just to get additional support because the nutritional needs of a baby are different than the nutritional needs of a toddler.
So, I'm going to be specifically speaking about more [00:01:00] of a toddler dynamic with a one year old, two year old, three year old, etc. Um, however, most of this will still apply to you even if you're breastfeeding a younger baby as at the same time as a newborn. So, a little roadmap of where we're going to be going today.
First, I'm going to talk a little bit more about what tandem feeding is. And some common questions that often come up around tandem feeding. Then we're going to talk a little bit about preparing to tandem feed, uh, before birth, during birth, that time, as well [00:01:30] as those early stages of tandem feeding, what that looks like, positions, all that kind of stuff, sleep.
And that will lead us into some of the Challenges that often come up with tandem breastfeeding, as well as some of the benefits. So I'm going to keep everything pretty top level today. And also it's still going to be pretty informative and empowering. This is a lot of information I didn't have when I started out my tandem feeding journey.
So as well, there's not [00:02:00] a lot of information and resources out there for tandem feeding. So I hope that even if it's a relatively top level and we don't go like mega deep into any of these particular topics that you are still going to find it interesting, you're still going to find it supportive, helpful, all that stuff.
So without further ado, let's start out with the definition of tandem feeding. Now, when I'm talking about tandem feeding, and when pretty much anyone's talking about tandem feeding, we're not talking about Breastfeeding multiples. So breastfeeding [00:02:30] multiples is breastfeeding twins, triplets, etc. And tandem feeding is breastfeeding two or more, uh, children who are different ages.
So you'll have an older nurseling and a younger nurseling or potentially two older nurselings and a younger nurseling. But it's really that different ages that is what we're talking about when we're talking about tandem breastfeeding. So unfortunately, if you've tuned in because you are looking for support breastfeeding multiples, this isn't the episode for you.
For the rest of you, I've got [00:03:00] lots of wonderful information for you.
[00:03:02] Tandem nursing FAQ[00:03:02] Is it safe to tandem breastfeed?
So the three common questions I get the most around tandem nursing are number one, is it safe? Yes, it is safe. It is safe for you, for your older nursling and for your younger nursling to tandem breastfeed. And of course we'll get into some more details throughout the episode, but I really want to lay that foundation. If that's a question you have, yeah, it is safe.
It's not doing any harm to you or them.
[00:03:27] Will I make enough milk to feed both of my children?
The second question often is, [00:03:30] Will I make enough milk? And the answer is yes. It's supply and demand. So, your body will be able to sustain two babies, two children,, as long as you are responsively feeding them, as long as you are, uh, responding to their needs and not limiting or restricting that intake, particularly for your newborn, but your body will match that.
Uh, Demand. The supply will match the demand in most cases. Now, I will talk about some situations where you might need to reach out for some [00:04:00] more support because there's signs that something might be off. And that does happen. However, if you've breastfed your older toddler, and then you've breastfed through pregnancy.
It's unlikely that you are in a situation where you will not make enough milk, right? Like, we know that you have sufficient glandular tissue in your breasts if you were able to breastfeed one toddler, uh, like one child, right? Uh, we know that, you know, all of those things are working for you, and so, yes, you will make enough milk [00:04:30] for both of your, both of your nurselings.
[00:04:32] What happens if my toddler gets sick while I am tandem breastfeeding?
And then the third question is what happens if someone gets sick? If my toddler gets sick, if I get sick, how do we navigate tandem breastfeeding through that? So there's a lot of dynamics. And of course, if you have unique situations, talk to your care provider, talk to a lactation consultant in your area, all of that stuff.
This is more general but your Breasts do an amazing job of keeping themselves clean. So, you [00:05:00] have these little glands around your areola called Montgomery glands and they actually secrete an antibacterial oil, um, that does a great job of keeping your nipples and everything healthy and , newborn saliva mixing with your breast milk.
Creates a hydrogen peroxide that is strong enough to kill staph infection. So you don't have to worry about the bacteria that could potentially be on your breast from one mouth to the other and [00:05:30] transferring in that way. Remember, you guys are living in pretty close quarters, so you've likely already been sharing germs and the benefit of actually you sharing germs is that your body has already been exposed to whatever pathogens are around and been producing antibodies, in order to fight those pathogens.
And both of your children have been getting those antibodies in the breast milk. before you even realized that somebody was sick in most cases, it is safe to breastfeed [00:06:00] when one or both of you guys are sick. And you can remember too, that because you're breastfeeding a toddler, your toddler is getting that immune support, right?
Where if you weren't breastfeeding them, they wouldn't be getting that immune support. And of course your newborn as well is getting that immune support too. So it's, it's really a win win when you are breastfeeding through sickness. Of course, if you feel more comfortable, uh, giving your breast a wipe in between nursing, that is a okay.
Just make sure that you're using [00:06:30] something really mild and gentle, um, not any kind of anything harsh. You're not rubbing or scrubbing or using anything that's drying or irritating on your breast. And that you're
Latching, because you don't want to get, um, soap in their mouths. So yes, it is safe to breastfeed when one of your kiddos is sick and your body's already preparing for that. And in most cases, you don't really need to do anything differently.
[00:06:59] Preparing to Tandem Feed
So let's talk [00:07:00] about preparing to tandem feed.
Talking to your toddler about what's going to happen is really, really powerful. Think about the unique situations in your home. The unique situations with your birth plan and what you intend to happen through that birth process and what that recovery is going to look like afterwards. Now, I, for example, with my second had a Plan C section, so I knew that I wasn't going to be able to pick up my toddler.
She was two when my son was born. We talked a lot [00:07:30] about the fact that we would be able to cuddle on the couch. I wouldn't be able to lift her for about six weeks afterwards. So we talked about what that was going to look like. We talked about the fact that there's going to be another baby drinking mommy milk too.
And then I have. Two arms, I have two boobies, two legs for them to sit on, and that we could snuggle on the couch. So, having those conversations ahead of time can be really, really helpful, and you don't need to belabor it. You don't need to get, uh, super philosophical [00:08:00] or, You know, really emotional around it with your toddler.
Just matter of fact, hey, this is what's going to happen. There's a baby in my tummy, and that baby's going to come out, and the baby's going to get breast milk just like you had breast milk, and you're still going to have breast milk on this side. Now, some children, as I talked about in the pregnancy episode, do wean during pregnancy on their own.
So talking to the fact, to them about the fact that your milk is going to come back and that the baby will be breastfeeding is important. And if, of [00:08:30] course, I'm assuming for this episode that you're intending on breastfeeding both of them. So you can tell them, Hey, you can have some mommy milk when my milk comes back, if you'd like to.
That's great. Of course, stay flexible with what your toddler is letting you know that they want, um, and you can always say no. That is always available to you. I have my guide to say no to the feed while still saying yes to the need at ownyourparentingstory. com slash guide, uh, if you need some support with that, of course.
Now, letting [00:09:00] your toddler know that the baby's coming and kind of enlisting their help is really, it can be a really great idea. This can be, again, done really matter of factly. You don't need to get too over the top with it, but just say like, Hey, kiddo, mommy's going to be changing this baby's diaper a lot.
Can you be my diaper helper? Can you get the diaper whenever I need help with that? And you guys can even practice beforehand with a doll. If you want to get your toddler their own doll to practice [00:09:30] with, all of those things can be really helpful for creating a more concrete idea and concept for them around what that postpartum life is going to look like.
And again, depending on your unique situation, you might want to talk about the fact that you're going to be resting a lot, especially if you, um, are somebody who values a baby moon, right? Or that time, after that postpartum period. Being spent mostly resting, that kind of stuff. So talk to them. And if you decide to [00:10:00] prep meals and that kind of thing, invite your toddler to come along and, and have them join you in that process.
Of course, let them be your baby still, if that is what they seem to want. You're not trying to force them into another role. You can definitely let them know that there's still so much love for them , in your heart. There are lots of resources out there for preparing for a new sibling, of course. Whatever thing you're choosing, books, there's a wonderful [00:10:30] Daniel Tiger episode, if you like that thing, and that's available to you in your area, um, on having a new baby, but just incorporate that dynamic of breastfeeding and what that might look like for you.
Make sure that you're explaining everything in really simple terms, and of course, like I said, just reiterate the fact that there's going to be connection time and there's going to be still time spent with you, and that you have enough love for both of them. So [00:11:00] once the baby is here, now you're breastfeeding too.
[00:11:03] Early Days of Tandem Feeding
So I know I said before that you will have enough milk for both, and that is true. The only caveat to that is the fact that in that first 24 hours, your colostrum is still in a somewhat limited supply. So that's the first 24 hours after birth. Now, for many people who are birthing, um, in a hospital situation or birthing in an environment where their toddler isn't with them, um, Your toddler's not really going to be around for that first 24 hour period anyway, or at least not around a ton.[00:11:30]
And I do encourage you to have some extra support around to be with your toddler, even if you are having a home birth, or I mean birthing in an environment where they're going to be around. because that colostrum is in limited supply, it is important that your newborn kind of has first dibs or gets the opportunity to breastfeed first until your milk starts to transition.
So typically day two or three, especially if you're tandem breastfeeding, you're going to find that your milk is beginning to transition to mature milk and that supply will be [00:12:00] ramping up. Um, it doesn't mean that your toddler cannot breastfeed in that first 24 hours. It just means that you want to be.
responding to your newborn's cues first, allowing them to latch, and then breastfeeding your toddler afterwards. Or if you choose to have them on both at the same time, that your toddler's time on the breast is just, you know, you're limiting it a little bit, right? During that first 24 hour period.
After that, the rules are whatever you like. So if [00:12:30] you want to breastfeed your toddler very frequently during the day, go for it. During the night, whatever works for you, that is totally fine. Your body, like I said, is going to make enough milk for both of them. The same rules apply when you're breastfeeding your newborn as they did when you were breastfeeding your toddler when they were a newborn.
So you want to be looking for hunger and fullness cues. You want to be responsibly feeding, on demand feeding with air quotes, but responding to those cues, breastfeeding early and often, [00:13:00] you want their latch to be very comfortable for you, no pain, no pain while they're latching. Um, if you're experiencing pain, it's important to get some support.
I really encourage you. If you're pregnant right now, find an IBCLC local to you. Look at some reviews if you want to reach out to them ahead of time. Get that connection built if you don't already have one so that when your newborn is here, if you have any issues, you feel [00:13:30] confident and comfortable reaching out for that support right away.
Because a lot of times if you can get access to care really early, you can nip in the bud, whatever issues come up early. So they're not. snowballing and getting bigger over time, which is. common with breastfeeding issues. They typically don't resolve themselves. They often get worse. So you will know that your newborn is getting enough milk by the diaper count.
That's the first thing that you're going to know right off the bat. So if you've forgotten, right, you want to have one [00:14:00] pee and one poop on the first day, two pees and two poops on the second day, et cetera, until about day six. And then you're at six and six. So, six wets, six dirties for the next five weeks or so.
And then you want to, you don't want to see any drop in the wets, however, it can be normal for the dirties to go down to one a day ish after that, about six weeks mark. You don't have to have any cause for alarm if you're, if, if the dirty number drops at that point. You also want to make sure that your little [00:14:30] one is gaining weight well, so typically your doctor.
Midwife, whoever, whatever care you have is going to be checking that for you. Um, keep in mind that even midwives who can be massive breastfeeding advocates aren't always trained in lactation specifically. Many of them are IBCLCs as well or have taken a lot more education around breastfeeding, but it's not necessarily standard for them to get extensive lactation education.[00:15:00]
And if you have things that are coming up, issues that you're having and the doctor or the midwife doesn't seem to have a lot of answers for you or is kind of brushing it off. Just Get some more support, add a IBCLC into your care team, add somebody into your care team who can offer that specialized care.
Another thing that you might want to consider reaching out for support for, so if there's not, if they're not having enough wets or dirties, if you're having any pain or if they are feeding [00:15:30] very frequently, and by that I would mean more than 12 times in a 24 hour period. Of course, you don't need to like be religiously tracking these things, but if they, it seems like they're never.
stopping all the time feeding and they're falling asleep at the breast every single time, all the time. Of course, it is very normal for a newborn to fall asleep at the breast. I'm not suggesting that it's, it's not, but if they're falling asleep and then they wake up hungry right after, those can all be just signs that something might be a little bit off and it can be helpful to [00:16:00] reach out for some more, specialized support around breastfeeding as well. If there's any like colicky or they're having reflux or spitting up a lot, sometimes it's worth reaching out to an IBCLC in those situations as well. Many times, like I'm not an IBCLC, I'm a certified lactation counselor, not a international board certified lactation consultant.
And also in my local area, there's not a ton of IBCLCs and there hasn't been at different times. So a lot of people reach out to me for support. And then of course I refer out if needed, but tons of [00:16:30] times people would reach out with like, They didn't, they weren't sure if there was any real issue or not, and they even felt silly reaching out for support, and we're then very grateful that they did because there were some issues and we were able to address those and get them the support that they needed, early on and things resolved.
So, yes, I just, just to reiterate, if anything feels off, if you have any questions, just get that support early on. For your breastfeeding newborn, because it's still really [00:17:00] important, even though you've already been breastfeeding for a long time, and you know a lot of things, this is a new baby and a new dynamic, their temperament is going to be different, you're different, right?
The way that you're approaching everything is different now, so, if you need support, call us. Get it?
[00:17:16] Positions for tandem nurisng
Now, let's talk about positions when tandem breastfeeding. This comes up so much too. When you are breastfeeding in general, you do not need to use some predetermined [00:17:30] position. Football hold, cradle hold, cross cradle, any of those things.
You know, there's normally the pictures on the wall at the hospital or whatever of all these different positions. Those are artificial, right? Yes, there can be times where different ones can be helpful for different things, but the reality is that as long as your little one's mouth can get onto your nipple, they can breastfeed.
Any position you can dream of, they can breastfeed. That can be really helpful because sometimes certain things come up, like you have a C [00:18:00] section or maybe you have a pain in your shoulder in a certain spot. You can get creative with the positions here. There are important things as far as the function of the latch.
And if something's feeling off, if there's pain, if, you know, you're seeing different things that are happening, they're not gaining well, whatever. Sometimes the positioning is something that can be tweaked to support and, remedy those challenges. Not all the time though.
Sometimes there's something deeper going on too. But [00:18:30] the same thing applies with tandem feeding. You don't need to have. Fancy positions in order to tandem feed in. The most important thing is just that each child can have access to the breast if you want to breastfeed two at the same time. You don't have to.
You can if you'd like to. sometimes, you know, you might want to have more of a schedule or routine with your older nurseling and not with your younger. That's completely fine. And you might also, like, I think I said this before. I'm forgetting what I've already said. If you want to [00:19:00] breastfeed your toddler on demand or responsive feed them as well, then that's, that's completely okay.
Um, it can be helpful to switch sides. So, the toddler, like the newborn is switching back and forth. Supply will match the needs, so your one breast will make more if you're breastfeeding on it more frequently than, and the other will make less if you're breastfeeding on it less frequently, so switching things up can kind of keep things balanced as far as your own supply goes, and therefore your [00:19:30] engorgement and all those kinds of pieces go together.
But the other thing to consider is the fact that if your newborn is constantly breastfeeding in one particular way, so they're always, let's say, approaching the breast with their right side down and their left side up, it can create or exacerbate tension in the neck, in the jaw, that kind of thing. So switching things up can be helpful.
If your newborn's always on, let's say, the left side, you can try like a football hold where they're, you know, if they were on the left, then it would be their left side facing down [00:20:00] in a football. And they're right side facing up. And then you can just switch it to like the cradle or the cross cradle the other way.
If they're always on that same side, just to keep their head rotating, that can be really helpful for any tension in the neck and can facilitate a better and deeper latch. Um, otherwise there's no rules. You get to do whatever you'd like.
[00:20:19] Sleep while tandem breastfeeding
I want to just quickly note about sleep. So sleep and tandem feeding can actually go really well together.
If you are bed sharing with your [00:20:30] toddler and your toddler is still breastfeeding through the night. And you're bringing in a newborn, it can be helpful to add in some things like a sound machine or different pieces to help your toddler just have a smoother transition through the night. So there's less environmental things that could be waking them up, like sudden sounds or, maybe they have their own separate blanket just so that it's not being pulled off of them during the night.
Just helps them to rest more peacefully during any particular, like any wake ups during the night, [00:21:00] from your newborn. And you can add those in during pregnancy or later on if you'd like to. And particularly important with a newborn that you are following safe bed sharing guidelines if you're choosing to bed share.
Um, I will link those in the description. I'm not going to go through all of those details. And if you've already been bed sharing with a toddler, you're likely aware of them. The new thing that Now that you're bed sharing with two, what you have to keep in mind is you need to keep your toddler and your newborn separate when they're in the bed together.
So your new, your toddler can't be sleeping with [00:21:30] your newborn directly. There needs to be you in between. So many people like to have a sidecar with the newborn in the sidecar to facilitate any issues with potentially rolling.
Then you have, so the newborn, then you have you, then you have toddler, and then you have another parent on the other side if you would like. That kind of setup is really common. The nice thing about it is that you can put one kid on either side and they can both breastfeed to sleep while you fall asleep.
This can be beautiful for nap time and can mean that you're getting naps. in [00:22:00] that postpartum time period. Um, a lot of toddlers might be in a stage where they're starting to transition out of napping and not breastfeeding them to sleep might mean that they're not going to sleep. And so having them sleep with you can be really beautiful.
It can help them to get the rest that they need and help you to get the rest that you need too. I'll link some more bed sharing stuff in the description so you can go check those out if you need some more support with that. The other piece That can be helpful is having what I call a [00:22:30] breastfeeding basket.
Now, back in the day before I did a lot or solely toddler breastfeeding support, I had a guide, uh, and checklist for prenatal supplies, like for your baby registry, uh, what you need to do to get ready to breastfeed and what supplies you need. And the big thing that I talked about there was the breastfeeding basket.
Now, as a little perk for anyone who's on my email list right now, who gets emails from me. Uh, I'm going to be sending that out this week in my [00:23:00] email, so you can have a copy of that and see what I recommend around breastfeeding supplies and what you might want to consider getting or not getting, uh, if you are currently pregnant and going to be breastfeeding a newborn soon.
However, when you're tandem feeding, when you're breastfeeding at any stage, a breastfeeding basket is so wonderful, but particularly when you're tandem feeding because, or at least when you have a toddler, because you don't want to have to be getting up to go to a place to get the things when you have to watch now two children.[00:23:30]
Right? So, having a basket with all of your supplies, your snacks, your water, toys for your toddler, diapers, changing stuff, right? Like a change pad, wipes, all of those things ready to go that can go around the house with you can be so helpful, especially at night, like have it beside your bed so you don't even need to get out of bed to change diapers.
The only other thing that can be really great when you are preparing to breastfeed or in those early breastfeeding stages is Babywearing. A ring [00:24:00] sling can be beautiful for a newborn. It can help, you can breastfeed in that really easily. If you've never used one before, it can have a little bit of a learning curve.
I'll link in the description like a YouTube video or two showing you how to Get your ring sling set up. The other thing that can be helpful if you have are a more experienced baby where having a good quality woven wrap, you can back wear a newborn with a good quality wrap with experience.
So this is not a beginner move. [00:24:30] However, I did use a woven wrap a lot with my toddler when like my oldest when she was before my son was born and she was born. When my son was born, while he was still a newborn, maybe four or six weeks old, I would back wear him. I could see him over my shoulder. I checked in mirrors all the time, but that meant that I had my arms in front of me free for my toddler.
It was really helpful for me. Uh, yeah. So have your breastfeeding basket. Grab a baby carrier if you don't already have one and learn more about baby wearing. You can also [00:25:00] get a toddler carrier that can be sized specifically for, I think, the one we had started when your child could wear two t pants. So, Basically, when my toddler was about two years old, that was the youngest, the smallest that they could be for that particular carrier.
Some moms like to wear both their kids at the same time. One on the front and one on the back. So they might wear a buckle carrier with their toddler on the back and a buckle carrier with their newborn on the front or whatever combination of stretchy wrap, that kind of thing.[00:25:30]
And that can work. I liked having the toddler carrier for my husband to be able to wear our toddler while I wore the newborn, for hiking and for just out and about, right? We have a lot of fairs and events and festivals and those kinds of things close to us and we like those. So, we would go to those a lot and baby wearing, both the toddler and the newborn was just So helpful for us to, keep everyone calm and safe and feeling great.
So consider that. Okay.
[00:25:58] Common Tandem Breastfeeding Challenges
let's move into,[00:26:00] some of the common challenges. So there was a study, published in 2021 in Poland that looked at, it actually was looking at the nutritional components of breast milk and tandem feeding families. And it was really cool because they actually showed how certain aspects of.
Breast milk changed when the toddler weaned. So they analyzed the milk while they were tandem feeding. And then when the toddler weaned, they analyzed the milk again, and they were able to show some of the ways that the mother's [00:26:30] milk supply adapted after the toddler weaned.
Really, really cool. Something that they talked about in that study and that they looked at was the challenges that these mothers felt tandem breastfeeding.
[00:26:41] Challenge: Tiredness
And one of the biggest challenges was tiredness. It was interesting. They talked about tiredness and the thing that the mothers, um, like associated their tiredness with was not the fact that they had two kids, that they were breastfeeding, or the fact that two kids were waking up in the night.
It was just the fact that their newborn was waking up in the night. That was [00:27:00] what was they were feeling so tired and exhausted from. So, if you're concerned about tiredness and tandem feeding feeling like too much, I can say from my personal experience as well, the study talks about these women's experience, that it's actually the newborn waking up that makes you tired.
And that newborn, waking up It's going to wake up, likely, um, whether or not you're tandem feeding. So tandem feeding can offer you this wonderful ability to have your [00:27:30] toddler rest and go back to sleep very easily and make bedtime a lot easier. Um, so as much as tiredness can be a challenge of tandem feeding, it's also really not about tandem feeding.
It's actually just about caring for a newborn that can be particularly challenging. Now, If you know that, right off the front, you can figure out ways that you can support yourself. Maybe that looks like going to bed earlier. Maybe that looks like family napping during the day. And again, this is a short period of time.
We're not talking about this is your life forever. You're [00:28:00] always going to be going to bed at 6. I don't know. Or you're always going to be taking naps and you're never going to get anything else done. It might only be a couple months. It might only be a few weeks. It might be six months that you're going through that, but it's a defined period of time and it's going to end.
So if it feels like, I can't do that because I have too much to do, it might be worthwhile looking at what you have in your life and seeing if you can shift some things around so that you can have that need for sleep met.
[00:28:28] Challenge: Judgement
another big issue that [00:28:30] comes up with tandem feeding is just judgment. People who don't get it, lack of support, negative comments.
And it is true that tandem feeding isn't common in the Western world. It's also true that a lot of people who do tandem feed hide it. They don't talk about it. Particularly in, the medical community, it's, it's common to get negative comments from doctors, that kind of thing.
That being said, I talked about this in the pregnancy episode. But there is no [00:29:00] reason that we're aware of that you need to wean.
There are no negative impacts or effects of tandem feeding that mean that routinely you need to wean. It should not be done. I will link in the show notes a few studies and different things, that if you have a care provider who's giving you a lot of pushback or is not being very kind about it and you want to have a conversation, you can print out and bring with you.
Also, if you've never had a conversation with your care provider about it, maybe just [00:29:30] have a look through those resources so that if it comes up, comes up, you can have a couple things that you can say to, um, support yourself in those moments. I do have a whole episode on navigating judgment around extended breastfeeding, and that really applies to tandem feeding as well.
Uh, so, yeah, that can be a challenge, an unexpected challenge that can come up with tandem feeding.
[00:29:52] Challenge: Nursing Aversion
Another one would be nursing aversion. Now, uh, I talked about this in the last episode, but, uh, And I'm not going to say a ton [00:30:00] about it here, but I will just quickly define it. Nursing aversion is that skin crawly feeling or feeling touched out, um, this urge to kind of like unlatch your child or shove them off while they're breastfeeding.
And it's real. It's a real phenomenon. It is not well studied. Uh, Zainab Yate has a book about it. She's had a podcast and she's done at least one or more. I think she's done more than one study on, uh, nursing aversion. And I was just looking at one of her studies, again, I'll [00:30:30] link it in the show notes, and the interesting thing that she talked about was that in this survey that she did, which I think had, I don't know, 600 or more people respond to it, only 22 percent of people who identified as having nursing aversion were tandem feeding, and only 11 percent were pregnant, which means that, the majority of people who she surveyed who were experiencing nursing aversion were actually only breastfeeding one child.
Child. Is not a guarantee that just because you're Breastfeeding through [00:31:00] pregnancy or tandem feeding that you're going to experience nursing aversion. In fact, many people experience it without those things.
The majority do according to this particular piece of research. Now, in general, there's no real research around the management and treatment of nursing aversion. The recommendations, there's not, there's not, I shouldn't say the recommendations because there's not really like generalized recommendations for nursing aversion, unfortunately.
There are people who talk about it. Um, There are [00:31:30] websites, there are blogs, that kind of stuff. Now, we know that there's likely a hormonal link to nursing aversion. Um, some ways to treat it that are anecdotal, but some moms have found that these things really help could be taking a magnesium supplement and ideally, uh, chelated magnesium or magnesium glycinate.
There are other vitamins and minerals that might play a role in nursing aversion, but we [00:32:00] can look at this, like, we don't have a lot of research around it, so
if you're experiencing nursing aversion, it might be worthwhile having some blood work done and seeing if you're deficient in anything so that you know what you can target with supplements if necessary. Taking your prenatal vitamin while you're breastfeeding can be helpful to just make sure that if you are depleted in any areas that you've got those bases covered.
As well, of course, taking care of yourself, right? Emotionally taking care of yourself, finding connection, friends. That [00:32:30] wonderfulness. Taking those family naps as needed. Eating. Eat. Make sure that you're eating food and drinking water to thirst. I talked about this in pregnancy as well, but it's applicable here.
We're talking about tandem feeding. Nourish your body. Take care of yourself. All of those things are really important when we're talking about nursing aversion. Uh, the last challenge I would say that can come up isn't really unique to tandem feeding. Um, It can be just [00:33:00] experienced when you're having a second baby.
Uh, would be unexpected guilt or negative emotions in general. And this can happen because, you know, maybe you thought that it was going to be different than it is. So, you just, you thought that your toddler was going to love their Younger sibling and they seem indifferent, or maybe your spouse is having a hard time, or maybe you're having a hard time, right?
There's so many things that could come up. Gender disappointment, right? Like all of these things [00:33:30] that we can experience as a new second time mom.
As well, it can be common, um, To feel like you were able to give your oldest more of yourself when they were a newborn than you are to your second child. It can also feel like you have to not give your toddler as much attention as you wish you could because you have to tend to this newborn. So you can feel like you're really stuck in the middle there.
And that might be, You might not have anticipated that [00:34:00] when it's happening. Um, be honest with yourself about those things that are coming up. And of course, get support from a therapist or talk to friends, those kinds of things. Being honest that you're feeling that way is a really great place to start.
Talking to your partner, those people in your life, um, can be really, really helpful. You will be going through big ordeals. emotional swings, hormonal swings in those first couple of weeks postpartum. Give yourself grace for that. And of course, if [00:34:30] they're lingering on, then reach out for some support around potentially postpartum mood disorders like anxiety, depression, et cetera.
[00:34:37] Benefits of Tandem Breastfeeding[00:34:37] Greater milk supply
Okay. Let's talk about a few of the benefits of tandem breastfeeding. So a huge benefit is that you are likely to have greater and easier milk volume when you're tandem nursing than when you're not tandem nursing. So, Your toddler is efficient at getting that milk out and the fact that they are breastfeeding can help to [00:35:00] compensate if your little one, if your newborn is struggling at all with latching or, um, you know, you're just having a little bit of a harder time in the beginning stage, your toddler can help just keep things at an even keel and make sure that your body is Getting signaled to produce milk and that can really be a load off of your mind as far as your supply goes.
So if that toddler is there breastfeeding, even if your newborn is having a little bit of a harder time catching up, the fact that your toddler is nursing can just continue to signal it to your body to make [00:35:30] milk. which means that when your newborn is able to come back or breastfeed more effectively, you're not going to be having to rebuild your supply at that same time.
It can be really, really helpful.
[00:35:40] Less Engorgement
Another wonderful benefit is less engorgement. So the fact that your toddler is breastfeeding, , can help to take the edge off any engorgement that you're experiencing in those early postpartum days where you might've had to pump or hand express otherwise, your toddler breastfeeding can bring down that early engorgement
[00:36:00] Toddler health & nutritional benefits
[00:36:00] As well. There are tons of health benefits for your toddler. Of course, all of the wonderful benefits of extended breastfeeding of, you know, full term breastfeeding continue on when you're tandem feeding.
So your toddler continues to get really important nutrition from. your breast milk. And like I said earlier, uh, we have evidence that your milk, even when you're tandem nursing, it's going to meet your newborn's nutritional needs and it's still uniquely adapting to meet your toddler's nutritional needs too.
Of course, there's [00:36:30] immunological support that is continuing to happen, uh, while your toddler's breastfeeding.
[00:36:35] Makes parenting easier
And let's not forget that breastfeeding can just be that easy button in your parenting, particularly postpartum. It can be the thing that when everyone's having a hard time, when your toddler's really wound up, when they're feeling a lot of big emotions, whatever's happening, breastfeeding can be a thing that can calm and connect both of you.
and allow you that space. Uh, so that is a wonderful benefit [00:37:00] of tandem breastfeeding and it was a reason that I chose to tandem breastfeed, even though I was experiencing postpartum anxiety and I had PTSD and different things that maybe would have made it seem like I should have been doing things to lessen the amount of parenting, lessen my load, um, in a lot of ways.
However, I found that breastfeeding did lessen my load. It did make it easier for me to be the parent that I wanted to be for my toddler during that postpartum time. It can allow for more rest, like I've said, family [00:37:30] naps, right? Those calming times.
[00:37:32] Better sibling bond
And it can support a really beautiful sibling bond. It is so wonderful to watch.
Your two little kiddos hold hands while they're both latched. Um, I loved that. Now, of course, you can tend and breastfeed without ever having your children latched at the same time, but it really can just be an easier way to transition your toddler into becoming a sibling too, right? You can keep that kind of like thread of continuity for your toddler through the pregnancy and through this postpartum time period.
That [00:38:00] is, is really different for them, right? It's a new dynamic for them. Okay, that wraps up the Tandem feeding episode. I know that I was only able to touch on things, not really deep into, go deep into things. But I hope that it gave you some things to think about, some things to have conversations about with your partner and with your support system in your life.
And I would love to know what about these episodes have really resonated [00:38:30] with you because they were all three of them were more top level. Um, and I can go deeper on them in this season of Start to Stop Toddler Breastfeeding and, uh, get you more information about those things as well. The things that really piqued your interest, the things that you want to learn more about.
So please send me an email, um, jenna at ownyourparentingstory. com. I would love to hear from you, hear what resonated with and, uh, what things you would love to learn more about. All right. That's all from me today. I will catch you later.[00:39:00]