[00:00:00] Dori Durbin: Welcome to the Power of Kids Books, where we believe books are a catalyst to empower and inspire change. I'm your host, Dori Durbin. Does your child use a binky pleasing your child is one of the joys of being a parent, and yet, could a binky be causing other less pleasing issues later? Today's guest is an early development expert with a background in speech pathology, who is also the author of All Done Binky, a children's book to support families with babies and toddlers weeding off their pacifiers.
[00:00:34] Dori Durbin: Her ability to easily connect and communicate with babies has led her also to provide coaching services and found her own organization, baby Blooming moments.com to help parents enrich the way they interact. With their babies and toddlers. So welcome to the show, Michelle.
[00:00:52] MIchelle Mintz: Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
[00:00:54] Dori Durbin: It IS so good to have you. And of course, I have to ask, with your background as a [00:01:00] speech pathologist and everything else you do, just how bad are binkies really?
[00:01:07] MIchelle Mintz: Yeah, from my point of view, binkies are great because we need them for soothing, and it's not to take away that self-soothing need that infants.
[00:01:17] MIchelle Mintz: Have, but when we get beyond that infant stage and we need to find something else to self-soothe because binky can cause speech and language delays. Doesn't mean it always will, but it definitely can. And when it does it's a lot to fix them and work at.
[00:01:44] Dori Durbin: Yeah. I noticed, and this is a tough connection, but I love to chew gum and I find that when I chew gum, I tend to not say as much or I look for just specific opportunities to, respond to [00:02:00] something.
[00:02:00] Dori Durbin: Somebody asks it's harder for me to think about actually talking because my mouth is already satisfied. Is that kinda what happens with babies too?
[00:02:08] MIchelle Mintz: A lot of them, but I, but what happens actually is they talk or make sounds with the binky in their mouth. And so that is really what creates the most problems because their tongue can't move in the proper position it needs to and all the other.
[00:02:28] MIchelle Mintz: They're called articulators. The parts of the mouth and the face that work to produce sounds. If there's a binky in there and they're producing sounds or trying to talk with the binky in their mouth. The teeth, the tongue, everything can't be where they're supposed to be to produce the sounds accurately.
[00:02:47] MIchelle Mintz: So then they actually learn to produce them inaccurately. So then when the KY comes out, they're not saying their sounds properly, so it's actually interfered with their speech [00:03:00] production.
[00:03:01] Dori Durbin: Okay. That makes a lot of sense. And maybe is a good reason for people to really consider, not starting or at least not letting them have it for a long time.
[00:03:10] Dori Durbin: Do you have a preference which one people typically
[00:03:13] MIchelle Mintz: use? I know that's what's really tricky because it's pretty much a, a pacifier. Does what it, what its name is. And so from that moment that baby is born and that infant, and then we, stick something because that is the only way they really know how to sue themselves, in right now.
[00:03:28] MIchelle Mintz: So I don't say not to give it but I want people to be aware of when they're using it. So once you start giving it to, an infant's going to need it when they're crying, but let's talk about a three and four month old then. If the child is just strolling in their stroller and just going along the, if there's not a need for it to be in there, they're not upset, they're not crying.
[00:03:54] MIchelle Mintz: It doesn't need to pacify, then I would prefer that it not be in there. [00:04:00] So that's where my issues become, is that I see kids have it where they're just having it to have it, and then they just end up chewing on it and sucking it. But they, it's not really because they need it. So it's not serving the purpose anymore.
[00:04:13] MIchelle Mintz: And then they get used to it, and then that's what creates the problem. So it's much easier to wean if you only use it and for the purpose it's served for. Yeah.
[00:04:24] Dori Durbin: So were you seeing a lot of incidences with toddlers having the pacifier just to soothe and that's what prompted you to actually write the kids' books?
[00:04:33] MIchelle Mintz: I have A lot of kids that I work with that they, what happens is the tongue gets thrust forward. So I know you're not gonna be able to see me, but they end up talking like this. And you can probably hear it on the podcast that the tongue is coming forward and then the sounds are not right. So when a child is coming in talking to me like that, and if I ask if there's a pacifier and the answer is yes, I [00:05:00] often can.
[00:05:01] MIchelle Mintz: Pretty much make that correlation to that's what's going on. And so we need to pull that plug, we need to pull that pacifier and reteach that child how to produce their sounds correctly so that they're not speaking in with tongue.
[00:05:18] Dori Durbin: And that's what kind of got you going
[00:05:20] MIchelle Mintz: with the book then, and that's Yeah.
[00:05:21] MIchelle Mintz: I was seeing a lot of children who were coming in with that and parents weren't realizing that it was the pacifier that was doing it. And once we got rid of the pacifier and worked on some of the sounds that we were able to improve it, but if we had continued with that pacifier, that would've continued.
[00:05:36] MIchelle Mintz: And the reason I wrote all done Binky is because there are books about getting rid of a pacifier out there. They're mostly for maybe two and a half or three or four year olds where there's a long story to it where the fairy comes, the pacifier fairy and we give it to them and it's a whole story.
[00:05:55] MIchelle Mintz: And I want parents to start reading a book about getting rid of [00:06:00]pacifiers, starting at almost six or seven months old, and they can't understand a story, even a one-year-old, or that 18 month old that we, definitely want that pacifier gone. They can't understand a full story. So there weren't any books out there that were really geared for the age group that I wanted to tackle.
[00:06:19] MIchelle Mintz: And with simple pictures. And simple words. So I had to write one myself.
[00:06:24] Dori Durbin: That's perfect. I'm all for that. That's fantastic. So you have all done binky there right now? I think. Would you be willing to read us 30 seconds of it?
[00:06:37] MIchelle Mintz: I absolutely would, but you're gonna have to tell me when those 30 seconds are up.
[00:06:40] Dori Durbin: Okay. I'll try to
[00:06:41] MIchelle Mintz: time you. Okay. I just mentioned that my all done Binky book is dedicated to my son, Ryan, for all that you've been, for all that you are, and for all that you will be all done. Binky, open [00:07:00] Binky. Binky in stroller. Binky in car, Binky in chair. Binky in bed. Baby is bigger. All done. Binky in stroller, baby is bigger.
[00:07:23] MIchelle Mintz: All done. Binky in car baby is bigger. All done. Binky in chair, baby is bigger. All done, Binky in bed, and the rest you'll have to hear when you purchase. All done Binky on Amazon.
[00:07:50] Dori Durbin: I love it and I could, I, of course our listeners can't see the pictures, but just the vision of the baby getting bigger and in the same locations and [00:08:00] being told you don't really, you, you didn't say you can't have your binky anymore.
[00:08:04] Dori Durbin: You said Baby is binker all done binky, like it's.
[00:08:08] MIchelle Mintz: Tell, talk to me about that. Yeah. When I show the baby getting bigger, the baby is by a teddy bear, and so it shows how the baby is growing in comparison to the teddy bear. And so that's a way to be able to see the baby getting bigger. Yeah.
[00:08:22] Dori Durbin: Yeah. So have you had any feedback on your book and how kids relate to it?
[00:08:27] MIchelle Mintz: Yes, very much. In fact, I just got an email today that somebody else purchased my book just today. So that was very exciting. Yes. And because again, it's not even just a read when you read to children, it's not just about reading the words, it's about pointing out the pictures, talking about the colors, talking about what you're seeing.
[00:08:45] MIchelle Mintz: Oh, look at the baby. He's wearing a yellow blanket, because there's so much language and vocabulary. Filled with books and reading. Engaging with your babies and toddlers. It's not just reading, [00:09:00] but it's how you read that really makes the biggest impact. I have a great reading strategy that I would love to coach you on.
[00:09:07] MIchelle Mintz: Give me give me a call, 4 2 4 2 2 6. Oh six, let me know. I'll be happy to help you.
[00:09:14] Dori Durbin: Love it. Love it. And I love that you're not afraid to point that out too, because I know when when you're working with parents, I would assume that sometimes you run into a situation where they want to maybe have their child experience specific things in the process that they want to use, and yet they're probably having situations that they can't do by themselves.
[00:09:40] Dori Durbin: And so it's probably one of those really big struggles that they have where they want people to help, but they're not doing it exactly the way that they would do themselves. Yes. Yeah. On your website, what came to my mind with all that is that you have some resources about having grandparents.
[00:09:58] Dori Durbin: Watch your kids, about [00:10:00] having nannies. Watch your kids babysitters, watch your kids. How do you help parents feel more comfortable with other people? Watching your kids in a way that's not exactly the way you do it.
[00:10:10] MIchelle Mintz: That's true, but when I coach for baby blooming moments, I'm coaching the same strategies.
[00:10:14] MIchelle Mintz: So I'll coach the same. I have an eye contact strategy and like I said, a reading strategy to engage more with babies and toddlers. So I'm gonna coach that to the mom and then I'll coach that to the grandmother or the nanny. So everybody is doing the same strategy. So it does help. To have, consistency.
[00:10:34] MIchelle Mintz: I know not everybody is exactly the same, but with baby blooming moments and everybody getting more on the same page of using the same strategies, maybe with their own little tweak or their own little tone of voice. But then it's, we're gonna see a lot of that growth and blooming with that baby because they're getting it everywhere.
[00:10:52] MIchelle Mintz: That's, yeah, that's what Baby blooming moments helps, is getting. Everybody a little bit more consistently on the same page with some really great proactive [00:11:00]strategies.
[00:11:01] Dori Durbin: You do. You find that a lot of parents don't realize how much of a impact or role they have in their baby's brain development
[00:11:08] MIchelle Mintz: early on hugely that I, in fact, I just did a I do talks with for.
[00:11:13] MIchelle Mintz: Groups all the time to preschool teachers to to mommy groups. I just did a presentation to pediatricians before I came on to talk to you about coming back to those early years. Pediatricians. See birth to 18, that's a lot of years. Those early birth to three years. Those are the critical years for brain development.
[00:11:36] MIchelle Mintz: There are neurons that haven't connected yet and the way they connect are by the experiences that they have and during the first three years of life, babies' experiences are all through their grownups and adults. So we need to make sure that we're providing enriching experiences absolutely. Yeah.
[00:11:54] Dori Durbin: Yeah. And I remember reading something also about this social emotional and you just [00:12:00] meant mentioned the mental development, but that we have an ability to affect that development from baby up as well. So how do you help a baby develop social skills or emotional skills
[00:12:12] MIchelle Mintz: early on?
[00:12:13] MIchelle Mintz: It's hard to imagine thinking about working with a, a a very young baby and their social skills. But and that is where actually the birth to three, I call it like the lost population because of the Covid babies. Babies that were born during the covid lockdown. Are behind their studies and they're on my website.
[00:12:31] MIchelle Mintz: They're behind on their developmental most milestones and a lot of their social skills because they were isolated and the only home they knew was the home that they were in for those two years, let's say. And so they don't know that there's a lot of pre-verbal skills that go on learning in that birth to three years.
[00:12:51] MIchelle Mintz: A lot of important skills that people don't really think about. So all the talk about covid and what happened to the children, A lot of focus is on elementary [00:13:00] school and high school and college, but nobody really talked about what happened to the children who were one and two years old. 'cause we didn't really think about it.
[00:13:07] MIchelle Mintz: They were impacted very deeply by not being able to go to the Mommy and Me classes and the gym classes. Their pre-verbal skills, their, what we call social skills, their ability to look at other people and hold eye contact and attend to other people. Their ability to to smile. I. Other people.
[00:13:28] MIchelle Mintz: Those are, that's a social skill. That's an important social skill that is needs to be developed early on. And when the only people you saw were the only people you saw, and then all of a sudden you're placed outside that world and you're supposed to smile at all these people you've never seen before, and you don't really know what a smile is because of the masks, it's really affected their brain development. And so it's crucial. It's not only so much that it would be nice, it's actually crucial that parents of children with babies born during the [00:14:00] Covid pandemic get help and bridge the gap, which is something I can do with baby blooming moments. I coach my strategies so that the parents are doing things with the children that help them with their social skills so that it increases their eye contact and increases their smiles and builds those skills that didn't get built.
[00:14:24] Dori Durbin: So fascinating. You wouldn't think that there would be that much of a difference. But as you're speaking and talking about faces being covered and all of those things that we just take for granted that babies just even their limited sight as far as the distance that they can see, yes. It's faces that they see, they don't see, yeah.
[00:14:42] Dori Durbin: Know things far
[00:14:43] MIchelle Mintz: away. Wow. And imagine for two years those faces were covered by a mask. And we know people's emotions a lot because of whether I have a smile or a frown or a growl on my face, not even what I'm saying. But nonverbal communication is [00:15:00] 80 to 90% of what we what we perceive, what we take in.
[00:15:04] MIchelle Mintz: So without having that, those facial expressions for babies to learn, they don't even know, and we say, what is a sad face? What is a happy face? They don't know.
[00:15:15] Dori Durbin: Wow. Wow. And if you notice let me back it up a second. How would you know that you really need to. Focus in on that that maybe your baby is actually behind.
[00:15:27] Dori Durbin: Because I think a lot of times people think babies just sleep and they eat and Yeah.
[00:15:31] MIchelle Mintz: That's all they do. They're just lumps they're
[00:15:34] Dori Durbin: right. I don't think that, but
[00:15:35] MIchelle Mintz: I think people do, but a lot of people do. Yeah. And they're not, they're taking in and they're learning every day by whatever is around them and surrounding them.
[00:15:44] MIchelle Mintz: And a lot of people don't know that. And so that's where I am. Educating and doing a lot of podcasts and trying to get the word out there about how important these first three years of life are and how we need to make sure to really focus on them in different ways than we think that [00:16:00] we need to.
[00:16:00] MIchelle Mintz: Not just diapering and bathing and feeding, not just caring for those needs, but we need to care for the deeper needs as well.
[00:16:08] Dori Durbin: I know we had talked at one time about eye contact and being verbal, and you had I swear you had a trick to get eye
[00:16:17] MIchelle Mintz: contact. Yes, I do. It's one of my favorite strategies.
[00:16:21] MIchelle Mintz: Absolutely. It's a little bit harder to understand. Not so much though, I guess by podcasts without without showing, but eye contact. I keep talking about eye contact and most people think, don't really think much about eye contact at all. But when you're having a conversation with somebody, you look at them when you're talking to them, that is the proper way, and you really look into their eyes when you're talking to them.
[00:16:43] MIchelle Mintz: If you don't, it doesn't feel like they're listening or they're really communicating with you. So eye contact and looking at people's faces during conversation is very important. So we want babies and toddlers to be looking at our eyes and our face while we're talking to them so they can see [00:17:00] how words are formed and they can read our faces.
[00:17:02] MIchelle Mintz: So they're gonna often look at the object that they want. So whether it's a bottle, or a car, or a horse or whatever it might be. If you hold that object far from you, that's where they're going to look. But if you take that object and you put it by your eyes, and what I'm doing is I'm holding a car right next to my eyes right now, then it's very easy to shift your eyes from the object.
[00:17:32] MIchelle Mintz: To my eyes and I'm gonna get a lot more eye contact, a lot more engagement. And then I can say, oh, you want the car? And then that baby smiles, and then we got a smile and another connection in the brain, and then I can give them the car. So I've gotten more attention from them. They've didn't get the car right away, but they had to wait.
[00:17:54] MIchelle Mintz: They looked at me, we had a moment. They learned the name of the word. We had a smile, [00:18:00] and then they got it. That is a much mutter, much healthier, better engagement, and more enriching for that baby than just handing them over the car.
[00:18:11] Dori Durbin: Or telling them, look
[00:18:12] MIchelle Mintz: at me. Look at me. Or tell them, yeah, look at me when I'm talking to you.
[00:18:15] MIchelle Mintz: That gets old really fast. I love that strategy because you can use that from infancy to baby to toddlerhood to even teenagers. Husbands. 'cause if you take even teenagers, you take their cell phone and you hold it by their eyes and then you get them looking at you when you want their attention.
[00:18:34] Dori Durbin: So with husbands, do you have to open the phone? Oh,
[00:18:40] Dori Durbin: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love that because I think you're right. I think, especially as they get to be toddlers, their attention span is so short anyway. They're so distractible that having something that they really want close to your face really would, it would draw them in for at least that brief moment.
[00:18:57] Dori Durbin: And make that connection. That's
[00:18:58] MIchelle Mintz: awesome. That brief moment, [00:19:00] and then you can be that. What I do is then I elongate that moment and I make it on purpose longer before they get there. Car or their bottle or their reward or what it is, because that helps. Their tolerance of waiting when we have to wait, waiting for our turn and waiting for things is really hard.
[00:19:19] MIchelle Mintz: So if we can teach that ability to wait and have patience for something early, and you can do that by just holding off on that object. Not if they're crying, but if you've got them engaged and you're like, oh, it's the blue car. It goes fast. Ooh, you like your car, and they're just engaged and happy, not having it right away.
[00:19:40] MIchelle Mintz: That is all, very beneficial to extend that time between what they want and the reward. That instant gratification that we all know about Amazon now Instagram, now, but, so let's go back and let's teach some, some waiting 'cause that is life.
[00:19:57] Dori Durbin: Yeah. Yeah. I love that.[00:20:00] Now I know you might not wanna give all your secrets away, but I did see it on your website.
[00:20:06] Dori Durbin: You are a toy organizer.
[00:20:08] Dori Durbin: Yeah. A TOY-GANIZER!
[00:20:11] Dori Durbin: How did. YOU SAY THAT?
[00:20:13] Dori Durbin: I love that. And maybe you can tell 'em what that is and why that relates to babies. 'cause I think this is so
[00:20:20] MIchelle Mintz: cool. Yeah, sure. Babies and toddlers like area where their toys are and their shelves It should be organized in some fashion.
[00:20:29] MIchelle Mintz: And so I often will go into homes for baby blooming moments and in order to enrich language if babies and if they have access to all their toys already, they can just go and grab the car or grab this or grab that. There's no need to engage with an adult. So I often come in and toy-ganize. I organize the toys I like I'm not gonna tell you what I like, because then you're just gonna go out and do it without needing me, so I won't tell you how I organize [00:21:00] them.
[00:21:00] MIchelle Mintz: I'll keep that a secret. But they need, if they're organized, if they're in things that can't be opened. A child needs help opening, then they're required to ask you for help or open, and then you engage. So you're tweaking their need to have to communicate and need your help. And That's what I, if I and there's ways to organize puzzles so you don't get those puzzle pieces all lost and then you, as the mom or the dad at night are having to put a puzzle together that you didn't really wanna do.
[00:21:34] MIchelle Mintz: So keeping things organized and the Toys, helps with communication and. And engagement that where your toddler needs you to engage. And so it makes playing more fun and more engaging and more enriching.
[00:21:52] Dori Durbin: That's awesome. And your house neater on top of that?
[00:21:55] MIchelle Mintz: Yes. Yeah. And you get the of a neater house.
[00:21:58] MIchelle Mintz: Yes. Because everything goes in its
[00:21:59] Dori Durbin: [00:22:00] place. Yes. That's awesome. Okay, so I won't ask for all your secrets. I'll ask for one side one.
[00:22:09] Dori Durbin: So what advice would you give parents if they want to get started, let's say today they wanna get started and really interact with their babies in a way that's gonna progress their brain development. Do you have any advice of something they can do
[00:22:24] MIchelle Mintz: today? I do. One of the biggest things that I find that I that I'm telling parents is, you need to slow down.
[00:22:34] MIchelle Mintz: We anticipate a lot of what babies and toddlers' needs are. They need this open, they need something picked up 'cause it fell. They need help with this. And we do it before we even give them a chance to express that they need help. And that expression might be in a word, help. If it's before a word, they're gonna hand it to you.
[00:22:57] MIchelle Mintz: They might cry. Those [00:23:00] are all expressions, and that's their communication. So slow it down. We need to wait and listen and pause more pausing and watching how is your baby or toddler communicating to you? Allow them to communicate, whether again, it's a cry or what it is, but allow for that communication and then you respond.
[00:23:29] MIchelle Mintz: Don't take away that opportunity for them to communicate, which we often do. We pick it up because it fell off the height chair, or we take that bag of goldfish and we open it and then give it to them because we know they can't open it. I give it to them closed, and I know they can't open it because then they try and open it and then they have to somehow tell me that they need help, and then that's my opportunity to engage.
[00:23:58] MIchelle Mintz: So slow [00:24:00] down and watch and observe your babies and toddlers ways they're communicating to you so you know how best to respond back to them.
[00:24:10] Dori Durbin: Awesome advice. Awesome advice. Okay. You've gotta give it to them and tell them where they can find you and where they can find your book. 'cause I think they all want coaching now.
[00:24:21] MIchelle Mintz: Absolutely. So yeah, my coaching program, so I do it in person. I'm in Santa Monica, California, but I'm happy to fly out anywhere that anybody would like me to fly to if you're, paying for my flight. I'm also happy to coach. I coach a lot virtually, so you don't have to pay for a flight for me to come and coach you.
[00:24:37] MIchelle Mintz: I can coach you from my home office and from the comfort of your home, and I help grab moments, baby blooming moments. I grab the moments in real time and give you in that moment what it is that you should be doing. Can not, should be. Can be doing that's gonna help enrich those moments. So you can find me, my website, baby blooming [00:25:00] moments.com.
[00:25:00] MIchelle Mintz: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube. They're all at baby blooming moments. All done Binky is on Amazon. Put all done Binky book into the search and that will come up. You can email me michelle@babybloomingmoments.com. You can call me, I think I said it before, but 4 2 4-2 2 6-2 2 0 6. I give free 30 minute consultations.
[00:25:26] MIchelle Mintz: There's no reason why you shouldn't call me to talk about your specific situation and how might be able to tailor make my coaching strategies to fit exactly what your needs are. Or sometimes you don't even know that you need me, but you do. You can benefit for sure. Some say it's never too late. I say it's never too early.
[00:25:50] MIchelle Mintz: Perfect.
[00:25:51] Dori Durbin: I am excited for anyone who reaches out to talk to you and anyone who grabs your book. I think that's fabulous and honestly, such great [00:26:00] resources. Michelle.
[00:26:01] MIchelle Mintz: Thank you. Thank you for having me.
