Regardless of whether they were mothers themselves, each one wanted to give more of themselves and connect more with others, after their challenge, after their homecoming. But they wanted to do so on their own terms.
Welcome to the Selfish Mama Matters Podcast with your host, and my mom, Tina Unrue.
Well, hello there, mamas. It is just me today, Tina Unrue. I am so happy that you're here. I have no guests with me today. In fact, I'm winding down season one of the podcast with some reflections. Over the next three episodes, I'll break down the good, the bad, and the selfish from the season.
The only way that I know how to grow and evolve in life is by reflecting on what's happened, or is presently happening in our lives, so that we can not just experience life, but use it as a springboard for the future. So consider these reflections as a bit of a behind-the-scenes look into how I live and work.
[00:01:11] Why I'm Sharing Reflections
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I'm sharing these reflections with you for two reasons. One, as a life coach for moms, I know that many moms don't pause to reflect much. And I get it. Life can be a lot. It can be hard to find the time. So I thought sharing their reflections with you might serve those of you who feel a bit new to it and want to hear how someone else does it.
And two, despite the series being reflections about a podcast, some of the reflections can be applied across a variety of life experiences. I have no doubt that some of the information will be useful to you, even if you don't do a podcast, even if you don't plan to do one. I promise. So let's dive in.
In today's episode, I'm going to be sharing three overarching things that I felt were good, or went well, this season. And each thing has their own sub-parts. So I'll break down each one.
[00:02:13] 1. Guests
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So the first good thing that happened this season was that I had guests. And man and they had so many insights. So one of the great things was that the 11 guests jumped at the opportunity to be a part of this new podcast.
Uh, another good thing is the fact that their stories validated my experience and belief that we are on this earth to come back home to ourselves. I cannot tell you how incredible that was and more on that in a few episodes when I talk about, uh, the selfish from the podcast.
Another good thing from my guests and their stories is that there were common and repeated themes throughout the interviews. And it goes without saying that each woman interviewed, shared her own homecoming. And there was some kind of challenge or struggle that each of them navigated that helped them realize their own significance in the world and in their own life. And regardless of whether they were mothers themselves, each one wanted to give more of themselves and connect more with others, after their challenge, after their homecoming. But they wanted to do so on their own terms. I found that to be such a beautiful representation of why selfishness is not always a bad thing.
They no longer showed up to their life, trying to figure out how to fit in. Instead, they started to craft a life around what they wanted to fit within it.
A woman's realization of her own worth and her place in the world inevitably contributes to the rise of others. I believe that to my core. And I also felt that that concept was validated over and over again by each and every guest. I am so honored to have met every single one of them, to have learned from them, and to have shared their stories with you.
[00:04:39] 2. Fear
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So the second thing that I wanted to include today is overcoming fear. Now fear in and of itself, of course, is probably counterintuitive to be considering including here in, in something that I'm saying is good. But it is because as long as fear is not related to our safety and wellbeing, then fear is just, you know, an excuse to keep us from things that we want. And so that was certainly true in my case with the podcast. And so I just wanted to break down some of those fears that I had, and that I feel like I pushed through.
[00:05:24] 2. Fear: Guest Engagement
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So the first is guest engagement. Uh, I'm an introvert. I don't consider myself a great conversationalist by any means. Um, I was so nervous about interviewing people. I had never met my guests really with the exception of, like I said, a couple of people with minimal engagement. I had not met them. I had not heard of their stories. And so I was really concerned about asking the right questions, um, navigating the conversation well. Trying to do it in a reasonable amount of time for each episode. At the end of the day, I was really nervous about how my guests would view me as a host and whether I was adequate at the job. It was my first time.
[00:06:17] 2. Fear: Idea Validation
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Another fear was the idea validation. I mentioned this before. Um, even before my fears about engaging with the guests and navigating a conversation, I feared that I wouldn't have any guests. It's a new podcast. I didn't know what I was doing yet. And oftentimes I still don't know what I'm doing. I'm figuring it out along the way. And I didn't know that people would jump on board with the concept of selfishness being a good thing, especially in motherhood.
[00:06:53] 2. Fear: The Unknown
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Another big fear is really just the unknown. I didn't know how this podcast would play out. Meaning, I didn't know if it would prove to be a good marketing tool for my business, a good marketing tool for my guests, if it would be helpful for you, the listeners.
I certainly knew my plan going in was to validate the idea that selfishness needs to be turned on its head. I knew that I need to help moms come home to themselves. That was pretty much the limit of what I knew. How everything else plays out with this podcast is a complete unknown.
I can't say how everything's going to play out. The fear of that unknown is already a good thing because I followed my intuition to do something outside of my comfort zone, do something that felt like it was a calling to me. And so in that respect, it's already paid off. It's paid off in the relationship with myself because I honored that calling and I trusted in myself to be able to pull this off and to learn along the way.
[00:08:18] 2. Fear: Listener Feedback
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Another fear was listener feedback. I can't control what you, the listener, have decided is important to you and whether you're going to resonate with this. But what I, what I have to trust in is that where I am and the things that I am finding valuable right now is going to find it's people. It's going to resonate with you if you are in a similar spot. It's going to make sense for you if it needs to make sense for you. And so for those who might be listening, who just really don't get it, don't find value in the podcast, I have to be able to let go of that and know that my journey is not meant to resonate with some people and have to be okay with that.
[00:09:13] 2. Fear: Consistency
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Another fear is consistency. I could spend an entire podcast talking about how much I loathe the word consistency. But I'm not going to do that today because this is season one reflections. And so my fear around consistency was about not being consistent enough.
I really struggled with whether to do the podcast seasonally or whether to commit to doing it weekly. And if I do it by season, how long should a season be? And how often should I release an episode? And if I'm releasing weekly, what if I get burned out? And what if I run out of things to say?
It just went on and on. And something that I've learned in having a relationship with myself is to recognize when I'm in that mode of doubt and questioning and overwhelm. And it usually means I need to pull back and, you know, do my own reflection and figure out what it is that I feel most comfortable doing that I can commit to so that I can move forward.
And the short answer to that was to do seasons versus weekly episodes. I'm so proud of myself for choosing seasons. As I mentioned in the intro for season one, I really feel like one of the things that I have had to keep practicing is how to build in time proactively for rest. I used to be someone who would hustle and then rest was, you know, something usually thrust upon me because my body gave out. I got sick or just exhausted and burned out. And I saw rest as like the necessary part of the vicious cycle of, you know, hustle, recover, hustle, recover.
And I'm trying to recreate my relationship with work so that I can proactively build in rest while I also proactively work hard.
While it was an initial fear that I didn't know if I was doing it, quote unquote right, I've found out that doing your podcast comes with all of your own rules for the most part. And so I'm loving this aspect and I'm really happy that I chose a seasonal distribution.
Thinking through different fears that I had about the podcast, you know, it was just mental drama that I, and inarguably most people, would experience with anything that's new. I can't say for sure whether all of this mental drama is part of everybody's experience, but I can say for sure that the majority of moms that I have dialogued with, that I've coached, they've all sensed these types of fears when going out of their comfort zone. And it just really makes a lot of sense. We are used to living and doing things in a certain way that feel very comfortable. And when we do something that is new and strange and hard, we're clearly, I think, going to doubt ourselves. You can call it imposter syndrome. You can call whatever you want. I don't even necessarily feel like we have to label it.
It is just the self doubt that comes with doing something new. And I'm here for it. I didn't let it stop me.
[00:13:01] 3. Learning
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And this leads me into the third and final thing that I want to cover during this podcast, which is learning.
I opened myself up to learn. Not just learn how to do a podcast, but learn how to interview, to learn how to do the backend solicitation for guests, to learn how to edit a podcast, to learn how to distribute a podcast, to select from the variety of podcasts hosts and all the things. I allowed myself to be a student.
As we wrap up, I think that that is one of the, you know, biggest things that I think it's just so good about the podcast is that. I allowed myself to be new at something and to suck at it possibly. And it definitely felt like I was sucking for a while. We have to be able to give ourselves permission to continue learning. I think a lot of us got messages when we were younger that once we were out of school, that was it. Learning was over.
And that is a false notion. We have to be able to give ourselves permission to continue to learn and to grow and to mature. And as mothers, we get to do that alongside of our kids. I really feel like that's the job of motherhood is to role model, constant learning and evolution as a human.
For now, that is it. Most of my interviews this season have been quite lengthy. And so I hope that you appreciate this shorter episode today. Thank you for listening and thank you for joining me to listen about reflections from season one, the good.
Next up, the bad.
And if you feel like I missed anything that you felt was good from the season, I would love to hear from you. So please drop me a note on Instagram and let me know your thoughts.
Tina Unrue: If you enjoyed this episode, I would be deeply honored if you would leave us a review, share the podcast, rate the podcast just so that other mamas who might need to hear this message can find it and maybe get the same benefit that you did. Thank you all for being here. Thank you for daring to be selfish, and we hope to see you next time.
