When Julee's oldest son, Andrew, came face to face with the chaos of a hit-and-run, we couldn't help but confront the complicated dance with law enforcement and the evolving legal landscape of such incidents. This week's episode starts with a narration of that day and spirals into a larger conversation about the balance of life's hardships with its more tender moments, like the infectious love story of Travis and Taylor. We examine the curious phenomenon of skepticism that shadows public happiness, especially when it's wrapped up in the glittering lives of celebrities.
Navigating the world of affection, we share our musings on why some of us are more comfortable with public displays of love than others. From the imprint of our upbringing to the cultural influences that mold our sensibilities, we leave no stone unturned. And when it comes to the territory of same-sex and interracial couples, this discussion goes deep, probing the acceptance and prejudice that shape these expressions of love. Our anecdotes and experiences bring a personal touch to the conversation, hoping to shine a light on how we can better understand and embrace the diverse tapestry of relationships around us.
As the digital age weaves its way into our intimate connections, we ponder the generational divide in social media usage and its impact on how we validate our relationships. Do likes and comments truly define the strength of our bonds? We bravely tackle the complexities of maintaining privacy while navigating an online world that thrives on oversharing. To close, we chat about the art of setting boundaries and the grace of respecting personal space, reminding ourselves and our listeners that while sharing is caring, some things are best kept behind closed doors—or at least out of the public eye.
When Julee's oldest son, Andrew, came face to face with the chaos of a hit-and-run, we couldn't help but confront the complicated dance with law enforcement and the evolving legal landscape of such incidents. This week's episode starts with a narration of that day and spirals into a larger conversation about the balance of life's hardships with its more tender moments, like the infectious love story of Travis and Taylor. We examine the curious phenomenon of skepticism that shadows public happiness, especially when it's wrapped up in the glittering lives of celebrities.
Navigating the world of affection, we share our musings on why some of us are more comfortable with public displays of love than others. From the imprint of our upbringing to the cultural influences that mold our sensibilities, we leave no stone unturned. And when it comes to the territory of same-sex and interracial couples, this discussion goes deep, probing the acceptance and prejudice that shape these expressions of love. Our anecdotes and experiences bring a personal touch to the conversation, hoping to shine a light on how we can better understand and embrace the diverse tapestry of relationships around us.
As the digital age weaves its way into our intimate connections, we ponder the generational divide in social media usage and its impact on how we validate our relationships. Do likes and comments truly define the strength of our bonds? We bravely tackle the complexities of maintaining privacy while navigating an online world that thrives on oversharing. To close, we chat about the art of setting boundaries and the grace of respecting personal space, reminding ourselves and our listeners that while sharing is caring, some things are best kept behind closed doors—or at least out of the public eye.
One, two, three, four, hey, hey, hey. All you beautiful people out there, this is Michelle.
Julee:She's so excited about her new entry. Every week is a little bit different.
Michele:Next time it's going to be like Fat Albert. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, is that what it is?
Julee:I don't even know what it is. I was like who is that? I'm thinking of? Good Times, jimmy from Good Times, hey, hey, hey. Anyway, for those of you who don't, know what that is.
Michele:It's a TV show from, I don't know, the 70s or something.
Julee:But he was really funny. Anyway, yeah, so it's been a week already. Yeah, we have run into so many things this week already. And did I tell you about Andrew's Andrew, no Well do tell he's okay. So, andrew, for all of you that don't know, he's my oldest. He was just heading to the grocery store and this is the funny part. Amelia said will you please go to QFC instead of going to Safeway?
Julee:Because Safeway is so ratchet and there's like something that they needed at QFC. He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem, so he wasn't even going to the normal place.
Michele:That they go. Oh my gosh.
Julee:But he's just driving on the road and some guy comes barreling out of this parking lot where the grocery store was and, like Swyze, swipes him.
Michele:Was he in the parking lot?
Julee:No, he was on the road. He was on the road, yeah, so the guy just came, he didn't stop. He just came out and ran right into him and the other guy his windshield shattered and the door was kind of hanging off and he took off in his car. He was actually still able to drive and he took off in his car. Of course Andrew was able to drive too.
Julee:He shouldn't have, probably just because he didn't know what was going on with it, but followed him until he lost him, and the guy obviously has to live somewhere in that area Because he knew his way around.
Michele:But, yeah, yeah.
Julee:Isn't that crazy.
Michele:I mean here's the sad part.
Julee:Andrew got the license plate number and he called in to have a police officer show up because he needed to take report for, you know, insurance and all that kind of stuff, and so he waited an hour and then he called back and they just they don't have enough people, they're down, I can't remember, it's 400 or 600 people, they're down. A lot of people in the city and a lot of this is going on.
Julee:A lot of people in the city and a lot of this is going back to the whole timeframe when they were defending the police and they haven't really added. They've kind of got a bad reputation in Seattle, I think.
Michele:And so nobody really wants to work there, I think it's part of the problem.
Julee:But I feel so bad for these people because they're just running around and believe it or not hitting someone and running is not a felony here and that apparently changed this past year Something to do with our legislation this last year but if they hurt somebody, then it's a felony. But I mean he even got the license plate. I mean I'm just sitting here like wow, I just this is like quite a deal.
Michele:That's too bad. I'm really glad he's okay, but the cars.
Julee:It's not even a year old and hit and run, hit and run. Nobody to take responsibility, nobody to try and enforce responsibility, because it's a misdemeanor, so he's just like stuck dealing with all the shit. Yeah.
Michele:I know it's not just suck.
Julee:That's really sad, well, and I think, especially since they know that it's the guys there and apparently he did end up talking to a police officer. The car isn't stolen, so it's the guy. It's maybe the guy who owns the car, maybe a friend who knows. But that's why they won't even pursue it anyway, because you can't verify that the person who owns the car is the same one who hit him. Yeah, it's just BS, but anyway he's okay.
Julee:So that our week is going to get better. Got to Because we're going to talk about a really schmucky topic.
Michele:I don't know what it sounds like when you're sitting there, but I don't know what it sounds like when you're saying that.
Julee:But I say schmucksy, Because why? Oh, my friend Dina, you know, Dina, she's Mexican. So she says oh, Schmexy, Like Schmexy.
Michele:Mexica.
Julee:It's like a combination of both.
Michele:So now I just like to say it.
Julee:All right, shout out to you Dina. Hey Dina, my busy friend who's always out partying around.
Michele:Can we just talk for a minute about Travis and Taylor?
Julee:Oh my God, I love them.
Michele:Why is everybody hating on them so much?
Julee:Because they're happy Because they're happy. Hating on these two so here's the deal the people that are fans okay, kasey fans, and Kasey has gone to the Super Bowl. What is this? Like the third or fourth time or something? I think it's the third time they've gone to the Super Bowl, or I think they won twice, went three times. Anyway, it doesn't really matter, they've gone a lot.
Julee:Yeah, and Travis Kelsey is a stud and he's the one scoring all the points and stuff and he's kind of like really well thought of and well known in his league and it's not for things that.
Michele:As is Taylor in the entertainment industry.
Julee:Well, she, is like tenfold ahead of where he's at Right, Just because you know, she's worldwide for everything.
Michele:I mean she's like set a lot of records this year. Oh, she's adorable, yeah.
Julee:But I think people are just kind of like you know, let him play football, don't focus on this, because he's not going to play good football and I'm like oh my God, he's going to play way better football if he's in love and happy.
Michele:Of course the conspiracy theorist thinks it's all set up.
Julee:Oh yeah, someone's rigging it or something. Yeah, like they're doing it because she supports Biden and it's bringing all the attention to that party, and then oh you're kidding, see, I haven't heard anything about that stuff. Yeah, no, there's. I mean, there she is with her red signature lip and her red jacket.
Michele:Yeah, all excited. I know, I just think they're adorable and there's like so much conversation and haters out there, I was just like what's the big deal? Just let it be.
Julee:Yeah, they have a nickname for them and they're like gosh, what is it? Tate, trab, tate or something.
Michele:Oh, do they have a couple? Yeah, it's a Hollywood couple name, like when they mix them together.
Julee:Yeah, I think they're darling and I hope that they're going to be like. They're like the golden children of football and they're both in their thirties and they've done so well for themselves and they're kind. They appear to be kind people you know, and it's like let them.
Michele:Leave them alone. Yeah, let them do their thing.
Julee:And I love that they're not hiding everything, because I mean, that's what you have to do, probably when you're famous, like that but no, I mean, I'm not even a Swiftie.
Michele:Right Me either.
Julee:Yeah, but I mean I do like some of her songs. Anyway, that is the deal with them. I think people just want to leave out the Hollywood stuff.
Michele:And I know, and there were pictures after this playoff game that the Chiefs just won, of Travis and Taylor kissing. You know she, of course. She's down on the field and she's got her hand, you know. So the camera doesn't see their lips, which I think is a perfect segue into our topic of discussion today. P-d-a Hence public displays of affection.
Julee:Yeah. So I mean it's not yeah, I saw, that too, the hand, or whatever. But she also just I mean, it was innocent, she gave him a kiss and a hug. No, I know.
Michele:Can you imagine, though, being a Hollywood couple like that, in any display of affection that you do is always on camera.
Julee:Oh, you're under so much scrutiny.
Michele:That's like a whole other level of.
Julee:PDA right there. Yeah, you didn't really be yourself.
Michele:No.
Julee:But it was so cute when he did score a couple touchdowns this last time he did her signature like you know how you make your hands into a heart, yeah. He did that after he is so whooped.
Michele:Yeah, I think it's hilarious, but yeah.
Julee:Public displays of affection yeah. And what would people tell them to do? Get a room, right. Get a room yeah, they weren't even in a get a room stage at that point?
Michele:No, they weren't. Some people might think so, with it being like the whole world to see True.
Julee:I don't know. Well, I guess we've seen worse. Right yeah, but public displays of affection, those are things where they could be on varying levels, right yeah, oh yeah, for sure. Kissing or hugging or whatever you know is happening and when we were talking about this before, we both have kind of different interpretations of this, probably from art growing up.
Michele:Yeah.
Julee:That's what I'm thinking. I mean, you're formed so much by the things that you learn when you're five to seven years old, things you don't even remember now, but it formulates your opinions, your environment everything.
Michele:Well, I think that has to, to a certain degree, has to do with, like you just said, your upbringing, and we tend to get stuck in the fact that we grew up in very conservative households you growing up in a Catholic household, me growing up in a Mormon household, which there's their own things in regard to affection and all that. That entails not just public displays of affection. You know, there's people that just grow up and I was just going to say normal house guys.
Julee:Well, I wanted to. We weren't even a full on Catholic household. My dad wasn't even.
Michele:Catholic, but I mean, you know, but like, where they may don't necessarily go to church and really the only example that they have as far as affection and showing affection between two people is what they see with their parents if they have two in the household, right, you know? So, yeah, my look.
Julee:Obviously it does look different for everybody but I think with the, you know, when you think public displays of affection and like, I think of like parents that have their kids around and they're giving each other a kiss and stuff, I think that's great. I mean, the kids are seeing that the parents get along. They actually like each other, and I think it probably makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Michele:Well, I think it's a whole other level in the home.
Julee:Yeah, I'm just saying like out of the movie or at the fair or whatever, holding hands.
Michele:At home. I just think of a husband and wife and he's maybe giving her a pat on the ass you know in front of the kids intentionally, because they'll just be mortified like, oh my gosh, you guys.
Julee:Ew, ew, ew.
Michele:You know, but I think that's kind of cute actually.
Julee:So how do you feel about it now? Like how is Tate is he good with like smooching you in public and stuff?
Michele:Rick is not good with smooching really in public.
Julee:No no.
Michele:No, where do you think that?
Julee:comes from. He's just more. He's more I wouldn't say stoic, but just more kind of quiet, observant personality.
Michele:I just think he's yeah, he is like that and you know he grew up in the South and I'm sure you know that's indicative of maybe some of that and how he grew up having to feel about showing affection outwardly and in public.
Michele:Yeah, especially in a, you know, black and white situation, which is what we are. Yeah, we'll get a little bit more into that. One of the topics that we have here is interracial Public displays of affection, but I mean we hold hands or, you know, sometimes I'll hook my arm into his only because he's not going to do that. Yeah, so I do it.
Julee:I mean, some people just aren't, they're just not touchy-feely, they're not. You know, it's really not that way.
Michele:Necessary. I think it's just really obviously like anything personal comfortability and choice and I think, too, what you see is how you're going to feel. So if you see something that makes you uncomfortable, that you in your mind are saying those two need to get a room, then you obviously disapprove of what their level of affection is in public.
Julee:So we were talking about this before when we thought we were recording. We're re-recording because, well, I think Julie forgot to push the button.
Michele:But that's beside the point.
Julee:Technical difficulties we just get better information now. But I do think that some of that directly relates to, like we were talking before about how you were raised or the environment that you're in and if displays of affection of any kind, even with your parents or with your family members, were a thing, you know, my dad's side of the family is not affection at all. My mom's side of the family is, you know, Latin. They were much more demonstrative with what they were doing hugging, kissing, whatever.
Julee:I don't remember that ever being kind of a thing, Whereas on my dad's side of the family that was very, that would have been very unusual.
Michele:I remember my dad coming home from work and I guess it's just must be this one time. It felt like he did it all the time, but he brought roses home for my mom and I remember them standing in the kitchen kissing what like? He brought the roses, he gave them to my mom and then they put them up in front of their faces so that we couldn't see them kissing. But you knew they were kissing.
Julee:Yeah.
Michele:So kind of like that smacking on the ass kind of a thing. But that's not. The roses in front of the face is not mortified. I was just like, oh, how romantic. It's so cute Obviously because I remember it.
Julee:You know, I mean I wouldn't have any problems with that. I mean with my kids seeing me, I mean maybe not like French kissing or something. Well, yeah, kissing or something, I don't think it's any big deal. They'd go. Ew, that's gross you know, when they were little but and now probably would too, just like I could just picture them going get a room you know kind of a thing yeah.
Julee:I say that to them sometimes when it's not really, when it's not like they're doing anything, and they look at me like what they're not even doing anything?
Michele:Do you feel? Like how you were brought up? You have a very different feel about this kind of a thing.
Julee:now I've thought about this because I I have some of it carried through. I think the way okay. So the way I look at it and I think this is probably from incidents that have taken place in the past, I don't really remember, but is to me it's more about like a classy thing. I would be mortified if I saw my daughter out on the street making out with her boyfriend. I just I would be like oh.
Michele:Yeah.
Julee:Yeah, just because I wanna protect her, I'm gonna say her reputation. But just-?
Michele:What about bumping and grinding on the dance floor?
Julee:Well, I guess we all kinda do that, but that's different. Why? Well, it depends. I mean, if we're basically I mean bumping and grinding.
Michele:That's pretty much-.
Julee:Okay, there's extreme versions of that I know but in general we all know what it is when we're doing it. Okay, remember when we went to the R&B only thing, r&b only with Eileen and no, you two went there. No, we've been a couple times. So Eileen and I went one time and then To the fun one. We went to the really good one.
Julee:Yeah, I went to the you went to the bad one, but anyway, it's not about whether it was bad or not, but do you remember the people that were there like around us?
Michele:and they were couples or whatever.
Julee:Oh my God, it was like an orgy with clothes on. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That to me seems like a lot. Well, I Like I would never do that.
Michele:I know, but you were just. I only say that because you bring up your daughter making out with her boyfriend in public. Which she would never do, but hypothetically speaking, yeah, and how that would make you feel, and so just, we don't need to think about levels of bumping and grinding.
Michele:But there are levels Bumping and grinding and there's levels of making out too, true. So being and grinding in general, like what do you do? You think you'd feel the same way if you were at a nightclub with your daughter, like in Nashville or something, and you know she was bumping and grinding on the dance floor with her boyfriend. Would that or would that feel different? I think that would feel different. Yeah, because of the environment. You're in that kind of environment.
Michele:Yeah, where it's like you're dancing, vibing and drinking, and then you wouldn't care because you know you've had a few-. Yeah, exactly, there's classics. Bring it on.
Julee:I don't even think that I mean even with all of that, that I would even probably I don't know, to me it's just, and I think it's what was ingrained in me in the past is just. It's about being classy and about being just like I don't know a lady. However, you want to say it that way, but I don't know.
Michele:I've just been very careful about that. It's just levels of comfort. It's levels of comfort.
Julee:I have no issue with PDA in regard to, I think it's wonderful when people hold hands or if they're giving each other a kiss or whatever, but like full on making out in the parking lot.
Michele:That's because it makes you feel that way.
Julee:Right, it just would not make. Well, it's happened to me.
Michele:I've done that before. Me too, me too. And I mean there's been a oh, not make out. No, I haven't done it before, but I've seen it before.
Julee:Well, not on purpose, it was just kind of like I told you it was in one of the episodes that I had mentioned that this dude that I'd gone out with. I went out with him a few times but he did that. He did that maybe the second time we went out and I was just like what the hell, what are you?
Michele:doing Like where were you? We were downtown, I know, but like by the car in the restaurant Outside remember the little pooling into the alcove thing.
Julee:Oh yeah, I see yeah but we weren't even in an alcove, I don't think with that, but it was more kind of like hey, cool, your jets, kind of a thing. I mean, I think he was kind of offended because I was like no, this is not, not into it, no, this is not cool.
Michele:See, that's what I mean, like everybody has a different experience with it and level of comfort, but, just like you were saying, I think there's a lot of different religious aspects that do ingrain a certain level of this in us.
Julee:Well, just I mean, I think you're absolutely right on that front because and not just Catholic and Mormon. No, you look at any religion really I will talk about a few of these here, but any religion that I can even think of being chased and women being pure and not having sex before marriage and even to the fundamental thing about holding your hand or giving you Not chased like I envisioned being chased by a guy. Oh, no, chased, no being a good girl.
Michele:I think girls are chased Well that's like, yeah, that's like in the Mormon religion.
Julee:What's it called the chased rule or something, the law of chastity?
Michele:Oh, law of chastity. Did they put a?
Julee:belt on you oh.
Michele:So yeah, the law of chastity is what it's referred to in the Mormon church and essentially sex is not okay outside unless you're married unless a man and a woman are married.
Julee:So they have to be opposite sex too, obviously, that's definitely in the Mormon church. Well, I think it's any church, really A lot of churches, yeah because that's kind of a new thing that's come out in the last few years, when people are actually discussing it where they just didn't discuss it before no pun intended Coming out, you said oh yeah, coming out, oh a new thing that's coming out Good cat good cat.
Julee:Although I will say that I have noticed and I don't know why I've noticed this. Some of the I remember seeing this church up on Capitol Hill a couple of weeks ago when I was up there and there was one over here in Shoreline, not far from our house all have rainbow flags hanging, which means that they're welcoming people into their church. That Well, they have to.
Michele:I mean no, they don't have well they kinda do. Let's be honest, they're freaking hypocrites if they don't. I'm just saying, but that's a whole nother story, yeah. But they are quote welcoming them, but are they really welcoming them? They're having to open their doors just because so we love you as a person.
Julee:We just don't love what you're doing, kind of a thing Pretty much.
Michele:Yeah, Well, at least they're doing that. Yes, oh no, I know I'm not saying it's a bad thing Because they're not being killed because they're gay, like in some other religions or whatever.
Julee:Well, kinda going back to that public displays of affection with same sex people, I remember the first time I saw that it was like I was kinda like whoa.
Michele:Yeah, you know, because it's just not something you normally see.
Julee:Right, and now you obviously see that a little bit more. But I mean, I can think back on being out with people who are gay, were couples or whatever, and when they would hold hands or whatever it just I was like oh, that just seemed odd to me, cause I didn't really cause you'd see them in different environments.
Michele:It's probably like interracial couples doing that in the 70s.
Julee:Yeah.
Michele:It's probably like it is not, it's like they would do it, but you would see it and you'd be like whoa, yeah, and now same sex. It's kind of the same thing, cause we're just getting going on this people.
Julee:And yeah, and like you said, everybody's comfort level is going to be a little bit different. So if you were raised with really free, love environment, people that raised you, you're going to maybe look at a lot different than if you were raised with Like if your parents were like living it up during the sexual revolution which we talked about just last month.
Julee:Exactly. They might look at it a little bit differently, but I do know people that you know were very free spirits during that timeframe and they have children now and they don't look at it exactly the same.
Michele:I mean, the kids are grown now, but Well, cause they know some of the Exactly shenanigans that were going on. Yeah.
Julee:But they also. It's like you're looking at it like this is your kid. Now they wouldn't necessarily this one person I'm thinking of wouldn't necessarily try to do things differently, certainly wouldn't say things to his daughters that would be make them feel like they're doing something wrong, but would maybe have a conversation about it.
Michele:Can you imagine?
Julee:I mean there was no conversation about anything. You know, when we were, when we were growing up, it was more kind of negative.
Michele:Well, that's why Well, I think because you knew for me, growing up in a household, a religious household and you know the things that you're learning at church and that are being taught to you. I'm not saying they're bad or good or whatever, but you feel like you're going to be in so much trouble for doing these things that are very normal, and so you don't want to get in trouble, you don't want to disappoint, and so-.
Julee:You're trying to figure out where-.
Michele:You do it on the down low. I was holding hands in the hallways at school. I was making out at parties, over at friend's house or just going over to visit a friend and making out probably more than I needed to, but you know, I would probably be more at that time like, oh my gosh, if my parents knew-. Yeah same Right, same Cause, then we'd have to go see the bishop and then there's all the For making out. Well, I'm just saying, if it gets carried away, and more things happen.
Julee:Oh God, none of that was going to happen. I was terrified. Terrified of what would happen to me. How. I would get thrown out of the house or whatever I would never have done, I would never have had sex.
Michele:Yeah, like the wrath of all different kinds of things.
Julee:Yeah, so you do what you can to kind of avoid that. At least I did so. At least I got a little older.
Michele:Pretty much in the United States. Here in the Western world, most forms of PDA are acceptable. I mean, we see it. It except for when folks are getting sexually explicit. Have you ever had sex in public? Let's just ask that question.
Julee:Yeah, yeah, but it was in public. Well, actually it's kind of funny. It was on a cliff the one time I'm thinking of overlooking Lake Tahoe and I didn't know anybody else was around. But I think there were some people like over on another cliff or something.
Michele:Yeah, feeling a little brave there.
Julee:Yeah, feeling a little brave and, just you know, throwing caution to the wind.
Michele:So throwing something to the wind, that's the only thing I'm gonna tell you about how.
Julee:about you Michelle?
Michele:Yeah, I have, so that's your big old public display of infection. And that's my story.
Julee:Yeah, that means she does it all the time. No no no, or she used to.
Michele:But I have. But hence everything being pretty acceptable, except for getting to the explicit. And then I don't even know like what would you do if you saw somebody? What would you even do, Like maybe somebody did see you on that cliff? And they're just like jaw dropping didn't know what to do.
Julee:Hopefully they didn't videotape anything.
Michele:So it's like, what would you do If you saw that? I'm just thinking.
Julee:it's like if I saw people in a, I mean because I mean think about it. It's like when I worked at Northstrom, you know people were like getting it on the fitting room sometime, yeah. Or you go to clubs or places of establishments and people are in the bathroom for a really long period of time.
Michele:You know that kind of it happens all the time.
Julee:Whether it's out in the middle of anything, I'd be like get a fucking room I probably would. It's kind of I don't need to see you like slaughtering all over her or him, over whatever I. Just I don't really need, but I or I might not say anything.
Michele:I don't know what usher song at oh in the club.
Julee:Oh.
Michele:Make love in the club, isn't that usher song?
Julee:Is that what it's about? Yeah, taking the girl to the bathroom.
Michele:Well, no, just in general. They don't care who's around, who's seeing, you know?
Julee:just like we're just getting here. We're just usher song and he's. He's like STD King Me, so nothing surprises me there.
Michele:Anyway.
Julee:Anyway.
Michele:So Western world that's the TDA in the Western world? Yeah.
Julee:I do agree. I think in the Western world and again we're not talking specifically about one area, I think it varies from state to state, let's say, because you have more conservative views on just things in general Like think the Bible belt, for God's sake, you know that this is not something that's probably going to be really well received. Maybe the holding hand thing would be not the. I mean, I just I can't imagine any of that.
Julee:Other stuff would be okay you know, with some young girl with her parents giving. I mean I just I just can't see that being an okay thing.
Michele:If you think about it, what feels a little more risque is so you could be at a park and you see two people laying on a blanket in the grass and maybe they're kissing right. And then you could be at a beach and you got a couple laying on a big towel and they're kissing. It seems a little more risque because they don't have as many clothes on.
Julee:Well, if he was on top of her, she was on top of him. That might be different.
Michele:I'm just saying, when you see two people fully clothed kissing in the park, it doesn't seem as risque as you see two people half naked doing the same thing on the beach. I just am making that comparison two different levels of PDA.
Julee:Yeah, so make sure Michelle's saying please wear your clothes. To the beach, To the beach yeah, yeah, I do believe there are different levels of things and, like I said, I think there's a real innocent level to that too.
Michele:In China. Oh yeah, I mean we're talking about the US here, but in China it is unacceptable for Public displays at all Public displays of affection of the opposite sex at all is regarded as unacceptable, Even if you're married or something it's just not who's going to know? I don't know. I'm just saying well, they know who's they.
Julee:They mean the people that are having the public displays of affection.
Michele:Yeah, but that doesn't affect the people around you, I know.
Julee:but I'm saying it's cultural. If we're saying it's a cultural thing, then in that culture people know that that's not cool and so you're not going to really run across it.
Michele:Well, they're ready to do it Like if they will just pretend we're married and hold hands. So even when they're married, they probably I would say because of how the culture is OK.
Julee:So it's just not something that people are comfortable doing at all in the culture.
Michele:I think because it's in general that culture has it's a very respectful-. Yeah, you know.
Julee:Well, I mean, I think there's a lot of them like that, like in India. I think it's very similar, you know. I mean even today there are still arranged marriages and things happening and people are chaperoned on dates and things of that nature. Now, to the degree, I don't know but, it's the same thing.
Michele:I probably could use more of that.
Julee:Chaperoning.
Michele:Yeah, when I was younger.
Julee:You mean after you were 18 or 19?
Michele:Well, just chaperoning in general when I was dating that's all I'm saying.
Julee:Really, you were such an angel.
Michele:I'm teasing no, but yeah.
Julee:OK good.
Michele:But yes, in India affection between same sex is acceptable.
Julee:So like mom, and sisters or something.
Michele:Culturally. Yeah, you see these families because they're very multigenerational in how they interact. They live in the same household, things like that.
Julee:I mean, I guess I've noticed it's because I like on my dad's side of the family they're not really affectionate people at all, but. I would say on my mom's side of the family they're Latin and I'm just thinking, I'm having memories of this, not today, but just in the past. They're just more open to hugging and kissing and it's just more of an affectionate environment, or it had been more of an affectionate environment, so it seemed normal.
Michele:Not infectious.
Julee:Not infectious, yeah, but in my own household, even with my I've always been very kissy and very like huggy. I'm a huggy person anyway, but now I'm looking at them and they're not like that. Your kids, no, not really, I think it probably maybe makes them. I'm like I make them hug me, like I signed her today. He gave me, he gives me a hug and he says I love you, mom, you know that kind of thing.
Julee:And Zoe too she will, but it's not like something that comes very naturally when I'm like give me a hug. Jared's my hugger.
Michele:He's the one that will hug for sure. Well, sounds like they all hug.
Julee:No, it's more like if I didn't do it, it wouldn't happen kind of a thing that's probably the same For me.
Michele:I mean, I have boys.
Julee:Well, I just am like not going to tell, take the opportunity.
Michele:If you don't like it, then you can just tell me they do hug me. For me it's when mom wants to take pictures.
Julee:Oh my gosh, yeah, do they roll their eyes.
Michele:Well, just because it's not often, we have all of us together. So when I have the four of them together. I always like to try to get a picture, just because it's a moment, but yes, they're more annoyed with that.
Julee:Andrew will not, he hates, he will not stand for pictures, none of them like it.
Michele:That's how my oldest is, but he does it. He just doesn't smile.
Julee:Yeah, they don't smile or whatever. I'm like I remember doing that with my dad and going no, I don't want to be in the picture, I don't want to be in the video or whatever. Now I look back on them. I'm like I really wish I wouldn't have done that, because there would be more stuff out there.
Michele:Where's Julie? Yeah.
Julee:He was always taking the pictures and stuff. But I would cover my face. I think that was the thing I would always do is cover my face. And why did I do that? I don't know but, anyway, going back to the public displays of affection, how do you feel that attitudes are toward like interracial relationships and how they're affected by PDA?
Michele:I think that is strongly affected, based on interpretations of the public within the context of where you are geographically.
Julee:I would imagine.
Michele:Because I mean perceptions of others and what their attitude is just towards interracial relationships in general. I mean that's a whole thing in itself. So then you add that layer of physical contact between two people in public. There's just a lot of layers to it that it's just like extra things you have to think about when you're in an interracial relationship.
Julee:Well, you know that I mean having been in one. I know that people definitely I mean I guess I tried not to pay that close of attention to it, but people definitely noticed- I would say I don't remember getting any like, any weird comments or anything like that I did earlier on when cause I got, my husband and I.
Michele:when we got married it was in 1987. And we lived in Spokane and it was yeah.
Julee:Very vanilla there it was.
Michele:it's very vanilla there, very conservative there, and I used to be. I was a waitress at the time when we were dating and I'll never forget one time he came in to see me and he was sitting in the back cause it was like an empty where they would have large groups and stuff and nobody was back there.
Michele:So he went back there cause I was busy. He was waiting for me. I went back there for a minute and I was chatting with him and one of my tables had asked them they want. They talked to the manager and wanted they didn't want me to bring out their food cause I touched him while I was back there. I put my hand on his back.
Julee:Wow, wow.
Michele:Yeah, so there's, like I said, there's just these extra layers of things. Like at that time didn't even think about it. I'm just back there talking to my boyfriend, you know.
Julee:Well, and it kind of comes back to these whole-.
Michele:How people perceive and see that. Yeah, it's crazy.
Julee:Well, and it all again goes back to oh, if you think of all the different branches of people's upbringing and their perception of things and all their experiences.
Julee:those all play well into this. And it comes back to. I used the word earlier about judgment and I would like to say I'm not a judgy person but what I recognize that what I said was judgy and it's like it's not judgy punitively, it's more like it's just my comfort level. So I'm kind of like, ooh, get a room. Because to me it's kind of like just not putting yourself in the best light and I think about that more from probably how I was told and what I would want for people like I just want them to be. I just want my kids, like, for example, to be just classy. I don't wanna be feeling trashy because I'm making out with some person on a. It's just not my style, you know.
Julee:I mean I have no problem kissing, I have no problem hugging, I needed that, but I just I think it goes to. If it goes too far, I'm super uncomfortable and it has happened where I've just, like I mentioned before, gone whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa back, you know, back it up.
Michele:I just know that if I started making out with Rick, you know there comes a certain point where he wouldn't be able to stop me, so then it would just go from there. So we just choose not to kiss in public.
Julee:Oh, is that the reason?
Michele:Yeah.
Julee:Okay, I'll just, I'll take that one.
Michele:See these interracial couples have to, you know, go. We have to like, strategically, have these strategies. Maybe that's why he pulled me into the doorway.
Julee:Yeah, see there you go Like pushed me up against well didn't we talk about that before? Yeah, yeah, you Rick's all, he's all calm and cool and collected out in public. Maybe we'll maybe hold her hand. They get inside the door and he's got her up against the wall, hands above her head. She is submitting right now. Sorry, rick.
Michele:Yeah, cause he?
Julee:just yeah, sorry, rick, I just had a little fantasy for Michelle. Yeah, you're welcome Shake that.
Michele:Whoo, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hot hot, hot Anyway.
Julee:So yeah, so I can see that interracial would definitely. I mean, I've experienced it, not obviously to the degree that you have. But I go back to the whole you know that saying you hear me say messy hair, don't care. You know, it's kind of like why do I give a shit? Right, why would anybody give a shit? And I think really what it comes down to is what your comfort level is, and if your comfort level is not engaging in like a make out sesh you know and I say this as a grown ass woman.
Julee:It almost sounds like juvenile to even say it, but it does happen. Where you see that taking place, I'm like you know, knock yourself out, have a kiss, do whatever, but it's like really just you know have some poise about you. That's where my judgy part comes in.
Michele:Yeah.
Julee:And I can't help it sorry.
Michele:Right, that's okay.
Julee:Yeah, it's just is what it is. You could be judgy. Well, I try not to be judgy, but I'm just.
Michele:I mean, I think, if I recognize that it's something that you could think about how much these two people care and love each other too. And look at how, look at how into each other they are.
Julee:Oh see, see, that's a nice way to, that's a nice spin, Michelle. I mean hopefully they know each other. Yeah, this is true, yeah.
Michele:I think as far as PDA goes with same sex moving on from interracial same sex that can be. I think it's something that we're seeing more of.
Julee:Yeah.
Michele:And which hooray good for same sex couples.
Julee:finally, but in truth be told, I can't say that I've really run across a lot of same sex couples that have like extensive PDA.
Michele:I think too back to okay, I guess there's some crossover with interracial just bring up like in the 70s probably didn't see as much even hand holding with couples that were interracial for the stigma and just like that extra layer of stuff that you'd probably don't wanna have to deal with. Same thing for gay couples now.
Julee:Yeah.
Michele:We're just getting to a point where they're feeling hopefully comfortable being able to do that in public, but it's still the same thing would apply in my mind.
Julee:It's like I don't really care if it's an interracial couple, if it is a gay couple, if it is a heterosexual, I don't really care. It's like, when I look at the levels, like we're talking about it would be in my mind. The same thing applies. It doesn't matter.
Michele:Oh yeah, I was just making the comparison of the time in history. I'm just saying history.
Julee:When I'm looking at my perception of these things. They're not that different. It's more like to the level.
Michele:The levels are the levels. It's definitely the levels of PDA, and so it makes me kinda wonder.
Julee:It's like I've never really considered myself to be really conservative in nature, but then, well, I should take that back. I have been that way. I think I've kind of outgrown it, honestly, to some degree, but there are still some things that definitely apply. This is one of them. This maybe I mold fashion to that way. I've never used that word with myself. You use it with yourself, I just don't use that word with myself, but in that regard it is.
Julee:It's more kinda like I don't even know how to say it goes back to that whole level of classiness. I just do you really need to be?
Michele:You just like the word classy instead of old fashioned.
Julee:Well, at least I didn't say smexy. Are you looking at those as synonymous?
Michele:Well, I mean, it could mean the same thing, depending on the context in which you're speaking of and I think the context that you're talking about this I think it could mean the same thing being classy or old fashioned. There was a time when call it old fashioned, back in the day, whatever where this kind of thing was totally under wraps and you just didn't do that stuff. That's hence the sexual revolution like we talked about you.
Julee:Mean people were more I wanna say frigid, but they were more. They kept it all in the down low. Repressed, repressed. That's what I'm looking for, yeah repressed.
Michele:That's just how it was back in that day. I'm talking about the 40s, 50s.
Julee:And oh yeah, they were like used merchandise if they were You're talking about women now.
Michele:Women, yeah, I mean we've had that conversation.
Julee:Yeah, I just mean in general couples but I think women it was more like women are chased. The women are more conservative of what they allow that kind of thing. Because, whether we like it or not, it's like their reputation would be the one that would be impacted, like going back to the 40s or 50s or 60s Even today?
Michele:Well, that's what I'm saying Old fashioned or were they classy? Were they classy by not?
Julee:Engaging where everybody could see it's not to say they don't engage. I know that's for sure.
Michele:I'm just saying you know, We've established that. We have established that I'm just saying, maybe you know, in front of everybody else yeah, so I mean you know you're a little bougie, so you can use the word classy, you just call us I mean bougie's a little bit in a little different context.
Julee:Oh, bougie, basil balm. Yeah, I know that is my favorite. If we ever open our place, we'll have that as a signature craft cocktail.
Michele:More to come on. More to come on that we're not telling anybody Because I don't want them. No, no, we're not telling anybody, oh yeah.
Julee:Because we don't want anybody to do that.
Michele:But yeah, so Another one of my hair brain ideas. Old fashioned, classy, I think they're one in the same.
Julee:Yeah.
Michele:Yeah.
Julee:So let's talk a little bit about, like, middle eastern culture. Do you feel like it's more severe in how women and men interact?
Michele:Oh yes, I mean, I don't historically know a lot, I just know what I've seen and kind of what I hear in the media which I don't know how accurate that is. Or you see the women with their faces covered and there's just like not that interaction.
Julee:Those are really super strict most of them Religion or sex.
Michele:I guess, S-E-C-T sex. Not S-E-X. Yeah, you're interchanging these word with the chased and the sex?
Julee:I don't know. You just have your mind in the gutter. I think that's what's going on here. Yeah, I think women are more, I would say, required in that culture to be kind of that whole be seen and not heard covered up more People.
Michele:don't touch them. No, I'm just saying I think that's what's?
Julee:and, frankly, virgins, but that's the same everywhere. It's just if they're not. Nobody loses sleep over it here. Right, it's just that's the difference.
Michele:I think, anyway, what about social media? Oh man, how do you think that I mean as far as relationships go, and Well, think about it.
Julee:It's like people have I mean old people have Facebook. Nobody else really has it besides the older generation, really right, she's speaking about us. Yeah, I have it, but I use more Instagram, but I mean, I use them both.
Michele:Because a lot of the people we know are on Facebook.
Julee:There's a different audience.
Michele:yeah, it's a younger audience, I think on Instagram, and then get into TikTok.
Julee:They're barely out of diapers on TikTok yeah.
Michele:So yeah, I would say boomers slash Gen Xers are Facebook, and then the millennials in the Zs are definitely Instagram TikTok yeah.
Julee:But we've transitioned Like I have. We have you use it on. Instagram almost exclusively.
Michele:I mean.
Julee:I have stuff that saves over to Facebook, but anyway, going back to this posting, there's so many different things with social media that have to do with the relationship status, or if someone's picture is posted with another person or they profess their love to someone and it's done on social media. It's more. You've heard that term. Is it Facebook official?
Michele:Right yeah.
Julee:That's what they're talking about, but it makes me kind of wonder sometimes FBO.
Michele:Did you know that was a Facebook official? Yeah, fbo, are y'all FBO.
Julee:yet Well, and then it's like if some people aren't into social media like they have an account, say but they don't even know how to use it. They might, theirs, might still say single Right, and they're not single. But people look at that and they're very literal about it. And posting things on there about public displays of affection or the timing of when things are posted or the frequency of when things are posted directly relate to whether someone feels that that person's into them or not, Right?
Julee:I mean, how many likes they got All this shit that I'm just kind of like oh my god. I mean, you know you've got a good channel, you know if you've got, you know likes and all this thing coming at it. But I definitely I wouldn't say all generations, but a lot of people look at the relationship progressing differently, you know, in different increments and stuff, when it comes to social media, because in a world where they're what think about it, in a world where there wasn't social media, none of this stuff applied.
Michele:Well, I just I think the same is in effect as far as the different levels. I think, in life, in it in real life and out there, there's different levels of what affections were displaying. And it's the same with social media, because now the social media is such a thing of everyday life.
Michele:I think there's different levels. For example, I can think of a couple who lit, literally like you, were able to watch their dating experience, them getting to know each other. It was like a love story getting to know each other, going out to eat together, following him to on the trip to where he proposed to her, and that whole moment, like everything about their entire relationship is, was out there and in almost. I can see how it could make somebody else feel like well geez, we know how into my life sucks, so how into me is he like?
Julee:we can do any of that stuff. Yeah, I doesn't do it.
Michele:But people are more private you know, so I think to that same degree that couple would be the ones making out in the park. Yeah, yeah, you're right, the ones without anything, or the one you know, just holding hands.
Julee:So do you think people you know that focus like overthink and focus on relationship status and what someone is posting and when they're posting it and who they're sharing it with and all that stuff? Do you think that person tends to be more possessive?
Michele:in your territorial, absolutely.
Julee:I would say that I would argue too that it's like that they're kind of insecure in a relationship for sure. Yeah, because we all know it's like you get to know somebody is like eventually you get into their social media. Some people they're in their social media before they even really get to know them at all. They're linked in. It's not even just, it's not just Facebook or Instagram, there's other platforms to tick, talk, you know that sort of thing that people are into. But yeah, I mean, I know people that pay really close attention to who's followed them and who's hard at their stuff and who's commenting and like I don't even pay attention to that stuff.
Michele:As far as establishing a relationship, I think too back to what you were saying as far as possessive, it could? I can see those tendencies for somebody that's always wanting to take the pictures and post, take the pictures and post, take the pictures, just like establishing validity on the fact that they have this relationship.
Julee:That's like they're trying to prove something I think is another component of what they're, you know, a part of what that relationship is for them, in a way weirdly. Well, and then if the one person's doing a lot of that and the other person's not doing any of it?
Michele:And I do more. I mean, I do more than than Rick.
Julee:I don't do more into it, yeah.
Michele:I'm more into it, and I do put pictures of us up, not a lot. It's pretty rare, but I do. There's an occasional picture. He's not as much. He's very private in regard to that kind of stuff, which I totally respect and it's not, you know. So I again, those different levels, I just think are a part of what the world has to deal with now, not only talking about PDA, but you know there's that and just in general it's a whole other layer on relationships.
Julee:So so what is your general take on all of it with PDA? I know you said there's levels. I know we have got uppering. Where is your comfort level lie, I guess, with it? Well, I mean not take Rick out of the equation. I know.
Michele:Yeah, I know you were talking about be seen and not heard. Y'all are making out in the park out of mind seeing you. I just don't want to hear you.
Julee:Yeah.
Michele:Yeah, it's just. I think it's okay. To a certain degree I'm with you, Jules. If I saw my son making out on the corner or just like out in public somewhere, I think it would be more uncomfortable, because it's my son.
Julee:Right.
Michele:If he's comfortable doing it and it is just kissing and not heavy making out, I think it's cool with anybody. It would be uncomfortable when it's my son, but that's different. Yeah, I think that's different when you see that and it's your son. And what about you?
Julee:Me what I mean. What's your comfort level?
Michele:I don't mind a hug and I can't. And it's like you know, rick and I live 2000 miles apart, so we go to the airport.
Julee:I can't even believe you guys ever leave the house.
Michele:Well, I just make when we go to the airport, obviously there's a kid. They have to go to the airport people.
Julee:There's a, there's a. She has to pick them up and they've got to go back.
Michele:There's a hug there, you know, but in general it's holding hands and arm in arm there's. There's nothing more really for us as far as PDA.
Julee:Okay yeah, just curious.
Michele:I wouldn't be comfortable, exactly.
Julee:Well, that's what I was kind of getting at. I wanted to see what your comfort level would be, because if he was more open to that, then I mean.
Michele:I do. I do remember a date earlier on when I was being a little alpha. I was kissing him. We were at a restaurant.
Julee:Yeah.
Michele:But we were in a booth and it was new and you know we're just getting to know each other and I do remember kissing him while we were sitting in the booth and I could tell he was not a fan, Okay, you know. So there's that too, getting to know somebody, and so obviously I was feeling okay about it.
Julee:How many Titos did you have?
Michele:You know, but I mean, it wasn't-.
Julee:I'm just kidding.
Michele:Grotesque, but yeah, so there's a lot of layers.
Julee:I know and I already kind of told you what I'm comfortable with. So it's just a matter of, you know, not overstepping that boundary, and I'm cool. If I overstepped that boundary. I'm just uncomfortable. Yeah, and it's not because, like I was saying before, it's not like I'm a prude or anything, I just like there's a place in a time.
Michele:Get a room, get a room. Exactly, it's like let's get a room, keep it in the room. People, yeah, and on that note, just keep it real people. Remember to find a blonde, a brunette and a mic out on all the socials. And when you decide to take a listen, which should be every week, remember to download and one more thing, don't forget get a room. Boom Bye, y'all Take care. All right, everybody Bye.