Have you ever found joy in the most unexpected places, like a chihuahua adorned with a pearl necklace? Our latest episode unpacks the layers of happiness, with a dash of humor and a sprinkle of sunny vibes. We kick things off with a chuckle over Julee's fashion-forward pooch and meander through the ways seasonal change lifts our mood. We also dive into the science of light therapy and share our excitement for an upcoming Las Vegas escapade—because even the smallest pleasures can have the biggest impact on our contentment.
As we wade through the journey of joy, the conversation gets personal. We swap stories about how the people we choose to be around can act as pillars of our happiness and how setting boundaries is often an overlooked art form. Drawing on wisdom from a Harvard professor, we probe the characteristics of truly happy folks and peel back the layers of what it means to live a life punctuated by satisfaction and purpose. Plus, we share a giggle or two about the unexpected richness that contrasting personalities can bring to our lives.
Wrapping up this heart-to-heart, we reflect on the nourishment of the soul that comes from self-care and celebrating life's little wins. From pushing past a fractured hand to stay active, to the sheer bliss of a perfectly timed meal, we underscore the need to cherish these moments. And as we ponder the role of grandparenting and adapting to life's ever-changing seasons, we embrace the ongoing quest for personal joy. Grab your headphones, and perhaps a pearl necklace for your pet, and join us for a conversation that's as refreshing as the first day of spring.
Have you ever found joy in the most unexpected places, like a chihuahua adorned with a pearl necklace? Our latest episode unpacks the layers of happiness, with a dash of humor and a sprinkle of sunny vibes. We kick things off with a chuckle over Julee's fashion-forward pooch and meander through the ways seasonal change lifts our mood. We also dive into the science of light therapy and share our excitement for an upcoming Las Vegas escapade—because even the smallest pleasures can have the biggest impact on our contentment.
As we wade through the journey of joy, the conversation gets personal. We swap stories about how the people we choose to be around can act as pillars of our happiness and how setting boundaries is often an overlooked art form. Drawing on wisdom from a Harvard professor, we probe the characteristics of truly happy folks and peel back the layers of what it means to live a life punctuated by satisfaction and purpose. Plus, we share a giggle or two about the unexpected richness that contrasting personalities can bring to our lives.
Wrapping up this heart-to-heart, we reflect on the nourishment of the soul that comes from self-care and celebrating life's little wins. From pushing past a fractured hand to stay active, to the sheer bliss of a perfectly timed meal, we underscore the need to cherish these moments. And as we ponder the role of grandparenting and adapting to life's ever-changing seasons, we embrace the ongoing quest for personal joy. Grab your headphones, and perhaps a pearl necklace for your pet, and join us for a conversation that's as refreshing as the first day of spring.
Hey everybody. This is Michelle and this is Julie. Welcome to a blonde, a brunette and a mic podcast. What is our podcast all about you?
Speaker 2:ask Well, we're 250 something.
Speaker 1:Women with life experience, and oh bloody to say, which is exactly what we're gonna do right now. Shelly, how are you? Hey, Jules, how are you? You know I'm doing good.
Speaker 2:I see that because you have this princess chihuahua sitting on your lap right now, and we're not going to talk about that, she's wearing a pearl necklace.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, it's a pretty pearl necklace and it does look pretty fabulous on her so audience.
Speaker 2:I was talking to Michelle about the pearl necklace and you know Harlow's an angel and just innocent and of course she would never wear a pearl necklace in the sexual connotation.
Speaker 1:I had no. Can we just say I had no idea what she was talking about?
Speaker 2:It's a song.
Speaker 1:And in a yeah.
Speaker 2:I Will you please tell our audience what a pearl necklace is? I don't, I know. I will please tell our audience what a pearl necklace is. I don't, I know. It's little.
Speaker 2:It's little drops of semen around a woman's neck, you know, like if a guy ejaculates, yeah, in her face or whatever, but it's called a pearl necklace and it was from a song I can't remember, white snake or one of those hair bands or something in the 80s, yeah, so when I got her this pearl necklace I was thinking she can't wear a collar, you know, because her skin is so delicate it cuts. And so the pearls, of course, are soft and they won't bother her.
Speaker 2:Like a nice hanging necklace, exactly, and she looks very prim and proper she's got Jackie O vibes going on here.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought you were going to say Jackulation vibes, no no ejaculation vibes.
Speaker 2:Back to that.
Speaker 1:Just Jackie, oh, jackie oh, bye yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, oh, my goodness, okay. So yeah, there has been. It's I was. I think I was mentioning to you it's like it's just been a crazy couple of weeks it has been. I feel like we're just going nonstop.
Speaker 2:Yeah, lots going on nonstop and we are as, as all of you have probably noticed, in the last couple of episodes we've had a little challenge with some of our audio. So we've decided to take a little step back and not do the same stuff we were doing before and just record audio with no video because Just doing it like we used to, like we yeah, old school, yeah, just old school in it. Like we used to Back to basics.
Speaker 2:And now I don't have to put on makeup when we're recording Really back to basics, and now I don't have to put on makeup when we're recording Really back to basics, although there will be some clips that we have that we're going to be posting on Instagram and Facebook and stuff. But, yeah, so back to basics and we actually have kind of a good topic today. This is one that, going into spring, I don't know I feel like it's a really important thing to talk about.
Speaker 1:I think so, yeah, and I think happiness is really important to talk about regardless of the time of year. But you mentioned going into spring and I think particularly we feel that because of the transition, from long dark, not long short. Dark days, long nights.
Speaker 2:Yeah, long dark, not long short. Dark days, long nights, yeah, Long dark and cold and wet nights.
Speaker 1:Whatever they are, it's just dark and damp and dreary and you know we're in hibernation and we're inside yeah, all of you that do not live in the Northwest.
Speaker 2:This is what it's like in the winter.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We're just telling you this, in case you wanted to move here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think we've said that before, but it's definitely a thing and I think too, with that, it definitely affects how we are feeling when it's like that. I know people that aren't from here. It's really hard for them to get used to that here in Seattle.
Speaker 2:And I mean some people even have sunlamps or they, or they have, you know, like the tanning places they have. What do they call they're?
Speaker 1:they're like machines that simulate sunshine well, I mean, they don't tan you, I think they just simulate. Well, they have the red light. The red light therapy, yeah, but then the tanning beds too those don't simulate sunshine but you get in there, I I use them yeah I do use them. I do tan Not on her face Crazily, but you know sometimes once a week, maybe once every couple of weeks, but going in there and feeling the warmth and just having the light surrounding my entire body. It definitely is a little pick me up.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:For the mood.
Speaker 2:Well, there's a little bit of that going on right Before we head to Vegas. We're going to Vegas for Michelle's birthday in a couple weeks. And we have to have a little bit of sun before we head there, because I don't want to scare anybody at the pool. So maybe it's self tan, maybe it's, maybe it's the red light therapy, I don't know what the hell it is.
Speaker 1:It makes me happy. It all makes you happy. It does make me happy.
Speaker 2:So I started, I started kind of doing some research on this topic and I ran across this Harvard professor named Arthur Brooks, who's he teaches this course on happiness at Harvard, and he was searching for the best way to describe the foundation of happiness and what is, you know, most common, or what are the traits that are most common, you know, among the happiest people? And when I say happy, I don't mean people that are like nauseously happy.
Speaker 2:I mean sometimes I think they need to get a life reality check when you see people that just have.
Speaker 1:Why though?
Speaker 2:Because sometimes it's like, just seriously, the world is not all sunshine and roses. And I think it's ridiculous not to acknowledge the fact that the world is not all sunshine and roses. And I think it's ridiculous not to acknowledge the fact that the world is not all sunshine and roses, Because without that you wouldn't have good days and bad days.
Speaker 1:But even those people have the bad days, do they? Of course they do.
Speaker 2:I don't know man, I just have to be and I'm not a negative person as a general rule.
Speaker 1:I know you and I are both glass half full people. Yeah sure.
Speaker 2:Glass half full, absolutely, and I think that makes people a tiny bit crazy sometimes, because you're always looking for the silver lining in something or you know the the bright side of whatever the topic is. But you know, through this research what I kind of learned is that there's a lot of folks that look at happiness as more of a destination, like they have to get to the destination and then they're happy when in reality I think a lot of the things that make us happy or that bring happiness to us are things that are part of the journey of living. It's a journey, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So in order to have highs happiness, you know, joy you have to have lows.
Speaker 2:So if you think about it from that perspective, there are so many different things that happen in our lives that bring joy and I think satisfaction, you know, is part of that. But if you break it all down to different categories, if you will, you've got enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose. And through this research, what I was finding is that these are kind of the three categories where people will invest time and energy that have joyful lives, not that everything again is joyful, not that everything is happy, but their contentment. And I really kind of think about that word being content, not being complacent, not being lazy. I don't mean content that way, I just mean being content, being happy with where you're at, being happy with the people that you're around, with the things that you're doing. To me is that's like contentment. Think about sitting around with your family around a bonfire and everybody's cracking jokes and playing games or talking to each other, reminiscing. Those are like those special moments in your life that will bring joy or bring happiness. Same with pictures.
Speaker 1:So what do you think is most common? What are some of the things that are most common among happy people? Back to the question you raised a little bit ago. What do you think? I know you just talked about a couple things, but when you think of the commonalities, of what some of the things are, I think that's a hard question Because it'll be different.
Speaker 2:It's different for everybody.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's different for everybody.
Speaker 2:And also let's let's just start with you. What do you think the commonality? I mean? I feel like you are a generally happy person. I mean we all have our ups and downs, but you are a very happy, positive individual. What do you think drives you to be happy and positive?
Speaker 1:Well, I think some of the things that drive me are and I learned this probably about five years ago that so much of it has to do with choices. You have to choose to be happy. I think it's innately in some people and I think generally I'm a pleasant, happy person, but it's all because of and based on people I choose to have in my life, places I choose to surround myself, people. I choose to surround myself with the kind of work you're doing yeah, what I do every day and spend so much time doing. And you really have to take time to reflect on if you're not happy and you don't have to be happy all the time but if there's, if there's things in life that are making you feel down, not happy, not fulfilled, you really have to spend time on figuring out the why behind that, and no one's really going to ever change those things for you.
Speaker 1:Those are things as an adult especially.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like I like what you said about surrounding yourself with I wouldn't say even like-minded people, because I enjoy being around people that have different ideas and handle things in different ways than I do. That's, that's part of growing and even the ones that wear Trump shirts Only if they have green eyes.
Speaker 1:Oh, I wonder what that means. No, I'm just joking. Trump doesn't have green eyes. Oh, I wonder what that means. No, I'm just joking, trump doesn't have green eyes. I was joking, because I definitely don't care if he has green eyes or not.
Speaker 2:At any rate, there's a little, there's a little joke behind that one I, I do agree.
Speaker 1:I think it's important to surround yourself with like-minded people, but at the same time again, you have to be thoughtful and mindful about the ones that aren't as well. So then you ask yourself Because that can have an effect on your overall mind and emotional well-being depending on how much time you're spending with these people.
Speaker 2:So let's just say that you have I don't say family members or people that you're around all the time that are more negative in nature. I think some of it has to do with, like, the level of security they have in their life, and just the the experiences they've had are defining them. If they are not allowing themselves to find joy and things that are happening on a daily basis, you know, but what do you? How do you handle that? So if you've got people that are happening on a daily basis, you know, but how do you handle that? So if you've got people that are in your life that are not necessarily happy or have a more negative view on life, kept half empty, say, for example, what do you choose to do?
Speaker 1:You have to set boundaries, okay, to protect yourself. Yeah, and again, that's self-awareness and choice. Yeah, and it's not always easy and sometimes the way we set those boundaries are going to be different for one person, based on the why behind the boundary, than it is for another person. That is very true actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is very true.
Speaker 2:I feel like that is something that I've run across on a, I want to say, regular basis, because I, too, try to surround myself with people that are more positive in nature or have a more positive outlook, a silver lining type outlook, but I think there's a fine line between being kind of Pollyanna about things and pie in the sky, thinking everything's just lovely, lovely, and the reality of our world, because we have to be able to understand the things that are going on around us and maybe that makes us more appreciative of what we have or more appreciative of the circumstances we live in or the people we're around. You know, that sort of thing there has to be. In my opinion, there has to be those things in the world, in your life, in order to really be able to learn and appreciate what you have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and and being conscious and aware, that's that's one thing. And just, but listening to you say that again, I think it comes down to and sorry to keep using the word but choice. And Julie knows this about me. It's not like I never watch the news, but I really don't fill my mind with a lot of the chaos that is going around. It's like Julie loves the neighborhood app and she always lets me know when they find a body in the trunk of a car not far from our house.
Speaker 1:Or if there's a coyote roaming around Someone's stealing packages off the port, so I don't need to do any more of that because I got Jules. That fills me in on all that. But, but you get, you get my point there. Uh, some, some people get so wrapped up, and I don't mean you.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I can't but. But you know, with literally they have the TV on all the time and even when you don't realize, subconsciously you're, you are listening. That's why you've got it on is to keep you company and so you're listening and there is so much crap that is happening now and I just don't think it's necessary to constantly be feeding your brain with that shit. So choosing to maybe listen to music or something different to keep you come a different show.
Speaker 2:I know I bring up the news a lot, but I mean there's just a lot of garbage happening right now. You know, the conflicts and wars and things. You know what I usually have on.
Speaker 1:If I have the TV on, it's a show called Lucky Dog. Oh yeah, and it's this guy who gets strays that get brought to the shelter and he goes and gets them and decides, you know, and he's always finding a home and he trains them and gets them all ready for these people's lifestyle. It's a great show. I don't really ever sit down and watch it some all ready for these people's lifestyle. It's a great show.
Speaker 2:I don't really ever sit down and watch it. It's just on the background, yeah, and it's like mine's HDTV Each, because I love looking at all the house flips and all that kind of stuff and it's kind of the same thing in the background you know, or you know, I the TLC, because I love all those little reality shows and stuff too.
Speaker 2:But to your point, yeah, you know, it's definitely something that those things kind of bring you joy. I mean, to me I'll have the TV on, like I'll tell the dogs when I leave. Okay, guys, what do you want to watch? Do you want to watch the news, espn, root Sports? Do you want to watch HGTV? And you know, I just kind of pick something or I'll put on YouTube the dog channel on.
Speaker 2:YouTube or something, but I like to have music around a lot and music brings me a tremendous amount of joy. Yeah, you're, and you have a quite a palette for music you know, quite a variety that you like to listen to, and mine is kind of expanded.
Speaker 1:It's growing quite, Julie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've been really well there's. There's my old palette which had a lot of, like you know, rock and 80s and all that kind of stuff and R&B, moving into kind of a lot of the things, that hip hop, the things that you know I listen to now, but some of the new artists that I'm running across, I'm just like Okay, yeah, I like this.
Speaker 1:You know, it's kind of swims I I I'm obsessed with him?
Speaker 2:yeah, she is, I am, I actually I'm obsessed and and, like india iree, we all know I'm obsessed with her and so I you know, I check all the time to see, okay, when's she going to be touring, where's she going to be playing and I always look at those like destination, like weekend away kind of thing and sure enough, there she is in august and at the hollywood bowl I have no idea how I'm gonna go, where I'm gonna go, who I'm gonna go, and nothing.
Speaker 1:I just bought two tickets. Is that like when you say hollywood bowl? Is that?
Speaker 2:hollywood bowl is like an outside venue in hollywood, in hollywood yeah, yeah I've never been there before. I've heard really amazing things, but they always have a really great artists that play there August 9th, august 9th yeah, I'll check my calendar, she'll check her calendar. We'll see if she'll go. Someone will go. Whoever wants to go? Really, Is it on a Friday or Saturday?
Speaker 1:It's on a Friday. Sorry everybody, I'm sitting here tentatively making plans, but yeah, so so Friday, august 9th.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll find Teddy swims, like in Florida or somewhere like that, you know when he comes back from uh, cause he'll be in Europe, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So those are things that bring you joy, I mean, that's why I was sitting here talking because those are really, and I think too, some of the things, cause I know, last time it just happens to be that we saw Indie Irie, uh, Julie, she kind of made me go Um cause I wasn't yeah, for my birthday five, five years ago.
Speaker 1:Five years ago, um, and we saw her in New Orleans and it was amazing. But just the memory making and, to your point, the destination music. It fills your soul, definitely something I know that's on my journey of happiness.
Speaker 2:I know that's. I mean, my bucket was so full when we were there, you know and and you know, here's the cool thing about it between Eileen and you, I do not have to worry about creating reels or saving all the memories and putting them to music and everything. Because you guys do it all covered and then I can just save it, and then I don't have to make it.
Speaker 1:It's kind of nice.
Speaker 2:So yeah, enjoyment. I think enjoyment's a big part of having a lifestyle where you have joy.
Speaker 1:You know, what I liked is this Arthur Brooks that you were talking about at the beginning is the way that he compared these three that you were talking about enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose and using the analogy of food, nutrients, food for an example. What's missing in our health? In regard to our bodies, what nutrients does it need to be healthy and to feel good? Those are the same. You can liken that with the enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose for emotional well-being Right and our happiness levels.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What is it of enjoyment that it might be missing, or the satisfaction?
Speaker 2:Well, and I think, personality wise, a lot of people will put other people's enjoyment ahead of their own or other people's things. That we do it all the time, you know, with our kids and stuff like that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Which also brings us joy when we see we're doing things for them, you know, or whatever.
Speaker 2:So, as a parent. I think there's lots of different avenues in which you can find satisfaction. And then when you get into that grandparent stage for me it hasn't happened and probably won't for a while, but you've got a bunch of them, yeah, and it's like what joy. I mean, I just think about that and it's like it's so exciting to think about these little humans that are going to be in my future someday, hopefully.
Speaker 1:It really is. I know today was one of my granddaughters turned four today. Oh my gosh and I just can't believe she's four. Time just flies, you know. So making sure that in those circumstances too, with loved ones or people that really are special and mean a lot, I think being mindful of how that time is being spent is super important, as well, I 100% agree.
Speaker 2:I think, being in the moment, really for sure in the moment, because we've talked about that many times where I, you know, I've shared that I have been just going through the motions and things, because I've been in over my head, you know, with so many different things going on and I can always tell when I start getting, when that starts happening, because I'm all over the board, like I'm leaving things here and where are my keys?
Speaker 2:They're in my hand, oh, you know that kind of thing because I've got too much going on. So if you, if you use the analogy of a cup that's full and it's runneth over, yeah, you know, the runneth over part is the where it gets kind of overwhelming and then you start really not enjoying the things that are going on. You're checking them off, you're checking off boxes, kind of a thing to get through the day, get things done, yeah, and that's not good either, right, I think as I've gotten older, I seem to have kind of put a little bit of a stop to that in some ways. Not completely, but I mean it used to be pretty normal for me to just be going mile a minute. Now I try to just take a deep breath and just let myself be. I'm kind of a homebody now Do you think the pandemic has done more of that to you? Maybe?
Speaker 1:I absolutely feel like it did for me. For me, actually, no, I say maybe because the pandemic has such an impact obviously on, but not for me. Uh, the job I worked was still considered essential, so I got up every single day and got ready for work and was able to leave, go to work and do all the things.
Speaker 1:So it was, it wasn't normal, but it kind of was. So no, I just feel like simpler things mean more now than they used to, because you, I think, as we get older, learn to appreciate different things right At different times. But yeah, I just find that I'm cool staying home, I love being home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really do enjoy being home. I like having my tunes going, my cooking something, yeah, just, I mean like Sundays are the best because you're just like tootling around, yeah, getting things done at home, and it just feels good. And I think part of that goes into the next little item here, which is satisfaction. Yeah, and this isn't the song by the Stones where you can't get no satisfaction.
Speaker 2:Can't get no, yeah, but I can. Satisfaction can't get no, yeah, but I can. And satisfaction comes with so many different things, but it really does tie into the level of happiness someone has because the amount of accomplishments you feel, like you're you're making or just little baby steps. It could be something super simple like well, maybe this isn't simple, it's more complicated, but let's say you have a addiction problem and you are clean and you're sober and you're working on your clean and sober stuff every day. That's a huge accomplishment.
Speaker 2:And that would feel so good to be able to go through day by day and make that progress. I haven't been in that role before but that's what I'm thinking about.
Speaker 1:I felt that way when I started doing yoga.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'd never done it before and I just made the decision to do it at home and I just started doing it every single day and every little thing. Well, and you can liken that to anything, I suppose, any kind of workout or anything like that- it's like that, saying no pain, no gain. You know, the more that you're putting into it and working at it, the more satisfaction you get when you accomplish those little milestones along the way. It's just a really good feeling yeah.
Speaker 2:I know, like the gym, for example, you know, with I've had this fractured hand and so of course I didn't really go to the gym because I wasn't lifted. I could have gone, I seriously could have gone and done the other stuff. But now I'm going and I can't punch, but I can. But one of the one of the trainers she's hilarious, she looks at me, she goes can you carry these? She's kind of like, looking at me, like, can you carry these? She had that look, were they weights, little baby weights, okay. And I'm like yeah, I think I can do that Because you don't have to grip them. You know, you just put it in your hand.
Speaker 2:And now I've been doing the, the weights, and I'm telling you it's harder Because it's like you know, 40 minutes or something. They're not very heavy weights but boy oh boy, your shoulders really feel it. But you know I can't do pushups and stuff like that Because you have the way your hand is based, so just not ready to put all that weight on it yet. But anyway, it feels like, it feels good, like I'm accomplishing it. I'm still getting in a good sweat. I'm like okay, I can have something that I want.
Speaker 1:That's a treat tonight because I went to the gym today, or whatever. Well, back to the food analogy too, when you're talking about satisfaction, it makes me think about have you ever been or had a really nice meal like amazingly good food and when you're hungry you enjoy that and feel much more satisfied than when you're full. If you, if you know, if you're not hungry, you have this really great meal, it's not going to be as satisfying.
Speaker 1:No, in the end, no so true, so same same things you know, along with life and that enjoyment that goes along with that satisfaction.
Speaker 2:So so we're talking about other things too, that feed your soul. You know like there's different things like out in nature. You're a big nature girl, big nature.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I. I have found that, as long as there's no bugs, I can be out in nature. But, like you know, going I've go down to saltwater park and it's a gorgeous view and you can walk the stairs and it's the sea breeze. It just feels good, even though you're not there that long maybe half hour, 45 minutes but I feel like I've accomplished something. You know, it's not going to the grocery, it's not a task, it's just something that's for you.
Speaker 1:You know, it's kind of crazy because I find that there are times when I have to make myself do some of those things. Do you ever feel?
Speaker 2:that way, oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you just mentioned, the grocery store. Like we have to go to the grocery store, otherwise we don't have food and we're not going to eat. Right, we have to put gas in our car. There are those things that we have to do, so we're going to do them because they've got to be done. I don't have to go to the beach and walk the stairs and feel the breeze.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Well. And it's like is that a priority? Well, well, it See, that's the thing People don't look at it as a priority.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you have to recognize too though I don't know if you remember, at the beginning of the year I was in a really I don't know why, but I was in a funk and I could not figure out why I just wasn't feeling up to par. I wasn't feeling really that happy, normal. I couldn't really figure it out, but those are the times when you literally have to make yourself get out and do some of those things. I was in a funk too, yeah it's almost like.
Speaker 2:it's almost like when you'd have your period at the same time as the person that you're in sync with. We're just in a funk at the same time Funky funk, but yeah, no, you have to. I have to force myself to do stuff.
Speaker 1:And then when you do it you're like I'm so glad I did that. You know it's really hard to make yourself step outside of that and do that, even taking a walk and getting fresh air and just being outside and feeling the sun on your face just even for 15 minutes, whatever. Just little things, step by step, because that compound effect will definitely kick in and it's all little components of of kind of that peacefulness, that you bring yourself that journey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the journey to that journey going back to that.
Speaker 1:Exactly, that's exactly it.
Speaker 2:I think too. Sometimes. I mean, I don't know how you feel like there's some people like I feel like I'm an introvert, but not really Like I'm an extrovert definitely an extrovert I'm definitely, you know, out there talking to people, stuff like that. But I've found that I need to have time on my own to kind of re-energize myself. I've never been like that before. It's always been like. You know, I just keep going, and keep going. And now I think maybe I needed to be and I just didn't Now.
Speaker 2:I'm like no, I'm good, I'm just going to take a little time for myself.
Speaker 1:I think circumstances in life have a lot to do with that. I'm thinking and reflecting same thing.
Speaker 2:There's all kinds of things you can fill your life with to keep you there's all kinds of things you can fill your life with to keep you.
Speaker 1:you know, avoiding activity versus outcome. Yeah, you know to avoid. You know, if you're in a bad relationship, if you've got shit going on with your kids, whatever it is, you can keep yourself real busy, just like at work.
Speaker 2:I've been very I've been very guilty of that before where I just throw myself into my work because I have a tendency to be kind of a workaholic anyway, but I just throw myself into it because it's easier to do that sometimes, and it's like with my work there is no, there's no real ceiling. You can. You can be as successful, probably, as you want to be, or you can not do anything you know it's kind of all on you, nobody's doing it for you.
Speaker 2:you don't get a paycheck unless you work, you know. So you have to be kind of more driven that way, I think, anyway, to do this type of work. But I mean everybody, regardless of the type of profession you have, has days when they're just like I don't really feel like doing that.
Speaker 2:But going back to the interaction, I think human interaction or interaction with people that have different views on life or their world or whatever the case may be, not not controversial, meaning like we're butting heads, but just it's nice to see and think and hear about what other people do, what other people think, how they're living their lives. It's not all about me.
Speaker 1:Well, you can glean from that Sure and get ideas and new things that you might want to try. You know what? I can't fucking stand though People who are negative all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah. They can suck the ever living life out of you? I can't. No, I know.
Speaker 1:It's really hard to be around somebody like that.
Speaker 2:Do you think people that are life suckers, like we just talked? About do they know that they are?
Speaker 1:Sometimes I think they know, but I think most of the time they don't even realize it.
Speaker 2:Well, I found, instead of trying to, you know, I'll make an effort to try to say, well, if you look at it from this perspective, or well, there's a possibility this could be another way to look at it. You know, I'll try that, yeah, but if it doesn't resonate, I'm just like okay, but but see back to the Pollyannas that you were talking about.
Speaker 1:You're probably the Pollyanna to those type of people, yeah, yeah, and it's not like sickeningly positive. So there's all different kinds of levels. It's interesting, as we're talking about this stuff, because I think there's a lot of different levels of happiness and choices and different things that go along with this.
Speaker 2:Well, my goal would be for people to walk away from listening to this and it's not going to be this really long podcast, but listening to this and really asking the questions to themselves what am I doing for myself to maintain my joy and my happiness? Do I have to rely on other people to create my joy for me? If you do, that's a problem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that's where a lot of midlife things happen, or empty nest the empty nest syndrome. We've never really done an episode on that.
Speaker 2:We have it on our list.
Speaker 1:But that's a big one for people our age and their kids are gone. And, yeah, when you realize that everything you've been doing is for others and you got to figure out now what are you going to do for yourself that brings you joy, that seems like a big word. It doesn't have to be this big, joyful, soul-filling thing.
Speaker 2:It can be I think going into the next one, which is satisfaction. Yeah, it's like there's things that we do in our lives that bring us the contentment, I would say, or the satisfaction of what you're doing. But then, you know, going back to the whole, getting to that age where I'm like what is the purpose of our life? What is? These are all very existential questions. It's like I'm not expecting and it's very rhetorical, I'm not expecting you to answer me right at the moment. I'm sure you will, but but it's like what? Like I was telling you in a couple of podcasts three podcasts, I don't remember a few podcasts ago. It's like I came to this realization that I've lived 59 Christmases and then I'm not going to have that many left. Now, I'm not trying to be negative about it, I'm just being a realist. Yeah, it's like I may have. You know well, who knows? We don't know what tomorrow's not promised, right?
Speaker 2:But let's just say hypothetically, yeah maybe I have 25 more or something. I mean, it's just when you think about it that way, it's like, damn, yeah, I better get my shit together and figure out what I want to do, because I want all of those to have significance and meaning. You know, not necessarily holidays, but just like time, like my kid is moving to another state right, this is the first time this is happening and he is going to be have a very happy life.
Speaker 2:I know he is and he's going to have some amazing children with this amazing woman. I know it, but I'm not going to be around those kids every day. You don't know that. Well, I don't live there. That's what I said.
Speaker 1:You don't know that I mean who knows, maybe a live there.
Speaker 2:That's what I said. You don't know that. I mean, who knows, maybe a lot can change. A lot can change, but I'm just thinking. So I'm thinking to myself and of course I'm thinking about this way in advance. It's like I have to think about how am I going to have a relationship with these children that don't exist yet, to where they remember me as being a part of their life when they're little. They're not going to necessarily remember, but it's the feeling that you have.
Speaker 2:I mean, my kids have a really wonderful feeling and really great memories about their grandparents because there was effort that was placed, and my parents or my mom, and I know Brian's parents they get satisfaction out of spending time with their grandkids and learning about what they're doing and all kinds of stuff like that, and I just think that's cool that they're invested in something other than themselves, because it's really easy for us to go hey, peace out.
Speaker 2:You know you guys could live your lives. You've got your kids, you're doing your thing. Now I'm going to do mine, which I totally am going to do. Right, you can do both. Yeah, you can do both, exactly For sure. Well, it was funny because they had I can't think it was Zoe Zoe and Andrew had said well, you're going to be our daycare, right? I almost started laughing. I'm like you want me to watch your children full time. Really, isn't that what your mom did for you?
Speaker 1:She did, did when well see, they just remember, see, so they, they just want that to continue. But she was home and it was because Zachary died right so she was like there's no way, anybody else, anybody's gonna, and I and I went back to work, you know. So it was like someone's gonna watch him.
Speaker 2:That knows him. But to your point, it's like I'm not planning on watching my grandkids full time. I want to enjoy my grandkids, I want to have time with them, I want to take my grandkids full time. I want to enjoy my grandkids.
Speaker 1:I want to have time with them.
Speaker 2:I want to take them places and do stuff, but I want our relationship to be special. I don't want it to be something where they go. Oh God, I got to go to grandma's again.
Speaker 1:I don't want that you know it won't be like that.
Speaker 2:So what do you? What do you think that satisfaction, what creates satisfaction for people? Think that satisfaction, what creates satisfaction for people.
Speaker 1:You know when we're talking about the happiness quotient Create satisfaction for people. Well, it's just the accomplishment, just like we've been talking about. And you know doing things and it's just like raking leaves. It's not a fun task, but when you see the see, the before and the after it's, it's like this accomplishment and just I think that is very satisfying.
Speaker 2:You know, when we are talking about people in our lives who are trying to develop their level of satisfaction and things meaning people, that we are children mostly. But if we give them things, if we're handing them things, do you think that they appreciate them as much?
Speaker 1:Well, that's. I know we've talked a lot about these different kinds of things now and that level of expectation that can be there with this newer generation. You know, I would imagine it's a little bit more. That's a really good question, julie, actually.
Speaker 2:I mean, I've had a tendency to do that. That's what I'm saying. But I think it's because the way that it was handled for me, yeah, was very different. It was very conditional. I mean, it was kind of like we will do this, but only if you do this, or we'll help you, but I never heard the end of it, kind of a thing.
Speaker 1:Not really my mom, but it was my dad.
Speaker 2:But yeah, but so I don't want to be that person for my kids.
Speaker 2:I want them to know that they could always come to me, my friends, whatever, whoever I'm able to help. When I'm able to help them, I want them to feel like they can do that. But when I was going through and kind of looking at these, this research and stuff, I know that the things that I have had to work my ass off for, whatever those things may have been through the course of my life, are always the things that I remember more significantly, because there was absolutely yeah there was a sacrifice maybe that was made to get me to where I needed to go.
Speaker 2:There was a tremendous amount of time invested. Yeah you know, in whatever we were doing. So a lot more to your point, memorable and meaningful, meaningful, yeah, I think it has a lot more meaning, you know, if you have, if you have, like a kid, pay for half his bike yeah, and do his little paper route or whatever he needs to do to come up with the money for half his bike.
Speaker 2:And or like with Jared I think it was an Xbox or something you know and I'm like there's no way in hell I'm giving that kid an Xbox because he would totally be that kid that is like you. You need to give me an Xbox, but you know, pay for half of it and you work and you make half of the money for it, and then you know, then we'll talk about it.
Speaker 1:That's my, my youngest, isaac. He is just about to graduate college and he did most of his tuition himself. Yeah, hopefully that makes a difference on what he does with that degree, but he'll. I think that will be memorable for him.
Speaker 2:So it's interesting that you should say that because Andrew had his college paid for. I mean, he didn't until his fifth year, because he ended up changing majors and so his fifth year he had he borrowed money, but all four years the only thing he had to come up with was his own spending money. I mean, how many kids have?
Speaker 1:that luxury Right.
Speaker 2:And I remember him saying one time it's like well, if this wasn't paid for I probably wouldn't go, and I about flipped a lid.
Speaker 1:Because I'm like what?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you wouldn't take out a loan you wouldn't do whatever it takes Well. I mean how privileged are you to come from a family that can help you do that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know, and not all kids have that opportunity. So then after the divorce, it's like we have a different circumstance, right? So he's going to college right. So he's going to college, but totally different.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm paying for some of her. She's paying for some of it. My mom picked up some of it. You know that sort of thing. I think Brian paid for some of it too, but and then Jared just isn't interested at this point in anything like that, so he's not getting any college paid for. But we would help him, sure. But it would be, you know something where I wouldn't just hand them the money Right and have to be much more committed to doing that.
Speaker 1:So so all of those things kind of but yeah, I think, when it comes to kids, to your point, what we're talking about college or otherwise, whatever it is, college, a car for them to work for something and do it for themselves definitely gives them a sense of purpose, like we're talking about, and responsibility, responsibility, purpose, satisfaction. They don't realize it in the moment probably, but definitely you know that's a really good thing for them to be able to do and unfortunately nowadays we haven't used that term in a while, but nowadays a lot of that doesn't happen.
Speaker 2:I know Jared sent me a couple pictures a few days ago and he's working now with a construction company and sounds like this company has been really great from a small and they've been teaching him a lot of things about the construction world and building and all he has kind of a mind for that and anyway, he built this deck and he has and he did all his measurements and did all this stuff and it looked really good.
Speaker 1:He sent me the pictures he was so freaking proud of himself.
Speaker 2:I know I was just like right on yeah, exactly what I'm talking about. Nobody did it for him. Yeah, he did it himself. He's got the sense of accomplishment and he really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:It so um yeah, I was really excited to see that you know, something else that really brings me joy when our listeners download our episodes yeah, well, it gives me great purpose to want to uh record more when they do and when they do it, such a sense of satisfaction being able to just have it at your fingertips and listen to it again. And, girl, it brings me great joy.
Speaker 2:It really does.
Speaker 1:So I guess you could tell we're rounding it up here, and coming to an end, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think just a little bit left on that purpose one. There is no wrong answer when you're trying to figure out what your purpose is. Everybody has a different role, you know, in what they're trying to do and what they're playing. So it's all about what is fulfilling for you and what in your life you know brings you that happiness, and I think that's just something that we have to constantly be reminding ourselves of we deserve that.
Speaker 2:We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be around people that feel the same way, and trials and tribulations are not going to make us unhappy.
Speaker 1:They just might make us sad or whatever, enjoy the happy that much more.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:When it is there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you bring me great joy. Miss Shelly Belly, you're on this journey, yeah, journey of joy. Well, at least I'm not wearing a pearl necklace. Well, at least I'm not wearing a pearl necklace. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness Back to that. On that note. Yeah, Thanks everybody for joining us today. We hope that you have enjoyed listening and keep in mind we're out on all the socials Instagram, Facebook and TikTok. As long as it's not regulated yet or banned, you know we are still on there, Yep, so until next time everybody.
Speaker 2:Have a good one, everybody, and we'll chat with you soon. Peace out, peace out, bye-bye, bye hey.