Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
Spicy Midlife Women is the ultimate podcast for women over 40 who are rewriting the rules of midlife, breaking free from relationship drama, and leaving toxic patterns behind.
It’s all about embracing authenticity, building meaningful connections, and living unapologetically through candid conversations, hard-earned wisdom, and raw truth.
Hosted by Jules and Michele, two midlife women with real stories and no-BS advice, the Spicy MidLife Women Podcast will guide you in redefining relationships, breaking free from what's holding you back, and reclaiming your power—one episode at a time!
Prepare to get clear on what you really want in your relationships—whether it’s romance, family, or friendships, let go of past baggage and open yourself up to the possibility of fresh, exciting connections.
You’ll also gain the wisdom and confidence to approach dating and relationships with confidence and zero judgment, and feel empowered to ditch outdated expectations, creating a life that truly feels good on your own terms.
Plus, find a supportive sisterhood along the way—because you don’t have to do this alone!
Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
Season 2 Episode 74: The Comedy and Chaos of Procrastination
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Ever wondered why we procrastinate even when we know it stresses us out? Michele and Julee hilariously dissect their own procrastination habits, sharing stories from Michelle's Nordstrom days where a supportive team helped her stay on track. Discover how looming deadlines can be a double-edged sword, sometimes boosting performance but often leading to anxiety. We touch on everything from managing time to balancing planning with spontaneity, and how even holiday shopping isn't immune to the procrastination dilemma.
Tune in as we shift gears to uncover strategies for overcoming procrastination, especially within families and relationships. Explore the dynamics between proactive doers and hesitant thinkers, and how this division of labor can lead to both humorous mishaps and significant stress. Learn about the importance of stepping out of comfort zones and embracing discomfort to challenge oneself and grow. From battling distractions to finding the perfect balance between perfection and efficiency, we provide a toolkit of strategies to help you turn procrastination into productivity.
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Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
The Procrastination Dilemma
Speaker 1Hey everybody . This is Michelle and this is Julie . Welcome to a blonde , a brunette and a mic podcast . What is our podcast all about , you ask ?
Speaker 2Well , we're 250 something .
Speaker 1Women with life experience and oh bloody to say , which is exactly what we're gonna do right now Wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait . I , I , I I'm not quite ready to to get this one started , really Just not yet . What's what's holding you back ? I just let me put it off for just a little bit longer .
Speaker 2Are you wanting to procrastinate and stall and stall ? Yes .
Speaker 1I am a master at procrastinating .
Speaker 2No , I'm a master . Okay , everybody , we laugh because we're totally masters at this .
Speaker 1Oh , procrastination , why do we do it ?
Speaker 2I don't know I shouldn't say that I do it a lot , so I can probably speak to that . I know for me , when I have a large project or I have something that's going to require a lot of time or attention , I will put it off and put it off . And put it off because I want to be able to have the time to do it without getting interrupted , like , for example Well , this happened a lot when I worked at Nordstrom , that's what I remember and I had , like an amazing trainer and I had other people that were not procrastinators , that had you know , they would just basically kick my ass and gear and say , okay , we need to do this or whatever .
Speaker 2In terms of what I've got going on today . I would say my procrastination might be around other things like just basic things , like I don't want to go to Costco . I lead such an exciting life . Right , I don't want to go to Costco , or I don't want to do this , or I don't feel like doing that , or whatever . I put things off .
Speaker 1So what I know about myself is I tend to I feel like I do , anyways perform better under pressure . Yes , so if I have a test that I'm studying for like when I did my insurance tests and that kind of stuff , I would study , study , study . But I would cram like last minute and just before and I feel like I would put it off , put off the studying or projects I put off until I really know that I got to get it done . Then I bust ass and I get it done and you do a good job .
Speaker 2Right , yeah , do you think sometimes , going back to over committing when we were talking about that another episode that you maybe have too many projects at once ? No , in your mind , no , I do . I mean , like I'll start a project , yeah , and then I'm not so bad that I start the project and leave it halfway anymore . But sometimes I would start a project and I'd be like I don't want to do this anymore , and then I'll move on to some other project and I'd leave something that wasn't finished .
Speaker 1I mean , I get lost when it is projects . I'm just thinking of household things . I can find myself getting lost in projects . But no , I literally , if I'm planning something or if I'm studying for something or I know I have to get ready to do whatever it is , I typically will wait . I don't want to say till last minute , but I do it when I know I got to do it and I get it done . I don't know why .
Speaker 2Do you think some of that is linked to lack of time management ?
Speaker 1I would like to say no , but it very well could be Because you have too many things happening . I am a list person , but not always . I'm not this rigid total planner . I got the list , I check it off . I am not like that . When I need to be , I like at work , I am . I do lists at work for getting things done . But just in life in general , when it comes to things , yeah , I don't know why , but I do tend to procrastinate .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think when we do avoid things at least I can speak for myself it tends to lead to more stress and it's subtle and it's understated . It's not like I'm outwardly stressed out , but I can feel it . You know , in the back , in the back of my mind I'm like I know I've got to get this done .
Speaker 1I just thought of a great example and when you mentioned stress , I would much rather be stressed out for a short period of time than three weeks prior and trying to plan and prepare and do all that . You know you're getting ready and you got to do this , and you got to do that and prepare and do all that . You know you're getting ready and you got to do this and you got to do that , and so it's three weeks of stress as opposed to three days .
Speaker 2But do you think that if you did the planning and preparing , whatever , if it's a project or something , it's just like Christmas ?
Speaker 1shopping . I do it all like literally in a day . I don't do it weeks ahead , I don't try to plan it out . I will get it done in like a day or two and be done . Really out I will get it done in like a day or two and be done . Stress is over . I don't want to deal with it more than that , I'm just like power through it , get it done . It's only one or two days of stress .
Speaker 2On just a side note , talking about that . Isn't that kind of sad when you think about it , because it's supposed to be . It's supposed to be like this awesome thing where you're giving and it's like it's so much pressure for people .
Speaker 1Yeah , I know .
Speaker 2That's a whole different topic . But , I find that . So I'm a very spontaneous planner , so I know that's an oxymoron .
Speaker 1I know that did throw me when you said that . Yeah , spontaneous . I just heard the moron part . She didn't hear the oxymoron .
Speaker 2Yes , because you guys always tease me about being a planner . Oh , she's such a planner , she's got it . Well , I like to have things to look forward to .
Speaker 1We've all established that right , and actually I've gotten better . Yeah , you have gotten better .
Speaker 2But at the same time , I love being spontaneous . And so there are , I've got to do . I'm a list person . I keep a list for work and then also I obviously incorporate personal stuff in there as well . Well , I've got shit on that list that's been sitting there for three months and I keep writing it every day . That's stressful to me .
Speaker 1Well , just listening to you say that stresses me out , but I do that because I'll forget if I don't put it on there .
Speaker 2How important is it if it's been on there for three months . It's just stuff that has to get done you know , and I'll forget about it .
Speaker 1That's a different list . That's a different list that needs to be had . Then no different list that needs to be had then ? No , it's constantly in my mind , it's yeah yeah , I guess that does create some stress , right ? I mean , just , I'm thinking , if it's stuff that has to get done and here we are three months later and it hasn't gotten done , I think that's procrastinating , even though you have a list , jules .
Speaker 2Oh , actually , actually now that you say that I like that .
Speaker 1I just made that point .
Speaker 2Like I said , it's stuff that I know that has to get done . Okay , like here . Let me give you an example . Let me give you an example of what was on that list Just today's . Whatever day of the week it is Monday , so a couple of days ago , my taxes , what it is is June right now right . So we had an extension . That was done , which we always do because of our business taxes and all that kind of stuff .
Speaker 2Well , my taxes , my personal taxes , have been on my list since January or February , I guess , because I know that I have to wait for all the documents to come in . You've got to do this , that and the other thing . Well , I finally literally crossed that off my list this weekend . Yay , I know , it felt so good to get it done . But that really is kind of a you see what I'm saying about it being this monumental task .
Speaker 1Yeah , but it's . It is kind of a question Was that procrastinating ?
Speaker 2Or wasn't it ? It was procrastinating after probably the middle of February .
Speaker 1Okay , yeah .
Speaker 2Because I mean , when all your documents come in , you can do everything . That's for the fiscal year last year for the calendar year last year . It's done . So it's just a matter of pulling everything together and pulling . Like you know , we've got the rental , the short-term rental , so I've got to document all of the expenses and everything .
Speaker 1You don't have to send any of that stuff , even even though you have list people I list people out there just because you have a list doesn't mean that you're not procrastinating . Yeah , there , now I feel better about my own self .
Speaker 2A , b and C priorities right .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2So the A priorities are the ones that you can take care of quickly , and then I can mark them off and I feel so accomplished . I do .
Speaker 1Actually , I do that , yeah , so that I can feel , like , for that very reason , like I actually am getting stuff done . Look , look at all these checks I am marking off . I am such an efficient person .
Speaker 2I wonder sometimes , when people say that they are procrastinating , whether they're just processors like people , people like making decisions and things , or some people I deal with people all the time that have to make really big decisions with their homes and stuff . Some people are procrastinators because they're just on the outside that's what it looks like , but really they're just processors .
Speaker 1I think that , well , you think , or is that some of it might be fear if they're a first time home . I'm just thinking if I was a first time home buyer , that's the giant amount of money , especially when you live here in Washington , I know .
Speaker 2So it could just be that making that decision , kind of like determining what is the objection . You know like I had a contract I was helping an agent with and everything . They got everything that they wanted . On this sixth or seventh home they put an offer on and finally their offer is accepted .
Speaker 2I think they were so shocked that their offer was accepted that they were like wait a minute , what's wrong ? You know what happened , what's wrong ? And we're totally procrastinating on signing it Because they wanted to get reassurance from I don't know their lender , someone else on the deal . And so I'm talking to this new agent , trying to help her , guide , her people , and I think sometimes it's just important to say what are your objections , what is happening that's making you hesitate , because it might just be that they need to talk through whatever their concern is , whatever their anxiety is associated with , and maybe that's all it takes .
Speaker 1I think you know decisions like that , the decision making part , I feel like that's kind of different than actual procrastinating . I feel like and correct me if I'm wrong I'm just really thinking about this right now , in this moment , but procrastinating to me seems like something that has to do with a task , like a physical task something that we do .
Speaker 2It could be that you need to go see the doctor because you .
Speaker 1Yeah , something's going on . I guess it's all the same decisions and tasks .
Speaker 2You might be in fear of the outcome from what you are procrastinating on or what you are stalling to do . Stalling is another way of looking at it . That could also be something that you're doing because you're trying to buy time . You know you're trying to be strategic about what you're doing . Maybe it's involving finances or something . And so you're pushing something off . It's not that you're quote procrastinating for any other reason that you are . It's your strategy
Overcoming Procrastination and Comfort Zones
Speaker 2.
Speaker 1I think sometimes people too are just to your point more thinkers , more of a thinker when it comes to different things . They're not always pushing the button Right .
Speaker 2We know someone who likes to push the button . Yeah , like make things happen , yeah , constantly .
Speaker 1And then I'm a little bit more hesitant . I want to think about things . I think about through . What's the financial impact ? I do it , see , and so I guess it stems out . It's kind of a joke in our family . To those that have married into the family , especially married the women , it's like , oh my God , just for them to make a decision .
Speaker 2Can we ?
Speaker 1just can you just say where you want to eat . Why does it always have to be this bit ? You know what it's always this discussion ? Yeah , it's not even about stalling .
Speaker 2It's more and that could be more . Like , when have you ever run across people where what sounds good for dinner , hey , whatever you want ? Yeah , it's like my mom does this . What sounds good ? It's like oh , whatever , whatever's convenient , whatever's good . Oh , I really would like some chinese food , though let's do you know , or the she'll go .
Speaker 2Oh , let's go to . What was it ? The other day she was saying something about we were driving somewhere . She's such a backseat driver and we're driving somewhere and she goes . You know , if you take this exit , it would probably be faster . I said , yeah , but we are not going to do that , we're going to go this way who's in control ?
Speaker 2well , because I'm kind of like who cares ? Are you on a timeline ? You have to get to your job . I mean , what's going on ? Are you in a hurry ? Yeah , no , she just likes to be a backseat driver . Anyway , I don't know how I digressed onto that , but I think sometimes too , is when you are procrastinating . You might have someone else in your life who's not a procrastinator and you bank on them being the one to get things moving . Yeah , maybe , for example , you are good at planning trips or planning getaways or whatever and someone else is not great at doing it .
Speaker 2And so that task , that responsibility , ends up falling on the person's shoulders who's more of a doer and not the person's shoulders who's the procrastinator . But the procrastinator is bitching from the cheap seats about the decisions that's not cool .
Speaker 1It's funny because , as you're talking about that , I'm thinking about me and Rick . He has done way more traveling than I ever have and recently , in the last couple years , we've done some traveling and he's more knowledgeable about booking flights and and all that stuff because he's had experience in doing it . I am not , so there have been a few tasks that we come together on and that he has put me in charge of . It pushes me out of my comfort zone . It's very uncomfortable , but it has been a really good thing for somebody like me in that fashion to be able to tackle those things , accomplish it and learn from it . And because it is it's not this particularly , but things that you're not familiar with doing it can't . The outcome can be fearful . For example , I booked our transportation to and from the airport .
Speaker 1We're going on a trip coming up here next month , right , so , I took care of booking the transportation to and from the airport , like I can do that . Yeah , don't no worries , hon . I got you , I got you . Well , I was one digit off in the phone number .
Speaker 2Oh no .
Speaker 1Oh no , you know what I mean . So I was like God damn it . Of course . Here I do this and then I'm one digit off in the phone number . I can't you know .
Speaker 2So anyways , it's just stuff like that , and if you don't have transportation , you know who's going to be getting the blame .
Speaker 1That's what I mean , like , and if they can't get ahold of us ? So certainly I got to figure out , call and get the number fixed and all that stuff . But it's really no big deal once you dive into it . I actually took care of that yesterday . I got the number updated , it's fine .
Speaker 2Got it all taken care of Taking care so .
Speaker 1but the unknown , you just got to dive in , step into it , feel the discomfort , work through it and be done with it .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I do believe that's a big reason why people do that . When I'm getting ready to , I like planning , you know .
Speaker 1I like planning activities .
Speaker 2I like planning trip , I like planning all that stuff . And if I'm with someone else , like other people , like we travel all of us together and stuff , yeah , people are hesitant sometimes about taking on some of that because there's finances involved with all of it . There's people that you have to get approval from , and so nobody does anything .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2And what I've found works is that if we split up the responsibilities , and there's a big joke .
Speaker 2Yeah , there's a big joke in my family about like I've booked the family vacations and oh Lord I have . I've messed a few things up like thought I booked this one resort in Mexico and it was a different resort Just stupid things like that . That I'm like moving too fast , have too many tabs open , kind of a thing . I'm not a procrastinator when it comes to that sort of thing , but I don't always make Might not be what you wanted to do , but you got something done , yeah .
Speaker 2So what are some of the ways you think maybe you can avoid being a procrastinator , or avoid procrastinating and stalling , if you feel that that is a problem for you , I think , by challenging yourself to do things differently .
Speaker 1Again , it's interesting because I feel like some of the episodes we've done recently is that self-awareness has been a topic in regard to some of these things that we're talking about , and I think it's no different in this case Self-awareness of procrastinating and choosing to , like I just said , step forward , move through it , do things differently , and it's going to involve some of being uncomfortable .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 1Just like anything , some of being uncomfortable , just like anything .
Speaker 2I think , first and foremost for me I need to .
Navigating Procrastination and Distractions
Speaker 2When I find myself doing something like that , I ask myself why are you doing this ? It's like an internal conversation . Why are you procrastinating Because I'm hesitant about spending the money , or I'm hesitant about pissing someone off , or I'm hesitant about spending the time on it and not getting the outcome that I want ? There could be a lot of different reasons . But , if you acknowledge what those reasons are in advance , then perhaps you can get past them .
Speaker 1There's some things , though I have to say . There are some things that I mean you can call it procrastination or whatever , just like I was saying my test taking , cramming at the end . That is what works for me . So spreading it out over a course of time might be great for somebody else , but I do know in some instances . So I hate to call it procrastinating . I guess it could seem like that , because I do things last , you know , at the very last , so that I know I have to get it done .
Speaker 2And I think that's procrastinating .
Speaker 1Which is fine , but that's what works for me . Am I giving myself an excuse ? Is it not okay to procrastinate ?
Speaker 2Well , I think , if it's detrimental to your stress level .
Speaker 1But if I have , good outcomes though , but like my outcomes , like my test score , great .
Speaker 2Could it have been better if you did it differently ?
Speaker 1I've never done it any differently , so that's always the way you've operated .
Speaker 2Yeah , doesn't matter , like even when you were a kid . Yes , yeah . I was always that way too . I would cram at the last minute but honestly , to be quite frank , I could have done better if I'd invested more time and energy into , like I'm thinking about , school , you know . I mean , I was totally a crammer . Yeah you know I would , just wasn't my , wasn't my thing , but I would do well . But I wonder if I would have done better if I had actually been more regimented or more purposeful you know , with my time , I never really learned those skills from anybody that I can recall .
Speaker 1Yeah , part of it for me and I guess this is where that word fearful comes in is I fear that I would forget .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1I want to have it all in my brain there . As for the , you know what I mean as in the most recent past as possible , so that I can remember the things . Yeah , I don't know .
Speaker 2One other thing that I've done to try to help myself with my procrastination issue is putting things on my calendar , like I try to . I will actually block out time , if there's like for the taxes that I was just telling you about . It's like I blocked out chunks of time on three different days and I pretty much stuck to it , which was surprising , but I needed to do it in a time frame when I wasn't having a lot of distractions .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2And when things were like I remember you were coming , you came up and we were going to maybe record or something , I was like I'm in a zone .
Speaker 2I was like I needed to get this done . I've got it all sitting here . Well , then it sat for three more days and then I had another chunk of time that I worked on it , but it took three different chunks of time for me to get it done . And get it done well , the way I wanted to . And I really had to consciously do that , because I'm thinking it's June , for God's sake , julie , get your shit together . And that was what I was thinking to myself and it's like , yay , it felt so good to get that done and get that off my plate .
Speaker 2So I think , doing it in little compartmentalized pieces of time if you're able to do . That really does help .
Speaker 1And I think it depends on the project or whatever it is that you're doing too , because that will work with some things , maybe not so much for others , right ?
Speaker 2Yeah , and the level of perfection that you expect from yourself when you're working on whatever it is that you're procrastinating on is sometimes could be a negative effect on your ability to move forward doing it , expecting perfection .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2Or which you know , we all know , there's nothing perfect out there . But you know putting your best effort into something . You know when you put your best effort into something , whether it be a presentation or whether it be , you know , an analysis of some kind or whatever you could tell . I mean , you know you better than anybody else .
Speaker 2You know , when you put the effort into something the way that you need it to , and if you don't have the time to be able to do that well , then you half-ass it , and when you half-ass it a lot of the time , that's very , very noticeable to people , definitely .
Speaker 2I mentioned before about removing distractions . That's huge in my book because I think I've learned over the course of my adulthood that I've got like some kind of ADD thing going on . I've never been diagnosed with anything , but if you really look at how I do things , I've noticed that I move from one thing to the other constantly . It's even my even how I like conversations as you've probably been able to tell I find that , do that and I I'll move on to something else .
Speaker 2Even when I'm cleaning the house , it's like I'll start on the kitchen and then I'll need to take something from the kitchen into the laundry and then I'm like , oh , I need to start a little laundry . So then I'll do . I don't stick with one thing . I keep moving on to all these other things . Until before you know it , the house is clean , but it's but it wasn't done like in segments , it was all done like at the same time . Yeah , I don't know that . That's normal all over the place .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's how I go , and I think too what's normal . Our phones are a huge distraction now . Yeah , I know we've gotten into that a lot . We've gotten into that a lot lately , but you're talking about removing distractions and we've got this distraction that we carry around with us all the time .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1You know we've always got it in our hand and when we go to bed it's right there and start scrolling , and you know so we may not be getting the rest that we need all kinds of different things but yeah definitely a distraction .
Speaker 2You notice how my phone people is way over there , mine's not , it's right here on my lap . Yeah , hers is in her lap , but I know me , and so I will put it out of the way , because I'm focusing on one thing right now and I don't want to be distracted . You have the ability to focus on more things , apparently , than I do , and what do you think about like excuses , like if we stop making excuses for ourselves , like I catch myself making excuses for why I'm not doing something or why I haven't done something .
Speaker 2And then I have to stop and go quit being such a lame duck . You need to stop making excuses .
Speaker 1So I have a couple of thoughts on that , because I think that there are reasons , that there's going to be reasons in life , and I think we can be too hard on ourselves if we say , oh , we're just making up excuses . That's kind of belittling what we need in our life for the reasons why we're doing things , and sometimes there are situations where there might be very valid reasons as to why something has been put off or we haven't done something , and I think there are instances where we need to not be so hard on ourselves .
Speaker 2Okay , so going back to .
Speaker 1well , I think that's part of perfection . It's like , oh , I'm making . So if I tell myself you're just making up excuses , well am I ? I'm expecting myself to be perfect and to get it done . There's all these fine lines that you have to be aware of , you have to ask yourself why you're making the excuses . But are they excuses ? Are they legit or do we have valid reasons sometimes in life ?
Speaker 2Or are we afraid of the outcome ? Or do we not want to ? That's what I'm saying . There could be a variety of things .
Speaker 1Well , yeah , there's all these , but I mean , as far as excuses , I just , I just think sometimes there's reasons , there are column , excuses , column , whatever they might be , but I might be an hour late for work because if I'm exhausted and then I need to sleep or whatever . Sometimes in life there are valid reasons for the things that we do or don't do .
Speaker 2Your boss is not going to be okay If you say I was really tired so I'm coming in late . Today . That wasn't a very good example .
Speaker 1But you know what I'm saying ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean , there's you know well , I'm speaking from my own personal experience and it's like I do have to ask myself sometimes . It's like I just don't want to do it and so I'll just come out and just say I'm at that point now where it's like I don't even make an excuse , I'll just be like I don't want to do it , yeah so I'm not procrastinating , I'm just don't want to do it . Right , but it might be something you have to do , so , yeah . So I guess people you out there , you need to really kind of analyze . Going back to the focus on , you know why you're procrastinating , if you are procrastinating and , like Michelle said , giving yourself some grace on whatever it is that you feel like you're not accomplishing at that moment , because perhaps you've spread yourself too thin because you're a people pleaser .
Speaker 2The other episode that we had last week , or you have too many commitments on your plate and you're pushing things off because you just don't have the ability to handle them . So everybody knows what answer they have for themselves , and we don't know what that answer is for anybody but our own selves I suppose yeah , for sure anyway . So I'm not going to procrastinate any longer me neither .
Speaker 1We're just gonna like say what it is . Check us out on our socials . Download our episodes . Take a listen if you like what you hear , tell your friends about us , and until next time .
Speaker 2We will see you . No , we won't . We will talk to you . No , we won't .
Speaker 1We will chat On the flip side , yeah , or something like that , next week guys , all right , bye , bye hey .