Ep. 20: Married, Parents & Believers with Arden and Christian Bevere

In this episode, we are joined by an amazing couple, Arden and Christian Bevere. Learn the challenges they faced early in their marriage and the importance of learning how to communicate and the significance of fighting for unity in their relationship. 💪🏻

Join us on this insightful journey, filled with authenticity, vulnerability, and wisdom. Whether you're a married couple, a parent, or simply seeking guidance in your spiritual walk, this episode offers encouragement, inspiration, and a reminder of the incredible purpose God has for each of us. Don't miss out on this uplifting conversation—watch now and be inspired! ❤️

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📚 Books Mentioned:

• Redefined by Arden Bevere
• Break Up with What Broke You | Christian Bevere's upcoming book 

💻 Connect with Arden and Christian Bevere:

• YouTube 
• Podcast

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📍Don't miss this opportunity to join the conversation and be part of the dialogue. Share your thoughts, insights, and questions by emailing us at podcast@kingdomempowered.com.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Taylor: Arden Christian, thank you for being here. If you guys would honestly, I don't know, maybe a minute, two minutes, right? Introduce yourself. Tell us who you are. I know you guys a little bit. I know Corey and Matt don't have a relationship with you yet, and some of the people listening might not. So let us know who you are.
[00:00:17] Arden: Yeah. Well, we're Arden and Christian Bevere. We've been married now for five years. We're coming up on five years. I'm skipping ahead a little bit. And we have a one-year-old, which I'm skipping ahead on as well because he is actually 11 months old. He's 10 months old. 10 months old. Nailed it. But we together, we were part of a ministry called Sons and Daughters and I'm the youngest child of John and Lisa.
[00:00:39] Arden: So we've been doing ministry together ever since we got married about five years ago and have a big heart for young adult generation. And then myself have written one specific book for called redefined for This Generation. And then we collaborated on two other books. And then Christian has her own.
[00:00:56] Arden: Book coming out later this year. Yeah. Let's go [00:01:00] little 
[00:01:00] Christian: advice on their husbands or future husbands when doing the age up or the year add up thing. Don't do that to your wife's age. It won't end end well for you. 
[00:01:08] Cory: That's a good one. You go back. That is a good 
[00:01:09] Christian: tip. Yeah. Like, you're 20, you're 25, right.
[00:01:14] Taylor: Christian, what about you? Tell us about you. 
[00:01:16] Christian: Oh, I feel like I just got presented really well. I love getting to be Arden's wife, but Arden's wife as he's mama. But I'm Christian. I have a high pitched voice because I'm, I'm a female. If you're listening to this, I know the na name. Sounds like I'd be a guy, but I'm really just passionate about reaching women and reminding them of their worth, reminding them that they are not who they were in the past and kind of speaking redemption from a place of receiving it myself.
[00:01:43] Christian: So that's my mo 
[00:01:46] Arden: that's our elevator pitch for us. 
[00:01:47] Cory: How did, how did you guys, how did you guys meet? Yeah, 
[00:01:50] Arden: you got that one? Yeah. Yeah. See, I say we met through an in mutual friend, but that mutual friend was actually Instagram, and so I slid into her dm which [00:02:00] actually was a lie. The first thing I've ever wrote to my wife was a lie.
[00:02:04] Arden: And she had posted a picture and I was trying to think of something that I could respond back to that picture. And it was a beautiful sunset, and I was like, well, it's too bad. It was, it's snowing here in Colorado and definitely not snowing at all in Colorado. I was just trying to find a way to send her any kind of message.
[00:02:21] Arden: And so we we met about two weeks later in person, had coffee and dated for only three months, and then were engaged four months later.
[00:02:31] Arden: we dated for three months and then we were married four months later. That's what it's, 
[00:02:34] Christian: but you were such a gentleman too, which I love telling that story cuz it sounds so loose and just fast. But it was a very sweet way of getting to know you and you just knowing exactly what you wanted what you were intentional very much with the pursuit.
[00:02:48] Christian: And so now when we share around dating, specifically on our podcast, we talk a little bit about, you know, the, the principles that you held and the way that we need to hold those in our friendships and our [00:03:00] relationships and our family. So just throwing it out there, it sounds like when you slid in the dms, like who were these people 
[00:03:05] Arden: were bringing on the podcast?
[00:03:06] Arden: Well, I feel like now nowadays, like Instagram is a normal thing for meeting people. Yeah. I feel like more the extreme, I don't know even know what those dating apps, it's like tin. I mean Snapchat, so you know, a pretty solid one. Do people still snap? I think people still, some people 
[00:03:21] Cory: do. There's a very select few, but they, they do.
[00:03:24] Taylor: I don't know anything about it because I met my wife and I went to high school together and then we got married coming outta college. And so all these new apps and all these new things, I know, I know nothing. 
[00:03:36] Cory: Yeah. I feel fortunate that I missed that, that whole thing. I like growing up in the generation where you still had to like approach somebody physically and just like you were looking for like a thing that they would do in a place that like, this could be my in, it would, I mean, it's your, it's your sunset, I think.
[00:03:52] Cory: But we had to do that on person. Like it was really challenging. 
[00:03:56] Arden: It's my sunset. I, I'll take that. 
[00:03:59] Cory: Yeah. Appreciate [00:04:00] it works. So, you know, Arden, you, come from like a, a pretty well known family, obviously like in, in the Christian Circle. But Christian, like what, what was your upbringing like?
[00:04:12] Cory: who were you before you became, you know, Arden's wife and Ozzy's mother? 
[00:04:18] Christian: As he, we get Ezra, we get Azaria, you know, it's all over the place. My upgrade bringing was very different than Arden's. You know, I had two incredible parents that raised me around church, but they separated pretty early on.
[00:04:34] Christian: Mm-hmm. John and Lee's sister, my husband's parents have been married for, what is it, 40 years? 40 years now. 
[00:04:39] Arden: Coming up from 40 years. Yeah. So, or the past 40 years. Yeah. So very 
[00:04:42] Christian: different upbringings, but I grew up in Southern Alabama, Bible belt, so I was always around the church and very thankful for my family.
[00:04:50] Christian: But to be frank, and I guess jumping right into it, marriage has been interesting cuz I remember being engaged to Arten and so excited. You know, really living [00:05:00] in and walking in the promises that I felt God gave me specifically around you will marry a Christian man, he will be a faithful leader, but then being engaged and thinking, oh, I don't know how to be married.
[00:05:11] Christian: Am I gonna mess this up? And it's been a fun journey too. Get to figure that out and, and trust Arden. Trust myself and trust God el us. Yeah. Over the last almost five years. 
[00:05:22] Arden: Yeah. And we did our entire dating and engagement period. Long distance. Yeah. So our longest time period that we had spent together was our honeymoon.
[00:05:30] Arden: So that was like two weeks. And before that, we had never spent even over a week I think it was together. Yes. And so there was kind of a, you know, thrown into the fire realization of, whoa, I didn't know you were into this. I didn't know, like, these are things Right. That we were learning once we got married.
[00:05:47] Arden: So it was a, you know, it was a great story. What was the 
[00:05:49] Taylor: biggest thing? So like, I remember when my wife and I got married, I got really annoyed that after she brushed her teeth, she would like wipe[00:06:00] her mouth with the, hand towel and like get toothpaste on it. And her biggest thing about me was that I would leave my wet towels on the ground.
[00:06:09] Taylor: Oh, so like I know, right? I'm an animal. Oh, what, what was, what were like the biggest things for you, Arden? What was the biggest thing for you, Christian? 
[00:06:20] Arden: See, I mean, I'm gonna go with actually toothpaste as well, because that's like the one thing that was really weird to me. Oh, is Christian's very, very particular organized with everything around the house, but toothpaste, she squeezes it like just as like it's just her hand and squeeze it.
[00:06:37] Arden: Where I like to just kind of bring it up from the bottom, make sure I'm getting everything. And so we share it toothpaste and every single night I still, I mean just recorrect it, get toothpaste, all the order eyes and that, you know, everywhere else. I mean, you can see the background in our house a little bit.
[00:06:54] Arden: It's nice to organized. That's how the rest of our house looks. But, Our toothpaste is not, toothpaste is not good [00:07:00] shape. 
[00:07:01] Christian: You know, if that's my caveat, I'll take it right. If that's my toxic trait. Toothpaste. 
[00:07:06] Arden: Yeah. I was gonna say, you might have to pick a few. 
[00:07:09] Christian: He asked what, what, what was it in the beginning?
[00:07:12] Taylor: The beginning was the biggest thing you guys longest period of time together was the honeymoon. What was it? Do it. I love you. Yeah. 
[00:07:21] Arden: Good job. Good job. 
[00:07:23] Christian: Realizing that my husband was frugal in a very protective way, and I think honestly in a way that stewarded us to in our finances. But like the very first thing we did after we get well, Not the very first thing we did.
[00:07:37] Christian: One of the first things we did once we got back home and setting up our house was, you know, of course I ran to the store. We got pots and pans, plates, things like this. And I think it added up to $300 for all the stuff we had Granted, he was moving out of his parents' home. I was moving cross country. So we really didn't have a lot.
[00:07:55] Christian: And then I come home and he looks at it and he's like, $300. Like, dude, [00:08:00] we cannot spend like this. You gotta go 
[00:08:02] Arden: return it. No, I went through the entire, 
[00:08:04] Christian: no, no. And then I said, look at the receipt and anything you think we don't necessarily need for a home, you can return. And then, so we just separated. I feel like it was an hour, and he's like, okay, fine.
[00:08:16] Christian: I guess we need all this stuff. But it felt like a defeat. 
[00:08:19] Taylor: It 
[00:08:19] Cory: was, it was. that's such an interesting thing though, because it's like, I think sometimes culture paints a picture of that. We're supposed to be used to like living with somebody of like the opposite sex or your spouse long before you're married.
[00:08:32] Cory: But I, I share a very similar story. My wife is from the Nashville area, but like our longest time together was just a weekend trip where I would go down to see her or she would come up and then all of a sudden we're married and she moves to Pittsburgh and it's like we have to deal with like actually living together.
[00:08:49] Cory: Mm-hmm. And, and Christian, you brought up something you said like that you were you had this moment kind of like you, you believed for, you had faith, you prayed for a god, godly man to come into your life, and now you have it. And then you said like, oh, [00:09:00] like I don't wanna mess up this thing, this promise that God's given you.
[00:09:04] Cory: Like in your thought process, like what were some of the things that like you felt insecure about or that would be like, Going into your marriages with being like, oh, if I do this, it'll mess it up. 
[00:09:14] Christian: Yeah. I, a lot of my processing was through a lens of shame. So I think there were some very real challenges and just nuances of who I was as a person, that I wanted to bring my best, but I also just had this lens and this voice in the back of my head of, well, you're gonna mess it up, or You've never been lovable before.
[00:09:32] Christian: Who's to say someone's gonna love you the rest of your life? And of course you're gonna mess this up. Of course you're gonna do this, of course you're gonna do that. So it really, I think, was breaking a cycle of shame in my own life, so I could even fully receive and live up to what God was calling me to be as a wife.
[00:09:49] Christian: Mm-hmm. I had to first believe that if he had brought me to it, he would sustain that within me. He would teach me and heal me just to even be open to it. But shame is such a [00:10:00] debilitation and a sneaky tactic because it, it isolates you and your head and your fear. You don't know what's actually true and what's not.
[00:10:07] Christian: And that's why part of the book that's coming out is, is on that very topic because it's something we don't even fully understand nonetheless. Talk about. 
[00:10:17] Arden: What I even remember early on in our marriage is I kind of looked at her cuz I realized there was things that she was not sharing with me because she was worried I was gonna leave.
[00:10:26] Arden: And I kind of looked at her and said, you know, hey, you've gotta realize I'm not going anywhere. Yeah. You know, you can share these things with me eventually, and I I'm not gonna push you to them. But I, I need you to understand that I'm not gonna leave you in this situation. I'm not gonna, you know, run out as soon as something gets hard.
[00:10:44] Arden: And even, even when we first got married, when we had our, like our first real big fight, I remember that was for me growing up in a family that we were used to fighting and arguing and just working through that. It was a kind of a moment of shutdown and worry [00:11:00] that I saw happen with my wife where I kind of bounced right back and I was like, yeah, it was a great conversation.
[00:11:05] Arden: We worked through it. It's okay. We're good. And to her it was, yeah, like just fear and fear that, and ended up, we just cripple our relationship. And so there was a process that God took us through I felt like to, to, for one, unlocking my wife's heart in that, but then also two, just healing from. The things that had had happened in her past and that she had kind of realized, 
[00:11:29] Cory: have you found Arden, like as you, like now five years into it do you find yourself responding differently now having more context?
[00:11:37] Cory: Because like, right, because like, yeah, you used to, like, we would have, we've talked about this I grew up in a house that was always like, kind of like, this is the situation, this is a conflict or whatever. And then it's like, but you're more than a conqueror and you just kind of throw scripture at it.
[00:11:49] Cory: So I would like, very quickly, my wife would ha experience an emotion that could be negative or fearful or doubtful. And like, I would immediately come with like this kind of [00:12:00] like scriptural encouragement that in my head I think I'm doing the right thing, but really I've like needed to allow some space for that to breathe.
[00:12:10] Cory: So like what, how, how do you respond I guess now? Compared to like, yeah. A year into your marriage. Like 
[00:12:16] Arden: what have you learned? Yeah, I, I mean obviously, and I think this is of course a huge one for any husband, but listening is huge. I mean, I think my dad's response, we have three older brothers, and so his response to anything was always very much that same response is like, you got this, you, you know, you're more than a conqueror.
[00:12:33] Arden: You know, you're fearfully and wonderfully made. The Bible says this, and it was very much like that was what worked for us boys. We were excited by that. We were motivated by it. But you're right is I tried to fix a lot of those things within our earlier conversations, rather than really listening and seeking to understand.
[00:12:50] Arden: And I'm so blessed that my wife is so, so quick to, I mean, honestly, like to grow and to adapt and to honestly let go [00:13:00] of the things that she did hold onto. Cuz I realized getting into our marriage, I kind of as continued to probe and, and, and discover more things. I was like, How are you doing so well? Like your life, you, you, the way your mental capacity, like the way you've handled situations.
[00:13:17] Arden: I'm like, you are, have really grown in such a supernatural way where a lot of people would allow this just to be something that they continue to go back to and be the crutch. That they say, you know what? I was raised in this kind of manner or had this situation happen to me and just continued to go back to that.
[00:13:34] Arden: But I've watched as my wife just use every opportunity just to grow and, and to learn, but then also to really challenge me in our marriage of, you know, understanding of course emotions, which I, I, I don't take to emotions as well. But it's been a growing challenge and still of course, obviously after five years we're still learning and growing within that.
[00:13:54] Arden: But I feel like patience has, has played a huge key within that end. And God has really blessed our [00:14:00] marriage within those things so that we, we do fight, but we always understand that, you know, we're not fighting each other within these situations. We're fighting whatever's getting in the middle of us.
[00:14:09] Arden: Mm-hmm. Right. 
[00:14:11] Christian: And one thing I wish more husbands would understand is you are the head of the home and the head I see is almost like being a roof to the shelter that you've established and like being a shelter is being emotional stability. It is being a safe place for your wife, especially if she does come from something.
[00:14:28] Christian: Dealing with shame is the ability to go to you and process. And almost just, even the, the un mingling of what's undone inside of her isn't always something like you're saying Corey, that you just have to say, well, you are this, she might know that, but she needs to know that you are a safe place to Yeah.
[00:14:44] Christian: Journey with. 
[00:14:45] Cory: Yeah. Yeah. It's like all those things can be true and still not be what is needed in the moment. Too. It's like it's not denying that you're not more than a conqueror and that you were feel fearfully and wonderfully made, but it's also just allowing a space [00:15:00] for like the recognition of, or the ability to process a feeling of past trauma and to sit.
[00:15:07] Cory: And not always, like, I think men, we just want to be the fixers all the time. Like it feels so good to solve a problem because then we can move on to the next thing. But there will always be a next thing and a next thing. And sitting in tension, which I really feel like that's sometimes, like that's where God is like, that's uncomfortable because it's not always the quick fix for everything.
[00:15:32] Cory: So I think, yeah, it's just learning to be okay in tension with my partner and my spouse. Yeah, there's 
[00:15:39] Christian: a CS quote and I'll butcher it, but it's something about pain is the instrument that God uses to arouse a death world. And I feel like that's so true and accurate to what you're saying. 
[00:15:50] Arden: Yeah, 
[00:15:52] Taylor: I love this.
[00:15:52] Taylor: So I think it's, wild because I don't know, we're a couple of minutes in, 15 minutes in maybe and already I feel [00:16:00] like we've covered 1400 different topics, but it's all flowed so well, like it's all been extremely natural. Right. And cover gone over Shame and talking about your marriage and, and you know, Arden, you've written a book called Redefine where you talk about identity, right?
[00:16:16] Taylor: Arden has a book coming out called Breakup With What Broke You? Right. Breakup with what? Christian has a book coming out. Christian? Yeah. Christian has a book. I was about, say 
[00:16:24] Christian: Arden, you wrote a book. I didn't know about this one. 
[00:16:27] Taylor: Christian has a book coming out and honestly we would love to have you back on in a month or two.
[00:16:32] Taylor: Just you and let's talk about the book. Let's do it. Talking about a lot of shame, things like that, that you're already talking about. And you guys have, have co-authored work together on some other books called I Am Through Sons and Daughters, but you guys have a podcast, you guys have a YouTube channel.
[00:16:47] Taylor: You guys are doing a million different things. What I really want to ask is, we've been brought in talking about all these different things, but what has God really been speaking to you [00:17:00] guys about right now? It could be any of those things we've already kind of gone over covered, right? But I wanna do like a, like a deep dive into what is God speaking to you guys about?
[00:17:10] Taylor: What is God working on you with? what's God working on with you, with? That's 
[00:17:13] Arden: what I want to know. I'm gonna get it to you first. 
[00:17:17] Christian: Thank you all. Love. Yeah. Gosh, what I think, I mean, what he's working on for us it's hard. Like you said, there are a lot of things in the fold and a lot of things in motion right now, but we're in this interesting era of our first child that child's now becoming one.
[00:17:37] Christian: We're, we've made it out of the newborn season and you know, the. Tired bags and our eyes are fading. So I feel like we're rediscovering who we are as a couple as parents. And so it's been a lot of stretching. I hear a question 
[00:17:51] Arden: coming on on that. Oh, I was just, 
[00:17:53] Cory: yeah, I think we've all come, we're coming in.
[00:17:56] Cory: We been through or in that season too, so it's like, oh yeah, [00:18:00] let's talk about that. 
[00:18:01] Christian: Yeah. We're moving outta trench warfare into a new way of finding our battles. But I mean, personally for me, it's been recalibrating who I am. I think motherhood has given me a great allowance to no longer hold on. Like I was previously very passive aggressive or tended to be a people pleaser or just really consumed by things around me.
[00:18:23] Christian: And I've watched as we've navigated even external conflicts together, how we are just so much quicker to be synchronized and like. Assess what's coming into our marriage, what can, what's important to no doubt, and what needs to fall out the wayside cuz it's just not worth our time and our energy. I found myself more of like, okay, this is who God made me to be and I'm gonna trust in that.
[00:18:45] Christian: And if someone doesn't understand that, like I used to get Ben outta shape and have to go and try to prove it, and I'm like, well that's not even me either. Like I need to just be fully aware of who I am and the closer and stronger I can get back to that. Like, the resiliency [00:19:00] of who he's created me to be, who he's created us to be as a couple.
[00:19:04] Christian: I know that's probably a little different than you thought I might say, but I feel like that's been true, especially the last three 
[00:19:09] Arden: months. Yeah, no, and I think let's, 
[00:19:11] Taylor: let's dig into that and then we'll go into, cause there you go. It's got something else. But one of the things you said Christian, was that you guys are so much faster to synchronize as a couple, as you're going through conflicts, is you're going through different things, right?
[00:19:25] Taylor: What does that mean? How, what does that mean if synchronizing as a couple. Working through things, what does that mean? 
[00:19:32] Christian: Yeah. I mean, I remember the tension in that first year of marriage, of figuring out how to fight well together, understanding who it is that you signed up to marry, and you got no back outs now, so you're stuck with 'em in the best way.
[00:19:46] Christian: And there's just some growing pains that I think naturally happened for every couple. But for us over the last few years, we've, we've realized what's important to each other. And I think honestly, the beauty of being able to sharpen one another the iron sharpening iron is [00:20:00] we have chiseled down to the best parts of ourselves.
[00:20:03] Christian: We have been eager to grow. So now it's like I know who I'm, I'm, I'm fighting with, like with, as a partner, I know who I'm doing life with. And when he's doing something outta character, I can say, Hey, no, that's not who you are. This is who you're called to be and I'm gonna always keep challenging you to be that and vice versa.
[00:20:21] Christian: And so, honestly, we, we went through something and I. For privacy. I won't divulge it all here, but something where I just felt very misunderstood and attacked and just really was questioning a lot of the growth I've taken over the last five years. And I remember thinking like, God, I don't wanna be seen as this person because I don't wanna be this person.
[00:20:42] Christian: Like I wanna be someone that's loving and, and caring and and creative for you and not for myself. And and I didn't for the first time want validation outside of it, but Arden just came alongside me in such a way where I didn't have to even explain what I was feeling. I didn't have to kind of make him believe.
[00:20:59] Christian: He just said, I [00:21:00] know who you are. I see the best in you. I know that you were this person. And almost like going on my behalf. And it's, I say fighting a lot. I promise we're nice people, we get along, but he just stood up in a way for me that felt very. In tandem to how I would wanna represent myself.
[00:21:17] Christian: And something about knowing that you are gaining traction with your person in a way that feels in tandem. Even if it feels like I wasn't in that conversation or I wasn't in that place. But we have become one in a sense where we have each other's backs. 
[00:21:33] Cory: Yeah. I think there's something too about like, you've used the word fighting a little bit, but I think there's like two parts.
[00:21:39] Cory: But it's like, it's like there's parts like we, people say like, like, we gotta fight. Well, like fighting with somebody. But then there's the other side. It's like you could still use the same verb, like it's fighting, but like you're fighting for something. And I think you brought up too of like saying like, and my wife and I, we have like certain like non-negotiables, we have things like, we do not do these things to one another whatever.
[00:21:59] Cory: And like [00:22:00] everybody has their own like triggering words. For me growing up, my dad. Love him, but would call me like a punk if I was doing something. And so like the word punk is really triggering. Turns out Abby Grace grew up with two little brothers. She called them punks all the time, like outta love. And so randomly in our first year of marriage, when I, she calls me a punk and like I went to like a negative place, she had no idea because we never spent that much time together.
[00:22:26] Cory: But like having to actually then have the conversation and saying like, Hey, like your heart wasn't for this. We're gonna, like, it did elicit this response from me emotionally that was not healthy. And like I didn't need to respond the way I did to that. But like x y so we, we established these ground rules.
[00:22:40] Cory: And then once those are established, I think sometimes when we have a circumstance that's outside of our control, like most circumstances are and then we say, Hey, like, we've agreed that we're like fighting for this. And like these are the kind of the rules that we have. So it's not like, We're necessarily trying to come at each other.
[00:22:57] Cory: I'm not fighting with her as much. I'm saying like, Hey, [00:23:00] we're fighting for the thing that we believe that we have, and whenever I can like I guess address something, or she addresses it with me, more often than not, it's in the effect. It's like, Hey, like we are called to be above this thing, so I'm not, I'm not like fighting with you and Claud.
[00:23:14] Cory: I'm saying like, we're fight. I'm fighting for you and with us together to be better and what we've mutually agreed about. And like when we have that common ground, then all of a sudden I'm like, I don't see my wife attacking me. I just see her challenging me. Which, and there's a lot of times like, I need that.
[00:23:30] Arden: Yeah. We, we talk about it on the messenger international team. The understanding we fight for fierce unity. And I think that's a really kind of an interesting statement that we all uphold and we go through because we, we had no situations in the past where we saw as disunity spread amongst the team on, on different things of just conversations that were happening and stuff like that.
[00:23:51] Arden: And we watched this just unmade team members. And so once when we finally got to address it and realized, you know, God, God says it's one of the things that hate, that he hates, it's [00:24:00] sowing discord amongst brother. And, and so we, we came up with this statement and we have, you know, all of our team understand this, is that we fight for fierce unity.
[00:24:07] Arden: And I think fighting for fierce unity is not just a keep unity. And I think keeping unity, you're like, okay, well I don't get mad. You know, I don't disagree with anyone. I don't, you know, take a different stance. But fighting for Spanish, unity comes with fighting for understanding. And I think that's within marriage is, is it goes even deeper than just fighting for Unity.
[00:24:24] Arden: Even once that it's fighting for understanding, it's understanding that, you know, hey, something can trigger you from, from just a statement or, or, Hey, this is how I was feeling in this situation and I saw for our marriage is, is for me coming from a family that is so connected and was, you know, well it is still so connected for so many years.
[00:24:42] Arden: It always felt like for the first couple of years of our marriage, that was me and my family, and then Christian was fitting into that rather than, it was more of, we created our own new family and this is the family I fight for and this is the, the one that like, you [00:25:00] know, takes priority over my parents asking for something because, you know, I was their, their assistant for a while.
[00:25:06] Arden: And so coming into that understanding as a, a couple and understanding within a marriage, I, I think is one of the key things because we're not always gonna get it correct, but if you can seek and fight for that understanding within that, you're going to, to see the best out, out of the situations.
[00:25:22] Arden: You're gonna believe the best in the situation, and you're not going to begin to imply or, or, or believe, you know, things are, are being translated that are not actually, you know, the heart behind. It's not actually the way that you're seeing it. 
[00:25:35] Cory: Yeah. 
[00:25:36] Taylor: what's different about you guys? And here's what I mean by that.
[00:25:41] Taylor: There are a lot of couples that my wife and I talked to who have been married for a year, two years, five years. You know, we've been married for 10 years this year, and congratulations. People come to us and ask us questions and different things, and I wish that I could just be like, I, in the future, I'm just gonna be like, go listen to the [00:26:00] podcast episode with Art and Christian, because this is what, this is how you need to, need to fight.
[00:26:04] Taylor: This is how you need to, to look at each other, right. And past, like, oh, this is how I grew up. Or This is who my parents are, or whatever that may be. Like, what things are instilled in you guys? What things do you know, without a doubt have complete and utter faith in that lead you to be who you are and lead you to put this work into your relationship, put this work into yourselves as individuals that have gotten you through the first five years and will get you through the next 45 years?
[00:26:36] Arden: Yeah. I mean, yeah. I, I think, I think the key thing between the two of us is that we're very too committed People like we, we deep dive into relationships. I'll say like, I still keep it. Yeah, no, no. But like when we have a friendship, we're very, very, I don't wanna say strategic, but we're just very thoughtful within that relationship of understanding, like, these are people that [00:27:00] we want to go deeper with and we are going to fight for that person.
[00:27:03] Arden: And I've seen that in our marriage throughout the beginning of it, is that we just have taken that stance of no matter what it is that comes up, like we're going to work through it. I remember one time, and it probably wasn't the best situation, but early on in our marriage, we were going to bed and I remember Christian was like, we're, I'm not, I'm not having this conversation anymore.
[00:27:23] Arden: And she kind of got in bed and I just grabbed all the comforters and I pulled him off and I was like, we're not, we're not gonna allow this just to sit him amongst us. We're going to continue to figure out like, what is the root, what's like, what do we need to address and have that conversation.
[00:27:38] Arden: Definitely was not the best way of handling it in that moment. But I've watched as God has protected us and graced us within our marriage that you know, you're not doing things perfect but you're doing them well. And as you do them well, God is going to work within the imperfections and your relationship as long as you guys have a heart that is underneath the covenant of one we're serving and [00:28:00] seeking and chasing after God.
[00:28:01] Arden: But then two, we're also search, searching and seeking and chasing after each other. And I think that's been a big key within our, our relationship cuz it really has felt like no matter what argument we have, no matter what thing has come up, it's not a end point. It's not a, oh man, how are we gonna get around this?
[00:28:18] Arden: It's okay, here's a new challenge and, and this is kind of how we're gonna have to, we're just gonna have to try to keep figuring out how to navigate it and work through it. 
[00:28:27] Cory: The scripture just goes right in my head of like, don't let the sun go down on your wrath. I would be right on, on board with you art and be like, Nope, we're having this conversation right now.
[00:28:34] Cory: We're not going to bed. 
[00:28:36] Arden: Doesn't, and the argument should be the sun was already down, you know,
[00:28:43] Cory: hours. Yeah. But I, I also learned too that sometimes I think with Abby Grace, I, we get to the spot where it's, for me, and this might be like an insecurity that I've dealt with, like as, as a man or my past. But I just want, for me, I think [00:29:00] I wanna always have the conversation so immediately because I want to reach a resolution so that I know we'll be good tomorrow.
[00:29:06] Cory: And what I needed and what we've kind of grown to is the fact is like where Abby will now sometimes be like, Hey, like, I'm not in the position to have the healthiest form of this conversation with you right now. We can try again tomorrow. And it's that same thing I think that you kind of referenced earlier of like needing to learn and have faith and trust in a relationship that there is no one thing that could be done that says like, we're the door is closed.
[00:29:32] Cory: So just her, I guess like allowing the permission, like saying like, Corey, like, I can't talk to you about this right now, but I promise you babe, like we, we can try again tomorrow. And so it's not getting swept under the rug. Cause I, it's not getting pushed off, it's just saying like, now's not the time but we'll I'll be here in the morning.
[00:29:52] Cory: I'm not going anywhere and we can kind of talk more. Which was like really comforting for me cuz like, I was just like, if it doesn't get solved now, [00:30:00] who knows what's going in the closet and skeletons will come out later. But having to learn that it's like now is not always the right time. But that's hard.
[00:30:09] Cory: I think it's like, Yeah. Cause I need, I 
[00:30:12] Arden: need, especially if a guy who wants to fix it. Yeah, dude, I just fix it. Need it fix. Yeah. 
[00:30:16] Taylor: Well, 
[00:30:17] Christian: and I think one thing we learned too is I am a very deep processor. So if I felt like I told Arden this in our first year too. He articulates what he wants to say very fast and can come across really strong.
[00:30:29] Christian: I mean, he's six three. I'm five five. He's already got that advantage over me where I'm like, I'm powerless. But I would have to tell him, Hey, I, I hear your point, I hear what you're saying. I am processing through the layers I brought to the table and the ones I now have, like sometimes I do need time to sort through that or you've just, you've not steamrolled me, but I almost feel that way emotionally.
[00:30:54] Christian: Yeah. And understanding like you're saying, what works for you as a couple and not where. You can't just walk off and be like, well, I'm not [00:31:00] doing this anymore, but having a cadence and rhythm to your understanding, that has an allowance for your personalities. 
[00:31:07] Taylor: Brooke and I will have when we have arguments, we have fights.
[00:31:11] Taylor: We're the same way of where I just go. I just talk and like it, it comes out and it makes sense. Right. Brooke wants to, sometimes it makes 
[00:31:18] Cory: sense. Ok, fair 
[00:31:19] Taylor: enough. Fair enough. Brooke wants to, wants to think about it and she wants to process it and she wants to go through it. Right. And so a lot of times what has been amazing for us is coming out of like these fights or arguments, we end up communicating via email.
[00:31:33] Taylor: Like we'll be together, but we'll write to each other. And that way it allows Brooke to go through and process and think about what she's writing, think about what she wants to say, and be able to get it out. And then I just respond to her because that's like easier for her in that moment to then process what I'm saying and read through what I'm saying.
[00:31:52] Taylor: And it's just like another. Layer to it of like, oh, we can be creative and weird with [00:32:00] how we go through these things and how we talk about things. And I 
[00:32:02] Arden: love that cuz it just shows like it. No two couples the same within the situation. It's just the intent of no matter what it is that we've gotta do, we're gonna figure it out.
[00:32:11] Arden: Yeah. If it's writing an email to each other, if it's allowing the time to take place, if it's staying up, I don't, I don't recommend that. I'm just gonna be honest with you. I do not recommend that method. It worked that one time. I don't think it's ever worked again. But there is the intent behind it of just understanding I'm gonna.
[00:32:27] Arden: I'm gonna be dedicated to this process. Like, and that's what I meant in the beginning of, we're two very dedicated people to the people that we love. And I mean, I look at my friendships. I have, I still have my childhood best friend since I was four years old, that I still make sure I keep in contact with because I see like to myself that I'm like, I'm dedicated to him.
[00:32:47] Arden: I don't care if he's gonna respond back to me. I don't care if he's walked away from price. I'm dedicated to him and I'm gonna continue to make sure he's in my life because that's how I've seen relationships. I watched this, you know, Jesus so beautifully [00:33:00] modeled friendship and relationships. And I think oftentimes we don't look at how he modeled those things.
[00:33:05] Arden: We see it as very much as we Yeah. Focus in on, you know, marriage or. dating relationship, but he was very dedicated to the people that he had around him. And I think that translates so well, and that's why a lot of people, I mean, we, we skipped the friendship stage within dating. We went straight into dating, but a lot of people, Like being a better friend to someone and understanding that dedication process translated into marriage really allows it to go long you know, to endure.
[00:33:33] Arden: And I think in this day and age where it just feels like you're, you're entering into marriage as more under a contract rather than a covenant with this understanding of, you know, Hey, I'm coming into this and you do this, this, and this, and I'm gonna be able to walk away. Whereas a covenant is all coming into the understanding of, of a, of a yes and understanding of it doesn't matter what happens within this, we're making this covenant unto God, which means it's a, a very real and [00:34:00] serious thing that that is bonding us for life and that we're going to work through those things.
[00:34:05] Arden: It's the same thing in our relationship with Christ. Like if you're going into your relationship with Christ saying, you know, these are all the things I can't do now because I'm entering into right. My, my relationship with Christ. I'm giving myself to, to you know Christ, then. It's a, you're seeing it as a bonding and a constricting thing rather than what it actually is.
[00:34:24] Arden: You know, John 10 10, I come. So you may have life and have life to the fullest. That realization that God has so much waiting for you, so much waiting for you, and that you have to say yes to. And so as you have that imagery of the bride groom and, and the, and the bride, you get to see that play out within your marriage and you get to be dedicated to that process and not fleeting as so many of this time.
[00:34:48] Arden: Period. Are, 
[00:34:50] Taylor: let's throw the wild card in there. So you just said that you skipped the friendship stage, right? And you guys, I mean, you said you dated for three months, you got married, then [00:35:00] four months later, you've been married for five years, and then 10 months ago we throw a little man in there.
[00:35:06] Taylor: Mm-hmm. We throw the kiddo in there. Right. So we talk about all this of you guys being, I mean, not just you guys, but. Going through being married and being in a relationship and being a husband and being a wife. And then you throw a child into there, which is a beautiful, incredible, amazing thing.
[00:35:26] Taylor: But also sometimes can be a little bit of a headache, just like a little bit like a minor one. Right. But how has that changed your relationship or made it better or made it harder? What are you working through? I don't know. How, how is that thrown into your marriage? 
[00:35:44] Christian: Well, we're in the teething realm right 
[00:35:46] Arden: now, so God bless you.
[00:35:47] Arden: We're also, and we're also with just one kid, so I mean, we're still learning and growing You guys, I know you guys all have more multiple kids, so it's a, it's a growing process for us. Right now, 
[00:35:58] Cory: I only have one [00:36:00] on the earth now. I have a two year old and then, One coming on the way. You got 
[00:36:05] Arden: the boys, 
[00:36:07] Cory: so, hey, I'm going into the eye of the storm here coming up.
[00:36:10] Cory: Yeah. Love it. 
[00:36:13] Christian: But when you have more than one, they can watch each other and entertain each other. So, you know, 
[00:36:17] Taylor: listen, give and take. Here's what I'm gonna tell you. Here's what I'm gonna tell you. that's a great belief to have and everyone should believe in that and everyone should pray for that.
[00:36:26] Taylor: And everyone should have faith in that. Here's the thing is that when you have two kids, what realistically happens is they really just, we have two boys, so it is a little bit different, but they just beat each other up, which I love, right? You read Wild at Heart. Like you, you read all these books, like they have lots of fun.
[00:36:45] Taylor: They push each other, they, they do each other, but it's it's this thing of where they do entertain each other. Until one of them hurts the other one, and then they won't be daddy. But it works. But no, for you guys with one kid, what's [00:37:00] it been 
[00:37:00] Arden: like? I mean, I want you to speak more to it, but I'll give one instance.
[00:37:04] Arden: Like I, I go back to, we had a really big conversation or I think it was like when Azzie was probably about two months old. But that, that was kind of a pivotal conversation that I was really glad that we were able to have. But I remember. One period in time that I feel like this goes back to just seeking understanding within those moments is I remember, you know, you're, you're not getting a lot of sleep.
[00:37:26] Arden: You're, you're frustrated, you're waking up late at night. You know, Christian told me multiple times how she just wants to punch me as I'm sleeping there kind of thing. You know, it's like you don't know what to do in those circumstances. But I love how like, through that process is that we definitely had a lot of, you know, not great moments, but we also understood each other and worked through those.
[00:37:47] Arden: And I remember one time is I was at a point where I was just, it was breaking point and I very much was like, I, don't like myself right now. I, this baby won't stop crying. Cause our son had hit something that's wrong [00:38:00] with iest stomach and so he was just crying, feeding or sleeping and that was it.
[00:38:04] Arden: And it was just, it was a breaking point for me. And I remember I just looked at Christian and I just said, I need to go, like I have to leave. And I was so happy that in that moment my wife didn't look at me and say, you have a two month old right here. I have been up with him. You're you're not going anywhere?
[00:38:23] Arden: No. She looked at me and she just grabbed our son out of my hands and just said, go, like, go do whatever you need to do. And I remember I just kind of went outside and went for a walk and was just able to kind of recoup. And in that moment I was so thankful for my wife just having the understanding for the situation that was at hand.
[00:38:43] Arden: And we both had, you know, situations, I'll say me more than, more than her, where we just had to be like, I have to go. Get away. I have to do something. And, and I think through that process of having a child now and you know, all the unknowns that comes with it and all, you know, the new [00:39:00] challenges of teething and, you know, one night he sleeps great the next night, he doesn't like just having, yeah.
[00:39:05] Arden: Having a great understanding of one, you know, good routine and then two. Mm-hmm. Just understanding if the other person needs to, to, to take a second and, and recoup, 
[00:39:17] Christian: you know, the verse that comes to mind is where it talks about, and God made them male and female. Mm-hmm. He made them. And understanding the distinguishing factors that happens when you bring not only a couple, but a mother and a father to a situation and the necessity of both.
[00:39:34] Christian: Like there are things that only I can give Asie in this season, but then I know there's things that only Arten can give him. Yeah. Going forward and the, the power that that brings in raising someone. In the image of God, it takes that unification. So fighting for the understanding fighting for knowing, like, we're working for our marriage, we're working to raise this, this little boy who's gonna become a young man.
[00:39:57] Christian: Mm-hmm. And it, it is a, [00:40:00] a stretching, but also a beautiful example of purpose. 
[00:40:05] Cory: Yeah. There's a good, there's like a healthy sense of perspective too. I think for our, our little girl Ruby, for that, it felt like forever at the time, but like, when, when they're newborn, like the only val, I was like looking at it and I, I was feeling like, kind of a certain way about myself because I only saw like the only value I had for Ruby.
[00:40:25] Cory: Cuz like, she gets, she's sleeping, she's feeding from her mother is like really just changing her, like cleaning her diaper. And I never changed a diaper before in my life. But like I took such ownership of that ability and then I also, but I felt like. There will be a time, like I would be aware of the fact like at some point it's gonna change and like she will be daddy's little girl.
[00:40:47] Cory: And what will that experience then be like? My wife will have to transition. Mm-hmm. Because she is all of life to the baby at a certain time. It's like the ebb and flow of being able to kind of have grace and then [00:41:00] surrender some of that relationship to somebody else and going back forth. I just think it's like, I don't know.
[00:41:05] Cory: It's, it didn't meet all of my expectations, I think, initially, but then you just found the way that like, I could connect most and then I just like hopeful for the fact of like, we'll connect differently in the future. And that's a good thing. Like you said, like it, it will be good for Ruby to have her father and to be like, know that she can come to me with whatever and hopefully, oh man, hopefully I can do well enough and build enough of a relationship that she can come with the, to me, with the things that she does, like.
[00:41:36] Cory: That most people, I guess, would feel uncomfortable with. I immediately just in that sense, like went back to some of the talk about shame and Christian, I don't know where all of the shame came from for you and maybe that's a conversation for a different day. But I would hope there that I can provide a safety and a security and a love for my daughter that like will create an atmosphere where she can come to [00:42:00] me with things so that she doesn't have to carry.
[00:42:03] Cory: Yeah. Shame or what, I don't know. Like how do you, how do you even put that into word with little girls are different. I'm about to have a little boy and I'm terrified about having a little boy cuz it's like I feel like I just got the little girl down and I don't know man. I don't know. But I think that it's just like the you can't be all things for everybody all the time.
[00:42:22] Cory: And that sometimes includes our kids and that's hard. I. Like being there whenever we can in the way that we can best support them, I guess. I don't know. 
[00:42:31] Christian: Oh, I love that you're even saying that because the conversations I've had with the book have predominantly been with older men and at first I was like, oh, well this isn't gonna help the book at all.
[00:42:41] Christian: But I've seen many fathers leaning into the message cuz they're like, I wanna understand my child. Yes, I wanna be there and I wanna help and I wanna be that safe space again. And taking that into equation with how God sees us is like, and if there any, I'd love to come back on and talk all about the book and shame, like it's such a passion project for me.
[00:42:58] Christian: But if anyone is juggling with that, [00:43:00] like hear Corey's heart and know that that's even just a glimpse of the father's heart. Like he doesn't want us go through isolation. He wants us to have that open relationship cuz he, he made us, he noticed, he knows what what makes breaks us and he wants to steward our hearts.
[00:43:13] Christian: Well. Yeah. 
[00:43:14] Cory: Just have, throw that one in there. Yeah. I mean, for sure it's we being earthly parents. Have that, how much more is the Heavenly Father? Right. You know, it's just mm-hmm. It's just a shadow of what the father's heart is for us. Like That's great. 
[00:43:29] Arden: And 
[00:43:30] Christian: I'm sure you're a great shadow wasn't diminishing.
[00:43:32] Cory: No, I mean, I'm trying to be the best I can be by the grace of God, I'm sure. Yeah. 
[00:43:36] Taylor: Well, here's what I know, I know that Christian just put out a YouTube video about potty training her 10 month old. So at 10 months. Yes. At 10 months. 
[00:43:49] Arden: Achievers we're achievers. Look at you. Look at you achieving 
[00:43:53] Cory: man. 
[00:43:54] Arden: Diaper are expensive, y'all.
[00:43:55] Arden: Because if I, if he, if I'm upstairs with him alone and he, she hears [00:44:00] him start straining cause he is poop. She's like, put him on the potty. Potty. I've worked so hard. He's 10 months. 
[00:44:07] Cory: That's amazing. 
[00:44:10] Christian: He's an overcomer bible works out 
[00:44:12] Cory: there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your son's pot. That's, oh my gosh. I don't even know where to begin.
[00:44:21] Cory: So you have a podcast about that. I'm gonna listen. There's a YouTube video. A YouTube video on potty training. Watch 
[00:44:28] Arden: it, watch. 
[00:44:29] Cory: I gotta get into it. Also, the, this is completely off topic, but the, the act of like, when you have a kid and you see them bear down to like, go to the bathroom, it is such a aggressive thing.
[00:44:41] Cory: Animals. And then I only like look at my head, I'm like, oh my God. Is like, is am. But like times 10 or 20 or however much bigger I am, is this like this what I look like? Like that's a, that's a, that's a horrible thought. Like this is what all humans look like when like, this is crazy, but she just, poor girl.
[00:44:57] Cory: Just veins popping outta her [00:45:00] head. Getting it done. She's just getting it done. Sorry. I'll go on. 
[00:45:04] Taylor: She's all right. Well listen to change topics off of that one. So that was kind of a, a dive into what God's been speaking to you Christian. We talked about the, but I want to go back to Arden cuz I feel like you had an answer for that and I want to hear, want to hear what it is?
[00:45:20] Taylor: Yeah. Stop talking to you about speaking into you about. 
[00:45:23] Arden: Yeah, and this has always been the thing that I've been passionate about. And I think it's really cool that we get to do this together. And this is kind of our heart behind what everything that we're doing in terms of YouTube podcasts you know, even courses that we do is we, we wanna see this generation live on purpose and like that's what we have on our YouTube banner is live on purpose.
[00:45:43] Arden: And we kind of italicize the purpose because we understand that. You know, the purpose is thrown around a lot in a worldly term, but you know, true purpose is found within our creative creator and how he created us. And I love what the Bible talks about within Romans. And it says, you know, the entire cosmos, the entire galaxy [00:46:00] universe is waiting for the unveiling of God's glorious sons and daughters.
[00:46:04] Arden: Like that idea that heaven and earth is waiting for you to understand what God's placed you in what God called you in when you became a son or a daughter of God. And that the pinnacle of your relationship with God is not the day that you got saved, but it's actually a continuation. It's just the beginning.
[00:46:22] Arden: You know, that's absolutely incredible and amazing and heaven is rejoicing, but there's so much more that God has waiting for you that he wants you to discover. And so seeing this generation unlock those things, and I think for Christian and I, we've always tried to throw out the balance of, well, do we want to just speak to just.
[00:46:40] Arden: People that are like us, that are, you know, saved and, and you know, are similar to us or do we want to try to broaden that, that sphere. And so we've really tried to be creative on how we can reach people that are outside of just, you know, the normal people that we would normally interact. To really challenge that, that perspective [00:47:00] and really see purpose be found within the mundane of their life, within the things that they feel like, you know, hey, I'm a mother of, of four kids and I don't feel like there's a lot of purpose within my life outside of just raising these kids and understanding there is so much purpose that God has infused within you, and it comes into that understanding of who he's called you to be.
[00:47:20] Arden: And I think so much what we do is we always think you have to, you know, do something like, let's say if God calls you holy, you know, it's like, hey. If God calls me holy, that means I gotta, you know, stand out from the crowd. It's like, no, God called you holy from the foundations of the earth. He called his people holy.
[00:47:37] Arden: And because of that, like be because he's what he is placed on you. You stand out from all the other people like you stand out because there's so a mark that God has placed on you. And so seeing this generation really grab hold of that, of their understanding of their who they are in Christ, understanding who God's called them to be and live from that place of his calling and his purpose that he has on [00:48:00] your life.
[00:48:00] Arden: That's what we, I mean, we've been really passionate about and that's what everything makes him an identity more than 
[00:48:05] Christian: a 
[00:48:06] Arden: career or. Yeah, I think, yeah, like I think the biggest thing that people do is they wrap up their calling to just their occupation. Like I, I'm called to be a businessman. I'm called to be a pastor.
[00:48:18] Arden: Whereas they completely skip past their original calling, which is to be a son or a daughter or God and you know, sons and simplifies everything else. Yeah. Yes. Simplifies. And it puts purpose into everything else. Like, people look at their calling and they say, well, I don't, I don't know what my calling is because I'm not in the occupation that I, maybe I think I'm supposed to be called to, or I don't know.
[00:48:38] Arden: And, and they, they simplify or they, yeah, they simplify it to that where God says no, there's already so much purpose infused within your life. And so discovering that of how to do marriage well, how to do relationships well, you know, how to, how to potty train your child. Well, it's like there's, there's purpose within that because God's called you a son or a [00:49:00] daughter of God, and that's infused every single moment that you have on this earth with purpose.
[00:49:05] Arden: And so getting people just to, to realize that, because I do see a generation right now that is very, very confused right now. They don't know what they're called to, they don't know you know, where they're supposed to be and, and that the people that they look up to I mean, just honestly, they're, they're not people that who they should try to be mimicking their lives after.
[00:49:26] Arden: Like I think there's so much information out there. That they're, they're trading information, Fortran, you know, or trading transformation for information. You know, they're not going to the source of the word of God to realize what God has created them to. So yeah, that sum, sum it up, you know, to so gosh, 
[00:49:45] Cory: to, to like simplify, like from like all the, like the church terms.
[00:49:48] Cory: Like if we're all called to be sons and daughters, like that's our original calling and our purpose. Like what does that look like? What does it, what's the primary thing that a son and daughter of Christ does, like on the earth? 
[00:49:58] Arden: I think the simplest [00:50:00] way, and I love how my brother actually framed this out in his book, saints, is he said Sons and daughters of God are people who find purpose within the mundane of life.
[00:50:09] Arden: And I think that's a really beautiful thing because you look at Jesus's life and it was in the mundane that he discovered in and created so much purpose. Like as you're, you know, walking out of a through the mundane too. Yeah. As you're walking out of a store, as you're filling up gas, like as you're, as you're having a conversation with your, your daughter, like yeah.
[00:50:29] Arden: Those are things that might seem like, hey, this is just the, the normal that I go through. But sons and daughters of God are people who realize, Every single moment that God has you here on earth is infused with purpose. And so living aware and, you know, awake or yeah, living aware and, and alive to that realization mm-hmm.
[00:50:50] Arden: I think is, is kind of the sole you know, really Yeah. Differentiating thing. And that of course comes through a greater understanding of partnership with the Holy Spirit. 
[00:50:58] Taylor: Yeah. I have a [00:51:00] quote, actually, I have a quote actually from Arden's book. Okay. So guys, just for, for anybody who who doesn't know, right?
[00:51:07] Taylor: Arden wrote a book called Redefined. If you haven't read it, you should go get it. It's amazing. And the, the whole premise of the book is that basically on social media, you put out a, a post, and it was basically asked if you could describe the young adult generation, right. Our generation in one word.
[00:51:22] Taylor: What, what would that word be? And the words that came back were words like loss, broken, doubtful, regretful, offended, lacking, addicted, discouraged, entitled, and fearful. And he basically wrote an entire book, basically combating those things that that's not what defines us. Right. But he, Arden, just, just for confirmation, you were using the word calling and purpose interchangeably, right?
[00:51:45] Taylor: When you were just talking. 
[00:51:47] Arden: Yeah. Yeah. Because here's the thing is like, like I kind of even showed there is the world labels this generation and like the thing is about label, it always speaks to who you were in the past or who you are right now. It [00:52:00] can't see beyond your current situation. Oh my gosh.
[00:52:03] Arden: But a calling, 
[00:52:04] Taylor: you gotta let me do this. You gotta, let me stop you. 
[00:52:06] Arden: You ready? Oh yeah. Gotta stop. Are you gonna do it? You ready? 
[00:52:08] Taylor: Here's the quote. Do it. Our calling trump's labels. Every time labels shrink. Our world callings in larger our world labels disqualify and limit us. Callings, qualify and release us.
[00:52:20] Taylor: Labels are temporary, callings are eternal. Yeah. 
[00:52:24] Arden: That's the quote. Which God, which God never, never labels his people. He calls 'em. Calls 'em out of their bondage, out of their things that they were never spoke. I mean, a Samaritan woman, he didn't speak to who she was in that moment. He saw so much more for her and was able to call her out of that, into the calling that he has.
[00:52:43] Arden: And I think when you label someone, you keep them where they are. I remember my parents did this with us boys growing up, is they would always call us princes. And it was like whenever we acted up, whenever we messed up, whenever we hit our brother, they were like, Hey, you're a prince. And they're like, you're a prince of the most high God.
[00:52:59] Arden: [00:53:00] And I'm like, did you discover some lineage that I don't know about? Like there's some royal history that I need to know. And they said, no, you're a prince of God, which means you do not act like that. And they said, the calling that's on your life will not cause you to do those things. And they would call me out of that.
[00:53:17] Arden: They wouldn't speak to that and say, you know, you're lying, you're doing this. They would call me based off of the identity that God has established for me. And that's what I, I do wanna see for this generation, cuz I do feel like and I've had to catch myself at times being discouraged by things I've seen in this generation that I've caught myself just speaking ill and speaking down, rather than speaking to what this generation is capable of, that God has planned for them, that they can only discover through, you know, a deeper relationship and deeper understanding of, you know, the Holy Spirit and what God's plans is for their life.
[00:53:52] Cory: Christian, can you give us, like, so you've talked about, like, you guys both talked about like this idea of the opportunity, finding opportunity in the mundane, like what's a [00:54:00] practical way. Gimme an example of like, what's a mundane thing that we can like find purpose in and you know, show the love of 
[00:54:08] Arden: Christ?
[00:54:09] Arden: Like what does 
[00:54:09] Christian: that look like? It can be very specific or very generic to each and every person, but I think it's, for us, it's being open to being open, like letting the Holy Spirit lead you. And it's really hard when our schedules are filled. That's one thing I've seen with motherhood is I used to, you know, I'm a go-getter.
[00:54:30] Christian: I love, be creative, so it's like eight to five doing work and then we're doing the YouTube thing doing this. But with motherhood, being at the whim of someone else has really changed my trajectory or my scope and being open handed to my day. And I think when we're relying on the Holy Spirit and open to him leading.
[00:54:48] Christian: You know, usually he's not gonna be like, oh, don't go to work today. I need you to go to this random person's house and like bake them cookies. He might, and you know, if you wanna bake cookies and come here, I fully welcome it. [00:55:00] But it's more so, like just to smile at someone. Right. Maybe a paying it forward, maybe an encouraging word, just showing someone they're valuable.
[00:55:07] Christian: I mean, we had an instance today where someone came for a Facebook market exchange and I thought, oh, yay, I'm getting some money so we can get some new decor for our house. But this person showed up and just was like, I don't even know if I asked a question, but they just started talking about their life and I was like, oh, what an opportunity to show value in someone, to be a daughter to a daughter.
[00:55:30] Christian: And I think that's really what it is. It's having open eyes, open heart, seeing how he sees us so we can see others in a similar 
[00:55:38] Cory: fashion. Yeah, that's the, that this the crazy thing is like, we're always moving to the next thing, whether back in the days when we had to commute to our jobs before the pandemic, I just remember I would always be like sitting in traffic and just like at, like, I'm, I'm, there's, the light is gonna change three or four times before I can even get through it.
[00:55:57] Cory: But it would just sit there and be like, so focused on like the [00:56:00] clock or what's going on to not even notice the person that was like right across the street the same way. And like, has, I'd be just like, it's not that hard to smile. It's not that hard to acknowledge somebody's presence, like mm-hmm. You know, when they ask Christ, like, how will they know that we're followers?
[00:56:17] Cory: Like it's, I feel like it gets thrown out a lot. It's like they'll know you by your love and like, it's hard to love somebody if you don't notice them through the, very, like the standing to wait to get a prescription filled anywhere, anywhere. Like, it's just like, it's just so easy to just be like, Let me get through this experience so I can get onto the next thing that's important, instead of actually being present in the moment and saying like, who does God want me to just interact with quickly?
[00:56:41] Cory: I just think that it's just like for, like, not everybody is in the same boat or having the same experience and there are people out there that is like, if they could just experience a little bit of kindness in their day, it can have a profound impact on them even just getting through this to the next day.
[00:56:57] Cory: Um mm-hmm. And it doesn't always have to be these [00:57:00] monumental gifts of generosity, which it could be, but like, it's just being aware and sensitive enough to the spirit in the moment that it could just be a smile and to somebody like that, just like nobody's even looked at me today and then, you know, Christian saw me, this, this lady saw me.
[00:57:15] Cory: And like, that felt really great. Like that's, I dunno, go ahead. Sorry. Yeah, we don't live on 
[00:57:20] Christian: a, like, we don't live on a conveyor belt. Like our paths are not linear. We're supposed to interact with people and I know you have a beautiful testimony. About that. I don't know if that's what you were getting ready to 
[00:57:29] Arden: share.
[00:57:29] Arden: No, I mean, I was just gonna talk about like we, we, I think oftentimes we talk about generosity so much through a, a financial lens, but real, like realizing your most valuable asset is time. Yeah. And so giving someone your time, whether it's just Yeah, going a little extra, just asking how their day is mm-hmm.
[00:57:49] Arden: Is oftentimes what will be used in such a supernatural way. Like what Christian was mentioning, is I remember I was at party when I was in high school and God stirred on my heart just to go [00:58:00] ask someone how they were. And just in that moment of me not wanting to go have a conversation with someone, I wouldn't ask that person how they were, I.
[00:58:07] Arden: I came to realize they were gonna take their life that night. And they said if anyone was, no one was gonna show up any kind of compassion or kindness or acknowledge them that they were gonna do it. And just through that one instance of just me giving some time, I, you know, God used me to save that girl's life.
[00:58:23] Arden: And, and so realizing that we have that opportunity, every single one of us, we can say, oh, I, I don't have, I, I can't afford to be generous. I don't have money. No, you do. You have time. And time is such a valuable asset to you that if you can give it to people to, to add and enrich and strengthen their lives, it's going to be repaid back to you in such a eternal 
[00:58:44] Taylor: internal way.
[00:58:45] Taylor: I can tell you that if you've, if anybody's listening has ever heard my testimony before, then you know this. But I was that person at the party. I, there was a night back in it was a summer between freshman and and sophomore year of college where I was [00:59:00] prepared to take my life. And I got a text message that saved my life and it was literally a text and it was, Hey, haven't talked to you in a while, but just wanna know, I care about you and love you.
[00:59:12] Taylor: It was just funny I hadn't talked to in months, but they sent me a text message that night and that was, that was God, like, God was acting through that and, and directing that. And that's why I'm here. So it's such an amazing thing of where when we're just, when we just love other people, when we're just nice to people, when we can just smile, it changes everything.
[00:59:36] Taylor: And I think it's also super amazing and, awesome that like, I want my children to, to grow up knowing that too. Of like, Hey, let's not look at somebody and think, oh, this or that. Like, let's smile at them, let's look at them. How can we help them? Let's look at them and hey, do they need the shirt off our backs?
[00:59:55] Taylor: Or do they need a smile? Or do they like, just need a high five, like let's go and do it. [01:00:00] And I love that so much. And we're kind of, kind of winding down, but I did want to ask a, another question cuz I don't know if any of this is related or completely unrelated or not, but Christian, your book coming out, breakup with what broke you can you give us a, a 32nd, a minute long synopsis of, what that book is about who should read it, all that kind of stuff.
[01:00:26] Christian: Yeah, if you would've asked me a week ago, the who should read it would've been really different. I would've just said young women that have notably gone through a shameful experience or wanna know who their identity is. Cause they don't feel like they found it yet. But I think it's really applicable to parents.
[01:00:42] Christian: I'm finding that now is a bridge because for me it's the book that I wish I had pre-high school, pre-college during both of those as well. It's really a discovery into the things that can break us. But we're all semi broken in some state until we're re I with [01:01:00] Christ. Right? So finding those footholds and attacking them in a way of establishing your identity, knowing your worth not being.
[01:01:09] Christian: Moved around by the things that we come up against, but being able to have a firm foundation, we talk about, or we, I'm so used to saying we, it's a great thing, but I talk about regret, shame, comparison, really wrote it, tailored to young women. But again, a lot of dads and men are reading it too. So it's a lot of testimonials.
[01:01:28] Christian: I get very raw and real about the healing journey God showed me. And I'm so thankful for that journey. And if it can help anyone that might feel, yes, I need this, or maybe just potentially there is a longing to want to be more whole and, and healthy, that's who I would invite to read the book. 
[01:01:45] Taylor: I love that.
[01:01:46] Taylor: I mean, I love it for the fact that Cory can read it because he read book for sure. Right. You, I had muted you because I was talking, but Cory said he was gonna read the book, but I muted him again. It's fine. But no, I mean, like even things like that, I mean, [01:02:00] I think of, of, even, even though I may not be target demographic for it, right?
[01:02:04] Taylor: I wanna read it. Because even as a young boy, like I had shame and I had regret and I had all of these things too. Maybe different experiences, right? But I still have two young children that are growing up that I want to know how I can talk to them, how I can help them through different things and, and God willing, I have a girl one day that would be amazing.
[01:02:26] Taylor: One, I'm scared of it. I'm scared to have a little girl, but one day hopefully. But no, that's, that's incredible and that's amazing and I think you guys are incredible and amazing. And like we've talked about Christian has a YouTube channel. There's Arden and Christian Bevere on YouTube, they have a podcast, they have all the different things.
[01:02:46] Taylor: Based off of any of this, like give you guys each like 30 seconds a minute and then we're done. Like anything else you want to say to the people, you can say anything you want, direct them anywhere you want, pray for people. You can do literally whatever you would like to do. You're [01:03:00] the floor is yours.
[01:03:01] Taylor: Yeah, 
[01:03:01] Arden: I mean I think, I think it just goes back to what we've talked about so much is that we just wanted you to know that there is such a, an amazing purpose on your life and what God has for you. And God's called you to do relationships well. And through that process of doing them well, there's discovery, there's, there's things that will happen and God's just called you to continue to keep pushing through those things and continue to keep seeking him, seeking for understanding.
[01:03:27] Arden: And we really believe that this generation's called to change the world. And so we wanna see that, that this generation discovers those things and also taps into what God has placed on their life in a deeper sense of the relationship that he has for them. Cuz I really believe that's where true life change and calling comes from.
[01:03:46] Arden: It's just a greater understanding of God. Yeah, 
[01:03:49] Christian: and I think I would encourage anyone that's listening, I would just want to say that. Your healing journey, your living in fullness is worth the discovery. I mean, Jesus was [01:04:00] the benefactor. He paid the price for you to have life to the fullest. So why not go the extra mile to to live that well, to do your due diligence, but also you have an invitation sometimes especially shame or regret, like however I experience it or how Taylor's saying he experienced it, it can tell us that we're no longer worthy.
[01:04:18] Christian: But quite the opposite is true. And I would just tell you, don't let that keep you from going deeper. Like I just, I'm visualizing like God knocking at a door for someone and I just wanna tell you you're allowed to open it. 
[01:04:31] Arden: That's 
[01:04:31] Cory: awesome. Did you mute me again? No, you were mute. Okay, good. 
[01:04:37] Christian: Thanks. Thanks for the dramatic silencer.
[01:04:39] Cory: No, that was good. Thanks. 
[01:04:42] Taylor: See I muted you that time cause I thought you were done. No, it's, it's 
[01:04:46] Cory: fine. Go ahead. I was just trying to say thank you. It's, I feel like I live, so Taylor has you know, your own experience through Messenger and your relationships with these guys. So it's been cool. I feel like I've kind of heard about or met all of [01:05:00] you guys, like vicariously through tey.
[01:05:01] Cory: But it's been really awesome just to sit down and like have a conversation with you guys. And I look forward to the next time we chat. That was great. Yeah. 
[01:05:09] Arden: Yeah. Thank you guys so much for, I mean, asking us to be on that as a huge honor. Appreciate it you guys, but trust our voices enough to come on to here.
[01:05:17] Taylor: Hey, thank you. And, and guys, I just wanna, I feel like I, I always do this, but I wanna, tell everybody out there that like, the people that you hear on the podcast, like this is who Arden and Christian are. And it, it, it's funny, like we only really met a couple of months ago, honestly, but our first time meeting was at a dinner and we got to sit across the table from each other and we just got to talk and get to know each other.
[01:05:41] Taylor: And. They are amazing people. And for anything around identity, go check out redefined. I'm super excited about Christian's book coming out in August. August 15th. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Good job. And it would be, it's gonna be amazing. We'll have her back on to talk about the book some more [01:06:00] to, to deep dive into that.
[01:06:02] Taylor: But go check them out on YouTube. Go check out their podcast. They're really, really, really amazing. And just thank you guys. Thank you for your time. And listen, their child, their child is like the little godfather. Okay? He's a little godfather and he's amazing and precious. And no, I just really appreciate you guys, appreciate your friendship, appreciate your relationship, and look forward to, to doing life together.
[01:06:26] Taylor: Chairman. Matt, 
[01:06:27] Cory: you got anything you wanna say? 
[01:06:29] Arden: Oh, you unmuted me. No, I'm all good. Thank you. You did a great job. No, great job. Love you 
[01:06:38] Cory: guys. Thank you. All right. Love you everybody.