Ever found yourself questioning the true depth of trust in your relationship, or how sickness can test the strength of your bond? We grapple with these gritty realities with the help of Destini, as we unpack a Reddit saga that puts the spotlight on intimacy and trust. A husband's eavesdropped conversation throws his marriage into turmoil, revealing his wife's apparent lack of interest in their physical connection, and raising the specter of infidelity. With Destini's unfiltered perspective, we confront the heart-wrenching prospect that love might be slipping away and whether it's time to cut the cord on a relationship that's lost its spark.
The journey doesn't stop there; we also navigate the choppy seas of marital duty when illness strikes. Imagine contracting COVID-19 only to find your partner MIA, preferring the thrill of pickleball to the bedside of their sick spouse. We debate the expectations of caregiving, and whether hobbies should ever come before health. Plus, we offer counsel to a listener at their wit's end with a flaky partner, reinforcing the importance of respect and presence in a relationship. With real talk and hard-hitting advice, this episode is a must-listen for anyone wrestling with the complexities of love, commitment, and when to recognize that enough is enough.
Get $10 off of Dr. Squatch soap right now! Use the code WDYM
www.drsquatch.com/WDYM
Email me! Thewdympodcast@gmail.com
Intro by Kobeofei via Fiverr Season 2 Artwork: Ishida1694 via Instagram
Ever found yourself questioning the true depth of trust in your relationship, or how sickness can test the strength of your bond? We grapple with these gritty realities with the help of Destini, as we unpack a Reddit saga that puts the spotlight on intimacy and trust. A husband's eavesdropped conversation throws his marriage into turmoil, revealing his wife's apparent lack of interest in their physical connection, and raising the specter of infidelity. With Destini's unfiltered perspective, we confront the heart-wrenching prospect that love might be slipping away and whether it's time to cut the cord on a relationship that's lost its spark.
The journey doesn't stop there; we also navigate the choppy seas of marital duty when illness strikes. Imagine contracting COVID-19 only to find your partner MIA, preferring the thrill of pickleball to the bedside of their sick spouse. We debate the expectations of caregiving, and whether hobbies should ever come before health. Plus, we offer counsel to a listener at their wit's end with a flaky partner, reinforcing the importance of respect and presence in a relationship. With real talk and hard-hitting advice, this episode is a must-listen for anyone wrestling with the complexities of love, commitment, and when to recognize that enough is enough.
Get $10 off of Dr. Squatch soap right now! Use the code WDYM
www.drsquatch.com/WDYM
Email me! Thewdympodcast@gmail.com
Intro by Kobeofei via Fiverr Season 2 Artwork: Ishida1694 via Instagram
Announcer :
You're listening to the WDYM, the what Do you Mean podcast. Now everyone gather around and listen to one of Hamilton's best podcasts. No research to back this up Post Michael Gillespie and welcome to another episode of the WDYM.
Michael :
I'm your host, Michael Gillespie. As Kobe said, how's everybody doing? Hope everybody's doing well. Hope everybody's doing good here in the year of 2024. This episode, this episode, we have a special guest in the studio. This is her second episode. She's done as you want. Well, I've asked her to do a Reddit on Reddit to see how she thinks when she hears these situations. Ladies and gentlemen, my number one, Destini Gillespie, wrong one. Hello.
Destini:
Hello.
Michael :
Can I hear you? Yeah, all right. So, like I said before, we are doing a Read it on Reddit where we take a topic that's on Reddit and we discuss it for the consumers to consume. Now, usually when I do these, I look up the topics and, you know, start to decipher a response to that. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm the only one that's done that today. So anytime I do, the topic Destini' s not studied or has any idea what I'm about to say. Now, mind you, this is a G show, so you have to stay with me when I say these things Like I use. If you've read, if you've listened to a Read it on Reddit before, you know I use the word cheese To replace a certain S word. Right, this is a G show, this is a G show. We keep it that way. So, Destini, are you ready? I'm ready, all right. The first topic.
Destini:
Who's going to answer first? You, me, yeah.
Michael :
It's funner that way, I mean here you're going to respond to.
Michael :
I'm going to give it a response to. Okay, all right, here we go. This one is from Sweetie Pie, 3064. The title is my wife, who's 53, but down me he's a 55 year old man. How concerned should I be? The story goes my wife but down me one day while she was supposed to be at work. The but down lasted for seven minutes and 15 seconds and during that time so for you got to be specific with this During that time I only heard two voices a man and my wife.
Michael :
Man was asking my wife out for a drink. She stated I don't get to. I don't get to drink because my man is an alcoholic. He should be happy if I got drunk because he might get laid. I haven't had a drink. And this is him saying I have had a drink in nine years and we have. And we were not married when I drank about seven years ago.
Michael :
We quit having regular cheese For about four years. Our schedule was every two months. We would have cheese twice, either on the same day or two days in a row. For the past two and a half years or so, he has been once every three months. During the time that we had, we have been pretty much cheese-less and has and has presented me for a very long variety of reasons why we can't eat cheese. For the longest time she stated her hormones are out of whack. But she has been tested numerous times and they have always came back fine.
Michael :
We did not kiss during cheese fest, nor will she look at me. She prefers doggy style. But if we had mission and she turns her head, close her eyes during the day. If I try yes, if I tried to if I try to hug her, she pushes, pushes me away, rejects my hug 90% of the time. I'm not asking for advice on how to get my wife to be more intimate. That ship is sale, just to verify. I'm not crazy. I did see the doctor. I don't have halitosis. So, destiny, yes. What is your advice for sweetie pie 3064?
Destini:
Sounds like she's getting her cheese somewhere else. Well, why can't you look at him?
Michael :
Well, I mean, that's weird, isn't it?
Destini:
Yeah, yeah. Why does she turn her head? Why are they married?
Michael :
exactly.
Destini:
What is going on?
Michael :
I mean, I read these things and find out that people are not enjoying their cheese a lot.
Destini:
And why is it twice in the same day and then you gotta wait two more months?
Michael :
Yeah it doesn't make no sense. So what is your advice for them? What do you? What do you tell these two people? Get a divorce. Get a divorce. You don't want to work it out? I mean, it did they just say nine years of this. Yeah, about seven years ago we quit having cheese on a regular basis. Why?
Destini:
Why did they quit? Do they have kids? Did something happen? Did he cheat? Did she cheat?
Michael :
No, no you can't assume, you can't go outside the perimeter of what they say. Yeah, so You're just gonna say forget it, get the divorce.
Destini:
I mean he did well. Oh, yeah, the but dial. Yeah, he needs to ask her who she was talking to right where the why. What was she doing when she was supposed to be at work, when this but now happened?
Michael :
right and he hasn't confronted her yet. So I think, one, he's intimidated by her in some fashion and two, he doesn't want to Do. You know what he's trying to do? I think he's trying to do a Confirm about it, which is weird to me right. Very right.
Destini:
So you just say do you work it out or do you just? I feel like she's already done.
Michael :
Yeah, yeah, I see that she doesn't sound like she doesn't even care. She didn't want to look at him right or even like kiss him right. How do you go that far, hello man? I doctor, I think I got high lethosis because my wife doesn't want to look at me, pushes the hug like get off me, last chance. What do you say?
Destini:
Yeah, I think she's done. She's done, she's checked out. No, no, been checked out been checked out.
Michael :
I agree with you. Number one's done. Number two is my girlfriend 27 has blocked me on social media. I think another female who's 33. So this is a lesbian couple.
Michael :
All right, I feel like I'm ruining my outlook on relationships. We've been together for months now and I'm super I'm a super sensitive person. When I first met her, she acted the same way. It was perfect. Then she changed. She's very sensitive to the very little things, which is overwhelming to me because I can't joke around, I can't share certain memes, etc. Well, we are together, but she got to the point where she has blocked me on Facebook, snapchat, tic-tac, because she says she can't handle seeing other people compliment me very innocent compliments from lifelong friends.
Michael :
I've never been. I've never done anything to break trust. The only bad thing I've done is set a boundary. I feel the need that we I feel the need that we need to be together 24-7. We don't need to text, talk, facetime when the sun's up to the sun down. I feel something. I feel sometimes I need my own time. Plus, I work a full time job. This is, but this is normal. We have significant others blocked just because they don't seem they don't like seeing others interact with. Interact with your significant other. No one even is disrespectful. I never allow that. But as females even say I look pretty, if guy friends say I look pretty, she loses. It Calls me screaming and crying. You're on the clock for throw a tat. Tatted queen, that's. That's the lady's name. What's your advice?
Destini:
What is the girlfriend hiding? So she's blocked on everything.
Michael :
Right, I thought that was weird.
Destini:
Yeah. Yeah, like you're in a relationship, why?
Michael :
Exactly If you're in a relationship like I shouldn't know, is that one thing? Like, for example, I had Snapchat long before you did yeah, so I got it. Yeah, Because you're like I'm a post this on Snapchat and I wanted to see Right and I had no problems with that.
Destini:
So why would she like block her from everything? Exactly Sounds like, the girlfriend is jealous if people compliment her, even though it's just to compliment her. It's not anything like ooh, she wants to get with her.
Michael :
Right.
Destini:
She's insecure.
Michael :
Yeah, and. But the thing is that I always noticed like always try to find how long they've been together, and in this post they said they only been together for months. So was that a red flag for these people? I think so, yeah.
Destini:
Because it's only been months and you're already blocking her from certain parts of your life. Then what's to say that years down the line that they won't block from something or hide them, hide something from her.
Michael :
Right. So let me ask this. She says she said we don't need to text talk FaceTime from summer to sundown. Feel like sometimes I need my own time.
Destini:
Okay.
Michael :
No, that's not a big deal.
Destini:
No, everybody needs their own personal space and a break.
Michael :
Yep.
Destini:
That's not a big deal. Yeah, what? Nothing. What are we going to say? Stop.
Michael :
Fine on that. It's petty, it's petty.
Destini:
Why would you do that? So something else is going on that she doesn't know about or something Okay.
Michael :
So do you think this calls for a breakup or a talk, or what?
Destini:
I think, a talk and figure out what the real reason is behind her not wanting her on any of her socials and the thing is that they're aged, they're at, they're both one's 20, 70, almost 33.
Michael :
At a certain point in life, you why do you still act like that? You know what I mean, yeah grow up Exactly.
Destini:
What's going on?
Michael :
Yeah, we're just two grown adults. So there you go Tattoo queen, tattoo or throw a tatted queen, have a communication with your significant other and just say you know what's going on.
Destini:
Why do you feel this way? Yeah, why don't you?
Michael :
want to be my friend. Yeah, I want to be my friends. The third one I chose this one because I had COVID a couple weeks ago.
Destini:
Yeah, me too.
Michael :
Yeah, um, I am a 26 year old female. Am I wrong to be annoyed that my husband doesn't really take care of me when I'm sick? We just got back from an international vacation over the holidays. I presumed I got COVID on the flight back. Since returning I've lost 11 pounds and pretty much have slept a half a day for a week. We have thought this was a stomach virus, but the symptoms shifted around day three ish and it felt more COVID. And, lo and behold, it is since arriving back from last Sunday and my falling ill Tuesday.
Michael :
He left me four times in the day slash night for fun activities. I can't help but feel a bit abandoned. He's gone and played pickleball for about three hours, twice rock climbing, and today he went out to a friend's house to watch a basketball game. He has tested negative for COVID. I've been getting deliveries for food and I don't feel up to cook.
Michael :
I feel like he knows I've been sleeping 12 plus hours a night and I have a horrible time generally with all the basic COVID symptoms that I set in, and yet he still bans me for meal times and doesn't really offer in any way to help with my illness. A month or two ago he was sick and I distinctly remember cooking soup generally being a tentative and getting anything he needs and whatnot. Am I being needy to expect that he takes care of me for a bit when I'm sick? All these events he's been going to are things we usually do together, not with other people, aside from watching the basketball game tonight. It was not even like he would be canceling the others to spend time with me, generally being comforting and helpful when I'm sick.
Destini:
Married.
Michael :
Didn't say Didn't say Did not say.
Destini:
She's not wrong. She's not wrong, no.
Michael :
Hold on, guys. Got to cue the music, so she's not wrong. No.
Destini:
No.
Michael :
She lost 11 pounds.
Destini:
Yeah, he ain't taking care of her. She lost 11 pounds Cause she's sick. Who was 11 pounds when they're sick?
Michael :
She got the Ebola. I'm not mad at him for this one. What I mean? Listen, wait, wait, wait, wait, listen to this. She got she. They went on an international vacation, so she picked up something from Europe.
Destini:
That means he's probably got it too.
Michael :
But he's, he tested negative.
Destini:
It doesn't mean he won't test positive in a couple of days?
Michael :
That's why he's avoided spreading it to everybody else Socialize. No, he is avoiding her Ebola. Version of COVID.
Destini:
It's too late, They've already been. No, they were on the fight together.
Michael :
They were on the vacation together, you don't know they're set together.
Destini:
Really it's too late.
Michael :
No, he's already been exposed. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no. Okay, listen, if he doesn't want to be around her, right?
Destini:
he can still make sure she has her needs met.
Michael :
Right.
Destini:
He can make sure she's got food and medicine and drinks and that she's feeling okay to be by herself.
Michael :
Door dash.
Destini:
No, no, unless he door dashes it for her. That's what I'm saying, but he ain't doing anything. Why you don't?
Michael :
I mean clearly.
Destini:
Well, look, complain on Reddit.
Michael :
I listen, listen, listen. She said 11 pounds. You don't lose her, she's really sick. Well, that's why you don't really be close to her. Put a mask on.
Destini:
No, there's no masking. No masking, they live together. I'm assuming the way.
Michael :
The way it's written is like they live together. But pickleball is fun. Have you ever played pickleball before? No, never Sounds fun. It sounds fun, yeah, but the thing is all serious and all seriousness he can least cook for her. Soup, soup, something. You made me soup when you had COVID? Yeah, I did. And how?
Destini:
much did you eat?
Michael :
I ate a lot of meat.
Destini:
I ate a lot of meat.
Michael :
I ate a lot of meat, and how much did you eat?
Destini:
Not much, because you gave me COVID and I couldn't eat it.
Michael :
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, if you're going to bring personal issues up on here, mind you, I said I will stay in the basement.
Destini:
Too late, I was already exposed. No, you, that's your excuse.
Michael :
No, yes.
Destini:
You already exposed, you exposed everybody. I did not.
Michael :
You're the only one that has because you want to be still up under me when I was sick. I didn't. I said I was staying in the basement and take it See. See, this is why he didn't want to be around, because he had a dish. He had the European version of COVID. How you lose 11 pounds? I mean, yeah, I understand you sick and you don't have an appetite, but 11 pounds, that's a lot.
Destini:
That is a lot.
Michael :
Well, he wasn't feeding her he wasn't like baby, you should probably have some soup. This is before.
Destini:
I'll go get you some.
Michael :
This is before he was not doing that. This is before and she wasn't sleeping. I bet he was kind of get ready for the zombie apocalypse. You lose 11 pounds. You only sleep in half day. I'm pretty sure he's getting ready for the zombie apocalypse. No, he's playing pickleball.
Destini:
Have a good old guy.
Michael :
Rock climbing, pickleball and basketball. Hey, see that, what, what could, what? She couldn't do it. He's probably like they used to do things together and since she's so sick, he probably couldn't do it anyway, right? So it's like you know all my friends.
Destini:
Well, he could have went out with his friends, fine, but he should have made sure she was taken care of first.
Michael :
11 pounds 11 pounds.
Destini:
Next All right.
Michael :
That's number three. Next one how do I, 35 year old female, let a friend, 35 year old male, know that I'm interested? I, 35 year old female, know this friend, 34 male, for a long time for about 10 years. We haven't been very close and don't keep in context so much. I describe him as a friend from the past. We have lived in different cities so there isn't a reason for us to keep in touch with each other. Haven't spoke to him in years, but last month, out of the blue, he gets a contact and it turns out he is visiting my city. We spent a day together and it was lovely. I never used to fancy him, but I definitely do now. Nothing happened that day, but I did learn that he was single. So am I. Since then we've been texting for a bit, just sort of small life updates.
Michael :
Now, since we live in different cities, I don't really see this going anywhere serious, but I'm interested in having some fun as a newly single individual. Since he's not really a close friend, I also see this as a fairly low risk. If it blows up in my face Slash, I've completely misread the situation, even though I say, hey, oh, I gotta save that answer for that. So even it's low risk, or I completely misread what's going on between the Texas in between the lines. How do I approach this? There are no plans for for him to visit my city and I had no need to be in his city. Do I just come out and say, hey, when we come by and then if he wants to come visit he will? What is your advice for bath antique I?
Destini:
Think she should reach out to him, be like hey, I had a really good time when you were in town.
Michael :
Mm-hmm.
Destini:
Wondering if you want to get together again.
Michael :
That's what you're referring to. I'm just asking is that what you're referring to? Yeah, so I. She wants some booty or cheese.
Destini:
But the cheese is in another city.
Michael :
Yeah, this is antique. It's some good cheese, good quality cheese quality cheese. I don't, I don't get where. People just don't talk, and then oh. Romantic feelings for you.
Destini:
Yeah, that's weird. That's why I didn't get either, because they've known each other for 10 plus years.
Michael :
Yeah, never, never suddenly in town.
Destini:
I wants to see you. Well, maybe, but if they didn't talk, how would he be interested? Maybe he just wanted some cheese too.
Michael :
Yeah, that's. The other thing is this is a cheese. Call hey, yeah, she's called. That's good, I'm gonna use that yeah.
Destini:
Monetize that.
Michael :
No, yeah, monetize that. Yeah, cheese called so um, I Think is she's just look for some cheese. That's all that's what I get from that.
Destini:
Yeah, that's all I, that's all we get. I mean they're gonna get any good advice with that.
Michael :
Well, that's true, but that's what they, that's what they listed.
Destini:
So I can ever before like I mean on the not like to him.
Michael :
Some dudes like that though on the reddit be like.
Destini:
I really just want a booty call.
Michael :
Now I'm out to spend more time editing. Now my boyfriend's 36 stood me up again. Female 32 People do this.
Michael :
I've been dating someone for a year or two and I have noticed the last few months. Every now and then he will say he's coming over and not show up. I can understand plans change or he could even have changed his mind about the things that bother me the most is the fact that Doesn't even message or call or say he can't make. He just won't show up or something the next day and I will get a apology and excuses such as he fell asleep on his phone or his phone died on the way so he couldn't let me know when he was here, or some other excuse. Last night again, it was due. He was due to come to visit me. He texted me and said he left home, and then text shortly after saying he was going to collect something from one of his friends on their way To me. No problem. However, an hour later he still didn't show up. Today he hasn't called or messes to apologize or even explain why he didn't show up, which I can imagine.
Michael :
The reasons. That was that he got caught up with his friends house and decided he was spending the evening catching up with him, but I'm really annoyed about the lack of communication and, honestly, I feel quite disrespected. Haven't spoke to him yet, but I will mention this to him when he does call, but I'm curious to know other thoughts. Am I overreacting or is he wrong? I'm personally, I'm over it personally and this is and this has happened several times in the last few months. Nobody has ever done this to me before but him, and I feel like this is a deal-breaking. When I speak to him, it will be to tell him we're over. Am I being too Harsh?
Destini:
nope.
Michael :
Nope.
Destini:
He's 36 years old. You are a grown man, yep. Use your words. Yep your phone died, whatever you have a charger in your car. I don't believe that crap. Yeah, I think phone died.
Michael :
Yeah, and I think, even if your phone was close to being low, we're all like phone paranoid. We're like where's my phone with my phone? Yeah, yeah.
Destini:
So if you don't have your charge, you be like hey, my phone's about to die.
Michael :
Yeah, I'm on my way though. Yeah, you know what I mean. My question is to you is he being faithful?
Destini:
Probably not probably not yep. It's been happening several times of the past few months. Yeah, he doesn't have a legit excuse for it. Right, I can understand every once in a while, but you guys are in a relation every once. Occasionally, like you got caught up with the at a friend's house and it got super late. But a simple text could fix a lot of things.
Michael :
Yep, you're right, You're definitely yeah that's stupid like you're. That I said you're definitely.
Destini:
Nope, so she's done.
Michael :
She needs to be done because but see I, here's my thing about when, when I see these reddits and all that stuff is like she says, am I being too hard? So she's automatically questioning her Her own post, you know, I mean like she's not.
Destini:
Sure, he knows what she wants to do.
Michael :
What's that?
Destini:
She's one confirmation from someone else that she's not overreacting because, he's probably gonna tell her you're overreacting.
Michael :
That's not a big deal, that's an escape clause. Yeah, baby, you're overreacting.
Destini:
I Was just hanging out with my friend.
Michael :
Why you do, why you tripping. I was hanging out with my friend and then we started talking and you know Blah, blah, blah. So yeah, well, it takes two seconds to text you're right, you're absolutely right about that, and this would be nope. And this will be. This means last episode on the WDW, so that is, I don't even know what number I'm on on Reddit, on Reddit.
Michael :
No blog or read it on Reddit. I don't know anymore, but that's it, that's the Reddit on Reddit today, and I wanted to bring my wife in because those you know, oh. So here's the thing. Here's the little bonus thing every time I ask her to be on a podcast, she doesn't seem like excited, she's like sure.
Destini:
Like it's like like energy.
Michael :
But you should be like yeah. I'll be on your podcast was like sure.
Destini:
I'll be more energized next time. Yeah right, let's practice. Oh yeah, yeah, we're practicing right now.
Michael :
Yeah, okay.
Destini:
No, I'm not I don't know.
Michael :
I'm just trying to think, like, what would Something you'd want to talk about every week if you wanted to be a co-host under the BDW? I don't know. I think we spent too much time together, so we have the same. You didn't let me finish. She's giving me the eyes. Think now, yeah, you are. You're giving me the stink eye because, like again, we spend a lot of time together, duh, and it's like like we think alike. You know, I think we think alike.
Destini:
Yeah, so I don't know, I have to come up with some stuff.
Michael :
Yeah, I'm down for that. Let's go with. That being said, we'll bring this episode to an end. That was funny thing. Oh, thank you. I'm your host of the WD, where my name is Michael Gillespie, and this is destiny. All right guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll talk to you guys later. Peace out Boy Scout, peace you.
