Wisdom in Relationship Building for the Modern American

Unlock the secrets to forging friendships that defy the test of time and technology. Our latest episode journeys into the essence of true companionship, dissecting the complex web of relationships in the age of social media. We examine the biblical tale of Rehoboam, whose story serves as a poignant reminder of the value of heeding wise counsel over the opinions of contemporaries. With an eye on the youth of America, we discuss the lost art of face-to-face connection and the need for friendships that challenge and encourage us to grow, not just ones that offer affirmation.

This episode isn’t just about making friends; it’s about understanding the rich tapestry of life woven through our relationships. We've all heard that money can't buy happiness, but have you considered the enduring wealth found in the companionship of a true friend? We explore Muhammad Ali's perspective on the transience of material riches versus the lasting treasure of sincere human connections. Through the lens of fatherhood, manhood, and success, we reflect upon the profound role that friends and family play in our lives, and the incredible support system they provide in times of trial.

Wrap up your week with a preview of our brand new "Five Minute Fridays" segments, promising a swift burst of weekend inspiration. But before you set off, absorb the timeless advice from Proverbs on the art of camaraderie. We delve into the wisdom of choosing friends wisely, the power of constructive criticism, and the importance of laying down our lives for those we hold dear, just as Jesus did. It's an episode that will leave you contemplating the value of every relationship in your life and equip you with the knowledge to cultivate deeper and more meaningful connections.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Friends are one of the most important influences a person can have. The problem is, in a world full of social media, it is harder and harder to discern between a true friend and a phony friend. The Bible gives clear instructions for the kind of friends we should have and should be.

Speaker 2: 0:27

Welcome to the In America Podcast, where we love God, we love country and we love truth. On today's episode, we're going to be talking about friends and how they influence you in every aspect of your life. So what would be the problem of friends?

Speaker 1: 0:46

Well, I mean yeah, yeah, that's true. Well, I would say that in America today, especially with young people, oh, we have a lot of problems with friends. Even thinking about myself, we don't really know how to be friendly, we don't know how to have friends, and if we do have friends, they're not the right kind, I would say, and they influence us in the wrong direction.

Speaker 1: 1:12

And I think that. But just thinking about what I know from reading the Bible is that our friends shouldn't be our first influence. The Bible should be our first influence and because of that we should be seeking the wisdom of those who are older than us, if that makes sense. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have friends and you shouldn't listen to your friends. That just means that I mean, we're going to get into this later, but we're going to talk about Rehoboam, is it Rehoboam? Yes, it is Rehoboam.

Speaker 1: 1:41

It says right there on my notes that Rehoboam, when he took over the kingdom from Solomon, he asked Solomon's older wise advisors that Solomon had. And then he asked his friends and said, hey, friends, what do you think? And his friends gave him the bad idea and the wise older advisors gave him what he should have done, and so that's just a warning. Oh man, that reminds me of some other stuff, but anyways, that just reminds me of, like, who are we allowing to influence? And I, you know, influence a big thing right now social media influence and influencers and friends influencing, and Gen Z almost is kind of its own, like its own animal.

Speaker 2: 2:27

You know we're the ones out of the climate protests and stuff, right?

Speaker 2: 2:31

yeah, well, I also think that with this generation, we have the problem with just communication in general, because every we're always on our phones, we're always on some sort of device, whether that's, you know, computer, ipad, iphone. We're always on something. We're watching TV or we're distracted by something, instead of just turning everything off and talking to your family, talking to just people in general. And you know, often times when you go into Walmart or you go to some store, the older people will be there that talk to you. If that makes sense.

Speaker 2: 3:12

You know they're just checking up conversation and they're the older people, but yet they don't care, they just start talking and you're like, cool, sweet, let's talk, you know.

Speaker 1: 3:21

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 3:21

Whereas it's rare if you find a young person starting a conversation with each other.

Speaker 1: 3:26

It's like so you know it's like yeah, as far as it goes.

Speaker 2: 3:32

So, but we should actually probably make a podcast about that the distractions of society there you go.

Speaker 1: 3:41

title everything. Maybe we should do that in the next episode.

Speaker 2: 3:45

Anywho, Maybe we should. Another thing for now. See, I have great ideas.

Speaker 1: 3:50

I know you do, yeah, anyway, I never admit it.

Speaker 2: 3:53

but you do so. Anyways, friends, they are very important and especially it depends well, it depends on what kind of friends you have. You can get in the wrong crowd and friends are. They can either really hurt you or they can really help you, and really there's no middle ground, unless they're a fake friend, which they're not really your friend. So you know, you just got to be wise and be careful about who you're choosing as friends. And you know, with that, as Christians, we are to read the Bible and obviously from reading the Bible we understand what a friend is, and not all the times are friends going to tell you what you want to hear and they're not going to accept everything that you do.

Speaker 2: 4:45

And it's a good thing, it's necessary for growth and for a stronger relationship, you know. So at least your good friends that care about you are going to tell you hey, you probably shouldn't do that, or this is what I do, and you know, they're there for advice and they're there to encourage you and comfort you in Christ, and they shouldn't be necessarily looking out for themselves. They should be looking out for your betterment and for your growth, and so that's something that me and Jacob and you know a few other guys, that we have that kind of friendship and we have that kind of bond and it's. I enjoy it, it's, it's, it's wonderful, it's great, you know, just as smart. We had a Bible study and it was great. I, it was encouraging, you know. So get kind of friends, get friends that will encourage you and that will push you to do better and live a better life and seek God and just want a better situation for yourself, you know.

Speaker 1: 5:56

So, yeah, you keep going, but yeah, you have well you got frozen, so I don't know what you said all before. I don't know about that but oh, technology issues, people. I'll tell you what. Yeah, so basically you're on that first point right when we're talking about friends or a large influence and stuff. Yeah, that where we're at.

Speaker 2: 6:19

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 6:19

Okay, yes, well, I was, you know. I don't know you may have already said this, so if you did, we can cut it out. But just thinking about, I feel like, okay, feelings, facts, don't care about your feelings again, but in my experience, and just thinking about my generation, our generation is that we are very big into influences, whatever they are, and you know we like to listen to this person and not to that person, or listen to our friends and not to other people, and so you know like you said we need to be careful who our friends are and make sure we have the friends who are going to encourage us to do right.

Speaker 1: 7:00

And if you're, I would say I mean, because we're talking about being careful who your friends are be careful who you choose as friends. And if your friends are the ones that are encouraging you to do wrong or not to listen to your parents or, you know, maybe not to go to church or something like that, then those are the ones you need to get rid of. Because if you think on a bigger scale, if we're going to revive America and you're not doing what's right, then how are we supposed to have revival? And if you're not having friends who are going to help you do right and have revival and they're not having revival either, then better get your act together and either and find some that are going to help you do right.

Speaker 2: 7:41

I mean, I'm thinking you probably said something to that, yeah, something to that effect. But people thrive on what others think and, yes, yes, that could be very detrimental to yourself, and you know it's. It shouldn't matter what others think about you. I mean to an extent, yes, but it should not matter as long as you know you're doing what is right and what God would want you to do. It does not matter as long as you're doing right and as long as God is on your side.

Speaker 2: 8:17

That's all that matters, and a lot of times, that's that's how it's going to be. It's going to be you and God and everyone else on the other side, and you're going to get depressed and you're going to get lonely and it's going to be like this really stinks, but I know I'm doing right and I know God is happy and pleased with me and therefore it's their loss, not mine. Like it. You can be my friend and you know it's great, you know, or you can not be my friend and you're the one that's going to be losing, because I'm a great person.

Speaker 2: 8:53

You know, it's just, you know some statement, but it's funny, you know.

Speaker 1: 8:59

I keep saying you know a lot too, so yeah, you do, and especially on your shorts is like um you know, um you know yeah, I will. Hey, I'm trying, I am trying, you would recognize it now which is good Friendship right there, yep.

Speaker 2: 9:15

I'm a brutal friend Bonding, bonding people.

Speaker 1: 9:18

This is very important.

Speaker 2: 9:20

Anyways, this is might be completely random, but I do have a quote from Muhammad Ali actually, so there I'm going to read it Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought nor sold, but its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold, for gold is cold and lifeless, it can neither see nor hear, and in a time of trouble it is powerless to cheer. Gold has no ears to listen, no heart to understand. It cannot give you comfort or reach or reach out a helping hand. So when you ask God for a gift, be thankful if he sends not diamonds, pearls and riches, to the love of a real, true friend. You see, friends are very rare.

Speaker 2: 10:03

When I saw that quote, it really struck out to me. It's like, wow, that is good, right there. You know, it's not about what you can get or, you know, gold or wealth, like you're saying. It's simply about true friend that actually cares about you. And those are very, very rare to find. Right, just like he said, diamonds are rare, but friends are so rare, good ones.

Speaker 2: 10:33

Anyways, see, you can even talk about the prodigal son in the New Testament, where he asked his father to give him all this money and he goes and he spends it right to sleep.

Speaker 2: 10:48

I keep saying I'm thinking, I'm working on it, people, but they, their friends, come by and they all party it up. And then, after he has no money, everyone's gone, he has nowhere to go to, he has no help, he has nothing. And then he goes to the slums. He goes to the pig farm and he's like, hey, can I feed your pigs? And the guys like shirt. And so dude's going out and he's feeding pigs and then he actually has time to think because he's not distracted by all the other junk that he was, he's not drunk and high and he's come to yeah, he's come to reality and realization that, hey, I messed up big time and I need help. And he's come to a census and he's like, hey, what can I do to make this better? And you know, all his friends are gone, they don't care about him, they just wanted to party up and be happy.

Speaker 2: 11:41

Okay, but he's by himself and he's like, hey, I need to get myself in a better place. And so he goes back to his father and he's like I need help. And his father embraces him and he, you know, he takes care of him and he loves him. And it's a great picture of of our heavenly father and how he cares and loves for us, even though sometimes we will mess up, and you know it's destined to happen. We do mess up and we do fall, but as long as we realize that we failed and we ask God for help, he's going to give it to us. So yeah, there's that.

Speaker 2: 12:20

But I think, it was just a great, great quote.

Speaker 1: 12:24

Yeah, you're right, and it kind of reminds me that's a little bit of a tangent, so maybe we'll cut it out, I don't know. But because you're talking about riches, right, and how friendship is better than riches, and it reminds me of how we were talking about success of fathers and two episodes ago, and manhood, and how you know it's more important to have your family than to have riches. That's true, success is your relationships. So we could say, you know, bringing these two together is your success is not measured by how much money you have or your gold or your diamonds. It's by your, your relationships, your success with your relationship with God, with your wife, with your kids, with your friends.

Speaker 2: 13:07

You know those are the things that are going to last and that's going to matter and have an impact on the world, your money goes away Because you know, yeah, right, at the end of the day, we're all going to die and you can't take your money with you, but you can take a soul with you. You can influence someone to accept Christ as Savior. And it's not about living right and doing good and the same thing. It's about how you get to heaven. It's simply by asking God for forgiveness and then relying on him for that salvation, because he is the only way to get to heaven.

Speaker 2: 13:42

It's not by words, it's not by riches, it's not by anything that you can do. So there's that little, you know, bit of information for you. But where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so riches, they disappear. You look at Proverbs and it says riches, fly away. They have wings. It's not always going to be there, whereas you have a friend and he's you know he may not be, he's not going to be rich probably. I mean, you could, I guess, ask him for money if you needed it. But that's not the point. The point is he's going to be there and he's going to be the one that's you can always call. It doesn't matter what time of day, it doesn't matter what you're doing. He'll always pick up and he'll always be there for you, and that's way way more important than gold and whatever else you want in the world. As long as you have good, solid friends that actually care about you, you're set for life.

Speaker 1: 14:42

I was going to say you don't need anything else because if you, if you have friends like that, you're going to help each other out, whatever the situation is, and maybe you're both dirt poor, but you're going to figure out how to make it work. You know, I mean I think about us and you know our other buddies and we come into a lot of issues, you know, trying to do all this thing, or you know we're all in college and whatever, and there's not always an easy answer, but we always figure out how to make it work and we're always there for each other, whatever the situation.

Speaker 1: 15:14

You know and I think that's important is, you don't have to be rich, you just have to have friends who are going to do what they have to and stand by you whatever the situation. Help you figure it out. You know, because in America I feel like we have this very like, you know, they call it like the Sigma male or the Alpha male, you know, depending on what you're going for there. But very like it's all about me. I can do it and I can do this and I have to struggle through everything. And the fact of the matter is, I don't care how much you are, you can't, you're going to break.

Speaker 2: 15:48

Yeah. And you may not think you're going to break now, but you're going to break eventually.

Speaker 1: 15:53

And so you need those friends and you need those godly friends who are going to be the ones to help you when you're in the low spots and help you when you're in the high spots. Like I said, always be there, right? If you need a call, yeah Well. So you know, we've kind of talked about context, a little bit about ourselves already, but I'm just curious if you've had any like experiences with friends, good or bad, just kind of bring it more personal almost.

Speaker 2: 16:25

Yeah, well, to be honest with you, as most of you would know, I'm a missionary kid, so that right there speaks volumes. I didn't have much of any friends. Honestly, when I was younger which actually before before I came into college I might have had like two friends maybe, which was sad, but they were good. But I mean, there's people that, because you go around all these churches and you don't ever really get to know anybody, I was going to say people are friendly, you're there for a while Right, exactly, they're not like your actual friends.

Speaker 2: 17:16

So that was. I mean, it was great to see all these people and you'd come back and visit them every once in a while, but they, you know, they never were your friends and they never. There was just never that connection. But anyways, I did have one friend. His name was actually ah, speak English. His name was Joe actually.

Speaker 2: 17:39

So that was that was exciting, we both had the same name right out. But we, you know, we, we were pretty good friends. Now I mean, we're still friends, but we don't, we don't talk as much, we don't. You know, there's not much there, which I guess that's kind of both of our speak man, it's both of our faults and both of our problems. We haven't really reached out to each other, which whatever, but I mean, honestly, there hasn't really been much, yeah, as far as friends go. The other one was a missionary kid that we met probably like five years ago now. She's ridiculous, it seems like it was just yesterday, but man, time flies, yeah. But we've been, we've been really good friends for these few years. We've talked to each other and stuff, so that that's encouraging. But yeah, after, before I came to college, I really didn't have any friends just because we were on the field and it just there's. I'm not around really to make any friends, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 18:56

Right yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:58

But after I came to college, though, I made I'd like to think I made some pretty good friends there and they have always been there for me and they've always been an encouragement to me, and I really do appreciate that from every one of them. But yeah, I mean, that's basically my end of the stick.

Speaker 1: 19:19

Yeah, yeah. Well, for me, I mean I'm a quiet, homeschooled nerd, so you know I've had, I've never had like a lot of friends and I still don't. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 19:33

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:34

And you know, I have people that I'm friendly with and like I'll go hang out with if that makes sense, right? But what I would consider true friends, I've never had a lot, and what's weird is like they're seasons almost so, like when I was in middle school, you know I had these two guys that we'd go over to each other's house all the time and you know we were best buds. And then the older we got, we just kind of went our separate ways it wasn't because we were mad.

Speaker 2: 20:03

It's just you know he's doing his thing and I was doing mine, yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:08

You know that happens and that's not the end of the world. It's not like we hate each other. You know I could probably text them both right now and they'd be like, hey, what's up, dude, you know. But we're just not tight. And then, like my Like junior, senior years of high school, you know I hung out with people. It's not like I didn't have a soulful life, but I didn't really have anybody that was Close, no one I would have over to my house, if that makes sense. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 20:37

It was just kind of like me floating and I've always had this weird experience where I Can, if I don't know if you people listening have ever been in this situation, but like, if you're say you're working, like I've worked out a lot, I've worked at the Baylor Ranch a lot, or you know just, or Looking in your youth group or whatever, the situation is right and there's all the different groups. You know there's like the nerdy group and the homeschool group and the public school kids, and you know it's all the different, like stereotypes, right, they all kind of flock together. Well, I've always had the weird experience of being able to fit and hang out in each group and not be considered weird. You know what I mean and so, yeah, but I think for the people who are in that situation, you don't form a close friendship with any of them because you kind of relate to all of them and there's not.

Speaker 1: 21:24

I make it like One person or a group of people. That's like your tribe, you know. You just float around and Whatever. So then you know, like you, when I got to college, that's when I Formed friends like I've never had before. You know Friends that we can have Bible study with friends, we can pray with friends, we can, you know, build businesses with. Those kind of friends. I've never had that kind of friends before and it's kind of exciting. It's like wow, you know for me?

Speaker 1: 21:55

I don't need a lot of friends. I've got all I got right you know, I'm happy where I'm at. You know if you you don't need 20 friends who you're on only on a texting basis with. What you need is two or three, or you can call them whenever you want and they're gonna answer. That's the kind of friends you mean is the ones that are there, yeah, good.

Speaker 2: 22:16

Yeah, well, you see, that's oftentimes. You know how people, how people work, especially Especially kids. You know, like elementary kids or whatever, high school and everyone's. Oh, I have this many friends, I have what was like, okay, are they really your friends? They're just your friends because you hang out with them every day at school Because you have to you know? Yeah, you don't hang out because you want to. In a sense, you're just there and they're there, and well, we're friends now.

Speaker 1: 22:52

So it's not it's.

Speaker 2: 22:55

And people, they're all based each other off of how many friends you have, even as adults, are like, oh, I have this many friends, blah, blah, blah. It's like, okay, if you're, you know, in a flat, if you have a flat tire and you call one of them, are they gonna rush out and help you? Probably not, you know. Friendship should be based on how much you help each other, not what your status is or what you can get from each other or, yeah, get from each other by by using them. That's not how friendship works. Friendship should be based on how we can help each other grow. That is does what it should be based on, and there's not a lot of people out there like that.

Speaker 2: 23:44

So if you have a small friend group, you're in good company because you know it's gonna say don't worry about it, it's okay. You know right, because they're hard to find and you don't need a ton of friends. You don't need a ton of fake people around. You. Get rid of them. Actually there, they're no good for you. If they're just Sure, you can be friendly, but don't involve in, invite them into your life and Expect good things to happen. I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 1: 24:13

Yeah, we'll be careful as what your friends wisely.

Speaker 2: 24:17

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just with all those extra words.

Speaker 1: 24:19

Yeah, so podcast, hey, come on.

Speaker 2: 24:23

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:26

Yeah, yeah, and you know a lot of where our I guess you could say philosophy comes from. As far as friends go, comes from the Bible, because that's what we base our lives off of. And, murray, first thing that I have written down here on the outline is what I already talked about a little bit already, talking about Ray Abolam. I put down the whole passage. I don't think I'm gonna read it because it's a lot. But yeah, essentially what happens is Solomon dies. Who is the king before Ray Abolam? And Ray Abolam, who's on son, takes over, and the Israelites and Jeroboam. So Jeroboam is sort of the head of the spokesman for the rest of the Israelites comes to Ray Abolam and says hey, light in the taxes that your father put on us, because we can't take it much longer. And so he's like you know what? Give me three days to think about it. So what Ray Abolam does is he goes and talks to his father, solomon's Advisors, who are older and wiser, and they say do what the people want light in the load, they'll love you for it. And then he goes to his friends and he and they say, no, make it like ten, you know, way, way harder. Let me see if I can find the verses to see exactly what they say. Well, here's here, let me go here. We go first. Six.

Speaker 1: 25:41

And King Ray Abolam consulted with the old man that stood before Solomon, his father, while he lived, and said how do you advise that I may answer this people? And they speak unto him saying if thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and we'll serve them and answer them and speak good words to them, then they will be thy servants forever. But he first took the counsel of the old man which they had given him and called and and consulted with the young men that were grown up with him and which stood before him. And he said unto them what counsel give ye that we may answer this? People who have spoken to me saying make the yoke which thy father did put upon us lighter. And the young men that were grown up with him Spake unto him, saying thou thus shalt thou speak unto this. People that spake unto thee saying Thy father made our yoke heavy, but make thou it lighter unto us. Thus shout, thou, say unto them my little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins. And now, whereas my father did laid you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke my father hath chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.

Speaker 1: 26:42

And so his younger friends, who were young and dumb just like he was, said Ah, don't worry about those old men, make it 10 times worse. You know, make your little pinky as thick as the rest of your father was. You know, make it like beating them with scorpions. You know poison and it's just like Okay, number one who thinks that's a good idea.

Speaker 1: 27:04

But um, doesn't the effect that your friends can have on you? You know, and so you need to be careful who they are and you need to make sure that, sure, you may all be young and kind of dumb I mean, I know we are but that doesn't mean you have to be and you need to have friends for willing to go ask people older than them for wisdom as well. So, before they start telling you stuff, you know, have friends who are going to guide you in the right direction, not ones who are going to ignore the old men, because I bet you, those friends knew what the old men told them. And so, yeah, if your friends are going directly against what people older and wiser than you say, then you better be careful with them, because they're not going to lead you the right direction.

Speaker 2: 27:50

And here's also another thing that kind of just came up, I think is um, um, your, your friend group, it shouldn't be a gossip hub. Yeah, yeah, one friend tells you, you go and tell all your other friends and they tell everyone else. Look, if a friend takes you into confidence, you better keep that confidence, unless it's something that's illegal or something you know that's not. That shouldn't be. You know, um, but other than that, if he takes you into confidence, you better keep that. If you misuse that, forget, forget your friendship, why, why is that even? Are you even there? So that's just something that I Think should be said and needs to be acted upon.

Speaker 1: 28:42

Yeah, because.

Speaker 2: 28:45

Everyone wants to be in the loop and everyone wants to be in the know and I get it, everyone's nosy. Okay, well, keep that information to yourself, because he has trusted you with that information and and he wants you to keep it where no one else can hear it. And If you can keep that, then He'll know that you're a good friend and he'll know that, hey, I can keep this guy around and we can actually have a good relationship and a good friendship together. And. But I cannot stand people that that will straight up lie to your face and say, oh yeah, I'll do this and then two seconds later, right behind your back, I like oh, you know what I heard Like dude, shut up, quit being a turd. The dude has trusted you. Now give him some respect and Listen to what he has to say. Or, you know, just respect the guy. It's a two-way street.

Speaker 1: 29:46

I gotta do with shut your mouth.

Speaker 2: 29:48

I know sometimes it's difficult and Sometimes it can be juicy, but it's not your Information to tell yeah, so it's just random rain, but I think it's necessary. Yeah yeah, I think you're right, especially with all the technology we have. Now it can. It can so easy.

Speaker 1: 30:12

It's carry, oh man but yeah you yeah, another thing this is one that I haven't written down here, but there's a story I probably should have looked it up before this, but I didn't because I forgot about it when I was making the outline but About Amnon, who is David's son somehow, and how he he forced his sister, and the reason that he did it is because of His friend. You know, he did wrong because of the impact and the advice, going off of Ray abome again, that his friend gave him. You know, and I don't know what possessed his friend that give him that information and tell him to go do that. But Be careful who your friends are, because they're gonna influence you to do things that could potentially change your whole life for better or for worse, you know, and in that case that was definitely for worse. And yeah, I mean that's all I can say there.

Speaker 2: 31:22

It's in second Samuel, chapter 13, verse 3. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonah dad. Aha, mm-hmm. Okay, that's a yeah, it's a good passage right there. So, amnon, I Think he did want to do right and he did want to Do it the right way, but he asked his friend Jonah dad, who Wasn't the best friend, it wasn't good guy at all.

Speaker 1: 31:55

It says he's a very subtle man Later on in the passage.

Speaker 2: 31:59

I think so so Jonah dad influenced Amnon to force his sister and you look at that, you're like why in the world he listened to someone like that? Well, because he thought Amnon thought that Jonah dad was a good friend and he was close enough to each other that like, hey, this is a good idea, why not, you know?

Speaker 1: 32:25

and that just if you have a friend, if you have a question about whether something's right or not, and your friend is, like I mean, number one, if you have a question, you probably shouldn't do it. And then if you have a friend, like yeah, sure, do whatever you want.

Speaker 1: 32:41

That's not the right kind of friend. You want a friend who's gonna be like well, let's think about this for a minute, you know, and be wise about it. Proverbs 17 17 a friend, love it at all times and a brother is born for adversity. So that's coming. That Talks about what we've been talking about this whole time. Basically is you know, a brother, a true friend, a true brother is gonna be the one that Loves you all time and is gonna be there to take it in. You know, that's what we've talked to. You read that again yeah, a friend, love it at all times and a brother is born for adversity.

Speaker 2: 33:17

Hmm, okay, yeah, yeah. So a friend, he's gonna be there. But if you know you have a brother or you have a friend, the second thing, your brother, he's gonna be there Even more so he's, he's blood, he's related to you in a sense. You know and see, I've, I've always, I have an older brother and have younger brother, and the three of us are Mmm, we are amazing together. It's just I, I just love it. The, the, I guess the fellowship, the communication, the, the friendship, the camaraderie, is it just on point, it's so, yeah, awesome, I love it. I couldn't ask for better brothers. But you know, it's just what that verse says friends, they're good and they're great. And you know, I do consider some of my friends as brothers, but your actual brothers are, are there for you and they will always be there for you. And it just, mmm, I love it because that verse it just, it's so true, but I don't know, everyone has actual, I don't have any brothers, you know.

Speaker 1: 34:40

I think that's where the parallel can be drawn is that a true friend can become like a brother. You know, when it comes to adversity and that's when you're gonna prove whether your friend is really a friend or not Is when you're going through a hard time where they're going yeah, well, it's yeah.

Speaker 2: 34:55

When you treat each other as a brother, that's where it's at you. You get to that state really hey, you're my brother, I'm gonna take care of you, whatever it takes. You know, it doesn't matter, you may not actually be my brother, but you're my brother because I say so. You know, yeah, it's just that, hey, I got you, you got me. This is how we roll, yeah and that's kind of that's a little bit of a tangent.

Speaker 1: 35:22

Yeah, yeah, a little bit of a tangent here, but Go ahead, you know, going with that when you think about those kind of friends, the friends that can become like your brother, and You're gonna stick with them through thick and thin. That's a decision, not a feeling, you know right.

Speaker 2: 35:39

Oh yeah, because you're not always gonna feel like being there, yeah right. Well, that's true with anything. You have to choose whether you want to do it or not. It doesn't matter about your feelings. Your feelings change every second second, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1: 35:54

I mean, I would say Let your feelings will like. You have to do right and your feelings will follow. You can't follow your feelings and then do right afterwards, because that's never gonna work. So in this case, you know, deciding to I mean, I would this even applies to marriage. Talking about what we talked about In our last couple up in our last episode ago, whatever it was, yeah, um Is it's a decision to love the person and just stick by that person. It doesn't matter how you feel on a certain day. You do right, right and do what God wants, and your feelings will follow. I Think that's kind of that's what it boils down to.

Speaker 2: 36:35

Pretty much you, yeah, you have to choose to do right and you have to choose that person to actually care about, whether that's a friend or brother, a Wife, a girlfriend or whatever it is. You have to choose and, yeah, feelings don't matter essentially, yep.

Speaker 1: 36:55

I mean nice when they match but not always. Yeah, I.

Speaker 2: 37:01

Love times. They're not accurate.

Speaker 1: 37:03

Oh yeah, that's why I had to do right first.

Speaker 2: 37:10

Yep.

Speaker 1: 37:11

Because God's word doesn't change. You do so. Anyways and then this next verse. Let's see. Well, yeah, we could read this one, proverbs 17, verse 18, which is the one right after the one we just read. It says a man, of a man void of understanding, strike at hands, it becomes surety in the presence of his friend. Or there's another verse that talks about Don't become surety for your friend, because that'll ruin your relationship when one side of the other fails you know, and that's just like If a friend is always trying to mooch off of you, then that may not be the right kind of friend.

Speaker 1: 37:51

That's what I would say there. Yeah, you know you need to help each other out, but if he's in it just for what he can get out of you, then that's the wrong kind of friend. Yeah, and then Proverbs 18, 24 says a man that hath friends must show himself friendly. And there is a friend that stick it closer than a brother, and that refers to Jesus himself. We'll get into that a little bit later. But a man that hath friends must show himself friendly. I mean, this is hard for me because I'm not very good at it, but you know, if you want true friends and true good friends, then you're gonna have to be a true good friend too, you know.

Speaker 1: 38:28

And if you're a jerk to everybody, then you're never gonna have any friends. You wake up lonely one day. It's your own fault. That's what I would say Yep, I so. Anyways, anything to add to that, or should we just keep on rolling? I Think it's about got it All right. Cool, let's see Proverbs 22, 11. He that love with pureness of heart. For the grace of those lips, the king shall be his friend. I Don't know, we could talk about that, I guess, but you might skip that one.

Speaker 2: 38:57

But yeah, well. It even talks about just doing right. Pureness of lips, you're speaking, truth, you're speaking, you're doing right. And therefore the king's like hey, this dude, he doesn't care. You know, whatever everyone else thinks, he cares about doing right. And so therefore, I'm gonna be his friend, because he's got my best interest and I've got his best interests. So let's be friends. Yep, I'll throw the route.

Speaker 1: 39:25

Proverbs 27, 6 says Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. You've already talked about this a little bit too, but it's a good one. You know, your friend's gonna tell you hey, there's a booger hanging out of your nose, or hey? You know, you're having a hard time in this area. You need to get your act together. But an enemy will be like oh he's the most wonderful person in the world, mm-hmm. And then turn around stab you in the back.

Speaker 2: 39:51

Yeah, well, we feel like it when the verse says it says the wounds of a friend.

Speaker 2: 39:57

He's gonna say some things that are gonna hurt and that'll you know it's gonna. It's not gonna be nice, it's gonna be like, hey, you know, this is, this is the facts and this is what you need to do. And not all the times it's gonna be all nice and pretty and sweet, but he's gonna be. He's your true friend because he cares about you and he cares for your betterment, rather than someone that Secretly whispers sweet nothings. It's like oh yeah, you're fine, nobody. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2: 40:25

Like no, the one that actually cares for you is the one that's gonna hurt you. It's kind of like a love of a parent or a father or mother. There, they care for you. Therefore, they're going to correct you and they're going to hey, this is what you need to get your act together. You know it's not just oh, you can do what you want, because I'm a good parent that lets their kid Do whatever he wants because he feels like it. No, screw that. You don't have the responsibility to be their friend. You have the responsibility to be their parent.

Speaker 2: 41:03

Because, well, I think what you're trying to say is is you should?

Speaker 1: 41:06

be their parent first. That doesn't mean you can't be a friend but you got to be a friend.

Speaker 1: 41:13

Second, I Think there's something to that effect. Yeah, I was just listening to a podcast with Matt Walsh the other day on the ice coffee hour with Graham, stephan and Jack whatever his name is, but uh, and Matt Walsh is Catholic, but he was saying that there's difference between the parents who are parents and then the parents who are their child's friend. You have to be your child's parent. Yeah, that doesn't mean you can't be friendly. That doesn't mean you can't hang out with your kid and have a good time. That just means you have to correct your child and help them go that the way that they should, and that's how you be a true friend. Anyway, if you're a true friend, you're gonna be a real parent.

Speaker 2: 41:56

Yeah, well, if you look it, even if you look at you go to Walmart. You know to keep bringing up Walmart, I don't know why Walmart, but Anyways, you go to Walmart and you just look at people. You look at how their kids stress, you look at how they dress, you look at you. Basically you're observant, you. You look at people and you kind of Search them out in a way that right there tells you a lot about them. And you look at their attitude and you look at.

Speaker 2: 42:25

It's like come on people, when your kid back talks to you and he throws a tantrum because he doesn't get what he wants Not all the time is this the case, but the majority of the time it is the case you are failing as a parent because when, when your, your kids should know that when you say something, they, you mean it. There's no messing around. You better act on it, or else you know what's coming. It shouldn't be. Oh, do this, because I really want you to do it and Everyone's watching me. So please, bobby, just listen to me. No, shut up, take the kid to the bathroom and do what you have to do. Enough of this nonsense of oh, we're just gonna talk to woman, you're gonna go to your corner and time out. Enough, enough I it. It noise the fire out of me Like the kid is not going to learn anything from sitting in the corner. Come on, people.

Speaker 1: 43:37

You're just gonna make a matter. You're provoking your child to rat what that? That's what I yeah, it's yeah. Okay, let's change another subject for another time, hey all right, moving on for that, but hey, you know what we're starting? A whole thing about getting canceled. So yeah, I know, but Not this early.

Speaker 1: 44:09

Let's see proverbs 27 9 ointment and perfume. Rejoice the heart, so death the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel See there's counsel again, but keeps coming up is a friend that who's just gonna give the right counsel and be wise. You want wise friends.

Speaker 2: 44:25

Cuz. Yeah, oftentimes it's what friends are, for they, you're there for counsel, you're there for like, hey, what can I do? At least that's what friends should be there for is Friendship for counsel? For hey, there's this situation, what should I do? What would you do? Kind of thing. You just talk it out, work it out, and, and If they're a good friend, they'll say hey, this is my opinion. I would ask you know Someone else, that's your pastor, you know something? Someone, someone older and wiser, older and that has More experience? Yeah, but oftentimes, though, there, most of time, their information is pretty, pretty accurate.

Speaker 1: 45:07

Let's see Uh Proverbs 27, verse 10. Then, own friend and thy father's friend, forsake not either. Go into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity, for better, as a neighbor that is near than a brother far off. Okay, wait. Then own friend and my father's friend, forsake not.

Speaker 2: 45:25

You're friend and your dad's friend. Don't forget him, because they're important. Okay, cuz your dad's friend is he's older, like your dad, so therefore he has wisdom, whereas your friend. He is your friend, but he's not, as he still provides Adequate information from a different perspective as well. And then continue.

Speaker 1: 45:49

With that verse.

Speaker 2: 45:51

Yeah, okay, it says neither go into thy brother's house.

Speaker 1: 45:54

Take blah, blah, blah oh, I know one friend and my father's friend forsake not either go into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity. For better, as a neighbor that is near than a brother far off.

Speaker 2: 46:08

Okay. So that's saying it's better if you're in like a sticky situation, it's better to call for a friend that's nearby, then a brother that's.

Speaker 1: 46:21

You don't have a close few hours away, you know yeah right?

Speaker 2: 46:24

well, no, not necessarily.

Speaker 2: 46:26

It's just, it's more logical to ask for a friend that's right by, that's more, that's a neighbor, you know he's, he's right there, he can help you, instead of asking someone that's you know, 10 hours away, 12 hours away, however many hours away, it just more logicals like hey, I'm gonna pickle, can you help me out real quick, whereas your friend or your brother would love to help you. I mean, he's there for you, but it's. It's better to have friends that are close, by which this could also be talking about A father and a son, because back then, when you got married, basically you had your father's house and then, when you got married, you would build a room Just add on to that house. It's just a room, so technically he'd be your neighbor.

Speaker 2: 47:13

So that might be, what it, yeah, you know it's talking about but you know just someone that's close by, someone that's a neighbor you know, and brother than whatever, but yeah there's that, you know, I think too.

Speaker 1: 47:26

I Mean I don't know if this is exactly what it's saying, but it's an idea at least is that? Um, I know one friend and my father's friend for psych, not, you know talking about your father's friend. I think that we whether this is what it's saying or not, it applies is that sort of sort of like a build your network thing, but don't like burn down a bridge or relationship just because someone's your father's friend or older than you. You know, those people are wiser than you and smarter than you, and so you need to have the kind of relationship, because they're your father's friend, where you can go to them and they can help.

Speaker 1: 48:08

Yeah, it could be, something you could get out of that too. It's just, it's part of being friendly too, having friends.

Speaker 2: 48:19

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 48:20

Yeah, just because they're different, so to speak, doesn't mean you can't be friends with them. But anyway, proverbs 2717 says iron is sharpened if iron, so a man, sharpeneth the countenance of his friend, and this and this is basically what we've been talking about the whole time is that well? I mean not really, but this is what it boils down to is a good friend is going to, is going to help you grow, you're going to help each other grow. It's iron and sharpening iron One iron thing, I guess, another iron thing. They're both going to get sharper and it's kind of like the wounds of a friend are better than the sweet nothings of an enemy.

Speaker 1: 48:58

You know they may not feel good getting rubbed against. That's what you need is getting rubbed against with a friend, someone who actually cares about you and you're going to help each other grow together. Let's see, this is another we've talked about this a little bit too but a forward man. So with strife and a whisperer separated the chief friends. So that's to your point of you know talking about other people behind their back. And if someone trusts you with information, don't be that whisperer, because the whisperer can divide even the greatest of friends. You know, and you don't want that to be your fault, not on you You'll be the kind of friend you're supposed to be.

Speaker 1: 49:35

John 15, 13 says greater love hath no man than this.

Speaker 1: 49:39

That a man lay down his life for his friends and I mean, before we dive too deep into that for the Christian Jesus is the ultimate example of what a true friend should be, and he carried this out himself. I mean, he laid down his life for his friends, and not just for his disciples, but for the entire world, past, present and future for us. You know that's what he did. He loved us so much that he laid down his life, and so you know, emulating that, the greatest love that we can have is that we're willing to lay down our life for our friends. You know, whether that's you and me, or whoever we marry, or our children, that is the kind of love. If you have a true friend, that's the kind of love he's going to have for you, and that's the kind of love you should have for him is that you'd be willing to die for each other. Love for each other, but to die for each other. John 1514 says you are my friends if you do what's whoever I command you, which is interesting.

Speaker 2: 50:42

Love your neighbor as yourself. If you just look at the whole Bible things that he said show yourself friendly to have friends. There's a whole bunch of verses so you could use any of those as far as what the Lord has commanded us to do. But the context, what? Where is?

Speaker 1: 51:10

that verse. Before that it's John 1513 says greater love hath no man this that a man lay down his life for his friends. You're my friends. If you do whatsoever, I command you. And of course he's talking to his disciples there. I mean you could say that I mean because in the context he's talking specifically to the disciples.

Speaker 1: 51:34

But the Lord does desire for everyone to be saved and to come to a saving knowledge of him. And whether or not you could define that as a commandment necessarily doesn't say thou shall be saved, necessarily, like it says, thou shall not murder. But his command to us is to go share that news of the gospel with others. And you know, if we're doing what's right, then that's what we're going to do and we're going to be showing the love that he showed us to others, because we don't want to see others perish.

Speaker 1: 52:09

Even the next verse after that, let's see what that says Henceforth, I call you not servants, for the servant knoweth not what his Lord doeth, but I have called you friends for all things that I have heard of my father I have made known unto you. That is an interesting thing is that the Lord was open with these people. He trusted them. And just on a practical level. I mean, there's other things we can say here that we probably will, but the true friends you should be able to trust with things you know, does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 52:39

Because I mean he for sure he said all things that I've heard of my father I've made known unto you. I mean, that's a lot of stuff and it's a lot of information you know and so if you have true friends, you should be able to tell them things and be able to trust them with it.

Speaker 2: 52:55

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 52:56

Let's see. And then Matthew 1119 says the son of man came eating and drinking and they say behold, a man, gluttonous and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is justified over children, I mean. I would say there. I mean, it's talking about how Jesus, you know Jesus had the option to hang out with the Pharisees and the upheavies, but instead he chose to hang out with the sinners. And that's kind of talking to something we were talking about in our Bible study earlier today. Um, as judgment, now you need to be careful who your friends are, but you need to be friendly to everyone, because how are you supposed to witness to a person if you're like, oh, I don't hang out with you because you're this?

Speaker 1: 53:37

or that or whatever. I mean, what kind of a witness is that Jesus hung out with the worst or the worst? Anyways, that's all I have as far as that goes. Well, even.

Speaker 2: 53:48

He knew that the Pharisees and all the other people were stuck up and they wouldn't even consider themselves as friends. He knew that, the publicans and the sinners, they were desperate and they needed a savior and therefore he's like, hey, I am a friend to you, and so you know they would latch onto him and like, hey, we're friends in a sense. You know he knew that because they, they, they needed someone and Jesus was there for them and he's there for all of us. Like I mentioned earlier, he, he died on the cross and he no greater love with them in the days that he laid down with life for a friend. And Jesus Christ has laid down his life and he is invited to all of us to be his friend. Um, you know it's, he speaks for itself, the Lord himself, as a friend, and we can always go to him. Um, just yeah, he's, he is the ultimate example, um, especially, you know, for Christians, for for everybody really unbelievers, yeah, and it's, I guess it's kind of like a progress, um, which is true for friendship.

Speaker 2: 55:08

First you have to meet each other and then you have to kind of get to know each other and then a bond starts to form and then you actually start becoming true friends and there's that fellowship and connection which is true with, I guess, the Christian life, because you first have to meet Christ and then Christ meets you with salvation and you become a believer and then you continue to grow and you have a relationship and a friendship with God, um, because you can go to him anytime. You could always pray and ask for help and for wisdom. And so I think, you know, I think it's pretty good in comparison, um, you know. So, yeah, christ is a friend. God is a friend, um, whether you're saved or not, but he encourages you to be saved and to get saved.

Speaker 1: 55:56

But he's not going to force you to that's, that's his friendship.

Speaker 1: 56:01

Right yeah, his gift to us you know, because we're sinners and we can't we can't, pay for our sin and God is righteous, so he must judge it and we must suffer eternal punishment and hell for it. But that's why he sent his son. He was a friend to us, you know he, he was willing to give of himself and give his life for us and he died for us and it was buried in Rose again the third day. I just want to encourage people out there, just before we go, that if you haven't accepted his free gift and free gift of salvation, then do it today. You know, and, yeah, there's no better Time than now. Now is the time, today is the day of salvation and accept God's gift, become God's friend, let him become your friend and he's going to lead you in the way.

Speaker 1: 56:48

You should go and show you the friends that you're supposed to have and help build our country back together. And that's what we want to see is. Well, we want to see a lot of things, but see people save, saved, have revival, see our country built back together. Oh, uh, probably, before we go, we should tell people about five minute Fridays, real quick, um, as of the Friday, so this episode will hopefully release either Wednesday or Thursday of this week Today is the 10th, but then this Friday coming, which is the 12th, our first five minute Friday will come out and that's just a quick hit on a hot topic or a little encouragement from the Bible for you, just to be real quick and hopefully be an encouragement or entertaining, and we hope you enjoy those and we'll see people later. Thank you for listening to young America. If you enjoyed the show, please consider sharing it with a friend and if you want to see more content from us, please check the links in the description below and consider supporting the show and bus America.