Practicing Courage #36: Finding the courage to be real

After work one evening I met a friend who has been navigating big questions about their career and what’s next.

We sat outside and they shared some of their story.

A close friend of theirs, whom they care about and deeply respect

Had called them up 

And offered advice about what to do.

While well intended it completely missed the mark. 

My friend left feeling much worse than they had before. 

Wishing that the advice had never been given. 

Wishing that their friend had been aware that the advice they were giving, while well intended, was really more about their own discomfort with the situation, then truly about helping. 

Have you had this experience? 

Either being on the receiving end? 

Or the giving end of well intended advice that completely misses?

It’s such a common experience as humans. 

When we care, 

when people matter to us, 

there can be a whole host of emotions and desires that arise in these types of moments. 

• A desire to fix
• To solve
• To save
• To advise
• To please

Sometimes these are born out of fear

Sometimes they are born from our lived experience (well this is how I did it so it should work for them).

Or (well this happened to me, so I want to make sure it doesn’t happen to them). 

These are various Expressions of the ego.

Expressions that we can only see when we pay attention closely, when we bring mindful awareness to our inner life in these moments.

Without awareness it’s all too easy to fall into a trap of offering unwanted advice.

Today’s episode will offer ways to not fall into the trap nearly as often

As you are invited into the practice of being real

A practice that can help deepen relationships and foster more meaningful connection in our lives.

Today's episode was in part inspired by a recent Courageous Life conversation with renowned therapist Dr. Jacob Ham.

Curious to explore this topic further? Check out the full conversation with Dr. Ham:

• The Art of Meeting Life with Curiosity, Presence, and Love | Dr. Jacob Ham

Thank you for your practice today.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

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