44. Thriving Through Menopause: A Guide to Empowerment and Wellness with Adrien Cotton

Ever found yourself mopping up night sweats or shedding tears over an empty milk carton? Menopause can be a baffling journey, with symptoms that hit us out of left field. That's why I invited Adrien Cotton, a menopause wellness coach, to join us on the Burnt Pancakes podcast. Together, we unravel the mysteries of perimenopause and menopause, navigating the signal flares our bodies send us as we transition. As someone who jumped into motherhood at 40, Adrien doesn't just talk the talk; she walks it, offering nuggets of wisdom for managing this natural, albeit perplexing, phase of life.

Facing the perimenopause gauntlet can feel like an uphill battle, with symptoms that disrupt our daily grind and test our resilience. I get real with you about the struggles and victories I've faced as a mom of twins, while juggling a fitness studio. We're not just talking hot flashes; we dive into the impact on weight, mood, and sleep, and how little tweaks in our fitness and diet can make a colossal difference. Adrien also equips us with practical strategies for mental fortitude and the importance of finding knowledgeable medical support.

As we wrap up our heart-to-heart, we celebrate the tales of women who've taken the reins of their wellness journeys. Hear about the evolution of Fitness on the Run, a hub for women over 40, where the camaraderie flourishes and the cognitive benefits of aging shine. By the end of our chat, you'll be brimming with actionable steps to not just survive menopause, but to rock it. So, let's turn up the volume on these life changes, because, like Adrien and I, you're not just meant to endure this stage—you're meant to thrive.

Email: adrien@adriencotton.com

You can find Adrien on Instagram at @adrienmcotton and on Facebook at Adrien Cotton.

For more information on her Concierge Small Group Wellness Program and Master Menopause NOW visit adriencotton.com

And for listeners of Burnt Pancakes, we have a special 25% off code for Adrien’s online course. Just type in BURNTPANCAKES25 at checkout.

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Transcript

00:10 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of the Burnt Pancakes podcast. I am your host, katie Fenske, and today's conversation is all about the dreaded M word, not motherhood. We're talking menopause Now. With so many women having kids later in life, menopause tends to come right on the heels of parenthood. As a mom who had her last at 39, this is a topic that's starting to come up in my circle of friends and I'm starting to notice some body changes and I wasn't quite aware that these could be signs of early menopause or what I've learned is perimenopause. So today I'm having on an expert. 

00:55
I'm having on Adrienne Cotton. She is a mother of teenager twins. She's a woman's wellness expert and the creator of master menopause now. Now she's going to sit down and answer all of the questions I have about perimenopause and menopause Because, let's face it, the only thing I really know about it is from when my mom and my aunts were talking about in the background years ago, and that's about it. So it's really such a great conversation to have. 

01:28
I was really honored to have her on because I think she sheds light on why this is happening in our bodies, why these changes are taking place, the science behind the symptoms that we're experiencing, what exactly is perimenopause and how long it lasts, and when does it start happening all these things that I didn't know about. I also love that she's shifting the mindset into this dreaded phase that we're going to go through of shriveling up and drying out and something that we have to dread and changing it into this new stage that we're going through, and she's giving us five very doable tips on how we can navigate this phase and maybe the lessen some of these symptoms that we're feeling. So, whether you are a new mom, whether you are kind of in the stage I am or older, this is a conversation that definitely needs to be brought up amongst women, and I am so honored to bring you this conversation, so please stay tuned for my chat with Adrienne. All right, adrienne, welcome to the podcast. 

02:37 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Thank you, Katie. Nice to see you and be here with you. 

02:40 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I know this. I can already tell this is going to be a great conversation just the few minutes we've been chatting so far. So why don't you start by introducing yourself? We know you're a mom, so tell us a little bit about your kids and what you do. 

02:55 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
I get choked up every time I talk about my kids, and this is partly menopause, ladies beware. It's partly because you do cry a lot and there are reasons for that. But again, I'm Adrienne Cotton, I'm a perimenopause and menopause wellness coach and expert, and I have twin 16 year olds. I had them, I was 40. Okay, so I know you said your last was 39 and I was 40. Yes, and boy girl a girl, a William, was two minutes before Rachel and they're amazing and awesome and, as you know, it's the best job ever. 

03:34 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yes, they really are the hardest thing I'll ever do, but like not change it for the world so amazing. Yeah, so teenage life like they're going through a lot of changes, but you're also going through a lot of changes. 

03:48 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yes, there's a lot of research on that too, about a mom who is going through perimenopause or menopause, and a daughter and puberty. There's a lot of literature, fascinating, yes. So being in a household like that is a fun. Is can be quite a challenge, but if you have your tools that I will teach you today, you'll be in better shape. 

04:08 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I like it. We can describe it as fun. Yes, why I was super excited to talk to you today was when, like, I remember hearing about menopause. But you know, my mom and my aunts would kind of like throw out jokes about it. But other than that, I don't know anything other than like the dreaded menopause. But it's something that's going to happen to all of us and maybe we can go about it in a way that we're not dreading it. But it's kind of a new phase, a new transition, and I hope you can give us tools on how to minimize the symptoms that people always complain about. 

04:41 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
I sure can yeah. 

04:43 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, so let's just. I'm going to go through the basics, because what I said to you earlier is I don't know hardly anything, but you know, I am one of the moms that had kids later. So right after a parenthood, all of a sudden menopause is like knocking on your door and you're like I still have little kids. What's happening here? But it's starting to come up in my circle of friends and people. I know things are being said and I'm like this is something that I think I need to learn more about. Yes, I've heard of perimenopause and menopause. What's the difference? 

05:18 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Well, perimenopause is the transition for women, when you are transitioning to the phase of life where reproduction ends, when you are no longer able to conceive a child. Okay, so peri is before. 

05:34 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, so menopause is just the stage when you're not ovulating anymore. 

05:40 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
You no longer are. Yeah, you're not ovulating anymore and you haven't had this is the most important thing you're going to hear today about menopause and you have to have gone 12 consecutive months without a period. 

05:54 - Katie Fenske (Host)
You are officially in menopause. So when people are talking about menopause, they're probably talking more about perimenopause. 

06:03 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
All the women you are if they're around your age group, they are likely in perimenopause and I know that you said that at year 39 and you have toddlers. 

06:12 - Katie Fenske (Host)
you are probably in it, and don't even 33 now, so don't even know it, right. So, yes, I wanted to know like at what age? I'm sure it varies greatly by women, but at what age can you start to maybe experience these symptoms? 

06:30 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
You can be as early in your 30s. It's rare. It's less than 10% of women are in the 30s. 

06:36 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, In your early 40s. 

06:38 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
So the average age of menopause when you have completed your full 12 months without a period is 51. 

06:46 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh interesting. 

06:47 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Okay, okay, that's the average. 

06:49 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, there's a lot of you know, there's a lot above and a lot below, so you could have like a month where you have a period and then three months and then have one and you're technically comfortable. 

07:01 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Not only could you it's more likely. Okay, that's what happens. And for a lot of women when you're going through perimenopause because, I would like to add, perimenopause can be more challenging than menopause itself In large part because no one wants to talk about it. Our doctors don't know a lot about it. Yes, even our OBGYNs don't know a lot about it, and therefore there's this big hush hush mystery shame sentence when you start talking about it, and so we just don't talk about it. But a lot of times, and the symptoms can be pretty challenging, not fun, yeah, they can be not fun. However, if you know it's coming, like so many of your guests will, you'll have some signals and you'll have your tools, okay. And then in your early 40s, is perimenopause Okay. So this. 

07:49 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I think this is a myth, but I kind of wanted to tell you what I've heard. Yes, Women who are healthier or more fit will experience this later in life or have less symptoms. Is that true or false? False. 

08:03 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Okay, there are so many myths I like to call them conventional wisdoms around menopause, and that's that's one of them. 

08:11 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay. 

08:12 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Unfortunately. 

08:13 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, and a lot of times it makes me feel better, because I'm like, if I start experiencing this now, like, does that mean I'm like I eat terribly? It's like we're all going to go through it. 

08:24 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
You're going to go through it, and it can be. You can follow your mom's lead, but you also. It's possible that you don't. 

08:31 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, there's some genetics to it. 

08:34 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
There's some genetics to it and yet I know. I know women. I have friends whose moms experience menopause around the average age. I have a friend who's 58. And she has not finished her cycles. 

08:46 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yes, and when you get to that you are. 

08:48 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
You are really waiting for it because you still have your cycle and your cycle can be very irregular, right, and that does sound like. 

08:57 - Katie Fenske (Host)
The perk of going through menopause is then I don't have to read that anymore. 

09:01 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
You don't, you don't. 

09:03 - Katie Fenske (Host)
What are some things that we may be experiencing in perimenopause? Like what? Because I've heard night sweats. That's the big one that I've heard amongst people. 

09:14 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Night sweats and hot flashes, hot flashes, yeah. 

09:17 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So what are some? 

09:18 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
common ones. Yes, about 75% of them. So night sweats, hot sweats, hot sweat, night sweats and hot flashes are 75% of women experience them, one or both. I did, and eventually I'll tell my story. I had, I had them all Anxiety. 

09:32
So what is happening, particularly with women in perimenopause and even in menopause? We are caring for younger children, caring for children, Some of us are caring for a team at work and some of us are also and and and caring for elderly parents. So we have this heightened sense of anxiety and we think it might be because, goodness, we're busier than we've ever been, true. Yet the underlying foundation, physiologically, of our body is our body is starting to get stressed because it doesn't quite understand what's going on. It is used to our cycle, it is used to that monthly cycle and even if you still have it this is the hardest thing about perimenopause is, if you still have your cycle your brain is starting to slow it down. 

10:21
It is starting to slow things down. You may not even notice it, you may skip a period or two, and you know we've skipped a period or two, you know, in our teens and our 20s and our 30s, and so we don't think much of it. However, your brain is starting to wonder what is going on and the hard thing is that, evolutionarily, women are here to reproduce. Mother nature, evolutionarily, doesn't know what to do with us anymore. So our brain is really confused and anxious. So anxiety, yeah, night sweats and hot flashes, vaginal dryness vaginal dryness is very common. Itchy Intercourse is not fun and you start to wonder oh, you know, I'm just busy, I just don't feel up for it. And yet what's going on is your body really is drying up, so your skin dries. 

11:20 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, it's right up. 

11:21 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Your dries. You just come like this and you just go all the way down the chain. And that is estrogen. I apologize, that is estrogen decreasing. 

11:32 - Katie Fenske (Host)
See, I was going to ask if there was like a biological reason or, you know, physical reason for this happening. Your estrogen levels are changing. 

11:40 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Your estrogen levels are changing. Yes, they are decreasing, and often with perimenopause. The challenging thing is it's going like this, trying to figure it out, but it's like yeah, it's trying to figure it out. 

11:52 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, exactly. And then the last. It is amazing that our bodies know to do this. You know, like I my body's like you're done having children, let me transition you out of that. It's pretty. 

12:03 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Uh-huh, it's pretty amazing. 

12:06
Not the night sweats, but the body Well it is because, yeah, our temperature regulation in our brain is unable to regulate as well. That is why we get the hot flashes in the night sweats. Yeah, yeah, that's the motor part of our brain that regulates temperature. It is starting to decrease its ability to. Yes, so that's, it's all coming from our brain. This three pound Uh organ here in our head is responsible for all of this. And then the last is sleep disruption. So sleep disruption is incredibly common in women and perimenopause and menopause, because in the night sweats and hot flashes. But it's also because we sit up at night and we worry and we've got and works. But I heard in one of you are the podcast, the exposure to some light, to to this. Well, we're talking on the phones and the fluorescent lights. We're just not used to this. Allergies are more common. Anything histamine related, hair loss. There are 30 symptoms associated with perimenopause alone, but I just gave you the core four. 

13:14
Well, those first four I mentioned are the most important. 

13:17 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, weight gain on that list. 

13:20 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Absolutely. 

13:21 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Because you hit your. Everyone always said you hit your 40s and it's so much harder to lose weight, and now it is. Please tell me. There is a reason why this is. There is a reason why yes. 

13:32 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yes, and it does. Yes. Physiologically, your body wants to hold on. Again, it sends a stress, yeah, so think about it. When our bodies are in stress, they are holding on for survival, okay, and so it's not only we're challenging to lose weight, it's you're gaining it, yeah, and so we have to. Really, katie, we have to approach our bodies different. We have to approach our fitness differently our food, our sleep and our stress. 

14:03 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Because you told me or you wrote about your your own fitness journey or your own experience with perimenopause. Yes, you called it perimenopause. Let me say it again, harry Menopause, prison. I did and I was like, oh my gosh, I need her to explain that and tell us how to get out of it. Yes, what was it like for you? Because you you at that time, didn't really know all of this. 

14:30 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
I didn't know a thing, I had toddler twins. At that point in my life I owned a fitness, a fitness studio, a gym. We had about 200 clients coming in out the doors, I had 10 coaches, I had a business partner, we were busy and I had toddler twins and I had a traveling husband same husband now, bill. He was traveling a lot. Back then, wow, and I thought I was really I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't lose weight and I was a fitness instructor, a high level fitness instructor and all of my old tools were not working out. Working out more, more cardio was not working. Depriving myself of calories I've heard I'd heard Tara in your podcast earlier this year about depriving ourselves. I was doing all those things and my anxiety was so high and I wasn't sleeping and then you threw twin toddlers on that and I threw a twin toddler. 

15:26
Yes, exactly, I had a son who had night terrors. He was up walking and running around screaming yeah. So it was. It was a tough time, but I wouldn't be here talking to you if I hadn't gone through my journey. 

15:38 - Katie Fenske (Host)
God, I say that all the time about potty training. Had my first son been so easy to potty train? Yes, I never become a consultant and helped Pam. I would have just been like, oh it's easy, just get it done, right. 

15:50 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Just follow a book, yes, going through it, yes, and so I didn't know. And then I actually landed in the chair of an amazing menopause specialist. 

15:58 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay so, did you have to seek someone out or was like wait, okay, Tell me about that I had a lot of women are saying you know, I tell my doctor about this stuff, but they're like kind of dismissing me and not listening. So how do you find that doctor? What do you say to that doctor when you're like something's not feeling right? 

16:15 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Great question. So let me give you two statistics. Women were not required to be included in clinical trials until the year 1993. 

16:28 - Katie Fenske (Host)
For menopause or For anything. Whoa 93. 

16:34 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
93. So 93. I was in my late 20s. From the year 2014 to 2020, only 6% of clinical trials were conducted on women alone. Wow, so it's no surprise that doctors are really not very knowledgeable on women's health, even OBGYN, so that's an obvious place we would go. It's our OBGYN and it is possible that any of your listeners will have an amazing OBGYN who has a vast knowledge of perimenopause and menopause. It's also possible that they don't. Yes, and this is why there were other many studies conducted of OBGYN medical students who were not schooled in menopause at all. Wow, they felt very uncomfortable. 75% of medical student graduates did not feel comfortable. They felt comfortable of OBGYN medical school. Doctors were not comfortable speaking to women about menopause. 

17:45 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Wow. 

17:45 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
So what you do. 

17:47 - Katie Fenske (Host)
It does remind me a little bit of when you have a baby. You do your six week appointment and they're like you're cleared, you're good, but so many women are like. I've got pelvic floor issues that I would like address, but they don't get sent anywhere. 

18:00 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Help for that, right, right. So you get a variety of answers that are a lot of times, women are given an antidepressant. A lot of times women are told I was told you'll get over it, just get through it. Well, perimenopause can last up to 14 years. Oh goodness, I don't want to just so, just get through. It is really challenging, yeah, so what you want to do is you want to find a doctor who is a menopause specialist. Typically, they are also an OB-DYN and they go to additional school and there's a website that your listeners can go to menopauseorg, and that is where you can find local menopause specialists. 

18:43 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh interesting. Okay, I didn't even know that existed. 

18:46 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yes, yes, the menopause specialist. I tell every woman approaching her 40s find her or him now. 

18:53 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Got it. So when you go see a doctor like this, is there like specific tests they can run, or is it? Let's listen to your symptoms and we can kind of go from there. 

19:05 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
It's a little bit more of the latter, which is why I really enjoy that practice is they're going to listen to how you're feeling. A lot of times that doctor, he or she, will say I don't need to do labs, you are in the latter stages because of your symptoms. Some of them will ask for some labs and take a it's a blood test to see where your hormone levels are. 

19:27 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, that's how I was going to see it. Yeah, hormone related. 

19:31 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
It's hormone related. They'll check your FSH, They'll check your estrogen, They'll check. They might even feel check your thyroid, they're going to check those things. But they oftentimes will say yeah, we can do that, but I have a really good, because if they're menopause specialists, they know and there are a variety, but do you have a thyroid disorder? 

19:51 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Is that something that could like wreak havoc on menopause? Yes, yes, it can. Yeah, I mean, I've been dealing with this all my life. Why not? Yes? 

20:00 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Why not add to that? Exactly, yes, and do you have a good endocrinologist? Yes, someone I've been seeing for a while. 

20:07 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So, and that was something like when I was pregnant. I had to be very conscious of that. So I'm assuming I actually see him next month. I'm assuming, like you know, I might need to talk to him a little bit about how this is going to change as the yes, yeah, yeah, I'm one of your tools and one of your options, mm-hmm. 

20:23
Okay, so let's say we see one of these doctors, we find out yes, we're in peremenopause. What are some things we can do to like ease the symptoms, or is this something that we have to deal with? What are some things that can help with it? 

20:39 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
I'm a big believer in changing your mindset about your health and wellness. At this point, I really believe that it's our time period. This is your time. You're in this stage of your life where you're halfway, you can also say this is the best. I truly believe this is the best stage. I will tell you, I turned 57 last week. Every year I'm stronger than the year before. That is my goal. So, number one get strong. I'm not just talking about physically strong, although I am crazy about women becoming really strong in their bodies. 

21:14
It's time to really take a hold of your wellness in a more holistic way. Society wants us to believe that if we follow this particular diet also quick fix dieting and if we follow this fitness craze or this fitness routine, that all will be well. That may be working for some women, but I am absolutely convinced it does not work. When we're entering into perimenopause and menopause, we need to care for our bodies differently. I believe the foundation of our wellness as we're entering this phase and through the rest of our lives is our sleep. Wow, sleep first, sleep first. And sleep is primal. Wow, sleep is almost as important to our bodies as water. 

22:06 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Wow, because our first thought would be like diet and exercise. 

22:11 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
It would be yes. And the fitness and the diet industries are a hundred multi-hundred billion dollar industries Banking on that, banking on you believing that. 

22:21 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah. 

22:23 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
However, sleep is the foundation for your wellness. 

22:28 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, so I'm going through perimenopause. Is there like a recommended amount of hours to get, or is it what your body needs? And I also have children that wake up pretty early. 

22:42 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
And do you have any that wake up in the middle of the night? 

22:45 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Occasionally. I'm finally past well the other night, yes, but for the most part we're past. That like interrupted sleep stage, fabulous. 

22:54 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yeah, that has been huge. 

22:56 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I know my youngest is now four and it's like I, like I do feel like we get sleep now, Like I can choose when I go to bed and for the most part, I choose when I wake up. 

23:07 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
That is a lovely, it's almost a luxury, yeah. So when we get seven to seven and a half hours of uninterrupted sleep, our body has ample time to recover from our day. Our brain is busier when we are asleep than when we are awake. So this is how it works. This tends to really audience members listen closely your brain is really busy at night when you're asleep. We need to go through all of the sleep cycles five to six times. So our most precious sleep a lot of women have heard of it is REM sleep rapid eye movement. That's later in our sleep cycle. So we have these very distinct sleep stages that our brain needs to go through. Every sleep stage has its own distinct function. When we cheat that third or that fourth or that second, we are not going to get back. 

24:18
So if we wake up between one and three in the morning, which is very common for women, and men that is cortisol. That's the high cortisol during the day that wakes us up between one and three in the morning. So we are losing out on really vital processes that our brain is conducting while we're sleeping. 

24:40 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Wow, well, that does make sense when you have little little kids that are waking up multiple times a night. Like I never felt rested Right. Well, I can tell, though, like on nights, when, like one of mine, had a cough one night, I give them cough medicine. The next day I'm off, like I don't feel. 

24:59 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Right, right. And, like one of your other guests said, it's true, we are hungry, or we are legitimately hungry. Our brains are hungry for sugary foods and carbohydrates. However, that is why we need our sleep. It needs recovery from these busy lives. We have raising children, possibly caring for elderly parents, possibly caring for teams that work up and down. You know, we're managing up, we're managing down, so we have a lot of recovery that our brain needs and if it's not getting it, then we're losing out on that phase and we're actually losing out on that unique function of the brain. 

25:41
Wow, so sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep is number one. Are you ready for number two? Yes, okay, right above sleep is stress resilience. So stress is everywhere. We are not going to avoid it. 

25:59
However, what we can do, and what we do in our program, is we teach tools that you can respond to it and not react to it. Do you see the difference between the two? Yeah, yeah, you can control somewhat some of the stressors. We can't. We know that Right, and that helps because we can accumulate some of those little stressors and the medium-sized stressors. If we are better able to respond to them as opposed to reacting, then, of course our cortisol level is going to go down and therefore, you know, cortisol does put weight around our waistline and our hips, and then we're going to be more able to deal with larger stresses that perhaps we don't have the ability to respond, but we'll have the better sense of reaction. So it's the brain. Again, we're protecting the brain. My first two spokes of my wheel are really to protect our very beautiful and vibrant brain that we really need as we're going through the rest of our lives. 

27:12 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Wow, yeah, I like that you said that we respond versus react. Yes, the two differences, because I very easily can have a stressor and then overthink things and make it bigger. And they say the number one like damage you can do your body is stress, like that is so much so learning how to. I was just a friend the other day and she's like I don't know why I was talking to the insurance company and I just like reacted like it really wasn't that bad. But my initial like so having that mindset of like I can, I can handle this. 

27:50 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yes, and it's nice to have some tools, because throughout the day our cortisol level is supposed to be high. In the morning, our stress hormone. We are made primarily to get up in the morning and fend for our families and, you know, primarily we're supposed to go hunt our prey and protect our families. We're still primal human beings and so in the morning our cortisol is high, but our cortisol is supposed to slowly go down throughout our days and then when the sun goes down, we are supposed to go to sleep. We are not doing that. First of all, we are not going to sleep with sundown and our cortisol levels are staying up all day. So this leads to poor sleep, which leads to increased stress, which leads to wanting to eat more or just gaining weight because you're adding more stress to your life. 

28:39
Yeah, it's that like cycle, like it's a cycle. Wow, it is, it is. So I would say start with your sleep, and my program does that. We start with sleep and then we move on to stress resilience, because I like to say you can be resilient in the face of stress. We can, we can, we can stop, pause, breathe and move. 

29:00 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yes, that's my sister in law the other day was telling me I just when something feels overwhelming, I just stop for like 10 seconds and breathe and it automatically will just deescalate a little bit. 

29:13 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
I'm like yeah, it really is, and at the hormonal level, I often wish we could see our brains at the time, because, underneath the skin, our brain is calming. It's our serotonin hormone, a neurotransmitter, that helps calm our brain. That's what's happening when your sister in law breathes like that and she's taking the cortisol down and her serotonin is going up, and this is a very good hormone. We want to keep a hold of that. 

29:37 - Katie Fenske (Host)
The good ones, the good ones. Okay, so sleep and stress low stress. What else can we do? 

29:47 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
So the next one's going to surprise you and it's the one that surprises most of my the folks I speak to and the podcast audiences and its calendar, okay, so why I would pick calendar next? Don't worry, ladies, exercise and diet are coming next. 

30:03 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I know, like I said, rachel's field. I got there. 

30:06 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Give me some food and stuff and I've got lots of food ideas for you, don't worry, and I have a food webinar coming up in March. So, calendar, if we look at our time as the most precious asset we own and if we take our core values of our life so core values, I know is a very deep topic, but if we just think what's really important to me, my family's important to me, for me, my faith is important to me. My vocation, which is my work, my work with women, is important to me. Yes, my wellness is important to me. Okay, so I'm going to say those are four of my core values and if you were to take a look at my calendar today, katie, you would see those four are reflected on my calendar. 

30:52 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yes, I've got my color code and Google calendar. It's very obvious. Yes, it is so they're all over there. The kids are everywhere. 

30:59 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
That family's everywhere. Boy are they so. And you know and it's, a lot of things in our lives can jump in the way of our own self care. So I'm a big believer to put the five minute walk around the block or around your living room, or to the mailbox and to the back, or to write a letter to your mom, or to just lay on the floor and breathe for 10 seconds or 20 little bits of breaks throughout our day. 

31:27
Well, first of all, lower that cortisol. It's going to protect your sleep and you're going to hold in boundary your time for your wellness. It may. It's never going to be the same amount of time that you give to your family and to your work. It's not going to. And we're not trying like like a work life balance. That's an old vestige of 1990s. We're now in the 2024. We're not going to get this scale where they're both going to be equal. But what we can do is we can add small pockets of wellness throughout our day. We can look for a recipe online, we can call our best friend A lot of different things. We can book a doctor's appointment and go to the doctor. 

32:10 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, I love that you're sharing like such simple things and that we can call those self care too. You know, it's like absolutely If I, because I have really started enjoying just putting on podcasts and going for a walk and it takes, you know, 15 minutes. I don't have a lot of time in the morning, so I get up in the morning, I do a little journal and then I'm like, well, they're going to be up soon, so it's going to be a quick walk, but that alone is like I saw the sunrise, like that just made me feel. 

32:36
Oh wow, Katie, but it's not like an hour of me time. No, we don't get that, but we can call those little treats time for ourselves. 

32:45 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
It's a little treat, exactly. We don't need an hour sweaty class every day, I mean we used to be able to do that we used to be able to do that, but with limited time. I have, even this week, been practicing 15 to 20 minutes. I strength train most days, seven days a week, so I've been getting 15, 20 minutes in between meetings or between pickups or whatever I can get it into, and that feels just as good and it has the same utility as that amount of time combined. 

33:15 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah. 

33:16 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yeah, so the calendar is next and it's really important to boundary of time because we get a dopamine, another hormone, we get the reward center hormone. It goes up in our brain when we help someone else, so we love to fix and help somebody else, and does it go up when we help ourselves. 

33:33 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Like if we were to do something for ourselves. Is it good it? 

33:36 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
does. It does, but it goes up even more so when we help another, when somebody else needs us. It feels good to help someone else, but when we do something for ourselves, not only dopamine, but we get the serotonin, yes and the oxytocin, which is something that most moms know about. That's the connection hormone, and if we connect with another individual, that's really good for our brains too. So we're just working on ways that we can calm the brain and put that on your calendar. Calendar to me is everything Calendar. With most of the women who I've been working with for several years now, they will most, most of them will tell you calendars and everything. 

34:18 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Wow, I know, just being like I'm seeing some friends on Thursday morning, I'm like, oh, I can't wait for that, some non-kid time. 

34:27 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
That sounds like and so many activities would love to go in that space. Right, you can check your email. You can go market your podcast. You can do so many other things, right. Yeah, but it's a boundary around that time with your girlfriends that is so valuable for your wellness, yeah. 

34:45 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Like protect that space yes, yeah. 

34:48 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yes, yeah, so you want to know my next spoke. Yes, yes. 

34:52
Okay, I'm surprised or no? It's two. It's a movement. Okay, I call fitness movement because I believe we need to move throughout our day, as opposed to calling exercise. 

35:07
Exercise can also sound pejorative, it can. It can have a negative connotation to it. Yeah, it can. For many of us, it doesn't. For a lot of women. A lot of women don't love exercise because it's associated with so many stories from our past. 

35:23
That may not be positive, but if I just asked you to move for an hour a day, 10 minutes between those two meetings, when you get up in the morning, walk the house for five minutes, walk your stairs, you know, grab something heavy in your basement or in your living room and walk around and move throughout your day. Squat 10 times between meetings. I have a client who does 25 pushups a day. She figures out how to get them in and she is a very, very high level executive in an international company and she gets in 25 pushups a day, so you get them in throughout your day. And then I really believe the strength training is everything this time of our lives, because we're losing muscle and bone mass by the day, and I'm not exaggerating. We are losing bone and muscle mass, so we need to keep it and make it stronger, and we need our bones to be flexible. 

36:18
It could you use body weight or body weight, body weight, any resistance against a force. Okay, that is what, what I would say any woman needs to do now. So get really comfortable squatting, deadlifting, lift things up. I mean, don't let anybody carry your bags, carry your own bags, you know. Pick your grocery bags up and carry them all on one hand for a minute and then carry them in another hand for a minute. That's more challenging than carrying a dumbbell, dumbbells, yeah. 

36:46 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, this sounds less like a chore and just more like something you do Like extra size is a chore. 

36:53 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yes yes, we follow the rule of the neuroscience of habits. So we really do want to develop small habits, because these little tiny habits, they attach to one another. So if I were to get up in the morning and I were to walk for 15 minutes, well, I might add in five squats every block why not, I'm out there anyway? And then if I add five squats for a few weeks, then I might as well just go down to the curb and throw in a push up or two and then I do my push ups and then, over the course of time, maybe I'll do some step ups and maybe I'll start walking backward and maybe I'll shuffle to the side and all of a sudden you've incorporated all this movement, but you started with the 15 minutes of the walk around your neighborhood. Yeah, the habit stack, it's habit stacking. Yeah, and I'm a big believer. I mean, obviously it's hard not to be. The science is there. Yeah, and look at our country willpower and discipline, they don't work. We know they don't work. 

37:48 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Does this have something to do with, they say, osteoporosis when you get older and strength training helps with that? Does menopause kind of tie into that as well? 

37:57 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
It does. Yes, we lose bone mass, yes, and that is no joke. We really need to preserve that. Unfortunately, women are more likely than men to fall. Women die of hip fractures at an incredibly high rate, much higher than most women would know, and what happens is women fall and they're afraid to go out. So then women die of loneliness, because of a fall in the middle of the night, from a UTI or from poor vision, both menopausal, both menopause symptoms, utis and menopausal Really, vision, yes, vision Dry eye. 

38:41 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, okay, yes. 

38:42 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
And you do have, and we started to lose. Yeah, and around it was for me about 50, my vision stopped. I stopped declining but yeah, 40 to 50, I started wearing these guys for most night driving and reading. Okay, yes, so strength training I believe strength begets strength. The stronger we are physically, the stronger I am going to be emotionally and spiritually. I think they go together. 

39:08 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Okay, what about someone who does not do any strength training right now? Yeah, what's a good place to start? 

39:15 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
I would say when you sit down on a chair, stand up 10 times. Sit down, stand up 10 times. You're going to sit anyway. You're going to sit on the toilet. Sit down, stand up 10 times, squat. 

39:27 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Basic movements okay, basic. 

39:29 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
I really like functional movements because they're what we do throughout our day anyway. We squat, we hinge when we pick up dishes from the dishwasher, right when we pick anything up or hinging. I do love the concept of hanging because women have a propensity for shoulder injury because we're tending to carry bags on our shoulders babies, kids so shoulders get locked. You'll hear that there's a lot of frozen shoulder and it's another perimenopausal symptom. So I'm a big believer in hanging. Even if you just hang from your kitchen counter and take some deep breaths for five to 10 seconds a day, your shoulder is actually intended to be in this position with our arms overhead. I'm having my arms overhead and it's not something we do, so they get locked into this position. 

40:21 - Katie Fenske (Host)
So interesting. It makes me think I need to start moving more. 

40:27 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
You start moving to hang from your kitchen sink, my kids are going to be like what are you doing? Mom, Can we join you? Yes, you can jump on your back. 

40:33 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah. Not all the time but even when we go to the playground. Instead of just sitting there watching them, why not kind of get up and move around? 

40:44 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Get on the playground with the bars, the handlebars. 

40:46 - Katie Fenske (Host)
The monkey bars. 

40:48 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Absolutely, why not? I love seeing a woman and experience a woman do a pull up for the first time and it is possible at any age. A pull up and a handstand. 

41:00 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Wow, can you do a handstand? 

41:04 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Of course I can. I did my first one at 51. Wow 51. 

41:09 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I had a lot of fear. That's my bucket list. 

41:11 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yeah, and you start slow. So you start with a decline plank. You put your feet up on a couch or something and over the course of time, you get yourself a little bit more at an incline. Small habits, yeah, just every few weeks go up. 

41:25 - Katie Fenske (Host)
That's awesome. Okay, so we've got the four tips so far. 

41:30 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
We've got four. I have diet Okay. 

41:34 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Which is what I saw coming. 

41:36 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
You're like why didn't you talk about this first? No, no, no, Because the other ones surprised me. 

41:40 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I was like oh, these are all things that we can do, yeah, so diet is a way of doing things we really can. 

41:45 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
We need to start with a mindset of me first Fill my bucket first. So diet so I call it's called food is fuel. In my program I want women to develop a healthy relationship with food. More times than not, women do not come into our program with a healthy or a fueling relationship with food. So I want to look at my body as my vessel to carry out all the amazing things I want to carry out my daily life. If I look at my body that way first, I'm more likely to want to fuel it adequately. We need food, yeah, and properly, and I do believe we really need to focus on protein first. It's called protein forward Interesting. Again, we're losing muscle mass. We're losing bone mass and bone density. How do we build muscle? We need to eat protein, and more than most women believe they need to consume. Wow. 

42:46 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, yeah, probably more than what's in my diet. 

42:50 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yeah, More than I'll be honest, more than what's in my diet. I mean I try for 100 grams a day. Superman, he's back, he's back, he wants some protein. So 100 grams a day. I do not weigh 100 pounds, but I do tell women, Think about your body weight and grams of protein and they'll just I'll go get these big eyes. That's what your body can really take on without gaining a pound. Not one study I'm going to use a double negative Not one study has conducted over weight loss candidates who have eaten more. Their body weight in grams has gained weight. They've lost weight. They lose their weight. 

43:37 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Oh, like that fills them up. Exactly the carbs that we munch on all the time. I mean there's good, healthy carbs, but plenty of what's in my cupboard that my kids eat Same. 

43:49 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Just same. Yeah, and it is, it's fine. Yeah, so we really do. And yo-yo dieting is a is a message of the past. Yo-yo dieting ruins our skeletal muscle. It breaks down skeletal muscle. So my job, me, adrienne cotton, I am trying every day to maintain my muscle mass, not only to live a long life, but also for an immune, my immune system. It regulates my blood sugar, it regulates my hormones. I feel strong, it gives me more energy. Muscle is. There's a wonderful quote from Gabrielle Lyon, dr Gabrielle Lyon. She says muscle is the currency of health. Huh, the more muscle we have, the healthier we are. 

44:37 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Wow, what's your favorite type of protein? 

44:41 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
I love lean chicken. My husband makes a great lime chicken on the grill. I have just started to learn how to cook meat on an iron skillet on the stove. You know how they do it in the fancy restaurants. I googled. I say how do the fancy restaurants make that delicious belay or any kind of beef? I figured it out and it's really good. I love those too. We make a lot of chicken in our house. I have a bunch of chicken in the refrigerator. I can use that for chicken case. It is for the kids. I can make a chicken sandwich for my daughter. I can have some chicken taco. You can use chicken for so many different things, wow. 

45:22 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Going to look up some recipes. I mean yes, ma'am Chicken is pretty much of a staple in our house, so we do it. 

45:28 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
It's really simple and it can take on the flavor of any sauce, right you? Can really make it into what you want. And most kids like it. 

45:37 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, thankfully Okay, so we've got these tips going. Yes, how did you actually get into this? And what do you do for women? 

45:49 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
How I got into this. I had a corporate job. I worked in politics for about 16 years on Capitol Hill. Wow and then I had a big corporate job and I was not happy. So at the time, bill, my husband said you've got to do it. My dream has always been to be in this wellness space. I grew up in Southern California running the beaches of Newport Beach and playing beach volleyball. I'm in Orange County, yeah. 

46:14 - Katie Fenske (Host)
You're in. 

46:15 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Orange County. Oh, you are. 

46:16 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I am City of Orange. Yeah, you're the city of Orange. I grew up in Garden Grove, oh, like miles Girl, a couple miles from here, I know I know Garden Grove Boulevard, chapman, oh my gosh. 

46:27 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Anyway, I knew when I first arrived here in 1989 in Washington DC and I noticed that individuals in the workspace at the time were not tending to their health and their wellness. So I knew from then on I mean, 20 years later, bill said start your gym, because I really got crazy about learning how to exercise right and how to fuel myself, right back when I was in my mid to early to mid thirties. So I started a gym and it was called Fitness on the Run and it was amazing and, like I said, we've seen at least 1,000 to 1,500 people come in and out of our doors. Of course, our first clients were from the political field. We always had somewhere between eight and 10 trainers come through when we trained them in our methodology. We had a pretty serious methodology that we follow. We still do. 

47:16
But at the time when I was working with women, I noticed that they were working out really hard, having these sweaty workouts. They were eating the quote unquote right food and they still did not feel good. So I started to realize what I had gone through with my perimenopause and, oh goodness, they also were or are going through that. So I decided to close the doors of Fitness on the Run, which was a little bit controversial because we were very successful. But I wanted to commit myself to women. 

47:52
So I decided to work with women 40 plus 40 years old and older and work with them on these same issues of sleep, stress, calendar, food and exercise, and so to pull it all together in a wellness package. So what I do is I do work one on one with some women, but what I really love are my small group programs so women come in from all over the country. We meet over Zoom 30 minutes at the time. We have a curriculum around that wheel that all of five of the spokes that I walked you through today. We talk about sleep. We give you stress sleep strategies let stress resilient strategies, calendar. 

48:32
It actually becomes one of the longer modules because women get really deep into carving out their time and then food and exercise, so we talk through those in over Zoom or if some women come in from here in this area, and then the next 30 minutes I strength train them so we work out body weight and some resistance bands and some kettlebells. 

48:55 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I love kettlebells or balls, so I work them out for the next 30 minutes I love that you are showing women at this age how to exercise, because sometimes it can be very intimidating, because I used to go to a boot camp. I loved it, but now that I'm getting a little older I'm like I can't do what I used to. And there's all those young kids there and I'm like intimidating it is indeed. So you want to keep up, but not be able to keep up. 

49:21 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Yeah, yes, and it's a really beautiful community that comes together for the same purpose of being holistically well for themselves, yeah, so do you do workouts, or is that for the people who live oh? Cool. 

49:37 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Yeah, so it's live. 

49:39 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
So these are live groups, and then you've got accountability, you've got the accountability and, interestingly, of the groups who are working with me now. They have become friends so they correspond with each other Outside of the group sometimes. I'll prompt them to do that, I'll encourage them. Check in with your partner. They all have partners of the different modules, like a stress module. 

49:59
You'll have your partner. You'll have your partner for movement, and they really do, and so then they become friends and it's a really nice thing. We are the result of the five people with whom we spend the most time, and if you're going to gather some folks around you now at this time of life, maybe a good idea to reassess your relationships and find people who also want to focus on their wellness. Yeah, yeah. 

50:24 - Katie Fenske (Host)
And I love that you're putting together a group that can look at perimenopause and menopause in a new light and not a oh yes, you're going to have to suffer, you're going to be struggling up and drying up. 

50:38 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
No, we can embrace the changes. 

50:40 - Katie Fenske (Host)
We know why it's happening. Yes, which I think that was a big aha for me it's not just like something's dumped on you, it's like this is why it's happening, this is what's causing it and this is what we can do to navigate this phase. 

50:54 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Navigate it and really to embrace it. Because also, we are wiser. We have more neurons that are going out firing in our brain with this phase than we did before. Oh, interesting the way we it's really cool Cognitively we have more brain power during perimenopause and menopause than we did before. No way. 

51:14 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Well, I'm definitely going to tell my son and my husband that my son just thinks oh mom, you don't know anything. Well, oh yeah, you just like. 

51:21 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Actually, I am wiser right now. 

51:23 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I am yes, yes, no interesting, you are. 

51:25 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Oh, this is all so fascinating. 

51:29 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I definitely want to go out and find a doctor now that I can make sure I'm going at this right. But if we wanted to get in touch with you and learn more about your program. Where can we find you? 

51:41 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
Adriene A-D-R-I-E-N cotton, c-o-t-t-o-n almond phrase. Adriene cotton doctor, adriene cotton dot com. And my offering is my concierge smug group. That's what I spoke with you about. Is that the group of women, and I would love to gather a group of women from the West Coast. I don't have any West Coasters, although my modern day friends, because I went to modern. Oh, that's why you didn't. I used to, of course you did. Did you go there? So I went to modern, I did, yes, and I have some friends who said we need to put together a group with you and I need to get them going too, so it doesn't need to be in the same geographical area because we'll be on Zoom. 

52:14
So I do that, and then I also have an online course called Master Menopause Now and we have a special discount for your listeners. That. 

52:21 - Katie Fenske (Host)
I think I told you about yes and I have. I'm going to put that in the description so everyone can see it. So that's just kind of going through those five things, just not with the group Right. 

52:30 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
It's not live and I offer a monthly Facebook live for the folks who buy the Master Menopause Now Incredible. 

52:36 - Katie Fenske (Host)
That's so great, yeah, and this must feel so amazing to you that you're able to help so many women. 

52:41 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
It does it does I feel really, really honored and blessed. I love what I do. I really do. 

52:48 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Well, it shows, it definitely shows, thank you. Thank you so much for coming on. I'm going to put all of the last five information and people can reach out to you that way. 

52:57 - Adrien Cotton (Guest)
All right girl. Thanks so much. 

53:01 - Katie Fenske (Host)
Big special thanks to Adrienne for that wonderful mombersation. I appreciate just bringing this topic to you all and the fact that she answered all of my questions and I had a lot of them, so special thanks to her. If you feel like there's someone in your life that could benefit from hearing this conversation, I would love for you to share this. My goal on this podcast is to bring up topics that moms are dealing with or need to hear, and I think this one was extra special. So, on that note, I've got more conversations coming up, so if you haven't subscribed already to the podcast or followed it, please do so, and to help spread the word about this podcast would be in the world to me. So sharing it with friends or leaving me a five star review, that would be amazing. So until next week's mombersation, I want to remind you that everyone burns their first pancake, so just keep flipping everyone.