086 - Talking with Your Child's Teacher

Do you find it challenging to communicate with your child's teacher, especially when it comes to sensitive matters or disagreements?

You're not alone! In this episode, we demystify those crucial conversations and equip you with the tools to build a strong, collaborative relationship with your child's school. Tune in to learn how to take the stress out of communicating with your child's teachers and ensure a positive educational experience for your little one.

This is the third of a series of episodes that we have with Teacher Roxanne Sevilla.

About our Guest:
Roxanne Veronica Sevilla is a committed educator with nine years of experience as a preschool teacher and now works as a learning support teacher at MGC New Life Christian Academy. She co-founded The Nook Learning and Play Hub, offering play-based learning for young children and a SPED playgroup for social skills development. A strong advocate for home-school partnerships and integrating biblical principles in teaching, Roxanne holds a degree in Special Education from Trinity University of Asia, where she was recently honored as an outstanding alumna. She is currently pursuing her master's in Special Education at De La Salle University.

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Transcript

Are there things you wish to communicate with your child's teacher, but you don't know where to start?  Or maybe it's a sensitive matter, it's something you don't agree with, or it's a concern that you have. If that's the case, then you're not alone. And today we will demystify those important conversations and we'll give you the tools to build a strong relationship and collaboration with your child's teacher. 

So get ready to take the stress out of communicating with your child's school and to your child's teachers. 

 Welcome to Discerning Parenting, the podcast for parents of kids age 12 and under who have learned the hard way that a one size fits all approach to parenting won't shift the needle for you, your child, or your family. Together, We'll explore intentional strategies that see both you and your kids thrive. 

Parenting strategies based on well-conducted research in the areas of child development, brain science, and neurodiversity need practical for you.  What if you let go of perfect and embrace discerning parenting in your family instead?  If you feel like you've been stumbling your way through. And you're ready to leave behind fight or flight mode parenting.

Then this is the podcast for you.  I'm Dr. Victoria Ang-Nolasco, Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician and Positive Parenting Coach, on a mission to help you release your parenting guilt,  so you can become laser-focused on what will truly work for you.  

So today is the third of a series of episodes that we have with Roxanne Sevilla. She's a highly experienced preschool teacher. With nearly a decade of experience, and the wonderful thing is she also works with learning support for early years and lower primary years, which means that she has extensive experience in bridging the gap between teachers and parents so she's.

The first person that the parents can turn to. And if there are things that need to be communicated, she also helps parents. So she's really the perfect person to talk with us about this. At the same time, she's also co-owner, co-founder and program director of NOOK Learning and Play Hub where they provide play-based learning and they also provide a special education playgroup to help children with special needs.

And she is passionate about giving every child the opportunity to grow in their unique ways to set them up for success. And she is a strong advocate of partnerships between the home and the school, and integrating biblical principles into her teaching. So that they can build the holistic development of kids.

And she is a graduate of special education. She has been awarded with several awards that show what an outstanding teacher and what an outstanding alumna of her school she is. And she is also currently pursuing her master's degree in special education at the Della South University. So we're very fortunate to have her.

Teacher Roxanne is here with us again. So hello, teacher Roxanne, if you, yeah, we had two episodes with her before about helping your child get along with other kids in school and another about what your preschool child needs to know for nursery and kindergarten. So if you haven't listened to those episodes, be sure to go back.

Be sure to go back there.  Teacher Roxanne. I know this can be a controversial topic,  talking with your child's teachers, so I'm glad that there are two of us here.  I'm a parent, you're a teacher, you've been on the teaching side, you've also been on the administrative side, you're also, you've also been on the learning support side.

 What conversations do teachers have with parents?  Thank you again for having me, Dr. Nolasco. I'm actually very excited to discuss how parents can build a strong partnership with their child's teacher.   As a teacher, I believe that it is very important to know that effective communication ensures your child's positive and productive school experience.

So going back to your question, common conversations between teachers and parents typically, include first academic progress. So teachers often discuss a child's performance in different subjects, strengths, and areas need for improvement.  For example, I had spoke with a parent about their child's reading progress.

and suggested ways to support their reading at home. Next would be their behavior and social skills. Conversations about the child's behavior, interactions with peers, and social development are common. I once had a discussion with parents about their child's difficulty sharing and how we could work together to address this behavior.

So when we have conversations like this, I know sometimes as parents, we can feel threatened.   I understand because sometimes if these things are pointed out, it can feel like a criticism of our parenting. And we want to assure you that it's not, it doesn't make us any less of a parent. If there are these challenges that come up, but we're on the same team, we're on the same side as our kids teachers we can have a respectful and proactive discussion about it. 

So it's not about who did wrong, or why is this happening, but what can we do about it moving forward?  Yes.  One of the conversations also include learning challenges. If a child has learning difficulties.  Teachers discuss strategies and support systems as well.  Next would be their attendance and participation in class.

So teachers may address issues like frequent absences or lack of participation in class activities. I once talked to a parent about their child's regular tardiness and its impact on their learning. So by doing this, we can address, And lastly, parental support, discussions about how parents can support their child's education at home, such as through homework, help, or reading together.

 Yeah, so these are really very common discussions that come up.  What I love best actually are parent-teacher collaborations that aren't just about challenges but about positive things as well. Like recently I received a message from my child's teacher and then she shared how my child was able to befriend the new kids.

In their classroom and before that, that, that it's not just about when there are problems and when there are complaints, but we communicate progress as well. And I'm glad you emphasize that part of the communication is also about the child's progress. And it's not just about academics, but it's also in their entire holistic development.

So this one is about like common discussion topics.    I would also like to ask, how do parents effectively communicate their child's needs or any concerns that they might have? Because, I know that sometimes parents may have their worries. Or maybe they heard about something, they don't agree with it, and, or maybe they have a complaint. 

How can we do this in a way that is respectful and that invites collaboration? And sometimes it can be,  the responses sometimes can be extreme. So sometimes they can get so scared that they don't bring it up at all. Or sometimes emotions can run high,  it can end up being problematic. So how can we strike a balance where we're communicating at the same time maintaining the respectful collaboration? 

Yes, thank you for that. Parents can actually effectively communicate their child needs and concerns by simply being specific.  Just clearly describe your concerns or observations.  Instead of saying, my child is struggling, we, as parents, you can specify my child is having trouble with reading, maybe, CBC words. 

Yeah, that's true, and I'm glad you said that it's observations, because sometimes  we just stick to judgment,   you're not teaching well or something like that.  So instead of doing that judgment, we can go with the observation. And that's also something we help parents with during parent coaching.

When we have challenging behaviors, we don't jump to making a judgment right away. We don't jump to the judgment actually, but we look at behavior that we can observe. That's right. Thank you also for affirming that. Yes. And next is providing context. Share any relevant background information such as recent family changes or health issues that might affect your child's performance in school.

And also offering solutions. As parents, you can also suggest possible strategies or accommodations that have worked in the past. For example, if your child focuses better with breaks, mention this to your child's teacher. Next is being open and honest. Honest communication helps build trust. If you're worried about your child's behavior, share your observations without any hesitation. 

And lastly, you can schedule meetings. Request a meeting if the concern requires a detailed discussion.  Email or maybe brief conversations during drop off or pick up might not suffice any complex concerns or issues you may have.  Yeah, so if it's just a small matter, sometimes when you drop off your pick up your child or through emails, you can communicate this.

 But if it's something deeper, then maybe a meeting might be more helpful. And I know teacher Roxanne in your work in learning support, you have facilitated many of these meetings.  Yeah, so I know you have extensive experience about this. So when the parents don't agree with the teacher or. Maybe they feel their concerns aren't being adequately addressed.

What can they do?  So if parents don't agree with the teacher or maybe they feel their concerns are not being addressed, as parents, you just stay calm and respectful. So I know this is easier said than done, but we have to do this.  Maybe we can wait until we have calmed down before we initiate the.

conversation. And we can actually approach the situation calmly and respectfully. It's essential to maintain a positive relationship with your child's teacher.  And next is requests for a meeting. Schedule a dedicated time to discuss the issue in detail. This shows you are serious and allows for a more focused conversation. 

Next, you may also bring evidence. If possible, bring examples of your child's work or specific incidents to illustrate your concerns to the teachers.  Next is, you may seek clarifications. Ask the teacher to explain their perspective and rationality behind their decisions or observations.  And next, you may also involve administrators or  the heads or supervisors.

In the school I work with, they we make sure that our supervisors are always involved as well. So if the issue remains unresolved, consider involving a school counselor or maybe your child's department supervisor to mediate the conversation. And lastly, explore alternative. So you may also be open to alternative solutions that might address both the teachers and your concerns.  

 Thank you for sharing these tips that can parents handle sensitive situations.  And it's really collaboration between the parents and the teachers. So that's a fight with the teachers or with the school because they're really in it because they're dedicated  to help. It's not easy to be a teacher.

I'm sure you, I'm sure this is an understatement teacher, Roxanne. So you wouldn't go in it unless you were truly passionate about helping kids.  Yes. So let's all work together. We're on the same team. Yes, that's right. And just to add, as teachers, rest assured that we always have your child's best interest in mind.

So we're very much willing and open to collaborate and work together. Thank you. Yeah, that's so true. So as parents, how can we support teachers at home so that we can enhance our child's learning experience?  Okay, so parents can support teachers by maybe volunteering. You may offer help in the classroom with reading sessions, art projects, or field trips.

Your involvement shows your commitment to the school community, to your child's school community. So this may be case to the schools, but this can be a stepping stone, right? And next would be reinforcing learning at home, support homework routines, and provide a conducive environment for studying.

Reinforce concepts learned at school through practical applications. for your time.  Next would be communicating regularly. Keep open lines of communication with the teacher through emails or parent-teacher conferences or even through messages. Share updates on your child's progress and challenges as well.

As parents, you can also encourage,  by encouraging responsibility, you help your child develop organizational skills and responsibility. for their schoolwork and belongings. And lastly, promoting a positive attitude.  Encourage a positive attitude towards school and respect for teachers. This will set the tone for your child to follow.

Yeah, that's so true. So thank you for these five tips. So being involved in the school, reinforcing the learning at home, regular communication, encouraging responsibility, and encouraging also a positive attitude. And these are actually research back teacher Roxanne it's very interesting. I saw this research.

We linked to it in the show notes.  It shows that  If parents are involved in a child's learning, the child actually does better in school. That's right.  Things like being present, communicating being involved.  The caveat there is there are forms of involvement that might not be helpful. This includes practice.

placing pressure on the child. So for example, if we're helping kids with homework, we can do this in a positive way. And I'm glad that teacher Roxanne talked about practical applications. So it's about the real world outside the classroom application of what they're learning. Let's say they're learning to read.

So they're all of these signs outside the labels of the cereal boxes at home. So  those are ways that we can reinforce it at home, but we do this in a way that doesn't place pressure on them, because if it's good for parents to be involved, it helps kids be successful, but the moment there is already pressure, too much pressure placed on them, that in, then it can become counterproductive. 

That's correct.  Yeah, thank you. Arthur. Any tips for parents on preparing for talking with a teacher or let's say if a parent teacher conference is due? So I'm glad that there are already more parent-teacher conferences because I remember when I was a child, if you're called to a parent-teacher conference, it means you're in trouble.

I think negative. Yes, but now I'm glad that's not the case. I'm glad that at least in most schools.  Every child has a scheduled parent-teacher conference. What, can we do? What happens in these conferences and then, how can we make the most out of them as parents? Okay. So to prepare for talking with a teacher or for a parent-teacher conference, as parent, you can maybe make a list. 

Write all your questions, your concerns, your observations beforehand, so that this will ensure that you cover all important points during the meeting.  Next is you should prioritize concerns. So we focus on the most critical issues to make the best use of the time available.  Next, you may also bring documentation, have examples of your child's work or specific incidents that may highlight your concerns. 

You should also be open minded, listen to the teacher's perspective, and be open to their suggestions as well. Again, collaborative problem solving is most effective.  Take notes. Also, write down the key points discussed and any agreed upon actions, for this will help you follow up with the teacher effectively. 

And lastly,  you may follow up with the teacher after the meeting. You may follow up with an email summarizing the discussion and the next steps. For this will ensure clarity and accountability with your child's teacher as well.  Thank you for sharing these tips. We have it from someone who is a veteran of hundreds of parent-teacher conferences over the years.

 Words for our listeners.   Okay, so we, as your child's teachers, are your partners in this journey, so we assure you that we have your child's best interests in mind, open communication, and collaboration between parents and teachers are vital to your child's success. So by working together, we can create a supportive and nurturing environment that allows your child to thrive both academically and personally. 

So thank you for being involved, caring, and taking the time to connect with your child's teacher. So together we can make a significant, positive impact on your child's education and overall well-being.  So again, remember, you're not alone in this. We are here to support you every step of the way. Thank you so much, Teacher Roxanne.

You have shared so much wisdom with us over these three episodes.  If you haven't yet, be sure to go back and listen to our first two episodes with Teacher Roxanne. So we have one about building your child's social skills and another one about nursery and kindergarten readiness. Thanks. And be sure to download our free parenting toolkit.

Head over to discerningparenting. com slash toolkit.  We have activities. We have a guide to prepare your child for reading.  We have a guide to handling tantrums. So for those frustrating moments. So next time, we're going to have a series about helping kids learn to read because we'll be publishing our book, our third book, which is Learning by Heart, Teach Your Child to Read Stress-Free.

So you don't want to miss that. So be sure to sign up at discerningparenting. com slash toolkit. When you get our toolkit, you'll also be signed up to our mailing list. So we'll you know, when the book is available Follow the Discerning Parenting Podcast so that our next episodes will be a series about helping kids learn to read so that you won't miss any of them. 

Thank you so much, Teacher Roxanne. Also, Dr. Nolasco, it's a privilege to be here. Thank you, and thank you to all of the moms. for joining us.  📍 All of the parents listening to us and whether you're a teacher or anybody interested in child development, we celebrate you. You are the ones making the discerning parenting community what it is, and we have a community from all over the world spanning the six continents and we honor you for being here.

Thank you.