Welcome to episode 37 with the Boujee blonde girls
Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? Let me tell you, Melissa had quite the day when she found herself at a stinky gas station with the world's worst coffee in hand. Who knew such a day could make for a hilarious story? Simone throws in her own mishaps and we both share our thoughts on the ever-rising prices and strategies for Christmas shopping. We even debate whether to order presents online or risk the kiddos finding out!
Ever heard of "bed rotting"? It's a controversial coping strategy where you stay in bed all day to deal with stress and anxiety. While it may sound enticing, we weigh up the pros and cons of such a move and emphasize the importance of fresh air and physical activity. We even tackle a listener's dilemma on whether to settle down or travel solo for a year or two, providing some advice on balancing personal desires and relationship needs.
And let's not forget about the nerve-wracking world of first dates. What are the questions that should be off the table? We challenge the old rule of avoiding politics and religion, and stress understanding a potential partner's work-life balance. They share our own experiences and opinions, and mind you, we don't shy away from the juicy details. So buckle up, grab your coffee (hopefully better than Melissa's), and get ready for a laughter-filled episode that will leave you wanting more!
To get in touch email Boujeeblondespodcast@gmail.com
Instagram @Boujeeblondespodcast
Lots of love
Melissa and Simone
xx
Welcome to episode 37 with the Boujee blonde girls
Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? Let me tell you, Melissa had quite the day when she found herself at a stinky gas station with the world's worst coffee in hand. Who knew such a day could make for a hilarious story? Simone throws in her own mishaps and we both share our thoughts on the ever-rising prices and strategies for Christmas shopping. We even debate whether to order presents online or risk the kiddos finding out!
Ever heard of "bed rotting"? It's a controversial coping strategy where you stay in bed all day to deal with stress and anxiety. While it may sound enticing, we weigh up the pros and cons of such a move and emphasize the importance of fresh air and physical activity. We even tackle a listener's dilemma on whether to settle down or travel solo for a year or two, providing some advice on balancing personal desires and relationship needs.
And let's not forget about the nerve-wracking world of first dates. What are the questions that should be off the table? We challenge the old rule of avoiding politics and religion, and stress understanding a potential partner's work-life balance. They share our own experiences and opinions, and mind you, we don't shy away from the juicy details. So buckle up, grab your coffee (hopefully better than Melissa's), and get ready for a laughter-filled episode that will leave you wanting more!
To get in touch email Boujeeblondespodcast@gmail.com
Instagram @Boujeeblondespodcast
Lots of love
Melissa and Simone
xx
It's the Boojee Blonde's podcast with Melissa and Simone, available on Spotify, apple or wherever you get your podcasts. Now let's get Boojee. Welcome to the Boojee Blonde's podcast with your co-host, melissa Clark and Simone Grace. If you're a regular listener, your sound and if you're new here, welcome. The pod is just two girls having the chats in the car, and this is how it all started.
Speaker 2:Helping you all out with your jail seat alimony, having the loudest laughs and giggles.
Speaker 1:It's a bit of a crack. I feel like I'm on a radio morning show today because it's so early.
Speaker 2:I know, melissa. I'm so sorry for dragging you up out of this earlier, sir.
Speaker 1:No, not at all, I don't mind. It's technically my fault, because yesterday we recorded this and Melissa didn't press record.
Speaker 2:Yes, but you know what? It was Monday and I feel like at the start of the week always. I don't know what possessed us to do the podcast on a Monday, but I feel like it gets us through the week, gets us motivated, productive and a lovely catch up. But then again I'm just like poor Melissa has to be dragged up out of the bed early in the AM because she's currently four hours behind me at the moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, I don't mind, it's just, my eyeballs kind of are like Drift with Aphidals today. It's all good. Yeah well, I don't know how people on radio actually go up this early all the time, and do you know how it works, you know?
Speaker 2:what you feel so much better after. I always feel like when I get up early I'm more reductive.
Speaker 1:I'll get more stuff done and, you know, get a nice coffee. Speaking of coffee, so I had a disaster on Sunday about my worst coffee ever Go on, fill us in.
Speaker 1:Well, first of all, I had like just a day of bad decisions, so went. I was up early, I was working, had to go to Ikea, so I was like, right, I'll just get food. On the way I stopped in the garage and I should have known like when the minute I stepped out that was just going to be a disaster. So I got out of the car and like literally it was like someone like smeared like human shit all over the course, over like the courtyard, like the place was stink, like it was vile. I was like right, just ignored that. And then I was like, right, we're going now and get a coffee. First of all, the first machine didn't have oatmeal, so I was like whatever Second machine was, like grand, had it go to the car. It was like like do you know what? Like at the end of the machine when they're cleaning it, like that's what I got on my cup and the smell of it.
Speaker 2:So, basically, from the minute before you drank your coffee, your day was off to an absolute nightmare.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like off to a nightmare. So now it was like the part the whole way up to Dublin. So I was like didn't even have a coffee. I was like what is this day about? Like you know, like when something like that happens, it's ruined your day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it really does, and I always find that was like show the first coffee of your day. It always has to be the strongest and the best coffee just to set you up, and then your hate would have diminished it. Violation coffee and you're just like. There's no going back, is there?
Speaker 1:No, for Melissa, it was just ruined. The day was ruined. So like it was just. And then, to even make it worse, I got these like little popcorn, chicken things, and no joke, like it was like a small, tiny little square like box, like a children's, like kid box. It was like a fiber. I was like what I should have sent McDonald's. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:What is going on with how expensive things are going? At the moment, though, like it seems to be just mental everywhere, like and I'd say you got like five pieces of popcorn chicken.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like literally about. I'm going to say maybe about trying to like judge it here by girl math. I'm going to say maybe about like 10 pieces, but like it was in a tiny little box and then it got me annoyed. I didn't even want to eat it anymore because I was like it's ridiculous.
Speaker 2:And we're still angry girls like we need we need to like forward and say our offer date.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was my. Like there's not a more Sony, just come to a bad garage. Do you know what I mean? Like so I don't rate that garage because I think the overpriced things as well, just because of where it is that kind of way Like. I'm just like no zero.
Speaker 2:Zero, what story were like he actually have? They like all the Christmas stuff and all that. Um, I don't know that much.
Speaker 1:I didn't. It's not that it's memorable, so I don't think we do.
Speaker 2:I literally like I actually cannot wait to go home, like I hate you all putting up your Christmas trees All this, like I mean the first November I'm always going to my Christmas tree. I cannot wait to get home with literally like start planning, start planning by presents. And then I'm just like, should I wait until I go home or just order everything to order?
Speaker 1:yourself, I'd order and have it ready for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I know, but then I'm just like you know, when you have little brothers and sisters, and like they see packages coming in and their presents are in it, they're just going to be sniffing through the parcels True. And like I'm just no, I don't know what to do. I'm in like a juicy dilemma myself. If I'm being honest, I'm like ah.
Speaker 1:Watch it, Simone. Do pre-order.
Speaker 2:I need advice. I really do. And then I'm like what do I even? I just I can't even be honest like going through all my winter collection at home. I think I'm just going to order nail clothes and have everything laid out, because I'm coming home for two weeks and just the effort of going through bags that I put away of clothes is just not a vibe.
Speaker 1:I know. I was actually on Zara there to have like these lovely, like sparkly boots and I was like, will I buy them or will I not? And if some boots.
Speaker 2:Are they just like?
Speaker 1:no, they're knee boots. They're fucking stunning. But like I'm, like I have so many boots, like it's actually ridiculous.
Speaker 2:I know, and you know what I find as well what like sparkly, like boots? They're very seasonal. I think, like I just feel like gone to the stage as well where, like the impulse buying has crammed down a little bit because it's very fucking expensive here. I need to start watching my money, but like I'm just like stuff like that. I just need to take a little step back because, like I know we're girls and like we love nice things. But send me on the picture because I feel like I need to tweet with you. Yeah, I was like.
Speaker 1:I was going to buy them. But then I'm like I'm waiting for my tax returns money to come out. So I'm like because obviously it's gone through, but just it's they're so slow, like it would take like seven days or to actually come out. So I'm like I need to like wait until that's cleared and then maybe you can treat yourself. I'll buy the boots. So yeah, like well, I'm watching my eyelash.
Speaker 2:I'm like, I'm trying to record this Like they're on there. They're so nice, they're so natural.
Speaker 1:They're like that new company. So they stick underneath your lash and they're yeah, they're like. They're not hard and real last time, but they're handy because I can take them off and reuse them if I want to Do. You know what I mean. So they're not like God he looking after a few days. You know what I mean. You were going to get eyelash extensions, aren't you? Yes, so tomorrow.
Speaker 2:I booked in to get eyelash extensions. I have never gotten them done before. Never came across my mind like my eyelashes are quite just to check the parts and that like I'm a very In the day, I'm the scar. And then when I go out, like the weekend or whatever, like I'll just try on the strip matches. But girl message me and she was like, oh, I'd love to you know, do your eyelash extensions or whatever come down. And I have proper anxiety, like I'm not even joking. Like she looks it might, like the work that she does looks unbelievable. Like I'm obsessed. Well, I just feel like I'm me.
Speaker 2:I have like a tiny eyelid and I'm like, I feel like I'm just gone.
Speaker 1:And as people need to be aware of that, as I have a third eye shape, like you, can't go too big with certain eyeships, like you know, I mean.
Speaker 2:And well yeah, I'm like Melissa, give me advice. What do you think I should do? Do you think I should like?
Speaker 1:even like to smart and me having these lashes on, like you don't feel as gaudy, so you don't feel like be de eyed, like feel a bit weak. Yeah, we're like the same to semi permanent ones. But the only thing with the semi permanent is I always find the goal like Gappy and then like it gives me the egg, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're just like the minute they start like shedding about. You're just like, yeah, like for the first week.
Speaker 1:The first week they're fabulous, and then they're like I don't know, and then they get itchy and I feel like I can't clean my eye properly, but like now you're getting on me all the time and fear. No, it's just a me thing like I. You know, I just really like doing my skincare and stuff and I just feel like never properly clean my eyes because you're kind of worried as well that you're like you don't want them to fall out, you know, I mean.
Speaker 2:Literally. If you're a listen to last week's podcast, I got a face up but like I literally have to come and out. Like is it on my team? That's the same size as Like Mount Everest. It's time to talk to me and it's overstaying its welcome with. On being honest, I just want to cry like.
Speaker 1:Michael wasn't there to give you a facial. I was listed back when I was editing the podcast and I was like. I was like why am I so stupid? Why do I knock up on Michael? Like she said, michael was a fake man.
Speaker 2:Just my dream man in my brain, yeah, just got a new way of agitation.
Speaker 1:Have you seen em this new thing called bed rotten?
Speaker 2:Yes, what the hell? Like I, just I don't break it at all, in my opinion.
Speaker 1:This is from her die, so, if no one knows, bed rotten has divided the internet as the trend takes over young people. So basically, long story short bed rotten is. A day in bed is basically what it is. But they're saying that's the younger generation are like normalizing it. So Like they're saying it's a coping mechanism to struggle with anxiety and stress, which is, and we've all did days in bed and we're tired and stuff. But I think the problem is they're normalizing that as to make it like a behavioral thing. So and then people are saying like actually bad for your mental health to You're doing that long term. I think is what the moral of the story is, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Definitely like. In my opinion and this is just my own opinion like everyone has down days Okay, they do like when you're feeling shitty or you just have a lot going on or you know you're. You just need that downtime. I get it, but I find staying in bed like for the whole day, for the duration of the day, or for even two days, like even when I feel sick, I have to get up shower.
Speaker 2:Make my. I need to move my body and if you like somebody that's suffering with anxiety or depression or anything like that, me, stay like they like they need to get out. We need fresh air. Go for a walk. I don't believe staying in bed is gonna help. If anything just puts you into a more darker place. What you think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. Like even when I was sick there like two weeks ago and had like like a day in bed, I felt rotten, like I was like I need a shower, needs to go work a fresh air, like when it's ground. Obviously, if you're sick you have to stay in bed. But yeah, it's just. I think it just makes you feel nearly more lethargic if you're like, if you're doing a long term thing staying in bed. Now this is on someone else, the happier human claim. Bed rotting is empowering and helps you cope with stress and anxiety.
Speaker 2:But like who's to say this? See, this is what I hate with like ice cream and stuff like that. Hmm, right and the younger generation would read this and they're just saying well, it's saying that on the internet, so it must be true.
Speaker 1:Yeah you know what I mean like yeah, and then the Adder that can help to avoid burnout and mentally recharge. I get that like I feel like, yeah, fair enough a day a day, like rest, like even like no, maybe a lion on a Sunday, like that helps him mentally recharge and stop sparing out. But I think they're trying to like make it like cool that.
Speaker 2:It's okay to eat your breakfast, lunch, dinner, your work, your homework, everything in bed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, it's. We're kind of trying to make the trend. That's okay to like, just be a bit of a slop.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I think it's ever since cold or something, though Is it. People just can't get out of that little trap.
Speaker 1:They're just free to go outside. I think everyone is kind of slowing down a bit, which is okay, but, um, yeah, I don't know about this one. Like I like don't get me wrong I love a random Netflix, like Dave, but I'd still get up and shower and like maybe go back and look at Netflix. You know that kind of way. And then, as well, they're saying, like it's a different way to cope with stress and anxiety. Well, there's a lots of other ways to cope with stress and anxiety, like Therapy is like probably a more healthier way to cope with stress and anxiety. Like, do you agree?
Speaker 2:100%. Go talk, you know, talk to somebody, get it out here, get it off your chest out here, resist and go to the gym, go for a walk, do what I always say whatever. Like. Everyone is different in their local mechanisms. If it means go for a walk, do that, run, whatever it's like, so forth. But I personally don't think staying at home, trapped in a room by yourself, or get your friend to come over and just stay in the room yes, I have a little girly chance or whatever book. Go for a walk, get out in the fresh air. This is on like the daylight and you feel 20 times more better like.
Speaker 1:And as well, I feel like if you're in bed all day, it's gonna affect your sleep pattern at nighttime then. So it's gonna like affect that, which is going to be Really more mentally draining so body clock is just going to be absolutely. Let me know if yous are up for this bed rotting trend. If it's all that, the go now.
Speaker 2:You know, maybe we're just too old, vanessa. We're not done with the kids anymore.
Speaker 1:We're not done with the cool kids anymore. You're stuck in this bed rotting trend. So for this week's juicy jammy dodger's dilemma, we have a very, very interesting one. She will do so.
Speaker 2:I'll give it to you now so well girls I hope you're both well and in my late 20s and I honestly don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm a secondary school teacher and I absolutely love my job. Just feels like there's something missing. I've been with my partner since college and he's looking to settle and move to house, but I really would love to travel for a year or two and to get it out of my system. Every time I bring it up, he just says waste and we need to save. What do I do? I feel a little bit trapped. I don't want to have any regrets.
Speaker 1:This is all I think this is like popular with so many people. It's a difficult one, like. I feel like if you have the travel and book, I think you need to do it. I think you need to get out of your system if you have the funds to do it. A lot of people want to travel but they know they don't have the correct job to travel At least secondary school teachers and stuff that can get jobs easier, I feel like abroad and stuff, and you always have a job to come back to. That's the good thing when you're a teacher. So why be nearly same? Why not Do it?
Speaker 2:I would and, to be honest, I do think when you're in a relationship and stuff like that, you do need to compromise. Maybe just sit down and have a chat, because I know myself I just have to get it out of my system. It was just something that was in me for so long. I always wanted to do it. A lot of people don't. A lot of people do want to settle, and that's okay.
Speaker 2:But if you really are wanting to do it and I know it's hard in a relationship to you want to move to the other side of the world and your partner doesn't want to take that step with you, it's quite hard sticky decision to make and you've been together so long so it is quite hard to push them to do that. But maybe if you just say, look, if you really want things to work, maybe we should just try it out, see how it goes. And I do think nowadays, anywhere you go in the world, it can be quite tricky. But if you have a degree and you have yeah, well, I think she's in a good position.
Speaker 1:The way he's saying, though, the way she says I bring it up, he says it's a waste of time. He shuts her down straight away, which is not really unhorror feelings for a seater. So I think she needs to address that. Just say that's something she really wants to do. To be honest, I feel like this is going to go to a bit of an ultimatum. It's going to be like well, I want to go travelling. I would love you to come with me. If you don't, I'm going anyway, kind of a thing.
Speaker 2:So I feel like she's at the stage where she's just like, if she doesn't deal with it now, she's just going to, and I think life is so sharp, you need to make the most of it as you possibly can Like and do what you want to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if you are like that in the position, like that with the job finance To do it, I would do it. I feel like it's like. I just don't really like that, like oh, it's a waste of time, we need to save, but that's, it's just like he's being a bit selfish and it's his opinion and not saying Definitely, I don't know like it's time to sit down and be an adult about it, because you know, it's not that they're teenagers anymore.
Speaker 2:They've been together through college. They don't know the fun stuff yet. But maybe just tell them it's just a year thing. You know, they make so many good memories.
Speaker 1:And as well, like if they do get good jobs out there, they probably will come back with double the amount of money, especially if you go to like Australia and stuff, so like they'd probably have more money perhaps. So, like, even try compromise that way. Do you know what I mean? Like, go out somewhere, travel, no, like Australia is great, you know well. Yeah, I think there's going to be an ultimatum here. What do you think? I think this is going to be a tricky one. I feel like she has the bog and she needs to do it, and I don't think I think if she goes along with just saving for the house and builds her house, yeah she'll be happy, but I think she'll always have that bit of like Presentment towards him if he does try compromise with her 100% a common degree anymore, especially in a relationship, and you'll know that yourself.
Speaker 2:So, like you have, to meet in the middle of things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, do you know what?
Speaker 1:I mean you have to compromise Like what is such a tricky one, though, like I feel like that when you do finish, I feel like the only do like when you do everything, like you do your leave and start your go to college, get like your job, I feel like the next pressure like of society is all we have to get a house. So it's like normalised, that's the routine you have to do, and I feel like when I want to kind of like Step out of that and go travelling, like in their late 20s, people in there will be like oh god, you're leaving a bit late, go, kind of thing, aren't they Like it's like it's like judgmental, nearly, because you're not doing it by like the steps. You know what you're meant to do.
Speaker 2:I think we're just so gone past the steps. Now, though, yeah, so we're just off to a much bigger place. Like you know, to get out there and see it like back years ago was completely different. You know, it was just the norm to settle down 22, like being married with kids and whatever. Don't get me wrong. Some people still love to do that, and that's perfectly fine, but they need to be acceptance for other people as well, and whatever they want to do, they should be accepted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know exactly. I totally agree. So best of luck, anuagal, and just get the courage, say it to your man. That's just what you really want to do, and if he doesn't like compromise, then maybe not the one you know. Just give it time, time will tell. And best of luck. Yeah, and don't forget to send us your levels at the Bougie's Bonds podcast at wwwfemalecom. So for this week's topic, we have questions that are not acceptable to ask on a first date. Have you ever got a weird question on a first date?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, like I don't know, I can't from the top of my head I can't really like think of like a very strange one. I think I've been quite smart with first dates and who to pick. I always feel like I've never gone on like a random, like blind first date, like I've always tended to know the person beforehand. That makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, makes you've never did like a Tinder date or anything.
Speaker 2:I have never gone on a Tinder date. Yeah, I don't know about freaking me out Like I don't think I could like I've heard all these horror stories and stuff about and then I hear like people get married from it. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, because most people I think do. It's like you go on a date for someone who knows someone, or someone who knows someone like recommend it, but like I don't know, like do many people go on like random blind dates with someone they know nothing about? Maybe they do, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Do they do, because I know a lot of people that do, but I just personally can't. I feel like I need to be in contact with the person or know them. Yeah, before I go website.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, yeah. So like these are 15 of the best questions to ask on a first date, according to relationships experts. Now, I don't know, like the first one, what made you interested in going out with me. I don't. I think I'd feel really awkward, or someone said that to me.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm a bit too forward for a first date isn't it Like it's? Like you know, when you're like six months or three months, the line was like, and then you're like I'm just curious to know on what made you actually interested.
Speaker 1:Exactly Because you get to know someone. Like if someone said that to me in the first date, I'd be like bro, I've only literally sat here for like 10 minutes, which you're like chill the fuck out. Do you know what I mean? Like yeah, like I think that I just be like nearly an ache, like a red flag, like good luck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just strikes me as someone that's like I don't know too much, like too much craving yeah, validation, yeah, yeah, Okay, number two what are you looking for?
Speaker 1:I get, I think this is. Yeah, I think this is all right because, like you're, like you're trying to figure out people's values and stuff, and I feel like, especially if you're trying to cut the bullshit, like you're like oh, like I think that's okay to ask, but not like maybe like about a couple of hours into the date, like or like relax, like you don't want to sit down and I feel like if you're a lot older and you're both kinds of at that age where you're like, I wonder you know exactly here they look for if they're just looking like.
Speaker 2:You know, friends of benefits are actually looking for something. I think that's an okay one task, to be fair.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that is an okay one task. Yeah, like you're not going to run away if someone think I see that. Number three, what matters to you, like. So asking questions that are too specific, like what are your hobbies, can intentionally isolate the other person. Maybe they don't have hobbies, but asking what matters to them will so split response for sure, like 100%.
Speaker 2:I'd ask that question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, but I think I'd phrase it differently. I think I'd phrase it differently. I'd be like oh, so what would your like day look like? Be more of a kind of a?
Speaker 2:What would your day look like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you know, like what do you do every day?
Speaker 2:Melissa just wants to do your personal schedule planner on your day to day.
Speaker 1:Are you a bedrotter? Are you a bedrotter? Do you enjoy bedrottling?
Speaker 2:Come down and bring some jelly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, basically, at the baseline, any question that gets to the other person's values is useful. Yeah so, like you want to know what other people are interested in, because you're not going to really like there's not going to be wasting your time though either. Like if you're in a first date, like if they aren't completely different things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like this is why I personally need to know the person first, because a first date is not an hour to hours Usually like over dinner or coffee maybe it depends on your schedule. You don't waste it. And then it's awkward because you're like, okay, bye, never gonna speak to you again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. No, I get you Number four. When you think of recent big political events, is there something that stands out to you? I would not be saying that in the first date, Like.
Speaker 2:Oh, you had actually his questions. Yeah, even if this is more very Americanized.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it says the old age dating rule is not to talk about religion or politics on the first date. This is kind of outdated, to be honest. If it matters to you, you should talk about it. I don't think it really matters about religion or politics for a date Like you know, no, I wouldn't, I genuinely. I'd put that in the bin now. I think we need to get number four now and put that in the wheelie bin, because that's the most ridiculous question.
Speaker 2:That's not going in the bin and it's not being recycled.
Speaker 1:That's not being recycled. That's gone. That's just gone. Number five what does your work-life balance look like? The question has a lot to do with figuring out if they have the skill to be in a healthy relationship. Are they willing to make time for a relationship? Do they put off important social engagements for work? Very interesting, these are all important things to know about potential future partner.
Speaker 2:True. I personally do like to know.
Speaker 1:Are they a family person?
Speaker 2:Yeah. And the work-life as well. Yet you definitely need to know what you're getting yourself into Down the line. It all depends on how much you like them and how much you think they're going to work out. There's no point in asking these questions if you're still unsure.
Speaker 1:I think sometimes yeah, like.
Speaker 2:I get you. I don't know. It's a hard one, isn't it? I don't know if you don't know the person and you're just going straight into a first date and asking something like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like this should be more like a second or two, it's very different, yeah, or just like even a second day question.
Speaker 1:I feel like the first date should be more about connection and chemistry. And then going to the values Maybe, maybe not. Number six what would you do if you had a week off? I feel like this is an interview. This gives you the idea of what they'd like to do in their free time and what they value most. So do they have the travel book? Are they interested in learning about other cultures? Do they like book and holidays, or do they like spending time at home or into animals, etc. Yeah, so I think you need to phrase the difference as well. I think that it has to come up naturally in the conversation. I think if you just deal with these questions, the person would run a mile and they'd get the ache yeah, wouldn't it? Imagine me sitting down and like so what do you do if you had a week off? It'd be scary. You'd feel intimidated, wouldn't you? Do you know what I mean? Definitely, when you spend time with people, how often are you the one making plans? You're a bit personal as well, isn't?
Speaker 2:that it's a bit of a strange one. If I'm being honest, I don't think I would ever ask that question, even when I'm with somebody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know I wouldn't either. Number eight how well do you feel like you compromise with others? You can't build a relationship if you can't compromise. If you ask them this and they flounder, what tells you something? All by itself? I just feel like these are all a bit too intense for the first day, aren't they?
Speaker 2:I don't really get it. I don't even think if I'm with somebody I'd ask I don't know, they're a bit deep. Yeah, it's a bit deep. Yeah, it's like something that you kind of ask when you're like A couple of weeks. Yeah, when you're drunk, do you know those drunk chats that you have with?
Speaker 1:people, yeah, the deep drunk ones.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I personally I don't know. What do you think?
Speaker 1:Those last two, definitely not Number nine. What do you think is important for a healthier relationship? Welcome for a serious relationship. This is a question to answer. Knowing what your values are and asking about those specific values is how you get to know someone.
Speaker 2:I think, though, like Joan, if that's a question that you're asking someone on the first date, they're just going to tell you something that you want to hear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I feel like with these questions you nearly have to like Wiggle your way around for like a little while to find the real answer behind the like characteristics of someone like. I feel like people can bullshit a lot.
Speaker 2:Definitely. I always say, though if you want to know me, come live with me.
Speaker 1:Yeah like you know.
Speaker 1:I mean Okay, never really don't know a person until you're actually like Around, yeah yeah, or even just hanging around with them, like I mean Number ten, how do you handle conflict? I'm sorry, but these are like interview questions like this is like something, this is like something you'd get in your first, like going in for a job role, like like. And I think, like, as you said, like how do you handle conflict? Like that is something that you pick up by their like Behavior over, like a little while I don't think like these are good questions to like be aware of in maybe the start of your relationship. I don't think you're going to first date and like how do you handle conflict? Like they're running a mile, they would run a mile, like.
Speaker 2:Like I'm asking someone that well, I just punch them in the face. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Here's number eleven. What is something in past relationships you needed to work on? Like I don't even think that, like that would even come into question At all in any relationship.
Speaker 2:like I don't think they ended the last relationship like obviously it didn't work and I don't know if they were in a relationship. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Now it does say and does this person reflect and how does this person hold themselves accountable If they answer by casting blame on anyone else? To write red flag yeah, I get that so, like if it's our dog and their ex in the first date, it's a red flag Like I don't even think what is something in past relationship you need to work on. You'd even like discuss really what your partner like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It kind of just I don't know if I want to know someone's whole like relationship, but then again I do because it explains a lot about the person. So I just have a thing. It's like If someone has been in multiple like long term relationships.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. Do you think that's a red flag? Someone's been in, do you?
Speaker 2:A lot of like.
Speaker 1:I think it's a very much self a red flag, like long term relationships, like two or three years, and they're with somebody and they could have like Six to ten relationships and they're like I'm just like no, and then they try blame, like their ex, like the girl and do you think, like I think this is a bit of a red flag, as you said, right, someone in the long term relationships, but constantly been out of relationship and within like a week, hop into a new relationship, been with someone for like two or three years, as you said, hopping out and then a week later they're with someone else for two or three years, like there's never any.
Speaker 2:No, I feel like it's an insecurity thing, though, with a man when he does that are women I think you need to like when you're in a relationship. You need to find yourself again afterwards and then I see like what men it's like they definitely pulled a few strings in the previous relationship. When they move on that fast, like because Like you can just get into a relationship after a week, you are definitely cheating or messaging or Like something on the slide 100%.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. No, I agree. Yeah, it's just, it's a bit icky, like it's a bit red flag, isn't it? Okay, listen to this one. What was your first impression of me? This is a good question to ask when you're well into a date, you know when it's been a successful even so far and you've had a quite moment to reflect, can help you get a sense of it over the paying attention to you or not. Well, like, I just think that's if the if, like a man said that to me, what was your first impression of me? I'd be like you're a needy little narcissist. Yeah, no, I couldn't. No, no no.
Speaker 1:What made you most excited about going on a date with me? Fuck.
Speaker 2:No, if someone asked me that, I'd absolutely miss myself laughing. Yeah, like I don't know, I just think these are all great questions to ask somebody.
Speaker 1:These are the most awkward question and this is from, like, women's health magazine, so like I don't read it. Like no, I get right, I get the context behind. Like what they're saying, yes, you can look out for in relationships and makes a good relationships, but like I don't think you'd go in and ask these questions, because if you went in right and asked all these questions, you would never have a relationship because people would fucking get on a boat and go to another country and never.
Speaker 2:They're proper interview like caught to the core, deep.
Speaker 1:Listen to this one. It's just the last one. What is the best gift you've ever received? This is another easy breezy question. If you're reaching for something, it gives them a chance to talk about something they enjoy Like no like. It sounds materialistic, for a start, asking someone what's the best gift you ever received, as if, like I, would get the impression that the tank Was it like who is it me? Yeah like no. I don't know if you are going on the first date. Don't ask those questions.
Speaker 2:So this but you can be like flying sky high here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like if you ask these questions or someone asked you these questions, like you were going to not have any dates and it's just going to be really, really awkward and yeah, disaster, absolutely. Someone actually wrote in and I was asking about questions that they got asked on a date and they said do you clap when the plane lands? Is someone Someone? No, you swear to God. So you clap with the plane lands, like what?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. I actually remember like two years ago, when you're going on holidays, like when I was really young, my mom used to be flying or whatever, and like when we're taking off, she'd always like pray and her head being between her knees and I'd be like what the hell are you doing? Really, we land and now I'm just like you're a Nick man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I am. I don't pray, but I am very weird. On a plane Someone asked actually asked a girl how much did she weigh on a first date? There's no way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, unless it's a personal trainer, then okay, fair enough, like.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:We've all had those, but like and then another lad asked this is another correspondence that they're all in are you fertile? They asked her what the fuck? I'm going to get sick. Like I didn't see him down with someone. They asked me are you fertile? I've like, well, I don't really know.
Speaker 2:Like I mean, I'm a lot, I don't know. That's a bit not on a first date, like if you know the person a long time, yeah, fair enough.
Speaker 1:but I don't know if I'm on a second date and your man said to me wouldn't be, wouldn't it be nice if we had, if we had our wedding reception here? I seriously just nearly died and he was being dead serious. This is the second date, lads. Oh my god, no, someone said to you as well, man to a girl, do you normally eat this much? I could see someone saying that to me in the first day.
Speaker 2:I'm probably the same. If I'm being honest, I won't die.
Speaker 1:I would like yeah, what's your problem?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't share go away, go away. Like and then last one don't ask those questions.
Speaker 1:No, no right. Last one, does this look infected to you and show me? Show me his fingernail.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, I'm gone. No way if someone done that to me now. No, no chance.
Speaker 1:Well, so for our little fact of the week we have. Cockroaches have been around for a very long time, even before dinosaurs.
Speaker 2:Dun, dun dun. Oh my god, that's actually insane Is not my eyes dinosaurs extinct and like yeah, cockroaches to allow.
Speaker 1:Yes, they obviously survived like that's mad, that's insane. So now that'll get your brain thinking that's just because it just makes me not believe anything.
Speaker 2:They say anything, they tell us.
Speaker 1:So now for our little game of the week, right, so we have this or that, and is it? Is it your type, since we're talking about dating questions? Alright, so, mom, okay, so taller or shorter, taller Togative or twice Togative, short or long hair, short Bad vibes or cute vibes.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I'm a little bit toxic, aren't I, when it comes to stuff I don't know. Like, when someone is like extremely cute, I'm like nah. And then when they have like a little bit of a baddie and I'm like oh hello, I don't know, I don't know what to pick. I think I have to say cute, because if they're too bad, then I'm like nah.
Speaker 1:Looks or personality. Personality Older or younger, older Glasses or no glasses.
Speaker 2:I don't know, sometimes they can look good on me. No glasses, okay shy or outgoing.
Speaker 1:Outgoing Polite or funny.
Speaker 2:Oh nah, they have to be funny, they have to make me laugh 100%.
Speaker 1:Someone who drinks or doesn't drink.
Speaker 2:See, there needs to be a happy, steady balance with this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you don't want, like an original alcoholic no I don't like a session head.
Speaker 2:It's not me.
Speaker 1:You don't want to like rave.
Speaker 2:Because, no, I just couldn't. Oh, I don't know, that's a hard one.
Speaker 1:Can.
Speaker 2:I maybe just say like maybe I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think we'll just say mm for that. There's no year in. All of us Intervert or extrovert.
Speaker 2:I don't know, sometimes I don't know, melissa, I'm kind of in between that one as well, because I feel like when someone is like too too outgoing, kind of it can be too much, yeah, and then I don't want someone sitting at home all day on the PlayStation like get up, get it on with your life.
Speaker 1:I don't know. So you want to go mm for that one as well?
Speaker 2:We need a button that says mm. People are going to be listening to this and we, like, don't be making those noises.
Speaker 1:Well, that is our dessert. That what is Simone's type. So, if you tick all the boxes, give her an LDM, slide into her DM, slide in, slide in. Well, thank you very, very much for listening to this week's podcast. Make sure that you follow us on every podcast platform you're listening to. Give us no follow on Spotify or Apple, and make sure to follow our Instagram as well, and we will see you next week. See you next week, Bye, bye, bye.