Hey guys
Welcome to the Boujee blondes, Ever found yourself blindsided by a friend's romantic betrayal or caught off guard by your own fluttering heart in the workplace? You're not alone. Our latest episode peels back the layers of infidelity, from the hallmarks of serial daters to the often overlooked dangers of emotional cheating. We scrutinize the shifts in trust when cheating is exposed, the complexities of navigating friendships amidst jealousy, and the allure of forbidden workplace romances. Plus, we tackle the tough subject of money's influence on a partner's fidelity. It's a candid look at the facets of cheating in the modern relationship landscape.
Have you ever been love bombed? We dissect this manipulative tactic, providing you with the know-how to spot and sidestep the love bombers in your life. We share insights into how quick whirlwind romances can spiral into emotional turmoil, and discuss the importance of setting boundaries to protect your heart. With a reflective look at the true value of personal well-being over material success, we offer a reminder that the foundation of a fulfilling life goes beyond career and wealth.
Rounding off with a lighter touch, we chat about prepping for a fitness photoshoot and the creative beauty hacks that come with it. Because who hasn't needed to keep their cool in the spotlight? We leave you with an empowering affirmation about embracing imperfections and invite you to join the conversation by sharing your own stories and challenges. Tune in for a mix of deep discussion, heartfelt advice, and a dose of humor.
Melissa & Simone
Hey guys
Welcome to the Boujee blondes, Ever found yourself blindsided by a friend's romantic betrayal or caught off guard by your own fluttering heart in the workplace? You're not alone. Our latest episode peels back the layers of infidelity, from the hallmarks of serial daters to the often overlooked dangers of emotional cheating. We scrutinize the shifts in trust when cheating is exposed, the complexities of navigating friendships amidst jealousy, and the allure of forbidden workplace romances. Plus, we tackle the tough subject of money's influence on a partner's fidelity. It's a candid look at the facets of cheating in the modern relationship landscape.
Have you ever been love bombed? We dissect this manipulative tactic, providing you with the know-how to spot and sidestep the love bombers in your life. We share insights into how quick whirlwind romances can spiral into emotional turmoil, and discuss the importance of setting boundaries to protect your heart. With a reflective look at the true value of personal well-being over material success, we offer a reminder that the foundation of a fulfilling life goes beyond career and wealth.
Rounding off with a lighter touch, we chat about prepping for a fitness photoshoot and the creative beauty hacks that come with it. Because who hasn't needed to keep their cool in the spotlight? We leave you with an empowering affirmation about embracing imperfections and invite you to join the conversation by sharing your own stories and challenges. Tune in for a mix of deep discussion, heartfelt advice, and a dose of humor.
Melissa & Simone
I know plenty of guys like this and they just jump in and out of relationships, like they literally will be like on top of them, like literally a dirty red rash, and then they will. They will nearly end the relationship in their own head before they tell the girl and they'll already have an ex-girl lined up. Yeah.
Speaker 1:We all know one, we all know one, and I know one, and they will be on to that girl like a week after the break with the first girl, and then they'll do it again. It's the Bougie Blondes podcast with Melissa and Simone, available on Spotify, apple or wherever you get your podcasts. Now let's get bougie. Hi, I'm Melissa, hi I'm Simone. Our podcast is serving you.
Speaker 1:Bestie vibes, we are just two country girls chatting about all things we struggle with daily life and, of course, talking about certain issues that some people are afraid to speak about. We give it to you real, while having crack along the way. Remember, these are just our opinions, gals, so don't take us too seriously. We're just giving you some best friend advice. Welcome. Welcome everyone to the Bougie Blondes podcast. How are you all so? Today we're going to be talking about cheating partners. What's your views on this, simone?
Speaker 2:My views on this is that I feel like men definitely cheat more so than women. Respectfully, yes, I do. I just feel like we have completely different mindsets. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying every man out there is the same, but I just feel like it's more common for a man to cheat more so than it is a woman that's because they just have horns on them the whole time.
Speaker 1:It's the truth. They're going around with the horn like and they don't care like love, doesn't come into it, it's just the horn. They're after the horn, that's it they're after the horn they're after the horn. That's what they're a bit like. They don't, they don't care like, because I think women, we like, we base like sex on love yeah to an extent definitely where I think men it follows after, do you?
Speaker 2:know. Even at that, though, I feel like they can just dip and dab and run away dip dab.
Speaker 1:They're dipping dabbing. Do you remember the dip dabs years ago? I love them.
Speaker 2:I know it's like men we always love the dickheads yeah, literally love it but like I, I don't know I just I genuinely don't feel like that, that that is the way and I feel like it's just getting worse.
Speaker 1:It really is would you forgive a cheating partner?
Speaker 2:is the big question no no, I know everyone makes mistakes. I've been there, I've done that. You know I would never. It's a horrible feeling. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy like I just. I just think, once bitten, twice shy, and I just yeah. I'm not here for it at all, because it's not that it's all like the things that come afterwards, it's like you know in the back of your head what are they doing. You're kind of second guessing the whole relationship like. It's like starting all over again.
Speaker 1:The trust is just gone, I think yeah, no, it is, and I think, yeah, like you cannot have a relationship without trust. No, can't you not like?
Speaker 2:no, you can't, I just. I do feel, though, like I know, like in relationships when you're with someone for a really long time, like you can get a bit like you know not born, but like you just feel like you want to explore something new or whatever it may be, but if you are like, if your head is turning, I feel like you need to call it a day as such. Like, don't get me wrong, everyone can look and everyone can say like someone's good looking, or whatever. When you go, go full force in, I just feel like it's very disrespectful. I'd rather like call it a date with someone than like cheat, in my opinion, yeah and it is like that, like not.
Speaker 1:I think feel like at the start of every relationship you have the butterflies and excitement and then it dies down. That's normality as well. Like I think we're meant to believe that it's meant to be this like fairy tale relationship, which is not the case. There's going to be boring times and shit times, but I think a relationship is like you're building more of a bond, like on values, rather than just that like sex, like you know what I mean yeah, definitely do, you know.
Speaker 2:I just don't feel like this generation has a little bit of effect, though do you comes to it like it, there's just too many options, especially through social media. Like it's just, I don't know. I feel like everyone is just craving something better and looking for something better constantly. It's like the minute you open your phone, you're just I don't know do you think it's served on the plate easier to people?
Speaker 2:definitely like years ago, when you think about it, like even your grandparents or your mom and dad, like they didn't have social media, like it was just people in their town or wherever. But you can connect to someone in China if you wanted to do.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean like quite a lot of people, though, years ago had affairs that we oh yeah, like don't get me wrong, it happens, but I just I do feel like it's it's more so now. Yeah, I don't feel like a lot of people like tend to like stick to that unless you're with someone like I don't know what many, many years do, you know what I mean and you have stability and you know their ins and outs, like, or whatever.
Speaker 1:But I just feel like now, if you're getting into a relationship, you just really have to be aware and there's so many like dating sites now that like men are or women can go on to and have like. Do you see that Netflix program, what was it called? I can't think of it now, but they all got caught out where like men and women, it was like a site for married men and women where they could go on and just randomly meet up with people, yeah. And then they got hacked and everyone's information got out there. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I need to watch this it was really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but like there's so many sites like that now, where there is a lot of like married women or married men and women just going and having hookups, like it's mad but no, it's sad, though I don't think it's sad it is sad, like, but then you see um, you see, all these like polyamorous relationships, now, like, which is mad people love an open relationship now I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like it's gone so popular, which actually has me intrigued. I actually seen Charlene Nelly's program on RT player and they actually discussed this topic and they went like yeah, and they went and spoke to um, like people who are polyamorous and like they were like you'd never go back.
Speaker 2:They say, when you do it once, yeah no, I personally I couldn't like the thoughts of like my partner being with somebody else just makes me feel it would make me feel sick so one of them.
Speaker 1:They were like a married couple, but they both had a boyfriend and girlfriend. Isn't that weird? Like they live in the same house of one another, but they each had a boyfriend and girlfriend and sometimes, like the four of them would just hang out.
Speaker 2:No, no, I'm sorry, yeah, no.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I wouldn't like fair play to anyone who do it, but I just I don't think I'd be able to. That's not a swinger like I said the four of them don't actually get on, but they'd hang out yeah, I don't like that, don't like that at all. You have like the troubles you know.
Speaker 2:I just don't think that I feel like we're built, like we're on this planet, like to find your soulmate and a soulmate connection and be with that person. I can create a family or whatever. Don't get me wrong, probably getting a bit too deep, or maybe I'm old-fashioned, I don't know I don't I don't think there's nothing wrong with being old-fashioned, though like, yeah, I do, I do.
Speaker 1:I think as women, we do want that fairy tale ending. Yeah, do you know? I want to be sharing like but like even to be in a trupple which is like three people, like the thoughts of having listening to two men would drive me mad, like one is enough, like the hard work you know. Imagine listening to two men like no, no, thank you, no, not a chance.
Speaker 1:I couldn't do it no, but I do think that we are. I do think everyone has a soulmate, but more than one soulmate. So, like I think that maybe every relationship isn't meant to last, only has a certain timeline, and then you're meant to find your next soulmate, like I think it depends on, like the time of life, time in your life, that you're in as well, do you? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:yeah, and I do feel like people call my.
Speaker 1:It's like a lesson as well, exactly yeah, it's like a lesson of like what kind of person you need that time, and I do think that you can either grow with one another, but then it happens that one person might grow out the other person and then they need a new soulmate yeah, definitely, but we all want that wrong.
Speaker 2:Like that's why I said I'd rather like call it a day than to just cheat and hurt someone else's feelings. Like I just think it's wrong on so many levels. Like don't get me wrong. Like you said, there's people out there that are willing to have these open relationships or whatever, but I just I'd love to get someone on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Actually, who is? In an open relationship yeah, and I'd love to know, like their thoughts on it and like just all the ins and outs. Like I'm really nosy, I want to know everything.
Speaker 1:I know, but I don't, I'm just like how like it baffles me so if anyone is in an open relationship, please get in touch with us, because we need to know more yeah, like I think that'd be such an interesting topic like and very educational for people as well, because I do think it is like becoming more of a normality and people are more open about it now. And, yeah, I'd be interested to get someone on, you know, to have some little chats. Give me all the deeds I need to know everything, everything and down and dirty men are more likely to cheat than women.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 20 of men and 13 of women reported that they have had sex with someone other than their spouse while married. So 20% of men. I actually thought it would be more. Yeah. I did, but I do feel like a lot of people aren't going on with it either no, they're not, they're not but do you think if a man cheats, do you think that he wants his cake and eats it, or he's clearly unhappy in the relationship that he's in but won't admit it?
Speaker 2:personally, I think, obviously, if you're looking elsewhere and not happy with what you have, then I don't even feel like as once as cake and eat. So, obviously, obviously, I feel like, yeah, some men, like most men, like want their cake and eat it or whatever. To be fair, like I think it's a different type of love. I feel like, yeah, they might actually genuinely love the person that they're with or whatever, but they're more intrigued about sleeping with someone else or, you know, going with somebody else. But I do feel like, if you really really, really love the person and like want it to last, that you just want to look at somebody else that way no, I think that I think as well.
Speaker 1:If you do cheat on someone, I think it's just so disrespectful to that person. Um, and even if, like I think don't get me wrong we can all look, doesn't mean we're going to act on it like I do think your actions speak louder than words. Yeah, you can still look at a good looking girl and be like she's good looking, or a good looking man, which is he's good looking, but you're not going to go get into bed with them yeah, exactly like we can look at the roses but we can't pick them exactly Simone, apologies, like I don't know, like, if, like, if you knew someone cheated on someone you knew, would you tell them?
Speaker 2:it depends like it actually don't know, and it depends of how close I am with the person, like a family member. If it's a friend, obviously I'm going to jump up and tell him straight away, you know, I mean like. But if it's just somebody like an acquaintance, I just don't think it's worth even getting involved in the drama, because sometimes, like, people can be a bit deluded into the fact that, like don't they say love is blind or whatever like it's just yeah it's, it's not, it's not worth it.
Speaker 2:And plus the fact it is very heartbreaking because, like I said, like I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and it's heartbreaking to see somebody go through that and go through that pain and then, when it's not coming from a close friend or family member, when you're hearing it from just somebody, you kind of know what to do, like a kick in the teeth as well. So I don't know, I'd probably go to somebody, maybe that that's close with them. I don't think I could personally tell them like it's. It's so much of a sticky, tricky situation.
Speaker 1:I'd only tell like someone that's like a really close friend or a really close family member. I think what happens is as well, especially with girls, like if you tell someone they can kind of nearly take it up as like you're trying to break up their relationship Nearly. It's a jealousy thing and it mightn't even come from that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it is terrible. It might just come from being a proper girl's girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just actually being a girl's girl comes to being a proper girl's girl, but yeah, it's just actually being a girl's girl. But some there is some women who do do it, though, to try split up relationships as well, and sometimes they can like spread lies. But it is sad when you know someone has been cheated on and everyone else knows, but that person doesn't know yeah, and they're so wrapped up in their little bubble yeah, and it breaks like it.
Speaker 2:Just it's sad to see, but oh man it is, but there are 11 common signs of cheating right now, everyone are we listening, listen.
Speaker 1:Let's interrogate our men so changes in communication yes, right. So does that mean like? Does that mean like just them having general chit chat with you kind?
Speaker 2:of like kind of just being a little bit MIA, like say you're like sitting down kind of keep afterwards. Yeah, they're on their phone, they're scrolling. They're not really communicating with you, like they're not being affectionate whatever. Um so changes in communication, increased interest in appearance okay, that is interesting yeah that is like would you think of them like buying new clothes?
Speaker 2:buying new clothes, maybe not getting a haircut every week, maybe two or three haircuts a week. I find men that are very like, willing to get out and about and, you know, get on it.
Speaker 1:They are very, very, very like missionary things, yeah so they're trying to be bougie every week rather than just like for date night with them, kind of a thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. More time spent away from home, that's a proper red flag.
Speaker 1:That's just like a red red flag.
Speaker 2:Yeah that flag ain't red, it's black.
Speaker 1:That's black, like that, doesn't even go into the red flag category, that's just black flag. If your man is not home and is spending time away, you need to get on to the private investigators. I would love, love to be a private investigator. Same love it. I would love to go like spy on men I'm having. I figure that would be my dream job. I could see myself in the car with like the shades and the big, the big camera, like the old school ones, an undercover cheating officer, and I'd wear one of those like you know, those like trench coats, like kind of like Inspector Gadget.
Speaker 2:Inspector Mel take note.
Speaker 1:But that's a black flag, Like that's not even a red flag. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Definitely Attitude changes.
Speaker 1:Attitude changes, Like so being more moody and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just think like if someone's attitude changes towards you like they're kind of I don't know drift, making you kind of drift.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they are, and I think they try to like I see in a lot of relations yeah, they're trying to pick a fight and really push you away, so sometimes you'll be the one to make them feel better. Yeah, a lot of men do that, don't they? It's very manipulative though.
Speaker 1:It is very manipulative. Yeah, it kind of deflects a lot. I feel men do Well, she seems to. This Stanley cup is actually bigger than my like if you measure it, it goes from top of my head to like past my shoulder, um. But yeah, like I feel like they, a lot of men, they're not able to like emotionally connect. So, like what you said, they try to start rows so like it's like their way of communicating but to like push you away nearly and then they like say that it's all you, you're crazy.
Speaker 1:Why do men do this, like I don't, and then we fall into the trap as well, as women have been like you wonder, are you crazy? You wonder are you crazy? Yeah, yeah, because it's like like that as well, like you love them so much that you want to like. I think as women we don't really like rows, so we just want the rows to end. So then, like you just kind of fall into like being a people pleaser yeah, 100%.
Speaker 2:Like I'm the type of person like I just can't stand confrontation at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hate it.
Speaker 2:I will respectfully walk away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I respectfully decline this confrontation.
Speaker 2:Like I just can't, Like, I'd rather just say I'm not interested and walk away. Because you get nowhere with an argument you actually don't.
Speaker 1:And it's just energy draining.
Speaker 2:It really is Lying.
Speaker 1:Lying Of. Of course, that's black again.
Speaker 2:Avoidance, yeah so like maybe, like if it's like a date night or something like that, if you want to see them, they're kind of just pushing it under the carpet as if they have a lot going on or you know they're busy or yeah, they're avoiding spending time with you okay definitely a red flag um changes in your sex life okay, yeah, do you think that's because, like, do you think that it's like they wanted somewhere else, or is it just?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:I see the thing they're getting it somewhere else yeah, they're clearly getting it somewhere else yeah like clearly we won't go into detail yeah, we have the birds and the bees yeah, money issues I'm not sure about this one.
Speaker 1:Is it because money issues in our like in the household is causing rows?
Speaker 2:would that make somebody cheap?
Speaker 1:well, clearly I might. I don't know. It shouldn't like it shouldn't make someone cheap. Well, I don't know, is it like that's? That's a weird one.
Speaker 2:I don't really know what to say about that you know, because for me personally, like if someone is having money issues, if you're in a relationship like that's, when you kind of you're there, it's like a support system yeah in that relationship together and it's just like I don't know, like stressed about money.
Speaker 1:I don't like. Why would that make you want to cheat? I don't get it yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 2:You know change in technology use. Now I don't know what this means.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's constantly being on their phone, their laptop, whatever it may be, or maybe like hiding their laptop and stuff, like you know, like hiding their phone, like not having their phone, you know, just on the table, or, like you know, just leaving it down, like very protective of their phone and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, I'm a bit weird, like weird like that, like I literally bring my phone with me everywhere so do I like my phone is.
Speaker 1:It's like glued to me, it's like it just doesn't move, literally. But I'd have no problem like leaving it down on the table and walking away from it. I think yeah, of course, I think it means, like you know, to be like really you. I think you know, though, when someone is like hiding something, though like on their phone.
Speaker 2:I just feel like, as a woman, you get a gut feeling, you do before it even comes out yeah, you just know in your body tells you that there's something wrong yeah, it's like.
Speaker 1:It's like what? Anything though, I think as women, we just know, and then I think we're like made out to be crazy, and I do. A woman cannot be called crazy by her own like. I think a woman has intuition yeah definitely, and even if she doesn't have proof.
Speaker 2:That's what makes her crazy is because she knows it's true but can't actually prove it yeah, and you do hear a lot of the time like women kind of sneaking their partner's phone, going through and they're finding stuff. But there's a reason why you're doing that. They're making you feel this certain way for you to go through that phone. Yeah, you should never have to feel like that with your partner at all.
Speaker 1:That is toxic yeah, like I feel like they're definitely. You do get that gut instinct to do that in the first place and then if you challenge them over it, like say, before you even do that you're like, oh, you're crazy, she's a crazy bitch or whatever. Yeah, no, women don't come crazy for no reason you know I mean there is that it's a science that they give off yeah.
Speaker 1:So it says here that before 30, the number of married men and women who cheat is about the same 10 versus 11. However, as we age, men become become more likely to stray. This is true not just in midlife, but also in later in life. Reports that infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest at 26%, and it remains high amongst men ages 80 and older, and 24% of men admit to being guilty of infidelity no way yeah, so it's like older men who stray more that is so weird.
Speaker 2:Do you think they're going for younger girls?
Speaker 1:yeah, they are Disgusting. Sorry, it is, it's vile.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's actually like I don't get it.
Speaker 1:I feel like when a man does it and goes for a girl that's like really, really younger than him, it's an insecurity within himself it is like and don't get me wrong like obviously they're seeing beautiful young girls, but like, stick with like a lady your own age, like I just don't, to be honest, I don't.
Speaker 2:I just don't get it like. I know age is just a number or whatever, but like if you're 20 years older than a girl yeah like I'm sorry, I just like like I think it's.
Speaker 1:It's like really weird, like a say like a 70 year old and like a 30 year old but you know what it is.
Speaker 2:So like I know this might sound really weird, because I've asked this question to people, because you do see it yeah, you do see it and don't get me wrong like there is some people who have like we get that, we're not judging yeah, just saying it just seems wrong but like I don't see anything wrong with, like, say, a 40 year old and then a 60 year old, maybe.
Speaker 1:No, that's still weird. I'm still thinking about no, I don't know. No, yeah, I don't. I don't know, oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, it's true, but then again people can be happy, I know.
Speaker 1:And I'm not judging anyone.
Speaker 2:I think if you're not in the situation you can't really judge it. But when I ask this question it's like if a man is doing it right, or a woman or whatever it may be, it's like our brains still feel really young when you're that age yeah you still seem with the same eyes, you still have the same feelings, emotions, whatever it may be. Yeah, obviously we mature like, but I don't, I don't know. Like a man, I just say men are just men.
Speaker 1:I just think like a 78 year old man, but like a 20, 30 year old is just wrong yeah like that could be your grandad. Yeah, no, please stop like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I just, either they're a gold digger or I don't know. They have to be there's no other.
Speaker 2:There's no if spots or maybes about it like I'm sorry, there's not hell nah it's like us looking at a 70 year old man just for his money.
Speaker 1:No, thank you no, I'd rather be poor lads, I'd rather be, I will eat beans on toast for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1:I would no, no, thanks. So, since we've been talking about physical cheating, what qualifies as emotional cheating? This is emotional cheating happens when you establish a close intimate connection with someone who isn't your partner. You can generally tell emotional infidelity apart from simple friendship, because your interaction often involves some sexual tension or romantic attraction. So like do you, do you think that maybe do you think emotional connection is nearly worse than a physical connection with cheating? Yeah, maybe it's deeper nerdy, isn't it?
Speaker 2:I don't know, though it is kind of weird to say, because obviously, like if you have them, feelings for someone, strong connection of whatever it may be they're not actually with them. So they're they're not doing anything wrong. So like I feel like that's where you to kind of decide and control your own mindset yourself, because that's just a bit I don't know what I do. I do get it yeah, still you can't really yeah, but still you can't really it's.
Speaker 1:It's different, but I think, like say someone is like I don't know, like you, just I don't know. It's a weird one to like because you know that it's like deeper than just sex, so it's like, it's nearly like a relationship, but obviously they haven't physically did anything, if that makes sense. Like so. Specific behaviors associated emotional cheating vary. You can usually tell a connection has passed the point of friendship when spend more time talking to or thinking about the other person than your partner, avoid mentioning them to your partner, know they're attracted to you, notice physical signs of chemistry around them, feel less physically or emotionally attracted to your partner, share frustration or dissatisfaction with your friendship with them, wish your partner could be more like them and avoid open communication with your partner. So basically, like, is this just not like like a pending affair happening?
Speaker 2:yeah isn't it literally, and I do see it like happens more so I think in work than anything definitely yeah, especially like in in big office environments.
Speaker 1:I feel, yeah, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:you can see it a mile off, like you can actually see it happening. You can, and me personally, no, I would never, ever ever get with anyone that I work with.
Speaker 1:I just think it's way too much drama yeah, it's too much drama because in case something happens yeah, but do you think? Do you think it's like, do you think those like like say you see it happening? Do you think it is just like a bit of distraction yeah, is is a distraction from their lives, like if, do you think that if these people actually got with each other in a proper official relationship, that would work, or is it just like that thing of like it's a bit of like excitement.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do, yeah, yeah. I think it's more of the excitement and the adrenaline, because you know you're doing something wrong, but you're actually not doing anything wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a dip-dop.
Speaker 2:You want the dip-dop effect, the dip-dop effect. Dip-dop effect. Yeah no, I just could not think of anything worse. Like everyone has like flirty banter or whatever, but like to an extent you know what I mean. Like there's a time where you know where to call it a day. Some people just don't. And I do feel like women can like be very toxic as well as men. Like I feel like some women do kind of push for it as well. Like I do get that. Like we're not just saying that's all a man's fault.
Speaker 1:Like women can be bad too, a lot of women do have like that fetish for married men yeah don't they?
Speaker 2:I don't know why, but I think I think it's more so of looking at a relationship with people and being like I want what they have. Let me try, yeah, yeah, I feel like that's how women kind of look at it.
Speaker 1:To be honest, yeah, and then as well, like when? Like would would you take back an ex now say they didn't cheat, but would you get back with an ex, or do you think they're an ex for a reason?
Speaker 2:No, I think they're an ex for a reason, but obviously like if it was, a couple of years went by or whatever, and like yeah, I don't know, faith brought you together. Maybe it was the right person, wrong time, or something like that. But if they cheated, no, I would never, ever ever come back.
Speaker 1:It's just, it's totally disrespectful.
Speaker 2:I think yeah no, I think like when someone really hurts you and hurts you from within, I feel like there's just no going back and it's just like it's the universe telling you they showed you this for a reason.
Speaker 1:I feel like, even if you break someone's trust, I feel like it'll never be back to the way it ever was. No, I just I don't know like I feel maybe that's just me, but I just I feel like once it's gone, it's gone yeah yeah, I am kind of.
Speaker 2:It's not even just like in in a partner. I just feel like it's in relationships and in general, like with friends, family or whatever, like if someone lies to you, you're always going to have that in the back of your head like well, are they telling the truth?
Speaker 1:and if someone hurts you? I think if someone hurts you as well, it's like when you're around that person, it nearly like you just feel the emotion in your body before you even can tink it. It's like your body feels it before, so you kind of just know like you're just not going to be. Yeah, does that make sense? I feel like your body is like aware of situations before you even think yourself like you can feel it. It's like your intuition feel the vibrations feel the vibrations, just breathe.
Speaker 2:Melissa and simone are here to listen so on this week's josey jammy dodgers dilemma we have hi girl girls, I'm in a bit of a situation ship and seeing a guy for a couple of weeks here and there, but the love bombing is real. Don't get me wrong. I do like him, but it's most definitely too too early to be saying love you. I'm not sure if it's a bit of a red flag or not, as I haven't even slept with him yet. What are your thoughts?
Speaker 1:uh love bombing run. Do not trust men like this. I do not trust them. They're there's something wrong with them. I'm sorry. Insecurity, insecurity, insecurity. And then they'll get you trapped in to you being in love with them, and then they'll just start being a narcissist and start treating you like shit yeah get out now yeah right, I personally.
Speaker 2:I just thought don't think that word should be used unless you're actually proper in a relationship with someone and proper in your place.
Speaker 1:I know plenty of guys like this and they just jump in and out of relationships, like they literally will be like on top of them, like literally a dirty red rash, and then they will. They will nearly end the relationship in their own head before they tell the girl and they'll already have an ex-girl lined up. Yeah, we all know one and I know one. And they will be on to that girl like a week after the break the first girl and then they'll do it again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you know what the thing is with with these people. They're they're cheating because they're already after being with this person. Yes, are messaging this person before they actually move on and I guarantee people listen to this podcast.
Speaker 1:We all know this type of no one. Yes, 100. Love bombing is massive. As Simone said, not even a red flag. This is in black. This is a black flag in the black book. Do not go there. Love bombing is like one of the worst ics. I hate. It's toxic and just something psychopathic about love bombers I just don't get it, neither do I.
Speaker 2:It drives me bizarre, like I just don't know what is wrong with people. Yeah, like if somebody even turned around and said that to me, I would run the other way, gone.
Speaker 1:You'd be on the plane back to Ireland with your suitcases in your hand. No, no, no, Bye.
Speaker 2:Felicia.
Speaker 1:It's like they do. They try to get you trapped. It's like they fall in love so quickly, but then literally in the next day they could be out of love. It's like they're on to next someone else and these people last six months to a year max.
Speaker 1:But these people, the love bombers, have mammy and daddy issues. Yeah, 100 percent, 100 percent. It's mostly mammy issues. Like boys, they have mammy issues and they are love bombers. As you can all probably hear, I have massive opinion on love bombers. I just don't. I've seen it, I've seen them in action, like my own, two green eyes, and they are. They just don't even care, they don't even see what they're doing. They're just narcissists.
Speaker 2:They think it's normal, though, yeah.
Speaker 1:They don't realize what they're doing. That's what the scary thing about it is.
Speaker 2:Do you know, what scares me even the most, just because we're on the topic, is the fact that they don't like being on their own.
Speaker 1:Not even for a week. Yeah, yeah, that's actually very true. Yeah, because they're constantly on into. Yeah, they're not even like, they're not even like seeing someone. They're like in a full-on, blown relationship within a week and they're buying the next girl a puppy, a cat, a donkey and like bringing her to trips to Paris within a week. Do you know? They're mental crazy. Absolutely so, girl. You've heard it here now from the two of you.
Speaker 2:Some girls are actually really gullible as well.
Speaker 2:They do fall hard for it yeah, but that's us as women, though, like because we we love, like the fairy tale ending, so we do get sucked in, even unintentionally you feel like, though, when someone does say that to you, that you kind of you're like, hmm, do you feel like that's what some some of them do, some girls like, do you feel like they kind of somebody's saying this and you're kind of like in a bit of a weird situation, like I do get where she's coming from as well, like because obviously she does really like him, like she said yeah, I've.
Speaker 1:I think you'll either be one, one or two type of girls. You'll either be totally drawn in with the like, wanting that need for love and like you know the nice relationship, or you'll be like you could resent love a bit like yeah, that's me. But it is easy for women to get like, to get drawn into it, because they're so good at drawing you in like they're not just gonna like to do it sneakily, like you know what I mean, do it gradually. So it is hard to get yourself out of it. And it's hard when she actually does like him but she doesn't love him and now she's going to feel pressure to say it back yeah, do you know, I would just be like, look, let's just see how it goes, and then we can have that conversation.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think she like, I think she should separate out I think, yeah, I think you need out and like even stay away from him for a week and see how he reacts, so like assess his tech sessions and stuff. Like if they become really like overpowering within that week because you've separated from them, then I feel like you need to run. Yeah, that's our voice, girl. Best of luck with that. Now we have our big hat of mystery for a little topic of. So these always scare me because you just never know what's going to come out last week we started crying.
Speaker 1:This week we see. Would you rather have a hundred, ten no, sorry, ten thousand in your bank account every month? Be healthy for life or have a successful career. Pick one of the three. Healthy for life, I'd pick yeah definitely. You can't buy health no, 100%.
Speaker 2:Like I'm sorry, it doesn't matter how much money you have in your bank account. If you're ill there, there's no good.
Speaker 1:No, and I know money can fix, obviously like your health. But then, like I don't know, I just think we really underestimate like our health and like wellness, don't we?
Speaker 2:Definitely, and it's only when, like, push comes to shove and when you are ill that you realise this, like other than that, that you kind of just go around day to day life like I get that we're all the same, but yeah, yeah, I'm with you on that one, like early really for me, it's like I think as I got a bit older, I really started to like, want.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I've never, only in the last couple of months. I'm like I want to live longer, like I want to be able to enjoy life at like 80 or 90, even like my granddad, like do you know what I mean? He's so like healthy and like I just want to be able to have that like still be going to, like yoga classes at like 85 and like having a coffee out in the street, dressed up with my friends and not be like sick. Do you know what I mean? And I I've really started to like, want that now. So that's why like, even like, do you know? Like running and stuff, like you want to just your heart, healthy life, yeah, like and just choosing what you put into your body, like to try, do you?
Speaker 2:know like staying alive and kicking for as long yeah, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:yeah, well, that's our little bougie hat of the week. So for our week we're going to do a little weekly roundup of our week. How was your little week, simone?
Speaker 2:my week was tiring, but I was absolutely delighted because the last few weeks I have worked crazy freaking hours. So I actually had this weekend off and I'm not working at any more weekends. I put my hands up and say it for a very long time but I went on a little staycay. It it was really nice. And then I had my friend's birthday. We went to brunch and then we'd done a yacht party last night, so that was really nice and had to go to work this morning. So I loved that for me. But I don't feel one bit hungover, even though I haven't like drank properly in like four weeks.
Speaker 1:Were you actually drinking last night?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I went out you to the brunch and then we came home, got changed and then we went to a beach club and went on the boat last night and I actually you know what it is. So I didn't actually drink that much yesterday, the night before I did, but I feel absolutely fine. I don't know if it's because, like, I haven't drank in so long that maybe I didn't over indulge in what I'd usually drink.
Speaker 1:I get what you mean. I feel like it's hit or miss, isn't it like? Yeah, it just depends on your mood.
Speaker 2:I feel, with alcohol, like definitely and you know what I find as well, like Joe back at home and stuff like that, when something is so repetitive and you're going out the whole time, whatever, like it gets like that here just feel like no matter what country you're in in the world, like it just gets really boring when you do the same thing, so isn't it?
Speaker 1:mad. You adjust to your like environment, to surroundings, you know. I mean, you just were like oh, I'm like bored of that yeah, but it was really nice, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, how was?
Speaker 1:yours, same me, me madness is what I call. This month it has been like amazing but bloody hell. The same as yourself. We have been busy bees. The workload is pressureful, but yeah, just working, working, working. But I cannot wait. I'm so buzzing for my holiday right now yeah. I can only imagine oh, I just can't wait. So yeah, I'm over to Ibiza twice in like a month, which is mental um, we can, and then I have the photoshoot over there as well, so so, you're going to Ibiza twice in a month.
Speaker 1:I'm going to Ibiza in two weeks for a photoshoot and then oh, my God really. Yeah, and then I'm going back. I didn't know this. Yeah did I not tell you? Yeah, so I'm doing a photoshoot over in Ibiza, like literally I'm flying over for like 48 hours and then I'm back then two weeks later, then for my holiday for a week.
Speaker 2:Amazing, that would be, sick. What's the photoshoot for? It's just another fitness photoshoot yeah. I'm so excited. I love that for you so much.
Speaker 1:I'm well done yeah, it's going gonna be so nice. Just the heat.
Speaker 2:I'll probably have the makeup like melting off me, simone, it's gonna be like so hard to keep it on like you'll be, fine, at least you'll have people there to like help you yeah, I know, powder, powder, powder, all the way put the hairspray on your face.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you that is going to be um necessary, that is non-negotiable. The hairspray is going on the face. It's the only thing I have to.
Speaker 2:You know what people might think I'm absolutely bonkers, but I saw this girl doing that over here when I moved over here last year and I was like there's no way, I swear, forget it. Throw the setting spray in the bin, because 40 degrees the hairspray will stay, not the best for your skin.
Speaker 1:But it works wonders.
Speaker 1:It works, it does work so, on this week's affirmation of the week we have, I embrace myself as I am, with all of my perfect imperfections that's a lovely little affirmation, but thank you so much for tuning in to another episode and make sure you follow us on spotify or apple podcasts and give us a follow on our instagram page. And don't forget to get in touch by dm or an email with any funny stories or dilemmas, or just have a chat. Really so chitty chat, little chitty chat. I'm gonna chat to you next week. Bye.