Embark on a heartfelt journey with us as we unravel the intricate web of emotions that can make or break a marriage. Whether it's the silent battles men wage when grappling with unvoiced feelings or the misunderstandings that arise from divergent emotional expressions between spouses, we tackle it all. We don't just stop at identifying the problems; we hand you the tools to cultivate a language of respect and open communication. Expect to gain valuable insights into articulating frustrations and fostering an environment where respect and honor flourish, particularly in those delicate moments when a husband might feel eclipsed by his wife's relationships with other male figures.
Spirituality isn't just a shared belief system; it's the bedrock of character that can transform a marriage from the inside out. In this episode, we delve into how spiritual growth, grounded in the wisdom of God's word, manifests in the everyday interactions between you and your spouse. Listeners are guided to let the Holy Spirit steer emotions and choices within the relationship for the better. As we wrap up, we offer words of encouragement and hope, reinforcing that perseverance and a deep-seated commitment to spiritual truth can fortify a marriage to withstand life's ebb and flow. Join us, share with loved ones, and let's nurture the seeds for a robust, love-filled partnership.
Embark on a heartfelt journey with us as we unravel the intricate web of emotions that can make or break a marriage. Whether it's the silent battles men wage when grappling with unvoiced feelings or the misunderstandings that arise from divergent emotional expressions between spouses, we tackle it all. We don't just stop at identifying the problems; we hand you the tools to cultivate a language of respect and open communication. Expect to gain valuable insights into articulating frustrations and fostering an environment where respect and honor flourish, particularly in those delicate moments when a husband might feel eclipsed by his wife's relationships with other male figures.
Spirituality isn't just a shared belief system; it's the bedrock of character that can transform a marriage from the inside out. In this episode, we delve into how spiritual growth, grounded in the wisdom of God's word, manifests in the everyday interactions between you and your spouse. Listeners are guided to let the Holy Spirit steer emotions and choices within the relationship for the better. As we wrap up, we offer words of encouragement and hope, reinforcing that perseverance and a deep-seated commitment to spiritual truth can fortify a marriage to withstand life's ebb and flow. Join us, share with loved ones, and let's nurture the seeds for a robust, love-filled partnership.
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Speaker 1:
Hello everybody, welcome to Team Wade, where we're giving you twos so that you can have a successful marriage. We're really excited about this week's topic, which is Get out of your feelings.
Speaker 2:
Get out your feelings, you know how it is Everybody get in their feelings, men in their feelings, women in their feelings, and the marriage sufferer and the children suffer because everybody in their feelings.
Speaker 1:
Women now you mean men have feelings.
Speaker 2:
Oh, you better believe me Men have get in their emotions. You better believe it. We fear some kind of way.
Speaker 1:
Because it's always, you know, women are very emotional, but men, y'all got some feelings too, that y'all be getting in.
Speaker 2:
Oh yeah, we got feelings where we express them a little different.
Speaker 1:
Let's talk about that the differences in how we express our feelings and what's appropriate behavior that's coming out of our feelings, because just because we feel a certain thing does not necessarily mean that we need to express that in our behavior. Sometimes our feelings can get us all jammed up and in a mix. If you are led by your feelings, then your feelings can lead you wrong. So it's important to understand, you know, where to separate your feelings from your actions. So, men, you have emotions, but you express your emotions differently. Ladies, we know that the more emotional we are, the more mowty we can get. But, guys, let's talk about the men's perspective.
Speaker 2:
Okay, Colossians 319, husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
Speaker 1:
Okay, so bitterness is an emotion, oh it's an emotion, it's a feeling. It's a feeling.
Speaker 2:
That men get. You know, men begin to get bitter if they feel disrespected. Yeah, they don't feel that they are being honored properly that there's no submission of the big one if there's no intimacy.
Speaker 2:
So all of those things get me in their feelings. And so when they get in their feelings and when they talk about bitterness for men, that's when men become harsh. They talk harsh, they grunt. They don't want to talk to you, they don't want to do anything for you, they barely want to deal with the wife at all. And so when men in their feelings, it comes across a little different.
Speaker 1:
It's very harsh.
Speaker 2:
Oh, it's very harsh and withdrawn. So men were withdrawn, they're going to cave where they're in their own little world and they don't even want you in that space with them.
Speaker 1:
So let's talk about that, because that can pose a lot of problems in the marriage. And we're going to talk about the women the woman and the wife in her feelings as well, and so when the men become that way, well, we need to talk about ways to prevent you from getting in that predicament or, you know, of course, identify when you're heading that way, because that can be detrimental to our marriage.
Speaker 1:
Because if you display those things, that those bitter behaviors, then it could send a signal to your wife as if you know you no longer want her, you no longer want the marriage, and it can put her in a certain space. So let's talk about how can men or husbands, how can we identify when we're heading that way and what are some ways that we can prevent them from heading that way.
Speaker 2:
Well, the way that the men can prevent themselves from getting in that space is they're going to have to communicate. They're going to have to express to their wife their frustration with something that she's saying or something that she's doing or that she's not doing, and so a lot of times the man he would just internalize. Because, women are more expressive with their emotions, but most men are not as expressive. Now we live in a different day because you got a lot more men that are. They're more effeminate.
Speaker 1:
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:
I'm not saying you're homosexual, but you may have been nurtured by women. And so that causes you to move more effeminate not more masculine?
Speaker 1:
So what does that look like?
Speaker 2:
Well, many times men, masculine men, are not expressive a lot effeminate men. They get in their feelings and they express themselves like a woman, naggy, you know.
Speaker 1:
So that could be a recipe for a disaster. You got a wife, a husband that's effeminate and acting emotional.
Speaker 2:
Acting emotional, like a woman.
Speaker 1:
Just like a woman. Then you have a woman who's actually a woman.
Speaker 2:
I already am emotional as a woman, which we know you all in your hormone imbalance a lot of times. So women are emotional, but then you got some men. When they grow up around a lot of women, they could display some of those attributes of a woman that they in their feelings. But a masculine man, a lot of times, if he's not expressive with his words, he internalizes, he shuts down and he begin to become harsh. And so to prevent that, you have to say something when it's happening.
Speaker 1:
You got to communicate.
Speaker 2:
You got to communicate. You got to say to your wife hey, I really didn't like the way you said that to me. That came across very disrespectful, and especially you say this in front of children or in front of other people that you say something or you cut me off and it looked like you are the head of the house and make me look like I am your helper and you're not my helper. So things like that, that come across very disrespectful, can cause men to get to that place of bitterness and also a lack of intimacy, a lack of the wife responding to the words of her husband, that she just disregarded his words. And then she may have a male boss and she listened to the male boss, or she have a pastor that's a male and she listened to the pastor, or an assistant pastor or whoever in authority in her life and she is listening and responding to those male leaders more than she responded to her husband and he's going to feel some kind of pipe away.
Speaker 2:
And he's going to feel disrespected, he's going to feel dishonored, and so, and now, he also may begin to accuse you that you must have something going on with them when the reality is you're just not properly honoring like you should, and so this is how the husband get into a place of bitterness.
Speaker 1:
So he gave you the recipe or the tools to help to keep you from that place, because that's a real place. And then, on the other side of that, ladies, we know that we were born with way more probably emotions than the husband, so it's really important for us to keep that in check. But some of the things that we do when we get in our feelings, of course, is start running our mouths overly, overly, overly overly running your mouth or nagging.
Speaker 2:
And you're saying things you shouldn't say. While you're in those feelings.
Speaker 1:
Exactly so when you're in your feelings, you really have to be careful about what you say to your husband, that you don't start degrading your husband or comparing them or nagging them or treating them like their children. So all of those things. They come out of our emotions and so we've got to make sure that we keep those emotions in check, that we are able to verbalize what we're feeling or verbalize our emotions in a wise way. So there is a wisdom to channeling those emotions into proper communication.
Speaker 2:
I'm going to say that again.
Speaker 1:
There's a wisdom to channeling those emotions into proper communication so that you can connect with your spouse and have those emotions addressed properly through good communication. Good communication is not you don't never do this, or you always doing this, or why can't you be more like this person, nagging, nagging, nagging. That's not proper communication. That's the wrong way of handling your emotions. And so those are just some basic things that you can start changing to get out of your feelings so that you won't be clashing and creating a platform for your husband to operate in bitterness. Some of y'all creating the platform.
Speaker 2:
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:
You're doing it.
Speaker 2:
What what the Bible say? A wise woman. Beals her house but a foolish woman does what?
Speaker 1:
tears it down with her own hand.
Speaker 2:
So that mean you, you could start tearing your house down Based on some of the things that you're doing right and, and you know what, we also got to be careful, because the Bible say earned sharpening her earn, and so does the countenance of a man's friend. So you got to look at who, who are your friend, who your friends with. Come on now, because are they giving you wisdom or are they letting you let your emotions get out of control?
Speaker 1:
and Validating those wrong emotions.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, that you not do the right thing.
Speaker 1:
Right, because a lot of people listen. When you are in a position where you're hurting, you look for people to help validate your hurt. That's just it. That's just human nature. You looking for people who can identify with what you're feeling and who can identify on my side what you're going through so that they can validate it, and so that's very dangerous.
Speaker 1:
You need people in your life who are neutral, who can under, who can Understand your side of the story as well as your spouse's side, and who will be just in their, in their Counsel to you and not biased, because it's about truth because it's about truth, and it's about Giving you the truth that's gonna help bring your marriage closer together, not validate Emotions it's about the whole being right.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely not one person winning or losing.
Speaker 1:
But the marriage wins the marriage wins. So so you cannot win While in your feelings. No you cannot win is listen. This is a spiritual thing. When you grow and mature spiritually, then you're out of that maturity. It's gonna come right behavior. Out of that maturity is gonna come right choices. So as you grow and develop and you mature spiritually, then that will equate to you making right decisions. That will be better for your marriage relationship.
Speaker 2:
So godly character Means to be morally upright. Upright. So when you are morally upright you want to do what is just, what is right, what is fair, what is righteous. And so sometimes what I see happening people Growing their scripture memorization, they grow in obedience to certain particular scriptures, but they never let their care open to their marriage. Wow, that you got to let see, when you know you got true spiritual growth is when it carry over into your marriage, because the person that you are one with, there's no one else that can smoke things out of your life. Life and show you where you really are, like your spouse like your spouse.
Speaker 2:
So if you really want to know Whether you mature in your walk with God, don't judge it just by your church or family.
Speaker 1:
Come on, or your co-worker. Co-worker, you walk in love, even toward the ones that don't like you.
Speaker 2:
And I did right. I bought them a gift card. Girl, you know I heat coals, a fountain. No, you got to bring that thing home. Come on, it gotta be with the one that's one with you, the one that you around, the one that irritates your last nerve. Yeah, that last nerve need to go to the cross. Come on, you got to get out of your feelings and feel it. Listen, obedience is not feelings base. Doing truth has nothing to do with how you feel. God never asked are you, are you okay with this?
Speaker 1:
Right.
Speaker 2:
How you love your neighbor.
Speaker 1:
How you feel about obeying my word. Jesus never said that in the scripture.
Speaker 2:
How you feel about forgiving.
Speaker 1:
You don't feel forgiveness. You just do it.
Speaker 2:
You just do it, you forget right and you got to tell yourself. I forgive them Because your mind would think one way and you'll feel another way.
Speaker 2:
You have to do and obey, regardless what you are feeling and that is why many of you are not able to progress in your relationship. It's because you in your feelings. It is because you want your feelings to line up with truth first. No, you obey truth first and then your feelings line up with the truth that you just obeyed. You don't obey because you feel like that is so good and I've also.
Speaker 1:
I also Say this that Get out of your feelings and get in the ram of the spirit, because out of being in the spirit, holy Spirit is the one that's gonna get your feelings in check. Holy Spirit, if you are a yielded person to, to Holy Spirit, he will get those feelings in check. I can remember having some, some feelings and some emotions that I wanted to make some decisions, decisions that were not in line with the Word of God. But I got over into the spirit and I and I sought Holy Spirit and he brought those emotions down and he made them line up and my actions lined up with the Word of God. So I'm telling you y'all, don't, don't exclude Holy Spirit from your marriage relationship. Don't exclude him. He's the helper. You bring Holy Spirit to to work with you. Holy Spirit, I need to go to work me and help me navigate all this. Well, bring him into that marriage. He'll help you navigate all of these things that are concerns about your marriage.
Speaker 2:
You got to warn them now when you invite Holy Spirit to do that.
Speaker 1:
It's gonna be some diet.
Speaker 2:
Listen, he ain't. He's not gonna start talking about your spouse, he's gonna start talking about you first. He's gonna get you in check, he's gonna. What he gonna let you really know is this If you dead, dead, people don't feel nothing. So he gonna get you out your feelings. See, he gonna kill feelings, he gonna eradicate all feelings. Yeah, so he's not gonna allow you to have the excuse of well, I'm responding like this because they are doing this. No, he's gonna challenge you to die to what you feel and to obey blindly. To obey Because obeying is the right thing to do and when you sow the seed of obedience, it brings about the fruit of obedience. So because, except a corner, we fall in the ground and die. It abides alone. Somebody got a soul to see first for the marriage to thrive and survive.
Speaker 1:
Come on, that's so good.
Speaker 2:
Amen.
Speaker 1:
That's really good, that is excellent. So I Hope this is blessed you. I Want to invite you all to really pray and ask Holy Spirit, you know, to become involved in your marriage, not just, you know, in your work life or you know, in your church, but really invite Holy Spirit to come and be involved in your marriage, to leading God and direct you first you the one that's listen to this podcast.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and then it will spill over and I believe God is gonna Bring forth great fruit from your marriage just by you doing that. Yeah, thank you all.
Speaker 2:
So much for tuning in. We hope that we say it's something to encourage you, to bless you, to even speak truth that will create change in your marriage. And we just want to encourage you stay in the fight, get out of your feelings and, by truth, in out of the spirit. And so if you also like what we shared, please like it, share it with all of your, your, your cohorts, with all of the people in your community, so they can be blessed by the same content you were blessed by.
Speaker 1:
God bless you. We'll see you next time. Team way signing out.