What would it feel like to just travel, literally look at a map, pick a place, look at a menu, pick some food, eat it and then move on with your life? Like, how would that feel to just be free enough that you can make choices, feel happy with your choices and then move on, enjoy your company and enjoy the conversation, enjoy the view, whatever it is, but that you're not stressed out about what you're about to eat, what you're eating or what you already ate? Hi and welcome to the Air we Breathe, finding well-being that works for you. I'm your host, heather Sayers-Layman. I'm a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and Certified Personal Trainer. I help you get organized and consistent with healthy habits, without rules, obsession or exhaustion.
Speaker 1:
This podcast may contain talk about eating disorders and disordered eating. There could also be some adult language here. Choose wisely if those are problematic for you. Hi, and welcome to this episode on food and travel. Why talk about food and travel?
Speaker 1:
Well, in my own life, eating while I've been out of town has been problematic for a lot of reasons, and then, as a coach, I see this come up a lot with people and I wanted to take a bit of a deeper dive because I've been traveling a lot lately and talk about how it has changed for me. So when I look at many of the situations my clients have been in when it comes to traveling and their mindset about food in their everyday life, then traveling would open this sort of Pandora's box of like, oh my gosh, they have everything, I can eat everything, I want to eat everything. Now I feel bad. This huge cycle of eating more than they felt like they wanted to and then feeling guilty and I would say I would temper all of that with I don't know that they ate more than they should have. They just felt like they ate more than they wanted to. So that whole concept is very loaded and I will break that down a little bit as well.
Speaker 1:
When I used to travel, when I was, we'll just say, like the healthiest eater, when I had an eating disorder and I was very afraid to eat anything that wasn't extremely healthy I've talked about it before, but orthorexia is so applauded in some circles of like, oh my gosh, you've got such great willpower or I can't believe you're not eating that, and it's like, oh, I'm afraid that my food is going to kill me, so that's why I can't eat anything else. It's not a great place to be when you can only eat. I would say you know I had whole groups of foods that I wouldn't eat and you know only eating, whatever you want to call it. You know more whole foods, real foods, clean foods there's so many ways to say it and none of them are great. So traveling like that was so stressful because I either needed to pack a ton of food these are kind of my whatever, safe foods, these are foods that I can eat or the research was intense of okay, so if we're driving and at this time it'll probably be at lunchtime, like what is in this area, at this exit and because it was so limited, like that usually wasn't very much of an option anyway. So it was stressful in a way that I found incredibly unhealthy, and especially to look at it now, because there are certainly people that you know pack their food and will eat only certain things I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:
What was problematic for me and what was problematic was how much stress that caused. Also, how much I put out everybody that was with me. So when my kids were younger and traveled like that, I would definitely bend my rules to be able to eat with them, and that was about the only thing that would make me eat differently. I would also be so stressed about it and I'm sure that it did not look like a normal natural meal because I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm eating this, like I just feel my thyroid getting worse by the minute All sorts of incorrect assumptions I had about food. So, all in all, like it was very disruptive to have to travel because of the way that I was relating to my food and I mean really looking back on it now, it was so taxing, it was really such a drain.
Speaker 1:
And when we talk about, like how unhealthy stress is, well, I was creating tons and tons of stress with this and I see it a lot, you know, in clients because they are traveling then what I perceive and what people have told me, then it becomes more of like what they feel like is a free for all of. Oh my gosh, I can never have this food. So now I'm going to have it. I'm never allowed to eat this and it was really their rules that they had around food were causing them to eat probably more than they wanted to. More than that made them comfortable from everything they were telling me.
Speaker 1:
So there are a lot of different reactions to disrupting your regular schedule, traveling, and how that interacts with food. So I would love to do an episode where it's like here's just five things. But because everybody's all over the map with how they react to traveling, I wanted to talk about some pieces of intuitive helping intuitive helping or intuitive eating that were really beneficial to making travel so much easier, so much more joyful and, above all, I could be so much more present with whoever I was with. Because that's one thing if you are stressing about food, you're not present for the people that you're with. If you are so disturbed by ingredients or what time I'm eating, how much I'm eating, I will tell you, probably not paying a ton of attention to the people that you're with, and that's so costly, because it's not very fun to eat with somebody who is not paying attention to you and they're just really in their head. So I do think that this is really important, because what I see when it comes to healthy habits are people, you know, making rules and making very rigid rules.
Speaker 1:
When the reality is, life will come at you and life is not all about rules and we have to adapt and not having the ability to adapt or do something different, it can be extremely detrimental. Also, this is so glorified of like, oh my gosh, like you're so strict, like you never mess up or you know whatever people say. When somebody is on a strict diet and it's like, well, it's not necessarily a really good thing. So I try not to talk about like the distinct behaviors I have had when I had an eating disorder, because that can be very triggering for people. So I usually make them very general and you might hear that and be like why isn't she saying exactly what she did? Just because it's not healthy for a lot of people to hear that. So when we look at intuitive eating, to hear that.
Speaker 1:
So when we look at intuitive eating, it's really trying to find this land between rules and having to rebel against the rules, because, absolutely, if you give yourself rules, our brains are like, oh, I would love to rebel against that. Thank you so much. And when we don't have a lot of rules, then our brain doesn't need to rebel. And that's where intuitive eating is incredibly beneficial is to help you reject the diet mentality and get out of this rule-based relationship with food. Also, I have to preface this all the time, because sometimes people feel like if there's no rules, then absolutely it's some kind of kind of free for all, where I only eat pizza and Doritos three meals a day. Now you can do that and that is absolutely your choice. That's not what intuitive eating is about, because you're really focused on how you feel when you are eating food, but what sounds good, what's satisfying. It's so much more than just eating whatever you want and, as somebody that has some health conditions, I do try to be mindful about what I eat, because different things make me feel better than other things.
Speaker 1:
So, again, if we get back to this rules piece, always when we're looking at intuitive eating or if you're trying to get away from this, being able to trust yourself without rules is a big challenge for many people, and when a lot of people start intuitive eating, they do really eat a lot of things they haven't been able to eat, that they have forbidden themselves. And I will say just for myself I ate all of the things. When I started intuitive eating because there's so many things I had not had in years and some of it was so fun to eat, and then some of it. I was like this makes me feel terrible or I didn't know, I don't really like cheese. Like all of these different things come up when you start paying attention.
Speaker 1:
So there is always a curve when you start practicing intuitive eating because, again, what you've forbidden from yourself, you can have. And that can be also challenging emotionally because you're like, oh my gosh, like I could eat everything. And it's like you can eat everything. And so I definitely did and had a lot of things that this is also during the pandemic. So my husband was baking and you know we just had like so many fun treats, which habituation happens. So things are super fun until they're not super fun and you get habituated to the fact that, okay, yeah, we have muffins on the counter, I'm not very hungry and I really don't want one right now. Or I had muffins for breakfast yesterday and I started getting a headache because I didn't have any protein. So I definitely want more protein this morning.
Speaker 1:
But you start looking at other pieces. So I think this trust piece that you are able to not have rules is what gives you a lot of freedom than when you're traveling, because well, now I can have different things, I'm not rebelling against anything and it really takes the shine off of, you know, doing whatever I want or having a free for all and man, do I not like the word free for all? There are some things that are just so loaded there's literally no way I can say it that it sounds like it's not loaded. What I would say when I say free for all is just it could be a binge and it could be, you know, eating until I feel uncomfortable or eating things that make me very uncomfortable, like if I had like too much dairy, please. That makes me very uncomfortable. So the term is also not used in this conversation as a negative, because there's not a value on eating more or eating until you are uncomfortable or eating foods that make you not feel well. There isn't a moral judgment, I would say socially. A lot of people put that out there, but in this conversation there is not.
Speaker 1:
Have you ever felt like the do-it-yourself approach to improving your healthy habits ends up doing nothing except making you feel overwhelmed, guilty and defeated? Have you been struggling to find sustainable routines that work for your responsibilities, lifestyle, budget and personal preferences? You don't need more rules, influencers or structured programs. You don't need more rules, influencers or structured programs. Let me help you discover what you want, what works for you and how to maintain healthy habits during the ever-changing circumstances of your life. If you're ready to create systems that stick head to heathersayerslaymancom backslash, health dash coaching and click, let's do it. Health-coaching and click, let's do it.
Speaker 1:
So I think that in my recent travels it's been so much easier because I could eat anywhere, a lot of the things that I had restricted before. I had comfortably started eating again and I didn't have negative effects because I thought like oh my gosh, I'm allergic to this, I can't tolerate that. And as it turns out, that was not true. There are many people who can't tolerate certain foods. That was not the choice for, or the situation for me, ironically enough, as it turns out. Ironically enough as it turns out. So I feel like that temptation being lifted makes everything a lot more pragmatic and practical and also revolves around what sounds good, what feels satisfying, because within intuitive eating, there are obviously 10 different principles. If you haven't read the book by Tribbley and Rush, I highly recommend it. It's also available at the library if you don't want to purchase, and Christy Harrison's Anti-Diet is also a fantastic book as well.
Speaker 1:
But really, looking at all of these concepts, but the satisfaction factor, I think, is so important. Concepts, but the satisfaction factor, I think, is so important. What sounds good, because we've all been there when we are feeling like, oh my gosh, I shouldn't eat this. So let's just say I really would love some tamales. Tamales sound so good, I want the beef ones, I want red sauce with them. Obviously, if we're doing that, I want chips and guacamole and I want a really big Diet Coke. So if that sounds good to me, and then I'm like you know what, let's just have half a peanut butter sandwich and we'll have a ton of water and then let's see how we feel. Okay, that didn't hit the satisfaction factor. You know what? I've got some frozen tamales and a lean cuisine meal, so maybe I'll try that. So we end up going through all of these other foods and probably eating much more than we were going to in the first place Because we never hit that satisfaction factor.
Speaker 1:
And I know you've all felt that when you've had a meal that you maybe weren't that jazzed about, wasn't what you wanted, and then you're like, hmm, like what's next? Is there something else? Is like dessert going to be helpful here, but it generally will cause us to eat more than we set out to in the first place, because we're really never satisfied. So I think that, looking at all of the options so I was just in San Francisco with my son, who moved there recently and he lives in a walking area you don't need a car, there's restaurants all over the place, there's movie theaters, like everything is pretty much walkable. And I would look at the map on my phone like, okay, here, look up lunch or look up restaurant, and I would be like, oh my gosh, there's so many places and literally everything. There is a Greek place, there's El Salvadorian, peruvian, italian, all kinds of things that I'm like I haven't even heard of this. I don't know what Peruvian food is. I can't even tell you what a basic toddler palate I have also. So it's not a surprise that I wouldn't know what Peruvian food is.
Speaker 1:
But being able to just look at that map and be like what sounds good and I would talk to my son as well, like I don't know like what sounds good to you, and so we were really working off of the satisfaction factor to pick a place, and sometimes it would look different. There was one night where we were walking somewhere. So this place needed to be sort of on the way and I felt like I just really wanted some vegetables. I hadn't had a ton of veg because we drove all the way from Arizona to California and you know we're just eating stuff that's in our car or wherever you can stop that has a place for a 16 foot truck towing a car. So options were limited and my body just doesn't feel great. My GI system is like can we have some more fiber please, or I'm going to end up making you very mad. So you know, we stopped at a pizza place where we could split a pizza and have a salad as well.
Speaker 1:
So it was really looking at what sounds good, what feels good, and I think this lens can be very challenging to get into, especially if you're leaving a regular diet land, because that's never been the question. What sounds good Like everything sounds good, like a hamburger and fries sounds good, pizza sounds good, stir fry sounds good. But then you really start asking yourself a lot of questions because I factor into like what time is it? Because I don't want to eat something really heavy before I go to bed, just because I feel like like my gird will go nuts and I will just be like burping and so uncomfortable and the fire in my chest from heartburn. It's not my favorite. So asking myself a lot of questions around like what sounds good also is like what is going to feel good with your body as well.
Speaker 1:
And even when I was there, my son's roommate is lactose intolerant. So he factored the dairy content in with just how much lactate he needed to take, because if it sounded really good to him, then he was like, oh yeah, absolutely, because I want to get a cheeseburger. Like, hang on, before we go, I'm going to take lactate, because he knew that that would make him feel better. So I think that there's a lot to be able to get to a place where the satisfaction factor meets up with what I'm worth having. Because I think the conversation for so long has been like what can I eat? That's going to make me the smallest and it's not about your taste or it's not about what you want, it's about getting your body to obey in a certain way. So then when we take those things off the table and it's like what sounds good to you, then absolutely our body and mind are like who is this? What do you want from me, like why are you asking me these questions? And I think that it's okay to be very confused when you first start doing this. And what I just really wanted to stress is I've been doing this for several years and it's really so much easier now If I've said anything, and maybe I could really just do a 45 second podcast. It's so much easier now.
Speaker 1:
It was really challenging when I started, because all of these voices on the committee are piping up of like are you sure you should eat that? Or like ooh, that seems like a lot. Or oh, it's kind of late to eat that. Or what are you doing in the morning? Are you going to take a big long walk? All of the voices had something to say. And I will say persisting in this direction, with this relationship with food, has paid off in spades, because I mean just this year I think, I had to go to Indiana where I helped my best friend remodel her laundry room and then I went to her father's funeral.
Speaker 1:
So I was there for several days and just eating, kind of whatever everybody else wanted, like what's close? Like what can we get what sounds good to you? And then I flew from there to Florida to be with my husband for a conference he was at, and while we were at the conference, it was conference food, like here's what dinner is, and so I ate whatever dinner was. And again, both of those situations would have been impossible before, when I was very extreme with what I needed to eat and I didn't sweat any of it a bit. The pool restaurant had fruit and then this yogurt dip and I ordered that, I think, three times, because I don't know what it is about me, but if somebody else cuts up my fruit, I'm just happy as a clam. So I got that several times while I was there because I was just like, oh my God, cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, like what's happening? This is so great, but it made me. I was so satisfied when I had that because I just felt great, so that this piece gets so much easier.
Speaker 1:
And I think the best way to try to leverage making this change is to really look at what it costs me to either feel like I have to be so restricted. I have to, you know, only eat these things. And here's what I'm going to do. You know, when I go to my in-laws or when we go on vacation, it's got to be this and that costs me presence. That is so stressful. I'm not thinking of other things, I'm not present for the people that I want to be with because I'm so focused on oh my gosh, what is dinner? What do they have? Can I look a menu up online?
Speaker 1:
And then also, on the other hand, when I see people that have so many rules and they feel like then vacation, they can eat everything that they never let themselves eat, and then they came back completely upset with themselves, kind of is minimizing it, but they felt like they failed and they felt like they didn't really take great care of themselves, just because they were so excited to be able to have the permission to eat what they really wanted. And again, if we don't have a lot of rules to begin with, then when we go on vacation and you know we can have pizza and wings or whatever it is that sounds good, then there's no reason to beat yourself up or to feel bad. And I also find with myself like I don't necessarily end up eating more than I'm comfortable with, because I could also have this at any time, like pizza and wings is readily available for me anywhere. That I am, and I think keeping the mindset of not having rules then takes the shine off when we go somewhere and we can have a lot of different things. And I think there are, like, if I go to Costa Rica, like the pastries are really different there. And then there are some foods um, gallo Pinto is really not special, it's beans and rice, but the way they make it is so delicious. So I definitely eat a lot of that while I'm there, because I can't really get that here, and some of the pastries that I definitely want to have while I'm there, because I can't really get that here, and some of the pastries that I definitely want to have while I'm there. But it's about enjoying it and it's not about the calories. I would have no idea how many calories are in any of those things. It's not about the portions. It's really about going and then my husband and I finding a place that looks really good for breakfast and then let's go there, being present, enjoying this food, stopping when I feel like I've had enough and then feeling really satisfied with what I have.
Speaker 1:
So the leverage piece of getting away from how bad you may feel when you travel and then are restricting yourself so much in general, and the way that you feel, maybe when you get home, I'm like, oh, like man, the stress really takes a toll. So what would it feel like to just travel, literally, look at a map, pick a place, look at a menu, pick some food, eat it and then move on with your life? Like, how would that feel to just be free enough that you can make choices, feel happy with your choices and then move on, enjoy your company and enjoy the conversation, enjoy the view, whatever it is, but that you're not stressed out about what you're about to eat, what you're eating or what you already ate? And I think that that feeling can be great leverage to be able to want to make some changes, because we all know what it feels like to be incredibly stressed about this, whether it's stress while I'm there or stress when I get back home. But looking at those feelings, be like okay, I know I don't want that, what do I want? I just want to feel peaceful, I want to feel content, I want to feel nothing about it, I want to feel like yum, that was good and I just don't want to dedicate any more energy to feeling bad about food or feeling bad about myself, like I feel done with it, and intuitive eating can be a great step for you, because I know almost everybody I know is sick of it. They're just sick of it, sick of feeling bad about food and their body and intuitive eating as one tool it doesn't work for everybody. For the people that it works, for, the freedom that they get really is priceless. And I will say for myself, being able to take all of these trips I've had planned trips, I've had emergency trips, trips for fun, trips for serious matters, and food was one of the last things on my mind During these trips. I was there to be be there for someone. I was there to be there for someone. I was there to be with people. I was there to learn something, and that took precedence, and food did not take precedence, and that's very, very possible for you. So, absolutely, if you feel like you are struggling with traveling and eating, intuitive eating is a piece that I think is worth looking at in how can I create a much healthier relationship with food so that it's not the headliner of my trip? You can always reach out to me. I'm happy to chat with you about intuitive eating, because it's been a game changer for me.
Speaker 1:
All right, thanks for listening and safe travels. Thanks so much for listening today. Do you know what would be really fun? If you popped over to my Instagram at Heather Sayers Lehman and dropped me a DM and let me know what topics you want me to cover? Something bugging you, something holding you up? Please just let me know and I will tweak some content and get an episode out just for you. As always. Please follow show or you can leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify. That would be fun to see in the next episode.
