Toxic Tearoom

Little Shop of (Workplace) Horrors!!

October 03, 2023 That One Booth Productions Season 2 Episode 5
Little Shop of (Workplace) Horrors!!
Toxic Tearoom
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Toxic Tearoom
Little Shop of (Workplace) Horrors!!
Oct 03, 2023 Season 2 Episode 5
That One Booth Productions

  There are monsters hiding under your desk! Ghosts of horrific work experiences and employers- scoured from the internet and submitted by our listeners- make up the first episode of the spooky season!
Join Stella and Roberta as they share tales so scary- and some cases, quite icky- that your body will shudder...with guffaws of laughter! The best stories come from all of you in the Little Shop of (Workplace) Horrors!!
Your hosts will share horror stories all October long, so keep sending them in to theteabag@toxictearoom.com!!

Sick of hiring demons? Tired of working for Mr. Hyde? Visit HireMyMom.com to get the toxic-free team you deserve!  Use code ToxicTearoom at checkout to save 15% on job listings!

Need an exorcism? Call a priest.  Need incredible  business results to catapult your business? Reach out to Escatena! Learn more at escatena.net. Unleash uncommon results with Escatena!

Spotify Playlist for this Episode

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Thanks for listening to Toxic Tearoom! Follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, X and Patreon. Are you in a toxic workplace? Tell us about it at TheTeabag@ToxicTearoom.com. We promise anonymity, empathy, and a healthy dose of humor.

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Show Notes Transcript

  There are monsters hiding under your desk! Ghosts of horrific work experiences and employers- scoured from the internet and submitted by our listeners- make up the first episode of the spooky season!
Join Stella and Roberta as they share tales so scary- and some cases, quite icky- that your body will shudder...with guffaws of laughter! The best stories come from all of you in the Little Shop of (Workplace) Horrors!!
Your hosts will share horror stories all October long, so keep sending them in to theteabag@toxictearoom.com!!

Sick of hiring demons? Tired of working for Mr. Hyde? Visit HireMyMom.com to get the toxic-free team you deserve!  Use code ToxicTearoom at checkout to save 15% on job listings!

Need an exorcism? Call a priest.  Need incredible  business results to catapult your business? Reach out to Escatena! Learn more at escatena.net. Unleash uncommon results with Escatena!

Spotify Playlist for this Episode

Support the Show.

Thanks for listening to Toxic Tearoom! Follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, X and Patreon. Are you in a toxic workplace? Tell us about it at TheTeabag@ToxicTearoom.com. We promise anonymity, empathy, and a healthy dose of humor.

The Toxic Tea Room podcast is for entertainment purposes only. We are fully entertained by the stories of horror we will present to you today neither the Toxic Tea Room nor its parent. That One Booth Productions, LLC, is responsible for the statements or opinions of its guests, submissions, or content derived from publicly available sources. We are also not responsible for dry cleaning or other builds associated with certain stains on your clothing, be it coffee, urine, spittle, or other such biological material, due to the horrific stories we will share with you. Also, if you are one of those deranged people who want to use this podcast to hurt people in any way, I have good news for you. A position as CEO may be in your future. Regardless, this podcast and our parent company are not responsible for your actions because of any content produced in this podcast. You fucking weirdo. Listeners are encouraged to vet any recommendations with certified professional personnel. For more information on our disclaimer, as well as to see some amazing additional content, fly your broom over to our website, WW toxicteeroom.com. Park that broom next to Roberta's and grab some toxic tea for yourself. I'm, stella. and I'm Roberta. Welcome to the toxic tea It was pretty choice. It was absolutely choice, and contrary to popular belief, rather, I am not a witch. Oh. If I was a witch, the best evidence I have for not being a witch is that certain people are walking without hexes and spells upon them because oh, wordy, wordy, or I'm sorry, what was the quote? Lordy, Lordy, let there be spells. If I was a witch, there'd be tales to tell. So do you ever talk to those people? Which ones? The ones that I would cast spells upon previous, workers and, bosses and, don't ever. I don't talk to them because I don't use Ouija boards. Wait, what does that have to do with Ouija boards? Because you need a Ouija board to talk to the dead still. Wait, they're dead? These people are dead? Well, they're dead to me, anyway. Anyway, in honor of, the spooky season, we're kicking off our little shop of workplace horror stories. We scoured the Internet for some of the most horrific stories from Glassdoor Workable, career contessa, Cracked People, M, and more. And, wow, was it fun to scour scour scour scour like scouring pots. I'll kick it off then. With your permission, Stella, with a truly interesting little tale. Here we go. Oh, my God. A few years ago, I took a marketing position in a UK based company. After a brief training, I realized that I had to carry a wooden sign in a supermarket every day and stand there and promote various products. I guess that's marketing. There was no specific time schedule. I could stay there as long as I wanted, so long as I reached my sales goals at the end of the day, we would all gather at the company offices. Our manager would step in while the speakers played the song Pretty Green Eyes at maximum volume. I guess that's her walk in music. And then the show would begin. We would ring a bell and have a cheery round of applause for everyone who reached their goals. But what about those who had almost reached their goals? Well, we would form a circle, and that person would stand in the middle and act like a chicken, because apparently they chickened out instead of hitting their targets. And if anyone's phone rang in the middle of this show, they'd immediately have to do ten push ups. cluck cluck. What the what is that? What is that? What Lord of the Rings bullshit is this? What is this? What is this? This ceremony, we all go in a circle. What is this? It sounds pretty horrific, like Halloween ish, but I got to say, I kept thinking of the song, chicken Dance. We got to add that to our spotify list. Yes, you bet. That and pretty green eyes. I mean, I'm sorry, but wow. Yeah. Special person. And your marketing, by the way. Nice marketing. Internship, walk around with a sign and sell products. That's lovely, boy. Well, I don't want our listeners to chicken out already, so let me switch to a run of the mill horror. Story from some great horror stories on glassdoor. A review of sorts. Okay. so here it goes. If you aren't related to the boss or went through their TDP program straight out of school, forget promotions within supervisors, lie to their employees on a daily basis and take them for granted. Favoritism and sexism is at play all over the company. If you do your job, you get wrote up for not going above and beyond. And if you go above and beyond, you get wrote up for not staying at your job level. Everything is a double standard. Some are late by 30 minutes or more and never get reprimanded. Some are always on time and end up late once in three years and get a written warning. Operations is the worst place to work. Everyone treats it like a high school drama play. Customers get lied to on the phones, and if you bring it up to management, they ignore you. Worst four years wasted. Four years. I have a question. I have a question. Yeah? What is a TDP program? Total dick president. What is that? What does that mean? I'm not familiar with that term. I mean, it sounds like that person that reviewer works for a safe house for fragile frat boys is what it sounds like. I mean, I know the type. I think we both know the type. Grapes have thicker skins and far more character than these individuals, and I hope that reviewer realizes that they're worth more than that and has moved on. This next one, though, is a little bit worse than that glass door review, Stella. It has a little bit of international flair. Like us. See? Comonoi? Here we go. All right. When I was working at an embassy, we just bougied m up our game. We went from wearing a sign outside in the UK yes. To frat houses. International House of horrors. Horrors. Horrors. Horror. Horrors. You almost sounded like you were describing a sales organization at a certain place. Anyway, right? Horrors, horrors. Everybody, horrors. Keep your mind out of the gutter. We're already there. Okay. While I was working at an embassy, I had a colleague who was convinced I was a Russian spy. We sat across from each other, so I would often catch her looking at me from behind her laptop. You know what images in my mind with that stell? Dwight and Jim at the office. Picture that it's. What this guy's dealing with? His coworker? This embassy? Kareen. Karen Kareen. Eyeing him over the monitor. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She also wouldn't let me touch the mail or go into specific areas of the embassy. Like is tackling him. I would love to have worked there just to watch this interaction. She wouldn't even accept food from me. In fact, when my mother sent me cupcakes for my name day, she demanded that they be x rayed to see if there was anything inside. Good. I wish this person was a troll. And put, like, those Cracker Jack gifts inside each of one. Wouldn't that have been awesome? Yes. Or like the little baby the little baby that gets baked into the New Year's pastry. Put a little baby in each one, set it to the x ray. Oh, my God. Another time, a colleague asked me to make a copy of a visa applicant's ID. Which happens at Embassies. Standard protocol. When she saw me in the copy room, she yelled knew it in just that tone, too. And kept asking me where I found that ID and what was I doing with it. She was lucky that I saw the humor in all this. I even greeted her in Russia every morning. Or in Russian every morning. Babushka, what's up? What's happening? That's very good. See, she would have been like, no, that's Sus. That chick's russian. And then you switch to your Spanish. You'll be like a Russian spy in Spain. Good Lord. Wow. That was a good one. Yeah, that was a good. Ahead. I can't imagine someone suspecting me of. Being m. Think, about this, though. You work at the embassy. Does Kareen not think that the embassy has, like, background screening? The embassy? Yeah. You would think they've got it under control. But no worries, ladies and gentlemen. She's on. She kareem is on it. I can sleep safer knowing that Kareen is on that Russian spy bullshit. We don't have to be. We don't have to worry about it. Exactly. You don't have to worry about it. It's all taken care of. Kareen is on top of things. Well, thinking back to our last episode, this next review seems to call in the flames ofrture, okay, here it goes. When I first worked at McDonald's as a line cook, two days of working there, I got burnt by the equipment. It was a very bad burn, and it's hard to avoid getting burnt when you work in a fast paced environment. They just put mustard on it. I guess they didn't have any burn cream. They didn't file a burn report with those papers and have you fill it out. They just had me fill it out once, even though I got burned many times working. Oh, it's probably like one of those incident reports. Yes. So if I follow this correctly, they're like, here, fill this out once. Homie. And don't worry, we'll use the same form that you filled out once every time you get burned. Same incident. I mean, in fairness, same incident. You still got burned. Same incident. Same problem. Why go through extra paperwork? It's the same issue. You got burned. Equipment hot. You go burn. Okay, same thing. Yeah, I get it. Makes sense. That checks. Yeah. It doesn't matter how careful you are. I'm constantly around hot equipment, hot oil, and the grill. Mickey D's doesn't provide any safety equipment to avoid burns. It's a no good job, even though most of the managers are in the back doing a vape and want to tell you how to do your job, even though store policy is against employees taking a smoke inside while on a job. Not a very healthy working environment at all. I'm going to try to unpack this. yes. I would bet no one thinks of that place as a healthy as healthy in any way. Right? Let's just be real. I think that I read that there's, like, 20 ingredients in their fries. Why isn't it just potatoes and salt and oil? Why isn't it just that? I don't understand. But here's what I will say. I'm all for creativity. I thrive upon it. I can't get past mustard on a burn. Mustard is spicy, is it not? Yes. Nobody says, you know what? I'd like something cool and calming on my sandwich. Can you pass the mustard? Well, I want to ask our audience if anyone wants to let us know why mustard is put on a burn, please write in your submissions to thetoxicteetroom.com because I've never heard of that. I can't wrap my head around that part. And this poor person, I don't know how old this reviewer was, but can you imagine? Usually your first job is at a fast food place as a teenager. Imagine being a teenager. You get a burn because that equipment is scalding hot, and your manager comes over because they're two years older than you, so they're the manager. You know how this place works? Like, they're a senior in high school. You're a sophomore. So they get to be the manager and they squirt some mustard on your burn. I have to believe that. Stung like a son of a bitch. Like, I don't know that I would have been able to refrain. I don't know that I would have felt good about mean. Where's OSHA on this? By the like, we have to measure how much walkway we have between our cubicles and in a restaurant kitchen. It is small. It is cramped. There's a lot of people in there. And, yeah, it's scalding hot equipment for a reason. I don't know what the rules are. I'm not familiar. Maybe that's something we'll need to bring back up to, Danny T. And say, Danny T, how far away does the equipment have to be? And is mustard okay to use as burn? Ointment. In a pinch, what are the requirements there? Because I genuinely don't know. It's just there's a lot of equipment and a lot of activity in a tiny space. It's just not good. Hey, it's a recipe for a disaster. I'm still stuck on mustard for burns. I'm sorry. Like, I can't get past that point. Jesus. All right, so here's another one that makes me shudder. Goosebumps terrifying. And I'll tell you why this one is terrifying. It's not because of the hot flames of hell or the creepy cult thing we talked about with going up in a circle. And I think I said Lord of the Rings. That's not what I meant to say. I think the rings threw me off. Lord of the Rings. Rings make a ring around people. That's not what I meant. Lord of the Flies is what that actually reminds me of. Yes. Because I'm waiting for somebody to start yelling out something, and we've all read the book anyway, so this scares me because I can see this playing out in every day and this going completely undetected. Yeah. All right, get ready, because this is terrifying. Here we go. I once got talking to a guy whose job it was to go to, a company, sit alongside the system's administrator for two weeks, and write a professional audit on his processes and practices. Naturally, the system admin would be on his best behavior, showing off all the clever things he did to keep the company's computer network ticking over. And at the end of the two weeks, the system admin would be fired. There was never any audit. This was just the method the company used to replace their It people without disruption, making sure the new guy was trained up and the old guy didn't cause any damage before he left. Wow. Sneaky. It's very similar, for some reason, to being a paid informant. Like, let's not go there. No. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Call back to an earlier episode, folks. Check out last season. We actually talk about paid informants, but yeah, that's, house slytherin all day long, man. That's what this is. This is rough house slytherin. Holy shit. well, you know, if your company actually does need an audit or a new business unit with rapid results or a way to get your goods from A to B safely, you have a new effective option. We do. Escatena. Yes, escatena delivers incredible results fast. Learn more about Escategenna at ah, escateg. That is Escatena net and unleash uncommon results. Okay, so I have one for you. Any similarity to this story and certain companies is completely coincidental. I cannot wait for this. Here's the story. Have you ever wondered what the record for the world's shortest job could be? After all my wanderings, it would be quite difficult to find one that competes with this story. I got hired for a corporate job. I had my first day and it seemed to be going well. And then I and the rest of my department got called in for a surprise meeting. Turns out we were all getting laid off. Yes, I got laid off on my first day. That has to be a new record, right? Wow. I want to give this person the record for that. Except that one of the friends to this podcast did share, a situation where somebody got an offer, they quit their current job, when they accepted the offer, was sent their laptop like, get ready for your first day. Here's your equipment you'll need on the job, and then was let go right before their start date, like, right before the Friday before the Monday was told. Yeah, we have to rescind our offer and can you send our laptop back, please? So I want to give it the record, except we know about that other situation. but I will say, that this is exceptional. This is exceptional if you want to broadcast to the world, in my opinion, that you do not in any way have control over your company or even get your collective shit together, like, let alone control over anything. You don't even have your shit together. Go on a hiring spree and a firing spree in short order. Yes. Hire. Hire higher. Oopsies, fire. Fire. Yes. People have real lives, real bills. Events have real consequences. Well, unfortunately, these sorts of companies are run by aliens. Actually, that's not true. I can't make that. That's not fair to the aliens. Yes. If you're the kind of employer that needs top talent, and you very much plan to recruit and retain that talent, then hire. My mom is the partner you need. Gentlemen, don't be afraid. Hire. My mom is for men, too. In fact, they take all of the fright out of hiring. Experience a toxic free environment you always wanted and leave those higher and fire nightmares for your poor, lesser equipped competitors. Visit hiremymom.com and use toxic tea room one word at checkout to get a 15% discount on job listings. Get that top talent before a lesser company does. I know hire my mom prevents workplace horror stories with their in depth employer screening process. But I'm not sure even they could have helped our next poor soul. Stella, I think I have the ultimate workplace horror story next. You do? Yes. Listeners, if you're eating breakfast, pause. Finish your food. Digest it come back to us. If you're in your car or at the gym, turn it up. Here we go. If you have neighbors you don't like, blast it. By the way, before I get started, I'm just going to tell I'm reading it verbatim. There is some colorful language contained herein. That's not the thing you should be worried about. When I read this to you, gentle listeners, with your delicate ears and soul. The language here is not the concern. I don't want to alter the language. It's not terribly blue, but it's a tad bit crass. But when I read this to you, you'll understand that it's absolutely appropriate language. There is no prettier way to describe what I'm about to tell you. Okay, there we go. When I worked at a gas station, a woman was helping her elderly father use the bathroom. On the way out, she came to me and apologized for making a bit of a mess in there. It was far from a bit of a mess. They got crap all over the toilet, floor, roof, up the walls, all over the sink, and somehow inside the garbage can. Like they removed the garbage can, shit in it, and then put the bag back, on m oh, my God. I was alone. Wait, before I progress, can we just stop there? What in God's eye? How do you get poop on the roof? How do you get. When my father was toward the end of his life, god rest his soul, there were some uncomfortable moments. There were times where he could not do for himself those that have elderly parents, understand? And you can put yourself in this woman's place, right? Dad's got to go. Does dad have hydraulics, is my question. How do you and by the way, folks, if this is what you think the story is oh, no, hold on. This is just the first half. We're not close. We're not even close. But we just have to dissect this for a second. How does it get, on what he says? The roof, which I'm assuming is the ceiling? How what explosion occurred in the old boy? And was any of it? Because if I think about it, not only is it gross, but then my mind goes to because I've got an Ops mind, right? You understand? Tell me, because you have the same what does your clothing look like? Ma'am? Because what I'm trying to understand is how your father shat himself silly. In. The gas station bathroom, and it's literally everywhere. Ah. How is it not on you? Like I need CSI to come in. I want to know how the clothing remains spatter free. I want to understand. Did you change your father before you left the bathroom? Are his clothes in the garbage? Because that's where I would put them. There's just a lot here to unpack, but we'll just move on so that we can all get past the shit and go to part two. Because if you gentle listener like that alone makes a really bad day at work. You are correct. Yes, but is it a horror story? it could be, but we're not done. And then after this stella, I want to share a personal thing that kind of relates. I've only told this story to two other people in my entire life. My husband and my daughter who was there. But I'm ready to share it with our listeners. But we'll get to there. Let's get to the second half of this poor bastard. Okay. He's got that mess going on. Okay. I was alone, so I locked the bathroom and put an out of order sign on the door. A guy came in and said I had to open the bathroom because he needed to piss. I told him I couldn't open it due to it being biologically unsafe. The guy pissed on the floor outside of the bathroom, all over the handle and along the door before flipping me the finger and walking out. I don't know why I didn't just quit that day. me either, sir, but here I have questions. I understand you really got to go, but if you have this is clearly, because he says it's a gentleman. So as a gentleman, you are equipped with certain parts that give you more maneuverability in this particular area than we women have. What would have stopped you, sir, from running the hell outside and relieving yourself in a bush or something, if that's what you had available to you? I'm not saying it's gorgeous or glamorous, but certainly your method wasn't. Why do you resort to violence? Why resort to violence? It was so intensely personal. This guy a, he's working at a gas station. He's not excited about cleaning up some old man's shitstorm in the bathroom. He's correct in doing what he did. He locked the bathroom, put a sign up, and he's cleaning up a biohazard. I'm applauding this man. Yes. Then here know we're going to call him, I don't know, let's pick a cool name for this guy. What do you think? Chuck? Gary? Sam? Let's go with Sam now. Let's go with Peter. Peter sounds perfect. Peter. Peter pumpkin eater. Get the honor of, october. Peter took his Peter and decided to you must have really had to go because that is a lot. But to go on the floor, outside the bathroom, all over the handle. Why the handle? Why? And along the door. I know everybody's on those yeti mugs for water, and everybody should drink more water, but dude, did you have an extra big size of those I don't understand. But I mean, just gross. Come on. Come on. It's disgusting. So, speaking of disgusting, I will share my story now. Okay? I'm not proud of it. Okay. I'm not proud of it, but it happened, so we're going to talk about it. Okay? This was a long time ago, so my daughter, who is now in her thirty s, okay, this is when she was in high school, she was a senior and she made the National Honor Choir, which we were delighted and thrilled for her. It was an incredible honor. She's an amazing singer. and I went with her to the performance, and it was in Oklahoma City, and they had a lot of stuff. The kids had to practice because they never sang together before they all showed up. So picture this. Kids from all across the country audition for this. They get in and now they've never sung. You know, they have to practice. So there was a lot of long hours with the kids, and it was amazing how much talent those kids had. I mean, it was really great to be there. but they brought in sandwiches one day for the parents and the kids, the parents who happened to be there, and the kids. And it was hot. And unfortunately, some of those sandwiches turned rancid in the heat. Yeah. And a bunch of kids got sick, and some parents, including yours truly. Now, did it hit me right away? No, ma'am. No, ma'am. On top of everything else, it was my birthday that weekend. And so one of the other moms and I and our daughters, who became fast friends, and they're still friends to this day, we went out to celebrate my birthday. Just having dinner. Couldn't do anything crazy because big concert was the next day, so the choir was great. They sang me. Happy birthday. It was very sweet. And then we went out to eat and I started not to feel so good at dinner. Yeah. And I excused myself from the table, asked where the bathrooms were, and it was one of those restaurants that the bathroom was unisex and it was like not multiple stalls, like a stall. Like you were going into the bathroom. That was you. Wow. Made it to the bathroom, closed the door behind me, and it was like a scene from The Exorcist. And I'm not even lying. You need to understand, I was projectile vomiting at the most horrific rate possible. I'm still convinced there are bits of my organs somewhere in that restroom to this day. I let them know that it had happened. I felt horribly bad. But can you imagine being someone there, having to go I mean, this elderly man, I vomited the way he shat. Okay. It was everywhere. Like, it was everywhere. I felt so horrible. And then I returned to the table. I'm like, you know, I think I'm done for tonight. I think I'm going to go head back to the room because I don't feel good. They're like, you don't look at I definitely don't feel it. So I went back to the hotel. My husband was like, hey, food poisoning serious. So can you go to the hospital? I'm like, well, no, I'm not going to go to the hospital in Oklahoma City. I don't know anyone here. I'm not going to go to the hospital. I'm just going to rest. I'm going to drink a lot of water. I was sick throughout the night. Thankfully not that bad. But I was sick throughout the night. I did feel a little better in the morning. Had to take it seriously easy throughout the concert. I was, like, barely making it. and then felt good enough to come back home. But it was, not my proudest moments, but that was somebody else's. Somebody else has that in their notes somewhere. And somewhere they're like, do you guys remember when all those kids were in town and there was, like, some choir thing going on? And then that lady got really sick in our bathroom? And that was the worst thing we've ever seen. Somebody has that somewhere in their stories. And I will tell you guys it was me. And I'm so sorry. I did not do it on purpose. I'm so sorry. But it was exactly everything you're picturing mine right now. It was that and like, ten times worse. Like, you could not possibly imagine the violence of which my body rejected. That sandwich awful. and any organ that touched the sandwich and all my blood cells that could have come in contact with you have no idea. It was just terrible. Oh, my God. It was the worst. oh, my God. Not to belabor this topic, but. Has wonderful. A few jobs ago, I worked at a place that had a huge warehouse. And they literally had to shut down one of the bathrooms because the ladies bathrooms. because someone kept smearing poop on the walls. Why? And I'm like I'm sorry. Who does that? I know. I don't understand. I'm struggling with the concept of somebody saying, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to because here's the thing. Look, let's just audience, by now, we're family, okay? What you guys don't understand is Stella and I, when we're just sitting here literally shooting the shit, we do exactly what you're hearing right now. We crack ourselves up for hours. Like, we'll be on the phone late at night. We're cracking ourselves up over stuff like this. You're hearing real talk from us right now. None of this is scripted. So here's the things that go on in my mind when you tell that story, right? Let's play a game. The game is called I Hate My Job So Much that I okay, so if you hate your job so much that you are willing to grab your. Own feces from the toilet that you just chat, body temperature and all, and smear that feces on the bathroom wall, knowing that someone's going to walk in and see it, but you're going to be anonymous about it because you hate the job, but you don't want them to fire you. You want to quit first. So you're going to express your displeasure the way that monkeys do, and you're going to like when monkeys throw poop at you at the zoo, because they're. Like, yes, that's very true. Screw you, humans. And they throw poop at you. So you're going to express your displeasure in such an incredibly disgusting and basic way. And then what? Wash up and just go back to work? How well are you washing your hands? I have all kinds of questions. it's so gross, the people content. I mean, it is what it is. Look, everybody, we warned you. We said October was going to be workplace horror stories, and here you go. I will say, though, if you're at that stage where you hate a job enough that you are willing to fish your own shit out of the toilet. To smear the wall, they didn't poop in their hand. Oh, my I'm just saying, how, does this happen? Is, that a thing? Can you actually I mean, I don't know. I will say this. If someone's able to shit in their own hand, that is flexible, and I applaud you, but could you not? There's a market there somewhere for you. There is a job niche somewhere for you that you can explore with that kind of talent. But can you not like, if you want to practice, practice, but can you not smear it on the walls? I'm not here to judge you. No one is here to judge anybody. We are not here to judge you. But I don't understand why people go to that. Like, what happens if someone walks in on you while you're smearing the shit? How do you say, It wasn't me. Yeah. Are you going to have that song playing in your head now? Wasn't me. Wasn't me. Okay, well, the bathroom wasn't me. Put the shit all over put. The shit on the ceiling. Pissed all over the door now. Wasn't me. OMG. Okay. Oh, my God. These are horrid. I am not sure I can top that one, but I'm going to try. This last story, very short, by the way, brings us back to Spooky. We'll go with Spooky. Oh, Lord. Okay. Late one night, a drowned John Doe was brought into the morgue where I work. So I guess this is a mortician. Yes. Pause. I have questions. How many people work in a morgue? Let's name the jobs. You're either a mortician maintenance, sanitation. I would assume that's different from maintenance. I don't know. I don't, know who just, quote unquote, at a morgue where I work the same way, say, at a restaurant. Where I work, like, at this morgue where I work. That's a very specific you're handling corpses, sir? Yes. Are you the handler of the corpses? Are you the cleaner up of the corpses? Are you the makeup artist? What is it that I think that we were owed that we need to understand that part? Yeah. Okay. I can let it go for now. By all means, let's get to the story. All right. So around midnight, I m started to hear clinking sounds coming from inside the drawer. Immediately? No, immediately. Get the fuck out. Immediately. By immediately. No, immediately. I am out. Absolutely not. Fearing a mistake had been made, I quickly opened the drawer to find three large, angry crabs. The crabs are making the noise. Did he swallow the crabs? They went in, drowned? No, he was drowned. So they probably were in, like, his clothing and whatnot is what I'm thinking. They just came up with him? Yes. Okay. And they're like, hey, Clink. Clink. Hello. Can you imagine, though, that's one thing that would terrify me? I could never work in a morgue for any of those jobs. Like, none of them. All three of those that we named, I could not be any of those. Yeah. Because there's some automatic reflexes that happen. I would be scared. Are you kidding me? I would be running. And I don't like to run. I don't like to run. I'm not a runner. People are like, Would you run from zombies? No. Be easier. Just let them bite me, become one. And then I would have supernatural powers and chase all of you. But I don't run. And if something like an automatic reflex and something kicked or something twitched that I thought was dead, I would put an Olympic medal on me right now because I'm winning. I'm breaking all world records. No, you would probably socks and corpse. I would probably punch the corpse out. You'll be dead now, sir. Now, sir. How dare you? How the gall you're supposed to die. I'm sorry. Oh, my gosh. You shall die now. And then you're going to look at those crabs and go, you think you're angry now? Where do you hit that hot water? I'm about to have dinner. can you imagine? I've been hangry before, but I've never been that hangry, and I'm not that crabby, even when I am that hangry. Well, I have certainly been creeped out by these stories. Creeped out, skeeved out, grossed out. Pimped out. Now, I'm just that was that first story where this big wooden sign you, could be out there as long as you like, so long as you sold everything. Otherwise, you will be ridiculed in a circle from your peers and the chicken nuts. Dana nana dana nana nana nah. Dana nana nana nah. Just what the fuck? I don't even understand. oh, my God. So there's lots of creeps in these stories too. And I bet there are plenty more out there. I have a feeling that we have lots of creepy stories and lots of creeps in the toxic work environment. we're going to, as a reminder, host workplace horror stories the entire month of October. So we will have at least a couple in every episode. And we would love to continue to scour the Internet for them, but we will also be sharing some of yours, so keep them coming in to the Tea Bag at, toxictroom.com. And yes, because someone actually asked me, it's T as in T-E-A not the letter T Bag at, ah, toxictroom.com. Tea Bag like, folks, come on. Tea Bag like the thing you dip in hot water to wait for it. Make tea that we spill on this podcast. Yes. T-E-A the teabag@toxictroom.com. And, as always, check out our socials x, Insta, Facebook, yada, yada, yada. And if you like what you hear, especially today, if you love what you hear today, you can support us. We need a lot of support. We need help. You can support us via the links in the show notes patreon, or by visiting one of our curated affiliate links on our blog as well. We appreciate and love all of you. Yeah, it's not scary to subscribe, so go ahead and do that, or we. Will hunt you down and kill you. Oh, sorry, that wasn't me. That was Michael Myers. Okay, visit, our blog@toxicteeroom.com slash blog to see more seasonally spooky items. And that should keep you busy until next time. Bye. Right in the good one, we left it all out.