In this episode, we're going to dive into how to actually implement the process of manifestation. If you missed it, go back to episode number 2 of the podcast where I go over some of the fundamentals. Let's dive into the how-to of manifesting!
Hey, my love, how are you? I hope you're doing amazing that you're having an awesome day. And if you're not, I'm sending you a big hug, giving you one like a big hug like you're here in my office, giving you a hug.
Okay. Anyhow, I want to let you guys know that I was just having a bit of a giggle to myself, because I had started to record this episode. And I had to stop, because I needed some war-tah. And I was like, I need some water. And as I said that I could actually see the faces of some of my clients who live in the US who have teased me about the way that I say water. You know, Australians and New Zealanders. They both say water, like the way that I say water. And at the end of the word doesn't sound very pronounced to you guys that are I guess, anyway, it was a little bit of fun, I was just cracking up at myself imagining my clients kind of cracking up at me.
1:34: So that's what's been happening in the like, very immediate past, I will tell you like just a little further back over the last few weeks, life has been pretty full. For me, it's autumn here. And in autumn, you know, it's coming close to winter. Normally, that's a time where we might slow down.
For me, I've got some really big goals. And I've been seeing things speed up for me, I've been doing more have been creating more, I've been helping more people I've been having more fun and doing more activities with family and friends.
And so it's been like more, more more go, go, go, do, do, do, which is cool. I wouldn't mind just chillaxing for a hot minute, though. But it's been fun and awesome. And I know for some of you up in the northern hemisphere, like you're approaching that season of time where you get out more and have more fun. And that might reflect in your business as well. But I want to say regardless of the season that you're in, like manifesting works all the time, okay.
2:32 And if you haven't listened to episode number one, which oh sorry, it's episode number two. But the first part of this kind of manifesting crash course that I recommend you go back and listen to it first, because it does give the background and manifesting from like a quantum physics, science point of view, not on a deep level, just kind of real surface level...But I think enough to really help you see, like how manifesting works, the power of manifesting and how you can really utilize it to create the life and business that you dream of. And by the way, can I say it's your dream, not anyone else's. So you get to, you get to design it the way that you want.
And in today's episode, I really want to go into the application of manifesting. And if you actually want, I also have something you guys can go grab. So if you want the steps laid out for you for manifesting, you can go ahead and grab that from confidentcoachacademy.com/manifest, and I lay out the steps for you there.
Okay, so go grab that if you want to be able to become better at manifesting, I 100% recommend you go grab that. And let's dive into the application of manifesting. So I wanted to share with you guys and experience I really love remembering this actually.
So this was almost 10 years ago to the day. And I was 38, about to turn 39. And I had decided that I wanted to be in Italy for my 40th birthday. Now, that may not sound like that big of a deal for you guys but I want to give you guys some context. So at the time, we had three young children. My husband had not long finished off his career in the aviation industry and he had, he was in this kind of stage where he was trying to rediscover what he wanted to do and hadn't decided.
We also like I had a business, obviously, I was an entrepreneur. And I'd had some successes online and offline. But honestly, I didn't have like this flow of clients coming in and my coaching business hadn't even started. I had programs or do workshops or things that clients could get, but I didn't have like this steady stream of income always coming in. I'd learned how to do some really cool things as an entrepreneur and I was really proud of myself, but my business was definitely not thriving.
So we had my husband who had had his career change, we had three young children. I was homeschooling our kids as well at the time. What else can I tell you? The income wasn't flowing in, we had some debts, just things weren't exactly ripe for, you know, a trip on the other side of the world, for your 40th just didn't seem like if you just have a look at like, oh, yeah, that makes sense that you go or doesn't make sense that you go, most people would say, "ah, no, now's not the right time for that".
5:28 But for me, I knew that I didn't want to let my past decide my future. And I had, like, every time I daydreamed, about going to Italy, I was so lit up and excited by it, I knew that that was the right decision for me that that was the right desire to lean into. So I thought about it, I contemplated and I kind of had this decision-making process. And I decided I would be in Italy for my 40th...
Even though, even though my circumstances didn't necessarily say that the timing for it was good.
And here's what I want you to lean into, and really pay attention to...
Often when you want to do something big, your current self will stand there and listen to your past self and your past self will say, all the reasons why you shouldn't go for the thing that you really want to go for, okay?
6:26 Remember, your past self has, has helped you to arrive at your current place, like the circumstances you're experiencing in your life now are based on your past self and the way that she has thought about things or done things and her habits and her beliefs and her perspectives. It's like that's where you are now is the result of your past self.
And to listen to your past self, when you want to future results. just doesn't make sense, right? When you're when your future results are different. It doesn't make sense to listen to your past self. Of course, there's lots of value that your past self does bring to your life and can bring to your life. And there are some elements of what your past self, you think, like might be worth listening to, right? Of course, I get that. But truthfully, when it comes to making decisions around things that you have not done before, have not experienced before, or that a really big stretch for you. You want to make sure that your present self is listening to your future self.
7:30 And my future self was having a ball in Italy. My future self was really excited by the idea of going to Italy. So I will tell you, you can imagine there's lots of amazing reasons to go to Italy, right? Like there's the architecture, there's the fashion, there's the food, the people, like tons of amazing reasons.
Honestly, for me most of the time, I would just have this image of this old Italian woman going mum Mamma mia was like a combination of the postcard Italian woman that you might get mixed with like, they're the kind of stereotype of the middle-aged pizza guy gone. Mamma mia, that that was what in my head, the image that would often flash up. And for some reason, it still really got me lit up. And I knew that there was something about me going to Italy, that was going to so be worth whatever changes I needed to go through to get my back there.
So I decided I would go to Italy for my 40th. And like I told you guys, the context, like it didn't seem like the ideal time to make that decision to go. But I will tell you what happened next? Well, I decided to throw an Italian thing birthday party. I invited my siblings and you know, their children. So you know, some of their children are adults. So they had their children's I had like my siblings and my nieces and nephews, and some of my grand nieces and nephews. And I had this party, I made some decorations. And I had red and green and white for the color theme, and obviously prepared Italian food and some of the stereotypical food so like, probably I did Bolognese I can't truthfully remember and pizza, and whatever else, right.
But the point of the party was so that I could declare to my family out loud where I would be on my next birthday. And I knew that was a bit of an audacious move, but for me that it would give me more impetus to follow through with the action on my decision.
And honestly, I was 100% confident that it was possible. And that even with the current situation that my family was in, and that I was in and with the thoughts that I thought in the past, I still believed I would get the inspiration that I needed, and that I would figure out the things I need to figure out and that I would take action.
So what I knew about myself was that I would be or become who I needed to be to get my butt to Italy for my 40th birthday.
And I will tell you within that year, I officially started coaching. And before my 40th, I even got to travel to Italy three times. So my husband and I, we also met up in Europe. So I got to spend a week in Finland with him, because he needed to go to Finland for something else for business. And I got to travel to France, in Greece and Turkey.
10:24 So I can tell you, I got what I initially wanted and made a decision around, and so much more. So what is the application here for you, I want you to like think of what I just shared with you. And obviously, the process started with maybe some dreaming, maybe some just imagining things and that's lovely and I think we should Daydream. Daydreaming is essential, but the real action piece here when it comes to manifesting is not the daydreaming, it is the deciding.
So if we break this down, so that you can figure out what you need to do the first solid action is to make a decision. And that it does not mean trying to do something, it does not mean hoping to do something, it does not mean wishing it does not mean even committing. It's, it's from this place of decided. It's as good as done.
And so I want to share the tip here, because decision-making is one of those places that peefin.. not keeping peefin ... people often, haha, (I was just trying to combine both words) that people often get stuck in.
And decision making is one of those skills, which is essential for running a business and essential, I believe, for your happiness in general, so I think it's really important for you to become good at the skill of decision making. But there are a few hiccups that people often go through when it comes to decision making.
So I want you to become aware of these and think about has this happened for you at all, or in your recent past or maybe in the past in general, as is something that's still happening.
So just become aware of do you sometimes feel like let's say that you've made a decision, but then you notice that you are taking actions that aren't in alignment with that decision? To me, if that's the case, I will tell you this is usually evidence that a solid decision was not made in the first place. Okay, if you've made a solid decision, where you're like, Yeah, this is as good as done, your behavior begins to change in ways that are more in alignment with your future self and where she is going to be not in alignment with your past self. If you see your actions are more in line with your past self, that's not a solid decision, you want to go back up and kind of just tweak whatever decision you've made, okay.
Don't give up, don't throw it out. But you'll want to go back and tweak some things. Okay.
Some other things to become aware of is - is that you might be making decisions, but they're not very intentional. So they kind of default decisions. And you might have heard the phrase like when you don't make a decision, that is a decision, right? So you may or may be very unconsciously making decisions. And that is all coming from your past self. Decisions that are kind of made by default, unconsciously they're made from your past habits, your past way of thinking your past perspective.
And if you want to do something that you know, big and you haven't done before, you can't again, you can't make decisions from that lens of your past self, you've got to make them through the lens of your future self. So you want to make sure that you're being very intentional in your decision-making.
Another thing to become aware of is sometimes people really procrastinate the decision making. And this is different and I'm sure this will come up in a future episode, you know, different from making decisions slowly, because there can be power and that sometimes, but I'm talking about sometimes you just procrastinate and procrastinate decisions that need to be made or you could make so that you can start you know the beautiful process of manifesting.
Or you might notice that you try to avoid making decisions and areas of your life in business where you just don't feel you're competent. And it just doesn't feel natural for you. Basically, where you believe you're going to need to put in an increase in cognitive effort, you might find yourself like really trying to avoid those decisions and you really want to discomfort yourself and talk to yourself about hey, you know, I know that there's going to need to be some school adjustment here and my brains gonna have to be working harder on some days, but that's okay, because that's just going to be for small sets and just talk yourself through it so that you can get to a place of making intentional decisions, quick, intentional decisions, and also knowing that challenges are going to come but that's okay. It's part of the journey. It's part of the fun of it actually.
Okay, so there's just some things to be aware of when it comes to decision making. But yeah.
You also may notice that you actually don't know what to decide upon. And I see this a lot of the time with women, particularly, who haven't given themselves permission to dream big, or to go for things that they really want.
And I see this particularly with clients who have been in relationships where they've been maybe married or in partnership with someone who's maybe been narcissistic, or very difficult to be in the relationship with from their perspective.
And I see it in also a lot of women I coach who are mothers and who, often everything has been about putting the children first, the children first, the children first. And I want to tell you this, it's okay for you to go for your big dreams AND take care of your family. It's not an either or, you don't have to just do something that's for the good of the family, at the sacrifice of yourself.
Although, of course, when we're talking about raising families, and just living in general, making a sacrifice for the well-being and happiness for other people can like just be a natural thing to do.
But when we're talking about you, and intentionally creating the life that you want, know that your desires and your wants are good, they're great, not because the desire itself is good, or the want itself, that's good. That's not the point of the goal. The point is about challenging, challenging yourself to grow and to become a new person, or the next version of yourself or, and I know that those phrases kind of don't really hit it well, but just allow your evolvement.
And also know that you role modeling, going for what you want is so good for the other people in your life, whether it's your spouse, partner, your children, your parents, nieces, nephews, whoever ... the people, you are your clients, your friends, it is so good for you to role model you going for those things. It gives permission for all of us to really live a more deliberate, intentional life and go for the things that we want and support each other in the process.
Okay, it's not a, it's not at this or that it's this and that.
Okay, so anyway, those are just some things to look out for, when it comes to decision making. All righty, I want to talk about another part of manifesting now, on a previous episode, you would have heard me talk about the experience of the particular night that I made the decision to become a six-figure coach. Now prior to me making that decision, I was really frustrated with my husband. Like, I've just I was angry, frustrated, and all the things and what came of it was eventually I allowed myself to cool down a little bit and then decided that I would just go ahead and create the six figures that I've been talking about anyway, just go do it. And so I gave myself a hot moment, then I made the decision.
So I've been I've done the process that I just talked to you guys about like I, you know, I dreamed about it often enough. And I knew with every fiber of my being that that was something that I wanted to lean into that I wanted to achieve, and and do. And so I made the decision.
18:18 But the next part of what happened is the part that I want to talk about and how you can implement it for yourself. And that is how you embody that decision. And how you embody that decision and move forward and make sure you're taking aligned action is you want to take some time to think about who your future self is, what are her thoughts, and not just any future self version of you, but the future self who has the results that you want.
So as I thought about, okay, what is my future self look like as a six figure coach, I was like, wow, she's organized in these ways. She has fun and these way, she prioritize it at a time like this.
And I went through and really thought about it and not just thought about obviously from what other people do as six-figure coaches but also the way that I wanted to live as a six-figure coach, because remember, it's your it's your life that you're designing here in your business.
So I took what I really felt worked in some of the times people think but I don't know what habits, you know, that type of person has, because I haven't done that yet. But I promise you this enough. There are enough examples where you can think of at least some elements and then also remember to apply it to the way that you want to do it anyway.
So for me, one of the things I knew for sure, that I wanted to change up was how organized I was in and it manifested in showed up in ways my disorganization at that time showed up in ways that were really obvious like the clutter on my desktop on my computer, right?
Me having to take extra minutes every time I wanted to log into something because I didn't know what my password was, just like disorganization was showing up as definitely being a thing that I was like, you know what a six-figure coach wouldn't take, you know, an extra, maybe 40 minutes in total each day looking for passwords for the different things have gone into because of the level of disorganization.
And I know that Google Chrome and other you know, password, things make that like a non-issue now, but at that time, it was an issue for me. And so for me, there was organization was one of the things that I wanted to uplevel also only spending time on the priority tasks, which led to leads and sales. Firstly, those are my priorities.
20:36 And so I like thought I took time to think about it. And I will tell you, I have made life-changing decisions often enough that I have seen this kind of like this ideal timeframe, usually that that's a good time to give yourself a transitory time to, to move from your old self, or your current self, sorry, to the embodying the next level of who you are.
Okay, so that often happens from like, the next day of you making the decision. And I'm going to clarify all of this in a hot second. So let's just say you make the decision, like three o'clock in the afternoon, right?
The next morning, when you wake up, is the day usually where you're going to begin embodying the personality, the traits, the behaviors, the habits of your future self. Okay? Now, sometimes it just works out because of certain things that are in motion or in place, it makes sense for you to give more time than that, and I'll give you an example.
So there was the year I decided to stop eating refined sugars. My dad has dementia, or sorry, my dad had dementia, my dad passed away a couple of years ago, but he had dementia. And, you know, part of dementia is like diabetes on the brain - can be a big contributor. And I knew that I wanted to strip out refined sugars from my life.
And so I made a decision that I would do that. At that particular time, it was around Easter in that year. And I knew that I was, I was already going to make a self-saucing chocolate pudding to take to my family and I hardly ever cook it, and I make a fabulous self-saucing chocolate pudding. Like I really want that that would make a great farewell. So actually made it I ended up making it three times over the period of a few days. It's like, like a big grandiose goodbye to my past self. And my current self got to celebrate all of the ways like I'm a great baker and all of the things and then I let that go. And then after the day after the family gathering was the day I woke up as someone who no longer eats refined sugars.
Okay, so let me so I walk you through those things. Just to give you some examples of what it might look like for you. Obviously, it's gonna depend on your situation. But for me, my life-changing decisions have always meant I've had a transition either, like for the rest of the day, usually, sometimes the transition actually has been, like, faster, like it could start on that day. But usually the transition has been like, I'll go to bed as my old self, and I wake up with my new self habits.
23:29 So how do you do that?
Well, you take the time, like I said, to think about what are the thoughts, the priorities, the habits that your future self, who has the result that you want, has! Now some of those things, you might think, Oh, well, I don't have this habit, it's going to be hard, it's gonna take time, some of you might look at, you know, the science of habit making and depending whose research you look at, it might say, like, you know, seven days, 21 days, 30 days, 90 days, whatever.
For me, I have seen and experienced habits change, like that! So while often some habits do take longer to change, it's also been my experience that they can change, like, instantly.
And, you know, you don't know to get in and go, which habits are going to change instantly and which one's going to require a little bit more skill building and persistence and all of those things, but my point that I really want to get to hear is part of it is like becoming aware of what those new thoughts will be, what those new habits will be, what those new maybe rituals or routines...
because a lot of it like, there's usually only going to be a few habit changes. A lot of it will be around the rituals and routines as well. And, and so you have that time but also I feel like it's equally important just to say the goodbyes to the old you and acknowledge all the cool things that she brought to the table. Particularly the parts of you that you're going to be saying a bit of a goodbye to.
So, like for me, like the fact that I chose to stop eating refined sugars. And yet, I was a really great Baker. I'm really great at baking, delicious banana cakes and self-saucing chocolate puddings, and all sorts of delicious foods, which my family have enjoyed over the years. And I certainly was not going to be making those things as much though I still do make them from time to time for my family and we've adopted some new recipes that I can enjoy as well. It's just different. But I wanted to give myself a big hug, and just say, you know what, you've been amazing. For all the delicious things that I have made for my family. Okay, and that they've enjoyed.
So you want to think of you know, the, the you that's existed. How do you want to say goodbye to her? And also how are you going to welcome your future self? And so there tends to be a bit of a transit transitory phase. And then obviously, you want to get into embodying those things as you move forward.
26:06 So for me, like part of the decision is like, I wake up as this person on this day. So that's just a really important thing for you to do as you move forward. And as you begin to embody the you who already is living and has the result that you wanted.
And it's not about faking it to making it. So for me, for instance, when I decided that I was a six figure coach, I didn't go around saying I'm a six-figure coach to people, it'd be a load of crap. And by six figures. I mean, like, you know, six figures in a year, not six figures over like years and years, you know, once you've made six figures. And so I didn't, I didn't go around saying that to people. I just lived as if I had it already happened and I knew and I acknowledged it to myself.
But I really wanted to make sure I knew I wanted to make sure I want to make sure that you know it's not about faking anything. And it's not about being deceptive to people, or to anyone else. It is really about you, you being on board with you, you knowing how your future self does things and you're doing things and thinking about things the way that she does them.
27:19 A lot of the time people get stuck here because they think about all the things that they that their future self would do that they literally can't do. So for instance, maybe your future millionaire self has a particular type of car, one of my friends bought a BMW X seven. And let's have a look at that. I'm like, Oh, that's pretty gorgeous vehicle, right? And here in Australia. No, I think they're like $150,000 Plus, right? And, you know, most people don't spend that on a car but maybe your millionaire self would have a BMW X seven, right? Okay, so you don't have their car right now. Maybe you've got some little car that you really don't like driving that much. Well, in you might say to myself, well, I can't push it. I can't do those things. How do I embody someone who's like a millionaire, when I don't have the millionaire kind of luxury lifestyle, I have a crappy little car, a house that needs a bunch of repairs, or you know, bla bla bla bla, well, you're focusing on the wrong things.
You're focusing on the things that you like, you feel like you can't change right now which by the way you can. But rather than all the things you can't do, there's so many things you can do that embody being a millionaire already. So focus on the can list, not the can't list. So the can list might be oh, you know what I can be like a millionaire who loves their car loves it, BMW f7 is going to keep it clean. So maybe you can just keep make sure you're keeping that car that you've already got clean and loving that car and being grateful for the fact that it's taking you different places, right.
But there's just so many other things that you can do that a millionaire does do. Maybe they like take really good care of their health. Maybe they drink lots of water and hydrate, maybe they go for walks.
Maybe they send like lovely notes to all the friends who have been helpful to them. Just you think of what do you think your list is of a millionaire and the way that you want to live as a millionaire. And think of those attributes, and I can promise you there's you've got a huge list of things you can do.
One of the things that I knew that I could do, or not even I could that I would do when I decided to be six figure coach was have a full fruit bowl on my table all the time. Okay. I wasn't going out and spending 10s of $1,000 on fruit I was just keeping my fruit bowl full - because to me that felt abundant.
I also started getting more messages because for me if I'm a six-figure coach, I get messages when I want messages so I started getting more messages. There are things that you can do I promise you. You will have a huge 'I can' list when you take the time to think about it and do this in the transitory stage. So whether it's an hour where that whether it's until the end of the evening and then you wake up is you In New South, give yourself a list of a whole bunch of things you can do. And just decide on a few that you're going to adapt and adopt immediately. And as you're embodying your new, you also make sure that you're clear like what is the next action? The six figure you or the whoever it is you, you've decided you're going to be and identify as make sure you know, what are the absolute priority activities that she does. Okay?
So anyway, this has been your, your kind of mini class on manifesting, or your crash course on manifesting, those are a couple of things that you can do to really start to start manifesting the life and business that you dream of and that you desire.
And I'm like patting you on the back and giving you high fives and hugs and all the really good things, sending you lots of positive energy your way. Make sure you have grabbed that list. If you haven't already go to confidentcoachacademy.com/manifest to get the PDF and goes through some of the other steps which I haven't gone through today yet. And I'm sure I will on future episodes. And I want to also remind you if you've got questions, whether about manifesting or just anything else to do with running a profitable coaching business, then you can go to my website, confidentcoachacademy.com/podcast. And on that page, you'll see two buttons where you can either at number one, send in your question via like voice audio, or you can type in your questions there and I can I can possibly give you a shout out, and I'll include your questions. I'll answer your questions on the podcast if I think your question will be really helpful to the podcast community. All right, my love lots of love and sunshine to you have an awesome day and I will catch you soon.
