This is episode six of the Confident Coach Academy podcast and if you have been holding back, because you feel like you're not quite good enough yet or you find yourself comparing yourself against other coaches in the industry, make sure you listen in to today's episode, I'm going to share with you two powerful experiences. Let's dive in.
Hey, my friend, how are you? I hope you're doing amazing as always. And if you're not sending you a big Virtual hug, really quickly, I want to say this.
I am recording this episode in my office. And you may hear a dog barking sometimes, we've had this bit of dilemma happen where we've had new neighbors move in, and our new neighbors happen to have a really large dog, which they situate on the side of the house, which is closest to my office. And so I'm trying to solve the dilemma.
My husband very kindly bought some soundproofing, which he started to put up in my office. But just know, if the dog starts barking, I'm just going to be speaking anyway. I'm just going to keep going anyway. And you know, we may try and edit parts of it out. But it can be really difficult with a dog barking in the background over all the things that I want to say.
So I just wanted to be really transparent about that, and share that with you. And I also wanted to share about something else that's been happening.
1:53 So as some of you may know, I've spoken about how I have been learning Korean. And I'm loving the journey of learning another language.
And while I've been learning this language, I'll tell you, I've been putting in a lot of effort to learn the language. I mean, I'm not saying, you know, I'm studying for hours each day, but I still feel like I've been putting in lots of effort from lots of different angles. And it's been over a year and a half. And I finally feel like I've just gotten over this invisible hump, honestly.
And I know so many of you guys can relate to this from a business perspective. I mean, maybe from a hobby too, but from a business perspective, a lot of the time we can feel like it, we've been putting in all this effort consistently and even daily, and the results aren't showing yet, at least not in the way you hoped that they would.
And I mean, I can tell you, I hoped that I would have been better at speaking Korean than I am now. But it's such a relief for me to actually finally see that I've gotten over this invisible feeling hump, that I actually am able to speak more Korean and understand more Korean as I listen to it....
And our businesses can be the same. You know, I just want to encourage you, if you feel like you'd be putting in a lot of effort, and the results aren't showing just to keep going.
Just think of it like you're so close to hitting gold, you're digging for gold, and it's nearly there. Just keep going. Okay. I just wanted to give that encouragement, because I just very, very, I just felt so very excited about that. And I know you guys can relate, and I thought it might be helpful to encourage you from that way.
3:41 Anyway, today I wanted to speak about impostor syndrome. And I know this is such a big topic. And I could hit this at a multitude of angles. But one of the ways that I most often see impostor syndrome showing up is where it's not like we feel like we're a fake.
That's not usually what my clients tell me or give me feedback on. Infact, I can't even honestly recall, like one client ever saying to me that they felt like a fake, to be honest.
I mean, it could have happened. But in my 10 years of coaching, I can't recall a client telling me that they felt like a fake.
4:20 What I do know is that they will sometimes share stories of seeing someone else do something and thinking that they should be further along than they are and holding themselves back with their thoughts.
Because they are using their comparison of them to someone else to mean that they shouldn't stand out in the crowd of people in their niche or niche ... that there's someone else better than them, so why should they do it?
And really - that they don't belong, because there's someone else or some or a bunch of other people who do it better than they do. And so they feel like, why should I do this? Or how can I do this because I like, I'm not good enough.
Like, I really don't, I'm not entitled to stand out when there are other people who are so much better at this than me.
And I want to tell you, you certainly are entitled to stand out. And I know, you know, their word entitled, is a bit of a dirty word now, but but I want you to know, you can stand out, and you should stand out, because there are people who you can help, that you're going to be better at helping than those other people who seem like they're so far ahead on the journey, you're going to be better at helping them than they are.
I really, really believe that, like, we have this unique thumbprint if you're, if you're gonna use that word of like, you take your skills, your knowledge, your gifts, your experience, and you combine all of that. And that makes us unique. Yes, we'll have some of the same skills as some other people. And yes, some will be further along than right. And some you'll be further along in, right.
And it's not about comparing yourself to anyone else's journey, because honestly, you're not even seeing everything on the journey on their journey, you're just seeing the surface level of it, you're not seeing everything that's gone on behind the scenes for them. And everyone starts and everyone's got to go through the steps of building their business, everyone's got to go through the steps of like, deciding on what strategies they've got to use, they're going to use to attract leads and deciding on what strategies they're going to use with selling and enrolling their clients.
And then they've got to work those strategies. And what's going to make it easier for you to get results in your business is if you stop comparing yourself against anyone else.
And just start, like showing up as if you've already got the results and get in and do the work till you're good at doing the work.
And I wanted to speak to this point of view, that is actually even in some cases, not about you. And I know it's really helpful to you know, like share case studies of the results that we've gotten for ourselves and obviously, for other people. And I know it's really helpful to share our journey and, and let people know that we can relate to them in so many ways.
And we want to be able to feel like we steps ahead of our clients on some aspects as we share those stories. I know all of that's really, really helpful.
But ultimately, it's really important that we remember this one thing that all our clients are really, really interested in is if you can help them.
Like that's truly what they are most interested in, if you can help them to get the result that they want. That's the truth of it. And I thought it'd be helpful for you if I shared this story or this experience that I had with my mum.
So when I was seven years old, I decided I wanted to start speed skating. And I had begged my mum for a while after trying on my cousin's skates and I couldn't even stand up on them without her helping me but I just was so excited by being in skates and I tried a different few different types of skating, I did figure, I did dance. And then I tried to speed and I loved speed skating skating and so my mum, let me do it.
And I got good at it really, really quickly. And I went to the nationals. And I remember them telling me the story about how she was sitting in the grandstand. And I was actually in the finals of this particular event. I don't remember which race it was like whether it was 800 meter race or whatever, but it doesn't matter.
But my mom was sitting there watching my race. And she was actually sitting next to my club president. And my club president didn't yet know that my mum was my mum, and he was watching my race also, and really excited for me. And he was saying, oh my goodness, she is so good. If only she had like better equipment..
Can you imagine if you're a parent, and someone else tells you like your kids equipment is sucky. And it's holding them back kind of, you know, that's basically what he was saying. And, and not knowing that you're the person who's in charge of the equipment anyway, so ...
I can promise you from that day forth, my mum got us the best equipment I say us because my brother would watch me skate as well. And he loved the look of it. And so he ended up joining and we both did really, really well.
We both had the best equipment, like I said, and we both had three coaches.
And so this is where I want us to relate it to what I was saying earlier, so we had these three coaches, and one was current world level competitor and now there had been a previous world level competitor and then there was my mom, who she didn't start coaching her straightaway. But she listened to the other coaches and looked at what skills we needed to learn and then just, you know, she applied what she knew about Psychology because my mum was very good at several other sports.
And she started to coach us as well.
And the funny thing is my mum can't even skate.
You know, I never ever saw her on a set of skates. And so it wasn't about whether or not my mum could skate.
In this case, it was about whether or not she could help myself and my brother to become great skaters.
And that's what I want to remind you of when it comes to you working as a coach, ultimately, it comes down to, like, can you help your clients get results, and my mom was able to help my brother and I become champions.
And that was amazing. And, you know, we learned so much from my mom in terms of like the psychology of winning and the psychology of like, not quitting the psychology of working through pain, like, you know, when things get painful while you're skating, and a whole bunch of other things, right? That my other coaches actually weren't as good at teaching or helping with, even though they were better skaters than my mum, or even though they were brilliant skaters, and my mom couldn't even skate at all. So if you think about that, in terms of yourself, as a coach, there are going to be some skills that you have, where you're going to really excel it.
And maybe even those people who you're comparing yourself against, don't even have that skill, or they're nowhere near as advanced as you weren't in that skill. And then there's going to be some skills where you're going to need to build and become better at. So I wanted to share that because I thought that experience would be really helpful for you to reflect on.
And another thing that I wanted to share is just to let you know, that we all actually as coaches become better at marketing, and become better at coaching, if we continue to develop ourselves.
I really don't think you can become a good coach, or you are a good coach, if you're not continually upskilling in some way or some area, right.
So I'll give you an example. When I started business coaching, I remember my first client that I ever worked with privately, she, we ended up building this telesummit together, it was a tele Summit, then it's like just an online summit now, right.
But I was able to help her to do that, because I've done that myself. And I had all the steps of what to do. And you know, it was able to help her to do it quickly. And honestly, actually, I helped her to build her email list bigger and four weeks than I had done in like, over a year. And it's fantastic for her. And I was really excited for her. And I don't begrudge those, you know, her getting those results. I think that was amazing, right.
But I was able to help her to build an online Summit, when I wasn't able to help it was a webinar. So we didn't use that strategy, because I had not done a webinar yet. I think it was about another year or even more than that, before I learned how to do a webinar, and to you know, learn all the steps and the details of what goes into not just doing a webinar, but doing a webinar funnel with, with, you know, the registration, the land, like the landing page afterwards, the emails of you know, the prior to the event, the follow up emails, you know, the, and all those bits like those probably that I think 70 steps really, they go into a webinar funnel.
And so I share there just to say like, just because I didn't know, all of the ways that someone can, like, you know, strategize and grow their business, you know, attract leads and get sales ...
it didn't mean that I didn't business coach, or then I couldn't be a good business coach, because I was a great business coach to that client. Like I said, she got really awesome results as far as building her list and getting sales.
And in fact, I will tell you, I got this download. One of my skills as a coach is like, I get these really strong downloads of things that my clients must do.
And usually it's just one or two things, but when I feel like there's a particular part of my body that I feel it in, and I just know like that that's meant to be for them, right.
And so one of the things for this particular client was doing events, and she still does that same event. She had no intention of doing live events.
And then, you know, as I spoke to her about this, she ended up deciding she would go ahead and do them, and she loves them.
It's like the thing that she keeps doing and I love getting emails from her talking about her next live event.
14:44 And so I just share all of these details just to say like, there's no just perfect way of you showing up or that someone should show up in your niche. And it really doesn't matter what niche or niche you coach in .
There's multiple ways to do it, and you comparing yourself and feeling like you're not good enough yet, like you're a bit of an impostor. If you act like you're good enough, it's not an act, my love, like what you've done and accomplished is actually good enough,. okay, your unique blend of how you're showing up is actually good enough. It's not a lie. And there are people who you are steps ahead of, in some areas, you might only be one or two steps ahead of and in some areas, you might be like 10,20, 30, 50 steps ahead, right.
But it's honestly actually really, really powerful sometimes when you're just only one or two steps ahead of someone, because the lessons are really fresh for you.
And the exact instructions in the current environment that, that they're working in a really fresh for you.
And so you're able to really speak to that very clearly for them now. So that's also really powerful. And so I thought it would be useful for you to hear these examples. Because I want to remind you, like you are good enough as a coach, and you have enough skills, and you comparing yourself against other people and using those thoughts against yourself as a coach, it's just really not fair.
There are enough things that are out of our control, right? But what is within your control are the thoughts that you're using against yourself, or they can be against you or they can be for you.
And my love, I say use your thoughts for you, not against you. So this is a really short and sweet episode, really like an encouragement for you. And just to let you know, like, I get it. And every coach who's been successful gets it.
We've taken the steps that you're taking now to get where you want to get and the journey is gonna look a little bit different and you've got your own unique way of showing up and that's brilliant.
I just think we can't get enough coaches. I want to see coaches everywhere, because they're awesome, and you do amazing work. Anyway, that's it my love. I wanted to send you lots of love and sunshine. I hope you have an awesome week and I'll catch you later. Bye
