Feeling like you're never enough can be a heavy mental and emotional block, especially when you're running a business. But what if we told you that we have the tools to help you confront this feeling, understand its roots, and ultimately overcome it?
In today's episode, we peel back the layers of guilt and shame (which are two of the biggest underlying emotions to not feeling like we measure up) this all-too-common stumbling block, exploring the root causes and identifying clear signs that it's holding you back. We're not just here to talk about the issue, we're here to work through it together, using our personal experiences and insights to guide you.
If you want to become a 6-figure or 7 figure Coach, come on over and connect with Kushla:
Feeling like you're never enough can be a heavy mental and emotional block, especially when you're running a business. But what if we told you that we have the tools to help you confront this feeling, understand its roots, and ultimately overcome it?
In today's episode, we peel back the layers of guilt and shame (which are two of the biggest underlying emotions to not feeling like we measure up) this all-too-common stumbling block, exploring the root causes and identifying clear signs that it's holding you back. We're not just here to talk about the issue, we're here to work through it together, using our personal experiences and insights to guide you.
If you want to become a 6-figure or 7 figure Coach, come on over and connect with Kushla:
This is episode nine of the Confident Coaches Academy podcast, and today is one of our special episodes where we're talking about the blocks that are stopping you from getting to the next level in your business.
Kushla Chadwick:
Today, we're diving into the block of not enoughness. I know that this one can be painful for some of you, but we're going to get there. Let's dive in. Hey, welcome to the Confident Coach Academy podcast. I'm your host, Kushla Chadwick, and if you have an audacious dream to really be at service in the world, do a profitable coaching business online and have an awesome life offline, then, my love, you are in the right place. Together we're going to talk strategy, mindset, manifestation, thought, work, energy, work all the things. So let's dive in. Hey, my friend, how are you? I hope you're doing amazing today. I want to jump straight into the block that we're talking about today. It's one of our special episodes and I really want to dive into this block of never enough. For many of you, unfortunately, this is a block that keeps showing up repeatedly in your business and you see yourself kind of spiraling around and around and doing the same things and getting the same very, very small results in your coaching business for a very, very long time, and I have coached many women over the years who have struggled due to past traumas in their lives, struggled because they have suffered with feelings of anxiety for a long time, and so my heart really goes out to all of you women, and maybe you don't feel like you've had any significant traumas and maybe you don't suffer with anxiety, but I know that for many of us, the root of this never enoughness is something that we really want to be able to put to rest Now. You know, doing this work is not it's not always easy. There are definitely things we can do to make it easier, which is why we coach right is because we want to make the transformation for our clients, or help the transformation for our clients to be faster, simpler, easier. You know, more fun, all the things right, but, as you probably know, if you've been in this world for a long time, you know, especially when we're talking about self coaching and reflecting in words, it can be a really difficult thing to do, and so I want to share my perspective on this block and take my experience, share some of it with you so that this can be easier and faster for you to work through if you feel like you've been going around in circles for a long time and you know that probably underneath it all, that there's some kind of deeper work to do on why you feel like you're never enough. And, by the way, if you're like someone who's quite an optimist, if you feel like you've got like this really good loving relationship with yourself, this might not feel like it applies to you. It often doesn't, particularly if you're someone who's like a kind of a go getter, kind of an A type person, quite competitive, and you know you believe in yourself, all of that stuff. You might not feel like this block applies to you. But what you might see is that there can be some sneaky ways, or some sneaky branches that have come up from the root cause of this problem that are still kind of presenting problems in your life, and you'll know that this is likely an issue for you. If you feel like you've been trying to make money as a coach for a long time and you're having difficulty making the money. And, two, if you have difficulty keeping the money, those are usually two of the most significant signs that there is a not enough kind of issue remain underneath the surface for you.
Kushla Chadwick:
Okay, so let's dive in, and I want to share an experience. Actually, I'm not sure if I've shared this one already probably have but I want to share it in context of shame and guilt. So many years ago, I remember going outside and it was a beautiful sunny day. I remember I was wearing like these really cool jeans, this really vivid green t-shirt with white love heart on. I got it from New Zealand. I loved it, right, but I was like I need to do some mindset work because I wasn't making the money that I knew that I could make. I had made, you know, some money. In some ways I was like, oh, it makes some good money, right, but nowhere near the potential of what I knew that I could at that stage.
Kushla Chadwick:
And our family was still struggling. My husband, actually, he had ended his career in the aviation industry. He was an aviation or mechanical engineer. He'd been out of work for months. He was going to his own stuff I was homeschooling our kids, doing a bunch of other things and also, you know, running my business and I was starting to like feel a little bit under the pump right and I was like I need to figure this out, I need to do some stuff here, and so I went outside and, in a head, pen and paper, listening to the trees but it sounded like a beautiful day.
Kushla Chadwick:
And then, as I started to like do some self-investigation, do my own thought work, these stream of emotions come up for me and like the two primary feelings that come up really and this is what underlies this not enoughness for most of us most of the time is guilt and shame. Now, the way that I look at it is guilt is like usually outwards, at something that you've done, so it's the action or the inaction, like what you didn't do or the way you responded right. So that's guilt's kind of like an outward, I've done this kind of thing and shame is like an inward. So guilt is like the thing that I did is wrong and shame is like I'm wrong. You know I'm not enough in some way, shape or form. And so I wanted to like taking it back to that day. Like I said, these two primary feelings come, bring me to the surface and I started like snotty, crying straight away and like the.
Kushla Chadwick:
The underlying story for why these emotions come up was that a couple of years earlier I had created and launched this program to help them always wait. Naturally, underneath it all, I just really wanted to help them love themselves more. That was like what was driving me and my passion behind it. But in the end I realized I didn't want to actually talk about weight loss at all at that stage in my journey just wasn't a topic that interested me or that I felt passionate about talking about, and so I had. I had hung up my boots.
Kushla Chadwick:
After investing like time, money, energy, effort, you know, into launching this and launching a funnel, and um and getting clients, and and then, you know, fast forwarding back to this time where I'm sitting outside on the sun on the grass, you know, doing this work, I realized that I hadn't actually taken the lessons that I've learned from that and applied it to the area that I really was more passionate about, which was working with other entrepreneurs, right, and so I used other methods to enroll clients and get clients, but I hadn't come back to the funnel, because I had basically created like a funnel trauma for myself and I really was afraid to invest more time and then that I might do the same thing, right. So I had all this kind of combinations of of guilt around that I what I hadn't done, I hadn't gone and launched a new funnel and like shame and disappointment, embarrassment, that my family was struggling financially because I hadn't gone and taken my knowledge and you know my experience that I'd built up by now and applied it for myself. I was applying it for other people but I wasn't applying it for myself and it was really painful for me to look at that and realize that there was probably an extreme amount of loss, profit that our family had gone, had like suffered with, all my business had because of those choices. And I see this happen with so many of the coaches that I coach with right.
Kushla Chadwick:
They, when, when they don't get to the bottom of like, what's driving them to to take action or not take action or respond in the way that they are, when they don't get to the root of it, then often they're left kind of swelling around in this pool of emotion. And the two most common ones here again If you're really struggling to make money and you've learned the strategies I'm not talking about you know, you're just sitting there twiddling your thumbs right but if you've actually gone and learned the strategies and then you find yourself still not making the money after a while, and or if you make the money and it kind of goes straight through your hand straight away and that keeps happening, then you'll find that there's usually a guilt or a shame issue underlying it. So that was like one of my low points in my entrepreneurial journey, which really showed me how, you know, guilt and shame can have such an impact on us and I I Wasn't going around badmouthing myself, I wasn't going around saying negative things about myself. Between you know, the time that I finish launch it like closed down that program, and In that day where I sitting outside in the sun those couple of years, I wasn't you're just saying or you're a loser, kush left for, like you know, not running another funnel.
Kushla Chadwick:
Yet so often these feelings are pushed down and pushed down, pushed down, and what we do is we distract ourselves with our things. But the reality is, if we really want to be able to shift our businesses into high profits and really start to live into our potential, there are a couple of things that are so helpful for us to do right, and that is is number one shift the guilt from Guilt to alignment. So that really means releasing judgments around what we did do or didn't do, or the way that we responded. And there is nothing wrong with guilt. Guilt is only meant to be temporary, though, and so if we actually don't deal with guilt, that's it's. We're pushing it down further and further and further, right, and you'll know that you've started to deal with the guilt the guilt that you might Experience as you run your business, or maybe it's good in another area of your life and it's impacting on your business, right. But you'll know that you're starting to work through it if you've started to take the lessons and Apply those lessons in action. So, if you think about it, you know in terms of you know thoughts, feelings, actions you'll start to see, okay, yes, I'm the feeling this guilt, what are my thoughts about this? You kind of separate the thoughts and then you like, what are the lessons? Right, and you start to just take those lessons, like where, what? Like, what am I going to do on my action line? Right? So you want to get from guilt to alignment and start to do that quicker and quicker.
Kushla Chadwick:
And With the shame, so you know whether you're experiencing that shame as self disappointment or humiliation or or Any number of other feelings, right, you want to take that and move that to worthiness. Now, worthiness is a really interesting topic and you know I have a Christian background and you know, at first, when I started hearing of this concept of you know worthiness out there in the self-help field, I would have very mixed feelings about it all, very, very mixed feelings. But this is the way that I look at it now is just to acknowledge that you are worthy all of the time just because you exist and Worthy. By worthy I don't mean that you're necessarily showing up as your best self. I mean you're worthy of love and good things and you are loved, right, just because you exist. You can't earn love and we don't exist to earn love, not even God's love, because he loves us all the time anyway. Our heavenly parents love us with a perfect love all of the time anyway and we can't destroy it either. What we can destroy is our own peace and our own happiness. So we want to shift that shame, to really tap into those feelings of worthiness and again release the judgments of the guilt that we have and move forward. Just move forward in your business and life, and I know that it's absolutely possible for you.
Kushla Chadwick:
And you know, sometimes, again, you might not. You might not have had an experience like I've had where you've tried to build a funnel but it can show up and just trying to write your own social media posts, it can show up when you have a client who you enroll and you're like, yeah, and then maybe they enroll in a payment plan and then they don't pay the payments and they ghost you when you try and follow up and you're like I'm just a small business and maybe you don't have all the systems set up in place and you start to think I can't do this. Or you know, when you're showing up on social media like I'm not articulate enough or I'm not pretty enough or I'm not qualified or smart enough, and you don't necessarily go around thinking I don't deserve money, but underlying there are feelings, or can be feelings, of not deserving money, and so again it comes down to like are you willing to have a look at your internal story? I teach a principle called the SES principle, which means for every big goal that you have, there is a strategy, there's an energy and there's a structure that's going to help you arrive at the finish line. It's going to help you become a goal getter versus a goal setter.
Kushla Chadwick:
Right, and I say that just to acknowledge, like this inner work that we do with our blocks. It's not the entire answer to the result that you want, right, but it is a part of the answer and it doesn't have to be complicated. You can begin by asking yourself the questions that are going to help, you see, like are you feeling any guilt or any shame around the way you run your business? Or maybe, if you're a business owner and a coach and you are in a relationship maybe you're married, maybe you have children, do you have? What are your thoughts and feelings around the way you're running your business and in your relationships as well? How is the way you're running your business impacting your marriage? Or the way you mother your children?
Kushla Chadwick:
Or I've had clients who don't have children but they're caretakers of their parents, and so all of these emotions that we can have as we navigate our way through life can show up and create a block for us. And I mean there's not a set, there's not actually a real block in terms of something stopping you from creating the result that you want. But our thoughts are real, right, our thoughts have a definite energy and frequency to them and they manifest for us in ways that are there to help you. So you know this problem. If this is something where you feel you want to work through it, it's not a problem really. It's not a block really. It's something that you can shift. It's an opportunity. There are lessons to be learned and they are going to help you. If you take them, if you look at them, they're going to help you to run an amazing business in the very near future. I promise you just get in and do the work and the work doesn't have to be complicated, and the work should this internal work should not just be focused on the internal work. If it's not moving you to do something differently in your action line, then go back and revisit the work that you're doing.
Kushla Chadwick:
Okay, anyway, my loves, lots of love and sunshine to you. Hope this is helpful. Let me know if you enjoyed this episode and if you did enjoy it, feel free to share it. Tag me on the Instagrams, use the hashtag CCA and share this episode, or you can do, if you can be bothered, you can type out the whole word confident coach. Okay to me hashtag. Yeah, I would love to hear what you think and, of course, if you loved it, I would love it if you could share your five-star review on whatever platform you're using and listening to, and if you've got questions, please feel free to come on over to the Q&A page on the podcast confident coach catamé confidentcoachcatamécom and you'll see a Q&A page there. You can type a question or you can leave a voice message there and we'll get in and answer it. Have an awesome day, my loves, and I'll see you soon.
