The Block Of Under Receiving (Ep 4 of Mindset Shifts)

In this special episode, Kushla walks you through what to do when you feel like you have a hard time receiving more ...

whether it's more money, more clients, or even more health and love. 

The ironic thing is that some of the women I've helped through this are some of the biggest givers and so there is a giving-and-receiving imbalance, so in this episode, we share tips that will help you shift your energy around money and receiving more.

If you want to become a 6-figure or 7 figure Coach, come on over and connect with Kushla:

- on Instagram, you'll find her @KushlaChadwickOfficial

- on Facebook, come join our community here: Community

- To book a free $100k Roadmap Session or go on the waiting list for one, go here: https://calendly.com/kushlateam/roadmap

Transcript

Kushla Chadwick: 0:00

This is episode number 11 of the Confident Coach Academy podcast and it is also one of our special episodes. So it's the fourth episode on our series of blocks that we're looking at, and today we're looking at the block of under-receiving. So if you want more money and more clients, if you want to make more of an impact and more income, then make sure you dive in. Hey, welcome to the Confident Coach Academy podcast. I'm your host, Kushla Chadwick, and if you have an audacious dream to really be at service in the world, do a profitable coaching business online and have an awesome life, upline In my love, you are in the right place. Together we're going to talk strategy, mindset, manifestation, thought work, energy work, all the things. So let's dive in. Hey, my friends, how are you? I hope you're doing amazing. I'm doing super duper well. Actually, we have a new puppy in our house. His name's Argo. He's a Dalmatian puppy. He's my second daughter's puppy and he is a rascal, but obviously so adorable, and so things have been pretty full on in the house around these parts with the puppy training and all of that.

Kushla Chadwick: 1:20

I also went away on a trip just recently with one of my best friends, Kelly. She's amazing. She's inspiring to me in so many ways and a super high quality friend. I love her and we went away for four full days. We left on a flight early on a Thursday no Friday morning, come back late on a Monday night. We flew down to Tasmania, which is at the bottom of Australia here, and hired a car and we stayed a couple of different places. Our first night was kind of funny because I accidentally booked a hotel for the wrong location. I don't know what happened. I'm like a book so many places all around the world so often and I have never done that. You know. It was funny and we ended up booking at a place which was still in a great location in the right town.

Kushla Chadwick: 2:12

But I've been having a lot of fun and I feel like I've been receiving abundantly In my life for quite a long time actually, and this is just another example of it, and that's not to say that my life is, all you know, sweet and beautiful all of the time, because it's really messy sometimes in some areas, just like you might be experiencing right and requires great effort sometimes right, and you know I will say sometimes like there are tears and all those types of things, but for the most part, I just feel so incredibly blessed and so grateful for the health that I have, the friends that I have, the love that I have in my husband I mean, I've been together for 25 years our beautiful children and our relationships, our three daughters Now Argo one of my other daughters also has a dog, jaeger. He's crazy and wonderful as well and all of my family. And the reason I'm sharing these very personal things with you because I think so many of you are not really enjoying the sweetness of life as you are trying to create a successful coaching business and a successful life, and I know that it can be really really difficult sometimes not to be swept up in all the things that you can do online to try and create a successful business. You know, some of you might not even be a coach, you might have a job or be thinking about coaching, but there's literally thousands and thousands of options of how you can run your business online and it can be overwhelming and you could learn for the rest of your life. I promise you, with all the content that's online, you could learn a strategy, like you know, every month.

Kushla Chadwick: 4:18

Go deep, dive into a strategy and do that for the rest of your life, and so it's really important that we acknowledge that there needs to be a balance in things, and that's what I really want to talk to you about today is the balance of giving and receiving. I want to talk about the block of not receiving, or under receiving, or pushing away right, and the funny thing is that some of the people who have this block ironically are some of the biggest givers and do incredible things for other people. And you know, as a Christian, I'm big on, you know, things like not being selfish, looking out for other people, helping the poor, needy, helping and by poor I don't mean just financially poor. I don't think it could be someone who's you know struggling with the health, or you know they're in need of a good friend Like there's all sorts of ways spiritually, there's all sorts of ways that we can be in need, and we all are in need, we all have needs, and there are all gaps that we are experiencing in our lives at any given time that other people can help with.

Kushla Chadwick: 5:45

And so, as I talk about this block of not receiving today, I particularly want to share my love and support for those who are the overgivers not support you in your overgiving, of course, but share my support for you in terms of like. I want to really call you out and help you to get into a flow of, if you're going to give big, receive big as well, right, what's meant to be the natural order of things is, like you know, what we put out, we receive back, and it doesn't mean that we're giving in the form of like. As I give this, I want an exchange to happen back for me, like this expectation, like this thing that I'm giving. I want it back because I've been a good person and I've done this. Like obviously, no, that's not what I'm talking about, right, but there's a trust that happens, that can happen in our lives. Like, as we're giving, just knowing that we also are receiving back at any given time. And I know some of you, like that's what you feel, like you've been relying on, right, you feel like you don't understand. I've been doing that like I help, you know, here in this area and I help there and I do this, but for some reason I'm still not receiving back. I'm still like not being blessed in my business.

Kushla Chadwick: 7:13

So I want to talk about why that might be happening, like, if you're a big giver why you might not be receiving big as well. And if you're not giving big, if you're not exchanging tons of value and giving lots of value to other people's lives, then you will receive less, you'll receive small, or even you might say no, kushla, you know what? I get lots of stuff and I hardly do anything. I don't think that's the case, because I really don't think you'd be listening to my podcast if that were you. But on the off chance that there is someone like that who's listening, I can promise you that, however big you're receiving, you can be receiving so much more if you're expanding your ability to give.

Kushla Chadwick: 7:57

Now, here's the thing we don't want to give from this place of depletion. Right, you don't want to, like, keep giving and giving because, even though time is not real, there is a function in time for the sake of our mental sanity here on the planet, right, as we interact with each other. And so I'm going to say, even though time's not real, there is a limit on your time. Okay, and for many of you, because you haven't learned to tap into like kind of extrapolating energy out of the ether which you can do, right, there is like a very, very strong limiting feeling on in terms of your energy, and all of us also have a limit on where we can focus our attention right. So there, we all have limits and we have to be very intentional with what we're doing and where we're giving.

Kushla Chadwick: 8:53

And I don't want you to feel like when I say you've got to give big, that now you've got to add more to your plate when you're already feeling like you're overdoing it. That is not the case. In fact, if you're giving beyond what you feel is healthy for you, then I want you to kind of reel that back in, and I've done another episode, by the way, on the block of overgiving, so go listen to that one. But, yeah, as you're thinking about it, I want you to know like, yes, there is a, there is a certain amount that you're going to want to give, and I think that changes depending on the cycles of our life and the stages of our life, and there are all sorts of different things that can change how much we give at any given time. But, regardless of that, there has to be this beautiful flow in and a beautiful flow out, or a beautiful flow out in, a beautiful flow in of giving and receiving. And if you are not receiving enough, and by enough it could be enough affection, it could be enough respect, it could be enough money, it could be enough health. If you're not receiving that, we want you to get into that beautiful flow so that you can receive it more.

Kushla Chadwick: 10:12

Okay, all right, so let's dive in. What are some of the things we need to pay attention to so that you can get in that awesome flow of receiving right, receiving money, receiving affection, receiving respect, receiving clients, receiving like, whatever it is that's awesome that you want to receive, that's in alignment with who you are, your values, your vision for your life, all of that good stuff. Okay, so there are a few things that we can do, and obviously I can. I'm going to share some of them on the podcast with you today that have worked really well for me and worked really, really well with my clients, and I'm also going to invite you if this is something you want more help and support with, then come on over to my Facebook group. You'll see a link to that in the episode notes Also. Actually, currently it's named Love Uprising, life and Business Coaching or Business and Life Coaching, so you can go find it under that name, but it may have changed by the time this episode comes out. So, anyway, just go check the link. If you can't like, find it straight away on Facebook and anyway. So let's dive in. What are some of the things you can do?

Kushla Chadwick: 11:30

Let's think of our coaching framework, and our coaching framework we have the CTFAR and, for those of you who don't know much about the coaching framework, I've spoken about it a little bit on previous episodes. You know, it's something that I first began learning about from Bob Proctor when I went to a seminar. Well, well, well before I was a coach. And yeah, it's basically we want to have a look at what are we experiencing now and what are the results that we want and what can we change in order for us to arrive at getting the results that we want faster, right?

Kushla Chadwick: 12:06

So we operate from this acronym called CTFAR. So there's the circumstances that we're experiencing, the circumstances. We just look at them as facts, and then there's our thoughts about circumstances, our feelings, there's what we do, what we don't do and what we respond to, all under the action line. So CTFAR, so circumstances, thoughts, feelings, action, and there's the results, right. And so, as far as the results, yes, we want to get clear on what results that we want. And, yes, we want to get clear back up on the C what are the current circumstances that we're finding ourselves in? But then we want to be unattached to both of those, because that's not where our power lies. Our power lies in the TFA the thoughts, feelings and actions. That's where we can take responsibility. Even if we have been at kind of the like a bad feeling effect or an ill effect of someone else's choices, we still have so much power when we take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions.

Kushla Chadwick: 13:10

So I'm going to dive in and talk a little bit about some things that you can think about, feel some different ways that you can feel and some different things that you can do. And specifically, I want to focus on money today for my coaches who want to make more money, because I'm just a big believer in like making more money and being financially free and being able to have those financial resources. If you've got like way, way, way more than enough than what you will ever need or want, then obviously you've got an opportunity to be super generous and share your abundance of money with other people, which is amazing and or even you know spending more on your business so you can create online programs that can reach out and help more people. So there's all sorts of ways that having much more money can be so helpful for you, though I know most of you aren't in that situation yet. So let's dive and talk about the money and you can apply the same principles, obviously, as I'm talking, to other areas that you might want to receive more, whether it's health, you know, more affection in your relationships, all of that good stuff. So, when it comes to your thoughts and I mean I'm not with you, I'm not coaching you right now, but I do want to inspire you with some thoughts that you could consider that will be really helpful to make sure that you're getting into that, that flow of receiving. Okay, and here are some thoughts that I want you to check with yourself and See if they resonate with you, and I want you to see if you can catch yourself, see if you've actually thought these things or said these things, say, in the last Year or six months or recently, or on the regular. Just see if they come up for you, because these are a lot of the things that I Hear people saying that I know impact their ability to receive more. Okay.

Kushla Chadwick: 15:16

So things like you might be thinking, or you can might be seen right, which is evidence that that's what you're thinking that money isn't important, right. That Physical things aren't important, that you don't believe you can make money, that you don't need money, that other people should give their time and talents away for free. Now, that's not wrong, right, we should do things just out of love and generosity at times, but the context of what you're meaning and how you're saying that is a big deal and I can't know because I don't know how. I can't know how you're saying it and I don't have the context because we're not on a coach. You go with each other, but that's something that you definitely want to watch out for if that's you. Yes, some of the people who I hear saying that in coaching circles have some of the biggest money blocks ever. So if you're someone who's saying a thing in that, you might want to just take in with your coach.

Kushla Chadwick: 16:23

If you've got one, you have a hard time Just basically keeping your business afloat, and so some of the thoughts you might be having is like this is too hard. I Don't know what I'm doing, and that's often a clarity problem, by the way, but just something to watch out for. Again, you might be feeling so and I know the feeling line is different and normally want to give feelings just one word. But you might be saying to yourself in your thoughts that I don't feel like my service or product is valuable enough to charge for or to charge much for. Or maybe you've got a coach that said, hey, create a high ticket offer, because I said it to my clients you've got to have at least one high ticket offer, at least one offer that's over $2,000, right. And even if the majority of your money, if you want it to come from a membership site or an online program, that's low ticket or mid ticket, you still want to have a high ticket offer because otherwise you're definitely leaving sales on the floor. Yeah, okay. So maybe there's that. Maybe you feel like you, your service or your product isn't valuable enough to charge more for.

Kushla Chadwick: 17:44

Another thought you could be having is I have love in my life. I'm super in love with my partner, my husband, my spouse or whatever, and I don't need anything else. I don't need any more money Like that could be a thing. This one that I'm going to share next is a really interesting one, which I see a ton, and that's like judging people who have money right Now. What you want to do when you see people with money is you want to celebrate and support them for whatever they've done to get that money right I almost have stolen it Then let's not celebrate that. But, in all seriousness, like, yeah, people who have made a lot of money or people who you see living a more lavish lifestyle regardless of whatever you think I want you to know you don't have the full context for everything that they've done or things that have happened in their lives, things that they've persevered in order to enjoy what they have right now. You just don't know the whole story. So, please, let's withhold judgment on others and just celebrate for them.

Kushla Chadwick: 18:50

And the more relaxed you can be around people who have great things, then the more open you are to receiving those good things yourself From an energetic perspective. When you're happy around other people's wealth, then the universe gets the idea that like hey, that's really cool, she's really comfortable around that, she's really happy around that. Like, let's send her more of that, okay. So make sure you're doing a really good job of celebrating other people's money and wealth and not judging it and it could be as simple as this. You might not go around thinking like rich people are bad, but it could be. Maybe you hear about your brother-in-law and sister-in-law or sister-in-law and you hear that they're going on a holiday and you say something like wow, they're going on that really expensive holiday. They really should be putting that money towards their mortgage Like hello, none of your business. And so I want you yeah, I want you just to catch yourself. If you find yourself doing things like that and judging how other people are using their money.

Kushla Chadwick: 20:00

Okay, another thing, another thought that you could be experiencing or you might hear yourself with, is saying I don't need any help, I can do it myself. Maybe you're feeling frustrated, like why do I have to do it all? Right, and that's definitely. You've gone past the point of being generous with your giving and you'll get into that, that icky space of like giving from a space of resentment. Because when you give, you want to give with a nice clean energy, right, you want to give from a space of love, and you know, for me, one of the things that I really, actually really like about myself is when I give to other people from a really nice, clean energy. I don't ever give out of resentment or I say ever. Like 99% of the time I'm not giving out of like this space where I don't want to. And every now and again, of course, I'm going to catch myself about to do something, or maybe I've just done something and like, oh, that wasn't necessarily the like, the right intention that I had behind that giving, and so I catch myself and correct it quickly. But it's a super cool thing for yourself and your energy field, for what you're putting out into the world when you give from a really, really clean space.

Kushla Chadwick: 21:17

Okay, and that includes in all areas with your children, with your husband, with your clients, with your friends, if you have a job, with co workers all of that giving from a clean space. And if you feel like, hey, but you don't know what my husband's like or my boss is like or my kids are like or whatever, what you're learning there is a lesson to be able to articulate what you really do want to have happen and that exchange with them. And you're probably learning about boundaries. You're probably learning about communication. You're probably learning about, like, sorting through your own values and living in integrity and alignment with those values. So you'll keep getting lessons until you start implementing what it is that you're learning and what those experiences are able to teach you. So there's and there's a bunch of other thoughts I could go through. I've got like this whole list of thoughts, but I know that I want to talk about each of them a lot and I don't want to do that today. So those are some thoughts in terms of feelings, some things to recognise if you're under receiving.

Kushla Chadwick: 22:23

Often, like I said, you're often over giving. When you're under receiving, usually they're, like you know, cousins with each other, but look out for feelings like frustration, resentment, confusion. Often we're under receiving because we're leaving ourselves in a state of confusion. So, for example, a lot of coaches they like especially if you're a new coach, or you're a coach that tends to like maybe you've made some money, but then you keep going around in circles, you kind of can't get past a certain level and maybe you haven't even broken through the six figure market. Well, if that's the case, a lot of the time what I see happen with these coaches is they kind of are stuck in confusion and therefore they under receive in their business because they're confused. They therefore aren't taking appropriate, clear action that will lead to them getting the results that they want. Right. And so, yeah, deal with the confusion. If confusion is a thing for you, yeah, get clarity ASAP. Get clarity around the strategies. Get clarity around your blogs. Get clarity around the structure that works best for you. Get the clarity, okay. So that might be a feeling that you have.

Kushla Chadwick: 23:38

Another feeling could be anger. Anger that you feel like you're overgiving, anger that you're not receiving enough. And sometimes again, when you're not receiving enough, sometimes it's like you're not giving enough in that particular area. So here's the thing that happens. A lot of the time I will see clients. A lot of my clients are moms, or moms Sorry for over, I'm not saying that, but yeah. So a lot of my clients are mothers and they might give a ton to their children and their family but give very little to their business and be frustrated that the business isn't giving back to them a lot. And I'm like my friend are you actually working the strategy? Are you doing the thing and not just scrolling on Facebook a lot? Because what that truly does happen to a lot of coaches they're like I was working a ton and when you actually check their hours, they probably spend most of the time scrolling on Facebook or Instagram or TikTok, whatever platforms they're working on, like looking for ideas but actually not really working, okay, and then it goes from looking for ideas to actually like being entertained or that kind of stuff, right.

Kushla Chadwick: 24:54

So I want you to know, like, if you're feeling angry, check in with that, because giving you want that flow of giving received to actually be in practice in each area of your life. So that given flow is going to happen for your health. It's going to happen for and with your health, with your mental health, like a mental fitness, your physical wellbeing. It's going to happen in your relationships, like you know, your relationship with your intimate partner, your spouse or partner. It's going to happen with your children, if you've got children, your parents, like whatever relationships you choose to maintain. That given flow, that given take, it's got to happen in there as well, and in your career, in your money story, all of those specific areas. There is and there is like you giving and then there's got to be you receiving, okay.

Kushla Chadwick: 25:53

So don't feel I don't want you to make the mistake of thinking, because you're really giving a lot in this area that's not related to your career and your coaching and your business. That means you're going to receive richly in your coaching business Because, yes, things do bleed into other areas of our life, but it will not entirely make up for you under giving in your coaching business. Okay, so that's another area to look out for and so you can see, as you look at the feelings, it really gives a good indication of you know where you need to follow the breadcrumbs in your own life so that you start receiving more. Because you are a divine being. We're all of infinite worth. We're all of the same worth. We've all got this amazing potential and we all are connected. We have this amazing power to co-create in our lives.

Kushla Chadwick: 26:48

But when you feel like, oh, it doesn't matter how much I do, I'm not going to receive, obviously you don't want to do the things right, you don't want to get into action. And that action line is you know, you've got to put an operation. It doesn't mean that you've got to do all the things. One of the things that can happen is, you know, people overwork and then that actually starts to work against them energetically. So I don't want that to happen for you. But I like there are things you've got to do to receive right and if you want that flow of receiving to be ongoing and consistent and beautiful for you. So, anyway, those are just some thoughts that I had. Hopefully they're helpful and clarifying for you today and they give you an idea of where you need to look for yourself so that you are creating more of the results that you want.

Kushla Chadwick: 27:36

And I will say if you also want to create more money in your coaching business, specifically, if you want to receive more, if you want to receive more clients, you want to receive more money and you want to give more impact, give more love, give more support and help more clients have more transformations as well, if you want that flow of giving received happen at a bigger scale on your business, then reach out to me and just reach out and message me on Instagram you can find me at Kush Tadwick or reach out to me in my Facebook group.

Kushla Chadwick: 28:11

You can comment, or in Messenger, you can just reach out and say the word ready and I'll hook up a time for us to chat and see what would be the best way for me my team to support you to be able to grow your business, grow your income, grow your influence and your impact and scale and create an awesome larger business for you, and also in a way where it's an alignment with the life that you want to create offline. I'm all about having an amazing business online and an awesome life offline. Okay, so, my friend, sending lots of love and sunshine to you and really encouraging you to work past this block of under-receiving. If this is you, it's time to claim more money. It's time to claim more of the things that you desire in your life and stop playing small. Stop playing like you don't have the potential to actually do the things that you have in your heart for you to do. All right, that's it. Peace out, and I'll catch you soon.