Season 1:Episode 1: Transform Your Life with the Power of Self-Care: Tips, Techniques, and Personal Journeys(Helping the Strong Friend)

Imagine experiencing reduced anxiety, improved sleep, and more positive interactions with those around you, simply by prioritizing self-care. How can you create an environment that encourages and supports this essential practice for a happier, healthier life? Let us guide you through our personal journeys of realizing the importance of self-care and share the tips we've picked up along the way.

We dive into the various forms self-care can take, from bubble baths to nature walks, and how recognizing our bodies' signals for a break can make all the difference. Learn how to establish an atmosphere that promotes relaxation and peace, utilizing tools like blackout curtains and essential oil diffusers. By the end of our discussion, you'll be inspired to put yourself first and cultivate a self-care routine that not only benefits you but the people around you too. Don't miss out on this transformative episode!

Powerful The Podcast Intro

Powerful the podcast  Outro Music

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:25

Welcome to powerful the podcast. I am one of your hosts Shalonda Carlile Kawasaki Williams, Dr Bianca Bulley And today we're going to talk about self care. It is so important, especially with women, that we take care of ourselves. Self care is something 80% of us don't do as good as we should do. Self care is an activity done on purpose, for enjoyment. It's not always pedicures or manicures or massages. It's actually an activity you do to relax. So I know all of us are, you know, moms or mom figures, and we work full time and some of us are married and have multiple jobs that we are doing. Do you think we are creating an environment where we can do more self care?

Speaker 2: 1:30

Growing up I wasn't taught self care And so I was, at a young age, put in the role of doing for everyone. My mom. If my brother was in trouble, my mom would say what's you going to do? And I'm like what's you talking about? Well, you know, we need to do this, we need to do that.

Speaker 2: 1:52

And so from a young child on, I was taught to do for everybody else, put myself life, and it wasn't until I actually I don't know if even having other women in my life would have made a difference, but it wasn't until I opened and kind of got out of my shell that I saw that I was neglecting myself physically, mentally, emotionally, because self care involves all that.

Speaker 2: 2:22

That I started saying, okay, if I want to do anything, that's okay, I don't have to do anything. If I just want to rest, if I just want to sleep, if I just want to watch TV and binge watch my law and order, that's my self care. I want to go get my nails done and not feeling guilty about it I used to feel if I didn't get something done for the other person, whatever I was supposed to get done, or if I forgot. You know, because people were so used to me remembering and doing And I said, well, i forgot what you mean, you forgot, Right? Well, that's when, you know, as I got more and more open with my circuit, i was like it's okay for me to forget. You know, i have all these other things going on And if I didn't remember first of all, it's not even my responsibility.

Speaker 3: 3:05

And so it's okay for you to say I just didn't want to do it.

Speaker 2: 3:07

I don't want to do it, yeah, and I feel guilty about that. No, that's self care too. We can say no and empower that No.

Speaker 3: 3:15

Right.

Speaker 2: 3:17

And so at first I thought it was getting nails and giving feet done, that was my self care. And then I'm like, no, i need a little bit more, and you know, i might just go to Sephora and just walk around because I love makeup. Okay, i was in there, i was Okay.

Speaker 3: 3:32

That's what I wanted to do.

Speaker 2: 3:34

I might not buy that number. That's what I want, so self care looks different for everybody, right?

Speaker 1: 3:39

We have to remember to not regulate self care to one time a month. We have to implement it daily. Even if it's just getting your favorite candy or taking a bubble bath, or going on the on the porch and drinking a cup of coffee, or watching your favorite movie, or meditating or deep breathing or singing your favorite song in the car, those are all self care that we can do that doesn't take a lot of time. But also Our body tells us when it needs self-care And I think sometimes we don't recognize or we ignore the signs. It could be you're not sleeping. It could be you're having panic attacks, it could be you're a little bit more irritable. Your body tells you.

Speaker 1: 4:38

But we get in this constant array of I gotta do this for the kids or I gotta get this done for work And, like Bianca say, we put ourselves last where we supposed to be putting ourselves first. Because if you don't take care of yourself first, how good are you going to be to take care of others? I had a colleague and she gave the example about if it's one mask on the plane and you had to put it on you or your child, which one would you do? And so the group was kind of like in conflict about it, but the right answer is put it on you, because if you pass out, you can't help anybody else, and so I love that metaphor because we have to make sure that we incorporate that in our day-to-day activities.

Speaker 2: 5:35

Yeah, that's what I'm learning to do. I haven't got down to doing it every day, so I schedule it.

Speaker 3: 5:40

I put it on my phone Right As long as you're getting it in, and then maybe, like she'll understand, maybe just okay, i'm just going to sit in the car 10 minutes. This is my 10 minutes to myself. People don't understand why you sit in the car that long. 10 minutes does turn into an hour, but you better say that. But it helps to go ahead and fight another day, i mean it works for me.

Speaker 2: 6:06

It's many days My husband come home and he's like why are you in the car? Peace, solace.

Speaker 3: 6:14

Peace be still. And I say to myself daily, each day, I need me. You know, everybody else needs me.

Speaker 1: 6:20

You don't need me, I understand it, but I need me you know, and we have to set an atmosphere for self-care, we have to create the ambience. So in my room I make sure I have my blackout curtains, i have a humidifier that has, like eucalyptus and lavender oil. I make sure that my room is an oasis. Because I do so much during the week, i have to make sure when I come to my place of solitude that it's peaceful and serene.

Speaker 3: 6:57

That's how I do it. Like the blackout curtains and Alexa is always on, the rain sounds because my husband gets sick. He said I'm so tired of hearing it rain. Well, it's not rain I said it's raining every day. This is how we're going to go to sleep.

Speaker 2: 7:10

My day. It didn't physically rain, but it rained, it's storm sometimes. It's storm. I come home and I'm like if you only knew what I endured today mentally.

Speaker 1: 7:25

So setting the tone for your day is very important. I made a commitment to myself when I woke up today that I was going to have a great day. When I got in the car, i decided that I wanted to listen to Whitney Houston today. So I put on her essentials and that's what I've been listening to.

Speaker 3: 7:41

So I created the tone for my day Exactly, and you have to speak that over yourself, like the tone is very powerful. You have to. It's very powerful. So, if you speak, if you're thinking positive, you speak positive. That's the day you're going to have.

Speaker 2: 7:56

That's how I started my day.

Speaker 1: 7:58

And also we have to recognize when our friends need self-care and help them get the self-care of their need. And if you know me and both of you all have known me for years I will always say just rest or let's go have a staycation.

Speaker 2: 8:16

I can wait.

Speaker 1: 8:18

I always get on to you all about taking care of yourself.

Speaker 2: 8:21

Yes, you do. Yeah, she'll say I'll be, I don't bother much because I know I'm playful. But when I do, she'll say, oh be, that can wait. Right, What you mean. It can wait And I think about it for a minute. I just like can wait, Right Right.

Speaker 3: 8:40

That we need to see that it can wait.

Speaker 2: 8:42

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 8:44

So we have to make this a mantra, especially for everybody before, for women as well. We have to make sure that we increase the ambience of self-care Because if, when you increase the ambience of self-care, that's going to decrease your anxiety, that's going to decrease your irritability, it may help with your insomnia, it may create more positive conversations with other areas of your life, especially with dealing with people And we deal with people all the time And sometimes they disturb our self-care. So this is our opportunity to take our power back and create that environment for positive self-care.

Speaker 2: 9:33

It also helps your health.

Speaker 1: 9:35

Yes, health is wealth. Well, this concludes our segment on self-care. I would like for you all to have a fabulous day and stay blessed. Bye-bye, bye.