Powerful The Podcast
Season 2: Episode 4:Breaking the Stigma: Men's Mental Health, Vulnerability, and Emotional Expression with Anthony Davis
Why do so many men struggle to seek help for their mental health, and how can we break the stigma surrounding it? Join us as we sit down with mental health expert Mr. Anthony Davis,LPC to explore the role of ego, vulnerability, and trauma in men's reluctance to seek help, as well as the positive shift in younger generations becoming more open to therapy.
From Anthony's own journey of overcoming mental health challenges to the importance of having a mentor or someone to confide in, we delve into the unique experiences of men and the challenges they face when it comes to emotional expression. Anthony also emphasizes the need for mental health professionals to be proactive and vocal about the services they offer, particularly within the black community, and the power of genuine care in suicide prevention. Don't miss this crucial conversation as we work together to break the stigma and encourage men to seek the help they deserve.
Powerful The Podcast Intro
Powerful the podcast Outro Music
Why do so many men struggle to seek help for their mental health, and how can we break the stigma surrounding it? Join us as we sit down with mental health expert Mr. Anthony Davis,LPC to explore the role of ego, vulnerability, and trauma in men's reluctance to seek help, as well as the positive shift in younger generations becoming more open to therapy.
From Anthony's own journey of overcoming mental health challenges to the importance of having a mentor or someone to confide in, we delve into the unique experiences of men and the challenges they face when it comes to emotional expression. Anthony also emphasizes the need for mental health professionals to be proactive and vocal about the services they offer, particularly within the black community, and the power of genuine care in suicide prevention. Don't miss this crucial conversation as we work together to break the stigma and encourage men to seek the help they deserve.
Powerful The Podcast Intro
Powerful the podcast Outro Music
and mental health. This is a problem or this is an issue that we don't talk about enough. We don't get enough education or input on this. So we have a wonderful guest, mr Anthony Davis. He is an LPC, so, mr Anthony, after graduating high school in 1992, anthony moved to Central Mississippi, where he resided since that time. He currently resides in Brandon Mississippi, and with his wife Shabika and his two daughters Jasmine and.
Speaker 1:Haven. Anthony has worked in the field of mental health for over 25 years. He is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Mississippi and Louisiana. A licensed professional counselor supervisor in the state of Mississippi. He holds multiple certifications within his practice, including tobacco education, succession treatment, youth mental health first aid training, cognitive behavior therapy, advanced cognitive behavior therapy, and he also has a trauma focused cognitive behavior therapy specifically designed for foster care youth.
Speaker 1:Anthony earned his Bachelor of Science in Psychology and a Master of Guidance in Counseling from Jackson State University. He has worked in areas of community mental health, vocational rehab, hospital settings, foster care, counseling and the private counseling sector. He has also participated in several research studies pertaining to tobacco cessation and education. He and his wife run their own mental health clinic in Flowwood, mississippi, called Davis Therapeutic Services. Davis Therapeutic Services is a professional and licensed private practice that specializes in helping clients overcome their challenges, achieve their personal goals and improve their competencies, capacity and productivity. Davis Therapeutic Services is faith-based, quality-driven that provides counseling, learning approaches, training and various therapeutic services. We work hard to meet and surpass all of our expectations as it relates to their career and personal goals, mental health and holistic wellness. Let's welcome Mr Anthony Davis.
Speaker 2:Good morning.
Speaker 1:Good morning.
Speaker 3:Yes, ma'am. In today's society there is a stigma that I have recognized, with men reaching out for counseling services, whether it is due to parenting or daddy issue, marital issues. We see a lot of women seeking mental health treatment, but we don't see a lot of men. Why are men hesitant in seeking mental health treatment?
Speaker 2:That's a very, very good question. That's also that's the one I actually struggled with for a while, early in life as well too. Men have an ego, you know, and we don't want to appear weak in front of not just our significant others, our kids, but just in society. Period. The way this world is built, you know, the strong always pry up on the weak. And as a man, if you're a man, if you're trying to be a manly man and you say that you're the head of your household and everything, there's a certain level of responsibility goes nowhere, but there's a mindset that goes along with everything as well too. So to appear vulnerable on any level is seen as a weakness. As a guy, you know now, being a clinician, everything I understand that, that weakness.
Speaker 2:Now is actually a strength that I actually have now, you know, but back then I didn't know that. So when you look at the typical guy nowadays and the things that we face and deal with on an emotional level each and every day, we don't want to appear weak And if there's a kink in the armor our mindset goes to I can be taken advantage of. So if I see or somebody sees me going into a counseling office or whatever like that, the first thing that goes up in our head, especially in our community and it's bad that we say that, but what's wrong with it? What you got going on, you know it's a negative connotation that go along with it and everything And I think that that's one thing that has steered a lot of people me and brother away from treatment. Now one thing I will say now, in today's society, when you dealing with guys like me and you know, in the middle, late 40s I'll be 50 in two years So guys from my genre and my era, we're not more, we're less prone to see treatment.
Speaker 2:Now the younger generation, i will say that now and I've seen this even in my own practice they're more prone and more keen to wanting to help. Now I think a lot of that has to do. I know COVID made a lot of us vulnerable And that made a lot of young people realize that hey, i can't manage this stuff. This thing called life is just hard. You know, i need some help with this. I think that's one thing that has helped the population out as far as that, from the male perspective. But a lot of older guys, old cats like me, they're not doing it. They're not doing it. It's easy for them to go, and now they'll go to the barbershop and tell all their business, you know. But seeking professional help, i think it's just our ego. That's the main problem that we actually have.
Speaker 3:Is there a recurrence stigma against me and seeking help with trauma?
Speaker 2:I think there's possible backlash Again. You know the image that's actually portrayed. You know you, you take a guy, let's say a guy like me, and I and I use myself, for example with this question here.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna take myself into the into an area of. Let's just say I don't have the expertise in mental health like I do right now. All right, if you'd have caught me about, let's say, 30 years ago And you would have mentioned to me about going to see a counselor, i don't thought that you just crazy because my mind said he is may own, don't nobody need to know my business. I Got it. You know that that's always the mindset that we have. But When you're in that quote-unquote revolving door to where things are good, things are bad And I just will to the storm and go through it, you stay in this cycle and the cycle never gets broke because there's no resolution. So why you even? why you need to be seeking treatment in the first place? So I think that's the thing We're not.
Speaker 2:We're not willing to accept change. Number one. Number two we don't want people to know what we have going on. You know I, our races of, we can be very, very secret. You know we don't know, nobody know what's going on and and it's really honestly just the opposite. People need to know What's going on with you, pete. You need to be. You know, nowadays you got to be concerned about people. You need to call in people and find out What's going on with J Man. You know, i'm just, i'm just trying to see. You know how you doing brother hadn't heard from you in a while. You know, and a lot of times we're reluctant to receive that type of Concern, that type of care or whatever like that, because that's not what's considered the norm in our race and everything. But I think that's that's another stigma that we, that's another hurdle that we have to get over, that you have to be more open-minded And understanding to the person's feelings, whether that person is really active in your life or not.
Speaker 2:You know I try to make it a habit. At least once a month I reach out to partners of mine that I have not talked to it like it months or some some case even years. You know I go through my phone like man, ain't, ain't, ain't. Talk to John in a minute. Let me just give my heart. You know He'll pick up the phone and be surprised that I call. So hey, man, nothing going on. I was just thinking about you. Just let you know a man, i'm here if you need me or whatever like that. You were just on my mind and we don't understand and realize how far that one phone call Can take a person John could have possibly been on the on, the on the man of thinking about harm himself, committing suicide Or whatever like that, because nobody cares, and that one phone call Stopped him from doing whatever tragic thing that he was gonna do to himself, or even to somebody else, for that matter.
Speaker 3:I can agree with that. I feel like a lot of men Relationships are super official. In my practice I talked to a lot of the patients and they I asked them Well, have you checked on this person or what is your relationship with this person? and the first thing that they said Oh no, we're on accent questions like that. I said what do you all talk about? the game playing dominoes, playing cards, stuff that's going on in the neighborhood of pop policy? I said so you all don't talk about personal things at all. Not really, and I don't know if that started from How their parents brought them up. Was would go on in the house, stay in the house.
Speaker 2:That's part of.
Speaker 3:I'm not sure where they came from, but it's totally different from female relationships when it comes to me and their friendship.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, when you look at a male's perspective, you know we are very, very cut and dry. You guys are Emotionally sometimes I'd have to be all over the place, you know, and y'all are more, y'all more You know. But you guys are you more open and free with your emotions and your feelings? we bottle up a lot of stuff. All right, let's use this for example. Let's just say you have a husband and a wife. They're there, they're having a conversation, okay, and things get so heated to the point to where she's just really just talking, talk. She's expressing her emotion and feelings. We have a tendency to block all that stuff out and the first our defensive mechanism is with to shut down. We don't want conflict, we want life just to be just smooth and easy going, because we have enough stressful issues going on And things we bout and deal with. So to us to shut down and not talk about those things, that Helps us out, at least for the time being being. The downside, that is, is that over time that stuff builds up and it builds up and it's like that. No, we all in theater We always talk about that coke, can that you can shake it up and nothing happens. But eventually, when you shake it up and you pop the top, it's gonna explode over all, over everywhere, and that's that's where our downfall comes into play.
Speaker 2:I'm pro Therapy because I'm a therapist, but even not because I'm a therapist, i've had to seek therapy at one point time in myself. You know, in my own life I was suicidal at one time when I was in school at Jackson State, lost my grandmother and was very stressed when trying time for me. So I'm in school for a time, i've got a part-time job, i'm in the military as well too. I'm putting myself through school and boom, my big mom of dad's. I don't know how to process that. So I'm looking for again the easiest way out That's less stressful for me. That's why my mind said took me there. Thank God, i had one of my professors and he was actually my mentor, father Richard Childs, in the psychology program in Jackson State to actually talk to, and it was because of him that I, honestly, i actually sit before you today, right now.
Speaker 2:I was just really on that edge because I didn't know how to process my emotions and everything and And that was another thing that kind of really made me really want to get into this field and everything, because I understand I've been there how things can just break down mentally, need motion for you and everything, and that's the reason why it's hard. Or I'll say, those conversations that we have as guys are a tiny difference from which I'll have now. We will come fine in, like one, maybe two people the most That we really feel that we can trust, and that's that's part be of that the answer to that question of yours as well too. We have serious trust issues and.
Speaker 2:That can stem from an array of things, from bad relationships, from physical and sexual abuse is growing up, no, not having the bond with the father or even a mother, for that standpoint, you know, and we bought up and hold onto things over a long period of time And that stuff can drag on from you know, from as a child, to your marriage, even to your own kids and everything. You know, and I've experienced in everything as well too. My oldest daughter she suffered because of the lack of affection and attention that I actually received And I didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late. Now that bond has been, that the strife and everything has been mended And me and my daughter have a beautiful relationship, better than it's ever been before. But that's, that's a. That's a amount of time. I can't get back, you know, and I don't beat myself up about that. I just try to be a better father and a better husband now than I've ever been before.
Speaker 1:And you made a great point. You had somebody, you had a mentor or somebody that you identified and was able to build a rapport. A lot of men don't feel that they have that or certain things that they have went through. That's true. Or you can't talk about oh, i can't talk about my uncle sexually abused me. Or I can't talk about my aunt sexually abused me, or my, my uh cousin. We can't talk about certain things because it is made to be embarrassing. So you all have, for what I've listened to from other men have not been given the same opportunities as us to feel free to talk about whatever's going on in your life. It's like certain things are cut off.
Speaker 2:Exactly. You know, like as as a as a young boy growing up, one of the first things that people that you know, your, your father, would tell you you know, big boys don't cry. Yes, they do. If I cut my leg I'm bleeding, yeah, you better leave them and cry, you know.
Speaker 2:But it's instilled in us that we're supposed to be tough, that we're not supposed to, you know, just deal with our emotions and feelings or whatever like that.
Speaker 2:And then now we wonder why we have so many young males as incarcerated, Why we have so many kids or adolescent males have been diagnosed with opposition to define this or to conduct this order. You know, uh, adhd, you know, and the list goes on and on and on. As far as the quote unquote diagnosis they received in their thing, is because they have not, number one, have not identified the major issues and problems in their life. Number two, have not received the appropriate treatment that they actually need or just, in general, had, like you said, carl, out not having someone there that I can just kind of pour out to. I don't have a mentor, i don't have someone that I can just open up to and really talk about what it is that I honestly have a feeling that I'm feeling because of the possible label that I get, which is a week. Well, i think the term that the kids you use, now that I think you're a simp, you know which to me, is asking you know, but hey, pull them out, i'm just an old man, that's all.
Speaker 3:It's nothing wrong with a man being vulnerable.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:But also I know I kind of touched on one that sometimes men feel like that they are not able to tell people and that sexual abuse, What are some other things that you feel like men are hesitant to let us know about Any past traumas and that can range from an array of different things you know, from physical and sexual abuse, traumatic loss of event.
Speaker 2:I a prime example I had a young guy that came in yesterday for an assessment and recently was involved in a drive by shooting. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time in a car and he got hit by a bullet but the guy that was sitting beside him lost his life. How do you process that? And so this happened like a week or two ago, fast forward to yesterday. He said now in the car, refuses to get out, said he doesn't want to come in, and he instantaneously blame his mother for it because of other past issues that he's dealt with trauma, the divorce of mom and dad and different things like that. And then he got into a car accident, dad and different things like that, and there was no attention to his need for therapy or anything like that. So he's got animosity and anger built up in her, even though he's just going through a traumatic experience. But the other stuff that he's got going on, that he's never got any resolution to is when so heavy on him, this current stuff. Right now he's not even seeing that this is an out to not just deal with the current stuff, but even the past stuff.
Speaker 2:That's how significant it actually gets for us, and we get so bothered up in our emotions and I got to say this part right here We are so hard headed to it just don't make any sense. We are extremely hard headed. We don't go to the doctor's period, you know anyway just straight from the door. So we've got all of these things working against us. And what Bianca just said it's okay to become vulnerable. You need that level of vulnerability in order to shed light on the issues that you have, so that you can become stronger. We don't grasp that mentality, though. We don't look at it from that standpoint. We look at it from the standpoint of I can't tell anybody in my business, i don't want to appear weak, yada, yada, yada, so forth and so forth.
Speaker 1:But we, as women have to make sure to create that space that makes you feel comfortable with being vulnerable Exactly.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3:You know I We are listening, not talk, right.
Speaker 2:That's it. That's it. I love that. Y'all know me. I love to brag on my wife because that's my wife and she is who she is And she's just great. That's just it. That's awesome. God bless me.
Speaker 2:I prayed for her and God delivered. That's all I can say, you know. But one thing that I that I thank God for for Shamika is that discernment of listening and She, she knows when something ain't right, period. My And I can make this say the same thing about her.
Speaker 2:If she walks in the room, i can look in there as like what's wrong with you? We, we, we just have that chemistry and that bond together and everything. But she makes it comfortable for me to Open up and talk to her, you know. But at the same time I have to realize that the tone that I sit in my household, it's gonna also allow her to feel comfortable with coming to me and being in the corner, in the corner by me. If I'm a butthole type of husband, she not here by my feelings or nothing like that at all, you know, because she does not know exactly how I'm gonna come off because I'm just a butthole in everything. So when it comes to that that need as far as relationships and listening, and active listening and caring and concerning everything, this is a two-way street. The same way you give it, that's how you got to receive it, and everything like that, and that's the reason why you can never say a relationship is 50 50.
Speaker 3:No, it's a hundred a hundred.
Speaker 2:I gotta have all of you so you can have all of me, and that's but that's. That's about marriage Counseling. We get off on him another time.
Speaker 3:Anthony, how do we I feel like we Advocate for counseling a lot for children How do we advocate Counseling? because in my opinion, i feel everybody needs a counselor whether they're issues or not having issues, but how do we advocate more for me and To have to seek counseling and be open to seeking counseling?
Speaker 2:I think, just as overall, if it's a family member, a friend, your genuine concern for that person, you just have to let them know or just say to him Hey, you need to go talk to somebody.
Speaker 2:I Think in the situation that we're dealing with, with mental health, fear is not an option, and let me elaborate what I mean by that Being afraid to tell somebody they need to talk to somebody should be the last thing that you're worried and concerned about. If you, if you say you love that person, if you're concerned about that person and you, that person's best interest Is always the first thing on your mind, you have to be man enough and even woman enough to say, hey, you need to talk to somebody You know, look up some information for him, say, hey, you need to call this person right here. And even from a male perspective and I'm I try to be more vocal, even when I'm out and about and everything I just this very morning, i stopped at the car wash up to run my car through and this guy just pulled up and he was doing his car as well too, and We just hot started general conversation He said what do you do?
Speaker 2:Well, he told me you know he was, he was an attorney and everything. And he said what do you do? I said, well, on my own mental health practice. Boom, he said, man, i got somebody that need to see you, bro. I gave him a car he has, and that dude has called me already this morning. He's got an appointment schedule for next week.
Speaker 2:I mean, literally, we cannot be afraid to talk about mental health, especially within and within the black community. We have put it on the back burner for so long. It has caused so much damage. We can't afford not to talk. Talk about it, period. So I just, from my own personal opinion, how do we get the word out more? We got to open our mouths. A Close mouth, a closed mouth, can't get feed, doesn't? my mother father always taught me And God's word clearly states that you have not, because you asked me. So you have to open up your mouth and say man, i need help. And that level of vulnerability is actually a level of strength, because now we plan to seed and we're building a solid Foundation to correct whatever wrongs that you feel you have going on, that not only take care of that issue right there, but even the issues that are to come later on down the line as well too.
Speaker 1:Since I just came in at the last meeting. Mr Davis, this is cool.
Speaker 3:With the suicide race on the rise, what can we do? How do we go about trying to prevent those?
Speaker 2:I think when we talk about suicide prevention, it's hard to say that you're going to stop somebody from committing suicide, because if you can talk to your faces blue, if a person got it wrapped up in their head that they're going to end this thing, it's going to end this thing, and I think that, to me, that's the sad side is that I wish that we could have caught this earlier. That's going to be that person that we're not going to be able to reach, or that person that's not reachable. That's a big statement not reachable. That means that I've tried everything, it is and this person has it in their head and that's pretty much it. I think just continuing to take a proactive stance in this thing, the next three months is pretty much our time to shine. Lpcs this is you guys month. Lcsw. Social workers this month is you guys month. Next month is our much LPCs. And then maybe we have mental health awareness. This is a time when you are a mental health professional and I'm just being just telling you from my heart how I feel. If you are not out stomping the grounds, advocating for your profession at this time, right now, you need to get out of this field, and this is the reason why I say that We've been put on the back burner for so long. Now that we have this opportunity to shine, we cannot afford not to shine. I literally just made a post on the company's web page, a Facebook page, right before I logged in, making sure that I'm being visible, that people see me, people hear me, because, again, you never know what somebody is going through. It's just a friendly, you know, they say a nice, friendly hello will take you a long way. We don't know that that very person that's standing in line in front of us, that has had something on their mind all day long that is just really tormenting them and they just feel that nobody cares. Just that, hey, man, how you doing Could have just stopped that man or that woman right there from taking their life. So I think, to answer your question again, just being more proactive speaking, just knowing that we have a voice this is a platform that we got to make sure that we are literally stomping the pavement with and everything. That's pretty much all that we can do. We're advocates for something good And it's just like when we sit in our practices we don't go out and say, hey, you need some therapy, come on in and see me or whatever like that.
Speaker 2:You know I tell clients all the time. You know, when they come in, they's like, well, how are you going to make me? I use tobacco cessation, for example, when I was doing it, people would come in and say, well, how are you going to make me quit? I say I ain't, i'm not, i didn't actually come in here. You came in because you didn't want to sign for yourself And I can't want this for you more than you wanted for yourself. I am a valid resource here for you to utilize to help you get to where you got to go.
Speaker 2:Your treatment with me does not start when you're in here. This is your training ground. Your treatment starts when you walk outside my door. Can you take what we talked about and can you start applying it to your life. That's when it begins. Now I go out and I do talks all day long. I meet people telling what I do in the whole nine yards So that we're talking more and more about mental health, stomp in the ground, beating the pavement, talking about it, letting people know that, hey, it's a resource out there that's available for you, because a lot of times people don't know that resources out there We could cause all the time and people want to know do you guys have a black male therapist there?
Speaker 2:Shamika will tell them. Well, yeah, we got two of them here. I'm a rabri in this field, especially being an African American therapist, so we got to just be more vocal and verbal about what we have going on, what we have to offer. That's going to be the best thing that we can do, and when it pertains to suicide, I think that if everybody in general, regardless of your race or your gender, if we just thought being a More genuine concerned about people, we'll be able to let people know that, hey, it's okay to you know, let the gods down to be vulnerable and talk about what's going on. I think that's the key.
Speaker 1:Well, anthony, i want to thank you for being on our episode of men mental health. I think today was a very powerful conversation that we continue to need to have.
Speaker 1:Yes, and you're right, a lot of men therapists, especially African men, male clinicians are. We don't know a lot about them. Could you please make sure that you give the audience your, your practice again, your contact information So that they can reach out and I can vouch for Davis therapeutic services? They are excellent. I send them a lot of referrals and I always get a lot of positive feedback.
Speaker 2:All right, so I am Anthony Davis, me and my wife, shamika Davis. We own Davis therapeutic services LLC. We're located at 517 Keywood circles, sweet 2b over here in flow with Mississippi 39232. The phone number here is 601 559 1880 again 601 559 1880. You can reach us by email at Dts mine body, soul at gmailcom. Facebook you can find us at Davis therapeutic services LLC.
Speaker 2:The website is wwwdts Embracing change, calm. You go to the website. It lists everything that we're doing. We are as well gonna start a podcast, hopefully pretty soon as well, too. We've got a couple mentoring programs that we're trying to get underway. One of us for the summers called a jazzy Hey, jazzy Haven project we named after our girls, and it's gonna be a mentoring program for kids, kids, i think. It's ages starting at 11, going to 18 for the summer, and everything. A couple other things down the pipeline. I want to talk too much about those things, but all that stuff and everything we're doing is actually on the website from the interviews instead of we done. Hopefully you too channel be starting as well too. So we got a lot of things, but that's us.
Speaker 1:Okay, and one of the things I know that y'all focus on marriage counseling. I know individual and family therapy and I know Shamika does a lot of grief therapy. Yeah, certified in doing that. Any others that kind of you kind of point out that we can kind of let people know?
Speaker 2:um, i think that's it. We do individual, like you said, marriage and marriage and family therapy. I mainly do a lot of the marriage counseling sessions. I do majority of them, about 99.5% of those. I take care of all those. We've got Latoya here, we have Adriana here, we have Jarvis here, so you have two male males here. You have an older male, you have a younger male. Jarvis is very, very good with our, with our young kids, as well as older, older gentlemen everything as well too. So we cover a wide spectrum when it comes to dealing with clients. We started age 10 and we go all week up to 80, i guess. I think I always climb clean. It was like 84.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 84 years of it, Yeah so you know we're we're covering a lot of area. We're trying to, we're trying to do our part.
Speaker 3:Anthony, i know a lot of counseling services, Some doing, some don't accept insurance. Do you sell? do you accept the major commercial insurances?
Speaker 2:Yes, medicaid or Medicaid, and that's that's traditional Medicaid and Medicaid through Melina, magnolia and United Hill. We do tri care, east Blue Cross, blue Shield, pretty much. If we don't do Etna, we don't do signal, but pretty much everything else we take.
Speaker 3:We also want to thank you here.
Speaker 2:Do Medicare as well too, because we should make up. Toya and andrina are LCSW.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, we want to thank you for being on our platform today and sharing all of this wonderful information, and we hope that you have a great day and a great weekend. Stay blessed.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I appreciate you guys having me again. I want to thank you guys for being in this battle with me when it as pertains to dinner, with mental health and everything as well too. So kudos to you guys as well too.