How To Talk To Humans
How To Talk To Humans
Larry Wilson as Guest on this Q&A #66
On this Special episode, the Producer of this podcast. R. Scott Edwards, takes on the role of Host and ask Larry Wilson some basic questions about this podcast and "The Wilson Method". Entertaining and informational...Please Listen and Share!
Larry Wilson, an eminent figure in the entertainment industry with an impressive four-decade career, is the brain behind the lauded Wilson Method, which prioritizes forging authentic relationships via effective communication. He developed this method from his experience teaching advanced communication strategies to MIT graduate students, which was inspired by the Ford professor of engineering from MIT. Wilson views the Wilson Method as a tool for individuals open to change and learning to enhance their communication abilities. He doesn't direct his clients towards specific goals, but rather enables them to boost their communication skills through technique-based training. Drawing upon his experiences with successful communicators in the entertainment sector, Wilson asserts that effective communication is vital for success in all life aspects, from personal to professional. He emphasizes the role of leaders in ensuring clear, intentional communication in business settings and making employees feel valued and acknowledged. Wilson firmly believes that communication skills can be improved and refined with consistent practice, leading to better relationships, increased productivity, and overall success.(00:03:23) Showbiz Communication Techniques: The Wilson Method
(00:07:32) Enhancing Communication Through Wilson Method Techniques
(00:10:27) Clarity for Success: The Wilson Method Approach
(00:11:54) Mastering Effective Communication for Success
(00:13:11) Mastering Communication with the Three C's
(00:37:12) Communication Skills Enhancement Through Interactive Training
Hosted by Larry Wilson
Produced by: Verbal Ninja Productions
Producer: R. Scott Edwards
Sponsored by: The Wilson Method
**Check out NEW upgraded website with FREE offer!!
Visit https://theWilsonMethod.com
Hi, this is Larry Wilson, and this is how to talk to humans. This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills. Are you looking to get a better job? Are you looking to find a relationship? Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far? I can show you so easily how to change that now. I can only do it with humans. If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies, extraterrestrials, this is not the show for you. But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned from 40 years in show business, working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world, and their secrets are unbelievable. What I'm going to be teaching you during the course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success.
Larry Wilson:Hi, this is Larry Wilson. Welcome once again to another episode of how to talk to Humans. This is going to be a very unusual episode because my producer, Scott, had a crazy idea, and I think it really stems just from the fact that he's very sad about sitting quietly in the dark listening to me. But I thought, well, this will be great. He said, what if I were to interview you? He said, because there's all these questions I have about Wilson method that I keep wanting to find out about. And I thought, you know, whatever keeps him happy end. I think he might have a knife. So this is probably going to make everything much easier for him. So without further ado, I'm going to turn things over to your new interviewer for this episode. And stay calm. This is just a temporary one off. You don't have to worry about being subjected to this every week. Here is your host and emcee, Scott Edwards.
R. Scott Edwards:Hello and welcome to how to talk to Humans. We have a great guest with us today. It's the man, the mind behind the legendary Wilson method. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Larry Wilson. Larry. Larry, good to have you on the show. How to talk to humans. Hey, I just wanted to tell the audience a little bit more about the amazing Wilson method. It's been mentioned throughout. You know, I'm a proud listener of your podcast, and yes, and apparently breathing.
Larry Wilson:Pure nitrous oxide, I'm guessing, too.
R. Scott Edwards:And I just wanted to share this great connection between the podcast and the Wilson method. For example, you're a lifelong entertainer, comic, magician, extraordinaire, magician of the year, and a really good friend of mine. We've been through a lot of experiences. But why did you start the Wilson method?
Larry Wilson:That's a really interesting question. The answer is, I don't know why. I do.
R. Scott Edwards:Okay, let's go on to question two. No, I'm just kidding. No, there had to be some motivation.
Larry Wilson:Well, I've mentioned this other places I was performing, or. No, actually, I gave a lecture, and a man in the audience came up to me afterwards, introduced himself. He was a professor al Oppenheim, the Ford professor of engineering from MIT. And he said, I've never seen anyone with your communication skills before. I wonder, could I hire you to come to MIT and train our grad students in advanced communication techniques?
R. Scott Edwards:So it wasn't really your idea. Actually, somebody noticed your ability in, pointed out that you could share some expertise.
Larry Wilson:Yeah, before, it made me sound like I was really a genius. Now it sounds like I'm just sort of a dope who was wandering around. Yes. It was not my idea. Professor Oppenheim, this is his idea. So I came to MIT. I did a three day training thing there. And these people were incredible. And as Professor Oppenheim pointed out, he said, you know, I just want you to understand, all these people are geniuses. They're just bad communicators. And I thought, oh, well, this will be interesting. I said, okay. So when we did it, I was totally unprepared for their rabid enthusiasm for improving themselves. These are people who. It's not even a question. These are people who want to be the best of the best in everything.
R. Scott Edwards:It's like a mensa meeting.
Larry Wilson:Well, yeah, except for me. But they're sort of dragging the average down there.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, but they were anxious to learn something that to that would benefit them in communicating the knowledge they had in them. I don't mean to take away your answer, but there's a show that's out there, big bang theory. And now, young Sheldon, where you have this really smart, smart, over the top MIT professor. But his communication skills and his interaction with normal humans, how to talk to humans, would have been beneficial to him.
Larry Wilson:Well, actually, in the show, he's a Caltech professor. Oh, because he made fun of MIT.
R. Scott Edwards:That's right.
Larry Wilson:He frequently says to one of the engineers who has a degree from MIT, you should get your money back.
R. Scott Edwards:But someone's paying attention.
Larry Wilson:Well, yes, the comedy of that show, of course, is that they're bad communicators. That's part of what's funny about. And in real life, they weren't like that at all. In real life, it was astonishing how they instantly gravitated to the idea that it doesn't matter how smart you are, if you can't communicate those ideas, it's worthless. And so my experience was amazing with them. And the whole time I was there, at the end of this three days, Professor Oppenheim said to me, he said, you know, you're a great entertainer, but this is what you should really be doing with your life. And I was really surprised by that. And I said, seriously? He was like, oh, yeah, yeah. This is what I said, well, I don't know how to do this. And I thought he would tell me he would have instructions. He said, me either. Just get to work. Do it.
R. Scott Edwards:That sounds like all the professors I had.
Larry Wilson:Well, I was surprised to find out later on from many people who spoke so highly of him. This is kind of his style. People come to him. Grad students have an idea or some planner, they say, I've got this. He says, that sounds great. And they go, okay, well, how do I do it? And he says, I don't know. Just go do it. Get to work. And of course, they produce incredible results.
R. Scott Edwards:Yeah, that's sometimes the best way to learn. Now, I know you get groups of people, from your two day boot camp to your full training sessions when you have clients. These, these people in the Wilson method, are you setting their goals or do the clients set their goals?
Larry Wilson:Oh, no, I. I would never presume to tell them what they should want to get out of this. Part of what I like about Wilson Method and what it has become is it's a self selecting process. I don't get people who are resistant to change or resistant to new ideas or resistant to learning because they come to me. People either come to my website to find me, or they've seen me speaking someplace or someone else has told them. I did a training last year for a company in Indianapolis, and it was because one of the higher ups had trained in the two day boot camp with me. And he realized, oh, if I get everyone in this department on the same wavelength, we're going to be much more effective. And of course, he's right.
R. Scott Edwards:Yeah, mutual communication skills just increases sales and productivity.
Larry Wilson:Well, it seems so obvious, but it's funny how sometimes people want to cling to the idea. No, this is the way we've always done it. Okay, I understand. This may be the way you've always done it, and it's a bad way. Right. I get that the familiar is always more desirable, but it doesn't mean it's the best way, especially in business. Think about people who are resistant to online advertising or marketing whoa. No, I hate this. Well, yeah, you can hate it, but it's much more effective. So you might want to learn how to use it, you know?
R. Scott Edwards:Exactly. Well, I've listened to many, actually, comes to my mind, all of your shows on how to talk to humans. And you mentioned the three c's and the three ds. Now, these, I'm going to let you explain them, but they're methods. It's a methodology used in the Wilson method. That teaches people how to better communicate in your course. The Wilson method. How do you get people to utilize these? Or what examples would you recommend as the brilliance behind the Wilson method?
Larry Wilson:That's kind of a loaded question.
R. Scott Edwards:Yeah, I threw the Wilson method in there a few times.
Larry Wilson:I like. No, I just like the way through. Brilliant. So. I don't know. Brilliant. Not really so brilliant. It's just really effective. The real brilliance behind the Wilson method is when I began to understand where I'd learned all these techniques. They were from the best communicators in the world, in my opinion. These are superstars in entertainment who I'd worked with. I saw that all of them seemed to get everything they wanted out of life. And it wasn't because they were famous. It was how they were communicating, which.
R. Scott Edwards:In turn, helped make them famous.
Larry Wilson:Well, yes, that's a result. So one of the reasons why we say communicating towards success is that's what it's going to do. If you're struggling and stumbling and unclear and vague and unformed, well, of course you can have a hard time achieving success. But as I started to see that all the things I'd learned from these people were technique, this is a very foundational, a very important point. It means you don't have to have talent.
R. Scott Edwards:Right? In fact, in one of your episodes, you talk about a born communicator doesn't really exist. It is something that you have to work at and learn.
Larry Wilson:Well, I'm always willing to admit that might exist. I've just never seen it. But some people think, well, okay, so you weren't born, but you're very talented. Someone has a great talent, and that's how they. Maybe they do. I don't know. All I know is what I teach is all technique. And that's great news, because technique is duplicatable, duplicate. It's replicatable. Anyone can learn technique. It's like hitting a golf ball or changing the oil in a car or, you know, you just do it enough times and you start to feel comfortable with it. It starts to become part of your everyday behavior, you know, like cooking an omelet. You know, I can't imagine anyone the very first time they try to cook an omelet. I can't imagine anyone does a perfect omelet, but do it 50 or 100 times. You're going to be really good at this.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, and that's why it's so important to listen to how to talk to humans, so that you, the listener, the audience right now, be sure to check out the three c's, the three ds, and if you implement them, it's going to help you achieve the kind of communication skills that might benefit you. And let's talk about how, because in our conversations and on your podcast, you've talked about excellent communication skills can benefit somebody as a public speaker, maybe is a leader in a meeting, but even in relationships, can you kind of maybe encapsulate how good communication can benefit you in life?
Larry Wilson:Well, sure. It's as simple as the key, I think, to success in all these endeavors, whether it's in business, whether it's in personal relationships, is you want people to see you and hear you. That's what it really is. And again, this may seem so simple, you may think, well, gee, I think people see me. Well, I'm sure you've all had the experience of being in some situation where you felt invisible. You felt absolutely unheard. I think the highest goal in communication is clarity, and it's not difficult to achieve if you're using specific techniques to get there. But everything in life begins and ends with communication. And I know that everyone listening to this has had the experience of being in some situation, whether it's business, whether it's personal, where you felt invisible. And I cannot think of a worse feeling than that. I know that there are people in business, you have an idea for something, or you're trying to get people to listen to some new idea or whatever it may be, and they act like you aren't there. That's a terrible feeling. And of course, obviously, in personal relationships, it's equally as bad, if not worse, when you say something to someone and they completely disregard what you just said.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, I think that was kind of my point, is that obviously, if somebody wants to be a public speaker, you have to develop some communication skills. You will not succeed in a meeting. Obviously, having good communication skills allows you to engage with your staff or whatever the meeting is and get more productivity out of it. But in relationships, and there's so many marriages that fall apart because once they've been married for a while, they stop listening to each other, they stop communicating. And I really found it interesting. And when I help promote the Wilson method, it's something I try to stress a little bit, is that it can save a marriage, it could save a relationship if people would just take the time to communicate.
Larry Wilson:Well, yes, of course, although you make it sound so simple. It's more complicated than that. I, of course, am not a therapist or counselor, but I cannot more heartily agree with you, although I would beg to differ. I think a lot of people don't stop communicating when they get married. They've never been communicating.
R. Scott Edwards:Very possible.
Larry Wilson:I've met tons of, you know, you hear this where you hear men saying something like, oh, women, you know, you know how women are. And that's their way of writing off, paying no attention to what women say, or women saying the same thing about men. Oh, God, you know, my husband. You know how husbands are. Well, this should be a red flag. This is not a good sign. Women and men are human beings, and as such, they have all a wide panoply of needs and desires and fears and concerns. It doesn't mean you have to be a receptacle for everything everybody wants to dump on you, but it means if you have strong feelings of attachment to someone, there is no greater gift you can give them then to communicate with them at the highest possible level. And some of this may mean active listening, and there are specific exercises you can learn to become better at that. I've mentioned before, I know on this podcast, a student of mine who came from Germany to train with me. And about a month after he'd gone home, he sent me a video that I have on the website someplace. I know it pops up someplace where he said, you know, I wasn't sure at first, you know, if this would be worth the expense and the time and everything to come to the stage. But it was fantastic. And he really came because he had to deal with people in business. He had to interact with people he'd never met before. And so he had great success with that. But he said, after I was home about three weeks, I realized I was talking with my wife about things we never talked about in ten years of marriage. And he said, I didn't realize at first it's because I was using all this Wilson method techniques. Cause they're so natural. They just sort of become part of your everyday routine. And he said, it's unbelievable. It's incredible now, for me, and maybe this just is a reflection of my own personal focus. I consider that a much greater success than any business success.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, that's nice.
Larry Wilson:Well, it's just the way I feel. Obviously, people who have businesses, you know, you said before, improves productivity. Well, that's a little too glossy. I think that you're just sort of gliding over the fact.
R. Scott Edwards:I'm just the host, you're the guest, you're the expert.
Larry Wilson:Oh, I forgot. I forgot.
R. Scott Edwards:It's okay for me to gloss over.
Larry Wilson:Well, what you said is true, but it doesn't really address the real question. If you're in business and you have important protocol, for example, in your company, if all of your people don't understand that protocol, it's your fault. If it's your company and they don't understand, it's your fault, because it's up to you to communicate in a way that makes you impossible to misunderstand. That's your job, and it's not hard to do, but you can't do it just shooting from the hip. You can't do it without giving it any thought in advance, without any planning. And again, you know, all these little tiny things, they. Maybe 50 years ago, it was more commonplace for people to be familiar with these things. I don't know. But I can tell you nowadays, they're gone. People can't seem to make eye contact with other people in conversation. And of course, why would they be able to make eye contact if their entire experience is staring at their phone?
R. Scott Edwards:That is so true.
Larry Wilson:Right? They wouldn't. So all of these things, though, the specific things that I'm training people to be better at in Wilson method, will make your business enterprises, whether you work for someone or you have people work for you, or you're part of an executive team, I mean, it seems like it's so obvious. But when I see examples of people who I think, oh, this is a highly placed person in this business, and I see them yell at someone, I think, wow, that's such a bad sign. Do you think that yelling at someone is going to motivate them to work harder? Either they don't understand what it is you want, in which case that's your fault, or they're not the right employee for your company. We did an interview here with Bob Stobner where he talked about working for Raley supermarkets and how he was put in an awkward position where he had an employee who was just an irritation to everyone. And instead of yelling at that guy or whatever, Bob. Now, I hasten to point out, Bob has not trained with me. It's not like Bob is a graduate of Wilson method. But Bob made an effort to talk with this guy and find out what it was he really wanted. That is, he saw this person, heard this person. What he found out was this was exactly the wrong place for him in the company. Bob found another position for him in the company, where the guy flourished and suddenly was no longer an irritation. He was a leader and was a huge success in the company. But simultaneously, Bob got him out of the way of the people who he was irritating. That's a gigantic win. And Bob Stobner is a good communicator.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, and it worked out good for the company, it worked out good for Bob's team, and it worked out good for the individual because he was able to listen and communicate and get things done. Well, those are great examples. And I really like that when it comes to relationships that the Wilson method can teach, and even just listening to this podcast, how to talk to humans, you can learn techniques and learn. Learn ideas that will help you in all aspects of your life. Okay, my almost last question. Now, the reason I'm your producer, the reason we're sitting here is we're long, long time friends. Why? Because I'm a producer and you're a world class entertainer. You have been on television, you've been on radio, you've been on live stage thousands of times. And as a comic magician, bringing to the audience famous magician school, you were able to really connect, unlike, you know, I have to say, as a producer who's seen your show literally hundreds of times better than other magicians, I've produced shows with and other entertainers, not that they weren't talented, but your presence, your communication skills on stage, really engaged with the audience, forced the audience to buy into, you know, in your vehicle was famous magician school, but was all away in your pattern, your magical pattern and comedy to bring people along on this journey that you were, that you were doing your entertainment with. Anyway, I make going a little too long. The point I wanted to share with your listening audience is you naturally developed by learning, listening to others these skills and put it together into a really amazing stage act. How did that kind of come about? And could you pinpoint a few things that in your act, famous magician school, how it connects with the audience and why.
Larry Wilson:I can sort of do that?
R. Scott Edwards:Sorry for the long question. This is on the fly here.
Larry Wilson:It's a good question. Unfortunately, it would take up several hours.
R. Scott Edwards:Okay, let's do the elevator version.
Larry Wilson:Well, you know, I hate that elevator version because. Because it always seems facile to me, but.
R. Scott Edwards:Okay. Okay. Sorry.
Larry Wilson:It's all right. I mean, it's not. There's nothing wrong with asking it, but let me say this, because you referenced before, you're asking me about the three c's. The three c's that you referenced are connect, convey, and create. Now, the reason I have things like three c's or three ds, they're really just touchstones. So that when you've learned some of this stuff, if you forget for a moment or you get lost, you can use them to put you back on track. Oh, that's right. Now, three D, of course, is a mnemonic device because we think of, you know, three dimensional 3d. So it's easy. Three C's is not a mnemonic device. But hopefully, when you think of three C's, that it makes it easier to remember. Oh, yeah. Connect, convey, create. I want you to be able to connect with people before you've even spoken a word so that you can convey your message and create authentic bonds, because those authentic bonds that you create last a lifetime. So really, what the three C's are talking about is what you just referenced. What I'm doing as an entertainer on stage is I'm using a number of different techniques that I teach in Wilson method, so that you can connect with the audience this way. If I'm doing a comedy magic act, and that's what I'm conveying, but the result is the same. I'm creating an authentic bond. I'm sure you must have seen entertainers one time or another who may have been very glib, may have been very talented, may have been very charming, and may have been very successful, like the audience loved them. But you had a funny feeling deep down that it was all artificial.
R. Scott Edwards:Oh, yeah, there's plenty of examples. But I think that's one of the things that made me ask this question, was that I saw lots of very talented entertainers, but it was for the audience. It was almost like just watching tv. There wasn't an engagement in famous magician school. In your act, you use high energy verbiage and the magic, and you come out in a white tux and you've got the look and you've got all this stuff going on, but all of it engages with the audience.
Larry Wilson:Well, none of it was by accident. Most of it was by trial and error. But I was always oriented towards connection. So where somebody else might be thinking, is this a good magic trick or not? That wasn't as important to me. I wanted to see from the very beginning, almost from the very beginning, I was listening to the audience very closely I didn't realize how important that was or how valuable it was until I became more successful and then started interacting with huge stars of entertainment and saw that they did this even more than I did. But that process allowed me, I wasn't thinking about, oh, is this going to make me famous, or is this going to get me a job? I was really much more interested in that feeling of connecting with them, because when you did that, I can tell you this, I am astonished. To this day, Scott, I encounter people all the time who have seen me performing ten years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago.
R. Scott Edwards:Let's not age you too much.
Larry Wilson:All right, well, we'll stop there. But it goes beyond that. The truth matters. And they don't always understand what it is they're experiencing. All they know is they have a feeling about me. Well, that feeling that they're talking about, that's an authentic bond. That's what that is. Because they felt a genuine connection with me. That's what we're trying to achieve in all. Now, I always say this. When I say in all our communications, obviously, I don't mean if someone says, do you want cheese on that? Or not? Doesn't mean you have to be utilizing Wilson method. Technique. But I will say that if you want your order placed perfectly in a restaurant, Wilson method will come in very handy, and you'll be surprised at how effective it is. You'll be surprised at all these little places, I think. Now, I can't remember if I've told you this or not on the air. Did I tell you about being pulled over by the police?
R. Scott Edwards:No. Well, wait a minute. Stop the presses. Larry Wilson was almost arrested.
Larry Wilson:No, no, I don't think I was. I almost got a ticket, but I was driving someplace, long distance drive, and I was not paying attention, driving faster than the posted speed limit. And suddenly I saw the lights flip on in my rearview mirror. And I thought, uh oh. And I immediately pulled over. And I thought to myself, I thought, what can I do to make this have the best possible outcome? I thought, well, one of the things I'm emphasizing always in Wilson method is employing empathy, and that means trying to imagine what the other person is experiencing. It doesn't mean you're really reading their mind, although sometimes it can appear that way. It means really thinking. And I thought, this guy, now, this is in broad daylight. I should explain. It's not at night. It's not in a dangerous situation. But I thought, this police officer must, every day, it must flit through his mind somewhere. Am I going to come home tonight? Am I going to make it through this shift alive? Now, maybe they don't think that. Maybe that's too stressful for them to think. I don't know. But that's what I imagined. And so I thought, what can I do then to make it easier? I thought, oh, I know. I'll put my hands up on the steering wheel with my fingers spread so that he can see from 15ft away where my hands are and that there's nothing in them. And he walked up to the window and he asked me to roll the window down, and I didn't put my. And he said, why do you have your hands like that? I said, oh, I have friends who are police officers. And they said that if you do this, it just makes it easier for people. And he said, thanks. Thanks. He said, you can put your hands down. But I could visibly see the guy relax. And he said, do you know how fast you're going? I said, to be perfectly honest, no, I'm sorry, I don't. And he said, whatever it was, 40 or 50 in a 40 miles an hour or whatever it was, I was over the speed limit. And I said, I'm really sorry about that. And he said, well, you know, he said, we want you to be safe out here. I said, I understand. I appreciate that. We talked a few minutes and he said, please try to keep it under whatever it was. And then let me go without a ticket. Now, why did he let me go without a ticket? I don't know.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, you were being again. You visually communicated a safe zone for him, which allowed him to relax. My bride is in law enforcement, and we often haven't been pulled over in decades. But when I had been pulled over in the past, I would put my hands out the window.
Larry Wilson:Oh, even better.
R. Scott Edwards:Open.
Larry Wilson:Even better.
R. Scott Edwards:And that during their walk to the vehicle, it shows them that there's no risk. And it is being empathetic to their situation. Because one of the scariest things, and I've talked to many police officers, and there it's the not knowing, of course, that puts the edge on everybody, of course, you know. And so, anyway, so we've shared something good with the audience. But I think that all these things from relationships and business and show business, the Wilson method definitely is something that people that are interested in improving their life in so many ways can be valuable to them. Uh, Larry, how can people learn more about the Wilson method?
Larry Wilson:Oh, I'm afraid they can't. That's classified information.
R. Scott Edwards:Besides listening to how to talk to humans and going to the website, thewilsonmethod.com or wilsonmethod.com. What do you recommend?
Larry Wilson:I think you've pretty much rounded the bases. I think one of those will do the job well.
R. Scott Edwards:It is a very interactive site. There's videos, there's testimonials. There's some great information. You have the two day bootcamp. You have private training. You do group training. And ladies and gentlemen, besides the how to talk to Humans podcast, which is a free expression of your lessons to anyone that wants to listen, the Wilson method can definitely impact your life, and I highly recommend it. Larry, any final words on your podcast?
Larry Wilson:No, it's been very enjoyable to be a guest here.
R. Scott Edwards:Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been larry Wilson and sharing about the Wilson method and the value of quality communication. We're all so excited. Thanks for being on the show, Larry. Stay tuned. Next week, Larry will be back as the host. How to talk to humans. Bye.
Announcer:This has been larry Wilson. I want to thank you for spending this time with me, and I hope.
Larry Wilson:You found this information useful.
Announcer:If you're looking for more, you can find it@thewilsonmethod.com. There's a ton of stuff there. In fact, if you want, you can even speak to me because I'm human. Send me an email@infoilsonmethod.com. Because I read every single one. I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey, and you'll be with me for the next episode of how to talk to Humans.
