EnneagramU
Relationships with Enneagram Type Two
Have you ever wondered how stepping away from the constant pings of your phone could change your life? Kelly's back from her transformative mission trip to Jamaica.
This episode takes a journey through the emotional landscape of the Enneagram Type Two personality. And for those of us who love a Two, we offer valuable advice on supporting and appreciating these big-hearted individuals in ways that empower rather than enable.
If you're a Two, know a Two, or just love a good story of human connection and personal growth, this episode has something special for you.
#typetwo
www.vufaith.com
https://www.instagram.com/faithandcommunity/
Have you ever wondered how stepping away from the constant pings of your phone could change your life? Kelly's back from her transformative mission trip to Jamaica.
This episode takes a journey through the emotional landscape of the Enneagram Type Two personality. And for those of us who love a Two, we offer valuable advice on supporting and appreciating these big-hearted individuals in ways that empower rather than enable.
If you're a Two, know a Two, or just love a good story of human connection and personal growth, this episode has something special for you.
#typetwo
www.vufaith.com
https://www.instagram.com/faithandcommunity/
You couldn't down there. They took your phones away, so you don't know about the podcast I did without you, right?
Speaker 2:but I have to listen. How is that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh man, there was a. There was an idea that came up was it last week? That our spouses should take over our podcast?
Speaker 2:for us this some week and just come in and take it over. Oh no, does Paula listen?
Speaker 1:No, welcome to Enneagram U with Damon and Kelly, where we explore the mysteries of human personality and help you learn more about you. Whether you're a skeptic or an enthusiast, together we'll take you on a journey of self-discovery using the ancient wisdom of Enneagram. This is Enneagram U. Hey, everyone, welcome to Enneagram U. My name is Damon and I'm here with my friend Kelly. Hi Kelly, hey Damon. Kelly, you've been out for a bit, yes, and you're back.
Speaker 2:I am back All right and I feel relieved.
Speaker 1:Really, yes, you were on, not really a vacation.
Speaker 2:No, I was leading our company's mission trip to Jamaica.
Speaker 1:And people might think that that was a vacation, but it's not exactly the same. No, it's not.
Speaker 2:It's not the beach at Jamaica, it's three hours inland, but we had a great, great team. Everything worked out. I know the last podcast we were talking about the issues with the flight check-in, but it just went just amazing. That's great, amazing.
Speaker 1:That's great to hear, and you had issues with the flight coming back too, didn't you?
Speaker 2:We did. Yes, Sorry, Not our particular group but another team because we had people from different offices around the country. So our friends that flew into Dallas and then had connecting flights to Tennessee and Springfield. The flight left about an hour late, which meant that one of our Tennessee friends got left behind and had to take a later flight, and then our three Springfield friends had to stay the night in Texas.
Speaker 1:Really, yes, yes, shoot, yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's when they're tired, they're ready to go home and shoot at yes, because all you can think of like you know, on a mission trip like that, like you're in a bunk room with a bunk bed, which means the mattress is about four inches.
Speaker 1:So sleeping is, you know, not that great.
Speaker 2:No, I mean you sleep because you're exhausted. But someone said it's more like a series of naps and not like a good night's sleep, and I'm like that is exactly how I would describe it.
Speaker 1:Did you physically feel it Like I?
Speaker 2:am tired or just so?
Speaker 1:so energized by what you're doing all day yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you just pick up the energy from other people in the room. You know, yeah, and they just take good care of us down there.
Speaker 1:But there's probably a reason it's limited to a week. Yes, Because after a while you would feel that For sure.
Speaker 2:I mean you're taking cold showers every day because they don't have hot water, and I mean just the physical exhaustion of being out, like in the heat, building houses or doing foundation work. I mean it's very taxing.
Speaker 1:Physically being an expert on emotional health, as you are with large groups like this. You kind of look around and kind of analyze everybody as they're.
Speaker 2:I try not to analyze.
Speaker 1:See, she's such a good person because you know that's your wheelhouse. So you would be like, oh, this is like a big lab experiment.
Speaker 2:But put these people out of their comfort zone to the test. Well, you would be happy to know, like on the very first day, so on Monday, we do these morning devotions and basically it's just a conversation about things like getting out of your comfort zones or different things like that. Well, monday I just did a talk with the whole team about processing emotions and gave them the tool. So you did, yes, that we've talked about together here, and I heard from so many people that they journaled more last week than they have ever journaled.
Speaker 2:That's great, and for some people that were like I've never journaled before, but I just set it up with the idea. Like you're going to experience a lot of emotions on this trip and your future self is going to be grateful that you jot these things down like the highs of the trip, like, oh my gosh, I felt so excited when I did this or that, but then also like it's really heartbreaking to see the conditions people live in. I mean I can't believe in the 21st century. In Jamaica there's communities that don't have running water, wow, and then people live just in such horrible conditions.
Speaker 1:And for people who go the first time on the strip, it's probably a bit shocking, so shocking. And so what's cool about what you did is you brought emotional health to the top of the conversation right away. Yes, and what that would do to me is say, oh, pay attention to this, don't just let your emotions run wild and go off the rails a little bit on this trip. Yes, and everybody probably was thinking through that, and if they're journaling, they're definitely thinking about that.
Speaker 2:Well, they've got lots of time because our phones are taken away when we're down there. So we are limited with the distractions, which is a really good thing too, because that way, people are able to have conversation with one another, but also to be able to process, because I would guarantee that most of us go down there and our cups are full of emotion.
Speaker 1:And so then you splash in all that we do and see and did you feel like you were missing out when you didn't have your phone?
Speaker 2:Not at all. Ok, not at all. And that was one thing people said, like that was eye-opening to them just how much they didn't miss.
Speaker 1:Some of those folks are probably young enough that they've always had a phone.
Speaker 2:Always had a phone, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So the days of driving somewhere without a phone and your car breaking down and having to knock on someone's door, right, they've never had that type of experience where you're just out in the elements without a phone, right or be on a road trip and like looking at the sky you know, which way is West right?
Speaker 2:Other stars up there? Exactly, yes, but I am relieved. We had the greatest trip. Um, just, I cannot tell you how much I loved being with the people on the team there and just getting to do what we got to do, and everybody made it back safe and sound. That's great. That's great. Yeah, yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So how are you feeling? I feel pretty good. Okay, I don't have any reasons to feel pretty good. I'm a little jealous cause it sounds like the trip was nice. But, um, I hate to say this, but when the sun is shining, and it happens to be on this day doing that, my emotion goes up no matter what is going on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so true. There's a couple of things that I've noticed about my emotions. One evening is worse than morning, for me for sure, and at the end of the day I can be feeling a certain way about certain things that I know real obvious there and very vague. But in the morning, with a good night's sleep, I can wake up and feel differently about the exact same thing, and if the weather is good, I can feel even better about it. And I know that was very generalized, but that's kind of what happens with me.
Speaker 2:I've just noticed these patterns. Yes, it's a great awareness. And you know, even there is a Psalm that says weeping comes at night, but joy comes in the morning.
Speaker 1:There you go.
Speaker 2:And I think like, even if you think of like when we're sick, like fevers tend to come back up in the afternoon or evening for people. Our emotions tend to feel more down you know, and especially if it's just blah outside, it's not sunny.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Our emotions can match.
Speaker 1:I wonder, if you journal in the evening, if your journal is darker than if you journal in the morning and there's a little more positivity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, could be. But we need that truth step. You know that may help us at night to go okay but the truth about this is, tomorrow things will look better, or um?
Speaker 1:well, I really can't share my true emotion, because my performance review was today. Oh no, everything is okay.
Speaker 2:Well, this will be your last podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm still well, at least I'm still here today. I didn't. Yeah, exactly, my boss is awful. Yeah, oh, I won't. We won't go there, just teasing boss out there who listens to every and never has listened to one episode.
Speaker 2:This is the trust he has. That's right.
Speaker 1:Well, we are talking about a certain number today, and relationships with that number Lay it on me. What's the number?
Speaker 2:So we are moving to the two. Okay, so, talking just about today the twos and how they relate in relationships, um, things that they need to be aware of as they relate to other numbers for us relating to the two, how best to do that? So, yeah, we're moving, moving the train down to station number two. All right, yeah so as we talked about.
Speaker 2:Uh, you know, when we looked at twos last year, if we think about twos in relationship, for them relationship is absolutely everything Like they love to connect. Their world is just connecting with pretty much anybody they encounter, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they make friends very quickly, um, you know, and if they're around people pretty consistently, those people are going to be their people, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2:And and so for them. Uh, they have to watch because a lot of times, uh, that dependency in relationships um can occur, because, I mean honestly, they just want us to want them. Okay, so from 1977,.
Speaker 1:Yes, cheap trick, I had to pull that out, that's right.
Speaker 2:It's the perfect two song.
Speaker 1:It is, yeah, it is the number two song.
Speaker 2:Two song because they really do want people to want them. They need to be needed or want to be needed, especially if they're more in that average or unhealthy side. Um, they want to be connected, they want to provide what you need, they want to be the helpers. Um, on the trip uh to Jamaica at night, they would ask for four volunteers to help wash dishes. And I wondered, because I don't know everybody's numbers uh there. But uh, I'm like oh, you have to have some connection to the two, cause here you've like worked all day.
Speaker 2:But then it's like who wants to help wash dishes? And those hands go up and I'm like, oh, I love the twos, cause my hand was not up, yeah.
Speaker 1:You're like I'm out.
Speaker 2:Disguising no way Well that's I wish you.
Speaker 1:Could I wish people when you're on the trip could take it, take a test, or something just a brief one, so you could kind of pinpoint just for fun.
Speaker 2:But I know you.
Speaker 1:That's not the purpose. I know that would be fun.
Speaker 2:Although I did just a total side note. Uh, someone came in. I was inside doing something and she came in and she said you need to get out there. They're having a conversation about the Enneagram around the picnic table and I was like you know, actually I kind of love that people are having the conversation without me.
Speaker 1:You know, so they can just do it versus like oh, let me come and present everything Right? Yeah, let's not do that. Yeah, come on, they can listen to the podcast. Yes, you couldn't down there. They took your phones away, they did. So you don't know about the podcast. I did without you, right, but I have to listen.
Speaker 2:How is that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh man, there was a. Uh, there was an idea that came up. Was it last week that our spouses should take over our podcast?
Speaker 2:for us some week and then just come in and they should, oh no. Does Paula listen?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Hartley listens. He does yes, because he references things.
Speaker 1:He oh I love you, sweetie.
Speaker 2:I know you're listening to this. But, he'll say, oh yeah, like to the day when you were talking on the podcast and I'm like wow. All right, we have a fan.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, everyone knows, my wife is a three, so she's much too busy to be listening to this podcast.
Speaker 2:Well, she can multitask though. Yeah, she can do all of that. Yeah, we'll have to put Easter eggs in the in the podcast, so they have to listen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, well, hartley. Hartley is an entertainer himself, and so I can see how he would just like click right with this, and he has his own podcast. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:So we'll promote it sometime we will. He's promoted ours. He has he has.
Speaker 1:We have to do that, but we want to plan it. We don't want to just like you know, I don't know what I would say right now, but I would plan it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just put it out there.
Speaker 1:We'll do something, but we better get back to the two. Yeah, back to the twos, so we digress.
Speaker 2:He were away a week and we can go easily off the off the rail.
Speaker 2:So so, but the two for a two. So if you are a two and just want to be the healthiest two that you can be in relationships which I would say all twos want to, that idea of the need to be needed is what you really have to watch, because when there is a codependency there, twos can then try to really control people that they're in relationships with. They'll try to make decisions for people. They'll be very probably assertive in what they feel like you need to do and so with that, just recognize like, ok, if I'm trying to get my needs met from the outside in that's where I need to watch.
Speaker 2:That needs to be like a red flag for twos, so for twos to be healthy, like let the people you're in relationship with make their own choices Now. Some of that will then create consequences for people, or other times it creates places of celebration, but letting people be their own voice.
Speaker 1:So a two. A two just doesn't feel like they're in a good relationship if they're not needed, If someone is not coming to them and saying, can you help me? Right. That to them feels like, oh, I'm not doing something right If I'm not getting asked in. Yes, I need to be helping people, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so you know it's that idea and it can be like. It can be like really extreme or not so extreme, but it's kind of like if you imagine relationships as a swing pool twos are just waiting to jump in and help. But what happens if it's the deep end of the pool and you jump in to help like even realistically if someone's drowning, if you jump in to help, you're both going to go under.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's just the truth, I know, but that's so good, it's brutal. Good illustration.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you'll want to jump in because you think the person needs saving and they don't.
Speaker 1:Ah, yeah, yeah, but jumping in you made it worse yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So let people you know, and again we use this illustration of boundaries. Boundaries are huge for all of us, but especially for the two, and so recognizing okay, if it's not in your yard, don't jump in the other person's yard.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Like everybody's responsible for their own thoughts and feelings and what they do, and so that just makes your relationship so much healthier.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm Twos, do not jump in someone else's swimming pool. No.
Speaker 2:Stay on the side.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Then, another thing that keeps you healthy in relationships is this idea of allowing others to give to you. And then, as you give to others, twos are very uncomfortable with that. So it really again and I know we, I think, said this when we talked about the two but it is a blessing You're actually giving something to the other person by letting them help you.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, and that's it. Yeah, I think we have said that before, but that's a really great way to say it and think about it, yeah. By you receiving help, you're actually helping.
Speaker 2:Yes, and so what that's going to take for twos is to recognize what they need help with Mm-hmm. It could be asking a coworker hey, could you do this for me? Or reaching out to your family or a partner or friend and just not carrying all the load that you may be carrying Mm-hmm. And for a two, sometimes that tends to come to the surface when you are in kind of those average or unhealthy states of just being really frustrated that everything's on your shoulder Mm-hmm and so being able in those states to go okay, what is it that I could ask someone else to help me with?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so for let me just say this back in so for two. They're just super uncomfortable with saying hey, kelly, if I'm a two, I say Kelly, could you help me with this podcast today? Yes, that would be hard for me. Right, I mean I have a little bit of that.
Speaker 2:I have a hard time asking for help. Yeah, I think I'm a two. Well, it's the nine. Again, you're a little bit of everything.
Speaker 1:It's so confusing my world. Never mind, never mind. Yes, my public counseling doesn't need to be public all the time.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, well, and because they're so comfortable in that role of being the helper, like they love it when we come to them and ask them to help.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:But for them to do the same. But that makes a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Another thing I want to encourage to is to have fewer, deeper relationships. So again, they will connect with so many people, but then you know, like with anything, too much of anything is too much.
Speaker 2:And so they will exhaust themselves. Trying to pour into all the cups, like if you imagine all their relationships, as, like you know, just a table full of cups and that you know the cups are being drained, like the two is just like, okay, I'm trying to pour into this and this and this and this, and so for the two, really looking at like what would be a healthy boundary of friendships for you, you know, and they say, really anywhere from two to five is about all that we can manage.
Speaker 1:That would feel like a low number to a two.
Speaker 2:That would definitely feel like a low number to a two. But the other reason that that's important is a lot of times for twos they may be pouring into all these other cups, but the most important cups like family like spouse children. A lot of times, they are the ones that are neglected.
Speaker 1:That's interesting yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Well, that's something to watch, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just so to have fewer, deeper relationships, and then for those of us that are relating to a two, so all of us have friends that are twos, and so all the other numbers need to be aware of some of these things that twos are going to say yes when they really need to say no, and so if we could help them by being able to say, hey, I love if you might be able to help me on this, but also I want to just give permission for you to be able to say no to this Because, you know, we tend, whether we know it or not, we go to yes people.
Speaker 1:If.
Speaker 2:I know someone's going to say yes, and I need help with something. I'm going to go to that person versus going, maybe, to someone who may have better boundaries, and so we want to help them by just giving space they they aren't going to say no, though I mean we can say, you can say no to this, yeah, but they're going.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'll help yeah.
Speaker 2:Or maybe that conversation where it doesn't have to be an all or none yes or no but, like okay, what could you help me with?
Speaker 1:Oh, maybe that's. Maybe that's better. Like, help me with. And then here's draw the boundaries around. Yes, here's the big picture.
Speaker 2:What section might you help me with?
Speaker 1:Right yeah.
Speaker 2:Also, like I said, encourage boundaries and so, especially if you're a close friend with a two and the twos are in that exhaustive place of like, ah, you know everybody's depending on me, or like I find myself coming and going, I'm just really helping them be that outside perspective to say, okay, what do you need to say yes to and what do you need to say no to? Because, really honestly, the more yeses you say, the more knows that you also have to say because we're human. But what twos don't often recognize is what they're actually saying no to, and that's where even saying yes to even opportunities, but then are you having to then to say no to your most important people?
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Or say no to your own self care.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And so we want to be encouraging boundaries Right and also oh, go ahead.
Speaker 1:I was just thinking like a two. A two is helping, like you said, all these cups they're trying to fill and they're, they're. I'm gonna help this person. This person I'm so overwhelmed says the two. I'm so overwhelmed. Excuse me, I have to go help someone.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly, yeah, exactly, because, again, if they're in that average or unhealthy state and this is true for all of us, like you know, whatever we tend to not need, that's not going to help the situation we go to.
Speaker 1:No, that's me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, yeah, so you know. Another thing that we can do for our friends that are twos is to really ask them like to name what they're feeling. Now, what happens for a two is they get anxious, and so a lot of times their emotional cup is full and they're just anxious about things. They're trying to reduce their anxiety by helping, but again, that's only creating more anxiety. So if we can be a sounding board for them or encourage them to share their feelings with us, that can be really helpful as well.
Speaker 1:It sounds like I know we'll move to this, but it sounds like, though, if you have a two as a friend and you have a friend, oh, exactly, I mean, you will be so loved.
Speaker 2:That person will be helping you or bringing things to you or coming alongside you better than any of the other numbers.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And that's another thing for us that we can give to twos is this idea of reciprocating you know, imagining and putting on the two hat for a moment, saying, okay, the two has given to me, like what are some ways that I can give back to the two? Or if I was a two you know, I know we talked about before like our good friend Katie that used to be on our team, there are many times that I still think, okay, I've got to channel my inner Katie Troy. What would she do in this situation?
Speaker 1:Right yeah.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, just because it doesn't come just naturally to us, but we can get there. We can you know, go okay, what would be something that would be thoughtful or helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they do that so well.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I am just so selfish that I never think that way. That's how it feels, I know sure, Well, because they go to the extreme yeah a two is bringing food or sending a card, or, and I'm like, you sent a card for what and they sent one you know I'm like. Or if I receive one, I'm like, I what? Yeah, I mean, I would never have done this for myself.
Speaker 2:Right, yes, so we need to also give to twos. You know, to make sure those twos in our life that we're saying those words of appreciation. They love that to be able to send them a card, to be able maybe to take them to lunch or get them a gift card or whatever. It is just to brighten their day If they send me a card can.
Speaker 1:I just send it back to them and say, ditto, that's so terrible.
Speaker 2:Or just take a picture of it and just text Like I was thinking these very same things you want up me there.
Speaker 1:That was good.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, but yes to try to again just figure out like what would be ways I could give back, intentionally, because every two needs a friend that's willing to pour into them as well. Also, we need to recognize, for all of us that have friends that are twos, that they can be verbal processors, and so we want to create space for them to talk things through. Now they're probably going to be more interested in what's going on with you.
Speaker 2:So, twos are really good at keeping the focus on everybody else, but you know if you're having lunch with a friend that's a two, let's say they're going to want probably the majority of the conversation to be about how you're doing, but making sure, okay, even before you jump in with how you're doing, hey, before let me hear how you're doing or ask specific questions, you know, Because they're going to feel like I don't want to be selfish if. I focus on me, but it's like no again. It's about that balance of give and take.
Speaker 1:Because it's going to come back to you because of who they are anyway, so just be intentional with starting with them. That'll go a long ways.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, another thing we can do as friends of twos is to give honest feedback. Now, what we have to be aware of, though, is that twos could take our honest feedback personally, and so being able to say to them you know, this is not anything personal, you know, this is not about who you are, I love you, but I just need to share with you this.
Speaker 1:Right quit sending me cards. It's just we need to save on the postage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and you know, you know honestly in relationships with twos that I've had those honest conversations a lot of times they feel like they're helping, but then it's overstepping and that can create some resentment. So a friend of mine that's a two, I was able just to say to her like I need to give some feedback, like when you say this, you know, because that would be like how I was perceiving the conversation, was like judgment of I was doing too much, and so just being able to say like I appreciate your concern for me, but also like I am an eight and here are my boundaries. And so when you say, of course you are, you know, doing something else, that that just feels like it's a relationship injury.
Speaker 2:And so just trust that I know the boundaries I need to set, but also, like I do, appreciate your willingness to you know give your perspective, yeah, and give you feedback, and that's coming from a place of care. Yes.
Speaker 1:But if you give that feedback to it too, you're saying they can. Then like if you said I guess I'm trying to finish that, so they were giving you some feedback and you're receiving that. And then you're saying but yet here's some feedback about your feedback. And then that felt that might feel a bit wounding to them, Right?
Speaker 2:Well, and it. You know, it was one of those things that I didn't have the conversation. Right on the heels of them giving me that feedback, I really thought it through like, okay, am I doing too much or what am I noticing here? And so then I was able just to say, hey, can I, you know, revisit that conversation that we had? And what I'm noticing is like almost a judgment of I'm doing something wrong by, you know, having many things on my plate.
Speaker 1:But what I want to say to you is that you can trust that I've really thought that through and I appreciate the feedback, but also so you were really careful with your words when you were giving the two feedback, because it can be taken personally and I can see how, if I were a two and my intentions are so good with helping someone that it might come as a shock to find out that I'm actually not helping being as helpful as I thought.
Speaker 2:Like, wait, you know.
Speaker 1:I'm because you know, being a nine and not knowing anything, or knowing everything, I'm not sure which one.
Speaker 2:it is Somewhere in the middle.
Speaker 1:I can't relate completely to that.
Speaker 2:Well, because if we don't give that honest feedback, then typically what happens is resentment builds and then we abandon the two, so then we're just maybe not friends with them anymore or we distance ourselves with it, which they pick up on that very, very quickly. That there's, you know distance or we're disconnected.
Speaker 1:Another little cups moved away. The little cups is no longer there for them to fill.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so that can be a gift to them. And then also, one thing you know you and I have talked about too, is being able to share our own boundaries. You know, the example we give is a two that brings cake and we're like, oh no, I'm good, and then like shoving it in our mouth, you know to be able to really, I think for many of us we're like oh, I don't want to hurt their feelings.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 2:But we also need to say like I so appreciate, you know, your love for baking but like really I need to say no.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, thank you again. No, and I remember that and that's, and I love cake, that's the other problem. Yes, I love it so much, I know. Not really cake as much though, but I'm maybe more a brownie person in chocolate chip cookie, but I get it, but whatever it might be. But, if it's sugar, and as sugar is involved, I'm all for it.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, for sure.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm drinking this water. It's that sort of An eagram sponsor. Yeah, bubbly, bubbly, it's one of the greatest sparkling waters.
Speaker 2:So, just in wrapping up though, too, when we think about what twos really would want us to know about them, is that they really need to know that we're here for them and we're not going anywhere, because I imagine for twos, as they've grown up, they've been the helper, they really have sacrificed themselves, just because they want to connect and relate, and maybe for some friends have stuck around, but maybe many others haven't, and so just for them to know, hey, I'm in your group, like I'm for you and not going anywhere.
Speaker 2:Because I think a lot of times part of that desperation of like filling all the cups is like I've got to keep you in my life and so if we could just say to them there's nothing you have to do, like you don't have to be my helper or help me all the time. For you to be my friend, that's good, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's really good.
Speaker 2:Another thing too for the twos that they would want us to know is that they love affection. Now, not that you have to be affectionate if you're not an affectionate kind of person, but like again another friend of mine who is a two. She has said like I sense that there's like a disconnect if we come together and I don't get a hug. So I try to make that intentional moment of like giving the hug.
Speaker 1:So COVID was hard on us yes, so hard. There were whole friend groups where that all the hugging stopped.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know, yeah, it's like hi.
Speaker 1:hug, hug, hug hi, or good job, hug, hug, hug. Now it's hi fist bump. If that Hi six feet over there.
Speaker 2:That would be tough for a two. Yeah, yeah, wow, well, and then, last but not least, acknowledge and appreciate their contribution. So they do so much. So if we could just have that ability just to say thank you.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, I'm sending their card back to them. You're taking a picture of it.
Speaker 2:That's right and turning it back.
Speaker 1:That's the way of saying thank you Boom.
Speaker 2:This is how an eight does it.
Speaker 1:Done Moving on.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking of you, but I'm driving down the road pretty fast yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, that is so true. Yeah, just to tell them thank you, and they do such good work and help and they're so helpful. And just again, I'm blown away by the way they think. Than that selflessness.
Speaker 2:Yes, and.
Speaker 1:I know some of that is because it helps them feel loved, right To love others.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's right.
Speaker 1:But at the same time, some of us don't have any of that.
Speaker 2:I know this is where we can learn from them for sure.
Speaker 1:Wow, all right, kelly. This has been incredibly informative. I'm going to be thinking about it. Yes, two's, thank you. We think you're awesome, so keep being a two, that's right. All right, we'll see you next week on Enneagram. You Bye, kelly, bye Damon, I want to go.