Enneagram Compatibility: Exploring Types 1, 2, and 3 | PART 1

This podcast episode discusses Enneagram relationship compatibility.  Damon and Kelly, introduce the topic and explain their approach to categorizing compatibility between different Enneagram types. They cover compatibility for Enneagram types One, Two, and Three, noting which types are very compatible, which can be compatible with work, and which should be avoided unless both individuals are healthy. The hosts emphasize the importance of personal growth and health in all relationships. They decide to continue the discussion of the remaining Enneagram types in a future episode.

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Chapters

• 0:04 Enneagram Relationship Compatibility
• 12:09 Enneagram Two's Compatibility Potential
• 18:43 Enneagram Three Compatibility Pairings

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:04

Welcome to Enneagram U with Damon and Kelly, where we explore the mysteries of human personality and help you learn more about you. Whether you're a skeptic or an enthusiast, together we'll take you on a journey of self-discovery using the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram. This is Enneagram U. Hey everyone, welcome to Enneagram U. My name is Damon. I'm here with my friend Kelly. Hi Kelly, hey Damon, kelly, I am so excited.

Speaker 2 0:29

I'm on the edge of my seat about this episode, and you weren't five minutes ago.

Speaker 1 0:32

No, you dropped the title on me or the subject, and I'm like I cannot wait.

Speaker 2 0:37

I know it's going to be amazing.

Speaker 1 0:38

I never thought we would take on this topic. I mean because it has been kind of taboo around the Enneagram world to take on this topic, because it's like, well, you don't want to put people in a box or you don't want to like ruffle any feathers here.

Speaker 2 0:52

Well, we're going to ruffle.

Speaker 1 0:53

I cannot, I, I'm so, I'm so excited. I'm going to let you say how you're feeling and tell everyone what we're going to be talking about.

Speaker 2 1:00

But hurry up because we want to get on the edge of their seats like you, damon, I can't stand it.

Speaker 1 1:06

This is going to be the if this is not the number one episode we've had. I am going to quit.

Speaker 2 1:11

Okay, well, now my feeling is I feel pressured. No, don't feel pressure, please don't.

Speaker 1 1:15

I'm excited.

Speaker 2 1:16

Yes, I am excited too.

Speaker 1 1:17

That's cool.

Speaker 2 1:18

Yeah, I, uh, I'm excited just because it's been a great day and, yeah, this has been a topic that I've done some research on and I've just found enough data that I feel like it's okay to present.

Speaker 1 1:29

I think you're the first person that is taking your courage, the courage you have.

Speaker 2 1:34

We're going to blaze this trail as an ape Get going here. We're going to just move forward.

Speaker 1 1:38

Everyone else is like well, we could, but no, maybe not. Okay, All right.

Speaker 2 1:42

So you know, this year we've been talking about the Enneagram numbers and relationships, and so we are taking on the topic dun, dun, dun dun. Enneagram relationship compatibility.

Speaker 1 1:54

I cannot believe it.

Speaker 2 1:55

I'm sure people have tried this Well yes, but I think from this research and I have to agree just with, like knowing people and looking at different numbers and just putting it all together I feel like this is true. Now we're not going to say like, oh, you can't be in a relationship if you're these numbers. But what we're going to look at, we're going to break it down into three different categories. We're gonna look at each number and the very compatible. So these are the ones you want to be able to be in relationship with.

Speaker 1 2:19

So these are the you know what's happening right now? Everyone's pausing.

Speaker 2 2:22

They're pausing, they're calling their friends, they're saying you have to they're pulling over, they're getting out their notebook Right.

Speaker 1 2:28

They're like wait, stop. They're like I'm not in a place where I can listen to this and concentrate right now. So I got to get there.

Speaker 2 2:32

Right.

Speaker 1 2:43

Yes so.

Speaker 2 2:45

I'm going to take a little work. You're going to have to be just aware of some of the pitfalls. But then we're going there, Damon.

Speaker 1 2:51

Where.

Speaker 2 2:52

We're going to say these are probably ones to really avoid, unless you're both really healthy or really willing to work, Kelly?

Speaker 1 3:00

what if people are already in a permanent relationship?

Speaker 2 3:04

I am there. Damon am there damon. Okay, this is why this is I'm there as a like you've heard from hartley, you know a couple weeks ago, and he and I is the seven and eight combo. What it is? Uh, probably not encouraged. What, unless you're really healthy okay, there's the caveat. Well I mean, and I have to say, like we have been through the pitfalls and worked on our relationship, Okay, I like this.

Speaker 2 3:29

So I'm saying that as someone who is in that probably third column I didn't do this research and go home and tell Hartley, sorry, we probably need to not be married anymore. Right, Right, right right, we just go into it going. Yeah, we have to be healthy. We have to work on ourselves and also know again, different isn't wrong.

Speaker 1 3:44

Right, that's where we're going. Yeah, this is great. Yeah, it's going to be awesome.

Speaker 2 3:48

So let's just start, as we do, with the one, of course, the good person. Any guesses on?

Speaker 1 3:54

Well, ok. So how are we going to do this? First of all, you're going to start with the one and you're just going to put.

Speaker 2 4:00

Well, actually I'll just say uh, you know, which do you think would be probably the most compatible?

Speaker 2 4:05

with the one or with the different numbers and then the other two obviously everyone knows I'm the wrong person to ask this, but let me give you a hint. Okay, so this is one for all the numbers that I find very interesting. So really, the not compatible every time is their same number. Uh, okay, so the one with the one is not going to be compatible, the two with the two. Okay, that eliminates one choice anyway, which I get, because the same numbers I mean can you imagine, especially in like your close personal, like even marriage relationship or significant other, the numbers with the same number.

Speaker 2 4:43

It's just not going to be a good thing yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 4:45

If, if I'm a nine and if I was married to a nine, we wouldn't do anything. You wouldn't be in a relationship because who's going to make that second?

Speaker 2 4:53

you know, second attempt to reach out.

Speaker 1 4:56

Yeah, we're not, that's it you never text back. This is so good. Find that person and you're just yeah. Well, unless it was an arranged marriage, there you go. You could arrange two nines to be together or an arranged relationship.

Speaker 2 5:09

No, whatever, I guess. So okay, yes all right, so you're gonna ask me yeah, so for the one, what do you think would be the most compatible, or very compatible for a one?

Speaker 1 5:17

I need to do this fairly quickly because everybody I can hear the audience yelling out the numbers like, like on the prices, right $6.95.

Speaker 2 5:27

Yeah, yeah, exactly $1.

Speaker 1 5:28

Right, the one I would say least compatible, no, most compatible, oh, most compatible, most compatible Three.

Speaker 2 5:40

You're right. Oh what? Yes, you did it.

Speaker 1 5:43

I need a sound effect.

Speaker 2 5:44

I do. I need a sound effect.

Speaker 1 5:45

I do. I need a sound effect, but I don't think I have one, and that would probably. Let's see here. Do I have a sound effect?

Speaker 2 5:50

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 5:51

Here we go. All right, there's a clapping.

Speaker 2 5:55

I never use these, so the threes and the ones really make good relationships. Okay, because, as we know, the threes and ones, they do have a little bit of that similarity of wanting things to be perfect. They just go at it enough differently that they don't either have a competition for who's more perfect. So for like the three, as long as it looks perfect, that's good enough.

Speaker 1 6:15

Yeah.

Speaker 2 6:16

And so for the one that works okay for them.

Speaker 1 6:18

Okay.

Speaker 2 6:18

Because they both have that desire.

Speaker 1 6:20

I like that a lot. Yeah, okay, I like that a lot.

Speaker 2 6:21

Yeah, so ones and threes, and then the other one that's very compatible with the one. Do you want to take a guess of that one?

Speaker 1 6:28

Very compatible with the one. Well, I'm married to a three and three likes the one, so maybe it's me.

Speaker 2 6:36

Yeah, you're right. Okay, yeah, All right.

Speaker 1 6:39

Look how good you are. Well, that's right.

Speaker 2 6:42

So that, yes, the two most compatible with the one is the three and the nine. And again, a lot of times with the nine they have that one wing, and so that also helps them to be able to step into the one. But be enough different. The nine, as the peaceful person, tends to again be able to merge into the other numbers, but that nine in the one relationship tends to be a good one too.

Speaker 1 7:08

That's a good one to start with, because my wife is a three, I'm a nine. Yes, close, not quite right, maybe. Well, we'll see. I mean, I guess we're not really, but she's, she's like when she's taking tests. She said she's like one point away from being a one right. So that means I could be in the very compatible area if she happens to be a one instead of a three, since it's so close for her.

Speaker 2 7:33

yes, that's right's right yeah.

Speaker 1 7:35

Man, I dodged a bullet on that one. I mean because we knew nothing about this stuff 36 years ago.

Speaker 2 7:42

I know, I know Well, and and again. It doesn't mean that if you're in a relationship with someone that it means like watch out, but it just. Some relationships are just a lot more compatible than others. Others take a lot of work, and not that that's wrong, but you just got to know what you're getting into.

Speaker 1 7:55

We want you to know that. I can't say we're not doctors because you are. You are, but we're not giving any advice here where you should act on it. No, yeah, but we are just informing you, yeah.

Speaker 2 8:05

Just what the research would say.

Speaker 1 8:06

That's right.

Speaker 2 8:07

So the other column, for the one that we want to look at is that you can be compatible.

Speaker 1 8:18

But let's do, let's do well, should we do a void first, or we definitely can? I'm trying to decide which one would work better, because if we do, can be, would be everything else, everything else. Would that be better?

Speaker 2 8:24

yeah so let's do that last okay um, because otherwise you'll go around, and then you'll know right which one to avoid, so let's just go to avoid I don't have to guess it, you can just tell yes, okay, which one should avoid'm going to say seven yes, is that right? No oh okay. Um, so the ones need to avoid again their own number ones, yeah, yeah Got that Also they don't have compatibility that well with fours.

Speaker 1 8:52

Four, okay, yeah, um, and also eights Okay.

Speaker 2 8:54

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:57

And also eights, really, yes, okay, all right, and I think okay.

Speaker 2 8:59

so for the four, a lot of times that one can go to the four and the seven in the arrows, and so a lot of times to go into health they go to the seven. So that's where they are a little more joyful.

Speaker 1 9:11

Oh duh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 9:21

But they can go to that dark side of the four in unhealth, and so I think that's where let's say if a one was wanting to just make things right or better, but a four is in maybe a dark place and deep emotions that four is not going to want the one to come in and try to fix them.

Speaker 1 9:29

And that's going to frustrate the one.

Speaker 2 9:32

And then the other thing for the one and the eight. Again, they're both wanting that sense of justice, but they go at it in different ways. So where the eight is very, maybe open and obvious with their social justice or working for the underdog very much like what you see is what you get. That may be a little too much for the one and again, they're just the similarities, unlike the one and three. Their similarities are going to lead to more friction. Wow, Okay, yes.

Speaker 1 10:00

Man, this is okay. So watch out, this is too good this is too good and it's also like not advice. Yes, it's not advice. We're not judging.

Speaker 2 10:11

No, no judgment. That's why I was so excited. Just to be aware I'm like I cannot believe you're going to do this. Okay, and again all of these numbers can be compatible if you're both working towards being healthy.

Speaker 1 10:20

Really healthy, yes.

Speaker 2 10:21

So I think about, like okay, one that we both know, kimberly Ernest, who's been on you know our podcast as the one she's here talking with us about money. I mean, she and I know each other and we get along very well, right, but you know, but it's one of those things that I think we both too, when we've worked together on things. I lean into her skill set of being very organized and kind of taking the lead with that and she leads into my skill set of more putting things together as far as information.

Speaker 1 10:48

Right.

Speaker 2 10:48

So I mean, we've worked very, very well together.

Speaker 1 10:50

So you can be friends.

Speaker 2 10:51

We can be friends.

Speaker 1 10:52

But if you weren't healthy, you guys would be mortal enemies.

Speaker 2 11:00

Or I know I've been in relationships with ones in the past that didn't have a long lasting friendship, because I think we just got to a place where, I don't know, it just felt like it imploded. Okay, yeah, all right, and then it's probably more of an unhealthy eighth.

Speaker 1 11:10

Then it was like I'll just cut and go do something else Right, which is what I would do. Okay, do something else Right, which is what I would do.

Speaker 2 11:19

Okay, yeah, awesome yeah, oh, this is so fun, I'm having so much fun right now. Good and so for the one then. So then they can be again very compatible if they, uh, you know, are in relationships with twos and fives and sixes, and we also said sevens. So again, that one, seven, uh connection would, I think, be uh, very again if you're both in a healthy space where the joyful person helps the one person, the number one person, be a little more laid back For the two. Being able to have somebody that you're in a relationship with, that's a helper, especially if that one has like a two wing.

Speaker 1 11:50

Huh, this is yeah. I know a couple of friends that one's a one and one's a four.

Speaker 2 11:55

Yes.

Speaker 1 11:55

And they're very pretty good friends. But you know what? They don't hang out all the time Right, it's just like the small now I know why.

Enneagram Two's Compatibility Potential

Speaker 2 12:02

Yes, I mean, it probably is because you need to be in small segments of time versus your close inner circle hang out all the time.

Speaker 1 12:09

Do you think it would be the four or the one that would back out first?

Speaker 2 12:21

I think it's the four. I think it's the four too. Oh, and I don't even know anything about this, I'm just going. I know the person Well, it's a real life example.

Speaker 1 12:23

It's really helpful when you can put that into play. Yeah, that makes so much sense.

Speaker 2 12:24

Because, I think the one's going to be too much for the four, especially in trying to get them to. You know, get out of those darker moods. I don't think the one's going to have patience for the four.

Speaker 1 12:34

Okay, this is overwhelming to me. It's so good.

Speaker 2 12:38

Damon's mind is blown, it's blown and so much fun.

Speaker 1 12:41

Yes, okay.

Speaker 2 12:42

All right, so that's the one, the good person. Let's move to the two. I don't know if I can.

Speaker 1 12:46

All right the loving person.

Speaker 2 12:51

I don't know, that first one was so good, we can just stop there. Yes, now, some of these, I will say they're uh, some of them have uh, two numbers that they're very compatible with. Some have three, some, like the two, just have one that they're very compatible with.

Speaker 1 13:01

Oh.

Speaker 2 13:01

So again.

Speaker 1 13:03

We need to have a. We won't do this everybody, but we need a PDF.

Speaker 2 13:07

Yes, and it looks like you have a chart.

Speaker 1 13:09

Yes, oh, you will have to reach out to us if you want this chart.

Speaker 2 13:13

Yes, yes. I noticed there's a lot of yeah, yeah, it looks like on that chart.

Speaker 1 13:22

Yeah, like, uh, yeah, I don't know what it looks like yeah, it looks like just a very detailed price is right. Actually, it looks like that it's like a game, like a checkerboard with the all the different squares, a game on the price, right?

Speaker 2 13:29

I can't really see it, though, which is, yeah, from a distance here, um, so all right. So, when you think about the two, is there one that stands out?

Speaker 1 13:41

to you that they would be, that you would think would be very compatible. Let's see, I can't. I know, I don't know, like the Enneagram is not in my blood, like it is in your blood, um, so it's harder for me. So I'm trying to think of twos that I know, and who they're married to.

Speaker 2 13:54

Is that wrong? No, especially if it's a good marriage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 13:58

For sure. I don't know. I'd be guessing, but I'm going to say an eight.

Speaker 2 14:06

You are right Again, damon, what it is in your blood, brother you are just three for three Wow.

Speaker 2 14:16

That was such a guess, and again we can see the arrow again, with the two going to the eight in a healthy way, the eight goes to the two in a healthy way again too. And so I think a lot of times what makes a great two-eight combo is the eights are action-oriented and the twos love to help. I think about Carolyn, who was my assistant here at Woodcrest when I was on staff at Woodcrest and I was like here's the plan, and she was like how can I help? Come alongside, and it was a great partnership.

Speaker 2 14:42

Right, okay, and so you know, when you think about twos, you know again, they just want to be able to help, but sometimes they need that powerful person to you know. Give them, you know, just permission to jump aboard. And give them, you know just permission to jump aboard and and also the eights need the twos to let them know hey, you need to slow down a little bit.

Speaker 1 14:59

Right, yeah, you're not thinking of people right now. No, you're not thinking of yourself.

Speaker 2 15:03

You haven't eaten lunch or you haven't.

Speaker 1 15:06

You're not very caring at all.

Speaker 2 15:07

Awesome, yes, and so you know too, I think, in those personal relationships they can just be great partnerships, partnerships, you know, of just being able again that blending of action oriented and then heart oriented.

Speaker 1 15:21

So, backing up here, you said two, and this is the only number for the two.

Speaker 2 15:25

Only number for the two that they say are very compatible. Yeah, wow.

Speaker 1 15:29

Okay, well that I mean. Now I feel kind of bad for the two. Why is that? Well, because they don't have very many people that you know to choose from. That, their pool of people unless everyone's healthy, their pool of people for relationships goes down a little bit if they don't have more than one.

Speaker 2 15:43

Yes, well, and this is the challenge for the two of having to be healthy enough to set those boundaries, because they're going to want to be really close with everybody, like for them. They don't want to just be on a surface level relationship, right?

Speaker 1 15:54

This is awful for the two because they're going to reach out and they're going to be, like you know, rejected and it's the wrong number. You're a seven I'm out. You're a six I'm out.

Speaker 2 16:05

I can't be in a relationship. Yeah Well, hopefully this is freedom for the two as well. I love your positivity. Maybe I'm just spinning it. Am I just spinning it? No, no, no, no, it's okay, it's good, it's good.

Speaker 1 16:17

But yeah, it's only one number, though. The facts are the facts. There's only one here. That's on the first tier, right, and so, yeah, the two has to be. If you're a two, you need to get healthy now.

Speaker 2 16:34

Yes, work on yourself pour into ones that they really have to watch for, that they're not compatible with, unless they are both really healthy. Well, and this also may cause some heartache for a two, there's actually four numbers.

Speaker 1 16:48

See, I wasn't too far off on where this pattern was going. Okay, yes, okay.

Speaker 2 16:52

So the ones that they need to just be aware of again, their own number two, but also not compatible, unless they're healthy, with a three.

Speaker 1 17:02

Okay.

Speaker 2 17:03

A seven and a nine.

Speaker 1 17:06

What, what, yeah, I am such good. Wow, wait a second.

Speaker 2 17:10

I'll think about that for a second. Yeah, process this for a moment.

Speaker 1 17:13

Wow, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 17:16

So think about you in a relationship with a two. What does that look?

Speaker 1 17:18

like yeah, yeah, it's just, twos are overwhelming.

Speaker 2 17:20

Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 17:21

Because they're help. They help me help.

Speaker 2 17:24

Yeah.

Speaker 1 17:25

But healthy twos are great.

Speaker 2 17:26

Yeah.

Speaker 1 17:26

But yeah, that's what I would say, cause we've talked about that before Like twos want to help. And then what can I do for you? And here's this. And you're like no, I'm good.

Speaker 2 17:33

And then they bring it to you.

Speaker 1 17:35

Yeah, yes, so maybe that's where?

Speaker 2 17:37

yeah, I think that too, maybe with other numbers, cause they're probably not going to necessarily do that with an eight Cause they're going to push that a little bit more.

Speaker 2 17:43

Maybe they can be a little more pushy with the nine or the seven, maybe two. I wonder for the seven, like it may be that, yeah, for the seven it may be that they're too much, because sevens are kind of like to be that lone ranger, they don't like to be put in a box, and so maybe for that relationship with the two, if they're not both healthy, it may feel like twos are trying to be controlling.

Speaker 1 18:09

Okay, maybe a bit.

Speaker 2 18:11

For the three. I wonder especially if that three is with a strong two wing, if maybe it feels like there's not enough room for both being helpers.

Speaker 1 18:22

It's almost like its own number. Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 2 18:24

Because a two doesn't mind somebody else coming alongside to help, but they definitely don't want someone else coming in and taking over or not giving them anything, and so I think a three does it so efficiently that the two might feel like gosh, they just did all that and now there's nothing for me to do. So that may be where that breakdown comes in.

Enneagram Three Compatibility Pairings

Speaker 1 18:41

Okay, yeah, I can see that as well. All right.

Speaker 2 18:43

Yeah, which leaves then they can be in a relationship with ones and fours and fives and sixes, okay. And so, like we said, with the one, that's true, the one and the two are together. So same is true, with the two and the one being able to have that compatibility, and then the one I'm sorry the two goes to the four in healthy ways, in that arrow, and so I think that can be a good balance, because a two will be that friend that'll show empathy to a four.

Speaker 1 19:17

I think that would be a really good relationship. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 19:21

And then I think with the five I think you know again the two can go to that five and the harmony triad to be a little more contemplative, so thinking before you reach out to help somebody. So, again, being good listeners, they're going to have empathy for a five and know that a five needs some space. So I think that can be helpful for the five. And then the six. We know sixes and twos have a lot of similarities and can be just both very loyal, faithful, empathetic friends, and so I think a six and a two, if a six has a two friend and a two has a six friend, I think that can be a great combination too, Okay, All right.

Speaker 2 19:56

So twos be, love you. It does not mean anything as far as rejecting you that you have more of watching out for some of the numbers and really compatible with only one. I hope that it does feel a little bit freeing.

Speaker 1 20:09

Yeah, all I'll say is disclaimer. Yes, I'm just using that word, it's just over and over.

Speaker 2 20:14

David's excited, but now he's also feeling a little fearful, I feel like a lawyer is going to call us Anyway.

Speaker 1 20:19

Yeah, I get it, but I can also see some panic happening.

Speaker 2 20:24

Well, again, just to broaden our awareness because, again, this is one of those things that we can learn to increase our emotional intelligence. That is the one area of intelligence we can grow in, and yet it's not always like, oh, it's a super fun growing process, it's something to recognize, like, okay, what are the things that I need to realize about myself and also in interacting with others? So I think this podcast could be a little stretch zone for people.

Speaker 1 20:49

For sure, my mind is blown. Yes, I'll tell you that it's great.

Speaker 2 20:53

All right, moving to the next number, the three. Okay.

Speaker 1 20:56

We kind of did this.

Speaker 2 20:57

Are you feeling a little nervous, since your wife is a three?

Speaker 1 21:01

No, not at all. You're feeling Because of how healthy she is Right, do you hear?

Speaker 2 21:05

that honey. She can drag you along, no matter.

Speaker 1 21:06

Did you hear that honey, who never listens to this podcast? Ever? I don't think she even the one she was on, I don't even think she listened to it because you know what. She's got a list to get through.

Speaker 2 21:16

That's right, she's working. We haven't made the list yet.

Speaker 1 21:18

I know we're not on her list. Well, I've been on her list.

Speaker 2 21:21

Anyway, another topic, all right. So the three is the efficient effective person, and so they have three numbers that they're very compatible with.

Speaker 1 21:31

Well, we've already kind of hit some of them by hitting the other numbers right, so one and nine.

Speaker 2 21:36

Well, actually just the one.

Speaker 1 21:38

Oh well, that's kind of a yeah half of a sad thing. So the one.

Speaker 2 21:43

Yes, the one they're very compatible with, but there's two others.

Speaker 1 21:47

Let's see here, but there's two others. Um, let's see here. No, I'm not. Who are her friends? Eight man, eight. They're very similar to an eight.

Speaker 2 22:02

So I'm not going to say eight.

Speaker 1 22:04

I'm going to say seven and four.

Speaker 2 22:12

Okay, you're close. Okay, it's seven and five. Oh, okay, seven and five, so you get a half a clap.

Speaker 1 22:18

Nah, nah, nah. People are sick of that already. So seven and five.

Speaker 2 22:22

Yes, so one, five and seven.

Speaker 1 22:24

Okay.

Speaker 2 22:24

Are who threes are really compatible with. Again, we talked about the one.

Speaker 1 22:27

I'm not in this list.

Speaker 2 22:29

I know Wait.

Speaker 1 22:31

We haven't done the nine yet.

Speaker 2 22:32

Oh, this is.

Speaker 1 22:33

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. But like it has to go both ways, right.

Speaker 2 22:36

Yes, it has to go both ways.

Speaker 1 22:37

It's over, Honey. I'm so sorry. We have to end this podcast right now.

Speaker 2 22:44

Damon needs to check into marriage counseling.

Speaker 1 22:46

I've got some work to do. No wonder what a wonder Our marriage has been so hard all these years. I finally, oh poor.

Speaker 2 22:54

Paula, okay, awesome so wow, this is that.

Speaker 1 22:59

Yeah, no, I don't know. I'm not as excited about this podcast.

Speaker 2 23:02

I mean, it is, you know, exciting, but also it's our stretch zone.

Speaker 1 23:05

See what I was doing to everybody else just got done to me.

Speaker 2 23:08

Yes, yeah, okay, no, all right, so you feel that yeah, but you know I'm very.

Speaker 1 23:11

You know many people, many people, including myself, have said that they thought I was a one. Okay, Well however, they've also said my wife's almost a one, so that means there's no compatibility at all, whichever way you put it. Yeah, yeah, I don't even know I don't have a sound for this.

Speaker 2 23:32

Damon has just dissociated into a happier time.

Speaker 2 23:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay so like we said, the three and the one talked about that but the three and the five, and so I thought that was an interesting combination again because the three is very efficient and effective. But I think that combination is, if they have that, really that wisdom and discernment, or like this is our why that the five brings, that those two partnered together could actually get a lot done. So I think the five needs, like the three, to be able to partner with, just to be able to just be efficient and effective and I've kind of been like throwing this towards marriage relationships, but it's work relationships, it's friendships, it's all that stuff.

Speaker 1 24:15

So I should have started the podcast with that.

Speaker 2 24:17

It's okay.

Speaker 1 24:18

But anyway, yeah. So you're on a project, you're a three, you're at work, you need somebody to work with. Maybe a five would be really good to get something done.

Speaker 2 24:26

Right and where it's not necessarily like feeling for the five that they have to be. You know a perfectionist about it, you know, but also, I think, that sense of again, you know, so often with ideas or projects you've probably heard it said there's the wow and the how you know we talked about that with the sevens especially, and so I think for a three it would be like okay, wow, but the five might bring the how you know and they partner together on that, like okay, here's like the fundamentals of why we need to do what we need to do.

Speaker 2 24:55

Okay, yeah, and then the three and the seven. I think that's also a very fun combination, too Interesting Again, that balance point of like a seven needs some efficiency and things, or else it's all just ideas.

Speaker 1 25:08

Yeah.

Speaker 2 25:08

And so being able to put some of those things, to put some feet on those things as well, okay, yes, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 25:15

All, right, now check our time. Yes, okay, check our time. So we are about 26 minutes into this and we are at number three.

Speaker 2 25:23

We're going to have to have part two. I know, oh my goodness, yeah, so there's going to be a part two. Part two, yes.

Speaker 1 25:28

Let's do the oh wait we have to do. That's who they are compatible with.

Speaker 2 25:32

Yes, but we have to do the ones that they're not.

Speaker 1 25:35

Oh Lord, I don't want to know this, Okay.

Speaker 2 25:41

Well, and so for the three, there are actually five numbers.

Speaker 1 25:46

I don't want to know this. All right, go ahead.

Speaker 2 25:49

Oh, damon is sweating. So of course the three, but also the two, the four, okay, dodging a bullet the six still dodging a bullet.

Speaker 1 26:01

And the eight?

Speaker 2 26:04

Oh good, okay, so they are yes, they are, and they can be very compatible with the nine, which would be you.

Speaker 1 26:10

It's possible.

Speaker 2 26:11

Yes, it's possible with hard work, Damon.

Speaker 1 26:15

I mean come on, nines and hard work, get off the couch. I mean, do the dishes.

Speaker 2 26:19

This is all Paula's asking from you.

Speaker 1 26:21

Okay, you're right. Two things, you're right. She's asking, but with?

Speaker 2 26:24

these other numbers. So we talked about the two and the three. When we talked about the two, also the four. I think for the four, again, they're going to be authentic, they're going to go at their own pace. And I think for a three, that can just they can have impatience with that. Also, threes try to reduce their anxiety by performing or producing. And a four that can be just inauthentic for them. And then for the six, I think again, if the three and six that arrow, if the three is going to that six that can go in unhealth at times you know where, then they can be more fear-based. So anxiety and fear.

Speaker 2 26:58

I remember Lauren talking about that like for her, as a six going to the three you know in health, of being very efficient. Um, or it can also be like. I've got to perform to. Um, really, you know, uh, you know who I am is what I do kind of thing. Okay, yeah, and then I think the three and the eight, uh, a lot of times they have a lot of similarities as well. Um, but I think to uh again too much, too much alike can be too much.

Speaker 1 27:27

Yeah, yeah, well. Well, you and my wife are not really friends at all but you're both healthy, just kidding.

Speaker 2 27:32

So that's why we're just.

Speaker 1 27:33

You know the best of friends, yeah but you know, you do, you guys hang out but you don't hang out tons right, right. Well, we're both so busy. Well, that's it. You know you guys get along so well so I'm kind of surprised that's in there. But again I do see that there are similarities and yeah, yeah, so I can see how that may not be like the person you want to be with, like all the time.

Speaker 1 27:52

Right, so unless you're both healthy, that was the first note that I made on my card is all this doesn't matter if you're really healthy.

Speaker 2 27:59

Yes, well, and again, even we could say in conflict with relationships. So often, if conflict is something we can walk through together in friendships, but in relationships and work relationships too, in marriage of course, but if we're handling that conflict in a healthy way. We don't want to be in that unhealthy or average space we want to try to be healthy processing our feelings, so that it doesn't just implode a relationship.

Speaker 1 28:21

Okay, so that doesn't leave very many numbers here.

Speaker 2 28:25

It only leaves one Damon.

Speaker 1 28:27

Which one is it? It's the nine.

Speaker 2 28:29

It's the nine. It's possible. It is, you can be compatible. It's possible.

Speaker 1 28:33

Second level it's not going to be easy. Yeah, that's right. But, I think I'll take it at this point.

Speaker 2 28:39

Oh well, I mean, you guys have been married 35 years, Well, but that doesn't mean it was always like you know unicorns and rainbows.

Speaker 1 28:45

No, it is now. It is now for sure.

Speaker 2 28:47

I mean because you guys have worked on it. Yeah, and you're healthy. Yeah, and you're getting healthier every week, oh boy.

Speaker 1 28:51

Yeah, it's true, wow. Well, this has been a fabulous episode and I think we just need to cut it right there, and we will see you in part two of. Enneagram compatibility in relationships.

Speaker 2 29:03

Invite your friends to.

Speaker 1 29:04

Yeah, tell everyone tell everyone about it. We'll see you next week. Bye Kelly, bye Damon.