#53: How To Not Be In Control With Andrea Hill

In 2018 Andrea’s whole world came crashing down around her as she discovered that her husband Austin would need a miracle to survive. Austin was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer, leaving Andrea to not only care for him, but her children as well. 

Now, 75 infusions and 9 surgeries later, Andrea and her husband are changing the lives of so many others who are being asked to surrender control of their circumstances to the Lord. 

In this episode, Andrea Hill and I discuss what it takes to get comfortable with the lack of control in our lives, and what we can do to prepare ourselves so that we remain calm and confident in Christ when the inevitable happens. We share distinct examples that explain exactly why it is so important to develop healthy physical and mindset habits, before the waves come crashing down on your life as you know it.

For all of my personal-development friends, Catholic women of faith, and those in the world who want to make a big impact, this is a definite must listen!

Miracles are around us each and every day, don’t miss out on an opportunity to praise God for them!

Be A Difference Maker! This podcast is growing each and every week, but these inspirational tips and stories cannot reach the hearts of those in need without your help. If you have been blessed by the women on this podcast, please leave a 5-star review and share your favorite episode with a friend! Tag Kylie on your social media stories and receive a special 1:1 coaching offer sent straight to your inbox.

Meet Andrea

• Support Mission 212 Foundation and read Austin's blog HERE
• Follow Andrea on Facebook @andrea.hill.948
• Follow Andrea on Instagram @hillwellness

Meet Kylie

• Virtual Coffee Chat! Nothing brings me greater joy than to be there to encourage and support someone in need. Are you ready to chance 20 minutes of your time for something that will change your life? 
• Come hang out with me on IG for live prayer, reflection, coaching, and inspiration. @kyliemhein
• FREE Download - Daily Examen for Every Temperament
• Do you want to be a podcast guest? Send me your pitch to info@kyliemhein.com

A Few Of My Favorite Episodes

• Don't Forget To Breathe 
• I Want to Be Extraordinary 

Transcript

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In 2018, my friend, Andrea, his whole world came crashing down around her. As she discovered that her husband Austin would need a miracle to survive. Austin was diagnosed with stage four, stomach cancer, leaving Andrea to not only care for him, but for her children as well. Now 75 infusions and nine surgeries later, Andrea and her husband are changing the lives of so many others who are being asked to surrender control of their circumstances to the Lord. And this episode, Andrea Hill, and I discuss what it takes to get comfortable with the lack of control in our lives and what we can do to prepare ourselves so that we remain calm and confident in Christ. When the inevitable happens. Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome to the Persistence in Prayer podcast hosted by Catholic Mindset coach, wife, mother, educator, and speaker, Kylie Hine. Kylie is passionate about helping you deepen your relationship with God through the power of prayer. This podcast is a space for high achievers who want to do it all, but also want to prioritize their spiritual life and grow in faith. Join us as we explore the beauty of persistence in prayer and the transformative impact it can have on our lives. Get ready to discover practical tips, insights, and inspiration to help you develop a daily prayer practice and cultivate a deeper sense of trust in God's plan for your life. Let's journey together towards a more fulfilled and faithful life as we invite the Holy Spirit in. Let's begin. Hello friends and welcome back. Today I am joined by Andrea Hill. Andrea and I went to the same college together but we were on complete opposite sides of campus. Andrea is a devoted follower of Christ and lifelong Catholic. She is blessed to be married to her high school sweetheart Austin for 12 years and together they are raising four beautiful children, Everett, Nora, Vivian, and Mary. Andrea is an online health and wellness coach and nurse and she is also the CEO of Mission 212 Foundation. I'm going to have her explain a little bit More about that later, but I invited Andrea here today to share her story and to share her expertise on how to be a great wife and mom. When the unexpected things hit and life can feel out of control. So often as high achievers and do it all people pleasers, we like things to be in control, but we know that sometimes God has other plans for us and he takes things out of our control so that we can lean more fully on him. And Andrea has an incredible story about a moment. Where things felt very out of control in her life. And before we get into that, Andrea, can you just tell our listeners a little about you, what your life was like growing up and going into your marriage? Yeah. Awesome. And thank you so much, Kylie, for having me. It was great to see a familiar name and I'm so honored to, speak on your podcast. Um, so my, so my growing up, so I grew up in Iowa and I have seven siblings, and grew up on a farm and had a great childhood. I grew up in the faith. I'm a cradle Catholic, like Kylie said. I grew up in the faith. And I Just grew up going to church every single weekend. That's what my parents taught me. And it was just the most wonderful looking back, the most wonderful faith foundation that they could have given me, to teach me that going to church. And my dad would always say like, we need to go get our spiritual battery recharged and we would go to mass every single weekend. I don't ever remember missing. Um, I was a stubborn child sometimes and didn't want to get dressed or get in the car, but, um, but yeah, so then. So went to high school, Catholic high school. So Catholic grade school, K through 12 in Carroll, Iowa. And then after high school, I went to Grandview nursing school and my husband and I actually dated throughout high school and college. So that was kind of fun. And then, After, after college, then we got married and started having kids. It's so funny to think about my college days, and I can only think of maybe like two other Catholics that I knew on campus. And so it's so crazy to think about you being there and growing up in the faith. And I felt like I was on an island of like. I don't have my people here. And so it was so easy to get pulled from the priority of going to mass every week because you're surrounded by so many people who are not in that same like minded trajectory. So it's, it's so funny to just think about you were right there on campus and I didn't even know. I know it is really crazy to think to like I so I grew up in the faith and then when I went to college like I really never fell out, I would say. I just always had a belief. I didn't feel like the Holy Spirit as strong as I do now and like from what I went through with, my husband's sickness and everything, but I was just disciplined to go. And I think it was just the habit that my parents taught me over the years. And I would go to random churches, I would just start searching Catholic churches. And back then, which is so funny, like we didn't have maps, you know, on our phones. Yes. Like, we had the BlackBerry phones, but I still found a way to go. But yeah, how fun would it have been if we would have known each other and just, we were math buddies. Yes, and we probably ended up at the same church sometimes, because I was like that too. I would just pick a random church, and especially as I started practicum teaching, or teaching, I had this weird thing. I didn't like running into students and so I would always try to go to random churches and just find a place where I wasn't going to be interrupted or feel like I had to start a conversation with somebody because I really just needed that quiet prayer time. And so sometimes I would drive a little bit further to get to a church where I thought I wouldn't know anyone. That's awesome. Yeah. So then after I, so my brother actually lived in West Des Moines, so I went to St. Francis of Assisi in West Des Moines for, quite a while. And then my husband and I went there after we got married and our first two kids got baptized in Des Moines. So we kind of had a little bit of a connection there. So I would drive to West Des Moines from Grandview to go to church with my brother sometimes. So fun. I've been to that church. So can you tell us, you got married. Tell us a little bit about this journey as you found out that your husband was sick and what that was like. Sure. So we were in Des Moines for about five years. And then my husband had a job opportunity in Kansas city. So we moved here in 2016 to Kansas city. And so we had two kids at the time. so when we moved, it was like absolute chaos. Like we have a new house. And we had to, we sold our Des Moines house, bought a new house in like a month timeframe. And so moved here. We both had new jobs, new daycare, new church, just new neighborhood, new everything. Like everything was so new. So then we got settled into our jobs and then I got pregnant with Vivian. And then I feel like God was just telling me like, I need, we need to start talking about like. Should I become a stay at home mom? We're going to have three kids in daycare when my third child was born. And so I was just, you know, kind of praying through it and praying about how I can ask my husband to be a stay at home mom. And then I had Vivian. And so this is kind of like a God's timing thing. So I had her then I took my maternity leave. So I decided I'm going to be a stay at home mom, took my maternity leave. And it was like, February 1st was my very last day of work as an RN. And the night before is when my husband first started getting sick with his symptoms. Like one day, which I just think is the craziest timing. And so then we, he went to the ER and we kind of were going through all these testing. So a month later is when he got his stage four stomach cancer diagnosis. And, you know, just turned our world upside down. I had a five month old, and here we're going through this, like, huge storm. We had been in Kansas City for two years, and we just had no idea, like, what, that we would face that as such a young married couple. What was it like, or do you have any tips for people? I think we can all relate to kind of trying to manage chaos. So you think about moving, new marriage, but then you get hit with this other blindside thing of now your husband has cancer. Which, I obviously haven't experienced that, but my dad, um, passed away from cancer a few years ago, and whenever you have someone in your life, there's a lot of extra care that goes into that. It totally turns your world upside down. How did you help to just, one, manage your emotions during that time, and two, manage the chaos of being a parent while also being a caretaker? So I would say, my health coaching job. I actually became a health coach in 2016, right when we moved to Kansas city. And I only started doing that because I wanted workouts from home. We had built a home garage gym and I, that is when I like very first learned about waking up early, starting a gratitude journal and just learning to take care of myself. So I was kind of practicing self care for probably two years, I would say. Um, when Austin was diagnosed with cancer that it's like I just kind of kept going with that routine. And so I thank God so much that I had those routines in place before like this major chaos hit us. But it was, I don't know, I just, I always tell people like my biggest tip is just to take things day by day. That's all you can do. But I do remember like always making my husband a priority. Like he was the one sick and yes, I was a mom to my beautiful children, but I would always try to find babysitting for my kids so that I could be with Austin. Like he would be in the hospital overnight for all of his treatments. And at the beginning, you know, he was very, very ill. I mean, after he was kind of through the first like three years of his journey, our oncologist told Austin that he was on his deathbed twice. And I remember thinking like how, I wonder what two times he's like thinking of and, you know, I, I kind of knew it after he had said it, but I'm so thankful. Like they never talked about prognosis or anything like that, but I just, I just felt like I had this like overflowing piece with me. And I remember people would always come up to me like, how are you doing? So. How are you doing this so good? Like, how do you like, I don't know. I just, I felt like I had this piece and it felt really, it felt really good that I could just keep plugging away. And I mean, the things that I would ask for would be like things to take care of myself. So I guess when you are in the midst of chaos, like, I think it's okay to ask for help. And I think with our, so since my husband's been cancer free for four years now, we started our nonprofit mission to 12 foundation. It's been two years almost to this, this spring, it'll be two years and it has been such an honor to mentor other women who are like in this chaos, the same chaos that I know, but I'm still trying to teach them like it's okay to ask for help. And that's probably one of the main things that I encourage people to do when they apply through our foundation is it's okay to ask for help. I will make your, sign up to this link for a meal train or who can help you during this time. So just kind of helping them brainstorm and figure out how to make it easier on them. I want to go back to a couple of things you said because there's been so many that are so good. First of all, you talk about having the habit before the hardship hit. And I think that that is so important for everyone listening to hear is. We need to establish the habit before the hard thing happens because so often we wait until we're in the middle of it and it's okay, we can still start there, but if we can establish things that are going to help us operate from a piece or a place of calm and clarity now, then whatever waves are going to crash our way, we know that we're going to be okay. Because we've already developed the mindset and the, the daily habits and practices and that relationship with God that we will have that grace to keep going. And I think as women, so often we put ourselves aside and we just say, like, you know, I'll start the workout when I have time. Or I'll start eating healthy when I have time. I don't have time to do it right now. Or I need to care for everybody else. But then we get to a point where we are physically so ill, or there's so much chaos going on around us that we can't function, and we can't be there for the people that need us, we can't be the caretakers, because we don't have anything left to give, because we don't have those habits established. Hey everyone. It's Kylie and I help high achieving Catholic women who want to make a bigger impact in the world. Do it now with confidence and clarity. If you feel like you're being called a more, but your circumstances and overwhelm are getting in the way let's break through together. Have you ever felt like there was something more in the world you were supposed to be doing? Like you're just on the verge of having your big moment. If only you could finish one more class, hire more help manage your time. Better. Or figuring out exactly what it is. You're actually being called to. When I first started coaching, I was working 60 hours a week at my job. I was always pushing my limits, trying new things, learning new skills. And navigating 10 situations with my coat workers, as well as in my home. I was losing sleep at night. Cause it felt like no matter how hard I worked, I showed up day after day after day with resentment building in my heart. I knew it was created for something greater, but I also knew that I was doing. Something safe. My job helped people. And I like that. I was used to the stress and I figured that if I could handle it, why not stay. What were a few tears and sleepless nights. If I was doing exactly what God wanted me to be doing. Except I wasn't doing what God wanted me to be doing. I had simply told myself that lie enough times that I believed it because I was too scared to try anything new. My identity was so wrapped up in being a teacher and a volleyball coach that I didn't know how to step away from it. I made excuse after excuse the truth was, I was scared. I didn't trust God. And I didn't feel like I had what it took. Do you dream of making a big impact in the world? Jump on a coffee chat with me. And I'm going to ask you a few questions. And before you leave, you're going to have clarity on why you aren't going after the desires. God has put upon your heart. Check the show notes for a signup link. So, can we go back to, you said you wake up early and you gratitude journal. I know these are some practices that you still do. I see you posting on your Facebook every day of Hey, I'm up. It's super early in the morning and you're working out and you're doing your prayer stuff. What are those key pillars in your day or that you teach the women that you're mentoring to have in their day to day practice? Yeah. So it all starts with going to bed. And I know that's like a hard thing for people to do, especially with this time change right now. I mean, I'm even struggling a little bit kind of getting back into it because usually I'm sleeping in bed by 9 30, but with the time change, it's like 10 30. And then I can't wake up at 4 30, like I normally do. So, I mean, it's always adjusting. And I feel like as wives and as mothers and as Christians, like it's so important to just, you Just know and feel that there's always going to be seasons. There's always going to be seasons where they're harder and there's going to be seasons that are easier. So right now for me, it's easier because my kids are 11, 8, So they're all sleeping through the night, but like I've been doing health coaching for, you know, eight years. So there were definitely times where I didn't wake up early or, you know, I modified my workouts like crazy. And so, but I think, um, yeah, just going along with the morning routine. So I, yeah, so I go to bed at nine 30, wake up at four 30. So I shoot to get seven hours of sleep. That's usually plenty for me. I know other people are different, so you just have to know how much sleep do you need? And then when you get up, like have a list when you get up of what you're going to do. So for me, it's like, I get dressed, I get my, some kind of tea or like my pre workout. And then I come downstairs and I set my spot and I turn on Bible in a year. That's kind of what I'm doing right now. I'm on day 235 and it's awesome. I love father Mike Schmitz and his takeaways and just the way he reads the Bible, it's been really, really, eyeopening to me to just kind of go through the whole Bible chronologically, like in a Catholic way and, and then I will gratitude journal after that. I also do dream journaling. For, the goal oriented people out there. I am obsessed with dreaming actually. And I truly believe that if you just dream and just let go of everything out there, that could possibly feel like a fear or a doubt. And so I actually learned that from coaching too, but like, so how I dream journal is you just, you just start writing. I dream, I dream too, and just keep writing. And I will write like a full page sometimes when I'm dream journaling. And it's just, A way for you to just let go of what's like holding you back from what you think you, like what your potential is, like what God is calling you to do. Like we built a house in the country and now we're building a barn and it's a training shed. My husband's going to train kids in this barn. And so there's always things that are, I don't know. It's just like, God is just like, as long as we have an open heart, I feel like We can let God in and let others in in our life. Every week. I feel like there's something that's like, okay, God, like I'm going to say yes to this. I love that. Um, first of all, going to bed early, we have similar sleep schedules. And I also have been really struggling with the time change because it's still light out. So my kids want to go to bed later, which means I go to bed later, which means it's harder to get up in the morning. I, but. I love even just having a routine in the morning or knowing what you're going to do. So when I go to my prayer time, knowing what scripture I'm going to reflect on, whether it is the daily readings or, this actually ties in with your dream journaling. Right now I'm going through Sonia Corbett's course that's called Dream Big. And it is a lot of kind of dream, dreaming with the Lord. And it's so scripture based, which is beautiful because I can use those scripture verses for my daily mental prayer in the morning. But it's also Lord, what is your dream for me? And that freedom to allow ourselves to dream, I think so often we can just stop and, and not allow ourselves to dream because we're like, well, that's never going to happen. We have such doubt But when we allow ourself to just imagine the possibilities and invite God into it, He's going to show us what is possible. And it's way beyond what we could ever even imagine. I think of you guys starting a foundation and how maybe scary that was if you, or would be, if you didn't have this practice of allowing yourself to just kind of dream the impossible things and see what God puts on your heart. And also the faith of your husband too, because I feel like this is very much, A group effort kind of thing. So those are excellent. So again, going to bed early, having a routine in the morning, incorporating prayer, gratitude journaling. And then you also do some sort of exercise with your body. Yes. Yes. So I, so I partner with Body and there's just, the platform is amazing. It's so good. I actually do some in person ones as well right now, but you can do it completely virtual. And so right now, I focus on heavy lifting. I really think it's important to, stress our bones, especially as women. And I, as a nurse, ironically, I actually work on an ortho floor. So those lots of broken bones, osteoporosis, osteoarthritis. And so just putting. Pressure on your bones and like back to the cave man days, women had to do chores and they had to lift buckets of water and do all these chores. And now women don't have chores like that. And so we. Are called to stress our bodies if we can and if we're able so I love weightlifting programs and so I'm doing like a 12 week program right now and I'm on week like eight and I and I kind of this is kind of a huge takeaway so I've been coaching for eight years like I've said And I feel like at first I was a little obsessed with like, Oh, I need to get my workout in. I need to do the whole thing. I need to like follow it exactly. And now I don't do that really. I just listened to my body. If I am feeling really good and feeling energized, I'm going to do a heavy leg day and I might go off track just a tiny bit, but I love that our programs have like workout calendars that you can print off and you can follow exactly. And most of them, I love the idea that we have. 21 days. So it takes 21 days to build a habit and to stick with it. And so a lot of our programming is based on 21 day programs just to like, get yourself to have the habit and get in the mood for 21 days. And then after that 21 days, you can reflect and be like, how do I feel after this last 21 days? I feel like more of the last couple of years I've been, like, I have more faith when I work out. And what I mean by that is I feel like most of my workouts, I'm, I end in like crying because I am, it's just, I don't, I think it's a mixture of the endorphins. It reminds me of when my husband was sick, I would work out for stress relief, a hundred percent. Like I would just do 30 minute cardio workouts just to like, just to release the stress so that I could go back in the house and be like, okay, what do I need to do? And those days were absolute chaos. I remember one night it was probably 10 o'clock and I, I thought I was ready for bed. Like I had put all the kids to bed. I had gotten Austin ready for bed and hooked up his tube feeds and everything that he needed because he would do two feeds at night to try to eat during the day. And I remember walking downstairs and I'm like, Oh my gosh, there is like four coolers of medicine that needs put away. And I'm just like, okay, I got to do this. And so I think just taking care of my body and taking care of just training it like a temple, like how I learned. For being a coach two years prior to that was so, so important so that I could have energy all day long and give my husband like the best support that I could, and then just to be able to keep taking care of my kids and, you know, running all over the place. I have heard you say again and again, and I just want everyone to hear it. You have to prioritize yourself. In all of this, in all of the, the taking care of everyone else, you recognized that you needed to move your body, and you were not going to be able to sustain anything else unless you were getting that piece in. And. I think so often we're not even aware of what we need. So for some people, it's I need time and space to process my emotions. If I need to go cry, but I'm married to someone and that's triggering to them, then I need a space where I can go cry by myself. Or I need, like, I'm a creative person and if I don't have a creative outlet, I'm going to really struggle. We need to recognize what we need and be okay with giving ourself permission to ask for it, like to ask our spouses or to ask our loved ones to help us make sure that we have the opportunity to make sure that those needs are met. And so I appreciate that so much about you, as you were just so clear and like, this is what I needed and I did it. And I think because of that, we are able to do so much more, we make such a bigger impact in the world, even though we have less, we have quote unquote less time because we took time for ourselves, because we're operating from a place of common clarity, we get so much more done in less time. I think that's amazing. I love that so much. That's kind of, Reminding me of a, of something I say all the time is eat for fuel and eat for joy. So, and I mean for, if you don't have like sensitivities to certain things, obviously this is can be a little bit more difficult if you have like gut sensitivities or whatever. But so eat for fuel, eat for joy is something that I live by and I have ever since I started coaching. And I truly like what you said about like it gives you energy to do the things that you want to do so I and this is like a mindset thing that I've had for several years now is like when I look at food. I think if I put that food into my body, how is that going to make me feel? If I, if I eat the wrong portions, I am going to be not feeling good. And it's not going to give me energy to do that next thing. And I feel like so often people will ask me like, how do you like do, I mean, I say I have four different jobs. Like I'm a stay at home mom to my four year old. I am a nurse at a hospital. I am the CEO of our nonprofit and I do health coaching. So And it sounds like a lot, but I feel like the reason that I can do all those things and manage them all is because of my food and what I put in my body. And it goes along with like our faith too. I want to treat my body like a temple. What I put in is so important and I feel like I can serve others better. I can serve, I can just serve so much easier when I feel good. I'm going to, I'm going to have the energy to say yes to those things that I, that God wants me to say yes to. And just like looking at like how I serve in like our, our church, our Catholic church, and I don't know, it's just, it's crazy. My kids are so young and I am so involved, like I'm doing this year, I committed to Sunday school. So I'm teaching Sunday school on Sundays and I sometimes help with children's liturgy. I lead a mom's group through our church as well. So those three things are kind of what I've committed to this year in the church and each year and each season, I just kind of pray about it and just ask myself, like, am I feeling joy in, in what I'm doing in the church? And if I don't feel that like really strong joy. Then I know it's maybe time to say no and to say yes to something else where God wants me to be. And it is like, it's hard to say no because I am a chronic people pleaser. Like I want to say yes to everything. If someone asks me to do something, I'm going to say yeah, right away. So now I'm trying to like, just pray about it and just know that I can pray about it. I don't have to say yes or no right away. And so that's really been helping me decide like what's best for like our family time, um, time with my kids, because I, I definitely want to keep like the evenings that we have open, like our kids are in a lot of activities. So the evenings that we do have open, I want to keep those open. Yeah, I love that. Speaking of families. So you have four kids and they're getting to that age where they're involved in activities. So Mike, I only have two kids and we're in soccer season. So it's like every single night because their practices are on different days, of course, even their games are on different days. And it's a half hour from where we live. So it's just. It's chaos, but how do we, or what are some ways that we can keep our marriages strong? First of all, when we're raising kids with busy schedules, and we also have work schedules of our own, but also in a world that doesn't necessarily value family. Yes, I love that. And I am, I don't know, I just have such a passion for marriage just because my husband and I, we dated for eight years and then we got married, had our kids, and then we went through this, like, Very, very, very tough season of marriage where I was actually like 100 percent caregiving for an entire year. And then we, you know, started going on trips and stuff together. And so I felt like we were husband and wife for like, for like a year. And then the next year was another caregiving year. And so it was extremely challenging. And I would say like, one of our biggest tips for our marriage is. Whatever I feel like tension or the disconnection with my husband, we're both like looking at each other and we're like, we got to schedule a date night. And so when our kids were small and we've never really had a family super close to ask them to babysit. So we've always committed to paying for a babysitter once a month. That's just like what we do. And so, and we have like, um, a babysitter list through our church. And so there are lots of names. And so we just hire babysitters usually once a month. Now that our kids are getting older, we're able to have them babysit for a couple hours if we just go somewhere that's pretty close. But the other thing that we've kind of been exploring with is at home date nights, and it's actually been working extremely well, and it still works for the connecting piece. And I think it's important, so important for our kids to see that our marriages are strong. And you know, we go to church every weekend as a family, and so they see that piece, but I think just seeing mom and dad show affection. And seeing mom and dad make time for each other because like a happy mom and dad makes a happy family. Cause I think they know like all marriages, there's going to be tense moments where you're, you know, having arguments about certain things and. It can be stressful on kids. And so we, I mean, we try to limit that, but we also try to just be real and we've always been real. I mean, especially Everett, our oldest, he was five when my husband was diagnosed. And so he saw, you know, the hard, hard stuff where, you know, Like my husband, you know, didn't talk at all really for like two months. And so when he started fighting with me, I remember being happy about it. I'm like, Oh my gosh, he's like, he's arguing with me. Like, I'm happy about this very, very passionate about marriage and just. There's so much more to it, but I think that's probably my biggest tips right now in the season that we're in, and I guess kind of going back to like the sports thing, because like right now we have my kids are mostly in basketball right now. And so we have to in basketball. My daughter's actually starting piano tonight. And so I feel like the evenings are tough with like splitting and conquering sometimes, especially on the weekends when they like both have tournaments. And whatnot. And so I've been trying lately just to try to have like talk rituals, which I'm reading. We're reading that book in my, in our church. It's called corporal works of mommy. And so one of the corporal works of mercy is, was talking about like how you can live out the corporal works of mercy in your home. And it was really cool just talking about your kids and how you can serve them and the talk rituals. So just like when we're dividing and conquering and going every direction, just trying to have like 15 minutes of like sitting down as a family. So even if we can't eat dinner together. Like trying to sit down on the couch, just all sit in a circle without our phones and just what was your high and what was your low today? So we kind of started that recently and I've really been enjoying the connection with the kids. Yeah, we do that too. And even, it's a really busy season for my husband last week. He worked 70 hours. It was nuts. But he called one night and he's like, hey, I think I'm gonna need to work late. Would you guys just bring me dinner? And so we went and ate dinner with him at his work because he knew that he couldn't come home and he wasn't gonna be home and Time for the kids to go to bed. So that was like our 15 minutes together. We took him dinner. We sat and like you, we do highs and lows either at dinner. Sometimes we'll do them in the car. And a lot of times we do them at bedtime. We'll say like, what are your thank you gods for the today? And so I love that. I think it's so great to be able to connect. And I'm curious, two things. One, did you say that you have a babysitter list through your church? Because if so, that's incredible. And I think every church needs to have that. If anyone listening, if you don't have that at your church, maybe you should go petition to get that started. Because I think that is a phenomenal idea, especially for people who are new to the area, and they don't know anyone who, is trustworthy that they could babysit and feel good about leaving their kids with because then they're not going to leave home. They're, they're not going to make that date night because they don't have anyone that they feel safe leaving their kids with. So that's incredible. But I wanted to go back to, you talked about your You're five year old and when your husband was sick, and this is something that I know we've tackled in my marriage with my own health issues and my health journey. But how do you feel about being vulnerable with your kids and letting them see, your struggles? Some people are very, like, adamant about, you know, we don't want our kids to see us crying in frustration or whatever it is, but I'm sure there were days where you were caretaking and probably at the end of your, at the end of your patience, at the end of all of the things, and you have littles at home, how did you handle that? That's a really good question. It's making me tear up, actually, um, you asking it, because, like, we were so, so vulnerable with our kids. Like, I mean, trying to go back and just think about what life was like is, is sometimes difficult. I get emotional talking about it because it was just very, very challenging time. But I remember one specific time, my five year old was on, our front step. I remember it being like a beautiful spring day and he just looked over at me and he said, mommy, is daddy going to die? And I was like, Oh my gosh. Like, I, like, I didn't know how to answer that question. And so it's, I don't know, like it, like, so to answer your question, Yes. I was extremely vulnerable. I actually found a, it was like, someone had sent it to us, you know, we got gifts upon gifts upon gifts, um, sent to our house, but there was a book that was called, reflections, but it was like a blog book. And so I, it was like a blog from a father that had cancer. And so I would just read one of those blog posts every single night. To my son Everett, when we were going to bed and then I had this huge aha moment and I'm like, my husband blogs, like your dad blogs, we're going to start reading your dad's blog posts. And so, I mean, I couldn't ever get through them without crying because we would just start from the beginning. And I think this was probably, you know, six or nine months in maybe that I had realized this, like, I'm going to read your dad's blog, you know, cause everyone in the world was reading. This blog and for anyone that doesn't like know my husband's blog, we have a website which Kylie will put in the podcast notes, but he has a blog on our mission to 12 website. And that is one of the, like the biggest resources that I share with our cancer families is to go read my husband's blog, go to CaringBridge, sort it from, you know, the oldest to newest and just start reading. And one of my dreams, I'm waiting for my husband to say yes, but. I really want to put his blog into a book, but so, so when I would, when I would read this blog to my son at bedtime, but it was really, really awesome for me to just like reflect on it, but then also just to be like a hundred percent vulnerable with my kids. And, you know, Everett's the only one that can really relate, I guess. I think my girls were just too young, you know, and like our youngest is four now. And we talk about daddy having cancer and things like that. Um, but I think my, my older son, he's the one that really gets it the most and just understands it all. And we have a, we made a professional video, last fall. And our son talks on that video and he, he tears up and it's, if you haven't watched it yet, it's a real tear jerker. And it's just, he's so like, he was so brave and he had to help me with so much stuff and he would just do it. And he was five, six, seven years old. Yeah. Kids are so resilient. I know even when I was pregnant with my youngest, my daughter was only three and she would come into the bathroom. I was so sick. She would come into the bathroom while I'm like hovering over the toilet. Throwing up and she would just find a towel and she'd put it on me and she'd like to try to keep me warm and she'd just say, it's okay, mommy, you just puke in the potty. And, um, I also think back to, I was taken by ambulance once I had bilateral pneumonia and it just, you know, thinking I could push through it. I can push through it. I can push through it. And it got to the point where it's so bad. I, I wasn't getting enough oxygen and my kids saw me go in the ambulance and That's hard to look back on because they still remember it, especially my daughter. She remembers it And so sometimes when I'm sick now She'll think back to that and she'll worry that I'm not gonna be okay or she'll think back to coming to visit me in the hospital, but I I'm so, I love that you included your kids on that journey, because they learn so much, and they learn that it's okay to be sad sometimes. It's okay to be frustrated, it's okay to feel angry, and they learn how to process those motions in a healthy way. because they've seen you do it in a healthy way. And so that's such a, a beautiful gift that you've given to your children and that you get to help other women give to their children as they go through their own journeys with health and with their spouse's help. So thank you for sharing that. And I will definitely, link everything that you said there. To your husband's blog. Another thing that really worked well for my kid, was books. And there are so many more books out now than there were even when my husband was diagnosed. But we are, I'm, I get excited and it's like my, our nonprofit, which is a hundred percent volunteer for all, for my husband and I, I could work that probably eight hours a day, just like. You know, filling out grants and, you know, there's so much more, like we have huge dreams for a nonprofit and it's getting bigger and bigger every year. And I feel like we're, we're not being as patient as we should be. It has to be in God's time, not our time, but it's been, um, yeah, really good. Will you just share with everyone? Uh, so mission two 12, you help wives of spouses who have been diagnosed with cancer. But I know you guys did a really cool thing. You sent a family somewhere. Can you just share about that really quick? Yeah. So mission two 12 foundation. So it's, for fathers and their families who are battling cancer and. One of our requirements is that they have to have kids in the home. And so it's a very, I thought it was too small of a niche at first. Um, it's actually, we've had several families apply and it's really been a true blessing. And I didn't, I didn't realize how much I would be a part of the foundation, honestly, when we first started it, because like we were going to serve the father and their family, but I'm finding that, you know, there's a lot. The father is the one that's sick and they don't really want to chat where I think women like to chat. So it's really been working out really well where I can connect with the wife and a mom. And there are so many different advice questions that I answer and I just, kind of contact them right away and just figure out what they need and how we can serve them. And then, I bring it back to our board. We have six board members total and they're all Catholic, which I love. Um, and then we just decide how we serve the family. And I feel like a lot of our families we've been taking on trips, so it's kind of like make a wish for, cancer families. And my husband and I, so when he was sick, we traveled a ton, like his first year of being diagnosed, he just kept planning trips because he didn't think he was going to be alive for the next trip that he planned, and so he just kept on planning trips. And so that was just like something to look forward to, it's, you know, different walls. And so our first, yes, our first year, his first year of being diagnosed, we went on four trips. And so that was a way for us to just clear our minds and go to the mountains and. Mountains are super, super powerful to us now, and Colorado is one of our favorite places. So there was a family recently that we served, and the dad had, stage four pancreatic cancer, and they have two kids, five and two. Oh, wow. So that's like, I just relate to each family so differently, but that's the age my kids were when Austin was diagnosed. And so they went to, so we were going back and forth on ways of ways we could serve them. And, I was texting the mom and we've came up with that. Um, he wanted to go on a trip. Cause the huge Cardinals fans, they wanted to go on a trip to Florida, to the spring training game and wanted to go fishing. And so they just got back last week. from that like week long trip. So we provided that trip for them financially. And it feels really good. Amazing. All right. As we close up here, I always ask my guests to share a scripture verse that is meaningful to them and or a prayer tip. And you gave me both. So I'm going to read the scripture that you gave me. You said second Corinthians chapter 12 verses nine and 10. But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. Why is that scripture verse meaningful to you? So there is kind of a long story behind that scripture verse. When we were trying to figure out what we wanted to call our foundation mission to 12 foundation And we were struggling we couldn't figure it out And so I started scrolling through my husband's blog posts on his caring bridge And I ran across and every single one had like a title and there was this one Post that had two corinthians 12 9 through 10 And so that verse has always just stuck with me. And the crazy thing is, is that he had that verse in that title, but he did not talk about that verse at all in the blog posts from what I remember. And so it's just, it's a really powerful way for us to like mentor the families that we're mentoring. And just to know that, There is power in weak weakness and there is strength in God when you can boast in your weaknesses. Amen. And your prayer tip. I absolutely love this. You said Bible in your first thing in the morning, and then you said, Google a video of a kid's version of the chapter that's being read, excuse me, and take notes. And I thought this was genius, but I'm going to let you share first. So I've been sharing this with everyone and. It sounds really corny, but it is the best. So if I'm down stairs, I do my Bible in a year, it's like 30 minutes. And then, you know, I'm trying to like listen to it and take notes because I don't comprehend well actually. And so it just helps for me to always like write stuff down. And so I will, and you know, father Mike Schmitz, he does like three chapters and then he does like a five minute interpretation of the chapters and it's all in chronological order, which I love. And then, so after that, I'm still kind of like, well, like I kind of understand what he's talking about, but kind of not. And so I will Google, so like recently in my notes right now, it's talking about a weeping Jeremiah and prophet Ezekiel. So it's the time when, Judah is being exiled into Babylon. And so I will like, I'll just Google, I'll Google weeping Jeremiah kids video. And then it will tell me like what Jeremiah was like in a kid's version. And they're always cartoons. And so, sometimes my kids will, like, walk in when I'm, like, finishing up, and they're like, Mom, what are you watching? I think it's genius. And I, I will say, like, sometimes the simplest version is the best version. And I get so much from reading my kids stories. Bibles with them, like the children's version. So, you know, as they get older, we're graduating. But especially the Old Testament, I think it's so amazing to be able to go back through there. And it helps you, get the chronological order down, because it's not every story. And it's just, like you said, broken down in a very simple way. Some of the details are taken out. So, you can, you know, Get the gist and kind of internalize what God is giving you in that moment without everything. So I'm not saying don't read the whole thing, obviously, but I think it's so great and it can be really helpful. That's a great one that I haven't heard before and I absolutely love it. Thank you so much for being here. You are a joy and the work that you're doing is so foundational. Beautiful souls, thank you again for journeying with me. If you have been blessed by this episode, it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. Be sure to screenshot it, share it on your social media stories, and don't forget to tag me on Instagram or Facebook at Kylie M. Hine. Stay persistent in prayer, protect your peace, and as always, share the light of Christ with everyone around you.