THIS Is Why You Should Talk About Your Childfree Life!

Should you be shouting “I’m Childfree!” to the world? We think so! In this episode, we share some powerful reasons why it's important to be vocal about your childfree choice.

Even if it doesn't come naturally to you, the benefits of sharing this aspect of your life can often outweigh any potential drawbacks. We'll explain exactly why.

Rick reveals the stress his brother experiences with four kids, Veronica talks about healing from a foot injury, and we answer a listener's question with an impromptu role play. Join us as we continue to celebrate our childfree life!

If you’re looking to make new childfree friends around the globe, there’s a whole community of childfree people waiting to meet you. 🧡Join our growing membership community! More info here: https://www.thechildfreeconnection.com/

I’m currently coaching my group program “Is Childfree For Me? The Essential Guide To Exploring Childfree Life”. This group program is a deep exploration journey of the childfree choice for women who have been stuck in indecision and are looking for clarity. This is an invite-only program. Book your FREE call with me and together we will decide if this is exactly what you need. https://www.ischildfreeforme.com

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More about The Childfree Connection: https://www.thechildfreeconnection.com/

Transcript

Veronica: If you're loving your child free life or exploring the child free choice, take a seat, my friends, because you just found your new home. I'm Veronica, a 48 year old child free coach who is living a happy and confident child free life with my partner, Rick, 

Rick: who's also gratefully child free. 

Veronica: And our dog, Eddie, here in Austin, Texas.

My journey towards a child free life was confusing and rocky at first, so if you can relate to the anxiety of indecision, don't worry because I know exactly how to support you through my program, Is Child Free For Me?, the essential guide to exploring a child free life. 

Rick: I'm Rick, Veronica's partner. I'm a 52 year old child free man who didn't realize until later in life that I actually had a choice about having children.

And now? I'm fully aware that men are an equal part of the child free conversation. 

Veronica: Together, we are on a mission to connect child free people around the world through our private membership community, which by the way, y'all are all invited to [00:01:00] join 

Rick: and celebrate this path with the topics that matter to you most.

Veronica: Think of this podcast as your go to destination for living a child free life that truly lights you up. Welcome to the child free connection.

Rick: I'm adjusting myself for the podcast 

Veronica: as you should. 

Rick: Why does it seem like I'm going to come in hot with a question. 

Veronica: Okay. I'm ready. 

Rick: Why does it seem like everything now is trying to kill us? Let me explain. Every podcast I listen to, there's a lot of focus on health, and I just discovered a podcast that talked about microplastics.

This is the new thing for me, and they were talking about how you can't use plastic cutting boards because Microplastics get into the food and they showed this demonstration of the knife hitting the plastic and how much plastic is coming off the cutting board. That's just one of a million things I'm trying to avoid because [00:02:00] everything is trying to kill us.

And I can fold it into the child free experience because if we were to have kids, The amount of plastics probably doubles or triples. So now 

Veronica: many things. Yeah. 

Rick: So now we're worried not only about our own plastics, but our kids plastics. So I'm very grateful that we have minimal plastics that we have to worry about, but there's so many other things that are trying to kill us.

Veronica: I mean, there's a million things. I mean, we have plastics, we have metals, and I think that you and I just happened to be in a season of really paying attention to health and, and here's the trick, right? Because this is what the algorithm does. It just starts feeding you. You watch one video about plastics and now you're going to get 25 billion videos about plastic to increase your fear by a thousand percent.

We, we know that that happens to all of us. It's important to take this information in and also sit back and know that a lot of the information is just to help [00:03:00] us and guide us. But if we go down the rabbit hole, I mean, we would be scared of doing anything and using it. Nothing because everything is quote unquote bad for you, right?

Rick: It seems like our lower food is bad for us. I 

Veronica: know. Everything we 

Rick: use to carry our food, the list goes on and on. 

Veronica: All we have to do is we have to just do our best. Just be preventative when we can, but not be psychotic to the point where it's a affecting us so deeply and we're concerned about using something or eating something.

So all we can do is be informed, do the best that we can and just keep it moving like that. 

Rick: I love how you're so like you break it down in such an analytical way. And I'm just bringing it. I 

Veronica: see you going down the rabbit hole of not just plastics, but everything else that you've been watching and listening to.

And I have as well. I mean, I'm watching, I'm reading my book, reversing Alzheimer's. Um, right now, which was just [00:04:00] released and super interesting. And I told you when I was reading that book, I have to read a chapter at a time because it's just so it's, I can feel it inside starting to get me worked up about all the things that I need to be aware of.

And. Not do and not use and do. And it just gets very overwhelming. So we just need to really take it in nice and slowly and know that we're trying to do the best we can. 

Rick: Is there one thing that you're taking away from the book that you're really focusing on right now? 

Veronica: The idea of strength training, and I'm really looking at it.

Differently right now. I think that my history with strength training has been one of aesthetics, right? Like what is my body going to look like? And I really didn't fully understand the mechanics of what is happening in our muscle tissue, how that's connected to the neuroplasticity in our brain, how it's affecting our brain cells [00:05:00] and so on and so forth.

So now that I'm really starting to make. A very specific connection. It's not so much about, Oh, how do I look in these clothes at all? It's about, I want to get to the point when we're older where I'm not falling. And because my bone density is so poor that I'm breaking a hip and potentially getting really hurt or dying.

Right? So we have a friend right now, actually, whose mom has fallen for, I don't know, the. Fifth time, maybe in the past three months, she's in the hospital again. All of these factors come into play. So right now it's just about us having a healthy life. And it's something that as child free people, people tell us all the time, who's going to take care of you when you're older, what's going to happen when you're older.

And I think a big slice of the pie is taken on the responsibility for our bodies. Now. 

Rick: 100%. I love that. It's interesting because I always think about how it seems like our bodies are so fragile at times, but then you hear of these stories on how the body [00:06:00] heals itself. And you're like, wow, we actually are a really strong organism in a sense.

Speaking of maintaining our bodies. So I was talking to my brother last night and he was explaining to me how his wife hurt her foot dancing. She's a dance instructor and he was telling me he might need some help because he has four kids. Yeah. And he has a full-time job, and he has no one to help my mom.

Veronica: Your mom's away. 

Rick: Away is away. He's usually 

Veronica: their go-to who's usually there. Yeah. 

Rick: He's usually there to help. So he is stuck and it just brought up some gratitude that. You know, I can't imagine having to drop everything and possibly take a leave from absence from work to be able to just handle the kits.

I mean, that's a lot of stress and he seems stressed. And my brother handles a lot of stress all the time. 

Veronica: There's the sweetest and always handles stress really well. And some of the stress that they go to is incredible. And I'm so sorry that she's going through that. I'm going to text her actually after we do this, but yeah, it's a lot because there's four kids, they're very active, they're young, and they're all home.[00:07:00] 

From school. 

Rick: Yep. 

Veronica: So I can see how her being bedridden with her foot situation must be really extremely, extremely challenging for him. So especially not having a mom around to help 

Rick: when you have all those responsibilities around you, you know, and something goes wrong. It's just, it's tenfold. It really is.

I see, I see this more and more. The more I talk to my friends with kids. 

Veronica: Yeah, absolutely. And this goes back to that podcast as we did as choppy life easy. And we say, no, it's not easy, but is it easier? And I always think of that because I add that like dash E R all the time because you and I have plenty of challenges and so does our friends here that are listening or watching, but it is easier.

For example, if my, we're actually going through a thing with my foot right now and my leg. But you are not managing for children or home from the summer. So easy or yeah, 

Rick: absolutely. Well, what's going on with your foot? What happened? 

Veronica: Well, I'm [00:08:00] standing right now. So that's a good, that's a good sign. I'm trying not to put too much weight on it, but even putting weight on it, it's not that bad.

So you and I decided, was it on Sunday to go for this. It's a four mile walk and I love going on these walks. I'm glad that you came with me. I go on these types of walks all the time and I was fine, completely fine. And then Sunday night I just started to get this pain in my ankle and then it started to radiate towards, it made it all the way up to my knee and I was able to walk less and less and I've just been kind of waddling around and you've been yelling at me that I'm not resting.

Rick: You can rest it. And 

Veronica: I've been icing it and it's been really frustrating because we mentioned here that I'm on like this epic workout fitness trying to get, you know, per what we were saying at the beginning of the podcast, trying to maintain my health and now I can't do a lot and it's really frustrating, but the good news is that it does feel, I think, a little bit better today.

So I'm going to celebrate that. 

Rick: Good. All right. Small wins, right? 

Veronica: Yeah, exactly. 

Rick: Real quick, before we [00:09:00] get into today's topic, I got a comment recently and I wanted to get your take on it. parents so you wouldn't understand. I didn't even know people said that still. 

Veronica: Oh my gosh. All the time. All the time. I even, I feel like we've talked about it on here.

No, 

Rick: I hate that comment. I'm going to use the word hate. I hate that comment. 

Veronica: It's really unnecessary to say it says I don't. Trust any of your opinions. I don't trust that you can look at a situation objectively. I don't believe that you have any insight when it comes to matters that don't directly pertain to you.

It says so much about it. And actually I feel that people who are not in the experience itself, but have, but have a bird's eye view of what's going on, have give a lot of value. And one example, and we'll get back to your example in a second is, Single people watching what happens in relationships. I've always felt because people had [00:10:00] told me that have told me that before in my, in the times of my life where I've been single, like, well, you're single right now, like what, what would I know?

But I'm extremely observant about human behavior, as you know. So I can watch a couple and see what's happening, what their dances, what their dynamic is, and make some observations. If asked, right, I can give some feedback. I'm not going to give advice. I'm just going to make some observations. So for someone to come along and say like, well, you wouldn't know you're not in a relationship right now.

Doesn't make any sense. And I think it's the same way with kids. You and I have called it with our friends who are parents. Cause we've seen. Things happening when the kids are younger and we've made comments of this could turn it potentially into this and we've had evidence of that show up throughout our lives because we're older now and the kids are older.

So now we can see it unfolding things that we had seen sooner that perhaps other parents couldn't. 

Rick: Yeah, no, I [00:11:00] love that. Take on it. I never even thought about that because it is the truth. There are many times where I will always seek an opinion of someone that isn't as close to something because they are going to have a different out of the box thought.

But in my opinion, I feel that it's just a way for someone that's frustrated to dismiss you. You know, it's really Rude is the best way to say it. 

Veronica: It is. So that's what we have to remember as child free people that when we do offer up our little nuggets of insight, and someone says that to you, that they're taking it extremely personally as if you're knocking them down and they're giving that back to you.

So it's up to us not to receive it in that way, because then you just start that defensive game and it doesn't get anywhere, but yeah. It's 100%. Yeah, it could definitely feel rude and hurtful to hear that sometimes. 

Rick: So speaking of comments, we did receive a comment on YouTube or a question. I believe it was a question, correct?

And we're going to get into that in a minute, but I do want to say that there [00:12:00] is a new feature that you can actually text us questions. Oh yeah. So if you go into our description. under any of the podcast platforms you're listening to us on, you can actually text us a question. There's a link in the description.

So check that out, send us questions, send us comments, and we will address them on this podcast. Is it on 

Veronica: any of the platforms? I thought it was just Apple. They all have 

Rick: them. They all have them. So 

Veronica: yeah, you can go ahead and ask us any question, make a comment, definitely do that. Or obviously, So you can do it on YouTube or we hang out on Instagram a lot.

So that's a great place to DM us as well. So today we're going to talk about why we should be vocal about our child free lifestyle. And obviously you and I are very vocal, super, super important. We're going to give you very specific reasons as to why this is so important. But if anyone listening or watching is not at the point where, yes, you just Shout it from the rooftops that you're a child free or maybe you still feel very uncomfortable when people ask you do you have kids If you're having kids if you're a woman out there experiencing that doubt and that concern [00:13:00] about child free life The doors to my program are still open for two more days It's called is child free for me, the essential guide to exploring child free life.

You can just go to is child free for me. com and book a free call with me and we'll chat. And I am telling you right now, I just graduated more people. It is an incredible, amazing experience and we want you to dance down this path with us. I just wanted to bring that up quickly because a lot of what we're going to talk about today really stems from the idea in having a lot of confidence with this lifestyle.

Rick: I love talking about it. It's so funny because I just met up with one of our community members. He just joined and then he DM'd me on our platform and was like, I'm going to be in Austin and I went and met him. His name's Abel. Shout out to Abel if you're listening. 

Veronica: He's amazing, such an 

Rick: amazing guy. We talked for like an hour and a half.

I met him at the hotel he was staying at and we just hung out in the lobby and talked for like an hour and a half. He's a great guy. Really great guy. 

Veronica: I was really, it's funny because I saw you after that [00:14:00] meeting because you were kind of cranky before because you were just dealing with some things in your head about something else completely differently.

And you came back from that meeting with like a smile and that. It just completely shifted your entire mood because the second I saw you, you were like the people in our membership community are incredible. 

Rick: They're amazing. I am not being biased. They are amazing. Everyone is kind. Everyone is open.

Everyone is loving and caring. Everyone is understanding. It is my happy place. I say that all the time. All of our members though are just fantastic and amazing. 

Veronica: Yeah, it's been incredible. And I know that you and I have talked about going to Las Vegas. We have so many members who live in Las Vegas now.

And we have two that just moved to Las Vegas from California. So we're going to definitely end up meeting up with them when we go out there. But I do want to get to Mark's question. Mark was the person on YouTube that asked us a very specific question. So I'm just going to go ahead and read it. Okay. So Mark says, Hey, Rick, Veronica, I want to know how you would respond to Respectfully tell your siblings [00:15:00] that you do not want the responsibility of watching their kids once they have them Because I'm not a fan of kids and I need your advice about this So weird thing about this world is that if you're a child free that?

Automatically means you should have all the time in the world to watch kids and your spare time And I love this because they don't even have the kids yet, and he's already wanting to just sleep Set it up, 

Rick: pile up some excuses to have them ready. 

Veronica: Like these, 

Rick: these, the list of excuses will buy me about a year.

So what else can I come up with? This is a, this is a tough one though. 

Veronica: Well, I don't really think so because I'm not looking at it as he needs to pile a list of excuses, right? Because you're just going to run out. I'm a big. I'm a big fan of just speaking your truth from the beginning. So then once your truth is said and it's out there, you're really don't have to keep making up these excuses.

Right? 

Rick: Here, let's roll play. Ready? I'm going to ask you to watch my kids and I want to hear what yours. All right. Here we go. Ready? 

Veronica: Okay. 

Rick: I'm calling you. Pick up. [00:16:00] Hello. Hey Veronica. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Something came up. I'm in a real pinch right now. Would you mind coming over for about three or four hours this morning and watching my children?

Go. 

Veronica: I love that you added a three or four hours in there because it's not even like really quick. I wanted 

Rick: it to be a heavy lift. Go ahead. 

Veronica: Okay. I'm going to try it. Oh, I am so sorry. That sounds really, really hard. I'm so sorry that you're in a pinch right now. Unfortunately, I can't go over there to help you because I just have so much going on and my plate is full.

But in the future, if I do have some free time, I will definitely let you know so that I can give you some support if that time comes. 

Rick: Wow. That was so responsible. Now do me and I'm going to tell you how I'm going to do my, 

Veronica: oh gosh, 

Rick: ready? 

Veronica: Go ahead. Hey, Rick. 

Rick: Hello. 

Veronica: Hey, Rick. How are you? 

Rick: Good. How are you doing today?

Veronica: Not so good. Things are [00:17:00] really crazy around the house and we were hoping that if you could just come over for a few hours, we're really needing help with the kids. As you know, they're not in school and I know that you work from home, so we have plenty of room here for you to use your laptop and just if you could just come over for a few hours because we need to run out of the house and we don't have anyone else to watch them.

Rick: You know, Becky, can I be completely honest with you? I never really expressed this to you. I am terribly irresponsible with children. And I don't trust myself to be around them. And I'm just coming clean because I have dropped the ball a lot just watching my friends kids. You don't want me around them.

It's something goes wrong for whatever reason. I'm kind of cursed as a babysitter. I am so sorry. Let me see if I can reach out to somebody else who might be available. That would be do a better job. Thoughts on that? That way, let me ask you why, let me ask you why I did it that way. They'll never ask me again.[00:18:00] 

Veronica: Actually, you know what? Let's workshop this. So I think that we can probably do a combination of both because the way that I said it, I could see someone like really trying to dive in. Like, what are you doing? What's so busy that you know, and just kind of giving more questions. So. I think that we can even add an example to yours and saying, I don't feel comfortable watching children because the last two times that I watched my friend's kids, they both were injured.

And one of them ended up in this. 

Rick: Oh, Jesus, Jesus. Just took it to a whole nother level. My God. That's a little suspect. They might be like, what? You know, maybe this guy's an aggressive babysitter. This 

Veronica: is what happens when I go over to your mindset zone. I 

Rick: know. Well, yeah, you take it to the next level and then you end up possibly getting arrested.

I'm 

Veronica: just going to stay in my lane because then if I go that way, I go 

Rick: way far. Yeah, you stay in your lane on the very calculated, thought [00:19:00] out, Nice response. And I'll stay on the my lane of the exaggerated truth, which is true. 

Veronica: Yeah, I just 

Rick: exaggerate my truth a little bit. But back to the question. This is a tough one.

But I think Mark, 

Veronica: we're gonna we're gonna continue to explore this. And even, you know, maybe some people out there will want to comment or send in their comments via that text feature that you were talking about about the answer to this and how they handle because I'm sure Plenty of people listening to this have siblings that have asked them to watch their kids now Let's just be clear that mark said very specifically that he is not a fan of kids.

So this is not about People commenting. Well, that's my siblings. Of course, I would watch them We're not talking about kindness and you know being there for one another we're talking about I do not want to do this I do not Like kids, I am not good with them. Therefore, what do I do? 

Rick: I want to get into today's topic.

I'm very excited about this one. Let's jump right in. 

Veronica: So yeah, back to why we should be vocal about our child free [00:20:00] choice. But I was thinking this morning to be vocal about our child free choice may require a shift in perspective to some of our friends who are listening because. Sometimes, especially if you've been harassed about this choice or about this lifestyle, we tend to quiet speaking about it because we feel like we don't need to justify it.

People get upset or angry or frustrated or they've had enough, so they keep quiet and nobody wants to open up. And be vocal about something that they feel that they're justifying. So I think that the shift, the mind shift in the perspective is not to look at it as you're justifying your choice to be child free, rather that you're educating others on your lifestyle.

Rick: I've witnessed that firsthand. When I talk about the child free connection, it's interesting because the first response I usually get from them is what you're doing, what, what is this? Why are [00:21:00] you talking about not having kids? What does that mean? So when I explained to him what our core values are, as far as what we're doing in the child free connection, they get it.

Veronica: We want to shout it from the rooftops because people are still very uneducated and in my opinion, it's worth it. If you have 10 people in front of you and everybody. about child free life and you get through to one or two people who say, Oh, wait a second. I was wrong about this. For me, it's worth it. And that's how the acceptance spreads.

So the first reason why it's important to be vocal about your child free life is that it tends to avoid uncomfortable or anxiety provoking questions. Because sometimes as child free people, you're And you know that it's looming. The question of, do you have kids? Why don't you have kids? When you're having kids is looming around.

So if you're very vocal about the fact that you don't have kids that you've chosen this life, either people already know they've heard, or you can just [00:22:00] bring it up in the conversation and you're not standing by and that anxiety is increasing with each second that goes by. Do you know what I mean? 

Rick: Yeah.

The way I bring it up, I'll say something along the lines of. Oh, my gosh, these kids are so great. I don't personally want kids, but these kids are just adorable, you know, so it's kind of you talk about how you don't want kids, but you're complimenting the kids around you. 

Veronica: Right, right, right. 

Rick: And it's a great way to just say, Oh, okay, they put you in that child free box.

They might not, they might talk about it, they might ask questions or they might not at all. So it's just a great way to just get it out there quick. 

Veronica: Yeah. I think my experience has been that the more that you get it out there front and center, the less that people start to question. But also this goes back to what we said just a few minutes ago is if you say it with confidence, right?

Because if you tell someone, well, I'm thinking that maybe. They're just going to go right in there and start questioning you and start making you feel [00:23:00] uncomfortable because they sense that doubt in you. So they think to themselves, Oh, this is someone who has not made up their mind. So let me just start being, let me recruit 

Rick: them to our side.

Exactly. 

Veronica: Right. Exactly. And it's up to each one of us to deliver whatever details we want or don't want. Yeah. 

Rick: And read the room too. You don't walk in and say, Hey, I'm Rick. I'm child free. 

Veronica: Yeah. And I think it should be pretty organic. It's nice to be able to just put it on front street when the conversation starts.

So this way you don't have to feel anxiety about it. 

Rick: And before we go any further, just really quick, just remember to rate, follow and review our podcast. It helps us get the message out there. Super important. I 

Veronica: love reading the reviews. I really appreciate them. So. Please, please go ahead and do that. It really makes us feel supported and it makes us feel like we're here for a reason.

So the next reason it's important to be vocal about our child free choice and our child free lifestyle is because that by being vocal, it clears up. All the assumptions and the [00:24:00] stigma about child free people, right? That there's so 

Rick: many, so 

Veronica: many that we're selfish, that we hate children, that we're all laying around doing nothing.

And this goes back to education, right? Because if we talk about it, people will know that we're child free and that we are just as crazy that I have to say this, but just as normal as they are. 

Rick: Yeah, stigmas are out there. They're running rampant within the child free community. And by the way, weren't you going to tell me a story about something that happened to you, a pull around this particular, 

Veronica: yes, yes, yes.

I'm glad you reminded me. Cause of course I would forget on 4th of July, we had a little mini pool party in our building. And as you saw, Rick, wasn't there very long. The, it got pretty crowded. Um, not, that's why I wasn't 

Rick: there very long. 

Veronica: Rick has an issue with credit pools, but there was quite a few kids there.

Our buildings doesn't have a lot of kids, but obviously people invite their guests over for the holidays. So we're all in the pool and it's funny because we've discussed this before about [00:25:00] having kids in a pool. We just did a reel about it last week on our Instagram. If you want, you can go check it out where whenever you're on vacation and you're trying to relax by the pool and you see a family coming with multiple kids, it just stirs up this.

Concern. Fear. 

Rick: Concerns. Anxiety. Depression. 

Veronica: That your very comfortable, quiet, peaceful day is about to turn. 

Rick: Come to a tragic halt. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 

Veronica: Obviously, we know this doesn't happen all the time, but it's just, I'm sorry, people think about it, because my friends who are moms have said the same thing when they see other parents coming with their kids, they also wonder, like, are these kids behaved or they're not, but anyway.

So we're at the pool, and it's very crowded, it's a holiday. Now, When it's this type of situation, you're at a family pool, it's crowded, or there's an event, there's a party. I expect going into contract into a public pool that I'm going to be splashed, right? I can't [00:26:00] say you need to keep your kids on that side of the pool.

And by the way, many of adults are also not behaving accordingly, right? Adults can completely be splashing you and getting in your way. So there was a mom there with three kids and they were. Splashing around me and the other people that I was hanging out with started having a conversation about that Just kids splashing pool and I explained my view on the whole thing not realizing that the mother Was behind me listening to my whole speech on I'm inside the pool.

It's a party. It's a holiday. I I can't imagine that a parent can keep their kid from splashing around when there's so many people in here. Fast forward, she ends up telling me later, because we end up having a conversation outside of the pool, that she really appreciated that from me, because there was two other moms on the other side of the pool that were complaining about her kid splashing.

We started getting deeper [00:27:00] into the conversation, and when she found out that I was child free, She was completely shocked that a child free person would look at the scenario in this way. So this has to do with what we're just talking about, that speaking up about our child free choice, because I tried to get it in there as soon as I could, that I do not have kids, can educate people and can clear the stigma that we're not all just hating children and don't want them around.

Rick: Absolutely. And to clear it up, the reason why I don't, I'm not making it about me. The reason why I don't like being in pools with lots of people isn't just necessarily the splashing. Cause if you ever, have you ever been in a pool, all of a sudden you start seeing all of the suntan oil. I know, start to raise up to the surface and then all of a sudden you feel it all over your body and then you get out and you feel slippery.

That's really gross. Kids get lubed up the most. 

Veronica: Yeah, of [00:28:00] course. I mean, it's not my favorite at all, but I mean, I wasn't going to just come upstairs. I was having a good time. I was enjoying myself, so I decided to stay, but I know it completely grossed you out, so I understood why you removed yourself from the situation.

Rick: Okay. So the next reason why being vocal about being child free is Very important. And this is a big one is it sets up honesty and clarity in your dating life. If you are single and you are dating, it is very important to be vocal in that situation. 

Veronica: This has come up. Extra. I mean, we've talked about it before.

It comes up all the time in our community, but I don't know what's going on. But the level of this conversation has heightened around our community, people on social media, the women that are entering my program, as far as just being on different pages. With the person that they're with, whether it's a boyfriend, a partner, a husband, it's just having very different feelings around [00:29:00] this topic.

And the reason it's important to vocalize it is because we want to avoid this area that is really, really sticky, really, really hurtful, really, really complicated. When two people want something completely different out of their lives, when it comes to having kids and not having kids. I actually had one of my program members in the last class get to the point where on her dating app She wrote child free and that was a really big moment for her That was a really big step because she wasn't confident prior to the program about her choice So she didn't know how to bring it up during a date.

She didn't know how to say it She didn't know how to express it and made her feel Feel less than when it came up, it made her feel anxious. So now she just put it on her dating profile. So people know right away. 

Rick: Yeah. If I had a dating profile, I would write, I would write underneath. 

Veronica: Yeah. 

Rick: Love kids. Don't want them.

I would say that on most first or second dates at the very least, I think the topic of children comes up pretty quickly. Would [00:30:00] you agree? 

Veronica: Oh, yeah. I don't even, I wouldn't even wait till the second one. I would just say how I'm feeling about it in the first one. I mean, if you're confidently child free and you are dating people, there's no reason why that can't come up.

And if you're talking to someone and they're just not mature enough to understand that you're just laying it out there as an FYI and they're taking it as you want to marry them tomorrow, then that's on them. That's probably showing some red flags there and potentially some signs of immaturity or a lack of emotional intelligence.

Rick: So, 

Veronica: yeah, super important to be able to do that. 

Rick: Yeah. I think just, you know, getting it out there as soon as possible in the dating scenario is best. I mean, the profile, putting that on your profile, if you're comfortable doing that is great. 

Veronica: The next reason why it's super important to talk about your child free life is that it opens the door for you to meet other child free people.

And I see this happening over and over and over again with examples from my program grads because they become really confident in their choice. And they start talking about it and [00:31:00] then they just randomly start meeting people, either at work or at meetups or in their neighborhood. They join our membership community and make friends there because oftentimes we just don't know if the person that we're sitting next to at work doesn't have kids either.

And specifically, I remember one of my program members saying that she was in a meeting, she's a teacher and all the departments were together talking and one person. saying, not that this was the topic, but just in conversation that they don't have kids. So she went up to this person after they realized they're both child free.

They're both happily and confidently child free. And then that just started a whole new relationship and a friendship with them. And that would have never happened if the woman wasn't confident enough to say it in front of the whole room. So it does open up the doors to. To friendship and just community.

Rick: Yeah. I was really surprised in a good way on how much of a bond you have with other child free people. I didn't expect that. [00:32:00] So not to get too spiritual, but what you put out into the universe tends to come back to you in a positive way. And I feel that about being child free. I never spoke about it, but the more I talk about it, for whatever reason, and not just through our membership community, the more people I'm meeting.

Yeah, that are child free. It's really strange. And I agree. The funny thing is, is how important it is for your health to build community, your, your health and your happiness, right? Because as we get older, we want our tribe, we want our community. We want that strong bond and it makes sense, right? Because it's such a powerful, big decision in your life.

You naturally gravitate. Towards people that understand why you may not have made that decision. You bond with them. Like I was saying earlier, that's probably my number one. I'm happy you saved that one for the last, because that's important to me. 

Veronica: I agree. There's definitely an energetic shift that happens when you start talking about it and people just start to flock your way and there's two things that happen, right?

Either you start meeting child free people that just pop out of the woodwork, or [00:33:00] like it happened for me. You start meeting. Start talking to parents who are interested in who you are as a child free person and what your viewpoints are, which means it brings you back to education. So I just think it's a complete win win across the board.

Like I said, the more that we talk about it, the better it is. And we definitely encourage everyone listening to continue doing that. It's really important to share your life story. Remember that it's not bragging. You're just sharing your everyday life. It's an exciting, happy choice that we have all made together.

And we should be able to say that we absolutely love it. 

Rick: Yeah. I really encourage people to open up and try to really talk about being child free and make good choices. Again, I come back to read the room. You don't want it to feel uncomfortable and just come out of nowhere. It has to make sense organically.

Veronica: Yeah, but I think normally it's going to work out just fine. And I also think that you would be completely surprised by the reaction you get, because oftentimes you're going to get a more positive reaction than you would have [00:34:00] imagined when you really started talking about it. So go out there, spread the message.

Exactly. And do it. Absolutely. All 

Rick: right. Well, this has been fun. I am happy. Your leg is feeling better. Uh, maybe you'll be able to go for a walk today in our new park that just opened up right next door. So we're very excited about that. Um, 

Veronica: it looks like Eddie needs to go out. So you need to pick up for now.

Rick: All right. We're going to do that. We'll see you next time. Thank you all. Bye.