Queerly Beloved, We are gathered here today for some juicy conversations about all things spiritually queer and clearly spiritual. I'm Sylvia will gather rainbow, a spiritual life coach retreat hosts with the most, and drag queens, and I'll be chatting with the most amazing folks are simply sharing some wisdom on my own. If you like what I'm serving, please remember to subscribe so we can keep hanging out. All right, let's get super woo together in this spiritual a queer a cosmic container and blast off. Hello Beloved's. I'm so excited to record this second solo podcast. This is a follow up to the first solo podcast, which was entitled allow me to introduce myself. And this episode is entitled, I am Silvia will gather rainbow. If we put those two together. What it sounds like is allow me to introduce myself I am Silvia will gather rainbow. And today's focus is telling you about my full chosen name. I am Silvia will gather rainbow. So let's get into it. But to get started, I want to explore what do I mean by a chosen name? And what's wrong with my given name? Why don't I just use that? To be clear, I really liked my given name. It's also pretty long, my full given name is William Charles Anthony Fisher. And I have no problem with people using any of those names. Most often, what that would sound like is Willie, for people who knew me when I was a child, because I was called Willie all the way up until the ninth grade or so, or will is what most people call me will with one L. However, my chosen name, I am Sylvia will gather rainbow is associated with different times in my life of spiritual growth. And in a sense, that name weaves together a bunch of stories that are marked stations of this growth. And so it felt right to use that full chosen name for the podcast, it being about spirituality. But I think I'll take it piece by piece telling each story of each part of my name. And then at the end, I can talk a little more about what it means as a whole. We'll start with the I Am. And I am came when I was doing a final ritual, after a three day, rites of passage combo ceremony, where me and a group of men sat with the plant medicine combo, three days in a row. And for those not familiar with that medicine, it's a medicine derived from the saliva of a very poisonous frog. And it is a medicine that is a clearing medicine, a purging medicine. So when you receive it, you very quickly because of the way it's administered, purge, and you purge a lot, and you purge in a way that you perhaps never purge before. So doing it three days in a row was definitely a rite of passage. And it serves as a way to clear out the parts of you that are not serving you to clear out any impurities, be they emotional, mental, spiritual, any types of things that are not true to who you are. This medicine, sort of like Pac Man moves through your system, and does what it needs to do to get it up and out. In any ways. A lot of times it looks like puking, but it could also be shooting or sweating or shaking, or any of the other ways that our body likes to purge energies. And in addition to this being a journey with the medicine, it also involves some really deep men's work that was beautifully LED. So the medicine man that we worked with was Edward duel. And the men's work was led by David Lesinski, two brothers who are very near and dear to my heart. And this happened shortly after the COVID bands were lifted up. And so it was one of the first times we collectively were gathering, you know, is one of the first times we were in real life with other people, for most of us because we had been isolated for so long. And the opportunity was one that not only supported us in clearing out these impurities, but also was supportive of cultivating courage within each of us. So traditionally, this medicine would be used by Amazonian warriors in preparation for hunts or or some kind of fight, and they would use this medicine to help right really tap into their courageous warrior spirit. And so similarly, we, as a group of men, were coming together to have this very intense shared experience. That was also, as I mentioned, a rite of passage, it was a opportunity for us to shift from who we were at the start of those three days into who we became, after taking this plunge into the depths of ourselves. And, in some cases, our fears and our limiting thoughts and beliefs that were holding us back the nature of the men's work and the challenging it scary feats, and the courage that was needed to move through those feats. There was a sense of this rite of passage, being an opportunity to step into manhood, and to shift from being Boys to Men, although it wasn't explicitly expressed or described like that, that was an experience that a lot of us had. And one of the things that came up for me was a realization that my father had probably not ever had a rite of passage into manhood, and perhaps his father never had as well. And that one of the things that I love so much about my father is his childlike energy. And being around him is just so fun and playful. And these are some of the strengths that I carry into my adulthood, I love being fun and playful, and being able to interact with any child, you know, very easily, because I can tap into that childlike energy. But But what I realized is that, in some ways, it came at a cost, because in some ways, my father had not really stepped into his manhood. And not that he wasn't a man, but he wasn't a man who was holding that masculine pillar. And this was likely because he didn't have role models who were doing that. And he didn't have a rite of passage opportunity, like I was having in this moment. And so in a sense, it felt like I was not only doing this for myself, but I was doing this for him, and perhaps his father, and any other ancestral lines that were above that as well. And so in the closing ceremony, we were gathered in this group, and we had to step forward across this threshold. And we were invited by Jackie dragon at Liberty arising to step through the threshold and declare our names. And when I was invited into that, it occurred to me that I had a choice around the name that I claimed that day, and what immediately came to me was to claim the name I m. And part of that came from knowing that I am is actually in my full name, William, but the deeper meaning was this claiming of my full potentiality my full possibility, that as simply I am, I am taking stand as the possibility of all things by claiming myself as I am, I was stepping into possibility consciousness around who I get to be and how I get to show up. So as I am, I can be I am strength, I am power, I am Joy, I am peace. And rather than feeling this attachment to an egoic identifier, I am gives me a more neutral, grounded Foundation, from which I can then claim whatever energy I am most aligned with in the moment. I am is also associated with my divine masculinity as a result of the context of that story and how it came into my life. Which is interesting because it's right up against the next word, which is Sylvia, I am Sylvia. Sylvia is associated with my divine feminine, and it is actually my drag name. So the first part of my drag name so my drag name is Sylvia London. Yes, thank
you very much. And Sylvia came the first time I was experimenting with a psychedelic, so is the first time I ever tried MDMA. And it was before I was on my spiritual journey officially, though I believe that we are always on it. Whether we're aware of it or not depends on our level of awakening. But I was definitely not as awakened. And I was experiencing this beautiful bliss. And this joy. And I stumbled on to this video game, and got to be in this bliss and joy while playing this video game. And I had chosen a character named Sylvia in this fighting game. And Sylvia had this long braid, and she would use it to whip her opponent, she would do like a weak whip is what we ended up calling it. And so I just really felt this power in Silvia and in playing that avatar, and felt really connected to it. And so Sylvia became my drag name. And it's a way that I tap into the power of My Divine Feminine. I also love that I get to share that name with Sylvia Rivera, who identified for most of her life as a drag queen, and was on the forefront of the Stonewall Inn uprising in 1969. And was a tireless LGBTQ activist, and it's very inspiring. So I love that I get to share that name with her. The will in my full chosen name connects me with my birth name, and most people call me will. And although I spell it with one L, because I'm queer like that, I do like the association of the word will, with will, as in willpower, will, as in the will to do something. It's this sense of determination, this sense of a calling that is being met. And there's something really powerful and firm ative about that word for me, I often like to think about God's will. And I pray that I am following God's will that I am serving the gifts that God wills me to serve. That's something I use in my prayers regularly. And so will is a really important part of my spiritual life as well. Moving along to gather So gather is my radical fairy name. And it originally came from a performance art piece called hunting gather, where I played the character gather. But the reason it stuck is because I do connect with that word gather. And I feel like it is my nature to gather people together. It's always been something that I've done in my life. And it's an important quality that I bring to group dynamics, where I am a champion for gathering for building community for matching like minded people in ways that they can connect and learn from each other and grow from each other. And so gathering is a big part of my spiritual journey. It's it has served me and my spiritual journey. And it is a big part of my spiritual purpose. As I find opportunities to gather GPT Q men for retreats, for example, or gather communities to come together to share songs and the healing that gets to happen in those spaces. And then finally, we make it to the word rainbow. So rainbow was gifted to me at a Nirbhaya, which is a traditional Native American ceremony or ritual that I was honored to get to participate at, in Tennessee. And I was on my spiritual path, but just in the very beginnings of it. And I got to participate in this. And I remember experiencing sweat lodge for my first time, and this beautiful ritual dance that without any aid of plant medicines or anything like that, we were having incredible, deep spiritual experiences. And they were experiences that I had never had before. And I was blown away by them. And I was moving through the world as a result of these direct connections with spirit that were taking place. I was moving through the world in this beautiful flow state of bliss. And I remember that day when I became rainbow or I was gifted that named rainbow. I had been swimming in the river nearby where we were having the ritual. And I was just walking through the forest so present and so grateful and feeling so blessed and so blissed out, and then I got to the dining area and there was a A elder to spirit elder named Laney, who was kind of coordinating the decorating of the space, because we were having some kind of celebration that evening. And so I volunteered to help. And I was streaming up these Christmas lights. And she looked at me and they were all different colors of the rainbow. And she looked at me and says, Oh, well, thank you rainbow. And so I'm sure it was meant to be a casual silly joke. But in that state I was in I received it as a naming. And I acknowledged that it in no way was a official naming like in the context of a Native American naming. But I received it as Lady gifting me with the name of rainbow and I asked her permission to receive it as a name. And she was happy to oblige. It was so casual and easy. And so I was so excited to be known as rainbow. And in different circles, I like to go by Rainbow. And Rainbow is significant to me. Because I believe that rainbows I present the spiritual harmony of all that is, in a sense, rainbows represent to me the highest vibration of spirit. And I love imagining myself sometimes weaving threads of rainbow, through things that are out of alignment or in lower vibrations. And I love being a champion for that highest vibration of spirit for that beautiful spiritual harmony of all that is. And so holding that name feels like a stand for that. And there's also something really beautiful and queer and light and loving and joyful and playful and childlike about going by the name rainbow. It also inspires me to dress with more colors, and to generally have a sweeter, happier approach to life, looking at the name as a whole. So for a long time, the name was I am will Silvia gather rainbow, almost like a question. And it was during a Ayahuasca retreat last March, that I came to reframe that and realize that it wasn't any longer a question that I will gather rainbow if that gathering rainbow is something that I do and will continue to do. And so when I talk about gathering rainbow, it relates back to this idea that I am gathering the highest vibration of spirit, I'm gathering the spiritual harmony of all that is. And again, when I gather as I gather, I am weaving these rainbow threads together to create something new. And so that's what the full expression of the name means to me is it is a claiming of my capacity, and my commitment to weaving through this world, these divine sacred spiritual harmonic threads of spirit. The other thing that's fun about having such a long name is that I'm delighted to be called by any of the pieces of that name. And so some people call me gather a lot of people call me Sylvia. A lot of people call me will most people call me Will. Some people call me rainbow.
I am I don't often get called. But I like to have it there. And I like how it completes this introductory sentence. Even though most people don't assume that it's part of my name. I think it's kind of playful and queer to have that silly aspect of my name being a sentence. And yeah, I just love having all these options. I love having the options for when I'm introducing myself to a new group. For example, I love having these options for people to pick and choose how they see me and to use the name that they see fit. And I love that the names each part of the full name connects me to these important moments of my spiritual life, where you go the story of my full chosen name in just under 20 minutes. I hope it was entertaining and interesting and allows you to get to know me a little more. So combining this episode Oh, with the first solo podcast episode, allow me to introduce myself. I am Silvia will gather rainbow. Thanks so much for listening. I'm excited about the possibility of folks listening to this whole podcast and choosing one of those names and using it to refer to me the next time I see you. And so with that, do you and I do look forward to dropping in with you in the next episode, a queerly beloved, much love. Oh, my God is beloved. What a joy it was to be with you today. Let's hang out again soon. Okay. And if you can think of a friend who would benefit from hearing this, please share it with them. Sending so much love and light to you today and every day. Until next time, peace