Imagine having a chat with your best friend, where every giggle reveals a deeper truth about life's big questions. That's exactly what unfolded when Hanna joined me for a heart-to-heart on Pockets of Time. We kick off with a game of Icebreaker Starter Cards that has us revealing what we'd ask our personal heroes and musing on hypothetical warning labels that could accompany our own exuberant personalities. It's not just laughs; we wade into the nuances of public perception and the ebb and flow of our inner energies. Join us as we peel back the layers of identity and find humor in the quirks that make us uniquely ourselves.
Shifting gears, we tackle a subject close to both our hearts: the environmental crisis. Hanna and I get real about the ways individual authenticity can build bridges and lead us to our tribe. Sharing our personal efforts to tread lightly on the Earth, we spotlight the power each of us holds to foster a healthier planet for the generations to come. Our discussion is a tapestry woven with personal anecdotes, a shared passion for green living, and an inspiring nudge for you to join the movement and live your truth.
But we don’t stop there; we delve into the sometimes gritty journey of personal growth, from the exasperation of city life's toll on our well-being to the transformative power of overcoming toxic influences. I open up about learning to embrace empathy and intuition in the wake of life's knocks and the ongoing pursuit of self-discovery. Plus, discover how a candid chat with my sister led to an epiphany on the art of active listening and just how much it can revolutionize our connections. This episode promises not just a window into our world, but a mirror reflecting your own path to peace, self-awareness, and the profound impact of truly listening.
Imagine having a chat with your best friend, where every giggle reveals a deeper truth about life's big questions. That's exactly what unfolded when Hanna joined me for a heart-to-heart on Pockets of Time. We kick off with a game of Icebreaker Starter Cards that has us revealing what we'd ask our personal heroes and musing on hypothetical warning labels that could accompany our own exuberant personalities. It's not just laughs; we wade into the nuances of public perception and the ebb and flow of our inner energies. Join us as we peel back the layers of identity and find humor in the quirks that make us uniquely ourselves.
Shifting gears, we tackle a subject close to both our hearts: the environmental crisis. Hanna and I get real about the ways individual authenticity can build bridges and lead us to our tribe. Sharing our personal efforts to tread lightly on the Earth, we spotlight the power each of us holds to foster a healthier planet for the generations to come. Our discussion is a tapestry woven with personal anecdotes, a shared passion for green living, and an inspiring nudge for you to join the movement and live your truth.
But we don’t stop there; we delve into the sometimes gritty journey of personal growth, from the exasperation of city life's toll on our well-being to the transformative power of overcoming toxic influences. I open up about learning to embrace empathy and intuition in the wake of life's knocks and the ongoing pursuit of self-discovery. Plus, discover how a candid chat with my sister led to an epiphany on the art of active listening and just how much it can revolutionize our connections. This episode promises not just a window into our world, but a mirror reflecting your own path to peace, self-awareness, and the profound impact of truly listening.
Welcome to Pockets of Time. I'm Chunky Panda. Dive in as we uncover those unexpected gems of clarity and inspiration, from mental well-being to light-hearted fun. We're all about growth and a positive mindset. Looking for a lift or some clear-headed insights. You're in the right pocket. Let's unravel the magic together. Welcome back, guys. I am so excited to be here with you guys today, and I also have my best friend here with me, hanna. Welcome to the show. Hanna, welcome to the show. I love it. Wait, where is it? Come on, guys, look at the claps.
Speaker 1:I know I was trying to. Why is it not working? This is so sad.
Speaker 2:We should freestyle wrap one here one day. I'm feeling it, it's coffee date, we're doing it yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, okay, okay Okay. We're getting super hyped here, guys. Today we're actually not going to be doing a traditional podcast episode. I got these super awesome cards Shout out to Autumn Barrier for the suggestion. I'm excited, but we have they're called Icebreaker Starter Cards, so question cards is pretty much what I was trying to say. But yeah, I think we might as well.
Speaker 2:Just dive into the deeper talk. Yeah, I like that. Let's go. I start at the shallow end, let's just dive in.
Speaker 1:We're just going to pull whatever comes out, guys.
Speaker 2:Great, here we go.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, all right, I'm going to ask you first, then, okay, I'm ready. Also, hanna, you want to say hi to everybody? Sorry.
Speaker 2:Hey everyone. It's okay, like, honestly, I was just feeling your vibe in the beginning that I was like, hey, coffee is kicking. All right, give it to me.
Speaker 1:If you met your hero, what question would you ask?
Speaker 2:Oh, I like that. If I met my hero, what question would I ask? Oh man, probably. Wow, that's a really hard one. That's harder than I thought it was going to be. The first question on the deep end. First I would have to decipher who my hero would be right and then figure out what I would ask that person. If it's like a fictional or non-fictional character, I don't know. Superman, where are you at? I feel like I would ask my super is that right? Superhero or just hero? Damn, I don't know. What do you think about that? I'm going to let you go first, even though you asked me, because that's like a tough one.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I would ask them how do you do it? Yeah, when I ever think of a superhero, it's like you have to try to balance everything else in your life to be able to be that person for others. So my question would be how do you find that balance?
Speaker 2:And could you teach me? Yes, that's a good one, Depending on what it is. I think that, also going back to what you just said, is how do you keep up with other people being able to or like that, like not necessarily facade, or like how do you keep up with that If somebody knows you have this hero strength or this hero ability and they see you and they perceive you some sort of way? How are you able to balance that with your everyday life?
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Because you can't be a hero 24 seven. It's just. It's like people look up to you and they're like wow, if you were Oprah, right, people are like Oprah and you get a, and you get a trip and you get a trip.
Speaker 1:Wait, that's, is that Oprah?
Speaker 2:That's Oprah.
Speaker 1:Okay, and you get, I don't know a book, Wait how many play stations do they have?
Speaker 2:I'm really embarrassed that I don't know that question. I think it's five, five, five you get a play station.
Speaker 1:five, five and a half, because I'm sure they're making it. They're making it all the way. It's on the way. It always is, for sure.
Speaker 2:Okay, do I get to pick the next one? Yes, all right, let's see, we're going to do it from the stack over here.
Speaker 1:I, think from the end.
Speaker 2:those are always good, All right. If people came with a warning label, what would your say?
Speaker 1:Oh, I like this.
Speaker 2:I already know what you're going to say. I already know I'm going to do this, okay.
Speaker 1:Lots of energy. Be careful, you got an energizer bunny on you guys.
Speaker 2:The battery's never to die.
Speaker 1:She's remain within five feet away, because she will make spastic movement.
Speaker 2:I love that I literally think it's nicer bunny on like 10. Yeah, I feel like people would have to know that being around Kelly, unless she's really tired, there's. No, these batteries are not dying anytime soon. Like you don't have to put them on a charger. And if I'm tired, I'm actually normal guy, exactly, you're just like what.
Speaker 1:Who is?
Speaker 2:this Sometimes. I'll talk to you and I'll be like wait, is something wrong. You're like girl, I just woke up, no, and then five minutes later like da-da-da-da-da-da.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's the one thing Matt had to get used to, because he was so used to me just being like, and then like when I'd wake up he'd be like are you okay? And I'm like, I'm fine.
Speaker 2:Everything's okay. And also because, when you have so much energy, if you're not like that the one time oh my gosh, are you okay, kelly?
Speaker 1:Is everything okay? Yeah, I was like I get tired too. Okay, you're like I get to have a damn day and it goes back to the superhero thing.
Speaker 2:It's damn like one day, when they're just not having it or something happened.
Speaker 1:They're just like chilled.
Speaker 2:I feel like those cards were like intermingled like perfectly, I don't know how we put that. The world is ending. If people came with a warning label, what would mine be? Oh my God, this is like really got me thinking today. I feel like mine would just be prepared to see all the beautiful things about yourself, because I will bring them out of you. Yes, I don't know if that's a warning or it's not really a warning. I want to say-. I will tell you like it is.
Speaker 1:I will say that for sure. You will definitely tell you will definitely tell people like, like it is, and then you will also challenge people as well as bringing out the best in people. So if you don't want, to challenge guys and you don't want to-.
Speaker 2:You don't want to grow Then someone hang out with me. Then you know, just Just don't Just stay clear, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, but you do it in the most like beautiful way possible. It's never like a oh you suck.
Speaker 2:It's always like a hey, try doing this way, or it's like a constructive criticism, but you almost want to bring out somebody else's strength that they didn't even know that they had.
Speaker 1:You make a suggestion so that it becomes their idea. That's the better way to describe how it is that you work your magic. Yeah, 100%. But what if you are my superhero and I want to ask you a question?
Speaker 2:You know what?
Speaker 1:Right back at you.
Speaker 2:Right back at you.
Speaker 1:All right guys.
Speaker 2:Next card.
Speaker 1:When have you spoken out? When have you spoken out when it would have been easier to say nothing? Yes, okay, say that one more time, sorry. When have you spoken out when it would have been easier to say nothing?
Speaker 2:When have I spoken out? I can't remember like a specific time, but I do know there has been multiple times in my life where someone's done something wrong and maybe nobody else would say anything about it. I'm just trying to think of what scenario, but there's definitely been a couple times where, hey, actually like that was wrong. Has there ever been like a distinct like situation that you've been in so?
Speaker 1:for me, I feel like there's it's never easy to speak out, it just never is a lot of cases in a sense, but I think for me it's the one thing that I cannot tolerate is bullying. That's the one thing that I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable, I don't care if people hate me for it. But I've been bullied when I was younger and I know that feeling.
Speaker 1:And it's this helpless thing where you're just like what did I do to the world? And I never want anyone to feel that way. So I'm always like no, I was like you guys are fucking wrong. And even in management, even in whatever it is, it's gotten me in like tough spots before, but that's like. The one thing I cannot tolerate is like when someone is bullying and it's like a group of people bullying one person, that, oh that irritates me.
Speaker 2:And it like, and also like we were talking before the mics were on. But it's one of those things when you like speak up for people that aren't even there, that is the best. And then you have that like confidence, knowing that person doesn't even need to know that I took up for them, but I said something when probably other people wouldn't. If you're in a group setting and somebody's talking shit or talking about something and you're like actually that's not the case, or actually I was there or something instead of letting them go with the notion, thinking that they can just say whatever they want about somebody, it's actually and especially if I actually know this person
Speaker 1:and I know this person is a kind person and I know that their intent was never this way, and I hate when people try to misconstrue situations to fit their narrative.
Speaker 2:Narrative yeah, exactly, yep, so true, you didn't answer though.
Speaker 1:Wait. Oh yeah, was that your answer? Yeah, sorry, I was like wait, wait, wait, how many?
Speaker 2:Hold up a minute Sometimes. Kelly and I do this thing where we like speak for each other, so when you go, I feel like I really just went.
Speaker 1:So that's what it is.
Speaker 2:Oh, there's different color cards Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I've just been pulling from.
Speaker 1:The yellow.
Speaker 2:What do you know about life that few others have figured out? Oh, I love this question. I love this this is another thinker, that is not about you.
Speaker 1:It is not about you.
Speaker 2:I was literally. See, I'm telling you she just answered for me. I'm telling you that was literally it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I feel Do I have to burp? No, I'm good. Oh, there it is. Excuse me, that is not about you. I feel like a lot of us just go through life thinking it's once you realize that, hey, I am not the victim in this situation and it's not against me and people aren't attacking me. You live your life with so much peace and so much grace.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And also you understand that a lot of the times people can't help it and they just they're going through some shit that they can't handle. They don't know how to have a better. What is it Outlet? So it becomes whoever comes encounter with them so. I think that has been my saving grace for a lot of things and that's also helped me get through, and also it's helped me with being happy and just living in my present moment and for what I know, yes, and I love that.
Speaker 2:I'll touch on that too, because with my answer I was going to say we live in our head 80 to 85% of the time, sometimes 90. Sometimes we make up these scenarios in our head that it's like, oh, I feel like this is this. I feel like that person's out to get me, I feel like they did this because they're trying to get under my skin, and you're just like, no, that's all in her, that's all in her head. And until we realize that, like most of the things that we make up in our own head, that's not reality. It's made up.
Speaker 2:But if you take yourself out of that and put yourself on the other side of the table, you're like, okay, wow, maybe, just maybe that person isn't trying to do that to annoy me, or maybe they didn't post that thing to make me think it was about me or whatever it is. That is 90. I would say 85 to 90% made up in our head. Yep, so I think that once you take yourself out of that, you really get to just take a deep breath and almost realize those are my thoughts. Those aren't actuality. There's not, they're not real. It's just what is in my head. Yeah, and we live in our head.
Speaker 1:Yes, and we create that prison for ourselves 100%. This was like the second card that I pulled earlier and I was like I haven't read it yet. So how do you prevent missed?
Speaker 2:opportunities. How do you prevent missed opportunities? I would say by always doing, always going, always saying yes.
Speaker 1:Always.
Speaker 2:So I'll be honest like this year was the or I should say the end of 2023 was the first year that I have said the most yeses in my life in the last 10 years, easily, and the reason for that is because I would have my everyday work, go home, hang out with my dog.
Speaker 2:I was scared to surround myself with people because I felt like the more people integrated in your life, the more drama, the more trouble, the more whatever. I'm so okay with my little comfy space of like just me and my dog at home that I was like I don't want to be out and about it like almost made me anxious and like for somebody who's so social to have that social anxiety almost which is weird for me to say out loud but to like almost have social anxiety. Sometimes I get wrapped up in it. And then I realized I'm like no, I need to start saying yes because I'm missing out on so much out there that I could. I've met so many cool people I've been like it's almost like I've been that person before. And then I like sheltered away from it because I was like I'm just going to be a little hermit.
Speaker 2:And then, once I got, out of that I was like more opportunities and more doors open up, the more that you say yes, not saying that you have to say yes to the things that Align with you. Align with you If you say yes to things that don't, that's different. But I definitely think saying yes more to things Maybe that there's something somebody invited you to do and you're like I don't really want to. And if you really don't want to because it's something you would never do and that's just not your thing, don't go. But if it's something like oh, I've always wanted to, let me try it out. And then you do it and you realize wow, yeah.
Speaker 2:I just had the best time my life done. You got me to go out to a freak.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got her out guys to go watch audience, shout out to audience and it was amazing.
Speaker 2:And I was like wow, I would have totally said no and like just stayed at home with my dog, I gave you no choice because I bought the ticket.
Speaker 1:She bought the ticket and I was like that was a good friend move honestly.
Speaker 2:And then I went and I was like, wow, Kelly, I had the best time. I cried about it. I had the best time with you guys.
Speaker 1:I have so many pictures from that night where I'm like. God, this was a really good night guys, it was yeah.
Speaker 1:It was so good. So what would you say is your answer for that? By being your most authentic self. Yes, I can't even tell you how many random opportunities I've had by just not even thinking about it. You know what I mean Not calculating, not whatever, and just showing up as my best self every single day. The current job that I have now with Carmen with House of Healing has been a blessing and it's like crazy because I've known her for years and we weren't like close throughout the years, but one day we just were like she's just all the way that I moved, I liked her energy and we got together and boom.
Speaker 2:Here we are, and even like with you it's.
Speaker 1:If I didn't, if I wasn't being myself and I didn't come up and say, hey, do you? I don't think we'd be friends.
Speaker 2:What's really cool is when you find a friendship, or when you find your people, or when you just allow yourself to be your authentic self you find other people who are the they're authentic selves. Sometimes you and I deal with the stupid shit where I'm just like I can't do that with just everybody, Cause you get to show up how you are.
Speaker 2:And sometimes other people don't know how to take that, sometimes other people. But also being that light, right, yes, being that light to where? Hey, like I want people to feel comfortable in my company, to be themselves yes, that's a huge thing. You know that if you do something crazy, even if it's a Kelly thing, you're like Hannah's not gonna judge me, because this is me, she knows this. I show up as my authentic self and I think that is such a beautiful place, cause not everybody can get there, but once they do, they're like wow, awesome.
Speaker 1:And it just feels so freeing and, like I said, there's so many of the same kinds of people trying to be trying to fit like a certain mold. That's not what everyone's looking for. So when you stand out by being yourself, because that's the best thing to do, there's nobody else like you.
Speaker 2:There's no one.
Speaker 1:People see it and they're like oh, I like that person. I'm actually pretty curious about that. I think that he or she might be really good at X, y and Z by just watching from a distance.
Speaker 2:And I think too, like sometimes we have this kind of preconceived like way of I guess maybe some people are put in environments and they soak up their surroundings, right. And then what happens when they soak up their surroundings is when they're by themselves. Left by themselves, they're like who am I? Cause they soak up everybody's stuff and they sit by themselves and they're like I don't even know who I am, and that's all the impacts out there.
Speaker 2:Or when they hang out with one person at a time and they almost take on that, and I think in a sense we all do that right Because, say, I might feel it's easier for me to be really silly around you that it is versus somebody else or whoever, but that just shows you like how you feel around that person. Wow I feel safe to be able to explore those parts of me Cause, if not, sometimes you feel a little stuck and then it just.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it can be scary because you're just in your head about it too.
Speaker 2:I feel that. Next one. What have we not done yet, is it? Oh, it is you. Huh, it's like Kelly's trying to take my turn Trying to take my turn Okay.
Speaker 1:Her laugh is the cutest, so red card.
Speaker 2:Okay, wait, this is too. They're thick. Yeah, the yuck, Sure thick With three suits. What should we be doing to save the planet for our grandchildren Not just our children, our grandchildren. So fast forward yourself a little bit. What do you?
Speaker 1:think Thop chopping down the trees. I feel like we just keep cutting down the forest and it just gets slimmer and slimmer and we're just going to have so much buildings and no greenery. And trees help with oxygen. You get food off of trees, but yeah, I think we need to stop cutting down the trees.
Speaker 2:I love that you went for land, because I was going to go for sea with all the plastics and everything. I think that it's crazy. Also, what should we do?
Speaker 1:We will finish what you're going to say oh, I was just going to say we just need to stop cutting down the forest and taking better care of it, because how many more buildings are we going to have? And I feel like we're losing that spirituality of land, like you said earlier. And it's nice to be able to take your dogs to walk in, like a nice little park or just to put your feet into the ground, and it's grounding sometimes. Yes, absolutely Love that, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know that's so true. But yeah, for me I would say plastics. Not that I'm like one to talk, because I don't like actually remember to recycle, but it definitely just like the use of plastic, If we can use something that's reusable. I can't tell you how many bottles that I would save just to try to reuse those bottles again instead of just like those like bigger, like leader bottles. Everybody throws those away after one use. I'm like I get like 10 uses out of that.
Speaker 1:Then you also see people who do like crazy shit where they're on their driving and you just see a fucking can just coming out of their window and like a bottle and I'm like, is that?
Speaker 2:necessary. Oh my God, I was driving on the way to work. I got so irate. They probably shouldn't have made me this bad, but it did. This guy is carrying a Gatorade bottle. First of all, his pants are like super, like dragon, really low, and he's got one hand on his pants and he's like walking down. He like goes to, like he has this Gatorade bottle, he took the last sip in it and he just throws it on the ground and he continues to walk and I was like what?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that bothers me, I'm just so upset I was like this is our, like we live in such a beautiful. It's just it's crazy to me that people will just take that shit for granted.
Speaker 1:Man, it's like wild to me or it's would you treat? Actually, some people might treat their house like that, but it's like. For the most part it's like would you treat your mom's house like that Would you treat your dad's house like that?
Speaker 1:It's no, it's like why are we treating outside? It's a privilege to be able to go outside and have fresh air. You never know what's gonna happen in the future and those are things that we're gonna look back and be like damn. I really missed that one time that I was able to look at the green trees and breathe outside and just sit outside and enjoy the sun.
Speaker 2:That's why like city air is so different. City air is very like, toxic, polluted, like just very you ever go in the outskirts or anywhere else and you like breathe in the air. You're like I went to New York, I love New.
Speaker 1:York. It's fun, it's great. I just could never live there because I feel like it's like you get sick just walking around. It's like the air that like there's so many people.
Speaker 2:It's so stagnant.
Speaker 1:Yes, so stagnant. So for me, I'm just like I can never just live there. I just I want. When I get back into the in my brother's place, when we were up there staying, I was like I got a shower ASAP, like I just I can't even.
Speaker 2:It's like when you go shopping and you're like touching things and you're like I want to go home and wash my hands.
Speaker 1:It's like you walked out of like a smog, like a cloud of whatever I don't know. That's tough.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:Props to people who live there. It is tough sometimes. I feel like the air is a lot thicker. I can feel the difference. I'm just thinking about it and I'm like yeah, but then it's crazy to me, because the people that have been there, that's their norm.
Speaker 2:I know they come here in their life. Yeah, they're like what is happening? It's so wild. What's your next color? Do you want a different color? Is that green?
Speaker 1:I'm just going to pull from this middle part. What's your instinctive reaction when someone or something hurts you?
Speaker 2:Why like this one? I used to? I was just I just talked about this on my store the other day, tee hee, I used to get if something upsets you, or it was.
Speaker 1:What's your instinctive reaction when someone or something hurts you?
Speaker 2:So, going back to taking it personal, I used to take it personal. Now you know what I do. Take the mirror, shine it to that person, right?
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I, instead of looking at me in the mirror, I'm looking at whatever this person did to hurt me. It's really saying something about them. Don't take it personal, because nine times out of 10, it was something about them that they either couldn't stand or they didn't like about themselves, that they tried to portray on to me. If it's something like that, it could be something where let's say they intentionally hurt me and I know they intentionally hurt me. I used to get upset and I used to get angry and I used to really let it get me down. And now I'm just you almost brush it off quicker because you're like, I'm at peace with who I am and what I am. So I'm not letting anybody shake me like that or anything, depending on how like, to what degree, but I would say that yeah, yeah, I think for me, I start asking questions, I analyze.
Speaker 1:You know what it is. Maybe they had this shit day, or maybe they just have a lot going on, or, and for the most part, I'm a lot more receptive to energy than I was before and I'm able to read it easily. Then, when I was younger because before I was just like I don't know what I'm doing I'm like, oh, fuck you too. Now I'm just like damn, like I can feel the chaos, like in your bubble or whatever. And I know that sounds weird because people like, what do you mean? But energy is a real thing. Okay, guys, it's.
Speaker 2:I can feel it before you say a word.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so for me it's I ask. I usually ask like in my head and I have a whole conversation with myself If I wonder what this person's going through. Damn, that sucks, and for the most part I just typically wish them well. If it's something like intentional, I'm just like that's. Thank you, a universe, for showing me that person.
Speaker 2:Not for me, yeah, and.
Speaker 1:I think that my biggest lessons in the past, like a couple years, have always been let go of people. Stop holding on to people. The idea yes, and when they show you who they are. Realize that and don't let it slide because we ignore things.
Speaker 2:They're like a way too much.
Speaker 1:But yeah, but we ignore it too many times. We ask for signs, all the, we ask for signs and it's. If you don't recognize it and you don't see it for what it is, then you're just gonna be repeating it over and over again.
Speaker 2:But yeah, that's my way, yeah, hmm, I like that. Okay, I love these cards. These are great. Okay, what part of your life have you still not figured out? Oh man, wow, I like this, these and these are really good parts part of my life.
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm always trying to figure it out. I feel like just when I think I got it, I don't have it, and so it's like a question that's always gonna be a question in my life, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:But as far as right now, all I know is I'm doing the best that I can, chasing everything that. It is that not chasing, but pursuing is the better word. Words are very important, guys, so be careful with what you say and how you use your words, because Psychologically, you start to believe whatever comes out of your mouth. So I'm pursuing everything that I've always wanted to do. I'm learning all the things that I need to learn or I want to learn, and I feel like it's just life, is just that growth, and always like being curious and always moving. It's one thing to be curious, but it's another thing to be stagnant. So, moving and being curious so yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say for me it's funny because I've had this conversation not too long ago you ever look at your life at the age that you are and then think I thought I would be somewhere totally different. Right, I think we all have done that, yes, and you realize, whoever came up with that shit? Who came up with that? Like you're supposed to married, have a house, this and that by 30? What? No, absolutely not for me. I would say, where I thought I'd be in life Might have been different, but also, I'm so happy with where I'm at in life, I'm so happy with the journey that it takes the good, the bad, the ugly. I actually I'm actually somebody who really have has. I've really learned to enjoy this shit part of life as well, because it teaches you so much about yourself and it makes me so happy to be like some. Sometimes people don't even know what you're going through and you're like I just got out of that shit and I'm proud of myself because nobody even realized it, because I didn't let it shake me. Yep, and it's like For me.
Speaker 2:I think that would be something that I'm always trying to figure out is what's next right? It's just stop being. It's that preconceived. What do you think you should do versus what do I actually want to do, not what you think you should have by 30, 31 to 32, 35, 40. What do I want to do?
Speaker 1:and that's why it's so important and imperative for you to stay in the present. We do this all the time. We're like, oh, I should be here at this time, and it's have you even met a partner to be married, do you?
Speaker 2:want to just get married. Just to get married, though.
Speaker 1:Do you want a baby at this age? Are you in a relationship? Are you engaged? Are you happy?
Speaker 2:That's so many people want relationships, and you know what my biggest thing is have you done the work for yourself first To be in a relationship, because if you haven't, don't, be in a relationship.
Speaker 1:Don't pull somebody into your shit, my thing is when you want something, that's when it's not a good thing.
Speaker 2:It's.
Speaker 1:I don't want to call it desperation, but it's yes you're just, but when you're and it always it happened to me. Where I was so into myself I was like fuck, yeah, I'm gonna rule the world, I'm gonna go do this by myself. Then I ran into somebody and I was like fuck. But I'm so happy but it, but those are the relationships that usually blossom whenever I feel like you're looking for something.
Speaker 2:You have a tendency to get into something need when you don't need, and then you find yes, and you can keep it. Long yes, because you don't need it, you want it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you're not missing something within yourself that you're seeking in somebody else, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Is it me? Yeah, it's you. We should do ASMR. We'll do like a night, Chloe. Was it Chloe? Courtney Kardashian to that recently? Oh yeah, and I was like I would listen to that before I go back.
Speaker 1:I was drinking my water, oh my stirring my coffee so it's gonna be listening to this. Okay, what do you know better than anyone any else? What? What do you do better than anyone else? What do you do better?
Speaker 2:Hair. Just kidding, I'm kidding what? What do I do better than anyone else that I know? That's such a why are they asking? Why are these cards asking us to be a little vain? This doesn't count for you, because we're the same. Okay, just so you know Making other people feel good about themselves. I feel like you do the same thing, obviously.
Speaker 2:It's one of those things where, if it's talking about an actual thing that we're doing, I don't know, that's really hard. Being compassionate, mmm, I would look at it instead of the thing that I would do. Yeah, maybe being compassionate. Okay, your turn.
Speaker 1:Being myself. Yeah, because nobody can do that. I feel like that's the answer that everybody should have.
Speaker 2:I feel like I was overthinking that question and you said that and I was just like duh.
Speaker 1:Because I was thinking, I was like there's nobody can be you better than yourself. But I think for me it was like I who does everything, who anybody can do anything better I was just like I literally sat there and I while you're talking. I was like I like it. I like it, I'm twitching and everything and I was like I myself. Yes.
Speaker 2:I think so you know what that needs to be a topic on its own.
Speaker 1:Yes, I like that. I like that a lot and everything you said is literally who you are anyway. Yeah, you pretty much answered it in the same way?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just worded it in a different manner, like that what color card was that? Okay? What beliefs would you want to pass on your children or grandchildren leaves? This is a good one. You can't go wrong here, I feel like, because these are your own beliefs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see, there's a lot of things I would say. I would also go back to the. It's not about you. That would probably be something that I would tell because, like I said, that's been my saving grace through a lot of things, of not being upset at people, not being angry at people, that there's no one else like them out there. There is nobody else like them out there. Yeah so they don't have anybody to compete with. Yeah, you can't compete where you don't compare To just be a good person to just be a good person.
Speaker 1:That karma is a real thing. Yeah, Karma is a real thing. Some people see it a lot more quicker than others. I can definitely tell you that when I do something silly, I can see it right away and I'm like oh no.
Speaker 2:Have you ever somebody's done something bad to you before or just like something, somebody's done something bad in general and you're like karma, I'm just gonna let it. I'm gonna let it play out, I am such a firm believer You're just like, it's gonna come around, it's fine.
Speaker 1:No, I'm a firm believer in that and for me it's yes, people will get it and you're not going to know when it's going to happen. It might be 10 times worse, it might be three times worse and you might not even be there, but the moment you put your hands into it, you are a part of that karma. That's the whole point. It's like a test for yourself, within yourself, exactly, and I just believe source whoever, whatever you guys believe in, that they see all and things will always turn out how it's supposed to be. And maybe, hey, they're putting that person through a test and that's their own journey to figure it out, and what they do from here is what will be decided. But, yeah, I like that. So don't get your hands dirty, guys. It's not worth it. Don't get your hands dirty.
Speaker 2:So this was let's see what beliefs would I pass on to children. I would say, wow, probably, maybe a belief. I didn't know if I was going to go really religious or spiritual with this, but if not, I would say something more like along the lines of like you are not what happened, what's happened to you. I have seen so many people that have been dealt with the shittiest of shittiest cards and they have turned out to be something really freaking great. And then I see other people that are like poor me. I would never want my kids or grandchildren to be like oh, I'm a product of my past or my upbringing, or this or that or whatever. You can't put that on anyone else. Somebody could really have a shitty upbringing, but you can decide to make something of yourself. You can decide to turn that into something positive. You can decide to be a better person because of it and not go with the narrative Like you have to be the same way, and I think that just something as simple as that.
Speaker 1:But just knowing that there's always a choice, always. All right, we're going to make this the last one.
Speaker 2:Hey, my gosh guys. The last one. I love these cards. Don't you feel like there's five? I know.
Speaker 1:I'm like what the heck Describe an argument you had that helped shape the person that you are today.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I have one. My sister and I love her to pieces. We used to always get in these arguments when I talk on the phone with her. This is the first time I came to mine and we talk on the phone here and there and usually every morning, every other morning, and we have conversations and she used to tell me sometimes like before she get off the phone, she's like you're such a selfish person. And I was like whoa, like somebody calling me selfish. I was like I feel like I'm the furthest thing from that. What are you talking about? And I'd be like what do you mean? She meant selfless. Yeah, I'm like you said that wrong.
Speaker 2:But my sister like really hurt my feelings one day and it was a much needed thing to get my feelings hurt Because she told me like I was selfish and I got off the phone. I was like what? I was upset because for me, I'm like I care so deeply for people, I love people so freaking hard that I'm like how could somebody ever call me selfish? I feel like I give. And then I called her back because it bothered me and I said what did you mean by that? And she goes on the phone. You don't ask about like, how my day was. You don't ask about me. She was like a lot of times you just have you tell me, like your life, what's going on. I'm like that's not fair. You have kids at home and this and that, and I like I say that my dates changes from day to day, like everything so vastly different. And she goes, but you don't ever stop and think to ask me like oh Leah, what about you? And in that moment it was like boom, I need to be more self aware of. I might tell people how great my day was or I might unload shit on them. And then I don't realize we got an argument about it because I was like I'm not selfish, I've been selfish and we're going back and forth and I'm like I love my sister so much, why would I ever make her feel like I don't care?
Speaker 2:And then it was a self realization for me to really sit in my thoughts and be like Hannah, you actually don't like being real with myself and being like this was a big turning point for me. Hannah, you have to be real with yourself and be like you don't always ask people stuff. And now I do. I'm so much better at it. I want people to talk about themselves first and I go second. Yeah, and I've learned that. And in doing that it's I listen more instead of just talk more yeah, which is really cool. And I want people to feel validated. I want people to feel heard. I want people to feel I'm understanding them.
Speaker 2:That conversation with my sister I'll never forget, because had it not been for that and really taking the time to sit down and be real with myself, I would have probably been like, no, I don't ever do that. I did, I did do that, yeah, and I use. And then I realized how much I've done that with other things, like my clients. They sit in the chair and I talk about myself and I'd be like, oh my God, how was your day Now? It's totally different. So I feel like I needed that.
Speaker 1:Self realization. I love that's beautiful and I love that you're able to be face-fronting with it, because a lot of people wouldn't even till this day. They'd be like I'm not out of here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, I just have some of this, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think in my case it's similar to yours, but it's more of now. I'm a lot more aware, but obviously probably because of that. But it's being aware of where people are at their emotions and asking, before I make the assumption of whatever it is that I have in my head of oh I asked you do this and you didn't do this for me and I'm upset. It goes back to did you know that I had a shit day at work, that I was going through a lot, that?
Speaker 1:I'm also on the verge of having to fire whoever and it's for me, it's I'm like damn, I didn't even. I was so wrapped up in my own world that I didn't even think to ask or realize, yeah, I've done that too.
Speaker 2:There's just like a wrap things up. I basically have had to get in the better line space of before I just unload my shit on somebody. Hey, do you have mental capability to take that on right now? Because if I don't ask you when you're already having a shit day and I make it even worse, I'm going to feel so shitty and I don't want to do that to anyone. Yeah, I might not always remember to ask, but I'll gauge like hey, where are they at right now? Hey, you're having a good day. Am I going to make it worse by telling you my shit day? Am I going to like it? Yeah, or are you okay to like? Take that and help me carry that load? Because I will say this I heard something.
Speaker 2:This was actually the one time I went to church and like forever. But there was this one thing that it was like it was a really cool thing. This guy was wearing a backpack and if you can just visualize this for a second, this guy was wearing a backpack and I had a shit ton of weights in there from the gym.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And he, this guy, could barely hold this backpack up when he's walking across the stage and people would ask him along the way hey, are you good, are you good? And he's no, I'm fine, I'm fine. Every time he said he was fine, he added another weight to the bag and then it's all these people along the way are asking him hey, how's your day going? Are you good? Hey, are you struggling with it, are you okay? And every time you say I'm fine. And then they put another weight in his bag and then the weight of the bag got way too heavy for him, that it like fell and all the weights fell out and everything. Then he's trying to put everything back and then he's crying and this, and that it was like a reenactment, right. He's crying and this, and that he's putting all these weights back in his bag and they're heavy. These weights are like super heavy.
Speaker 2:And then somebody comes along, open his bag and was like what is wrong? I don't have any bags that I'm carrying right now. Let me help you carry yours. I thought that was such a beautiful thing, because it's sometimes you need to just unload your shit on someone and be like hey, let me help carry your bag because maybe mine's sitting over there. I don't have to carry mine right now. Let me help carry yours.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, something to symbolize, just a little food for thought.
Speaker 1:No, I love that, but you're definitely very aware and for me it's. You're always like I'm sorry and I'm like girl, don't be sorry. I was like we take turns and what's fine, but I always feel like it's more of a venting and you're always trying to figure it out. It's never like a oh, poor me. Let me just call and tell you the situation 10 times every single week, instead of trying to like. There's a difference between working through it and just wanting to be looking for that attention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, so yeah, I agree. Yay, I like those cards.
Speaker 1:But yeah, guys, we did it. I don't know how many cards we read through, but I feel like they were all pretty insightful and maybe you guys could take this and use them as journal prompts, journal prompts, or if you guys want to share your answers with us, we would love to hear it. But yeah, thank you for joining us today and we will see you next time, and we love you. Bye, bye, bye.