Why Can't I Stick With Anything? Failing At Motivation

Are you struggling to stick with your goals, whether they're financial, physical, or professional? You're not alone—join me in a conversation where I share my personal experiences with lack of motivation and reveal how I overcame it by choosing dedication over motivation. Discover the importance of identifying your "why" and how setting smaller, achievable goals can help build momentum and increase your chances of success.

But that's not all—let's dig deep into the powerful role that fear can play in holding us back from achieving our dreams. We'll confront fears of failure and success, with tips on recognizing these fears, writing them down, and facing them head-on. Plus, learn about the impact of mental health issues on motivation and the importance of seeking help when needed. Together, let's embark on a journey toward becoming the smartest, wealthiest stylists we can be.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome to the smart, wealthy stylist podcast. I'm your host, emily Cardin. Over here. We're dedicated to helping hairstylists manage their finances, stay organized, healthy and manage their time and mental well-being. We focus on staying healthy in all areas of life and maximizing productivity. If you're a hairstylist looking for these things, then this is the podcast for you. Together, we'll avoid burnout and step into being the smartest, wealthiest stylist that we can be. Hello, welcome back to the smart, wealthy stylist podcast. Today's episode is going to be over.

Speaker 1: 0:39

Why can't I stick with anything? You know having a lack of motivation and whether it's financial, physical. You know goals you've set behind the chair. Why can't you stick with it? Why can't you find the motivation to just keep going and reach those goals? I've came up with a list of things that I personally struggled with and then, after doing quite a bit of research, found out that so many other people struggle with that also. You know, there could be a number of reasons why you struggle to stick with certain things. It could be due to a lack of motivation or interest, a fear of failure or success. There's underlying mental health issues, or simply not having a clear enough goal or plan in place. It may be helpful to identify the specific reasons why you have difficulty sticking with these things and then work on addressing those underlying factors. Also, setting smaller achievable goals and celebrating progress along the way can help build momentum and increase your chances of success.

Speaker 1: 1:45

So, for me, the biggest one was lack of motivation. I always felt, like you know these early morning workouts, i get up at four every day. There has been, you know, maybe three weeks since January that I have taken off to just reset, sleep and get rest, because I know that rest is equally as important for your body as working out and being productive and all those things. So when it came to lack of motivation for me, i had heard a quote that said dedication over motivation, and what that meant for me was that, by deciding what you want to do and sticking with it, you're deciding for yourself to dedicate whatever your goal is and reaching it. You can reach your goal and on those days that it gets super, super hard and you just really don't want to, you have to say, okay, this is my why, this is why I have to do this and I am choosing myself and I'm going to reach my goal. I have decided and dedicated myself to this journey and it's not about motivation, because motivation goes away. There's a lot of times where you aren't going to feel motivated. That's when your big why comes in and you have to say this is my why and I am going to reach my goal because I'm dedicated to myself and I'm dedicated to my vision. You have to figure out what your why is and stick with it. And on those hard days, speak positive to yourself and choose. You Choose to finish what you started and when you feel like you just can't do it anyway, having your why is so super important because it will pull you through all the different phases of your journey. It's exciting in the beginning and you're going to reach your why and you're just super pumped. It goes into wow, this is taking a long time. This is a lot harder than I thought. It would be a lot easier to give up, but as long as you have a strong why.

Speaker 1: 3:52

For me, my whole debt payoff journey and stuff this started back in October of last year. In the beginning, i didn't have a choice. I'm like this is what I have to do. I don't have another option. As you move along, you think, oh, i could go buy this or that. I'm telling you. I'm like, no, i'm not going to do that. This is. I have made a decision for myself and I have to stick with it, period. And if you find weak points, like maybe your journey's to pay off debt too, cut up those credit cards. Hide it. You know, do things to not enable yourself to fail. I even went as far to delete all my automatic payment information on all online things. I deleted my Apple wallet, you know. I knew that my Amazon credit card was a huge weak point for me because it just made it so simple to just buy whatever. So I deleted that out of my wallet, i canceled that credit card and after I had paid it off and I was just like, no, this is the end, i'm done with this. This is a weak point for me and I'm moving on.

Speaker 1: 5:02

So moving on to the next one fear of failure or fear of success. You know, not everyone's just afraid, but a lot of people are like, okay, well, what if I do succeed? and I have all the you know all these people looking at me or I, you know I am debt free. And then what? I've always just been enslaved in debt? or what if I do reach my peak physical self and I don't know what to do with that. You know what if I succeed and then I fall back? or fear is just a tactic of the devil? He wants to steal, kill and destroy your life, and I think that fear is always so loud and so amplified in our minds because the enemy wants to keep us condemned and imprisoned.

Speaker 1: 5:52

And the first thing that you can do is recognize your fears and then write them down. And then, next to those, i want you to write down the very worst outcome. So maybe your fear is becoming a hairstylist educator, and you know that's your goal. You really want to educate other stylists, but your fear is that you're not going to give them what they want, or you. The content is not as good as they were expecting. Well, what's the worst thing that could happen? They could not recommend you to their friends or they could just not take another class from you. But what's the best outcome Underneath the worst outcome? I want you to write the best outcome. Your content's amazing. They tell all of their friends, you gain a huge online following. You supplement your income. You can quit working behind the chair because you're making so much as an educator. You know, whenever you look at what's the worst that could happen and what's the best that can happen, usually the best ends up happening, not the worst. Or maybe it's as simple as you're wanting to do a price increase but you're scared that all your clients are gonna leave you. You know you could write afraid to do a price increase The worst outcome. Your clients leave The best outcome. They have no problem paying what you're worth. They are supportive. They still refer their friends and family to you.

Speaker 1: 7:28

You know, and maybe I know, for me, when I finally implemented a price increase in my business, the people that left just made room for people who truly appreciate me and my business And I ended up having even better clients than the ones that left And I doubled my income. So you know, i mean that fear was irrelevant And that was a huge fear of mine. I mean that was absolutely crippling to me. I mean I had hives before. I told my clients and I still get a little fearful of telling my clients in person like, hey, just so you know there's gonna be a price increase. I had to restructure again. This is where I'm at, and not over explaining, because a lot of times I'd be like, yeah, you know the cost of goods is this much and da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da da. No, no, you just say I have to do a price increase. This is what it's gonna be, and if that's not in your budget, i have some stylist that I can refer you out to Period. You have to be confident behind that statement because you know you're giving into fear when you're over explaining.

Speaker 1: 8:33

The next one is mental or physical health issues. Depression, anxiety and ADHD can all cause a lack of motivation, and do not be afraid to reach out for help. Sometimes our bodies just can't regulate the way that they were meant to. You know, in today's day and age we're infiltrated with chemicals and you know all of these electric devices and there's literally preservatives and chemicals in everything that we eat. Unless you're buying or growing your own food, buying from the farmer's market, buying organic, i mean, we're just infiltrated with it. It's just the day and age that we live in. All of that stuff can mentally and physically set our bodies off. Maybe it's a genetic thing, maybe it's.

Speaker 1: 9:26

You know there's so many different factors that go into mental and physical health And you know there's past traumas or you just have to figure out. What do you think is causing your lack of motivation. Do you feel like it's a mental problem Or do you feel like it's a physical problem? You know, physical wise chronic inflammation, blood sugar problems, hormone issues those can all cause lack of motivation also. But a statistic that I saw that was absolutely shocking was that 14.8 million people a year suffer from at least one depressive episode annually. So don't think you're alone if you're feeling depressed or that you're having mental health issues. This is a worldwide thing. There are so many people struggling with it. But, you know, i think the stigma around getting a therapist is totally out the window these days And there are so many people that are willing to help and, you know, are there with arms wide open, ready to help you work through your problems and figure out what exactly the root cause of your problems are. And I know that.

Speaker 1: 10:36

You know, for me, i have been struggling with just being tired. I, you know, i've been working out since January. I still wasn't losing weight And so I went to the doctor and I found out that I they think that I have insulin resistance. Well, insulin resistance is, you know, there's not really a true treatment for it, but there's lots of medications that you can take to try to help with it. And so they put me on something and you know, i've only been on it for like five days and I can already tell a difference. I sleep better. I was actually able to take a nap midday And, if you know me, i cannot nap. I try to take a nap and I just can't, and so that was so nice. I took two naps this weekend and you know I can feel like my body is working for me. My inflammation's already less. So I truly think it was a physical thing. My body wasn't doing what it's supposed to be doing. So you know, if you need medication, get on some medication. I am all for healing naturally, if possible through food and supplements, and I've been doing all that for a really long time and I still just was having some struggles And I think that hopefully this will be my cure for that And, you know, actually seeing some progress in my body after working so hard for so long, i think will be monumental in my mental health journey as I see my physical health improving.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Another point is you identify as quote unquote I am unmotivated, or I just can't find motivation or I can't stick with anything. The words that you speak have so much power over your life, and how you think about yourself goes a really long way. If you identify with I just have no motivation, you will become that You have to change your thoughts to. I am motivated, i can do this, i am able and I am capable. I will reach my goals. And so whenever you think about yourself and who you are and what your goals are, you know, just speak kindly to yourself and speak kindly about yourself to others. I, you know, i do hairstyle and when people are in my chair and they, you know, they're friends with me on Facebook and they kind of see that I get up early and I do all these things and they're like how do you do it? You know, and my answer is always, you know, dedication over motivation. I am just, i am dedicated to myself and the goal that I have in place and this is what I have to do to get there. And they're always like wow, you know. So just speaking kindly about yourself to others is also such a powerful thing And I don't know why in this culture, we do this whole like negative run around thing.

Speaker 1: 13:47

You know, if someone gives you a compliment, you're like, oh yeah, well, you know I'm really not that motivated and I'm just kind of winging it and, you know, own it. When someone gives you a compliment on you know seeing those early morning workouts or seeing the inches fall off, or you know, seeing you succeed in your business and leveling up your game behind the chair, don't blow it off. Take those compliments and say you know, thank you, i've been working really hard at that and I'm just choosing to do better for myself. And when you own those compliments, they truly take root in your soul. You're giving yourself a pat on the back through other people's kind words.

Speaker 1: 14:28

Don't downgrade yourself and don't just identify as who you once were. Identify yourself as who you're going to be, who you are becoming, who your end goal is. Identify as that Because, at the end of the day, we all want to be better And I know, for me, i you know. Every day I say to myself I am increasing in abundance, success and wealth and in love, and I inspire those around me to do the same. That's my daily mantra that I say to myself, because I am believing that I am expanding in all of those things and that I inspire others to do better for themselves too. And by believing that saying for myself, i can see it taking effect in myself and how I talk to others and how I accept compliments, because I used to be one of those people that would just be like oh yeah, you know, i know, look at you. You know, turn that compliment around on someone else. No, own it. Let it take root in your soul and truly own who you are becoming. Every day is a step closer to who you wanna be And start speaking to yourself.

Speaker 1: 15:48

Whatever it is that you're wanting to do, you know, i am debt free. I am successful behind the chair. My podcast is a success. This book I'm writing is going to be a New York Times bestseller. You know, whatever your dreams are, whatever your aspirations are, whether it's behind the chair, in your personal life, whatever it is write it down and identify as that.

Speaker 1: 16:16

And, last but not least, you are not aiming high enough. So as humans, we typically will not set our goals high enough. You know, for me, whenever it comes to goal setting, i had to be taught how to set goals, because I had never really done that before. I didn't know what that looked like. And if you go back to my goal setting podcast episode. I walk you through how to do this. But you know, just saying I'm debt free, that's not a big enough goal. You need to get specific and you need to aim super high. And yes, it's a longer time before you get that return. But if you set your goal way higher than what you think like you need to set it at least 10 times higher than what you think you're capable of you will Find more motivation because your goals are further away. Now some people Thrive better on like setting smaller goals because then you reach your goal faster. That's not a problem. You can set milestones along the way, but make sure that your goals are big.

Speaker 1: 17:35

I am writing a book. It's called stupid broke stylist. Our journey to smart, wealthy stylist. And and My mom was like so what are you, you know, hoping for your book? and I said you know what? let's shoot for a New York Times bestseller. And I'm not even gonna say that, i'm not gonna believe that that's not gonna happen. Why not set my goal that high? There are a ton of beauty for beauty professionals in this world and maybe it will help just enough people that it will become one.

Speaker 1: 18:03

Why not, you know, and with my debt payoff journey on my goal-setting Episode, when I went through and did that exercise, my goal is I am debt-free, with a hundred thousand dollars sitting in savings. Why is that not impossible? You know I, i am going to make this happen. Will it take a long time? Yes, you know, i've paid off. We're up to like forty five thousand dollars that we've paid off in debt since October. So I am checking off those mile markers. Every ten thousand dollars We check off a mile marker. You know, this is our journey and we are paying stuff off and I'm just so excited, you know.

Speaker 1: 18:47

So Set your goals for the moon. I mean set your goals out of this world. Just Don't be reserved. You are worth it and I know that your goals are just as important as my goals, whatever they may be. I Truly believing you and I believe that you can reach them.

Speaker 1: 19:09

And You know when it comes time to actually grinding and doing the work, and you know that day-to-day mundane thing, choose dedication over motivation. What's your why? stick to it. You owe it to yourself to overcome those fears and truly conquer whatever it is that you want to do for yourself and for your life. So, to wrap it up, i'm going to give you five actionable steps to overcome lack of motivation.

Speaker 1: 19:42

Number one dedication over motivation. Find your why and do it, even when you don't want to, and you know, you know. You know you can do whatever you want and you can do whatever you want to do And you can do whatever you want to do. You can do whatever you want to do And you can do whatever you want to do. Number two realize your fears and conquer them. They really aren't that big. Number three figure out if your lack of motivation is mental or physical problem. Look into anxiety, depression, adhd or body. Number four identify yourself as motivated. Speak it out to yourself and to others. Change your mindset and conquer those ugly feelings and thoughts about yourself. And number five make sure your why is clear and shoot for the stars. Absolutely no self-limiting beliefs are welcome here.

Speaker 1: 20:37

I hope that this episode is helpful to you and that you can overcome your problems around your lack of motivation and that you reach your goals. I truly believe in you. I can see it myself and I'm proud of myself, and I can see how All this hard work, this dedication over motivation, has impacted my life, and I hope it can do the same for you. I hope you all have an awesome day. Talk to you next week. Thank you for listening in today. If you have a burning question or a topic you want me to cover, leave a review and ask the question in the review. This is the best way to get your questions answered. Just remember you are a smart, wealthy stylist and you are capable of anything you set your mind to. I'll catch you later. Don't be a stranger.