25 Lessons I've Learned by 25 (birthday episode🥳)

In light of my 25th birthday this weekend, I thought it would be fun to do 25 lessons I have learned by 25🎉  In this episode I share advice that I would go back and tell my younger self to make the road ahead a little bit more smooth. Whether you and in your young 20s or beyond me-- There is something in here for everyone! Let me know what your favorite tip was on Instagram @samdesalvo

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Transcript

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Well, my friend, and welcome to the get out of your own way podcast. I'm your host, Sam DeSalvo, and I'm a woman's wellness coach and entrepreneur. I'm so excited to have you here. This podcast is all about real talk, where we explore the beautiful connection between the mind, body, and spirit, and how our faith in Jesus fits right into that. It's a biblical take on wellness, and it's the antidote to all that toxic diet culture nonsense. So here's the deal. We're going to chat every week about stuff that'll bring more joy and health into your life. while you grow in your faith. Think of it as a journey to finally stop tripping over your own hurdles and start living the life that you've always dreamed of. We're leaving self doubt and limitations in the past and we're doing it together. We will nourish our bodies and our souls and we will learn how to live with a heart full of faith. So grab a comfy seat and let's dive into the Get Out of Your Own Way podcast because it's time to embrace a life full of purpose, passion, and grace. Welcome and let's get started. Hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode on the Get Out of Your Own Way podcast. I'm your host, Sam DeSalvo. I'm so glad you guys are here today. Today we are doing a birthday episode. So my birthday falls on December 23rd and that's this upcoming weekend. So I wanted to do an episode in inspiration of my birthday. So I'm going to be doing 25 things I've learned by 25. So I'm turning 25. So when I was planning this episode, I was like, wait, do I do 24 things I learned by 24 or 25 things I learned by 25? But since I'm turning 25, I'll be doing 25 of them. So yeah, my birthday falls on a Saturday this year, which is going to be fun. Fun fact, I share my birthday with my mother and that has come with its own. different experiences throughout the years so now I love it because my mom is my best friend and I look up to her so much. But when I was younger, I never felt like I had, I guess, my own day because on the day every year we have to figure out something that we both want to do and make sure that the plans always work for both of us. So when I was younger, I didn't really love it as much. But as I got an older, I'm starting to enjoy it more. And, you know, Just kind of not be as selfish about it and make sure that I always honor her on her birthday because at the end of the day It's so sad to think but one day I won't share my birthday with her in person So I just want to make sure that I always you know, honor her and put her first so we have some fun plans with the family this weekend and Then it's Christmas Eve and then it's Christmas Day. So I hope you guys are having a good holiday season so far mine has gone pretty well. I've been pretty busy, but it's been a really stress free Christmas season for the most part. I've gotten almost all of my holiday shopping done. I had a package that I didn't think was gonna come in, and it came in on time, so that's always exciting. And I did a lot of shopping online. I'm sure you guys have done that too. So that streamlined the process. I still have to wrap all my gifts though. I'm probably going to do that on Christmas Eve. Let's be honest. And then, yeah, so this is going to be the last episode, obviously until Christmas. And then next week I will have an episode about. Jumping into the new year, setting ourselves up for 2024 and making it our best year yet. So stay tuned for that episode. I think that's going to be really good to spark some inspiration going into the new year. And then along with that, I have some announcements that I'm going to Tell you guys next week. So stay tuned for that. And I have a lot of rebranding that I'm doing at the wellness hub, getting ready for January, getting ready for the next launch of the well 30 challenge. So if you are interested in being a part of that, just follow me on Instagram and stay up to date with that. But yeah, so that's kind of what's going on right now. We got the birthday coming up and. Turning 25 this year and I feel like I'm excited for 25. I feel like the past two years have been very interesting years. So I would say 21, 22 was just normal, I don't know, that age. And then 23 and 24, I felt like I hit some bumpy roads, like 23 was definitely a year of heartbreak and just. Learning to like rely on myself and learn who I was again. And then I would say this past year 24 was all about like pruning myself. So weeding myself and getting rid of the junk and to figure out what I really want for my life and what makes me me. So I feel like this year also was a lot of lessons. So in today's podcast, I want to share 25 things. I learned by 25. And these are things that I wish I could go back and tell my younger self. So maybe if you are younger and you're listening to this, you will find this inspiration and take some of this advice. And even if you're older, maybe if something I say you latch onto. Take with it what you will. And if you are older, let me know if you relate to some of the things I'm going to be sharing today. So let's just jump right on into it. So the first thing I have learned in my 25 years on this earth, so I'm a quarter down, quarter life crisis happening here, just kidding. I wrote all these down in a notebook, and I really just free handed them all, so I just, whatever came to my mind, I wrote it down and came up with 25 things I would tell my younger self. So there's probably a lot more that I I could share with you guys and things that I might think of later that'll come up, but these were the first 25 things that came up for me. So, the first one is that life is all about the twists and the turns. So, if you are anything like me, I love to talk to people and ask them how they got to where they are. And a lot of times their stories don't align with how they started. So, say they They started off going to school for nursing and then 20 years down the road, they're a professor or they're doing something completely different. Like, I find that so fascinating to learn about how people's stories led them to where they are and that's kind of what I'm sharing with that. Life is all about the twists and turns, so you're going along for the journey. It's not as linear as you once thought it would be. Like, I feel like when we were younger, we thought Oh, I'm going to, you know, graduate college, get married, have kids, have a career, and it's all going to go in a perfect order. But a lot of times, more than not, it never goes in the order or on the timeline that we desired for ourselves. And that's what lifestyle is all about. It's about the twists and the turns. It's about the. Opportunities that came at a left field that you would have never imagined for yourself, good or bad. And I really do think that is what life's about. And so just being able to sit in life's current and let it take you with the flow. That is something I have recently learned. I have always been rowing against the current and trying to do things on my own way instead of kind of just going with What does life have for me or what does God have for me? I've never been that person until recently this year So that's definitely the first thing that came to my mind when I was writing this list The second thing is that it's not about speed. It's about quality so what I mean by this is a lot of times we are so focused on the end goal whether that be the end of a project or Getting to let's say a destination like our career. So it's not about how fast we get there it's about The quality that we arrive at it. So what I mean by this is I could have had any career that I went to college for by now. Like I could have graduated college and been in corporate America and working the corporate ladder. But that would have been about speed, not about quality. So as far as quality goes, it's more about taking the time to learn more about myself. What makes my heart on fire? What do I have a passion for? What would I be good at? What are my talents best used for? And then getting into a career that's more aligned with that. So I've seen that pattern a lot over my life that it's not about speed. It's about quality. So, again, Like with relationships, you probably could have gotten married in a different relationship, but would have that have been the most quality relationship you were meant to have. It's about waiting for God's best and not just settling for what's quickest. Number three is to try to let go of expectations, and I mean to just drop expectations around everything. drop expectations around other people, how you think they're going to react or how they're going to react towards you. Drop expectations about your timeline that I just mentioned. Drop the expectations about how you thought. Everything was going to go in your life or if you're going into a new drop new job, drop the expectations, like just try to go into things with an open mindset and let the things and the people reveal themselves to you. So don't paint the picture and romanticize something until you see it for what it is. And I think that could help you so much. Overall, to not get hurt, but also to just be a realist. So when we have all these expectations of, say, if you give somebody a gift, and you expect them to act a certain way once you give it, or you expect them to have a certain reaction and they don't, You will usually let yourself down, but if you walk into it with no expectations, you, you don't have any idea of how this person's going to react, then if they do have a good reaction, then that's a bonus. But if they don't, then you weren't setting yourself up for failure. And I think that can go for so many different aspects of your life. So try to let go of expectations. Number four is sometimes blessings come in different packages than you expected. So again, I think. This kind of, I think each point kind of rolls off of each other, but with this one, I think that we do have expectations for our lives and we do have an idea, we have ideals in our head of how we want things to show up. So whether this be like a friendship or a partner, we have a box that we've already put this person in, how they're going to show up. We have kind of a type when it comes to people. And I think if you are open to your blessings coming in different packages at your doorstep, life will start to open up to you. So, for example, for me, the guys I dated before my current boyfriend right now were very, very different. than my current boyfriend. And once I opened myself up to something different and outside of what I guess I expected, it was a blessing in a different kind of package. So if I were to not receive the package, then I would have been missing the opportunity and the blessings that were awaiting me. And then number five is things don't make sense in the moment, but it's all a part of God's plan. So our pastor spoke on how sometimes things won't make sense on this earth until you get to an internal life and God shows you that This had to happen for this ripple effect reason, like he shows you the whole picture all the way up from that moment, exactly why things need to happen the way it did. So the job rejections, the boyfriend rejections, why you couldn't have a kid at this specific time, like it all had to happen for a reason. And sometimes we don't understand it right now, but when you look back at it, it usually does always make sense. So. Trying not to get so discouraged when you get rejected or you get set on a different path that you didn't expect to go Because you have no idea how this is going to play out in your life later on but looking back at the end of your life It's gonna all make sense number six is There are no such thing as shortcuts. Whatever you do in life My advice to my younger self is to just do it well. Don't look for the shortcuts in doing your work. Don't look at the shortcuts in a fitness program. Or trying to get away from doing the hard work. All good things take time. And Anything worth doing is going to be hard. So don't always look for the shortcuts in life. And I think the grunt work will make you appreciate the outcome way better than if you were to take a shortcut. Number seven is deep relationships are way better than surface level relationships. And this kind of goes with number eight, which is four quarters are better than a hundred pennies. So something I realized about myself this year, which Should have been common sense all along was I really value deep relationships and deep conversations and getting to know someone past their surface level existence. So, I actually don't really like acquaintances at all, or just like. surface level friendships. Like I don't really even have the energy to want to bother with them. If I see a friendship that I think could prosper, then I will take the intentionality and put in the effort to get to know them more. I'm not saying that friendships will just happen or relationships will just happen if you don't put in the work. But personally, I don't really see, like, the value in acquaintances or just surface level friendships. I don't want a hundred people that kinda just know me. I would rather have four people that are my ride or dies and are there for me through and through. And I used to get upset when I would see, you know, big girl gangs and people going on. Like girl trips and things like that and I would always want that for myself and I mean it does still seem amazing But I also know the type of person I am now that I really just value Someone knowing me to my soul more than just a bunch of people Knowing me and also could put me to the wayside so easily So I have my core unit and I'm like I said I'm also very intentional with friendships when I see that this friendship could grow But I'm not gonna let my energy be drained by people who really don't want to put in the same level of effort into our friendship as I do. And I just really want to value those friendships that mean more to me and put the effort there where it's needed. So moving on to number nine is people are always thinking about themselves, not about you. So this is something that I stumbled upon, like this lesson I stumbled upon. Many, many moons ago. No, I'm just kidding. I was probably early in college and I was in a public speaking class and we'd all take turns, like every single class was public speaking in front of the same class. And as other people were public speaking, I was, you know, probably writing my speech because I hadn't done it that day. Or I, I was thinking about what I was having for breakfast. Like I was rarely ever thinking about what the person up there was speaking about and they were super nervous as most of us are when we public speak because they're doing it in front of all of us. But at the end of the day, all of us were writing our speeches and thinking about what we're having for breakfast. So it was kind of like a light bulb moment for me that I realized. No one really cares about, like, no one is really thinking about you. They're all thinking about themselves, just like I am right now. So that gave me a peace of mind when it was my turn to get up there to public speak. I just thought everyone's thinking about their breakfast right now. Like, no one's actually hearing the words that are coming out of my mouth right now. And I just think that's so true. Like we think that because we think about ourselves all the time, we think that everybody else is consumed with us too. But the harsh reality is everybody is just thinking about their own little worlds. Like we would be honored if we get space in somebody else's brain. Like if we got some real estate in someone else's brain, like that means They admire us or they're thinking about us for a reason and it takes energy to think about somebody. So if we get someone else's energy, honestly, good or bad, like we are still taking that real estate in their mind and in their thoughts. So that's something to think about when you get kind of caught up about, Oh, I don't, oh, is this person judging me, or when you're like, people are always thinking about me in a bad way, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, it's actually like, how much do you really think of other people, and why do you think they think about you any more than that? And also, this is another example, but this was when I was pretty young. I said, my mom said something to me about I don't know, feeling insecure one time. I don't really remember what the circumstances of this was, but I remember she was feeling insecure about something and we got into the car and I just said to her, Mom, what shoes, what color shoes was the person in front of us wearing? And she's just like, I don't know. And I'm like, exactly. If you can't remember what the person in front of you shoes look like, why do you think they care about the small stain on your sweatshirt? We are just so consumed with ourselves all the time that we think other people are thinking about us, but like I just said, we can't even remember what the person two seconds ago was just wearing in front of us. So that's something to think about when you're feeling insecure sometimes. Number 10 is don't try to force anything in life. There is that old saying, the tighter you hold something, the more it wants to just pull away from you. So whether it be relationships, friendships, jobs, whatever it may be in your life, the harder you try to hold it and you try to control it, the more resistance you're giving to it to want to pull away from you. You want your relationships to be an even energy flow. You give, they give, you give, they give, and it should be reciprocal. But when it's just one sided, you're just pouring all of yourself out into this thing, and at the end of the day, it's giving desperate energy. But if you have the mentality that, I want this, I don't need it, I think you would be really surprised with how much more you would be open to receiving in your life and you would be open to this natural, easy flow of life instead of it being just so controlled, so hardcore, and just driving things away from yourself. Because when The universe and God knows that you need something so, so bad and you're holding it so tight. It's going to be a rude lesson coming your way that you really don't need it and you're going to learn how to live without it or you're going to learn how to get through this. Until you get to the point, and I kind of spoke on this in my last podcast, until you learn that you are perfectly okay. Like on your own or you're okay without that thing, is that finally when you get that thing. When you finally letting life happen for you instead of to you, that's when the world opens up to you. So whatever it is in life, let it show you that it needs you. So if you're in a relationship, don't try to manipulate it and control it so much that you're forcing it to happen. Let the relationship show you, let the person show you that, Hey, I want you in my life too. Like, that's what I mean. It should be a two way street, not just a one way street. Moving on to number 11. Always invest in yourself. So this could go to an extreme and I'm not saying always go out and, you know, treat yourself. No, no, no. That is not what I'm saying here. When I say invest in yourself, I'm talking about your education, caring for yourself. I'm talking about investing time back into yourself, investing energy back into yourself. Like be the main character of your life. Like you are your number one priority. One time I wrote down in my journal, like my priorities and they really weren't In a specific order, like I was just writing them down, and then my boyfriend saw them, and he was honestly like, third or fourth on the list, like I think it was like, God, family, something something, like he wasn't the top thing on the list, and like I said, I did not write these in any specific order, but he thought I did, so when he saw that, he was like, oh, and I was like, hey, I really didn't write that in any specific order, I was like, but, Yeah, If I'm being truthful with you, if I don't do those three things that are above you, like I won't be a good person for you. Like if I don't put my health and fitness first, if I don't put God first, if I don't put my education first, like things like that, I won't be able to show up as my best. So, number 12 of the 25 things I've learned by 25 is that you can show up as your best version of yourself for everything else in your life. So, number 12 of the 25 things I've learned by 25 is that I will always rather try and fail than wonder what if. So, I think that a lot of people would agree with me that I am a pretty courageous person and I am pretty brave, but I think that comes from the fear of wondering what if. So, it would actually probably kill me inside to know, like, what if I took that chance or what if I took that job. I would rather try it. Hate it, move on from it, that way I can wash it clean, I won't look back on it, and I won't regret it. That's just my personality, is that I'm gonna try it. And I also have the personality that if somebody else can do it, why can't I? What makes me and you different? We're both people. So, that doesn't come from like a cocky perspective, it really doesn't. But I just think for me, the fear of regret just outweighs. trying something new and failing. I have failed at things and you will get over it and you will learn from it. So I kind of have that mentality too. And then moving on to number 13 is loving hard is my superpower. So I used to beat myself up for how hard I would love someone or people in general. Like I love my family a lot. I love my best friends a lot. I love my boyfriend a lot. Like I have a huge heart and I used to beat myself up for this because I would find myself getting hurt a lot. And this kind of goes with the expectations. I had expectations on other people that if I loved this hard, They should also, or if I put this much energy into something, they should also, but I learned that my heart and the love I have for people is the gift that God gave me and it's the way that I serve. So pouring into other people and showing up for other people and just giving them my all. Is what makes me me and it's going to make me, you know, be who I am in my career as well. So I've learned to take that from like a negative thing of, you know, I would always get myself hurt by pouring my heart out to people who didn't deserve it into like. I'm not going to put my heart in a box and restrict myself just because of other people. I will pour it into the right people and avoid the wrong people. That kind of goes back to, you know, my deep relationship slash surface level. Like not everybody gets all my love, but I'm not going to not love hard just because I've been hurt in the past. If you're just like that, I hope that you will take that advice too. That don't. Not be your whole you. Don't not be a compassionate person. Don't not be empathetic just because you've been hurt in the past. You do deserve to love and you do deserve to pour your heart out to the people in your life. Just make sure they're the right people and if you've been hurt, then I hope you do do the inner work to heal that because you do deserve to love and pour that out. That's why we're on this earth. Like, God is all about love. God is love. He wants us to share that with each and every single person around us. So moving on to number 14, owning a business isn't always glamorous and it rarely ever is. So a lot of people, especially in today's day and age, have really glamorized entrepreneurship and they make it seem that everybody needs to own a business and it's the only way to be successful nowadays. And I'm here to tell you that there are pros and it is fun to be a business owner, but it's also a lot of dirty work. And I wish that there was more behind the scenes of the dirty work and of all the hats that you will wear as a business owner, especially just getting started. Like when you just start a business, you will not make money for Years you will barely break even for years unless you know you have one of those overnight success stories cool for you But more than times than not you are going to grow that business grow your connections for many many years Before you start to see actual profit in revenue in your business. So My advice to you, if you are looking to start a business, I would suggest that you get some experience in the real world and in maybe a corporate company and see how the organization and the flows go and then take the experience that you learn and start a side hustle. Work at that side hustle for a good amount of time until you feel like you could stand on your own two feet with your business. Because like I said, starting a business is hard. There's a lot of hats that you will have to wear as far as like bookkeeping and accounting, and I don't even know, analytics, data, website development, marketing. If you're selling products, whole different line of work. So there's going to be so much to learn. So if you could heap advice and education from a company and apply some of that knowledge to your side hustle, I think that will help you a lot in the long run. Instead of trying to figure all out. I'm going to be doing a video on how to make money on your own from the start because it's just going to take a lot longer and you're not going to make any money. Number 15 is how much I still have to learn. So, this is all of us and we will always be learning. And I think I just really realized that There is so much education and so much to learn. Like anytime I love listening to podcasts and audiobooks, I love to just learn and consume information. But I feel like when you start this journey of just like listening to personal development books and reading more and starting a business, you really do realize how much there is to potentially learn in life. And we do have such great abilities to just keep expanding our knowledge and growing. Our personalities and our development and just so much more than that, like, we do have the ability to get better at things and learn more and seek new hobbies, try new things, like things like that. So. I will always be learning and I think you will too. So that's that. And then number 16 is, if you don't have any bruises in life, it's because you never did anything with courage. So if you leave this earth completely unscarred, it's because you never tried anything worth scarring. So if you leave this earth untouched, maybe that's cool for you, but that also means you didn't try anything that you would. fail at. And if you don't try anything you never failed at, that means you never were courageous in your life. You never were brave. You did everything and played it very, very safe. So I feel like some people are okay with that, but with my personality, I'm not. I'd rather have a whole lot of bruises and Really experienced all the facets of life. Number 17 is your dog will be a rock in your 20s. So, if you are a lucky individual like myself, you have a dog in your young Or early 20s, and you get to grow up with them. So I've had Easton since I was 18 years old, and honestly, I can't tell you how much he has been there through, he has been there for me through every single chunk of my life. So through every transition, every heartbreak, every uncomfortable moment, every failure, And also every celebratory time, like, he has been my rock. He's been, like, one thing that I just knew would stay consistent. And I know that might sound dramatic to some people that aren't dog owners. Like, they're like, whoa, like, chill, it's a dog. But sometimes when you're young and you're in your 20s and you're just looking for something to hang on to that's steady and consistent, sometimes it is your dog. Like, you're one person, one person, you're one thing that you could just go to and just Rely on someone that's always happy to see you. Someone that you can just talk to the whole, all the time. And you know, they're just going to be there listening and just happy to be around you. They make you feel valued. They make you feel worthy. They make you feel like your life matters. And those are very essential things in your twenties. So if you're not a dog owner, I encourage you to do it. It is a lot of responsibility, but like I said, there is just nothing like it. Your dog will absolutely love you. Be your rock in your early 20s. Number 18 is you will always need someone who will be there to pull the drain plug when you're drowning. So you need this one person in your life that you are at your wit's end and you are drowning underwater and there's that one person that pulls the drain plug out and they just relieve you from everything. They make you feel like. You're good. You're gonna be okay. You've always been okay, and you're gonna continue to be okay. And I really hope and pray that you have this one person in your life. I have a couple of these. I do feel really blessed for that, like, now that I'm, like, saying it out loud. Like, my best friend is absolutely this person for me. Like, I could call her with anything. Like, I have done some stupid stuff in my, like, lifetime. Like, I've definitely done some things on a whim that I was like, why did I do that? She's talked to me right down from the cliff. Like when I thought like, wow, my whole world is shattered. She's talked me down from it. Hey, you're good. She spoke life over me, reminded me who I was. So like I said, I have a couple of these people in my life. So I am ultra blessed now that I'm just like, Talking this out loud, but you need that one person. Find that one person. Invest in that one person. They're so worth it. Number 19 is Life feels confusing more than it doesn't. So I think we can all agree, life kind of. It's a rollercoaster. And like I said in the beginning, it's all about the twists and the turns. And the more times than that, we're just asking God, God, what are you doing? God, what are you doing in this season right now? God, what, what am I learning in this season, Lord? Like, I feel like a lot of times you're just questioning what the heck is happening or where am I going next? Like, what's my plan? What's my direction? I need some clarity here. And it's a lot more of that feeling of how is this all going to work out more than it's clear. And I think once you get more comfortable with that, and you can kind of just sit in it and understand that It's just more like, hey, that's life. And number 20 kind of goes with this one. It's just step by step. So sometimes all you can do is step by step. So a lot of psychologists will break down, if you're having a really hard time in life, they will Take life into smaller chunks. So they'll say, Hey, let's go five minutes by five minutes. Can you do that? Okay. Can you do an hour by an hour? Just focus on the next hour. That's all you need to focus on right now is getting through this next hour. And then sometimes it really is just step by step. So for me in this season of my life right now, it's just been like, Hey, are you good for today? Do you have enough money? Do you have enough resources? Do you have enough food for today? Okay, cool. Just focus on that. Tomorrow, we'll focus on tomorrow. And I mean, that's literally a Bible verse in Matthew. Like, today has enough troubles of its own. Let tomorrow worry about tomorrow. And yeah, that's been really huge for me in this season. It's just step by step, like, day by day. Step by step, day by day. Cue this song right here. Y'all know that song. It's from like a show back in like the 90s. That's what it reminds me of. Moving on to number 21. We're almost at the end guys Just do the things that have to get done. Complaining just wastes time. So one of my biggest pet Peeves is when people have a whole hissy fit about something they need to do. So if they need to wash the dishes and they're just like going around the house, just yelling about how they need to wash dishes, like making a huff and a puff. Honestly, like the squeaky wheel gets the grease. It's my biggest pet peeve in life. I. Cannot stand those types of people. It's just put your head down, get the work done, shut up. Because when you are just wasting time by just talking about like, if you have to do something, you have to do it. There's no point in just like getting upset about it. Like maybe think about if we're still talking about the dishes, watch a YouTube video, listen to a podcast while you're washing the dishes. Like make it a little bit more enjoyable. But just do the hard work. No shortcuts. Don't try to huff and puff your way out of life. Just do it, please. Number 22 is people aren't going to like you just like you're not going to like everyone. That is a lesson that was pretty hard for Sam. Yeah, that was hard for me. Like I said, I do love pretty hard and I have a big heart and I honestly don't not like like Anybody, like maybe you're not my person, but there's not like, I'm going to go out of my way and be intentionally mean to you. And I've had a couple of those people in my life, like within the past five years. And it honestly just rocks my world each time I've experienced it because I'm just like, how can you be so mean? Like, it's just like an evil, like, spirit on these people that I'm just like, how can you Be so bitter and mean to somebody that like hasn't done anything to you. I truthfully don't understand it. Like I don't understand resentment and people that go out of their way to be hurtful towards you. My mind honestly can't even wrap around it, but I have come across a couple of those people in my life. And I would say that. It was something I really had to talk about in therapy, like, I don't get it. And a lot of times it's not you. It's something that's going on within themselves that maybe you're, you're a mirror to them and it's a reflection of themselves back at them and they, they get very uncomfortable being around you because it challenges something within themselves. So understanding that and also just. Let them sit in their own misery, like release that energy back to them. Like it's not yours to hold Just and then you're everyone's not gonna like you and just like you're not gonna like everybody else Like again, I would never be intentionally mean to someone like some of these people have been to me But of course there's gonna be people that you just don't vibe with like you just they're not your kind of people They are so different. You're never in a million years. Would you like want to hang out with them for a long period of time. And that's okay. Like God made us all so different. And there's a million other people in the world that do like you. And there are other people that you vibe with. So just let them be them and you be them and you be you. And a lot of times I think we get caught up with trying to make these people like us instead of us just asking, do we even like them? Cause there was a couple of times that. I would get really upset when a person didn't like me and I felt like I was trying to prove myself them to them to get their approval and be like, Hey, no, like I'm pretty cool. Like show me that, like, you don't hate me or something like that. Like I would spend so much energy trying to do that. And literally my mom once said to me, like, Hey. If this situation wasn't like involved, would you even be friends with this person, like, in a different lifetime? And I was like, literally, no. Like, we are so different. Like, there's not a chance on this earth we would be friends. She's like, so let it go. Like, it's not your type of person. So, I've gotten a lot better with that, and yeah, you're just, you're not for everyone, just like everyone's not for you. Number 23, if you don't like something, do something about it. If you know me For five minutes, you know, this is my personality, literally another pet peeve of mine is don't complain something. Don't complain about the same thing over and over again without doing nothing about it. Like if you just continuously complain about something, let's say, let's use weight loss as an example. If you come to me and you just say, Oh, I'm so fat and I really want to lose weight. Hey, Sam, like, can you help me? Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. I will pour my energy into you. I will give you the tips, the tricks, the this, the that. I will set you up for success. I will walk alongside you. Like I will do whatever you want to do with you. Like I will be an encourager. But, if three weeks go by and you don't do a single thing out of everything we talked about and you come back to me and you say the same things over again, like, after time and time of that, that's where it gets annoying and that's where it's like, how bad do you want it? Like, at some point you need to take action with it and it could be messy action, like nothing's going to be perfect when you first get started, but just get started. I feel you could hear the passion in my voice, how that really irks me. So, if you don't like something about your life Do something about it. You have complete control over your life. You have ownership over yourself. Take number 24 to left. You're supposed to change. It shows growth. So anytime anyone has ever said to you, you've changed, you're different. You used to be this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Try to have the mindset of, yeah, we're supposed to change. We're supposed to grow and. Trying to not get insulted by if someone says you've changed because your life has probably also changed a lot. So if someone you've seen since high school said you changed, be like, yeah, of course I have. I've literally lived five lives since high school. Like what do you mean? Of course i'm not going to be that same person. I have way different responsibilities now. I have way different perspective on life. I hope that I have grown since then. And the last one is number 25. You're gonna learn a lot about yourself. If I could go back to when I was 20 and say, what would I know by 25? It's that you're gonna learn a lot about yourself. Like I said, these past two years have been two of the biggest years for growth in my life and just learning about who I am, how I react to things, what brings me joy, what makes me tick, what lights my heart on fire, like, and also just like a lot of ugly things. Like, I've just, like, I've been in therapy for years now, like four years. So I've learned a lot about how I grew up, how that affected me. What are some of the patterns that I still have taken from childhood and applying to my life now? And then just being really conscious, conscious to things. So if I find myself acting in a way or making a decision that like, hey, I've been here before, I've had this lesson before in my life, let's respond to it different. So whether that be an argument or. Just a roadblock that I'm facing. I've been here before. I've experienced the same exact feeling I'm feeling right now. Right now, I have the chance to make a different decision than last time. So there's been a lot of that this year or these past couple years. And just, yeah, really diving into who I am, what makes me, me, what makes the world around me. This quarter life thing, I think it really is just about growth. And I mean, you're never going to stop growing and learning about yourself. Like I hope the next five years I can say the same exact thing about myself. Like you've learned a lot about yourself. Like I'm low key excited for my thirties. I know a lot of people like, Hey, don't rush your twenties. Like You know, I'm not rushing my 20s. I'm still here, still present, can only be where my feet are. But I just feel like your, your 30s are like you know who you are and now you start living in accordance to who you are instead of like in your 20s, I feel like you're kind of playing dress up, like you're trying on all these different characters and which one suits me the best and whatever suits me the best or makes me feel the most like me, that's who I'm going to be. So that's what I kind of see. That's how your 20s are. It's just like figuring things out and then when you step into your 30s you step into your fullest you. But yeah, like I said, I hope I can say the same thing in the next five years of my life that I've learned so much about myself. And yeah, so my birthday is This Saturday, the 23rd, I will be 25. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. I thought this was super fun. Make it like a little birthday episode. And stay tuned for next week's episode. We're going to be talking all about the new year, how to walk into next year. So walking in, after I just said everything we said today, how can we apply all these things into next year and become the best versions of ourselves. And then I'm also just going to be announcing some fun things. So with that said, I hope you guys have a great holiday. I hope you take some time to just be, you don't have to do anything. You don't have to be anything, just be yourself. And I hope you can relax and enjoy that time with your family. You deserve it. Don't forget that. And then I will talk to you guys next week. So thank you so much for listening all the way to the end. You're a real one. Follow me on Instagram at Sam DeSalvo and I would love to connect with you guys on there. Thanks again for listening, and I will talk to you guys soon. Happy Holidays! I really hope you guys enjoyed today's episode and real quick if you guys could do a huge favor and share this episode with somebody that you think would be blessed by it and you can catch me during the week on instagram at sam disalvo have a great week guys bye