“Women only become Surrogates for the money.” Have you ever heard someone say this? Even if you haven’t, this Surrogacy Talk is for you! Frank will address and break down three common myths about surrogacy. He will discuss why not only are they false but also how they are harmful to the surrogacy community. Buckle up because this Surrogacy Talk will provide you with the vocabulary to respond the next time Karen leaves a negative comment on a video.
“Women only become Surrogates for the money.” Have you ever heard someone say this? Even if you haven’t, this Surrogacy Talk is for you! Frank will address and break down three common myths about surrogacy. He will discuss why not only are they false but also how they are harmful to the surrogacy community. Buckle up because this Surrogacy Talk will provide you with the vocabulary to respond the next time Karen leaves a negative comment on a video.
Welcome to Surrogacy Talk with me, your fabulous host and family building expert, Frank Golden. I'll be talking about surrogacy, IVF, and making babies. Hello and welcome to Surrogacy Talk. I'm Frank Golden, the agency director and founder of Golden Surrogacy. Today, I have a wonderful topic to discuss with all of you. I'll be breaking down some myths about surrogacy. And before I do get started, I would like to remind all of you to please like and subscribe. You can find us on YouTube, Spotify, or anywhere else that you stream podcasts. Okay, let's dive in. Surrogacy myths. And while there are many, I will just be covering a few of them today. So let's call this part one. Now, the first surrogacy is only for the wealthy or celebrities. That is just not true. According to the American Academy of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. 15% of couples experience infertility. So logic would dictate that more than just the celebrity demographic might turn to surrogacy in order to be able to complete their family. And numbers are indicating that over 700 babies born each year via surrogacy is on the uptrend. So the point here is that when you're looking at a demographic like celebrities, of course, they have a platform. And when they have their babies, everyone knows about it. When your neighbor has a baby born via surrogacy, they might not broadcast it to the world. And even if they did, they wouldn't have millions of followers. And so it is very important to understand that what you may be seeing is what's being advertised to you via social media and then on the wealth side of it. Of course, the surrogacy process is costly, but I would like to emphasize emphasize that many couples use insurance, there are grant programs, there are resources that help middle class, middle income, everyday people, not just the wealthy or celebrities, be able to take advantage of this great technology, IVF and surrogacy, to complete and build their families. So to say that surrogacy is only for the wealthy, only for celebrities is patently false. And definitely a myth that I would like to bust. Now, the second myth here would be that women opt for surogacy to avoid pregnancy. Perhaps they're vain, they don't want to gain weight, they don't want to take off time from work or they're scared of labor, that is not true. And in what that does is it really discredits the medical need and the real reasons that women do turn to surrogacy. Many people don't know this, but in a lot of states there is a statutory requirement that there be a medical need for an Intended Parent to have a Gestational Surrogate. And so you can't just call up your doctor and say, "Hey, I'd like to have a Surrogate." It doesn't really work that way. And we need to bust this myth so that everyone isn't thinking this is how the surrogacy community operates at large. Now, that process would be called social surrogacy. And I would also like to point out that here at Golden, we do not embark on journeys that are what we deem social surrogacy. We do require that our Intended Parents have a medical need. And what you might also like to know or find fascinating is that many Surrogates will only work with Intended Parents that have a medical need. So it works both ways. And again, it is a myth that needs busting. Our third myth for today that needs busting is that IPs who do not give birth naturally will not be able to bond with their baby. That is really not true. I mean, look at me. I'm a gay man. I did not give birth to our children and I have not had any issues bonding with them. They absolutely adore me. I adore them, of course. And we have a great relationship but I love my children. I would say that I am very bonded to them. And so this is something that really is just not true. When my daughter and son was born, I was really considering the skin to skin factor because, you know, in my research personally, I had you know, from talking to other Intended Parents and online research and books come to the conclusion that I wanted to do skin to skin And so thinking, okay, well, skin to skin at birth would help me bond later on down the line. I don't know if that's true or not, but I did the skin to skin. And so what I always recommend is at the delivery wear something that's either with buttons or a zip up so they have easy access to your newborn. So if that is a factor, a component of bonding with your baby, then I would definitely encourage you to be mindful of your wardrobe when you go in for that special delivery. But overall, this is this is not something that is true intended. Parents that do not give birth naturally are not at risk for not bonding with their baby. You are going to do fantastic at bonding with your baby. They're going to love you. They're going to look at you and you are their parent. So definitely not something you need to be concerned about. I would say myth busted on this one. And then the fourth and final metaphor today would be Surrogates are only in it for the money. Whenever I hear this I immediately think this is very cringe. This is cringe worthy material here, cringe worthy lies being spouted. I have built really great relationships with Surrogates over the years, not just my on my personal journeys and the Surrogates that I was honored to be able to go through a surrogacy journey with. But all of the wonderful women that have joined with Golden Surrogacy, our Golden family and been able to help all of our Intended Parents over the years. They speak with me, we have conversations, and what I can tell you is one of the number one reasons why these women have decided to become Surrogates is the personal connection. When you speak with them nine times out of ten, they'll usually tell you that they had a childhood friend growing up that could not conceive or a family member that they heard about. And they always wanted to be able to do something. And oftentimes they needed to of course, wait until they had a child or children of their own. And when I say children, I mean that they were completely happy with their own family makeup. And they were at the right place in their life and then also had the buy in of their significant other to be able to then help another individual or a couple fulfill their dreams of having a family. And so it's always something that they've thought about doing. The financial component is really not something that is the biggest factor for these women. And I really wish that this myth could essentially go away and not exist at all. Because it's something that has been held over the Surrogate community for quite a long time. But to really look inside the heart and soul of these women, I think would surprise many of you. They're well-intentioned and they're really fantastic people. And I think if you take the time to really understand that component, this myth, again, is one that busted. They are not, Surrogates are not in it for the money. And with that, we've had really four myths here that, in my opinion, should be gone. Busted myths for sure. And patently false, all of them. And just to recap, we had Surrogate surrogacy is only for the wealthy and or celebrities. That is absolutely false. Women only opt in for surrogacy to avoid pregnancy for themselves. Intended Parents who do not give birth naturally will have trouble bonding with their children. Absolutely false. And then Surrogates only in it for the money, please. And to anyone out there that may believe some of these myths or are unsure of any of the information that I provided here, I would encourage you to stop and do the research for yourself, speak with previous intended parents, perhaps, or speak with someone who's been a Surrogate, get their perspective. And I really think that regardless of where you land at the end of that decision process, you will be much more informed, better informed. And it is my hope that you would see that these are myths. But I think it's really good to do your own research sometimes and come to that conclusion on your own. So with that said, again, stay tuned for part two, because we are going to take a look at this. And I'm sure that we will have many more myths that need to be busted. And that is all that I have for you today. Thank you so much for tuning in to my Surrogacy Talk. I'm Frank Golden again, this is my Surrogacy Talk. Please like and subscribe. Follow us on YouTube, Spotify, anywhere podcasts can be found. If you have questions, comments, if you have myths of your own that you would like me to bring to Surrogacy Talk and bust them for you. Send all of those comments and you can tweet me @GoldenSurrogacy. You can send DMS to my Instagram, it's @Golden_Surrogacy. I am here ready to listen and help answer all of your questions. Once again, I am Frank Golden with Surrogacy Talk here at Golden Surrogacy, reminding all of you that Everyone Deserves a Family.