Welcome Home - A Podcast for Veterans, About Veterans, By Veterans
Welcome Home is a Willing Warriors and the Warrior Retreat at Bull Run project. The program highlights activities at the Warrior Retreat and issues impacting all Veterans. For questions or feedback, please email us at podcast@willingwarriors.org.
Welcome Home - A Podcast for Veterans, About Veterans, By Veterans
Casting for Recovery: Author Beau Beasley on Veterans' Tales of Triumph with “Healing Waters”
I'm joined again by Beau Beasley, our distinguished first repeat guest. His latest literary achievement, "Healing Waters, Veterans' Stories of Recovery in Their Own Words," takes us on an emotional voyage through the lives of veterans, finding solace and strength in fly fishing. The inspiration for the book, ignited by artist and disabled Vietnam veteran Alan Folger, is a powerful reminder that the echoes of service resonate long after the battlefield falls silent. Beau honors the courage and resilience of these heroes, underscoring the importance of Project Healing Waters and its role in veteran recovery.
The essence of brotherhood and healing comes alive as I recount a memorable fishing expedition with veterans in the untamed beauty of the Bob Marshall Wilderness. Staff Sergeant Brian Mancini's poignant narrative of sacrifice sheds light on the profound impact of military service on the lives of those who wear the uniform. The chapter evolves into a candid discussion about Beau's journey to capture these deeply personal stories, learning the importance of presence and empathy over mere words. It's a testament to the profound bonds formed through shared sacrifice and a collective longing for understanding.
Bringing our heartfelt exchange to a close, Beau and I explore the mutual respect that transforms the writer-veteran relationship into one of profound trust and care. We emphasize the pivotal role of community support in fostering veteran recovery, celebrating organizations like Project Healing Waters and Willing Warriors for their unwavering service. This episode is for all who wish to extend a hand of friendship and understanding to those who've served, inviting listeners to become active participants in our veterans' continued healing journey.
Good morning. I'm your host, Larry Zilliox, Director of Culinary Services here at the Warrior Retreat at Bull Run, and today our guest is Beau Beasley. He is our first repeat guest. Beau was here in season one with Al Alborn when we did an episode about the healing power of fly fishing and fishing in general. Today, I'm really happy to have him back because we're going to discuss his new book titled Healing Waters Veterans Stories of Recovery, in their Own Words, and it's about all the veterans that he met fly fishing during his time when he was associated with Project Healing Waters, which is a really great veteran service organization that's nationwide, and we'll talk a little bit about them as well. But, bo, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you, Larry, it's great to be here. Tell us about the book. What I'm interested in is I know you've been working on it for a while. Tell us a little bit about how you got the idea for the book and the process. You know how much work it went into this book.
Beau Beasley:Okay, oddly enough, this is my third book. The first book I did was Fly Fishing, virginia, and the second one I did was Fly Fishing in Mid-Atlantic. They came out a couple of years later and the artist for that book, alan Folger, who's an Air Force veteran, great guy, called me the day after my Mid-Atlantic book came out and said I've got a suggestion for your next book. And I said, alan, I'm not interested. I just finished a book, I'm exhausted, I'm not really interested in doing another book. I just, you know, kind of want to catch my breath here. And he said well, I've got a great idea. You should do a book about Project Healing Waters.
Beau Beasley:Now, for people that don't know, project Healing Waters is a national nonprofit that started in 2005. And it started as a result of a Navy captain, ed Nicholson, that went into a he's a retired Navy captain went into a wall to read, to have some cancer removed off the top of his head, and while he was in the recovery room he saw all these young soldiers that had been in Afghanistan and Iraq and he was easily 30 years older, maybe 35 years older than the other people in the recovery room and it just it bothered him and he thought, hey, I'd like to get these guys, maybe get these guys out on the water and take them fly fishing. Well, he did. And it started with one veteran who, by the way, lives, believe it or not, five miles from where your headquarters is. Wow, robert Bartlett, it grew from there.
Beau Beasley:But to back up, alan said you need to write about this national nonprofit called Project Healing Waters, and it had just started. It was very, very young, I had been volunteering with them and I said no, alan, I'm not going to write a book about veterans and this organization because I'm not qualified. I mean, I do guidebooks. You're talking a human interest story and I'm not qualified to do that. Well, he called me back about six months later and said have you started yet? And I said, no, alan, I told you I'm not, I'm not doing it. And six months went by and he called me again and said hey, have you started yet? And he kept calling. And he kept calling.
Beau Beasley:And I'm a retired Fairfax County firefighter. I spent 30 years with Fairfax County and one of the last years, probably 18 months out from when I retired, I got a phone call at the fire station and it was Alan Folger and he said have you started yet? And I said Alan, I've told you I'm not qualified to do this. I can't do it, I'm not going to do it and that's all there is to it. And there was dead silence on the phone, nothing for like 30 seconds. And finally I said Alan, are you there? He said, yep, I'm here. I said well, did you hear what I said? I'm not going to do it.
Beau Beasley:And he said well, sooner or later they're going to stop fighting in Afghanistan and they're going to quit fighting in Iraq and they're going to forget about these veterans. They're going to forget all about them and you can't let that happen. And that was kind of a gut punch, because Alan had served in Vietnam and it was so bad. The media had so demonized the military that by the time he was coming back to the States they actually had to go. When they landed in the US, they had to go straight to a bathroom and change out of their uniform into civilian clothes to keep from being accosted by the public, because the media had just demonized the American soldier to the point that it was not literally not safe for them to walk through an airport in uniform. So he knew what he was talking about and he knew what it was like to come back and be isolated. So when he said that to me, I'm like man. I said all right, alan, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to talk to my wife and I'm going to talk to my publisher, which is my get out of jail free card, because my wife edits everything I write, and I knew she was going to say no because the amount of work it was going to take. So I go home that next day I work a 24-hour shift.
Beau Beasley:I went home the next morning and I said to my wife Laila. I said hey, alan Folger called me with this idea for a book. He thinks I need to do a book about Project Tealing Waters. And she said I think that's a great idea. And I said what she said yeah, I think it's a great idea. I know how much you love veterans. I know how much you like fly fishing. I know how much you believe in Project Tealing Waters. I know how much you love veterans. I know how much you believe in Project Tealing Waters. I think it'd be a great tribute to those veterans and I think you know it'd be really something proud of to look back. But the kids would look and say, hey, my dad did this book and sported veterans. So I thought, wow, ok, that that surprised me.
Beau Beasley:But I wasn't all that anxious about it because my publisher was going to have to front all the money and to bring a book like this to market cost about $35,000 to $40,000. And most people don't understand that. And so I called my publisher, howard Fisher, of no Nonsense Guide Books and, like I said, he'd already published two of my books and I said, howard, I've got an idea for a book. You're probably not going to want to do it, but here it is. And I probably did not talk, for I wasn't a minute into explaining the book, and he goes yeah, we're doing it. I said what do you mean we're doing it? He said I mean we're doing it. I said you understand that I don't know what I'm doing. I've never done this before and I don't want Project Healing Waters to have to put up a dime If this book ends up being a flop. I don't want them to have laid out a lot of money and then it not because I had no confidence I was going to be able to do it. I certainly didn't expect anybody else to have any confidence at me. And Howard said oh no, we're definitely doing this book. I'm a volunteer for Project Healing Waters at Fort Wachuka. We're doing it. Well, I had no idea.
Beau Beasley:So the two most important persons as far as a book goes in my life my wife and my publisher were all you know. They were 100% behind it. So it was like I said it wasn't even my idea and I probably put him off for at least a year and I said, okay, well, let me wow, I wasn't. It was like the dog catching the car. What do I do now? Yeah, so now you got to write a book. Now I got to write a book. I have no idea what I'm doing. It's not like a guidebook. I had no idea what I was. I had no idea.
Beau Beasley:So I started doing interviews. I interviewed a few people and after about a year and I was very, very intimidated because I knew what I wanted I wanted to do a book where you got to hear the veteran's voice it. You know, I was just a conduit. I wasn't. It wasn't my story, it was their story and I'd never done that kind of writing before.
Beau Beasley:So I had interviewed a few people and then one day I got a phone call from Ed Nicholson, the founder of Project Healing Waters. He asked me if I wanted to fish on the middle fork of the Salmon River. They were taking some veterans out and he asked me if I wanted to go. I kind of hemmed and hauled and he said you really need to go, because on some of these trips this is where the magic happens. And what he was talking about was how people, after being away for a couple of days and around other veterans, start to let their guard down and really start connecting with other people. And I said, well, ed, I'd like to go. And he said I don't. I don't understand what's. What's your hesitance? And I said, well, ed, not to put too fine a point on it, but I can't afford to take this kind of trip. I can't fly off to Idaho and pay for an outfitter and be gone for five or six days. I just can't do that. And he said, bo, I didn't ask you if you could afford it, ask if you wanted to go. And it's interesting, my relationship with Ed has always been personal, but I got to hear what a Navy captain sounded like when he wanted to get your attention and, trust me, he got my attention. So I said, I said what you're supposed to say. I said, yes, sir.
Beau Beasley:About a month later I showed up at the airport, flew out to Idaho and we we gathered veterans from all over the country and we gathered, and the first night we stayed in a hotel before we flew out to the outfitter. And my roommate was a soldier, a staff sergeant, named Brian Mancini, and he was a combat medic and at the time I was the supervisor of a mobile intensive care unit. So of course you get two medics together. What are they going to do? They're going to talk about medic stuff, tell stories, that's right, that's right. Well, one time I saw. So we went back and forth and, not to put too far, to point on it, usually after about two or three minutes people don't want to hear anymore of my stories because they're pretty bad. But what I found out was Brian's was far worse than mine.
Larry Zilliox:Yeah.
Beau Beasley:And it dawned on me that, while I had had to make life and death decisions like any paramedic does or any first responder has to make certain life and death decisions at times I wasn't working on people that I knew. Brian was working on people that he knew, that was in his unit, you know, and he'd suffered a traumatic brain injury. He'd lost the use of one of his eyes completely. He was really suffering from migraine, headaches and dizziness, and they reached a point in our conversation where he was going through this litany of things that he'd been through and it was like a transition that I saw and I saw it many times during the process of this book and he went from being with me to going back to where he was and I remember him saying to me he said you know, I've lost my career, I've lost my health, I've lost my wife. What else do I have to give up in the service of my country? And I didn't have any answers for him. I didn't know what to say, but I was just there, I was with him and just listened.
Beau Beasley:We spent a week on the water together and the Bob Marshall wilderness and had a great time fishing. I met multiple veterans that I would end up writing about later on. Right before we launched, we're on the side of the river and everybody's going around introducing themselves and I was like the only non-military person there, although I had a military haircut and I still have a military haircut, although now I weigh more than I should and I don't look like I belong in the military if you look at me sideways. Everybody said who they were and what their rank was and what branch of the service they were, and it got around the knee and I'm kind of getting pretty uncomfortable and I'm kind of kicking around the gravel and finally got around where I was my turn to speak and I said my name's Bo Beesley, I'm a lieutenant with Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department and I don't work for the military, and the soldier beside me could tell I was a little tense and anxious and he walked over.
Beau Beasley:I'll never forget this. He walked over and he put his arm around me and he says it's okay, you're just like us, except you serve at home. There you go. And it really, man, even now it gets to me and I said no, I'm not like you, because nobody's shooting at me while I'm at work. Yeah, being shot at is not a job requirement for me, man. I had a great time that week and I watched these guys coalesce around each other, and that's the tribe.
Beau Beasley:That's the tribe that they miss so much from here Right being just an intern, and I came back and began working on the book and Ernest had interviewed even some people that were on that trip and I finally got to the point where I thought, okay, I need to give this to my wife to read and let her look at these narratives, because I didn't know how many I was gonna do. I ended up with 35 in the book. They're all true stories. I tell people the book isn't based on a true story, it is a true story. They're no composite characters, they're all real people. You see their pictures, you see where they're from, right. And so I gave her three or four narratives and a day goes by and I don't hear anything. And then day two goes by, and day three, and finally I'm like, hey, did you read those narratives? And she said, yeah. I said, what did you think? She said, well, you know, they're pretty good, which means it sucks. And I go well, what do you mean? It's pretty good. And she goes well, honey, I know you and I know how you write and you don't know these guys.
Beau Beasley:And I got very angry, I got very defensive because I don't know how many hours I'd put into it. At that point I said well, I don't understand, what would you do then If I did this wrong? What would you do? And she said to me isn't there a program near here? I said, yes, there's two. There's one at Fort Belvoir Run by Bob Gartner, who's a program lead down there, and the other one is in Quantico Marine Base of, run by Marty Lacksburg, a multiple tour combat Marine. And she said well, honey, my advice is quit writing, stop, don't do anymore. Start going to these program meetings and just be with them, just be there. Don't write about them. Be there, be a part of what they're doing, just be a fly on the wall. And so I went to Bob and Marty. I had lunch with them in West Springfield. I told them what my idea was to basically shadow these programs for a couple of years. And I remember Bob and Marty both saying, yep, that's fine, that's no problem. But I remember Marty said there's only one rule and as long as you understand that rule, everything's gonna be fine. I said, what's that? He said the veterans always come first. I don't care what's going on, the participants come first and as long as you understand that, we're gonna get along just fine. If you don't remember that, I will remind you, and of course, that never came up. I became very fast friends with Marty and I'm still very close with him to this day. Same thing with Bob Gardner.
Beau Beasley:And then I started writing narratives and none of these veterans came to me and said oh, please write about me. It was exactly the opposite. I had to beg them to let me interview them, and what I would say is hey, larry, I'm writing this book about Project Tilling Waters. I'd like to interview you for the book. Every single one of them, almost categorically, would get no. And then I would say well, look, here's the deal, larry. I wanna tell your story I think it's very compelling and hear the rules. I'll interview you, I'll write a narrative and you will get to see it first and you will get to correct anything that's wrong. You don't have nearly all control. You have 100% control and if you want something taken out, it's taken out, and then at the end, if you decide you don't wanna be involved, we'll drop you out of the book. Okay, and they went. Okay, and that's what happened. And the process would work like this I had a transcriptionist Cause in the beginning.
Beau Beasley:I tried to take notes and it was very distracting, so I'd bring a little tape recorder and I would start interviewing the person and you know two or three or four minutes and it was a little halted. After a while they forget the tape recorder's there and I would say tell me about this, tell me about that. And this book covers everything from Korean War veterans I had one Korean War veteran, a couple of Vietnam veterans all the way up to Afghanistan and Iraq, so it's spanned 30, 40 years. I told him you have complete and total control. And I said now I'm a by definition, being an outdoor writer. I'm a member of the media, which means I lie for a living, but as a joke. You know, you're gonna have to trust me, but nothing will be made public about your story until you approve it 100%. So they agreed about a third of the way through the book.
Beau Beasley:Brian Mancini killed himself the veteran that I'd spent so much time with, who'd been a combat medican, and he looked like he'd done well. He moved out to Arizona. He started his own nonprofit, as a matter of fact, actually saw him on Oprah Winfrey. He was well on his way to making a great recovery, but we lost him. Most people know the stats of about 22 veterans a day, killing themselves, and what happens is what most civilians don't understand is the veteran can leave the battlefield, but oftentimes the battlefield doesn't leave the veteran. I tell people it's kind of like you got hot wax and you stick a seal in it. Well, once that wax cools down, that seal, that mark, is there and it's not gonna come out unless you reheat it up or you sand it down. And fly fishing allows people to sand off a little bit.
Beau Beasley:I continue the process. I got very upset. I don't know how much I cried about Brian dying and I don't know how much I thought well, what else? You know what could I have done? How come he didn't call me? How come he didn't reach out? And oftentimes people get isolated and they hurt so much they can't reach out, or they mask their pain primarily through alcohol or drugs and they self-medicate, which often is even more of a problem, because a lot of these veterans are on medication to begin with and then they take alcohol on top of it and it just makes things worse.
Beau Beasley:But oddly enough, it was a very, very, very long process, because I'd write for a while and then I'd have to stop, and then I'd write for a while, and then I'd have to stop. And the process would work like this I'd finally get you to let me do an interview and I'd tape it. I would then send that tape of that hour long hour and a half long conversation to a professional transcriptionist, like a court reporter, and they would send me back the transcript. Then I'd read it over or listen to it multiple times and then I'd write the narrative. And then I would send the narrative to the veteran and say, larry, is this right? Well, that part's right and that part's right.
Beau Beasley:But Bo, this part where I talk about wanting to kill myself or where I admit to you, I put my service revolver in my mouth every day for almost a month. Man, we gotta take that out. My wife's not gonna understand that. That's gotta come out. And then I would rewrite it a second time and then send it back, and then they would approve it or make changes. Then I have to send it to my publisher to be proof, read the photographs to be put in and writing the captions for the photographs. Then I'd have to send it to you again to get it approved. Yep, that photographs right. Yes, you've got the right rank. I forgot. I wasn't at this fort during that time. I was at that fort. Really, I was assigned to this ship, not that ship, because it covers all the branches at the service except SpaceX SpaceX.
Larry Zilliox:Yeah.
Beau Beasley:Space Force. Space Force, I'm sorry, I'm thinking of that's all right.
Larry Zilliox:When did you send it to your editor? Did she move the corrections or did she give it back to you on paper?
Beau Beasley:No, she would make. I would write the first draft, then she would edit it, then I'd send it to the veteran, then they would send back their changes, then she would edit it again, then I would send it to the publisher and then, a final time, it would get read by a third-party proofreader, because after you edit your stuff so much you don't see your own mistakes. Then they would send it back and then I would send it to the veteran a final time. I did that 35 times. So imagine having 35 supervisors. That's what it was like, not counting the publisher.
Larry Zilliox:Well, I will say this. Layla edited a book for me and I remember when she gave it back to me on paper, it was like I had to write a second book. Oh yeah, I mean, I couldn't believe it.
Beau Beasley:You're looking and you're going. Where is the black print? I see a whole lot of red, but I don't see you know. Yeah, so I understand how much work this was. From the time of concept to publishing was nine years, Wow, and I estimate I spent a minimum of 5,000 hours, when you count travel time going from, because these interviews, this isn't something I can do over the phone. Yeah, now, sometimes I would do a follow-up interview over the phone, but 95% of them had to be done first person, in their presence, and oftentimes I'd have to interview people multiple times because they would tell me more on the second interview, right, right, or they would remember something, or they would say, oh, I forgot, that reminds me.
Beau Beasley:And there were times where a veteran would be talking about some horrific experience they were having and they would say, can you cut the tape off? And I'd go, okay, and I cut it off, and they would tell me some horrific event that they wanted to get off their chest. And then we cut the tape recorder back on and start over. And I remember my transcriptionist. She would send me notes. Her name was Allie McDaniel, out of Richmond, and she just Allie did a fantastic job, but she would send me notes like how could they do this? Day in and day out? You know, I couldn't do this for a day, much less being on a forward operating base for six months at a time. I couldn't do this one day, much less six months.
Beau Beasley:And I knew I had somebody ask me one time. When did you realize you were getting really good material? And I realized two things happened. Number one I started having nightmares. I wasn't the one that experienced the trauma. I'm getting a secondary, you know, down the road, sometimes 25 years later. Yeah, I said that was the first hint, that I thought I was getting really good material. The other was the more than a dozen times where I was crying so hard I couldn't see the screen when I'm typing the narrative and I have to stop because I'm crying so hard.
Beau Beasley:And I just had a veteran who I really admire, who I mentioned in the book, who was a multiple tour combat Marine, and I remember him giving me some advice about the book because I was so intimidated I didn't want it to be about me. He said listen, you just interview these guys and these guys and you write exactly what they tell you and not another GD word and you keep all the politics out of it, and that's exactly what I did. It's completely a political book got zero politics. It's just about their service and what they went through. And what I found out was I went all the way back.
Beau Beasley:Like I said, I interviewed a Korean war veteran, walt Kerry, who I really admired and respected, and I also talked to Lefty Cray, and Lefty Cray is probably at the time he's going on now but at the time he was the most famous fly fisherman in the world and he told me about his service. Even I know him and I don't fly fish. Yeah, I mean, he was so famous. He was so famous that the US Postal Service made stamps after the flies he created. I mean he was beyond the icon.
Beau Beasley:I think he wrote like 25 books so, and he would columnist for 30 years for the Baltimore Sun or something like that. He is the modern grandfather of fly fishing and he was telling me about his service in World War II. He fought at the Battle of the Bulge, he liberated a concentration camp and the amazing thing to me was listening to him talk to me about his stories and what he went through and how he felt and what it was like to be in a firefight. Was it any different than the men or women that served in Afghanistan and Iraq? They were not identical, but pretty darn close.
Larry Zilliox:The experience itself is very, very similar. It's really the equipment. That's the only difference, right.
Beau Beasley:Correct. Yeah, equipment. Yeah, the technological differences. Yeah, the advances. I remember I had a guy that I worked for in the fire department named Mark Williams, great firefighter, and he'd been in the Army, and he said at that point I'd been promoted to captain. And he said, captain, the problem is, when you go to war, you get dirty. It's not about what you want to do, it's about what you're forced to do, and sometimes you're in a no-win situation. No matter what you decide, you're gonna be wrong. And he said the problem. I'll never forget this. He said, captain, when you go to war you get dirty. And then you come home and find out you can't get it off of you.
Larry Zilliox:Yeah.
Beau Beasley:And this book is my attempt to help these men and women tell their stories, because my main objective was to honor the men and women that I got to interview and know and, quite frankly, if I may be so bold, that I love, because they told me very, very personal, intimate details about themselves. And I joked with some of the guys and I said you know, you know Spider-Man, but I know Peter Parker. You know Batman, but I know Adam West. Right, you know Superman, but I know Clark Kent. I know the person on the battlefield and off the battlefield. I know what haunts them. I know the demons that they have to some extent. And it was like interviewing these people was like not in a religious context, but it was like being in a holy place, and most people don't know it. Holy means separated, it means other, right, you're Christians that might be listening to the Trinitarian concept holy, holy, holy. Other other other God is so unlike us we can't understand it. Well, the experiences that these men and women have are not like what we have and we cannot fully grasp what it's like. I remember interviewing a British Marine and he had helped during the fought. He participated in the Falklands War, he was a Royal Marine and he talked about how the paratroopers dropped into the Falklands. They, the Marines, came over on a ship. They had their engagement and he said they packed up all the shoots and got back on the plane and flew back to England and within 36 hours they were back in England. He said it took us two months to get home on ship and he said we were far better off than the guys that 48 hours ago they'd been trying to shoot people and shoot and then they're walking down the street in London. He said they had no time to decompress, they had no time to process. What happens is what people don't understand who haven't been in tight groups or units the closest I ever experienced.
Beau Beasley:When I was in the fire department. I had my last day at work and I was the senior paramedic on my shift and I was the captain and I got relieved my last night at work and you have the option of working all night or the department will send someone to relieve you at six o'clock at night, quite frankly, cause they don't want you to get killed your last night at work. They don't want you to get hurt. That's good. So the guy came in and relieved me and put his gear on and the alarm went off and I watched all my guys get on that engine and leave going to emergency without me and I broke down and cried like a five year old because I realized I wouldn't go be on that fire engine anymore and nobody was gonna say well, captain, what do you want us to do now? Cause I wasn't captain Beasley anymore, I was just Bo.
Beau Beasley:The uniform came off and there I was and you know my wife could care less than I was a shift commander, right. As a matter of fact, my very first day as a captain I was a lieutenant for a long time. In the fire department there's firefighter, technician, master technician, lieutenant, captain. After captain comes battalion chief and I met work my first day. I was a lieutenant for a long time. So I actually concentrate and say you know, fire station 31, captain Beasley speaking. My wife said captain Beasley, this is chief Beasley, how are you doing this morning, right? So my wife doesn't care that I was a shift commander, right, and this doesn't mean anything.
Beau Beasley:And these men and women not only lose their careers, but they're no longer attached to a unit and in the military it's mission first. I don't care what it is. And when you're a Marine assigned to a expeditionary force, or you're an airman assigned to a squadron, or you are a naval officer or you're part of the 82nd Airborne, and then you get hurt and six months later you're just Fred from Paduca and you're not attached to anything anymore and you lose your focus, you lose your career and your identity slips away from you. And what project healing waters and other organizations help these veterans do is to realize that now they have a new mission and they have a new life. And fly fishing just helps them connect to the water and to be outside and then to enjoy nature. And then what happens is, over time, these veterans, that water starts washing away some of those bad experiences that they had. Or they meet another veteran that comes up to them and says I know what you're going through. One of the most amazing experiences I saw myself firsthand was I had a Marine Lieutenant young fella, 20 something, maybe 25, lost both his legs in a landmine Talking to a Vietnam veteran who was a double amputee and seeing them together talking to each other, you knew that they could communicate on a level that nobody else could.
Beau Beasley:The other thing is the reason I wrote the book was to honor these men and women who sacrificed so much. And the thought occurred to me. It actually occurred to me while I was on the salmon middle folk of the Salmon River. What had the war in Iraq and Afghanistan cost me? Nothing, nothing. I didn't have to give up a cup of coffee from Starbucks. These other people were dying or have a permanent disability.
Beau Beasley:And they're volunteers, correct, all volunteer, military, correct. It's an all volunteer service. So they volunteer for this service. And less than 1% of Americans are in the military. Probably half of that does combat. And that's not to say that support roles are not important. I don't know if this is true or not, but I heard, for every soldier that's on the front line, there's three to five people behind that person, keeping that person supplied or whatever it's doing paperwork. Well, they have to eat, they have to have uniforms, they have to have ammunition, they have to have medical care. They have, you know, I don't think people understand how good we have it in this country and when I meet a veteran, I always tell him the same thing.
Beau Beasley:Matter of fact, I did it this morning. I was at the grocery store and saw a guy that had a first cavalry hat on. And I walked over and I shook his hand and I said sir, I just want to thank you for your service. I never miss a chance to vote because of men like you, or don't miss a chance to vote because of women like you who serve. I never miss a chance to vote, and the only reason we're not speaking German, japanese or Arabic is because your brothers and sisters are sleeping in Arlington. That, and the grace of God, that's it. We live in such a relative ease here in America. We have it so good.
Beau Beasley:I'm surrounded by people that complain this is wrong and that's wrong, and this part is wrong in the country and that part's wrong. Yeah well, we're still the greatest nation on earth. And if you don't think so, load your happy rear, end up and you make sure you go over to Saudi Arabia and tell them how they're doing it wrong. You make sure you tell the people in Cuba that it's wrong. You make sure, for sure, make sure you go to Iran or North Korea. Ask the people in Russia how great the government works when they complain about it and see what happens to you.
Beau Beasley:So it sacrificed so much, and not just them, larry, as you well know it's not just the servicemen and women that serve, it's their families that serve. Their families serve by proxy, and when mom or dad goes away for six months or eight months, they don't get that time back. If you're gone and you miss your daughter's 16th birthday, she's not gonna have another one Right when your son or daughter graduates from high school. You're not gonna get a chance to see that again when your wife has a baby and you're not there. Sorry, that's it. Uncle Sam needs you somewhere else. You know, when you raise your right hand and swear oath, there's nothing in that oath about convenience for you.
Larry Zilliox:No, no and you have a contract. You do what you're told. You're there hopefully to support your buddies, one on each side of you. You know it's mission oriented. Everything you do is mission oriented. You know you're not making many decisions. Pretty much everything you do is based on a decision made by somebody else and you don't have much say in the whole process and you just try to get through it the best you can and then if you're injured you come home and you get excellent treatment, but it's never really gonna make you whole.
Larry Zilliox:You're very fortunate because you've been able to interact with these veterans and really understand what they went through and what they're still going through, and I think that's really the benefit of the book is that the book is going to bring these stories to life for the reader, to give them a window into this world that they won't otherwise get. At best they get little snippets here and there something they see on TikTok or an interview with somebody, if they bother to watch it all or read something. But I would just recommend that pick up this book. It's gonna be available. I'll have a link to it in the show notes. Get a copy and share it, read it and pass it along.
Beau Beasley:Yeah, I'm having veterans. I had one by one recently at a fly fishing show where I was speaking and autographing the book, and he came and bought a second one at a different event and I'm like you've already got one, how can we bought a second one? He said this one's for my therapist. She needs to read this, and I have people that are buying books and giving them to their relatives. Or I'm having people take the book and give it to their parent so they can have some sense, because oftentimes when they come back from service, they're not the same people or they may have some issues that they have to deal with.
Beau Beasley:I remember Ed Nicholson saying project healing waters is a bridge from a dark place to a bright place, and we're just trying to get them over the bridge and there are a lot of organizations out there that are really good. What makes project healing waters good is that they usually meet weekly or bi-weekly, so there's some continuity there and it's not just hey, we're gonna go on a free fishing trip. Yes, occasionally you can apply to go to some destination like Montana or even Alaska. That's not what keeps guys involved or these gals involved. What keeps them involved is knowing that there's another veteran that knows how they feel. And I'll be honest, larry, I could write two more books about what I could not put in that book. It's just too intense. Just people just couldn't take it. The other thing that I had about seven veterans that in the end they just couldn't do it, yeah Right, and I interviewed a number of women and I mentioned this in the acknowledgement section of the book. I interviewed a number of women who'd been sexually assaulted, some by members of our own forces, according to them, and others by a complete stranger. I interviewed a veteran it's probably the greatest compliment I got during this book. She was at a multiple joint base where our forces were there in three or four other companies, like a fuel depot. They would come in.
Beau Beasley:Well, she got out of the shower one night and there was a guy waiting for her and he sexually assaulted her and I remember her saying that she fought and fought and fought and finally he put his hands around her throat and she said, bo, I realized he was going to kill me if I kept fighting. She was so traumatized Of course she didn't tell anybody and she came home and she was so traumatized she did not leave her house for a decade. She didn't leave her house for anything other than go on to a doctor's appointment. She didn't go grocery shopping, nothing. She didn't leave her house for Christmas. If her kids came to see her, that was fine. She never left her home ever in 10 years. She had multiple dogs and when she went in the shower all the dogs came in the bathroom with her. Then she got involved with Project Healing Waters and after about two years you couldn't tell it was the same person. It is amazing. And she got connected with other people. She's now helping other women and I remember because she was one of the people that I interviewed multiple times Because often it's like an onion right, there's layers and then there's layers and there's another layer and I wanted to do a follow up interview and we were at an event for Project Healing Waters and there's a big group of people there.
Beau Beasley:But we were at this hotel and it's one of those old, like two story motels right, this thing's probably 50 years old and I said, hey, I wanna come back and do an interview. And it ended up being about eight o'clock at night and I'm at the hotel. She knocks on the door, I open the door and we're gonna start the interview. And I blocked the door open and she said what are you doing? I said, well, I want the door to be open. Well, we're gonna talk about some pretty intense stuff. Why is the door open? I said, well, you know it's at night. You're in a hotel room with me, by yourself, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. And she said no, if I'm with you, I'm perfectly safe and that was probably one of the best compliments I ever got.
Beau Beasley:Yeah, during this book, to have veterans tell me their deepest, darkest fears and being trusted with that and trying to convey that to people that don't understand it. I told somebody it was like trying to. It's like being in a football field with a pile of gold dust on one end and you've got a pair of asbestos gloves and you've got to get that entire pile of gold dust to the other goal post without dropping any of it. That's what it felt like to me and it was so rewarding. I can't begin to describe what it's like.
Beau Beasley:And I remember recently I was at a fly fishing show and I was autographing books and one of the men I had written about, andrew Laffey, navy seaman, who was injured while he was on the USS San Jacinto. She recognized him. I said yeah, he's in the book and she went over and got his autograph on his section and I just thought that was so cool and I tried to do that. If I was somewhere where I was doing autographs and somebody I had written about was there, then I autographed it and then they autograph it.
Beau Beasley:So the book is, there's an acknowledgement section, then there's an introduction and it tells you how I got into the program and how I feel like my experience in the fire department prepared me to be able to in some way relate to these men and women, not in a combat role, of course, but seeing trauma, because you see some really bad stuff as a paramedic right Shooting, stabbing, electrocutions, amputation, snake bites. You know I've delivered babies on the side of the road, burn victims. You know trees in the houses, swift water rescues, burn victims. You have to fly out in a helicopter. I mean, I've seen a couple of things, but nothing compared to what a combat veteran might experience firsthand. I think it was because I had been in the fire department that a lot of these men and women trusted me, and being able to tell their story was just a great honor to do that.
Beau Beasley:But the objective was to honor them and women and to hopefully raise awareness for the civilian population to understand what it costs, to keep them free and to raise money for Project Healing Waters. Because the organization gets a percentage of every single book sold, no matter where it is, and if people are looking for it, you know they could try their local fly shop. I suspect Orvis will carry some. You know my own website, which is just my name bobeasley B-E-A-U-B-E-A-S-L-E-Ycom bobeasleycom. They can order it for me and I'll autograph it and mail it out to them. But every time a book is purchased, project Healing Waters gets a percentage. And what I want people to understand is I am not a wealthy person, so I can't write a big check. I'm not despite the fact that I've written a couple of guidebooks. I'm not good enough to guide some of these men and women, but what I can do is write so I could write and that's what I did.
Beau Beasley:And it doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter whether you're a veteran or not. If you were a veteran, you want to volunteer with Project Healing Waters great. But if you're just Joe Schmoe who wants to come help out, all veterans want is for you to be available and honest. That's it, because veterans, as you well know, can smell BS a mile away. So if you're not a sincere person, they're gonna pick up on it like that it's gonna no time right and they're not gonna. They just won't connect with you. But if you do, if you're just available, just don't be anybody that you aren't and people say, wow, how can I help? Volunteer, just volunteer, do whatever needs to be done.
Beau Beasley:And if you're somewhere where there's no Project Healing Waters program because I mean we have programs in every state but maybe you're in an area that doesn't have a Project Healing Waters Well, you can. You have an option of starting your own program if you're so inclined. Or maybe there are other organizations out there. Maybe you want to help warriors and quiet waters, maybe you want to help North Patriots and Anglers, maybe you want to help bold-faced fly a fish and maybe you want to help a good fly. In Texas there's plenty of. There's no shortage of need. So you can do good wherever you want. And it's not about a particular program, it's not about Project Healing Waters, it's not about warriors and quiet waters, it's not about heroes on the waters, it's about the veteran. The fly fishing is just a mechanism.
Beau Beasley:One of the best organizations in the country is an organization called Casting for Recovery, and it's primarily a women's group that helps women who have suffered from breast cancer. And it's the same concept as Project Healing Waters it's women meeting other women that have fall cancer. And you know, real recovery is another example, which is primarily for men. People don't care where they get help from, they just want help. Sure, right, in my 30 years in the fire department, you know what? Nobody ever asked me. Hey, listen, I'm dying. But before I take my last breath, can you tell me what did you make on your recertification exam? I really need to know what your qualifications are, right? Listen, my leg is barely hanging on. You know your uniform doesn't look exactly right. Did you iron that thing before you came to work today, right? Nobody says listen, my child is choking on a piece of candy. Before you render aid to my child, can you tell me what your political views are, because that's really important. No, nobody asks about that, nobody cares about that. They just want help.
Beau Beasley:And I remember this veteran saying to me when you're on the front lines and a bullet starts flying, nobody cares about the Constitution or the flag or anything. You're just trying to keep your buddies alive. And that's exactly what Lefty Cray told me about World War II. He said but when you're in the trench, you got the guy to your right and the guy to your left and that's it. You don't care about anything else. Yeah, and if you're on ship, you're there with your shipmates and my friend Ty Clark out of Chicago, you know they, the Navy is like a floating city. On that ship they're completely self-contained and they look after each other. Right, and the funny part is when you get veterans together, sooner or later they start jockeying back and forth.
Beau Beasley:Right, the Marines will start making fun of the Navy. Oh, yeah, right. And you'll hear stuff like well, of course, you know the Navy has to have the Marines, because somebody has to be the fighting force for the Navy, because they couldn't possibly do it. And I remember the Navy my friend Ty said to me the other day. He said you know why, if a Navy carries Marines around, right? I said no, why is that? He said because they're too dumb to walk by themselves. They don't know they have to and for God's sake, don't leave any crayons around, because they'll lead them Right.
Beau Beasley:And then the Air Force guys make fun of the other branch of the service and said none of y'all could qualify for the Air Force because in order to be in the Air Force you actually have to read and write, which is beyond most people's capacity in the Army, right? So when you see that, it's a healthy good thing. And the other thing I've noticed is once they start bonding, you'll see one veteran be able to look at another veteran and tell whether they're doing okay or not without talking to them. And sometimes they'll come up and there can be some pretty tough love, right. They might really get in their face and say hey, larry, I saw you last weekend. You looked like you were drinking too much. What's the deal?
Larry Zilliox:Yeah.
Beau Beasley:What's the deal with that? How are things with you and your wife? How are things with you and your kids? And you can't just walk up to somebody you don't know and try to hold them to account. Right Rules without relationship breeds rebellion. But these men and women had given so much of themselves and had been there, done that and got the t-shirt that they can. They have the right to challenge each other, and I've even seen it go to the point where they'll be talking about each other's medication. Hey man, I'm not kidding. I have actually seen them take off their prosthetic and hand it to the other person. Hey, try this. Have you thought about this? Have you thought about applying for that?
Beau Beasley:And one of the biggest things in the military is these are the last people to ask for help. Oh yeah, you just don't ask. You don't ask for help and you don't complain. And we need, as a country, we need to be available to the men and women that need it. Now let me say one more thing while I'm thinking about it. One of the mistakes people make is they think, oh, they go into the service and they get hurt and their life is over. Well, there are some people that go in and get hurt and they do have some challenges. That's probably I'm making this number up 5, 10 percent of the population in the military. The military does a lot of good for people that become adults. It gives them structure, it gives them authority, figure, it gives them something to strive for and to be a part of. So oftentimes the military, even combat situations, can make the person rather than break them. The American military today is probably one of the finest fighting forces in the world. What we need to be able to do is to help support these men and women when they come back, when they take that uniform off, when they're no longer. They're not captain anymore, they're just. They're not captain Nicholson, they're just Ed. Yeah, yeah, and I have seen. I saw it.
Beau Beasley:Six months ago I was at Harman's Cabins in West Virginia and I mentioned this in my book. Todd Harman is a friend of mine, but his family owns Harman's Cabins in West Virginia. They've been there for 50 years and usually the national capital region has an event there. In December, I watched a Coast Guard admiral working with people that would be the privates and sergeants. Never All. They found that he was admiral after the event was over, because rank means absolutely nothing to these guys and gals. There is no rank structure. They've already proven themselves. They don't right, it doesn't matter. I've seen corporals teach a kernel how to do something and do it well, sure. And it's not about rank, it's about relationships. So again, I was honored to write about.
Beau Beasley:There are 35 people in the book, ranging from various levels of participants to program leads, to regional coordinators, to just everyday for lack of a better choice of words everyday volunteers. But their stories are just as compelling, because without the volunteers there is no organization. Yeah, I'm sure you would agree here at Willing Warriors without the volunteer staff, the rest of it just stops. Yeah, you can't do it. There's not enough bandwidth.
Larry Zilliox:No, no, there isn't, and that's the way most nonprofits are. It's always the community that stands up and says we wanna help, we wanna make this available. Project Healing Waters is very fortunate that they have a lot of very good fly fishermen who participate, teach them how to tie flies, teach them how to fish, provide them with equipment and, in some cases, take them on these trips. It's a wonderful organization. The book is really something. It's Healing Waters Veteran Stories of Recovery, in their own words. We'll have a link to it where you can purchase it in the show notes, but I would recommend this to everybody, Both thanks for coming out and talking to us about it and Project Healing Waters. We really appreciate it.
Beau Beasley:Thanks for having me, larry. I appreciate it, and I would just say to any veteran out there who is looking for looking for some help or looking for an opportunity to learn about fly fishing or learn about the outdoors, to reach out to somebody. There are people that want you to be successful and they don't want you to be alone. They don't want you to be isolated. There are plenty of people willing to help. You just need to reach out. Reach out to them Again.
Beau Beasley:Project Healing Waters Fly Fishing is a great organization and there are other organizations out there too, and, larry, I just appreciate you having me here at Willing Warriors and I look forward to coming back again. My daughter volunteers here. She does, she's one of my new chef and you and I have been friends for many years and I appreciate your service, larry. I appreciate the fact that, as an airman who served a long time ago, you're still serving, you still care, you're still selfless, and that's what military service is about. It's about service over self. So thank you for your leadership and for all the good work that your organization and your volunteers here do at Willing Warriors.
Larry Zilliox:Well, we're very fortunate that we get the opportunity to do it. We get more out of it than we give For our listeners. We'll have another episode next Monday at 5 am. If you have any questions or suggestions, you can reach us at podcast At willingwarriorsorg. Until then, thanks for listening.
