S3 - E3 - Movie Night: The Jack and Henry Helpline

What's the strangest thing you've ever had to eat because of a diet? On today’s episode, Henry shares his bizarre onion-heavy diet prescribed by his Italian personal trainer, Alessandro. We also get into the world of kombucha, tasting various flavours and giving our unfiltered reactions. Plus, we're launching a new mini-series, "Jack and Henry Helpline," where you can leave us messages seeking advice, so stay tuned!

Ever had a grocery trip turn into a full-blown fiasco? Henry recounts his surreal experience with a Tesco click and collect order verification gone wrong, making us laugh and sigh in disbelief. 

Henry also gears up for his upcoming trip to New York, and we all dream about seeing Adele in Vegas. Between sips of kombucha and water, we also dive into the absurdities of trash TV, particularly the outlandish demands of the elite on "Below Deck." It's a mix of humour, relatable moments, and our shared love for pop culture.

As we gear up for the next Maldon Mud Race, we reminisce about our hilarious time at the Toby Carvery and the race itself, celebrating Jack's awesome finish and sharing behind-the-scenes shenanigans. We've got big plans for next year's race, including some wild costume ideas like dressing as Nicole Scherzinger as Norma Desmond. Wrapping up the episode, we hash out plans for a potential Broadway trip to see Nicole Scherzinger live, which leads to some laugh-out-loud banter and a shocking revelation—one of us has never seen "Breaking Bad"! 

Join us for a laughter-filled episode you won't want to miss.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:22

you know jack, I'm on a new diet. Oh God, yes.

Speaker 2 0:25

No, I do, because you keep bringing up steak and vegetables into the dressing room. It's quite horrible, isn't it? It's just weird. I've got well, you were halfway through Spotlight tonight and you were munching on some steak strips, on some ribeye.

Speaker 1 0:41

I have a new Italian personal trainer called alessandro of course, and alessandro shout out to you um, he's put me on literally the strictest diet in the world, where I can basically only eat onions. Can you eat eggs?

Speaker 2 0:59

uh, yes, well, hopefully because of our campaign, oh of course, actually, that would be great for me.

Speaker 1 1:05

Yeah, that would be great, because I could put in my onions and red peppers in there.

Speaker 2 1:08

Do you put broccoli in an omelette? I think you could. I think you can get most things in an omelette.

Speaker 1 1:13

Jack your cat is making an awful lot of noise. He's cleaning himself.

Speaker 2 1:16

And it's really coming through the mic. I know he's Do you have to do that in here.

Speaker 1 1:21

We're trying to record a podcast, Lucifer. Well, we're doing this podcast from your home, we are. I've just got your water. You have no. Thank you for the water. Well, you offered me kombucha. Yeah, have you not tried kombucha?

Speaker 2 1:34

Well, I've heard of it. I heard it in another podcast and I thought I'm going to try that because it's meant to be good for you, right?

Speaker 1 1:41

okay. But is it nice? Because lots of things that are good for you aren't like, for example. For example, when I've had my meal plan with alessandro. My breakfast consists of and well, it's sometimes a steak, but other times it's greek yogurt with pecans, bananas and raspberries, which is lovely, except for the fact that the greek yogurt has no honey on it. See, it's gonna happen. Yeah, that's quite a. I've eaten a lot. The greek yogurt has no honey on it.

Speaker 2 2:04

See it's gonna happen. Yeah, that's quite a. I've eaten a lot of greek yogurt recently yeah, I have like strawberries, blueberries and honey, honey, bananas and sometimes a bit of protein powder in there. I adore greek yogurt and honey.

Speaker 1 2:17

Yeah, I love a pecan. It's my favorite nut, of course, of all the nuts of all the nuts, it's my absolute favorite pistachio because you've got to like work for the nut. Yeah no, I can't deal with working. I once went through st pancras station and went into starbucks at like 11 pm after seeing a show. I think it was hamilton and there was this man sat in starbucks by himself, just kind of peeling away at some nuts, like some mountain of nuts. It was terrifying, terrifying man.

Speaker 2 2:50

Kombucha is basically.

Speaker 1 2:52

Yeah, sorry.

Speaker 2 2:53

Fermented tea. Huh, yeah, so it's got like good back to. It's like a I don't know. Let me get it. Let me get one. Yeah, no, go and get one.

Speaker 1 3:01

There's different flavours, like a I don't know, let me get it. Let me get one. Yeah, no, go and get one. Okay, is it still? Or sparkling, uh, sparkling.

Speaker 3 3:13

How weird.

Speaker 2 3:14

I just want to also point out, like Ginger Lemon, we're recording this podcast, but we're doing it Gogglebox style.

Speaker 3 3:19

We are Because we're also we.

Speaker 1 3:25

So we've got it on my sofa in my living room, right. So this one's ginger lemon.

Speaker 2 3:28

It's just interesting. It's only seven calories, but it's just an interesting taste. It's not going to be everybody's cup of tea. So you've got raspberry, lemonade, ginger lemon and wild berry, and there is another flavour as well, but I think it's peach flavour.

Speaker 1 3:41

No, not having that Wow.

Speaker 2 3:48

If anyone wants to sponsor us by getting us some kombucha.

Speaker 1 3:51

Can we start to do this at the bar?

Speaker 2 3:53

Yeah, I don't know if people would want kombucha.

Speaker 1 3:57

Like Lucifer.

Speaker 2 3:59

No, he's gone now, right.

Speaker 1 4:00

Evil cat. Okay, I'll try a raspberry lemonade, if I'm allowed, yeah go for it.

Speaker 2 4:07

Thank you. I want to see what you think about kombucha.

Speaker 1 4:10

I'm going to hold the mic between my legs, because we've never done it like this before. Normally our mics are on stands, but today we're just holding them, so I'm going to just put my mic between my legs.

Speaker 3 4:21

That was a great sound.

Speaker 2 4:24

Wow Okay, is there anything better than that sound on a warm day no, it's a good sound, I mean hang on I mean the face that you pulled there. I mean, look, it's not water it's not water. Well, welcome break for me.

Speaker 1 4:41

Let me open mine I I'm not sure what to make of it. I mean, it's not, it isn't amazing, it's not um, it's not unpleasant but. I mean, it's certainly not unpleasant, but I'm not going it's like you're right in the middle.

Speaker 2 4:54

It's like vinegary, but it's like it almost tastes healthy because it doesn't taste nice. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 5:00

like should we tell people what we're doing? I feel like we've just sat here and just kind of ranted to people. This is a new mini-series on the All Exclusive Podcast. That's going to happen every other week, so we have a guest on then. It's one of these and this is the Jack and Henry Helpline. Hello, you're through to the Jack and Henry Helpline. How can we help you? Please leave your message after the tone To re-record your message. Key hash at any time. That was really nice, yeah.

Speaker 2 5:31

I bet we get.

Speaker 1 5:33

No voice messages.

Speaker 2 5:34

Like three and then none.

Speaker 1 5:36

Yeah, maybe a theatre company can do it. Yeah, we'll think of that We'll force them to. We'll say what a great idea though.

Speaker 2 5:45

Yeah, we'll think of that. We'll force them to. We'll say what a great idea though, yeah, we'll get people to. So anything you want us to help from us.

Speaker 1 5:48

We're very helpful people.

Speaker 2 5:50

Sorry, that kombucha is.

Speaker 1 5:52

Is it disagreeing with you?

Speaker 2 5:53

No, it's just, I just had to burp. But what we're going to do tonight is Jack and Henry's night in. We're on the couch and we're going to find the best thing to watch this evening. We're going to watch a film.

Speaker 1 6:05

Well, this is our first help, because I always find, when watching a film well, when trying to choose a film or a series to watch on Netflix, that I can't pick because there are too many options.

Speaker 2 6:20

Yeah, I agree, and there's too many different streaming services as well, so we're just going to go and find something to have a little look at with. What was that? What are we actually calling this feature again, jack and Henry Helpline oh yeah the Jack and Henry Helpline. With each week of the Jack and Henry Helpline, why does your name always come first? Well, it, henry Helpline sounds better henry and jack is too aggressive generally, henry I've got a better name.

Speaker 1 6:44

Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 2 6:46

yeah, okay, well, no just smooth it flows smoother into helpline.

Speaker 1 6:49

That's all right. Um, although actually on the cover art my name comes first does it.

Speaker 3 6:55

Yeah, yeah, because I'm on the left.

Speaker 1 6:57

Yeah, that's true, so it has to.

Speaker 2 6:59

It's weird that we sat the wrong way around then today no, we're sat the right way around.

Speaker 1 7:03

Yeah, no, but this is the way the picture was taken.

Speaker 2 7:05

Yeah, of course yeah, um, but anyway we are just we're gonna watch something tonight and we're gonna tell you all about it so that you can also find something to watch. So we're gonna go through a few things and, uh, find something for us to watch tonight, to entertain ourselves. What to watch tonight, didn't we?

Tesco Click and Collect Fiasco

Speaker 1 7:20

We did I actually I think that was the best I've done. Sweet transvestite tonight. Just clarify, henry is in the number in the show called sweet transvestite. Yeah, I'm not. I can't actually say that, because it would just be censored. No, I just thought I would. But no but it was a nice show, good audience as well.

Speaker 2 7:44

It's a monday night and uh an episode of the podcast went out today as well yes, it did, james.

Speaker 1 7:51

Yeah, and moxie it shows you how far in advance we're recording these, because I'm off to new york in a matter of days, so we're having to record basically a month's worth of podcasts in which actually is a good thing for us, because otherwise we won't do it. Remember that break where we just disappeared twice. That was the other one as well, the mid season break, where we had to record the catching up episode, and then we just caught up and left everyone but it's good to be back we're like Adele when she releases an album, yeah, and then she just disappears for like years.

Speaker 1 8:29

No one ever hears from her. I love watching clips of adele. Yeah, I would love to go to her vegas show. I mean, I would hate to go to vegas, but I'd love to go to that show. Yeah yeah right and I put my kombucha down yeah thank you for my water. I'm almost at my five liters, so that will get me over.

Speaker 1 8:44

I just thought I've got to be hospitable no, no, it's actually very helpful because I was thinking how am I going to get my five liters in? Yeah I'm at 4.5. Should we do it then, jack? Yeah, let's have a look at how we can help our listeners today. We have to give back sometimes because we see you, we hear you, we want you to tell your truth I still don't get why that is your catchphrase.

Speaker 2 9:05

Because I want people to tell their truth. Yeah, it's 2024 it's the year of truth. Which um famous streaming service should we go? I've been watching a lot of blow deck. I have to say. Did I mention this in the first episode?

Speaker 1 9:18

I may have cut it, probably for the best. Yes, I'd like to get into a proper trash tv.

Speaker 2 9:24

We need to watch an episode of that together we do, because that would be really interesting therapy, isn't it?

Speaker 2 9:28

there was one woman who would like ask for something. She was like they have like preference sheets of what they want for dinner and things like that, right, and they put she'd put like, um, eat seafood. Uh, like, on her preference sheet it was something really specific but not nothing near what was deserved, right, and it was like lobster starter. And she called over one of the stewardesses and went I don't really eat seafood. And she was like, okay, and she was like can I get something else? So then she then goes to get the chef to cook something else, right, and he is doing his nutting because they keep changing their orders left, right and center after he's already cooked them all this food, right, and then, like, they come back up and give her something and everybody else has, like this seafood linguine type thing. And then she's like why haven't I not got that? And they're like because you just said that you don't like seafood. And she went I never said that.

Speaker 1 10:27

And it's like it's the most ridiculous.

Speaker 2 10:29

Oh, I can't deal with people there's a lot of that in that sort of episode. This is why I don't like people Don't like people at all, but it's proper like trash TV, but it's like these people with so much money manned all these ridiculous things speaking of not liking people, I've got to share this story.

Speaker 1 10:47

Everyone at potter's resorts has been bored to death with this story since it happened. Alessandro oh my god again he gives me this meal plan, I have to go and get the ingredients to make it, so I go on a tesco, click and collect to our nearest tesco oh yeah, okay actually yeah, this is a story.

Speaker 1 11:16

I order the food on tesco click and collect. It's like a big shop. So I didn't want to do it because we don't have a ton of time on our hands at Potter's. So I order it, I get a taxi because I don't drive. And I arrive in the taxi and I go up to the lady. Well, she comes to the car to scan my code and she scans it. She goes yeah, okay, I'll be out in a second with the shopping. She goes back into the shop. She then comes back. She goes yeah, okay, I'll be out in a second with the shopping. She goes back into the shop. She then comes back and goes oh sorry, have you got your ID? I went uh, no, why do I? Why on earth do I need ID? And she went well, you've got to be over 18 to make a click and collect. I went okay, well, it didn't say this on the email. Like I've just read through the email again, it doesn't say that I need ID.

Speaker 2 12:07

No declaration.

Speaker 1 12:09

And I went so look, I can give you a photo of my passport or photos from my 20th birthday. Which one do you want? So she went okay, well, I'll take the passport then. So I showed her the photo and oh, okay, cool, thank you. And she went away and she came and and then another woman came back. She went. So my colleague tells me that you have given her a photo of your passport and yep, which she accepted yeah, which she accepted, and uh, she went okay.

Speaker 1 12:41

Well, we can't accept that, I'm afraid, because you do need a click and collect. You've got to be 18 for click and collect. Okay, cool.

Speaker 2 12:48

So what was the contents of your basket?

Speaker 1 12:52

Sunflower oil, broccoli, red peppers, a ribeye steak, some chicken breasts. I mean it was the most mundane. There was nothing in there that could like Red Bull. Even you've got to be like over 16 to buy it. Yeah, I understand that there was nothing in there that was even.

Speaker 2 13:13

You're not getting your jollies on with a red pepper, are you no?

Speaker 1 13:16

exactly. I mean, there was nothing in there that was remotely what was she expecting me to do Ferment it all and make alcohol.

Speaker 2 13:24

Well, you could do that, but to do ferment it all and make alcohol.

Speaker 1 13:28

Well, you could do that, but you're legally allowed to do that, if you. But my whole point is, I could have gone into tesco, walked a couple of steps through the door and bought these items. So she then accuses me of having a fake id. I'm like well, no, I don't have a fake id. What no id, um, which is a? Lot better yeah, yeah, um, and then she says well, look, you're obviously over 18.

Speaker 2 13:47

I went well, cool yeah, Where's the argument then? So give me my broccoli.

Speaker 1 13:51

So I'll have my broccoli, please. At this point the taxi meter's at about 30 pounds. My taxi driver is now getting involved, saying I'll just give you my ID, yeah, and they're going no, because then you'll just give it to him and he's like well, yeah, yes, I will give him his vegetables.

Speaker 2 14:07

Yeah.

Speaker 1 14:08

So then anyway, this dot-com manager because apparently that's a job title comes out called Jordan, Jordan, but with an O Jordan. She comes up to me and goes well, look, I can't give it to you, so. So you're gonna have to go and get your id, because it's our policy. And then the taxi took me back to potter's, so we go back to potter's.

Speaker 2 14:32

He must have been a very patient man. Well, his meter was on, he loved it.

Speaker 1 14:35

Yeah, that's true um, I went and looked, my id turned out my id was back home in surrey. So drives me back to tesco in lowest oft. I then you know it's about 40 pounds the tax meter so the original woman comes out oh, you're back.

Speaker 2 14:54

She says yes, I am back. Did you think you were going to scarper? Because?

Speaker 1 14:59

yeah, oh, I've paid for the shopping and it's right there, my peppers are there, I can see them. So anyway, I then go look. I can't find my id. But I've just double checked the email that I got sent and it says nothing about me having to bring id to prove that I'm over 18 to pick up my broccoli. So she then interrupts with to be honest, I don't need to be listening to this right now, so I'm going to go and get my manager. Anyway, jordan comes back.

Speaker 1 15:28

Jordancom managercom, managers jordan every little helps jordancom jordancom and jordancom comes up to me and goes, so she tells me that you don't have your id. I went.

Speaker 2 15:46

That's correct. It's fairly well established in this.

Speaker 1 15:49

Yeah that is. That is very accurate, jordan. And I said look, it doesn't say on your website. And she went well, look, there's a sign above our staff room door that says you need to be over 18. I went well, I'm sorry, jordan, that I didn't do my tesco shop above your staff room door where I could have seen the sign. Maybe take a picture of that sign and put it on an email. Yeah, and she then said well, we're not giving you the shopping. I went, so can I have a refund? Then she went yeah, I went. Okay, cool, end of conversation. Then I'll take the refund and I'll go inside and get it. And she went well, there's no need to be rude, I went. Well, I mean, you and your colleagues have been quite rude and and unhelpful, and unhelpful and have no common sense. And she then goes well, yeah, okay, I guess that's how it is.

Speaker 2 16:41

Then can I just say what does she think was going to happen if they'd have given you your peppers and ribeye steak?

Speaker 1 16:47

Well, she said to me, I'd have gone back and told people that they didn't ID me. Told what people. If I'd phoned up the Telegraph and said Jordancom didn't ID me for my broccoli, they'd have just gone.

Speaker 2 17:04

oh cool, we don't care.

Speaker 1 17:06

We don't care. Obviously she didn't ID you for your broccoli. They'd have just gone. Oh cool, we don't care, we don't care. Obviously she didn't id you for your broccoli and sunflower oil. So after she told me I was being rude, she continued ranting at me and I went. But look, your colleague earlier said I was obviously over 18. Yeah, and she went yeah, but it's think 25, you've got to be clearly over 25 and I'm sorry, but you don't look over 25. To which I then said jordan, it's all in the skincare, this is true, and you know what she said. Right, you're just being rude. Now get out. Well, that wasn't. She kicked me out of click and collect.

Speaker 2 17:37

She said I'm ending the conversation here did you then go and have to do your shopping in tesco? I then went and had to pick my own things and did you then go up to the click and collect afterwards with your bag of shopping going.

Speaker 1 17:48

I should have look at my pepper I should have taken the other bag and offered to put it back on the shelf, which is what they had to do. Yeah, like they had to go and put it all back. This is what I just don't get. Why don't you give it to me to put back and instead I'll just take it?

Speaker 2 18:03

yeah, that's true I true, I mean you could have she could have escorted you into the shop and then replaced each thing.

Speaker 1 18:10

Yes, you should have followed her around, put it back then taken it. Oh my goodness, that would have been amazing if I'd followed them around and every time they put an item back, pick it up again. I should have picked it up. Anyway, that is my trials and tribulations of Jordancom.

Speaker 2 18:27

Wow.

Speaker 1 18:27

So Tesco Lowestoft. Thank you for that. That's definitely not going into Gratitude Corner. No, that's Ungratitude, Corner, we're ungrateful for you, you ungratefulcom. Honestly, tesco sort out your policies. That's terrible. If that even is a policy, it definitely doesn't exist. I don't know geordone's made it up can't believe that, right. Anyway, any of the new doctor who I watched awful christmas special I did. I didn't watch that, did you not?

Speaker 2 18:59

with with the musical number I tell you what it looks like. Ah, what? What was the year? I saw a thing, it was a meme that, like this year for Christmas, we've got Doctor who on TV, we've got Gavin and Stacey coming back, we have got Wallace and Gromit on our screens, we've got basically we're back in 2008. Good year 2024 is Christmas 2008.

Speaker 1 19:24

Which is great. I'm all here for that.

Speaker 2 19:26

I cannot wait for Gavin and Stacey to come back, nor can I have you watched any of Race Across the World.

Speaker 1 19:32

I saw season one and season two. Would you recommend season?

Speaker 2 19:36

four. I don't know if I've been watching season four, that's just, I've been watching a season, but I don't know which one it was.

Speaker 1 19:42

Race Across the world is a good concept.

Speaker 2 19:44

I think we should do it could you imagine this is my point. Could you imagine, us imagine mark brewer doing it?

Speaker 1 19:49

he wouldn't get past yarmouth I think I'm trying to work out if he'd be amazing or terrible, because I think he'd either manage to sweet talk people and kind of find his way into things, or but I think he the walking would let him down.

Speaker 2 20:04

The walking would let him down, but then maybe he would find a way around that. He's very good at that sort of thing, but he'd also have completely forgotten things like do you remember?

Speaker 3 20:14

how we had to hear about the.

Speaker 2 20:15

Esther, yeah, yeah, that's true he's always notoriously unlucky with travel. He decided to phone my mum's office. Maybe we should ask him. So we he decided to phone my mum's office. Maybe we should ask him. So we're recording this in a different order, but maybe tomorrow, when we record the next episode, we should ask him how he would get on in a programme like Race Across the World, or what do you think on Hunted?

Speaker 1 20:38

Oh my goodness. No, the reason he would do terribly on Hunted would be guests. Yeah, that's true, potter's guests would find him.

Speaker 2 20:46

It would be. It would be his biggest asset and also his biggest downfall.

Speaker 1 20:51

You also know he would just end up going live.

Speaker 2 20:52

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 20:54

And then there's just traces IP, and they'd find him through that.

Planning for Mud Race Costume Theme

Speaker 2 20:58

Yeah, his downfall would be going live. Yeah, hunters, how are you?

Speaker 1 21:04

Hunters. How are you? Have you found?

Speaker 2 21:07

me, I'm just, I'm just jeff the poet I'm just at jeff's house.

Speaker 1 21:13

Here we are, sat in the toby carvery yeah, that would be mark.

Speaker 2 21:20

I thought the game was meant to be hard. Oh, here's a hunter now hunter getting alive, gets like.

Speaker 1 21:28

Then you do that thing where he uses his flip phone case to like turn the camera around, but it just spins in a different direction completely yeah, that was a lot of fun.

Speaker 2 21:37

Um at the mold of mud race it really was like watching well, not watching him struggle wasn't a lot of fun, but it was it was when?

Speaker 1 21:43

because we filmed that video.

Speaker 2 21:45

Yeah, and if you've not seen that yet, go and go. And, yeah, go and have a look. It's a great video. By the way, thank you for editing that.

Speaker 1 21:52

No that's all right. Um, it was the only reason I was there, apart from to support jack. The reason that I was allowed to basically skive work and not be there was because I said I would do that video. Yeah, and for part of it where I had to do tape up Jack's shoe, there was a bit of dialogue before that which I really wanted to put in. However, I asked Mark to film that section of the day and when I looked back at the footage despite me telling him at the beginning that you have your finger over the camera, and he went no, I don't, Henry, no, I don't, and I go. Well, I mean, you do.

Speaker 3 22:28

He went no, no, no, no, which is really easy to see through the screen.

Speaker 2 22:34

Yeah, you've got your finger over something, but that is Mark Brewer and technology.

Speaker 1 22:38

Yeah, that is. I had to scour and search for those aerial shots of you.

Speaker 2 22:46

They were good. Yeah, I was impressed by find them on youtube. Pinpoint your decision with pinpoint. Let's face it.

Speaker 1 22:52

I was very easy to spot and why you were because of the lycra and the hot pants you were, but you'd be stunned of how many people were wearing the identical shade of blue yeah, there was a t-shirt for you there was a lot of blue and at one point I just kept zooming into other people who weren't you well, I'm glad you found me eventually I did find you. You were quick through that water, like a whippet, I mean really quick yeah, the water I was.

Speaker 2 23:18

That's what I. That's because I was like I have to get ahead at the start and I couldn't really and should, if I was closer to the front, think of how well I would have done yeah. I think where did you come in the end?

Speaker 1 23:28

55th, out of 360.

Speaker 2 23:32

It's not bad, though, is it, which is actually pretty good we announced the other day that I'm doing it next year. Well, yes, I was thinking about this. Obviously, you agreed that you'd do it. Yes, why don't we sign up now?

Speaker 1 23:46

What right now Like right now, oh God. I just Well, we can. What are we going as?

Speaker 2 23:54

I don't know. We can discuss that. I've got an idea. What do you mean? You've got an idea.

Speaker 1 23:58

I'd like to go as Nicole Scherzinger, as Norma Desmond.

Speaker 2 24:03

If that's important to you, why, why, why will you be wearing flippers? Cause?

Speaker 1 24:08

of of normally large feet no because she wears, and it's the Halloween costume I also want to choose this year. So it may be, you know, it may be bad that I'm repeating it, but also it's kind of iconic. She wears this like, basically, it's this, this black slip with just loads of blood.

Speaker 2 24:29

Okay, I really want to see this.

Speaker 1 24:32

What the photo of Nicole? No, the Me dressed as her.

Broadway Trip Discussion

Speaker 2 24:37

No, the show oh.

Speaker 1 24:39

Sunset yeah, comes to New York in January.

Speaker 2 24:44

I can't. I'm not allowed any. My January is ridiculously busy. Okay, well then go before, then I'll see it twice January. I can't.

Speaker 1 24:47

I'm not allowed any. I'm my.

Speaker 2 24:47

January is ridiculously busy, okay.

Speaker 1 24:49

Well then go before, then I'll see it twice or after. I think it's running until September. If you can get to June, anytime in 2025, we can see it.

Speaker 2 24:58

It will change your life is it on until June 2025? Yeah, on Broadway maybe we'll go have a trip to New York yeah, on broadway maybe we'll go have a trip to new york because it opens.

Speaker 1 25:07

I'm going just after it opens we'll have a look at that and it will probably be extended as well. But you want to see it with nicole yeah, yeah, yeah, and her feet. I want to go just for her feet you know, we had a much longer conversation about nicole scherzinger's feet that tara scott deemed inappropriate in our episode with james at the start, um in an already heavily censored episode.

Speaker 2 25:29

Yeah, we were censored because of james's, and we're not allowed to say the word. But his interest in feet begins with an f fin trust rhymes with lettuce yes, kind of Fintrest Rhymes with Lettuce, yes, or lettish Lettish, but we're not saying the word.

Speaker 1 25:52

Tara, but his foot.

Speaker 2 25:56

Lettish. Do you know what I'm ready to watch again? What are you ready to watch again? Breaking Bad.

Speaker 1 26:01

I've never seen it.

Speaker 2 26:02

You've never seen Breaking Bad so the two big.

Speaker 1 26:07

Do you know what? The two breaking bad was one of them. Do you know what the two definitive makings of netflix was?

Speaker 2 26:15

the two series that made netflix I think breaking bad is definitely one of them oh no, no, but yes, it is, yeah, but it.

Speaker 1 26:23

But it isn't like an opinion thing, it's literally just it is just yeah, the two series making a murderer no, no, it's house of cards, house of cards, and I'm going to demonstrate this. You know the sound every time you start netflix the yes, yeah. Do you know where that came from? No, um, I think it was actually han zimmer who created that sound. What? A man yeah I love han zimmer created it from.

Speaker 1 26:50

At the end of House of Cards, season one, the main character taps his signet ring on the table twice and they really upped the bass on it and just is what you hear on the table, and that is where they found their sound from.

Speaker 2 27:04

That's incredible. I've always wanted to watch House of Cards Never.

Speaker 1 27:06

Have you never watched it Never.

Speaker 2 27:07

I've always wanted to watch House of Cards. Never have you never watched it, Never watched it. I've always been told to but never got around to watching it.

Speaker 1 27:11

Maybe that's next on my. It is completely incredible. Loses the plot a bit in the final season.

Speaker 2 27:15

Yeah, however, they tend to don't they.

Speaker 1 27:17

Absolutely amazing.

Speaker 2 27:19

So what do you think? Should we put Breaking Bad on? I mean, this has really gone downhill in the last season. I think Breaking Bad never went downhill. They deliberately finished it before it went downhill and I promise you this is one of the best TV programs of all time. If I could go back and watch and not know what's going on.

Speaker 1 27:44

I just think it's a bit heavy for tonight.

Speaker 2 27:48

So you don't want to start Breaking.

Speaker 1 27:49

No.

Speaker 2 27:49

Okay, not tonight, not tonight. Jack, it's a bit heavy for tonight so you don't want to start breaking. No, okay, not tonight, not tonight. You know one of those films that you always go back to. It's like a home comfort over the hedge great film what? What a film, excellent film. That's the. I watched that not so long ago. Actually just as a little that's the one.

Speaker 2 28:07

It isn't a raccoon and he basically the synopsis is it's a raccoon and he goes to steal food off a bear that has got all this hibernate for the winter, he's got all this food, and then the food gets destroyed because it rolls down a hill and gets hit by a lorry and then the bear is like you have to get me all of this stuff on this list, otherwise I will eat you. Basically, such a good film. And he goes to this house, like this place where the forest has been taken over by a housing estate, and these woodland creatures that have been hibernating wake up and then there's this, this like estate there, and he recruits them to help him get the all the stuff back.

Speaker 1 28:49

But it's very funny such a good film is it on netflix? I don't think it is. Let me have a look.

Speaker 3 28:55

Oh, my goodness, it is it is great film.

Speaker 1 28:59

What a film. I'm still not sold on over the hedge. What a film, though. Great film. Right, keep going down jack. Do you ever find yourself on YouTube late at night All the time Watching what Would you Do?

Speaker 2 29:12

No, what's, what Would you Do? Have you never seen this? What is, what Would you Do?

Speaker 1 29:16

I feel like I get those videos recommended every second of every day. John Quiniones, a US news anchor they set up cameras in a restaurant or in a cafe or somewhere and they'll pay actors to do this. So to do this scenario, you know it could be a customer's really rude to a waitress, or you know something like that. Or um, customers refuse to leave a tip for lesbian waitress is ones they do, and then they just see what does the public do? Who reacts? Who comes?

Speaker 2 29:57

in. I think would be a great program. I am such a people watcher.

Speaker 1 30:00

It is exceptional. You must watch it on YouTube.

Speaker 2 30:03

What would you do what?

Speaker 1 30:04

would you do Maybe we'll watch that in a moment and then he always comes in and he goes it's okay, 're on, what would you do? I'm?

Speaker 2 30:15

john quiniones. Could you imagine if, if, if one day we just said that but we weren't on, what would you do? You could you imagine? Of course we just walked in, walked, walked in. Just no context, it's okay, you're on, what would you do? I'm John Quiniones. And it's like what are you on about, like with no context. Yeah, you're on. What would you do? Yeah, and then what would you do is how they would react to being on. What would you do? And you did nothing.

Speaker 1 30:45

Yeah, you didn't even notice that there was a fire in the room.

Speaker 2 30:52

Jewish matchmaking. A matchmaker helps hopeful romantics find each other in this heartwarming series from the Emmy-nominated creators of Indian matchmaking.

Speaker 3 31:02

Matchmaker. Matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch, but it has to be Jewish Matchmaker. Matchmaker, look through your book and make me a perfect match For Papa make him a scholar.

Speaker 1 31:21

Okay, stop it there.

Speaker 3 31:22

For Mama make him rich as a king. Where's the For me? Well, I wouldn't holler if he were as handsome as anything.

Speaker 2 31:33

I'm muting you. Oh, okay, somebody feed Phil, okay.

Speaker 1 31:37

Hang on. We wait seven series for somebody to feed Phil Somebody get him this man food.

Speaker 2 31:43

Somebody feed him. In this warm-hearted series, phil Rosenthal travels the globe enjoying local cuisine and culture, but it's just like donna kebabs in the advert. Is that kind of a danish accent? What was that? One don't really know.

Speaker 1 31:56

Hack my home should we scroll down jack? Yeah, let's have a look, because that's that, that's all reality top films british tv dramas the holiday, nothing.

Speaker 2 32:06

The holiday. Nothing beats a holiday. The holiday yeah.

Speaker 1 32:10

The holiday, the film yeah With with Cameron Diaz. Yes, jack Black, the Durrells, jude Law Beautiful series the Durrells.

Speaker 2 32:19

Have you watched Peaky Blinders?

Speaker 1 32:21

No, but Shane in the Potter's Theatre Company is a little bit like one with his flat cap and chain.

Speaker 2 32:27

He does wear his flat cap the Durrells.

Speaker 1 32:30

Have you watched the Durrells? No, oh my goodness, it's so stunning. We as a family must have watched the Durrells a billion times. It's actually one of those series that we go back to all the time. What is it? You know the book, my Family and Other Animals.

Speaker 2 32:45

No.

Speaker 1 32:45

By Gerald Durrell. Well, it's In 1935.

Speaker 2 32:54

Is it about a window? A window.

Speaker 1 32:57

A window in England facing dwindling funds. So Keely Hawes plays Mrs Durrell who, as you can read, there is a widow. Not a window, not a window, and she lives a really miserable life yeah in kind of gray england. Her children aren't very good at school, they're all kind of a little bit misfitty. Um, and she, they moved to corfu. Yeah, and it's when corfu is like obviously super cheap. It's 1935, you know.

Speaker 3 33:27

It's when greece was kind of very primitive we'll be able to keep that in there and um in case we offend the greeks, just same as mold and council.

Speaker 1 33:42

Yeah, the mold and council. Sorry, can we talk about this? So we have just had to censor something in case jack offends the greeks. However, there was a song okay in the first podcast and it was in the video yeah, which was in the video. We've already sung the song. It goes carlura, carlura. Never before has a boy had any, but not, but with less syllables than that, anyway obviously that's being edited out, or is it?

Speaker 2 34:14

We don't know?

Speaker 1 34:15

Or is it Because I want to sound bite of Mark saying or let's get one tomorrow Because, basically, tara, the message is us going no, we can't keep that in because molden council will be offended. If you're one of our listeners from molden council, please, please, let us know.

Speaker 2 34:38

Oh, we met that lovely was her name, lisa. Yeah, but she wasn't from molden council, she was one of the organizers. I do as a disclaimer after the song, just so we can keep the song in. Neither of us are implying that there is cholera in that river. It was just a joke they've also not. Henry, would you like to apologize to the people of malden council?

Speaker 1 35:00

look, first of all, what I'll say is we haven't proved if there isn't cholera in the river either. However, what I will say, people of malden, especially malden council, who are obviously avid listeners of the podcast look, we know your fans what I will say. Podcast in hopton and the number next to cholera cast. So, people of Malden council and residents of Malden, I apologise unequivocally about my comments about waterborne disease running through your bog.

Speaker 2 35:49

I loved it. I thought it was a great day. I wish I'd have been. I wish we'd have gone on the big wheel.

Speaker 1 35:57

I don't.

Speaker 2 35:58

Do you not like a big wheel?

Speaker 1 35:59

No, I wish I'd had the jam. I've literally had none of it.

Speaker 2 36:03

And now it's not part of your diet. Alessandro, me and Mark might have some tomorrow.

Speaker 1 36:08

No, you won't. The.

Speaker 2 36:11

Crown. I still haven't watched the latest season.

Speaker 1 36:14

Have you not? Very good, I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 36:16

Is there two seasons out now?

Speaker 1 36:18

It depends where you got to.

Speaker 2 36:19

I can't remember. Where did I get to? Did you get?

Speaker 1 36:23

to Elizabeth Debecky as Princess Diana.

Speaker 2 36:26

I got to Diana.

Speaker 1 36:27

Okay, no, diana, I got to Diana. Okay, no, you've got to watch season five and six.

Speaker 2 36:30

Oh, maybe. Yeah, I have two seasons behind.

Speaker 1 36:32

Did you see all the Thatcher episodes?

Speaker 2 36:34

Yeah, I watched season four.

Speaker 1 36:36

Yeah, five and six.

Speaker 2 36:40

Yeah, yeah, We've. Yeah, it's disappointing I I liked the young um Elizabeth. I thought they were great. Not that the older ones weren't, but just really well acted, wasn't?

Speaker 3 36:53

it Claire.

Speaker 2 36:54

Foy. Yeah, claire Foy, did you ever watch Wolf Hall? No, but was she in that?

Speaker 1 36:58

Yes.

Speaker 2 36:58

And Berlin. Have you ever watched Behind Her Eyes? What a weird program.

Speaker 1 37:05

My mum's watched this, because of course she has. Yes, I must watch that it is the ending.

Speaker 2 37:12

Wow, yeah, wow. Only a limited series, so not many episodes.

Speaker 1 37:18

Queen's Gambit was a limited series, wasn't? It yeah, that was good, that was really good.

Speaker 2 37:21

Outnumbered is another programme that's coming back. That's the other one that's coming back, it's coming back yeah, they're doing a Christmas special. No, coming back christmas yeah, they're doing a christmas special. No, they're not. That's what I mean. This is why it's 2008 again, because they're gonna do a final episode of outnumbered for christmas gavin and stacy, wallace and gromit and doctor who?

Speaker 1 37:44

it annoys me my hair sometimes because people know you by hair. No, because it's suddenly oh, you know this person's curly hair. You look exactly the same. It's like when guests come up to me, go, oh, you look exactly like my grandson. They show me a photo. I'm like, well, is it really?

Speaker 2 38:01

he's just got curly hair, yeah you know nothing like your grandson unfortunately, you've made your hair your defining feature.

Speaker 1 38:09

Yeah, but I look nothing like your grandson stop talking to you've made your hair your defining feature, yeah, but I look nothing like your grandson. Stop talking to me. Go and get a pencil from the garden bar, sit down. That's what I say to them.

Speaker 2 38:17

Have you been abused by Henry Patterson? If so, write in. I was talking to some guests the other night and they were talking about their hamster passed away.

Speaker 1 38:31

This is why I don't talk to guests.

Speaker 2 38:34

This is why it must have been a hamster. Their hamster sadly passed away.

Speaker 1 38:39

I'm sorry about that.

Speaker 2 38:40

So they buried the hamster and then came back a couple of hours later and the hamster was sat on the lawn again. Is that how they told the story. Are you serious? And what had happened? As with that video there, a fox had come and dug it back up again, but I had the same reaction I thought that the hamster no kind of lazarus style or or or like jesus after crucifixion when, when they told me the story, I imagined exactly the same thing.

Speaker 2 39:17

I'm 90 sure it's a hamster, not a bunny rabbit, but yeah um I had exactly the same reaction to you.

Speaker 1 39:25

Then move the great boulder that was blocking it. Yeah, on the third day, no one knew what it did for those three days, and then, after a couple more days, it ascended back but no, I was just. I found the whole thing hilarious, that um I that they probably thought that hamster had resurrected exactly it was how they told me the story and I was sat back.

Speaker 2 39:47

I had the same thing of, like the hamster came back to life, I mean that's impressive as well that the hamster a was not dead.

Speaker 1 39:54

B was in some weird coma. C woke up there would have been in time. D tunneled its way back to the surface and then just sat. I mean, when do you see a hamster sit?

Speaker 2 40:09

in the end.

Speaker 1 40:09

No, it's just a fox but I mean that if that's not a tiktok clip, nothing is. I watched uh 1917 again the other day good film great film again.

Speaker 2 40:20

Love a one shot yeah, you knew I was gonna say it's the one thing that everybody says about that film. Did you know it was shot, so it looked like it was all in one?

Speaker 1 40:29

take it it almost annoys me actually, because when I was watching it every four minutes you just can't help but think all I could say was oh no, it's all in one take.

Speaker 2 40:42

Do you know what I and was it you I was having this conversation with the other day? It's like sometimes films are sold on yeah, gimmicks or stunts and we were having a conversation about like the um, mission impossible films.

Speaker 1 40:56

It's like it almost ruins the film, but you're also watching it because of it it's like because all I was watching 1917 is oh, I'm feeling tense, but that's only because I've been. It's only because I've been manipulated by this camera shot, and now all I can think of is the camera shot. It's like when you start thinking about blinking see, I've done it.

Speaker 2 41:18

Now all we're gonna do is not blink, not blinking, but no, it's like I watch missing mission impossible, the latest one, because I was like, and you just feel the urge to become a nerd and go. Did you know? Tom cruise does all his own stunts. Okay, so we can't watch mission impossible.

Speaker 1 41:34

Anyway. No, hang on. Have you? Have you seen what the time is?

Speaker 2 41:41

oh, it's getting quite late.

Speaker 3 41:42

To be fair, we, we haven't actually all this time watched anything, just been going through and selecting things to watch, so so that's, it then yeah, because I well, we obviously got, we've got to be up early tomorrow.

Speaker 2 41:57

Um well, well, that was how about? We come back another night and do the whole thing again yeah, we'll just try and find something to watch, but in the meantime.

Speaker 2 42:08

If you have any questions, you would like to ask the jack and henry helpline yeah, but I just want to point out like if the jack and henry helpline this week was, we want to find out something we can watch, we haven't actually helped with that I think we're just highlighting an issue that we could help with yes, this is us proving to the people there are problems in the world life too much choice life is disappointing yeah

Speaker 2 42:36

um, that's our tagline the jack and henry helpline life is disappointing and then, when we eventually miss release of an episode, we could just release the slogan life is disappointing and us being a part of life are equally disappointing.

Speaker 1 42:53

So if you have a topic that you would like us to help you with anything you want help with at all literally anything uh, we'll do it in one of our episodes in the week after next.

Speaker 2 43:04

Yeah, uh, so message us at the jackandhenry on Instagram, that's our handle or lowercase, and it's a proper and yeah, not an and for sand.

Speaker 1 43:15

Or put a comment or post in the official Potter's group and then we will hound you for a voice message to play on this podcast. But At thejackandhenry, Get in touch in any way you wish to. We need your suggestions. If not, we have to ask katie green from the potter states company.

Speaker 2 43:32

she is the default um question because she surprisingly.

Speaker 1 43:38

This does surprise me.

Speaker 2 43:39

She's desperate to be on this podcast it's because she's been mentioned in pretty much every single episode, so katie green will be the one we go to for all of the episodes.

Speaker 1 43:48

basically, we're speaking to Katie Green every week, so thank you for joining us on this first ever episode of the Jack and Henry Helpline.

Speaker 2 44:00

The Jack and Henry Helpline.

Speaker 1 44:03

We hope we've helped you in some way.

Speaker 2 44:07

I actually don't think we've helped anybody.

Speaker 1 44:10

But I'll tell you what we've done, what we've told our truth.