59. The #1 Midlife Confidence Booster That You're Not Using | Laura Tully

Welcome to Season 2 of The School of Midlife!  

We're diving into the world of midlife style with the incredible Laura Tully, a renowned personal wardrobe stylist. Laura graces us with her expert insights on how midlife women can redefine their personal style to boost confidence and authenticity.

🎙️ Let's kick things off by unpacking the difference between fashion and personal style. Laura beautifully distinguishes between following trends and intentionally choosing clothing that speaks to our authentic selves.

🔍 Dive deeper with us as we explore how the right outfit can work wonders for your confidence, leaving you feeling poised and self-assured in any situation. Laura shares her secrets on how to curate a wardrobe that makes you feel like the unstoppable force you truly are!

Ready to elevate your wardrobe game? Laura dishes out some must-have wardrobe essentials that every midlife woman needs in her arsenal. From a killer blazer to the perfect pair of denim, we've got you covered for creating a wardrobe that's both functional and fabulous.

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Transcript

SPEAKER00: Welcome to the School of Midlife podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Reynoldson. This is the podcast for the midlife woman who's starting to ask herself big life questions like, what do I want? Is it too late for me? And what's my legacy beyond my family and my work? Each week, we're answering these questions and more. At the School of Midlife, we're learning all of the life lessons they didn't teach us in school. And we're figuring out, finally, what it is we want to be when we grow up. Let's make midlife your best life. 

Do you ever stand in front of your jam-packed closet and think to yourself, I have nothing to wear? Because maybe you've gained a couple of pounds or your clothes just don't seem to match your lifestyle anymore. In today's episode of the School of Midlife podcast, I'm joined by personal wardrobe stylist, Laura Tully. We're talking about finding your personal style so that you can build a wardrobe that fits your lifestyle and makes you feel incredible along the way. Laura shares her key wardrobe staples, her insights on the difference between fashion and style, and why knowing how to dress the body you have now will boost your self-confidence and allow you to show up more authentically you. This conversation will leave you feeling optimistic and excited about getting dressed in the morning. Turns out your personal style is just one more tool in making midlife your best life. Let's get dressed. Hi, Laura. Thank you so much for being here. I am so excited to talk to you about all things style. Will you please introduce yourself to the audience and tell them a little bit about what you do?

SPEAKER01: Yes. Oh my gosh, Laurie. I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me. So my name is Laura Tully. I'm a personal wardrobe stylist. And I would say in a nutshell, I just, I get to show people how they can use style as this like incredible tool to gain confidence in themselves, but to really see that getting dressed and feeling good in what you wear can be like a daily thing. Like it doesn't have to be this like only once in a while. So yeah, that's like a big part of what I do.

SPEAKER_00: I love that you said using style as essentially a confidence booster. I think we've all had that experience where We had something going on, maybe it was a presentation, maybe we were just going to a conference or something and we had a new outfit on that we had picked out and we just, it feels like you just walk into the room a little differently. Your arms, your shoulders are back, your head's high, you just, you feel better when you know that you look better.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely. It's such a, I feel like it's such an accessible tool also. Like I could actually have some sense of control in how I'm showing up and I feel like it's one of those things that it's It's so usable to harness that and go, oh my gosh, I can learn what loves on my body. And then this confidence can be this just continually fueled situation that's happening in my life. That's huge.

SPEAKER_00: And we can't control a lot of what's going on in our lives. The idea of being an accessible tool that we can control is brilliant. So to start off, I would love to know what you think the difference between fashion and style are, because you've talked that you're a personal wardrobe stylist. We've talked about style, but maybe level set here and talk to us about the difference between fashion and style.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would say fashion is all the things, right? All the clothing, all the brands, all the magazines, all the things that we see that's going on there when it comes to clothing, our bodies. And I look at style as our deliberate way of curating and shaping the way we want to show up in this world. And, and I think what's cool about style is it's this evolving way of how you want to express yourself. So I feel like a lot of people think that style is like a destination and it's, I'm here. I have, this is my style. And I feel like that doesn't happen very often for most people. I feel like it's, trust me, like when I look at pictures from, like when I go visit my parents. And my pictures are those like, we frame everything. There is. And so there's all these pictures that are framed of me and all my different outfits and all my different stages. And it's really cool. It's cool to see like how it evolves and who I was. And so I feel like, yeah, that's the biggest difference as far as style goes. It's compared to fashion. It's just being deliberate about how you are choosing to show up.

SPEAKER_00: So deliberate, curating, these are very intentional verbs. So to me, it sounds fashion. is something that happens to you, maybe, and style is something that you actually think about and do. Yes. You don't just go to, say, a store and buy the things that are on sale, or you buy the same t-shirt in every color because it's on a great deal, but does it actually fit into what you are creating? Is that fair? Yes.

SPEAKER_01: Yes. That's fair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: Obviously, most of the listeners on the School of Midlife podcast are in midlife. We're going to talk about a couple of things related to dressing midlife women, but common midlife styling. I don't know if we call them mistakes, but we'll call them mistakes for lack of a better term. But any common midlife styling mistakes that you see women making and how would you recommend that they avoid making them?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. So I think so much of it is allowing ourselves to, again, to have that permission. Can I wear this? Does this work for me? And as someone who is, I'm 45 and I work, most of the clients that I work with are in their early forties to mid sixties. So, squarely in midlife. Yes, squarely in midlife. And it's really about uncovering, like, what is, what's going to serve me? When I put on a certain type of clothing, am I really feeling like I'm showing up as the full version of myself? And I feel like at this point in our life, we've all gone through so many different experiences that has shaped who we have become. the journey still continues and who we're becoming. And I think style is no longer, at least on how I work with clients and in my world, isn't about fitting into any kind of parameters. It's really being intentional about, oh my gosh, these are the silhouettes and shapes that celebrates my body. And so those are really tangible things that you can do to really learn how you can make style be this yummy component of your life as opposed to just settling. And I see that a lot in fashion where style that's directed to women of a certain age is like, you're like, that is not cute. That ain't cute. We don't want that. No, thank you.

SPEAKER_00: That's cruiseware. I collect cruiseware. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about when I say cruiseware, but… Yes, I do. And I think… And if cruiseware is your thing, cool.

SPEAKER_01: Cool, exactly. But I think that, like, through relying on that type of style or those type of styles that are, like, just given to women of a certain age is a story that we don't connect to anymore. We're like, no, that's not going to work for me.

SPEAKER_00: I agree. I feel like Do you remember that movie Father of the Bride with Diane Keaton and Steve Martin and their cute little daughter Annie goes away, studies abroad, finds somebody, and then it's all about her getting married and Steve Martin as the father of the bride going crazy?

SPEAKER_01: Yes, I do remember that movie. I haven't seen it in a long time, but I do know it.

SPEAKER_00: The parents in that movie were in their mid-40s. And if you go back and just and part of it, of course, was the time when it came out. But I feel like we have evolved so much as when we talk about a woman of a certain age, we're much more active and youthful and. Just we're not cashing it all in in our face again, you know, thrown up our hands in the air. It's all over. It's downhill from here. We're just. We're going to wear house dresses and sweatpants for the rest of our lives, which is, if that's your thing, cool. You did mention about looks that celebrate your body. And I think I know I am one of these, but many women in midlife experience some body changes during midlife. For me, there's a lot more softness around the middle and a little extra on my hips. And I have a belly, which I have never had before. When we talk about clothes and styles that will celebrate our bodies, even if we're not feeling like They should be celebrated in this moment, which that's a whole nother conversation. But right. What tips do you have for dressing in a way that flatters your body shape, makes you feel comfortable as your body sort of changes and helps you to really celebrate your body in midlife?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yes, our bodies go through all sorts of changes at this at this phase in our lives. So honestly, like a big part of feeling good in what you wear no matter the season that we are in is I feel like a fundamental part of it is understanding the difference between fit and your size. So the size is the number, right? You have your parameters as far as what size you normally click and add to cart. And my emphasis is really on fit. So that is how clothing should lay on your body. And for me, developing that knowledge about how things should fit your body is going to help you navigate the changes that are happening to your body. Because I think what happens sometimes is that It's, I wear this size. Our body decides to do its little thing and change, right? And then all of a sudden, you're like, I don't wear this size. What does that say about me?

SPEAKER_00: What does this mean?

SPEAKER_01: And then all of a sudden, this number starts to dismantle, like, who you think you are. And we know that we are not a number, right? We're like so much more than our size, right? And I think when we're able to really lean into like how something fits and lays on our body, then it gives us really good useful ammunition and real insight as to so we can navigate those changes. For example, like if you're used to wearing like this particular number and you have been working on like understanding fit, then you can go, you know what, I'm gonna go up a size in these pants and they're gonna lay so much better on my hips and I'm gonna get this waist taken in and then I'm gonna have these pants that are just gonna be loving on me. Or if it's a top that you're putting on, you're like, okay, if I go down a size, then I know it's going to have more structure and shape on my frame. And that's going to be a better fit for me. And the difference here is back to what you were saying about the difference between fashion and style. The difference is instead of the clothes dictating how it should fit you, you're telling the clothes how it should fit your body. And that is like a huge difference. Huge. as opposed to just, oh, I don't think I'm worthy because this blazer isn't fitting me the way that I expect it to. It's more like you taking that initiative and understanding like, oh, I know how it should lay. So I'm going to actually go up a size in this blazer so it lays well on my shoulder and have my tailor tweak the back and then it's done.

SPEAKER_00: You mentioned Going the size in pants, having the waist taken in. We've talked then you talked about having a tailor take in the back of a blazer. Yeah. It sounds like. When we're talking fit, we shouldn't we shouldn't necessarily expect something to fit right off of the hanger in the store that there that may be part of what we need to get comfortable with is. looking at something that we buy in the store as a starting point and maybe getting a good relationship with a tailor to actually make it fit the way we want to?

SPEAKER_01: Yes, having a tailor is just one of those incredibly important things to have when you're developing your style. Most off-the-rack items, they just won't fit exactly as you want them to. Some of them will, I'm not saying you have to get everything tailored, but I think the important point here is just to really be developing the insight and knowledge about how items should lay on your body. And I feel like what we're used to doing is we go into a store, we see something that we like, we autopilot into, okay, this is the size that I normally wear. We grab it. And then we're making the decision that just doesn't have enough information to help us make like the right decision that allows us to then bring that item home and have it be useful for us when it comes to creating outfits and all the things. And that could be a whole nother podcast. So I feel like the shift here is you walk into a store, you see an item that you like, and you're like, oh, those are cute trousers. And it's a little bit flowier. And so you maybe grab two sizes, right? And then you try them on and then you go, oh, okay this one really lays on my hips much better like i love the way it drapes it's not tugging it's not pulling and these are quick as you do this more these will be really fast decisions yeah so then you're making this like really practical and, um, and honestly, it protects your bandwidth too, because you don't have to bring it home and then take it back to the store. It's like a whole, it's, we know this, right? Like we, at this time in our life, we have very little bandwidth to do these like extra things. So doing these assessments while you're in the store trying this on allows you to then get an item that's actually going to serve you in the long run as opposed to not diving into the layers of how clothing should fit you.

SPEAKER_00: So it sounds like the way something should lay on our body and our fit, that is something that we learn through trial and error. Is that right? Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01: And trying on clothes is such an important part of developing this skill. And I think sometimes we see people who are really pulled together and it just looks effortless. You're like, oh my gosh, she has a jeans and t-shirt on and I want that outfit because she just makes it look so chic and elevated. And the truth is, it actually took her a lot of effort. But for her at this point in her life perhaps, she's just been like refining and developing those skills so that it takes her 10 minutes to throw a jeans and t-shirt. on and make it look effortless and pull together. Because she's been able to develop that skill through the trial and error of trying things on and then understanding like what cuts and silhouettes really celebrate your body. And building those skills, I feel like what I said before, are all part of the fun, creative process of developing your style. and it allows you to then have this goodness of information that you know what when you are gaining weight or losing weight or whatever is happening in your life where physically changes how clothing fits your body We are not, we don't have to be in that position of feeling like we have to dismantle ourselves or say negative things to ourself because an item of clothing has changed how it lays on our body. We can have a little bit more grace in how we pivot because we've worked that, we've developed that skill. We've gained those like really useful ammunition, those tools to allow us to pivot as we need to.

SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the day, no one except for you knows what size your clothes are anyway. It's all about how does it look on your body? How does it feel when you're wearing it? So yes. And there is such a disparity between, say, what a six looks like in one brand versus every other brand. So, yeah, I love the idea of let's move beyond size and focus more on fit. Yes. I want to talk about building a wardrobe, not just say shopping to buy things, but really being intentional about the clothes that we buy. And we'll talk about shopping as an exercise in a moment. But before we go there, and we touched on this just briefly, but Let's talk about age, because a lot of times we hear we're too old to wear that or I just that's for young women. And we're starting to head into some warmer months at the time that this is this podcast is being recorded. And as women age, I think a lot of times they start wondering about can I can I pull off this bikini at a at a beach on vacation or am I too old to wear the bikini? I know micro shorts are having a bit of a moment right now and in my opinion no one should be wearing micro shorts. I'm not a style expert but that just seemed like a UTI waiting to happen. What are your thoughts on dressing for your age versus dressing for your personal style? Because it seems to me that those are two different things, potentially. And I guess what I'm getting at is how much should age play in, how much should age play a role in determining what we wear?

SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh. So this is a very loaded question because I feel like there's so many important components of it that has nothing to do with style. And so what I mean by that is so much of the social and cultural construct and expectation of women have always been about how do we keep women in their place? and within certain parameters. History of style really has really shown us stamps of what that looks like. And so this idea of should I be, just even the question, Am I allowed to wear, I'm 45 years old and for me to be asking permission to wear something on my body as a competent, capable, able to do all the things, it's crazy to me. So the question really isn't about the style. It's what rules am I supposed to follow in this social construct of what's been developed for women. And how do we keep the idea of youth, I'm using air quotes, as this very coveted commodity that keeps us wanting this perceived way of how we are supposed to look. And I'm using air quotes again in the supposed to look. Honestly, at the end of the day, I tell most of my clients that I work with, you can wear anything you want if you feel good in it and if you feel like it celebrates who you are and how you want to show up. When it comes to then distilling what that can look like, then we can curate that in a way where it's like, oh my gosh, I know V-necks or this certain silhouette or I love this length of short on me because it shows off all my legs in a really like sexy and beautiful way or I'm petite so I actually have to go a little shorter with my lens so that it elongates my frame and I don't look shorter than I am. So then it's just those like practical elements of finding fits and cuts that actually like enhance and love on your body. But The idea of I feel like I need to eliminate what I want to wear or what I think I would like to wear because I'm a certain age has nothing to do with style and has everything to do with the expectations that are placed on women that we quite frankly did not draw that storyline.

SPEAKER_00: So as a professional wardrobe stylist, it sounds like you're also working with your clients on mindset coaching.

SPEAKER_01: Yes. Completely. That is one of, it is the fundamental starting point to allowing ourselves to show up fully. Because when I look at my clients and I see them, like I see the yumminess, the goodness, the beauty, the parts of their bodies. I want to celebrate with style and I'm excited for that. And I think to this day, whenever I'm like talking to a client or and I'm looking for a particular type of blazer for her and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is going to show off your waist and like the best way because I love your waist. And she looks at me with this love my waist. I'm like, yes, I do. And I'm like, have you never looked at your notice that you have such a great waist? She's no.

SPEAKER_00: No, because she's probably been covering it up forever, right? Because at some point somebody told her maybe she she learned something that Maybe you're right. I don't know. Her hips are wider than somebody thinks that they should be. And yes, like you, I'm using the air quotes. So, yes, she spent her whole life like covering it up instead of trying to love the parts of her that should be accentuated. And again, should let's we could have a whole hour talking. Yeah, we should do and should say and should look like, et cetera. But I love the idea of changing the narrative not only on what, like, removing age from it, removing this idea of having to ask permission, but really stepping into the person who you are and who you're becoming and reflecting that in what you're wearing.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely. And I think it's really interesting and I think I feel like the conversation is, I love that we're having more of this conversation about age and aging because it's so normal. Like everyone's doing it. It's everyone is doing the human race. It's like the it's just. So I find it really interesting that that the topic of aging and by the way, the topic of aging and style is circled and emphasized and is really directed mostly towards women. I work with men as well. And and most of them they're in their mid forties and up and that. idea or the concept of can I wear this? Am I allowed to? It's just not as emphasized within for men. And to be fair for within for men as well, I feel like when it comes to exploring and having that the option to just be themselves, they too have some tight parameters when it comes to just being willing to like, oh, I feel like I can only be this way if I'm like, like one of the guys kind of thing. And so it's really been interesting to explore that side of it with working with men.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I would think you're a guy, put on a shirt, put on some pants and we're good.

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Let's talk about building a wardrobe. Do you have, are there must-have pieces to create the foundation of every wardrobe? Oh, gosh. If so, what are your favorites?

SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, for sure. So these are pieces that I just feel like allows, they're good, I call them good anchors to having a wardrobe because they allow the getting dressed and looking pulled together. like that kind of like machine to just keep moving. So a great blazer to me is such a good staple to have because you can just wear with a t-shirt or over a slip dress or with jeans. It's just endless what you can do with it. A great fitting pair of denim. I love right now. It's so funny. I, one of my clients, she, she's just told me, Laura, are her skinny jeans out? Like what's happening in like in skinny jeans? I'm like, nothing is ever really out. I said, no, they're not out because actually she, she had on, she, she went to this Nashville event thing and we did these high-waisted faded black skinnies. with these amazing cowboy boots that we found. I was like, oh my gosh, I just, I'm like obsessed with them, with this cute cropped oversized light cashmere sweater situation. Anyways, but they, yeah, they're not out. So good fitting pair of denim is just a must have in whatever silhouette that you're loving on, like the wide leg, the straight leg. a good white button-down. Yeah, a good white button-down shirt. And I love a cotton one because it's just, it's a little bit more practical. It's like you put it in the washing machine and it's a little bit easier.

SPEAKER_00: Do you have a go-to brand for a good white button-down cotton shirt? I feel like I have been in search of one of those forever.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. I, oh gosh, okay, it's going to come to me. So I love, is it Citizens? I feel like it's Citizens of Humanity. They do a really great. So it's a little oversized, so you can size down. So it's a little bit more fitted, but the Con is just such a great weight. It's not heavy. It's really light, but it keeps its shape, which I love. So I can make it look very messy and just thrown on, or I can get it pressed and it looks really crisp and with a pencil skirt or something like that. So it could navigate both. bold style arenas, which I love. And that's what's great about these type of staples is that it can be like dressed up or dressed down.

SPEAKER_00: So blazer, great fitting denim, white button-down shirt. Others?

SPEAKER_01: Yes. Yes. I would say some good slacks. So it could be a pair of black slacks or if you're want to be a little bit playful, make it a color. And I like to do like cool neutrals. So like these deep browns or I have this like one that's like a like a like a plum burgundy kind of color. It's like such a great color and I could wear it with a t-shirt and sneakers or I could put on a little kitten heel with it with like a little bodycon body suit and throw my awesome blazer over it. That's a good staple to have. Cool sneakers.

SPEAKER_00: Amen. I mean, we give a moment for the fact that sneakers are acceptable to wear everywhere, that we don't wear big high heels anymore, that the sneakers are here, I think, to stay.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, they are. I am slow clapping, like waving. It's just it's so good. It's so good. And I like a low profile. You could do a high top, but I feel like a low profile sneaker. If you're like, I just need one. Sneaker in my life is a good style to have because then it could just go with anything.

SPEAKER_00: And if you were going to do one, would you do something white or something black?

SPEAKER_01: I would do something white, like a cool pair of white, low profile, like Nikes or Reebok is like making a comeback. I'm like, oh my gosh, I used to have all the colors in the Reebok high tops back in the days. And the Velcro at the top. Yes.

SPEAKER_00: Velcro at the top. I love it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: I think I would say too. Oh, go ahead. I would say to a good kitten heel. So that's a heel. That's like maybe an inch that it's like you can wear with your jeans, but you could throw it on with a cute dress or skirt. But it's like a really great and kitten heels are like everywhere now. These like really fun slingbacks are really fun. to incorporate, and they have longevity. Like you'll always, like you wear it five years from now and you're like, oh, you're still cute. Yes. It's just a classic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: I think some people would call these pieces the basis of a capsule wardrobe. Yes. What are your thoughts about a capsule wardrobe? And when I say capsule, a lot of times I think a small number of curated pieces that all match together and go together. And a lot of times you'll have, you'll hear about somebody packing a capsule wardrobe to go on vacation because they've got limited suitcase. But what do you think about capsule collections? Do you, if you go in the capsule collection, direction? Do you have different capsules for spring and summer versus fall and winter? I love the idea of paring down my closet, but then it just sometimes feels a little overwhelming to get it down to 15 or 20 pieces. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: I love what you just said. That's really my take on capsule wardrobe, which is If the idea of having less clothing, less choices gives you that settled, calm feeling, then it is your style direction. It is, it's your sweet spot. If it overwhelms you or you make you feel like, oh my gosh, like it's just feels limiting or it feels, oh my gosh, it gives you a bit of like stress or anxiety, then it's probably not for you. I think ultimately it's, it comes down to what I have in my closet is serving me. What I have in my closet is not serving me. So it really comes down to distilling down, like having pieces in your closet that allows you to feel like I can get dressed in 10 minutes or less and get out the door and look good and feel great in what I'm wearing. I think a capsule wardrobe works for some because it's just really reducing the options and you're building just like these key staples. But I think allowing yourself to come from the direction of having pieces that serve you, whether it's in a capsule or just like your regular wardrobe. That's really what it comes down to. So if yeah, that's my take on on on capsule. It's use it if it like brings you joy and it makes you feel good. Do not if you feel like it's overwhelming or stressful. And I do that developing of style, we're going What I see happen a lot is we're always going through these changes in our lives, right? Like whether we're changing jobs or maybe moving to a different seasonal area or whatever the case is. And I think sometimes when we're feeling that like something's not right with our wardrobe, That is, I say be curious about that. I think sometimes we like panic and we're just like, oh my gosh, I don't, what does this mean? Be curious about why you're feeling that way. Because it can be some layers of things that could be, you know what, like your wardrobe now just doesn't reflect. who you want to be or who you're becoming. And that is okay. That's like a normal evolution of developing your style and allowing yourself to pivot. And sometimes those feelings of, oh, I go into my closet, I just have nothing to wear. It's just one of those little pings in our lives that is asking us to be curious, be open to shifting, and then looking into, okay, what do I need to do to not feel this way in my closet? A perfect example, one of my clients, she's done having kids, and in her closet, she had three different sizes of clothing. And she's just, I feel, I'm like, do I just get rid of all these different sizes? Do I like start over from scratch? And my, my conversation with her was less about like the clothes itself. It's like, how do you feel when you walk into your closet? and you're seeing all these different sizes. And she's like, makes me feel like shit.

SPEAKER_00: Because you've got the what most people will call the tiny aspirational sizes. You've got maybe the size you are now. Maybe you've got the size when you were pregnant or had a couple of extra pounds. But most of us we're going to have to really work hard and never eat a carb again and all those things that make our life miserable to get back to that aspirational size. So we just need to change how we're thinking about what's the aspiration? What's the goal? Do we want to live a full and fulfilling life or do we want to fit back into that pair of pants that we had 20 years ago?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly. And then, and the layer of that is just like the expectations. Who do I think I am when I'm that size? And that mindset of, oh my gosh, I allowed that size to define And we're just not going to do that anymore because we know that doesn't represent who we are. And so a lot of the conversation I had with Julia was really asking her, where do you want to be right now? And she's, oh my gosh, right now, she's, I just, she's, I just want to feel good in my body right now and take the pressure off of feeling like I need to be 15 pounds lighter. And I was like, you know what you want. You know what you want. And it was like such a release because these clothing were like, were like, they were stealing her power. And we were like, ah, no more. No, thank you. So we sent those items off and thank them for their service. Yes.

SPEAKER_00: At the time for somebody else to love them.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly. And she's like diving more into her business. And so she's got all these like cool things happening. And so like the wardrobe we started building was about celebrating who she is now and where she desires to be. And that is like the, that is, that's the goal. That's like the point of allowing ourselves to be, to be our whole selves.

SPEAKER_00: He's like, Mom, what are you doing? So if we if some of the listeners are thinking, I stand in front of my closet, my jam packed closet all the time and think I have nothing to wear. Can you take us through kind of high level? What is the process of working with you? What does that look like? You come to our house and you're like, throw that away. Keep this. You go shopping with us. Maybe How would we work with a professional wardrobe stylist?

SPEAKER_01: So there's several different ways to work with me. For some clients, it's they have a lot of clothes and great pieces and they actually don't need anymore clothing. So I come in, I go through what they have, I show them what works and why, and then it's, oh my gosh, why have I been keeping some of these pieces? It's almost like a release and relief. And then we create outfits so they can see, oh my gosh, there are so many different ways to wear this goodness that I've built over the years in my wardrobe and I don't, I actually don't need anything. And If they do need a few pieces, then I know exactly what those pieces are. So they're not just like going to the store to just grab something. It's so much more intentional. So that's one way. I also have clients who, so I, I come in and we do the edit and I, we get rid of the things that are just taking up noise in our space. And the goal is to for you to understand why certain styles work on your body and how we can then make that whole idea of fit and celebrating what works on you, how we can incorporate this to be like a whole wardrobe situation. So then I shop for those styles that I feel like is one relevant for how you live your life. Because I think too, that's like a thing about style that we get like kind of lost in is that we look at these Pinterest boards or whatever is happening in the influencer land and we were saving all these outfits and it doesn't really reflect you and how you will actually live your life. And I think so much of what helps my clients is allowing great style to be infused in all the layers of how they live their life. So that's, we live in Idaho, so that's camping, that's going on bike rides, that's going out to dinner with your girlfriends, that's Meeting with a client, it's maybe going to this little fancy dinner or event thing. So it's infusing these layers because that's who we are. We are layered and we're not one dimensional. And making sure like the style that we, that I bring in is like reflective of like how you live your life. And also they just look damn good on you. That's the important part.

SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, that's what really matters most, right? Yeah, yeah. I have a couple of hot takes on you before we wrap this up. Getting your colors done is having a bit of a moment. I remember back in the, I don't know if it was the 80s or the 90s, but it was like everyone knew if they were a summer or a fall or a spring or a winter. What do you think about getting your colors done?

SPEAKER_01: I say, if it's something that you're curious about, go and do it. Why not? I, so I don't, I actually, my, my friend at Skinny Owl, she does color, color analysis and I'll send clients there if they want to do that. What's interesting, what I've done throughout the years of styling clients is that most of us. can wear a lot of colors. There's very few people that you're just like, oh, I don't think you should ever wear that color. So where I stand is most of us can wear most colors and I find that when I'm building a wardrobe for a client, Um, I am able to really access like the palette and tones that I know that will look amazing on her skin tone, but also will give her longevity in like how to mix and pull pieces together so that she's not like having this one piece that she's, I have no idea what to wear with this particular print. It doesn't go with anything. So, so it's, it's really for me, again, I feel like I feel like again it's like the box you know like style is style real style is allowing yourself the the freedom to explore what works and celebrates you in the best way but also a willingness to play because if you feel like you had to wear like a certain color palette all the time And that's it. I feel like we, so I think it's just like being willing to be playful. And you're like, again, you're developing that skill along the way of what works and what looks great on you. And you're like, I could do like a more saturated tone in this, these reds or so that playfulness allows you to dive deeper into a color palette. And I think that's what's great about a color analysis is then you can like maybe dive deeper in those particular colors with your wardrobe, but also not eliminate the possibilities of what's to come.

SPEAKER_00: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And if you, if there's something that you love just because it's not in your color palette, you don't have to throw it out. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Because we are, it seems to be talking about things that happened in the eighties and nineties. It's coming back. Let's talk about pleated pants. I thought that we had gotten rid of those. And as somebody who is a little more curvy with more of a hip situation, man, I just thought that those had gone by the wayside. But talk to me about pleated pants and if I should get back on board.

SPEAKER_01: What I just think too with pleated pants is I feel like this again, I know I sound like a broken record, is understanding like how things should fit you. And when these like trends kind of start flowing back in which it'll never end, right? Understanding how things fit your body is going to help you navigate whether you want to hop on a particular trend or tweak it in a way that like was going to celebrate you in the best way. So as far as pleated pants go, it could come down to the fabric. Like something that is a lighter weight and just has like a drape, a good heavy drape to it. It's like really flattering on everyone. You can do a style that's like slightly more structured, but maybe have it a little bit more cropped as opposed to long and the longer pants that are like dripping on you so again it's all over yeah yeah and you're just like no that's not gonna serve me and I think so much I feel like I've what I've been trying to reiterate is like building using all of this information that you've been developing about how things fit your body and how it should lay it allows you so much more than just like what you bring into your closet also allows you to navigate about what you don't bring into your closet. And, and when it comes to trends, we can feel like I just want to like hop onto all the things, but an intentional closet also means feeling, feeling good about making those decisions of like, I'm good.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't need to buy those micro shorts.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't need to buy those micro shorts. I know. And the micro shorts, it's so funny. Like the conversations and just the thread stream on social media when it comes to that is so funny. And for me, I don't necessarily do the micro shorts for myself, but I'm loving the micro skirts with an oversized blazer and it's just with some sneaks. It's just, it's a fun look.

SPEAKER_00: So again, The micro shorts to me look, and if you don't know what we're talking about, go online, look at, um, Free People is getting a lot of love. Free People is the one. That thread is hilarious. To me, it looks like the little pantaloons that you would dress a baby girl in over paper. That's what it looks like to me. Anyway, what about the importance of undergarments and shapewear?

SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, yes. That's another staple is well-fitting undergarments. Like getting your, knowing your correct bra size is such valuable insight. One minute.

SPEAKER_00: Okay. We'll take that again. So what about the importance of the right undergarments or shapewear?

SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's so important. That's actually another one of those key, when you were talking about wardrobe essentials, those key staples that you really need to have in your wardrobe. Knowing your correct bra size, getting the right measurements done are so important because it really affects how things lay on your body. If you have an ill-fitting bra, and you put a shirt over it you're like why are my boobs low like why does it look like my boobs are lower and in this shirt it's just about getting the girls up and having the right fit and it even affects your posture because you're able to like see how the item lays on your body so the right undergarments make all the difference for sure and knowing your measurements So many women don't know their measurements. So which measurements should we know? So your waist, your inseam, your bust size, your rise. So that's like from the crotch to your belly button. That's a really important one because then you can go, okay, I really love it when my jeans or pants hit me. right below my belly button to like you're a nine inch rise. Those are that's going to be your sweet spot. You can do nine to ten. If you have a shorter torso, maybe it's going to be a little bit lower for you for some. It's a six inch rise. Then you're able to go, OK, this works for me. And on my frame, it looks a little high rise as opposed to someone else who has a longer torso. A six inch rise will probably look so much lower.

SPEAKER_00: That just blew my mind because I'm thinking back on how much time that would have actually saved me for trying on denim, right? Yes. Yes. Okay. So rise. Got that. Good. Yes.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah. And also your shoulder to hip number. So this measurement from the top of your shoulder to the top of your hip can help you navigate like how long you want an item, a top to fit you. One of my clients, she was like, I just do not do crop tops, but she's really petite, but she's in that arena where she can go either way. And I told her, so that, so say for example, that number for her is like a 17. And most of us shop online and that is a number that they usually give you in the details section when you're shopping online. And then you can look at that item on that model. And this is again, this again, you're collecting data, information about how things fit your body, which allows you to then navigate the space of choosing as opposed to like shopping. Which means you're bringing in things that are serving your body in the best way and you're not just like collecting things. So then for her, she can look on that model and what she's wearing and it gives you all the details of the model's height. And so, for example, if it says that she's 5'9 and that crop top is a 16, she can go, you know what, that would actually be like a good fit on me. It's not going to be too short. And so you can navigate, again, the fit of something by knowing this type of information. So we're no longer winging how things should fit us. We're actually collecting this information that will then guide us towards knowing how things should lay on our body.

SPEAKER_00: The last thing I want to ask you about is you talked about choosing pieces instead of just shopping. And I think a lot of us go shopping just to Past the time, really. Yeah. What are we going to do this weekend? Let's go shopping. And we tend to just buy mindlessly because things are on sale or we feel like it's a good deal. And that that kind of my question really is about fast fashion. Do you shop fast fashion? Do you ever add pieces or do you typically stick to what can I have in the long run? It's all of the above.

SPEAKER_01: So I would say if we're being intentional about building a wardrobe that serves us now and for in the future, the quality of the item makes a huge difference. With fast fashion, there's so much turnover. It's not that the quality is poor. Even the cut and the fit is just not going to be as, as great. And I have clients who, and part of how I shop for clients is really having a more conscious way about how we are consuming products and things. And so with that, it's either, so with that, I use that to really select brands that are going to have some longevity in your wardrobe. That means you can look at this, a picture of you wearing something that you bought eight years ago and you're like, my gosh, that's still so cool. I love wearing that blazer or whatever that item is. And that process of building that intentional wardrobe means bringing in these better quality pieces so that they can serve you style-wise and just the process of wearing items over and over again. And what fast fashion does, it throws out trends like nobody's business. so it gives you maybe some some leeway as where you can go you know what those like really oversized wide leg pants is probably not something i want to completely invest in but i want to try it and so then it gives you some wiggle room to just play with a particular cut in a way that like doesn't strip you of your bottom line but your whole closet isn't going to be fast fashion, but it gives you some playroom when it comes to trying some trends. And then you could go, Oh my gosh, I didn't need, I love the way these fit. And maybe later invest in like a higher quality brand that you can wear over and over again. and then it becomes part of your like cool style staples. That's the process of building and developing your style is like this. I don't know. It's less restrictive. It's just like giving ourselves the permission to try things, being willing to put the effort into learning our the numbers on our bodies and and our sizing and trying things on and seeing oh and have a full-length mirror oh my lord like a full-length mirror where you can see your whole body allowing ourselves to see ourselves it sounds really cheesy but I think that's one of the things that makes me so passionate about my work is I see women and I'm like you deserve to be celebrated and I'm going to work with you to bring in these goodness so that like you're no longer like questioning whether or not you should rock something or not or if you deserve it and like those layers of how we like build each other up is that's the longevity I want. That's what I want us to keep make making a part of how we live our lives.

SPEAKER_00: That is a beautiful mission. And I think the perfect I don't know how we can get better than that. So let's let's wrap up there for our listeners who are interested in learning more about working with you.

SPEAKER_01: How can they find you? Yes. So they could go to my website. It's Laura Tully. co or they can find me on Instagram. I'm on the Insta and it's the same.

SPEAKER_00: I play there myself.

SPEAKER_01: Yes. At Laura Tully, T-U-L-L-Y dot C-O.

SPEAKER_00: Perfect. And we will drop clickable links to Laura's social media and her website in the show notes. We end every interview on the School of Midlife with the same two questions. So if you're ready, question one is, if you could go back to your 30-year-old self, knowing everything now with all of your life experience and lessons that you've learned along the way, what advice would you give her?

SPEAKER_01: Oh, what advice would I give to my 30-year-old self? I think the biggest thing is to take the risk. Just be okay with failing and not holding on so tight to the expectations of what I think something should be or trying to control everything. So just, if you're passionate, just take the risk. That's what I would try it. Fail and then keep it going.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah. Fabulous. Question two, what have you loved most about being a midlife woman?

SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh, I love so many things. I would say the biggest thing for me, and I feel like I mentioned this and it's part of like how I've developed my work too, is the permission. The permission I now give myself to celebrate who I am and also the willingness to be open to changing my mind. And not feeling like I have to do things just one particular way, I think is such a, have been just such a huge mindset shift for me because it's opened up so much possibilities for me and I'm so grateful for those experiences. So I would say that's been a big part of it.

SPEAKER_00: That's, I love that. Thank you so much for being here, Laura. I've really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01: This was great.

SPEAKER_00: Do you ever wish you had a community of midlife women you could go talk to about those big life questions that seem to pop up in midlife? Like, what do I want? What's my legacy? What's next for me? A community of women to have candid conversations with about all the things that come at us in midlife that no one else seems to be talking about. Changes in our bodies related to menopause, sure, but also changes in our relationships and family life and careers. Well, great news. The School of Midlife has launched a book club called Your Next Chapter. Each month, we'll be reading and discussing books that relate to the unique experiences of midlife women. It's absolutely free to join, and we'd love to have you meet up with us and add your voice to these important discussions. And this isn't like other book clubs, because if you didn't have time to finish the book, but you're still interested in the conversation, absolutely join us anyway, because you'll still get so much out of the conversation. The book club is free to join, but you'll need to sign up. Click the sign up link in the show notes and you'll automatically receive your invitation to join us. Get signed up, grab this month's book, and start reading. And we'll look forward to seeing you at the next book club discussion, where together, we're helping each other make midlife our best life.