Ever wondered what really goes on behind the scenes of a reality TV show? Get ready for an eye-opening journey as we chat with Iyanna McNeely, a former participant on Netflix's "Love is Blind." Iyanna takes us through her incredible transition from a career in social services to the unexpected twists and turns of reality TV. Influenced by her love for "Married at First Sight," Iyanna shares her rollercoaster ride of finding love on screen in your 20s.
Peek behind the curtain of reality TV production with Iyanna’s candid reflections. Expect grueling schedules, early mornings, late nights, and the emotional ups and downs of being in the public eye. She debunks common misconceptions, revealing how participants often discover the final edited episodes along with the audience—complete with unexpected emotional reactions. Together, we also dream up funny and exciting future ventures, like becoming commentators for obstacle course shows, and reflect on the unpredictable nature of life and reality TV. Tune in for an episode packed with authenticity, humor, and insights into the real world behind the reality TV facade.
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Watch the visual version of this podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@thisisntmydegree
Host: Original Dante
IG: www.instagram.com/originaldante
Guest: Iyanna McNeely
IG: https://www.instagram.com/iyanna.amor
Ever wondered what really goes on behind the scenes of a reality TV show? Get ready for an eye-opening journey as we chat with Iyanna McNeely, a former participant on Netflix's "Love is Blind." Iyanna takes us through her incredible transition from a career in social services to the unexpected twists and turns of reality TV. Influenced by her love for "Married at First Sight," Iyanna shares her rollercoaster ride of finding love on screen in your 20s.
Peek behind the curtain of reality TV production with Iyanna’s candid reflections. Expect grueling schedules, early mornings, late nights, and the emotional ups and downs of being in the public eye. She debunks common misconceptions, revealing how participants often discover the final edited episodes along with the audience—complete with unexpected emotional reactions. Together, we also dream up funny and exciting future ventures, like becoming commentators for obstacle course shows, and reflect on the unpredictable nature of life and reality TV. Tune in for an episode packed with authenticity, humor, and insights into the real world behind the reality TV facade.
___
Watch the visual version of this podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@thisisntmydegree
Host: Original Dante
IG: www.instagram.com/originaldante
Guest: Iyanna McNeely
IG: https://www.instagram.com/iyanna.amor
Hey, so I recorded this episode with Riverside. The software I've been partnering with that allows me to do remote podcasting, and everything was fantastic during recording, except clear. It's my fault, not the software. I want to be completely candid about that. It is a user error type deal. Yeah, I'm excited to show you guys this episode because Ayana is a guest that I've been wanting to have for a while now and I wanted to hear about her experience being on a production of a reality TV show for Netflix, specifically one that's like a flagship. Love is Blind, so let's get into it.
Speaker 2:I can officially start the podcast. This is my degree and this that was the most gentle fall it's actually ever done. It got stuck on the sound foam and then it got stuck on the plane. This isn't my degree. Welcome to the show where I give you a backstage pass into the life of a full-time freelancer and content creator, and sometimes I get to hang out with people like. This is the part where you say your name.
Speaker 3:Oh, ayana, you gotta warn me, I'm too awkward for this. You gotta warn me beforehand. Too awkward for this. You gotta warn me beforehand. What are you talking?
Speaker 2:about me ayana mcmillie for those, for those people that don't know who you are, who are you?
Speaker 3:uh, how do I answer that? Um, my name is ayana ayana Amor on Instagram, tiktok, really everything. So look your girl up. I was on Love is Blind, season two, don't look that up though, because that's embarrassing, is it?
Speaker 2:It's yes, ok. I have some questions about it, though, and not like your typical. Oh, how was everything? How did it go?
Speaker 3:No, I have the real questions. Did they force alcohol down? Your throat, because that's all I get asked now.
Speaker 2:But really yeah, OK. Well, now I'm curious OK, before you even got to that stage of life, what were you doing before? Love is Blind.
Speaker 3:Oh, before Love is Blind. What was I? Oh, I was working in a surrogacy agency. Most of my professional career I've been working in some form of social services usually. So I have a bachelor's in psychology. I worked at residential centers with at-risk youth, I did some in-home therapy, I did some social work, and then I wanted to move to Chicago randomly and you have to have a lot of credentials to do social service here and I didn't have the time for that. So I ended up at a surrogacy agency, which is really fun. It's a cool niche.
Speaker 2:What sparked your interest on like being on Love is Blind and like? Were you set on that or were you just like I want to go on a reality TV show? Walk me through that.
Speaker 3:No, no, walk me through that, no, no. So the whole thing with Love is Blind really started with at least the beginning of me feeling comfortable to go on. The show started really start off with Married at First Sight, when Married at First Sight came out.
Speaker 3:I would watch that all the time, and I find dating exhausting, and I was like, you know, it'd be cool if I could just find my husband that way. What a cool love story to tell our kids they can watch our love story on TV. Yeah, the whole TV aspect, though, did not appeal to me whatsoever, but when Love is Blind came out, I was like, okay, this might be more of my fit because, like at least I might have the appearance of a choice to choose.
Speaker 3:Uh, that's a joke. But uh, yeah. So I was like, okay, I'll just apply, because I'm, I happen to be in chicago and they're only doing chicago. So you know, let's just hope for the best. I doubt they'll call me.
Speaker 3:But a week later they called and I said, oh, I was kidding, joking uh and then, uh, yeah, then I happened to be a part of the final cast and I was like, well, I just, I just want a husband because I was stupid, so I got one it happens sometimes you just stumble onto a netflix show you know? I mean, I was only 26 at the time when I applied, so I also have to give myself some grace. Like Ayanna, you were very naive and just like head in the clouds. Like but the love story.
Speaker 2:It's crazy how like the 20s goes, because like it's whenever you start feeling like I know some stuff, but then like there's still so much to learn and it's like a lot of like stumbling and like just trying to navigate through a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3:because, like you want to know what I realized, though I don't think that's just the 20s, I think the older that I get, I think everyone's kind of just stumbling, figuring things out as they go yeah, everybody's kind of lying if they say they got it all figured out and they are and they are. Unless they're really rich, then that's at least like a big thing that they don't have to worry about. Because I feel like that's a lot of millennials especially. Uh, their worries is like paying for things.
Speaker 2:It's like I want to go travel and have a life, but also bills but also, like I want to just exist and be able to, like, do the most basic stuff yeah, no it's. We were lied to. They were like oh, you can go get a house and go get the 2.5 kids and a dog with the white picket fence. I don't.
Speaker 3:This is just the dream we were told that's just not the American dream anymore. I don't think it's realistic.
Speaker 2:But before we get too into that conversation cause that could be a whole episode in itself I have questions about Love is Blind specifically. Then we'll move more into the after and social media and, like I want to know a lot of stuff. Were you completely cut off from the outside world during that time?
Speaker 3:For the first half of it.
Speaker 2:Yes, so like no phone, no internet, and that was the part that gave me the most anxiety.
Speaker 3:I had no phone, I had no internet, and that was the part that gave me the most anxiety. I had no phone, I had no internet, I couldn't watch anything because we didn't have like internet access um your entire existence for those first three weeks is just dating people.
Speaker 3:Uh, and I like to kind of, you know, talk to my friends about things, talk to to my parents not really my parents about my relationships. But I talked to my friends about things and like kind of get their input on, like, you know, is that yellow flag ish, is that red flag ish? Like, am I tripping, am I crazy?
Speaker 3:So for me to have to go through that process completely alone with, just like, my ADHD brain that's like all over the place that loves to overthink. Yeah, that was the most anxiety I've ever experienced in my entire life, I think. On two of those days I woke up and immediately, like, ran to the bathroom to throw up Cause I was just so anxious. Yeah, it was bad.
Speaker 2:Did you guys get to like, at least go outside and stuff, like, did you see birds and everything? The?
Speaker 3:sky. I would go outside when they were transporting us. This sounds like prison. I would go outside what y'all didn't have, like a park or something? No, a park. No, what was what? Is this like? A? No, okay, so I picture this. We were all in the hotel. This was during covid, so I think in some ways we were blessed to that extent because we all got our own hotel rooms, because they didn't want us chatting and like you know, talking too much without us being on camera because they don't film you 24-7.
Speaker 3:Got our own hotel rooms. The only time we were able or allowed to leave because we didn't have the hotel room keys. The only time we were able to leave is asking for permission. And when we're going to the pods, which is in a big warehouse, it's like a setup, it's like a full setup, a production, and that's the only time that we were outside is when we walk outside to the van, walk from the van to the production set, or when we went to the bathroom.
Speaker 2:But we always had someone with us so that we didn't cross paths with the boys, the one I was gonna say men, but yeah, the boys I just can't get the past, the fact that like y'all didn't just get to like go see the sky, no, the sunshine to do? That's wild. No, if we're having a mental breakdown.
Speaker 3:Oh, that was gold for them. Where's the camera? Where's the camera? Zoom in.
Speaker 2:So you said that the cameras weren't rolling the whole time. So what did a typical production day look like?
Speaker 3:Oh God Okay so usually we would be downstairs by like I can't remember how early, but I know it's like 7, 7 am, 7, 30 um, and then we would go to the production site. We'd get like a slight breakfast. Uh, the boys got real breakfast, but we had like boiled eggs, which was so random. Um, we would eat boiled eggs.
Speaker 3:yeah, it was terrible. They did like a run of show, just like, hey, these are the topics that we suggest that you talk about today, but you don't have to, and then we would get a schedule on what pod to go in for our specific dates. Sometimes we'd just be sitting in the lounge waiting for our next day, but people would be coming in and out next day, but people will be coming in and out and we're there literally all day until about 2 am in the morning, go back to the hotel, get some sleep, wake up a few hours later to be ready on call for like 7 am again and do it all over again for like 10 days straight that's wild yeah, I feel like that's the stuff that people like don't factor in with.
Speaker 2:Like all these productions is like all this stuff happens so quick, like it's that's less than two weeks.
Speaker 3:It that is less than two weeks, which that's?
Speaker 2:wild? Was it boring when the cameras weren't rolling?
Speaker 3:um, no, actually no, it was never, boring.
Speaker 3:I think the entire thing was just like probably by far the coolest experience I've ever had, because, like, who can say that they've done something like that? So it definitely wasn't boring, cause in between, like, if I wasn't talking to actually I didn't really talk to the girls in the pods cause I didn't know them and I'm very introverted but I would talk to like production sometimes, like try to make friends with production, or you Like try to make friends with production, or you know, you're just kind of chilling. I read like a book and a half while I was in there.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I mean, it wasn't that. Or you take a nap. People love to take naps. I take naps all the time, I take naps on some of my dates. I'm like, you're not feeling me. I'm not feeling you.
Speaker 2:You want to take a nap together of your time too, because, right, I mean, I swear by a good nap Like it. Just it's like a reset.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:Especially if you're only getting like four hours of sleep. It sounded like based on that schedule.
Speaker 3:Literally, literally.
Speaker 1:That's crazy.
Speaker 3:I think by day four I realized like we're all sleep deprived because people were coming in and just crying and even I started to get emotional. I was like why the hell am I crying right now? I'm crying so much. It's like I'm sleep deprived, that's what it? Is.
Speaker 2:What's the biggest misconception people have about the show?
Speaker 3:Oh, what is the biggest misconception have about the show? Oh, what is the biggest misconception? I think biggest misconception is that, um, that they do film so often which they don't, and so I think, oh, I lied Biggest, I lied. Biggest misconception is that we know everything that is filmed and that is shown that is filmed and that is shown so, for example, you didn't watch my season, right, I haven't yet, no, okay.
Speaker 3:So, for example, do I need to? Don't, don't, don't, don't watch it. For example, after I was already married with the person that I chose, when the show aired I hadn't seen it, just like the audience hadn't seen it yet, but when it was released, I was watching it as everyone else was watching it. There was a conversation that my then husband had with one of his previous matches where, after he had already chosen me, he telling her things like that's not the ring, you want it, I would have got you that ring, I would have did this for you, I would have been that, yeah, after he had already proposed to me people oh, wow were shredding me like ayana, you're so naive, you're so dumb.
Speaker 3:He had this conversation blah, blah, blah, and I was like I didn't know about this conversation until after 10 months after, when I'm watching it, like you guys are. Granted, I knew he had interest in this girl. But also when you're dating 15 other people, you have to expect not everyone's going to choose their first choice. Even I had a second choice, mine, just didn't get filmed. Nonetheless, that's the biggest misconception is that we know everything that is being filmed and we know everything that's going on, but a lot of times we don't get to see it until everyone else sees it.
Speaker 2:That's so tragic that, like y'all, are watching it for the first time with the world population.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, I thought they would give us like, let us watch it beforehand. But I to some extent, extent I understand why they don't do that, because then we would really have a lot of time to prep as far as, like, how we're gonna react. And I don't think they want that which I mean because it makes for juicy television to kind of get everything, like you know, when heat of the moment keeps that like element of surprise and like catching you off guard, like it always.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it makes for the better tv, better production I mean people.
Speaker 3:People love the drama as much as they say, oh, this show is messy, now it's all about drama, they eat it up.
Speaker 2:They eat it up yeah, I'll be honest, my first time seeing the show was this most recent season and I was because I hadn't whoa, that's all I gotta say. Whoa, um. And then I found out I can't remember who it was, but I actually went to Charlotte for a music festival like beginning of May, and it turns out that I was probably like CDC guidelines away from somebody that was on the show and didn't even realize it yeah, because I was like looking at the music festival's Instagram and I'm like, oh, cool, cool.
Speaker 2:And then I'm like wait, wait, wait, and I was like I was right. Oh my God, I got scared.
Speaker 3:Wait, did you know who it was? I?
Speaker 2:think it was Chelsea.
Speaker 3:Okay, Chelsea, yeah. I think it was.
Speaker 2:Chelsea Probably, but I could be wrong on that. I'd have to look that up. No, you're probably right. Well, that story is gone now, so I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I will say, if you're in. Charlotte, you'll probably run into one of them. I know I ran into AD before her show even came out, well before her show came out. I think like six months before her show was released, she walked up to me and was like hey, I'm on the latest season. I was like huh, she's like. I was like did you get married.
Speaker 3:She's like no, not quite, but she and she told me everything that happened. Granted, I was like blackout drunk, so I remember most of the conversation, but like, nonetheless, I met her before.
Speaker 2:Was this in Charlotte?
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is Charlotte. I just sound like a bar.
Speaker 2:Everybody can go see the season and all that stuff how it transpired, but I want to know what life is like after the show and like what you're up to now, whenever you first picked up that phone?
Speaker 3:how many notifications did you have? Oh, you mean when the show came out.
Speaker 2:Like as soon as you got it back.
Speaker 3:Oh, as soon as I. Oh, not a lot, I mean. So so the thing is the thing is I, um, I, before the show I didn't use my phone very often. Um, I didn't really have too many friends. I mean, I don't have too many friends now, and that's kind of how I like it. I kind of keep my circle small, but like I, uh everyone knew.
Speaker 3:all my, all the people close to me knew that I was going on the show. So I told them if you didn't hear back from me within 10 days, it means that I got engaged and that I'm on my honeymoon. But I'll be back in a week. And so when they didn't hear from me, they knew like, oh, this girl is in Mexico somewhere with some man that we don't know. So when I came back, the first call that I made was actually to my mom. Um, that was not a good conversation, but that was the first conversation I had was to my mom and I was like hi, uh, I'm engaged. And she said what, what do you mean? You're engaged? I said I'm, I'm engaged. You want to meet up? She's like sure.
Speaker 3:I was like here, look here. She's like, oh hi.
Speaker 2:So are you still friends with people from the show?
Speaker 3:Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 3:Well yes, absolutely. You know, the funnier part is like I was just talking because I just had lunch with my best friend, who is from the show today, had lunch with, uh, my best friend who is from the show um, today, and we were talking about the fact that, like we genuinely believed not only that we knew our fiancés and like the guys um, but that we knew each other really well and even three years down the line, which it's been three years now, we're still learning things about our other castmates and uh, all of them are completely different than what we initially thought of each other, because you know you're, you're on a show, you're probably putting your best foot forward, or you're like being more extra than you typically would.
Speaker 3:Maybe you want more screen time, blah, blah, blah. I don't know. Whatever anyone's uh intention is. Like they're probably not 100 themselves, um, but uh, yeah, I didn't know them folks in the beginning, but I know them now. Nat is still my best friend. Love that girl to death. She'll be my forever best friend. She can't do it now and then I'm pretty cordial with everyone else. I wouldn't say that we're best friends, but like we're, we're all pretty cordial with everyone else.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say that we're best friends, but like we're, we're all pretty cordial. So, yeah, that's good that like friendships came out of it and like, even though some things didn't quite work out like, you still came out with a bunch of friends.
Speaker 3:Yeah that. I think that that was what I was supposed to be on the show for. I think in the end, me and Nat were supposed to find each other.
Speaker 2:That was the real love story that was actually the whole plan the entire time Like it was, like nobody was trying to find love. It was just so that you two could be friends.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:Whenever you got back and you started to like return into quote normal life, did you get people coming up to you Like, oh my God, I know who you are and like I saw you you get people coming up to you like oh my god, I know who you are and like I saw you, yeah, yeah, that, um, that was a lot for me, I think.
Speaker 3:Social media, I think, was even more for me to adjust to I think it didn't take me. It took me maybe a year and a half for me to completely adjust to social media, um, because before the show I had maybe maybe 500 followers and then after the show had aired, by the end of all the episodes, um, I had quite a bit.
Speaker 3:I can't remember how many, but I had quite a bit Um and that was overwhelming because the notifications were constant and I had to like shift some stuff and I was checking my phone more often I don't like using my phone that much, but then also the aspect of like being in public and people kind of coming up to you, um, and not everyone really sees people who are on tv as like normal people, I guess.
Speaker 1:Uh, so they kind of treat you like a museum, not all people.
Speaker 3:It's not as bad now, but they do kind of treat you like-.
Speaker 2:Never heard it put that way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but well, it's how do I Okay, example Me and my ex-husband. We're out with two of our friends who were not on the show and we're around drunk people who are the absolute worst. The absolute worst when it comes to being recognized by, because they have no understanding of boundaries and I'm standing here and I'm in my extreme introvert phases, before I had started to adjust and I'm just talking to a fan and she's like, oh my God.
Speaker 3:And she's like I just love your hair. And she's just like touching me and I'm like and then in the corner of my eye I see a woman, probably about two feet away from me, slowly reaching out her hand like this oh my God, to just try to graze my arm and I was like what the fuck she's trying to pet you.
Speaker 1:She was trying to pet me. I was like what the?
Speaker 2:fuck is happening. Get me out of here, wait. So you got somebody like feeling your hair, and then you got somebody like Basically, it was like a.
Speaker 3:It was like a, it was like a rub pat your head, rub your stomach thing, except that they weren't my hands, yeah it was bizarre.
Speaker 2:It was just other people.
Speaker 3:What it was. Other people it was really bizarre, but for the most part people are pretty respectful. They're just like hi, I know you don't like this, but I just want to say I loved you on the show and I'm like, oh thanks. And as time went by, it started to slow down more and more and more.
Speaker 1:I don't leave my house.
Speaker 3:As much now, but I think maybe out of 10 times me leaving my house, it only happens, maybe once, maybe twice.
Speaker 2:So not as bad. I mean, that's still a pretty good amount of times.
Speaker 3:Maybe it doesn't feel like that much anymore, which I mean. I like the amount now.
Speaker 2:It's like chill, it's like zen a little more.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and people are a lot more chill about it now too, because even they really just like say something real quick and then like walk off. Because I was just at lunch two days ago and someone's walking by, a beautiful black girl walking by, and I hear, oh my God, and I go. What the fuck? She goes, I know who you are. I go, oh hi, she's like I loved you on the show. I said, oh, thank you, love you too. And she goes, yeah, and then she just kept walking.
Speaker 2:We love the energy, love the energy, I love the energy. You mentioned the social media, like blowing up, and you had 500 followers. Then all of a sudden you had hundreds of thousands. Yeah, what was that like? Cause I'm sure you received, like all different types of messages, comments. What was it like getting that flood of just like whoa? There's a lot of people talking kind of at me right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's not only talking at you, but talking about you. To you, it's um, it was very uncomfortable, I think, um, especially because they're talking about something so sensitive as my marriage, which at the time behind the scenes I was really struggling with already. It was very uncomfortable. I did not like that aspect at all. It made me very self-conscious. For the most part, I've always lived my life kind of being like I don't care what anybody has to say, like whatever, I'm gonna just do whatever I want, and then all of a sudden I realized like I couldn't really do that anymore without getting so much flack about it, and it just
Speaker 3:it's very uncomfortable. You feel like a fish in a in a fishbowl, in a very, very tiny fishbowl. Um, I didn't like it, especially because these people didn't know who I was and they're, um, assigning character traits to me like she's uh, stupid, she's weak, she's you know. It was just like too much. Yeah, I got called weak so much. Uh, it was just way too much. Yeah, I didn't like that at all, and I think that's why my relationship with social media took so long for it to even get to a point of being okay, even though it was my job for some point. It took a really long time for even for me to stop feeling so shameful about it.
Speaker 2:Did you have kind of a I guess bad relationship with social media once you kind of hopped back on it and then saw all of those comments and DMs and like all these posts that were about you.
Speaker 3:Yes, absolutely. I think. Even before, though, my relationship with social media I mean, it was kind of non-existent. I liked sharing things for the most part, but oh, wow, that just brought up a memory. But I had an ex-boyfriend who was very anti-social media, and he would call me shallow, because I simply, like, wanted to post a picture of us or something. And so I think, because that happened so early on in my twenties, it kind of shaped how I saw social media, and then I just became very anti.
Speaker 3:And so, by the time, that like the show comes out and I find myself kind of being thrown into it. I did not like it at all and again, it took me at least a year and a half for me to finally be like all right, like it's not that bad. There's some good aspects of it but that's only because I had to steer it toward that direction with really my podcast. I think is what really improved my, my view on social media and the positive ways that it can be used.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about the podcast. What sparked your interest in starting that and tell the people also, like the name. Tell people that are unfamiliar like what your podcast is what it's about okay, well, my podcast.
Speaker 3:It was named fill in the blank f-e-e-l. Feel in the blank. Um, we were running for a good year plus we. We made it to about a year and a half and then we quit, um, because it was a lot um, but this, this literally just happened a few months ago, so it's it's fairly new that we're I'm not doing it anymore and I've been having some form of identity crisis, but, um, it's not the identity crisis yeah, it's because it'll send you.
Speaker 3:uh, especially because our podcast was doing so well, we got up to about 40 K on Instagram and I never realized just how hard it was to grow in the podcast era or in the area of that Um because, I mean, it's pretty difficult and no one really warned me about that and I think I think we got a good headstart because people knew who I was.
Speaker 3:But, um, also, we just showed a lot of vulnerable moments. So our podcast was about really just talking about life in general, talking about relationships, being two young women in their 20s kind of just figuring life out, not experts on life, but we are students of life. So we just, you know, we like to talk about really deep conversations anyway. So we thought, well, why not just, you know, talk about it with each other and have other people join in on the conversation? So that was really the gist of the podcast. And, yeah, and we were able to build our little community, people who are very like minded and that was cool cool.
Speaker 3:I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed that, that podcast it was it was. It was a lot of work, though that was exhausting, but it was fun podcasts are a lot of work.
Speaker 2:thank you for noticing that. By the way, I feel seen now, um, because yeah, podcasts are a lot like. I get so like so many questions because, like I do like video production full-time. So people always approach me saying like, oh, I want to start a podcast. I see, like what you're doing, I want to do that too. And I'm just like, do you realize how much goes into that? And like it's not just lights, camera action, microphones, all this stuff. It's not just like you just sit in front of a microphone and people are going to listen. Like you have to have a message, you have to have a reason for doing things and you have to have a plan Like who's your audience? How are you going to provide them with something? Like it's not just, oh, put me in front of a microphone and people will listen to me talk.
Speaker 3:I wish it were that simple. But I think it took us about two months in where we realized like, wow, we have to come up with new topics every week. That's crazy. Like how do we not run out of things? To talk about it's nuts.
Speaker 2:It's a lot, especially like because I'm so bad at scheduling things, like I've tried to schedule this with you how many times now, and it's been months, it's been, you know to schedule this with you. How many times now and it's been months, it's been, you know. I mean it's been since the whole dairy boot camp. Which amazing time that was great do you know.
Speaker 3:Every time someone asks me what was your favorite uh brand deal that you've ever had and I'm like, honestly, I did this dairy boot camp, and it was by far the most fun experience I've ever had.
Speaker 2:It was so fun, seriously, like whenever they hit me up about it, I was like, uh, this is so different than anything I've ever been like presented. Like most of the time it's like hey, come to our restaurant. Hey, come do this. Hey, do you want to be a dairy farmer? I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 3:Sign me up. I was like that sounds like fun yeah, and then we showed up by far the the most fun experience for people listening, I'll provide context.
Speaker 2:We were dairy farmers for what?
Speaker 3:two days yeah, I guess it was two to three days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah it was a couple days where, like we flew in super early, immediately went to a farm like two hours outside minneapolis and then just became dairy farmers. We milked cows, we churned butter, we learned about food, we jumped in food I was.
Speaker 3:We made a really shitty smoothie for like a good two weeks after same same like where's all?
Speaker 2:this. I was like oh, there's another piece, oh there there's another one.
Speaker 3:I was telling people dairy facts that you know the average person shouldn't know.
Speaker 2:We had dinner in their house and they were so nice to us Like and it was good dinner too.
Speaker 3:It was some good dinner. We made some good butter man.
Speaker 2:Yo, that butter was crazy, the butter was crazy. Okay, I remember adding that like chipotle, it wasn't chipotle, it was like hot sauce with honey.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you did your thing.
Speaker 2:You put your foot in that but we, like I said, we did not do well with the smoothie, that was. I watched that video back and I was like you know what? What were we really thinking with those ingredients?
Speaker 3:I just think I, I okay. Okay, I think we actually weren't that bad. I think we were the healthier choice and they were more so focused on like taste, but I thought health was really the point of this. Okay, and it didn't taste bad.
Speaker 2:It just wasn't as fruity, I mean it didn't taste bad, but like it didn't taste good, I thought it was fine, it was green and it was, it was very green, that was a very it was. It was very green. It was very green and it was very healthy. Yeah, yeah, because see we're sitting here talking about it we have the most memorable smoothie dang, I should have worn my sweatshirt, my dairy sweatshirt is it not hot in chicago right now?
Speaker 2:I'm in the house though. Okay, that's a good point, but I'm like it is like 93 here in st louis today hot out here.
Speaker 3:It's like 70 some degrees maybe 80s.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, did you say it's hot out here?
Speaker 3:it's 70 something yeah, is that not hot? That's like the perfect weather okay, yeah, I think 60s is the perfect weather why do I feel judgment right now? That's just me. You feel judgment. You just judge me, you just I didn't I?
Speaker 2:I asked a question. Question that, that's what that was wow, dante.
Speaker 3:Is this how you treat people? Come on your podcast.
Speaker 2:Oh my god I'm just trying to find out more information about why 70 degrees is warm. That's all all right. It's a perspective different than mine, so I'm trying to understand, see I see, I see what you did there I definitely just made that up. I was judging, I'll admit it damn. Have you returned to the nine to five life or are you still creating full-time?
Speaker 3:okay, so technically right now I'm still full-time creator, but I am starting a new job in the next two weeks okay okay, big moves I never thought I'd be excited for this, but I am because I'm bored are you just like?
Speaker 2:are you done with this creative life?
Speaker 3:I hate it oh I hate it. I hate it, it's because like it's so intertwined with like life in general.
Speaker 2:I like the separation of like leaving work and being done okay, that is very valid, especially because, like you being a public figure, you are the brand. So, like you as a person, yeah, I get that.
Speaker 3:I hate it. I hate it so much but quite honestly, I don't think. I think when I quit my job last year because it's only been a year of me being full time Even when the show came out, I still worked full time for a full year, year and a half after, and did influencing.
Speaker 3:But when I quit my job, I realized I'm making enough money influencing in order to pay my bills and that's all I needed. And so really, when I quit, I just wanted to not work. And that that's what influencing is for me, because I don't do it for real, for real, like I'm not. I'm not the best influencer because I don't put out content as often as I should. I don't write, sit down and write a whole schedule like I'm supposed to. I just do the bare minimum, okay, and that's probably why my engagement is so low.
Speaker 2:Um, but that's okay what are you talking about? Is it low?
Speaker 3:what it's low, it's low is it? It's low on the things that matter, like my stories, because that's where like brands are really paying. They don't pay for like reels as much anymore. They don't pay for posts as much. They pay for the stories and my story engagement is so bad Like it's so bad for me to have this many followers and like.
Speaker 2:What is so bad?
Speaker 3:Okay, right, cause this is always relative, depending on the person.
Speaker 2:So I have right now. What is so bad?
Speaker 3:I have about 860 something K followers. Right On a good day, my stories get about 15 K views, which to me is insane. For me to have 860 something thousand followers. I don't even think that's a third. That's not even like.
Speaker 2:Hold up, there's got to be a calculator for this 1.7%.
Speaker 3:Okay, the only reason why I said it is 1.7. This is why I think this is the correct math. I did 15 divided by eight, 60. I don't know if that's right, it sounded right in my head. And then I multiplied that by a hundred for the percentage which is 1.7. Is that right?
Speaker 2:You just asked me, like like I knew which. I thank you for having that kind of faith in me to do a math equation, but I can't give you a confident answer.
Speaker 3:So, theoretically, possibly I don't know it might only be like 1.7 percent of my following, and I'm saying 15K on a good day. Most of the time it's about like 10. What I realized, though, is like being a reality star and like all of a sudden turning into an influencer. People don't want to buy it from you, like that's not. That's not why they're following you. They want to follow you for drama, or they want to follow you to see your relationship, or they want to follow you to see anything related to why they followed you, which is, for us, whatever show we're on um, so for you to all of a sudden start selling things.
Speaker 2:They're like girl shut up they're like I don't want to click the link. Yeah, I don't need to click the link in the bio, or I don't need, I don't need to go to your amazon storefront like girl, you can't dress like, I can't dress like.
Speaker 3:That's pretty much um dead yeah but it's.
Speaker 2:So you're done with the influencer life like as a whole, or are you just like I'm going to take a step back?
Speaker 3:last couple of months where my podcast ended and my management. I no longer have management because my contract ended and I told him I didn't want to continue because I thought I was going to quit for real, for real. So now you had a management for that, for brand deals and stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you think I'm going to respond to emails. I'm not responding to emails. Also, I don't know anything about what my rate is supposed to be and like all that stuff. So I'm like why don't we just give that to like professionals? Because I don't know.
Speaker 2:I guess it's nice to have somebody to do that for you. I can't you do that all by yourself. Hey, listen, it's rough out here, okay.
Speaker 3:Is that?
Speaker 2:what normal influence is? I don't think normal people.
Speaker 3:I don't know. Wow, Dante, you do it all. Huh, Dante, do it all. I try Shoot. Is that my tagline now?
Speaker 2:Dante, do it all. Do it all, Dante.
Speaker 3:Dante, do it all.
Speaker 2:I like that, do it all Dante, do it all Dante. There we go.
Speaker 3:I like it. Sorry, I like that.
Speaker 2:I do want to touch on the topic of divorce, because and the reason why is because this is something that a lot of people don't know about me I haven't been through a divorce, but I have broken off an engagement before, so you know, it's like it's a big step to like, say like, say yeah, no, I actually don't want to do this, this isn't working.
Speaker 2:And I made a video talking about my experience because it's something that I feel like not a lot of people talk about, like the real stuff and like these are real events. So I made a video and I still get comments like to this day, that are people like like what do I do now? Like or oh, your video, like talking about how you went through it, that helped me kind of navigate my way through it, and like the it's just real stuff that we all got to talk about because it's part of the human experience that, yeah, it happens. So if there's somebody out there right now listening or watching that's going through a divorce, what kind of message do you want to send to them and share that might be going through a similar situation, even if it's just like as simple as show up for yourself, or something Okay.
Speaker 3:So I think what I realized in my divorce is that I was, in the beginning, doing myself a disservice by not being honest with how I was feeling.
Speaker 3:So I think, what I would tell anyone going through a divorce right now is that everything that you're feeling is normal. You're experiencing a death of someone who's still alive. So, whether you're feeling confused, whether you're feeling angry, whether you're feeling like for a second did I make a mistake Like everything that you're feeling is normal, you have to feel through it. Don't act on it, but feel through it and cope the way that you feel that you should cope, just as long as you're being safe with yourself and safe with other people around you. If you want to mope for two weeks, two months straight, I don't know mope, I don't care. Do what you need to do in order to feel through it, because what happens is, as time goes on, you realize you get better. You get better, you can cope better. All of a sudden, it's like a year has passed. It's like damn, I've been divorced for a year.
Speaker 3:I don't know who the hell that bitch was, but I'm a new bitch, so it's just like you got to feel through it. You really do have to feel through it. Don't act on it, but feel it feel it all and be honest with yourself, be consistently checking in and self-reflective. And, like I was confused yesterday, today I feel very clear. Tomorrow I might be confused again, but like, nonetheless, like growth, healing isn't linear, it's it's all over the place.
Speaker 2:So you just got to give yourself patience enough to work, work it through experience with something and draw comparisons to their own, like, oh, that person's doing okay, why am I not doing? Okay, and it's like everyone's gonna navigate through it differently. And, like you said, if you got to take time just to like sit around to do nothing, that's okay, that's okay. If you actually want to like go out and like I don't know hike or something, or like go completely, try something new, do it, that's okay. Uh, you gotta have grace with yourself. You went crazy yeah what?
Speaker 2:okay, this is a, this is a big moment right now. This is huge that caught me off guard that was so that was cool crazy that I'm feeling a lot of emotions right now because like I'm kind of like whoa, that was so neat and I'm like wow, you actually did another.
Speaker 3:I know I have another one finally, it's allowing me to okay you've unlocked a new one I don't even know if you're gonna use this, but for those of you who are listening, if you're using a macbook or an iphone of any kind, you're on facetime or using a video if you put up a thumbs up, it'll put up a thumbs up emoji. If you put up a heart, it'll do like hearts, and apparently, if you put the rock out sign for both of your hands, it'll do like a disco thing behind you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's kind of cool, but yeah, that how I coped I uh, I went a little cray-cray there for a second I was rah-rah and all over the place I went. I was going out a lot. Uh, you know that drake song going out and uh, wherever the hell he said acting brand new or whatever. That's what I was doing. I said it's time to. It's time to act a plumb fool. And that's exactly what I did and it made me feel so much better. I was a little chaotic, but it was great hey, but chaotic energy though is like the best.
Speaker 2:It's the best, it's like the way to go. Does that do it? Honestly? Yeah, but no, I mean, whenever I broke off my engagement, I kind of went a little crazy too. I was just like going out and just doing stuff, just like, oh, I'm gonna go try doing this. Oh, I'm gonna go to this place. Oh, I'm gonna like I don't know, I just just doing stuff, just like, oh, I'm gonna go try doing this. Oh, I'm gonna go to this place. Oh, I'm gonna like I don't know, I just was doing stuff, yeah, but it's like. That's kind of like the fun part is like you get to learn more about you and you get to just enjoy things it's really it's like a new perspective.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because, like while that may be like a death. To an extent, it's also another form of freedom, maybe not the best kind of freedom. It doesn't feel great in the beginning, but like something that, whether you're the one who got broken up with or whether you're the one who did it, it's like letting go of something that's clearly not working well for you anymore and like moving towards something that is a better fit, and I think that there's a beauty in that I think the hardest part about adulting is learning to release things that aren't meant for you anymore whether that's friendships or jobs or and kind of taking on that, that idea of like fuck, I have to like start over again.
Speaker 3:But I think that's the beauty in it. It's still the hardest lesson you have to learn, but nonetheless, like there's beauty in it.
Speaker 2:Life's meant to be fun. It's meant to be a journey and like, do crazy things. There's a lot like you could go play kickball or something Kickball When's the last time you played kickball?
Speaker 3:I might have been in high school Exactly.
Speaker 2:Exactly See.
Speaker 3:I don't even know if I can run in a straight line. I'm not sure I've ever tried anymore. It's been like a decade since I've ran.
Speaker 2:See, you could find out.
Speaker 3:I don't think I want to find out.
Speaker 2:Okay, All right.
Speaker 3:Oh, actually I tried to play pickleball. It was terrible.
Speaker 2:Oh, how did that go?
Speaker 3:I just don't. I'm not athletic, I don't have the skills, I have poor depth perception, poor reaction time, there's no mind to body awareness. So I just don't think I'm meant for sports oh no.
Speaker 2:But I do have a smart ass mouth and a quick wit.
Speaker 3:So I think I'm meant for like card games and like.
Speaker 2:Or you could be like the commentary. You could be like talking about what you see and like talking about how the match is going is exactly what I was doing honestly, that's the way to go, like you just got to be talking about, just like. Oh, this person just missed that swing. Oh, they'd be messing up, yeah, oh, I think they're getting a little upset.
Speaker 3:Oh, oh, this new thing sees hot shit. Oh, you just got humbled, sir. Yeah, maybe we should be commentators of something. I think we'd do a good job.
Speaker 2:Should we? I think we'd do a really good job. Should it be a sport? What sport?
Speaker 3:I need something that could possibly be funny, like something where people can fall.
Speaker 2:Like an obstacle course.
Speaker 3:Okay that If we were commentators for like Total Wipeout, that would be fun.
Speaker 2:Yo, I would do that 100% you would be the commentary. You just do total wipeout I'm not trying to get like have you seen total wipeout and like they'd be slipping and falling and getting hit.
Speaker 3:I'm not trying to do all that you want to hear a production secret yeah sometimes. I heard that they'll like put baby oil and stuff on like the the handles and like on the balls and stuff, so people can purposely.
Speaker 2:It's not meant to be one that's called sabotage and that is not nice. That's mean, how dare that? That's rude, that's wow you would have thought you had it so you could go in, you could do all this, this prep work, you could do all this training. You could be like, yeah, I've been training day in, day out. I wake up at 7 am and I do a 16 hour shift of training for wipe out, and then they can still, it just takes a little bit of baby oil and then you're done.
Speaker 3:And you're done? Just get wiped out by some baby oil.
Speaker 2:That's tragic.
Speaker 3:Isn't that tragic.
Speaker 2:Production. You know this is coming from somebody that you know I do the video stuff that's evil but genius at the same time.
Speaker 3:You know you should get into production world. You'd probably be a pretty good producer. Yeah, like reality TV production stuff.
Speaker 2:Me as a reality TV producer would be such an interesting job.
Speaker 3:They don't get paid a lot, though, from my understanding. But the cool part about it is you can seriously travel anywhere, anywhere and stay in that city for, like, whether it's weeks or months, and uh, once you're in, like you could probably have pretty constant income because everyone knows everyone. It's like a small world I believe it honestly it's a very small world like it's.
Speaker 2:It's a if you know, you know who you know, kind of deal. Yeah, maybe we could. We could start a new reality tv show with wipeout, but it's like called something different, like slip up slip up slip up, then that's the best I could come up with. Okay, we got. We got time to to iron out the details. Pending name yeah, so, before I let you go, what are your current projects, what do you got going on and what's in store for the future?
Speaker 3:You know, I wish I had something cool to say about this, and this is also a part about. This is why I'm kind of sad the podcast is ending, cause it was really cool to be like oh, actually, I'm a podcaster. Um, I don't have shit, I'm living life like a normal person. Now I am going back to work in a few weeks and that's really all that's going on. I don't have any new projects. I don't even have like. I have nothing but a new relationship, which is pretty cool. I like that, that's cool.
Speaker 2:That's pretty neat. I mean it seems like it's going pretty neat. It's going very well, we live together. It's pretty neat, I mean it seems like it's going pretty neat.
Speaker 3:It's going very well. We live together like it's pretty well. Everyone's like ayana, are you? Do you want to return back to normal life?
Speaker 1:and I'm like, yeah I do it's like yeah, I think it's time reality tv.
Speaker 2:It was an accident would you do another reality show if it was like I don't know, some type of home makeover or some kind of another one, I do any reality show just as long as it's not about my love life anymore, or it's like trash ish TV where it's not like such serious stakes like getting married in the end Like Perfect Match.
Speaker 3:I don't know if you know about the new netflix show perfect match. That's very clearly like not real serious stuff, like it's just like trash tv. So I do something like that um I mean I can't because I'm in a relationship, but if I were single I'd do that. Uh, because like, whatever, like no one's taking this that seriously and I'm not getting married in the end. I just would never like do such serious stakes like getting engaged or married. What the fuck was I thinking? Why did you? Let me do that, dante?
Speaker 2:okay, whoa, hold on, what whoa. That's my fault. What did I have to do with that? Hold it sorry, I didn't even.
Speaker 2:I didn't even know what the show was about I just watched the show for the first time a couple months ago. I'm you know, I that's. That is my bad. I apologize for slipping up. I really should have been looking out for you and been like yo, what, why would you even want to do that? Yeah, but instead I just didn't even know you existed, like that. That's really rude of me. That's my bad. That's my bad. I'm sorry. I apologize for the inconvenience. Next time I'm going to do better. Just don't go on any more TV shows like that.
Speaker 3:I should just steer clear as a whole, but anyways, I don't know the Is it shows like that. Maybe I should just steer clear as a whole, but anyways, I don't know the.
Speaker 2:Izzet cake does look fun to be on.
Speaker 3:I mean they are fun. They're definitely a lot Okay. They're exciting. I won't say fun Fun isn't the word I would use but exciting is definitely the word.
Speaker 2:It's a new endeavor.
Speaker 3:Yes, it is. It's an exciting endeavor. I'm trying to come up with different ways to say it. It's also just so unique. I think only only like maybe one percent of the population have been on reality tv.
Speaker 2:It's just such like a small it really is like most people don't know somebody like directly that's been on it, yeah, so it is a pretty unique experience. Yeah, that didn't do any emote, that didn't do anything.
Speaker 3:It didn't do anything. No.
Speaker 1:Okay, no nothing.
Speaker 2:I thought maybe it would Nothing. This piece, something. Now I'm really trying to figure out how that means balloons. But does that double the balloons? Now confetti what am I seeing right now? That is so cool come on, there we go. I was why did it only drop three pieces?
Speaker 3:I thought I was crazy. I was like, did it just give you like three confetti?
Speaker 2:you said, you're good damn yeah wow, just no, it just gave me like a little, that was it literally said yay yeah, that was the most monotone, lackluster walmart level confetti I've ever seen in my life. So you're going back to quote normal life.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I'm excited to see what happens.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'll still be sharing some things on social media, just maybe not as often, I don't know. I really just got to get into the routine of like returning back to work again, I feel like that's going to be a big transition, like returning back to work again. I feel like that's going to be a big transition, but once I get back into that, I feel like maybe I'll like return back to social media and be a little bit more present. But you'll see some updates.
Speaker 2:Oh, I mean, you just gotta, just gotta, enjoy it. Yeah, Just be chilling, take a step back, do your thing. It's a huge adjustment, I'm sure so. Yeah, it's a huge adjustment, I'm sure so. Yeah, for those that want to keep in touch with your occasional social media posts, where can people find you?
Speaker 3:On Instagram, on TikTok at Ayanna I-Y-A-N-N-A. Dot Amor, a-m-o-r. I'm not just saying that for cultural appropriation, that is literally my middle name.
Speaker 2:Thanks for tuning into the show. Bye Cool, we did an outro Like hellas ago.