Nose Work to Network w/Agnieszka Janarek

In Season 2, Episode 14 of  we delve into the Agnieszka Janarek's  journey of Tromplo's creation and its founder's challenges in the realm of mental health. Initially, Tromplo operated on Facebook, where she  connected with dog trainers and enthusiasts, but soon realized the limitations of social media for business. Evolving from a Facebook group, Tromplo was formally launched in 2019 as a platform for animal training, emphasizing science-based methods like Applied Behavior Analysis. 

This episode explores  Agnieszka's vision of Tromplo, the challenges of running it single-handedly for two years, and the pivotal decision to invite colleagues to join and contribute to this growing project.

The discussion also touches on the mental health aspects of managing a growing business. Agnieszka shares personal experiences of handling the stress of business growth, the importance of setting boundaries, and learning to delegate tasks. Together we take a deep dive into the complexities of transforming a passion into a successful business, the mental resilience required, and the journey from being a solo entrepreneur to building a team.

The conversation extends beyond Tromplo, offering insights into the importance of self-care, managing work-life balance, and the need to occasionally step back and reassess for sustainable growth and mental well-being.
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What to support Agnieszka?
tromplo.com
Follow Agnieszka on IG- @agnieszkajanarektrainer
Follow Agnieszka on TikTok- @agnieszkajanarek
Follow Tromplo on YouTube- @tromplo
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Transcript

0:07

. Welcome back to the Leashed Mind Podcast. I'm your host, Mandy Boutelle. On today's episode, I have a conversation with Agnieszka Janarek from Tromplo. So first off, I was So honored that she reached out to be on the podcast. I am a huge fan of Tromplo, I have taken courses on that platform, so I was really excited that she wanted to come on and talk mental health and talk about her process of not only just creating Tromplo and the journey that was for her and her mental health, but also talking about perfectionism and how. Having that be the goal isn't always the best thing, and sometimes just getting it done and kind of more or less telling our brains to kind of shut up and stop working against us. it was really reassuring to I am not the only one that deals with that, as I know many of you as well, our listeners hit these speed bumps, just like I do. So hearing from someone who I personally view as very successful and probably doesn't experience the things I've experienced. Um, and then hearing that she does, it was just very comforting and knowing that. A, I'm not alone in that and B, you know, we can really be our own worst enemies when it comes down to it. So we talk about perfectionism. We talk about goal setting and really being able to not only let go of projects to be able to delegate, but also letting go of the. Internal monologue and thought process that can happen when we are trying to accomplish big things. And then sometimes we end up talking ourselves out of it or letting the negative ruminate and take up way much more space and time than it deserves from us. but this conversation was so awesome. So healing in so many ways because being able to relate on so many of these topics that I know a lot of us. really think about and, and let take up too much of our time. but I'm just gonna, I'm going to stop explaining it because this is such a good episode and it's a long one. So I want you guys to get the most of it. Let's get into the episode. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. It's such an honor to chat with you finally and talk all things mental health. Um, so first I really just want to find out how you started Tromplo and The process and that, and then we can really like, weed through it. Okay, thank you for having me. I'm really honored to be here. And, uh, Tromplo, well, it started organically, sort of. It started with me, teaching, like, starting doing nose work at first, and sports with my dogs, but mostly nose work, and bringing kind of like nose work to Poland, because we didn't have nose work in 2015 and, I just, I just fallen in love with the sport while I was in the States. And, I decided, like, it has to be in Poland. So I started to, do the seminars, to teach people. And I created the Polish Nosework Association. So we started to train judges, the, instructors, and, like, bringing the sport to people, uh, in Poland. And it was great, and the people were super excited about it, and it sort of, like, Organic rate grew to different countries in Europe and, people wanted to have classes with me and, obviously, it was possible for people in the local area, but also when I was traveling to do the seminars, they wanted to, like, stay in touch. So we did it on Facebook. So first, like, The first draft of Tromplo was on Facebook. that's always where it starts, oddly enough. Yeah, exactly.. So there like Facebook groups and I was traveling a lot to conferences and, uh, you know, learning and, getting to know a lot of, dog trainers, animal trainers in the industry. And, also teaching seminars abroad. At some point, Facebook was not enough, I mean, it was all messy, like, it's hard to, to use, like, have all these groups, and, notifications, like, your private life, with your, business, and, it's difficult. Oh, yeah. And, So, so I decided that I need to make it more formal, but I always wanted it to be, like, not only dog training, but more for animal training, and it was the time where I got really deep into applied behavior analysis, and I wanted, I decided that it's always better to do things with Other people. So I invited my colleagues friends if they would like to join me with this project that I was starting Tromplo and they, like surprisingly, all said yes, , uh, even like at the very beginning, they didn't even know what they were signing up for. So, I started to build the platform in 2018 and it was launched in 2019. and, with, A group of amazing trainers. So, yeah. 2019. And it's, just, keeps growing. So modest. I mean, it was, it was a group effort. Definitely. Uh, because, I think, like, what I wanted is, like, to get people, what unites people at Trumplo, the, the, the faculty is that, Science, the applied behavior analysis and positive reinforcement, obviously, but, uh, the fact that they all are somewhere around ABA, and using, science based methods and training. So you started it kind of, were you managing the Facebook group and everything kind of on your own and doing it on your own before you reached out to others? How many years did you do that for? two, four, three. Oh, wow. Okay. That is a lot for a single person to be doing. Um, definitely. And then managing Tromplo from like, obviously I was not a programmist and, and tech per person, uh, but, uh, you know, managing the social media and everything. It was just me for like two years. Yeah. So it was. Quite a journey at that time. A lot of work. Definitely in the realm of mental health with that in building that I know from my own experience with wolf culture and the leashed mind, how daunting that is for a single person to take on. Did you kind of just notice, like when you were kind of getting ready to really go into Tromplo and have the platform itself? Were you just like, I gotta get people on this, like, this is not gonna be good for me, like, did it affect your mental health at all during that growth period? Uh, you know, it was, there were ups and downs, definitely. And sometimes there were moments like, when I got into a moment like, I don't know if I can handle it anymore on my own, I definitely need someone to help me with. But then, it's not easy also to, navigate, it's like. When you want to grow your business, you, you also get into a point where you need to find a person that understands also the values that you follow, because like you can get someone who is going to help you scale the business, uh, but then there are compromises, right? And, uh, you have to have someone who actually understands what you're doing and the values behind it and, and everything that, builds the whole, uh, Let's call it the brand, right? And, uh, because, and then it's really You wait, or at least I waited, because I wasn't sure that, you know, the person that I'm choosing is gonna It's gonna be so hard to choose that person, that it's gonna be easier for me to do it. But then you I thought that's where I am right now, yes. Because it's like, if you're gonna keep explaining to that person Like, no, I'm sorry, but you cannot use this image because this dog doesn't look like, like, you know, all this details that we know is like, you have to find someone who is a professional in both, their skill set. Yeah, yeah, they have, like, they are an animal trainer with a science based skill and everything, and then they are great at, uh, you know, social media advertising and everything, and then this is like, you know, difficult. But, it's doable. And, uh, it means that you have to learn to delegate. And of course you can, and you have to delegate at some point because it's, it's impossible. And it's, your time, sometimes it's more valuable than, than other things. And you have to have, find, you know, find that balance. Exactly. Now, I think delegating is one of the biggest markers for growth, but it's also a point that can kind of hold some people back because either we feel like we don't know how to delegate or it feels like For me, I feel like I'm fine having all the pots on the stove and managing it myself, and I'm just like no, it's fine I got it. I got it. I got it It's boiling over but I got it because I don't want to ask someone to do it because it is that part of us being so committed to positive training and science based training methods of Yeah, I could go find a designer. I could go find a social media manager, but do they have the same core values and commitment to those methods that I have? And that's where it really gets thick in the weeds of trying to find people, or they're like, maybe not open to understanding it. And then you have to explain it. That can be a headache for a lot of people. And I think that's where a lot of us get hung up on. It's fine. I'm not going to delegate because I don't want to. and then you like the pile of things just gets bigger and bigger and you drown in it. Yes, and you get discouraged, but maybe because, you know, it's, it's gonna get hectic at some point. And I think it's super important to go like the like it because it's never going to be perfect. And I think it's not about like, When it comes to sports, because I'm also like, into sports a lot, or whatever, or business, or anything you do, like, being perfect is the opposite of success, actually. Ooh, I love that. Because it's It's not a matter that if you are going to fail, because you are going to fail at some point. Like, if you try doing something, you are going to fail. Like, this is, this is how it works, because we don't have enough data. I mean, I'm all into errorless learning, and, uh, but we don't have enough data to avoid errors. They are not necessary for the learning process, but they happen. So, if you're trying to be perfect, It's gonna just get worse. It's the opposite of what will Get you going and the thing that for me is Kind of like a measure of success is how you respond when you fail, right? it's you know that you can just get back on track and Just don't dwell on the past and dwell on the thing that just happened just move forward because the Setbacks they are going to be on your road. I mean, this is normal. So You just need to learn how to respond to them and how to learn from them and just move forward, just consider them a feedback like we do with our animals, right? Like when, when they make a mistake, we just, consider their like, yeah, feedback information that something in the environment, you know, was, was giving them a different cue, right? And, we, I think we all would be better if we start applying what we, do with our animals to ourselves. Oh, you just hit the nail on the head there. Something, and you're going to love this, something I've been telling myself since I've been in therapy and doing my own work, and then growing my business and also doing training, something I've been telling myself repeatedly when I hit these failures or hiccups, anything with any of it, the process, I always have been telling myself, it's all data. It's all information. It's just information. It's not failure. It's like, okay, well, That didn't work in this situation. That's just information to me of how do I pivot? How do I change this? And I feel like that's really helped with my outlook of not beating myself up towards trying to do everything perfectly because I feel like you're so right that like When we aim for perfectionism and just getting things just the right exact way We're not gonna grow because we're just gonna keep trying to get this thing. That is really not attainable and Yeah It's just gonna, we're getting in our heads too much with it. when you were working to grow Tromplo, did you kind of realize that in the process of just like, did you want it a perfect exact way? Or were you just like, we got to just go for it and see? No, I, I wanted a perfect way. You're human. Yeah. I learned the hard way. but, it's also like what I, What actually my coach helped me realize my sports coach is that, you know, if you, in reality, if you're dreaming about accomplishing something big and regardless what big means for you, it's not like, there is no one big thing, like for each of us, it's a different thing. It's not going to be easy, because if it was, like, everybody would be doing great things, right, and it would be, you know, just a regular thing, and if you're up for those great things, you just have to learn that they are difficult, and you have to get along with it, and there is a difference between, perfectionism and, like, being diligent, and doing the work, and I think what I've learned most from sport that gets me into, like, helps me in the business, is that you just, like, don't think too much. Just do. Just do things. Just, uh, if you train hard, if you work hard, and if you really follow the plan, I mean, you think about it, obviously. You come up with a plan and everything. Then you have to trust the training, you have to trust the process, because, you can't just beat yourself about it. Each time if you're not doing progress every single time, that's normal. It's like, it's impossible to do that progress every single time. And, you just need to come to work, come to training, and simply just have fun with it also. Because it's your life, and it's a big part of your life. And, this is Like for me, this is my dream, right? Like, uh, both trompe l'oeuvre and the sport. These are the things that I really want to do. So the fail, they are not even failures. It's like one day is better. The other is not. And I just treat them like a normal part. Yeah, exactly. And I remember there was, there's this book that, from a coach. He was a basketball and a golf coach. And so really good. I don't really like those coaching books, but this one is really great. How Champions Think what he said there like really resonated with me was that. Imagine that you're that someone comes with like a higher power You don't have to, like, whatever you believe in. You don't have to believe in anything else. But something that has power over everything comes to you and says, I'm gonna be taking care of your career. You just have to work hard. And you will be the best in the world. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna make it happen. But you just have to come to work, enjoy it, and just, you know. work and have fun with it. And then suddenly you realize that this you don't really care if you win this tournament or if you achieve this goal in business because at the end if you just keep working really hard, it's all gonna come up fine. You just don't think about the small step along the way. Oh my God, I will have to think about one competition that I didn't want two years ago, right? What does it matter? It doesn't matter completely in a one year out in a 10 year outcome, right? In the future, you just, you're not going to remember it. And it's so much better to focus on just enjoying the process. And not thinking that one failure It's defining you also as a person, because it's not, it's just, like, the information is just the data. Right. No, I think when you previously said like it's it's approaching ourselves like we would with a training plan with our animals It's the same thing but I think so many times we are able to have that scientific training brain and say like look this is the Plan this is what we're doing. Don't beat yourself up. It's not linear. It's gonna change But then when it comes to us and our own progress, we're just like no, it should be perfect We should be doing this should should should should that we are drowning in all these shoulds when it's just like who's putting this on us who is making this guideline for us of we should be doing this when it's like We chose this profession for a reason, we want to help others for a reason, we got into working with animals because we enjoy it, but then we drown ourselves in the shoulds that we kind of lose that, like, love and enjoyment for it, and that's how so many of us end up leaving the industry. Hi, me, because it's just feeling like we're not enough and not enjoying that process. and it's the comparison. It's so easy to get in our heads with that and spiral out. Exactly. Yeah, absolutely. And I also think that when it comes to like making thinking about our progress is that we definitely, we would put ourselves as a consider ourselves our clients. We would approach this completely, like, absolutely differently. Totally. So, like, if you imagine that you have to give an advice to a friend who is exactly in the same situation, probably an absolutely different advice that you give to yourself. You word it entirely differently. Oh, yeah. And you're softer and nicer. Yes, exactly. And also, I think that sometimes we, think that We don't allow ourselves the fact that yes, there was a like, we have to acknowledge that there was a failure. And we have to make sure that , we noticed that we didn't, I don't know, uh, hit the goal that we had, that there was something like, you know, that, that there was a setback and we spent so much time thinking about it, and we don't spend as much time when we have, achieved some goals or success. Right? It's like the opposite, like the, the ratio should be the opposite. Even the matching law. When we talk about animals, it's like when you don't focus on a crooked sit when your dog sits, uh, incorrectly in heel position. If it happens once, you can reinforce it and then just focus on the next repetition, the ratio of the correct one to the incorrect one, so that it'd be higher. And yet, when we come to ourselves, when it comes to ourselves and we think about, the failures, we think about them so much that this kind of mindset is being really reinforced. And the ratio is so much higher of the things that we focus that we shouldn't, we couldn't, we, we did wrong and correctly, than the fact that we are awesome and we are doing an amazing job. Exactly, yeah. so, I think that, that really great solution would be consider ourselves the learners that we, we teach every day and that is gonna be awesome. Right. If only it was that easy, but it, but it is, it's like a muscle that we haven't worked and it needs to be strengthened and I love that you're talking about like not hitting those goals and those failures and just kind of like, okay, data, because I feel like, I don't know if you've seen my whole whiteboard setup that I do of just funneling things down and I make these goals, but something I really try to drive home to people is that do not beat yourself up if you do not hit those goals. It is just data. What was going on with you in your environment, in your life, work, that affected that. There is going to be an exterior factor with your goals that is going to challenge you and set you back. Roll with it and move on. And I say that as someone that used to overthink and fester for years. And I have worked very hard that when I start thinking, Oh, I didn't do that right. I didn't hit that timeline. I picture a stop sign in my head and I'm like, just stop. Just stop. That is what I would tell a friend, just stop. You don't need to go down that. It's not going to make you feel good, and you're better serving yourself if you were just, and I know it takes time to do this, but you're going to better serve yourself if you just say, okay, that, that sucked. What do I do? How do I pivot from this? Instead of going down the shame spiral of, I suck, I'm a failure, because you're beating yourself up, and you wouldn't do that to your friend. You wouldn't do that to your client. So, and you absolutely do not deserve that when you, everything you were doing. Exactly, yes, and I was, I, I used to plan everything very diligently and be, like, if there is a plan, I, I'm gonna do it, like, regardless if there was no way I would, like, if there is a plan, I'm gonna, it's gonna be met. And, Check the boxes. You have to. Exactly. I have to check the boxes. And I learned that, the plan is for me and not I am for the plan. It's not the other way around. So I use the plan to my convenience. Yes! Not the plan uses me, right? Yes! So, It's also the fact that I have trust in myself to the extent that if I fail, I can go back. So, yes, I am a person that is very, like, I have a very hard discipline. I am, like, there is no problem for me to, if I set a goal, I'm gonna do it. But also, I have to, I had to understand that if I am going to just let go sometimes, it's not that This plan was the only thing that was keeping me on correct tracks, right? That I can just step aside for one moment and go back. And I think this is this difference with perfectionism that you can allow yourself to go back because you know that you can get, to step aside and go because you know you can go back. And I think this is something that we, we, a lot of us struggle with is that if there is a failure, especially if you try to be perfect and everything. This is such a stress for you that you just completely break down, and Because, like, how, if you're a perfectionist, how can you fail? I mean, you cannot fail. Right, it's the end of the world when you do. It's the end of the world. And learning that it's not the end of the world and you can fail, it's a game changer, but it's not easy. Right. When you said that, the first thing that popped into my head was the whole, like, push, drop, stick protocol. Because I feel like a lot of the times when we hit these rough spots with any Progress, any learning we're doing, growth, and it's just, okay, I gotta keep pushing, I gotta keep pushing, I gotta keep pushing, or I stick, and then I just get stuck. When I have learned, like, let's take it back a step. Do I need to split this more for myself? Do I need smaller chunks? Because, I go back to the whiteboard, but For the longest time I would make these huge goals and then I didn't split them enough for myself. So then I was spinning my wheels, working, working, working and never feeling like I was getting anywhere. And then my lovely husband stepped in and he was like, I think you're like our dog. And you need to split a little bit more so that you can really get there. And I was like, Oh, I was trying to take on way too big of chunks. Thank you. And thank you for comparing me to our dog. But exactly. But that's so true. It's like we learn for some reason, we train animals and we know we are animals too, right? And this is all, like, you ask any trainer and they say, yes, humans are animals. Like, we, all species, learn the same way. And then, yeah, but no. Uh, no, no. Yeah, but maybe, yeah, the rest of them, yeah, but not me. Uh, I have to do it perfectly. So, yeah, I think we need to, really look at ourselves as exactly the same learners that we have every day. And apply the same rules. And it's also when, like, when I work with clients, we, for example, have a course in shaping. And I tell them every time that you guys are learners too. And, you are very, very often when we train our animals, we are in a difficult position of being the teacher and the learner in the same moment. So sometimes it's better to You know, take just one role and focus even if you, yes, you're going to teach your dog something you don't want to, but you're going to learn yourself new skills. So don't care about what you do with your dog, care about your skills and focus just on you being the learner and your dog just assisting you. and because it's really difficult. To, to take a novice, uh, guardian and ask him to, yes, we are teaching this dog to do X, Y, and Z, and at the same time, just be careful about your mechanics, and, you know, you have to set the antecedent arrangement, and all that, and make sure how you deliver the treat. It's really, it can be difficult, and it's not the way we should do it, because we should split. Right. Well, it, so. And it's like you don't realize in the moment. Oh, I love that you touched on that, that when we are teaching, we are learning, learning about our learner, learning about ourselves, what we need to improve. And it's all again comes back. It's all data. It's all information. But it's so easy to get honed in and zoomed in on that one bit of information that's not clicking for us that we're like, Oh, we suck. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Absolutely. And I think, like, also, we, we do, we all do think too much and overanalyze. And it's very rarely helpful. I mean, there is a time to analyze things. It's not like you have to just, stop thinking and caring about anything. No. But to some point It's important that you think through the benefits or just you know, that, that you analyze your situation, of course, but then when you, sometimes need to let go and just start doing things right and don't think too much about them. Just, just keep doing and like you have a lot of work. Sometimes thinking about the work is really more taxing than actually doing that work. And you, you get stuck, you freeze. Yeah, you freeze, and then you realize that if you just break it down to smaller parts, it's actually not a lot of work, and you can do it, and if you stop thinking about it all the time, you're like, oh my god, I have to, I have to respond to, I have to walk my dogs, and then suddenly you realize that the things that used to be really me. Joyful routines. Yeah. Yeah. Became chores. That's something. Oh my God, I have to do it. Like, come on, you have to go for a walk with your dogs. It's something fun. But then I, like, I remember, a couple of years ago, I was, I was at this point that like, I was doing a list of everything I have to do and everything was a chore at this moment. And I realized like, Oh my God, things that I used to love are right now on the list of I have to do it. Like, I, you know, this is something that has to be done. And it's like, no, it doesn't have to be done. And sometimes, like, really, just don't really care. Like, my coach often told me that when you have to work, just work hard. But when you have to let go, just let go and don't care about it. So, just don't He said it in a not as nice way. He said, like, just don't give a Yeah, he said it like, It was, it rhymes in Polish, but it doesn't rhyme in English. It doesn't sound so cool. But it was something like just don't give too much shit and you will be rewarded. And in a sense that when you have to work, it's not like don't care about the people around and don't care about the work. No, care where you have to, but also just let it go and don't care about anything sometimes. And it really will pay off. It sounds to me and what I'm hearing is it's where you're also giving that power and that time, too. Because if we let that negativity just take up and we give it more energy than it needs, we're charging that battery of negativity. As woo woo, as that might sound. But it really is, it's where you put that focus is where that's gonna go. Oh, there's like a saying of like, Where your energy goes, your energy flows or something like that. But it's true. It's Yeah. Um, it's like you simply reinforce the behaviors, right? It's like, you know, if you if you keep talking, and also we believe we start to believe everything we we say to ourselves. It's like, do you really believe everything your mother says or your friend says? No way, right? Your husband or your spouse, like, no way, right? For some reason, we believe that we are like, omnipotent, that we know everything. And whatever we say to ourselves, it's just, you know, it's the truth. Obviously, it's the truth. If I suck and I tell this to myself, I have to be right. And if Your friend tells you something that you disagree with, you're not suddenly going to take it for granted, like, you're going to question things, right? You're going to ask questions, but we don't do that to ourselves. We just, like, when I, you know, when we hear those voices in our head that tells us that, we are a failure, or we just didn't, we're not good enough. We're like, we're right. You're right. I suck. Yeah, totally. But then, like, the thoughts aren't just that, they're thoughts. Yes. They are, we don't have to respond to them. And we don't have to act on them. And they are not true. But then, on the other hand, we, because we believe in them, they have a very high, like, very strong impact on our behavior. So, it's really better, even if you think it's lying, like, lie to yourself. Start telling yourself Fake it till you make it. Sort of, yeah. Ish, yeah. Yeah, it's like Think about how great you actually are. Right. And, because we are, we tend to be negative too much. It's like when you meet someone, we start to say like, Oh my god, the weather is terrible, right? and we start complaining. We kind of like, really, um. tend to, uh, resonate with people when we start complaining. And, then it becomes like, Oh, no, yeah, there's a lot of things I have to do. Now the work is hard and everything. You become entangled in this mindset of really being negative about everything. And because we believe everything we say to ourselves, it can become a problem. Oh, absolutely. So, It's really good practice to just try being, maybe, I don't like the word optimistic, but for me optimistic, pessimistic is just the way of the behavior, like what was reinforced or punished in our learning history. So it is a label for the behaviors that we, that have been reinforced. So if I was reinforcing a lot of negative thoughts and acting on them, then these are the behavior patterns that we can label. We tend to label this person a pessimistic person, right? But this is just a behavior, so we can change it. We can actually modify it and we can influence it. And this is a cool thing, that we are in control of that. That we can, we can change it, and it's cool. Going back to delegating, I do want to touch on that a little bit because talking about the negativity and the self doubt that I'm sure popped up for you during that time, was it hard in, not only letting go, but being able to feel secure with who you chose to delegate and not having that doubt creep in and the negativity creep in for you of, oh, I shouldn't have let them do it. I'm much better at it. I should just do it myself. Did that make sense? Yeah at some points, definitely, especially at the beginning, but then you see the benefits of it. And then if you really choose, like, it doesn't mean that the person that you will choose the first time is going to be the right person. And sometimes, you know, you just grow apart and, you know, things change and you both need someone, something else, I think the benefits of delegating and giving, because when you, when you like have your own business, like I think majority of us in the industry, you are 24 seven at work, right? Right. And you sometimes having that someone. And the thought that, okay, I can turn off my phone, like really turn off your brain from it, really. Yeah, and I can, like, nothing, and someone's going to take care of it. Right. It's, this is cool, but also if you are not yet delegating, you also can turn off your phone. And so it's the world we're like, it won't end. I know that we live in a culture right now when, you know, if someone doesn't respond to you on a business side in a couple of hours, it's like, Oh my God, why, why did it take so long? But really, we are, unless it's like, we're not, if it's not a medical emergency, if it's like, we really can respond. It's been a day to, you can take a week off and let the people know and the world would not end. but delegating helps you see that sometimes it's okay just to, you know, just forget that you are working and that you are a business owner and, that you can just stop caring for a moment. Well, and knowing that they got you. I think having the right people that you choose to delegate and just knowing that they've got your back. That security will definitely help in feeling like, okay, I can actually breathe and not feel stressed and red in the face from it. Like, exactly. And, uh, yeah, it will, it will also give you more energy to come back and, Replenish. Yeah. Exactly. The change of scenery and, uh, uh, the, the routine. It's super useful and, I used to, right now I, Always go to our vacation spot at the Polish seaside, and I just turn off the phone. I'm there for, during the year it's usually like three weeks. Oh, nice. It used to be like three weeks in a row, but right now it's more like one week, yeah. But, it's really cool. And then you start to miss it. You start to miss going back to work. So, even if you don't delegate yet, I, I really think that taking a break, it's crucial in maintaining your mental health. That is why I have been such a stickler in telling people like take your work email off of your phone. You do not need to be in constant contact with people. They do not. I feel like it is a luxury for people to be able to contact you at a moment's notice. But that does not mean that you owe them that. And it does give you the ability to kind of segregate. The life and compartmentalize in a way of like, this is work time. This is like my human existence time outside of work. And. We do need that enrichment for ourselves and that decompression to come down and lower our stress levels. We say it so many times to clients with their animals, and yet we don't think that we need that when we're the ones like helping everyone with all the behavior and the stress. but something I did want to touch on that you mentioned as far as, Honing in on the negativity. I think that's something that I really encountered big time with woof culture of I'd get all this love and positivity and I'd be like, Oh my God, this is so cool. Even with the podcast, people would be like, I love what you're doing. This is awesome. And then I'd get one bad review and I'm like, I suck. I suck so bad. People hate me. Should I keep doing this? And it happens to me at least like twice a year. And my husband will be like, what are you doing? That was one shitty comment from a crappy person. The ratio is really not in the favor of the negative, yeah. But it's so easy to see the negative and just like, completely forget all the positive and like the progress. And just be like, nope, that one person, they told me I suck and I suck. I remember it was some sort of uh, research, I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna Say it super correctly, I don't remember the details, but I, it was something like a person was doing, it was a sport, an athlete, and there was a crowd divided like 20 people that were praising it. This person and saying like you were amazing after I don't know it was a match or something. You were great. You were fantastic I'm sorry, like a hundred of people like saying you were just terrific and then yeah There was a second group and there were ten person ten people saying you were so crappy were awful like who are you even and What was more important for the athlete was the ten people? not a hundred so I think that we pay too much attention, like people are going to comment and we are not going to, we are never going to please everybody, it's impossible and, right now it's so easy to say negative things because the internet allows you to be anonymous, and, it's always like probably 99 percent of the people who are saying those mean comments won't have the the Guts to tell it to your face when they meet you or even when they not even in person, but even online when they were, you know, seeing you, they would be really, they would, they would, they wouldn't do it. So I think that we should like for me that my platform on the internet, if it's my personal, personal business page or Tromplo business page, it's my platform. It's not someone else's platform. And. You can have your own Instagram and you can say there whatever you want, or, I mean, it's your space. Yeah. But, yeah, the, it's your space. But then if you come to my space, I can delete your comment. I'm sorry if I don't like it. If you do something that I don't agree with and I just don't have to explain myself, and I don't, I just, I can do it because it's my space and. If you don't like it, that's fine. You can have your own space. And I promise I'm not going to go there and comment. And if I do, you can delete my comment. And, I think that people right now treat social media, someone else's social media as a platform to do whatever they want about this person. And, No, it's, it's my, it's my place. I set the rules. It's not democracy. I'm sorry. And if you don't like it, you don't have to be here. And of course, it will like, it's up to you if you delete the comments or not. But for me, if people are, for example, promoting the methods that I disagree with, or they are rude, or I simply disagree. feel they are mean, and they are not bringing anything, It's not genuine. Yeah. Yeah? Then I'm sorry, but I'm gonna delete it. Yeah. And I don't feel bad about it. I just really don't care what you think about me at that time. I mean, this is, this is my place. And, I don't want to see this comment. I don't want to think about it. I just delete it and I just don't even want to engage in the discussion. You're not giving it your time because it doesn't deserve your time. Yeah, and I just think that we have so many people that want our advice and that look for help that we can focus on before. I think it was Dr. Susan Friedman that said that we should focus on people who are open to change first before we go. And, and help them, and then if we just, no longer have these people, we can go and work with people who we need to convince, and, because it's a lot of wasted energy very often, and, if you're out, I mean, You know, if you like discussing, it also brings traffic to your page, so. Right, if you like debating, and it's not gonna affect you emotionally. Exactly, then go for it. And sometimes I do that, but, You gotta be in the right headspace. Yeah. Exactly, and of course, I like to keep it civil, so if people are mean to each other, then, you know, it's, uh, I'm sorry, but no. I think we have to remember that we set the rules when it comes to. Our space on the internet and, people, not everybody's going to like us and that's, that's how the life goes and, uh, we cannot please everybody because it's impossible. I'm so glad because I agree, it's like tenfold, but I'm so glad you touched on that because social media is. Such a hairy place, and people love to give their opinions and unsolicited advice and frankly just shit on someone's space. and I think that's something that I encounter a lot with people coming to me and talking to me and they're just like, Hey, like, what do I do? What do you do? How do you handle the negative comments and the shitty comments from people? And I think for some reason, a lot of us don't want to minimize someone else's experience. And so we do try to give that airtime to that person and let them have that opinion. But then at times, some of us are not emotionally, mentally strong enough to handle these really confrontational comments at times. And we'll either spiral and keep. or we'll let it really go in and bury itself in us and take it in way too personally than we need to. when it's just, it's a keyboard warrior, are they paying you for your services? Are they buying your products? Do they even follow you? Exactly. Like, so what's the point? And I love that you say that you delete the comments because I think a lot of times we try to honor other people's experiences. But then it's just like we're letting that, like, wound kind of fester. Yeah, like it's like someone cut us and we're just like, well, I'm just gonna let that bleed. I'm not gonna do anything. I'm not gonna put a band aid or delete it. but yeah, like I just, I don't know. I, I feel like we don't think we can delete comments or block people when it's like, It's our space, we totally can. Why do these crappy people matter? Why are we giving them that time? Like, there is this option on social media. We actually can. Yes, we can use it. It's there for a reason. Exactly, and it's very helpful. And I think, like I said, sometimes I'm up for discussion because I think Sometimes I'm in the mood for like, okay, it's going to bring more traffic. Right. Feeling a little spicy. You can handle it. Yeah. And it doesn't really bother me. And I actually have more fun. but then if enough is enough, then this is my comfort that I'm going to protect. Yeah. The comfort of people that are on my page and that follow me and that. Have similar, maybe not similar, but they come there to have a civilized discussion or, they want to learn something and I can learn something from them. Then I want these people to have a very positive experience. I just don't want to, allow the person that comes there just to be, you know, a troll. And so, yeah, it's up to you what you're going to do, but you can delete. Well, and not everyone deserves your time and energy just because they are choosing to spend their time on your page and leave whatever negativity they choose to leave. It doesn't mean that you need to. Give yourself to them and give them that piece of you because if it's going to ruin your peace then What it's not productive. Yeah, this one one guy was following me and he was like literally saying Like, commenting on every single post and finding something that was incorrect. And it was, for example, like, he found a typo. So he was like, there is a typo. There are people that love that. Yeah, and then, you know, those Instagram stories where you have, like, polls or, like, the hearts, you can give how much you like it, and then you have the zipper, like, you can choose. And he was always giving the negative ones. And I was like, oh my god, what is your problem? Like, I was literally first interested, like, why'd he do it? Like, I wouldn't, if I don't like someone, I simply don't follow them. Or block them, you don't want to see it, yeah. Yeah, I just, like, unfollow. And, it's You need to know. Yeah, and I blocked him, because it was, like, I decided, like, oh my god, guy, I'm gonna give you, like, It's really annoying you, maybe I'm going to help you, I'm going to block you so you're not going to see it anyway. You're doing him a favor. Exactly, because it's, if it's, if it's so annoying, and if you don't like it so much, maybe you don't know how to unfollow, so I'm going to do it for you. But yeah, some people are just, you know, it just happens, and, we also, and obviously, every behavior happens for a reason. I mean, there is a history of reinforcement, but it's also not always my problem. And, I'm not being, like, I don't want to be rude, but we all struggle with something. Like, every single one of us. And I cannot take, you know, on my, like, I cannot lift everyone else's problems and be worried about, and be conscious, be cautious about them. Because Then it will be too much for me. Right. so Well, and you're not being genuine to yourself either. Exactly. And you have to, if you want to be in the industry, if you want to help people, you also have to really take care of yourself. But this comes, like, with everything. Right. Well, and You have to have the time. Like, at sports, the more difficult things you do The more, time off you need, the more, uh, physiotherapy you need, the more, you know, breaks you need, the more time you need to take care of your body. it's the same in business. It's investing in yourself so that you have the ability for that longevity. If you want to be here, yeah. Totally. Absolutely. And for me, for example, like, really a super helpful time during the day is meditation. I need to get back on that because it is so helpful. Yeah. For me, it's, and it doesn't have to be a specific, like even the time to just focus on nothing but your breath or just not like, yeah, just turn off other senses and, and take a break because sometimes we're just ruminating and really. Starting to go into the vicious circle of, think, just thinking too much. Usually it's very easy to work ourselves up if we let our minds do that because they are very powerful in that realm. something that my husband does and I'm like, you're, that's kind of meditating, but I'm not going to label it for you because you don't want to say you meditate, but he will, he knows that his brain gets ramped up around like 11 a. m. And he's just like, I got to go lay down. I got to focus on my breathing. And it's not a nap. Sometimes he might nap, but usually he just will lay down and just get in control of his breathing and bring himself back down. And I'm just like, exactly. Like that's all we got to do is just like check in with ourselves more because we tell clients to do that with their dogs when there's a big outburst. And we're just like, Hey, what do we do? Like, are we, how's their breathing? Are they tense? What's their positioning look like of their body? Like, we often also say, especially if you work with some aggressive behaviors, reactivity, you have all those. Pre Cursors, right? Right. Things that happened before. So you pay attention to those behaviors that happened just before, and you make sure that you notice those small changes, like hackles up, I don't know, tense ears, and you try not to go over the threshold and, you know, have a full blown episode of lunging, biting, and everything. Right. This is not helpful. And we know that, obviously, like, nobody wants to work with, uh, at the state where the dog is lunging, barking, and trying to eat the, the other dog on the leash. But, then, when it comes to us, we are like, going into, you know, the, we only respond where, At the moment where, shit hit the fan already. We're already, we're in the panic attack. It's already happened. Yeah. And it would be enough to notice, to start noticing those smaller moments that happen and tell you that, Okay, it's time for a break. And for me, like, going, what I do, it's like, I'm getting up very early. And I always just do the meditation first because it gives me, like, this moment to calm down. Take the control of housekeeping. Yeah, and my thoughts. Exactly. And, that I don't need. And sometimes after this, you know, 15 minutes, like the perspective changes. And something that was, like, the most crucial and detrimental thing that's gonna happen, it's like, yeah, okay, I can handle it. It's not that bad right now. It's like an alarm starting to go off and you're just like, Shhhhhh. And then it's like, oh wait, that alarm turned off all of a sudden. Exactly, and, It's so true, and one thing that, I think it was, God, who was it? It was Eminem. yeah, actually. I love Eminem, so this is good. Yeah, me too. it was a guy, because Eminem is a producer also, and there was this guy who was working with him on an album, and he said that he was so surprised when he came to his studio, and Eminem, they were in the middle of a song, and it was like 1am, and Eminem said, okay, I'm going for lunch, I'm gonna be back in an hour. And he was like, but dude, like we have to fit. No, it's the lunch at 1 a. m. I eat lunch. I have a one hour break and I'm going to go back boundaries. And then at, I don't know, 7 p. m. He was like, okay, I'm done. Thank you. See you tomorrow. And he was just right on time at, I don't know, 9 a. m. And, and the guy that was doing this album was like. Why are you doing this? Like we were having, and he said, because I like this work, I really like, but this is also work and I want to keep liking it. And I also have a family and I need to balance this. So no matter what I do, if I'm going to keep those boundaries and give myself the time. to work, but also to have a family life. I'm gonna still like both. And, also, the thing is that tomorrow, the same problems, they are gonna be here. If you're gonna, sometimes we have to understand that, yes, there is a problem. It's gotta be handled. But, if you need time. I mean, it's not a super great thing, but the problem is going to be there tomorrow, right? And you can go. I mean, of course, we're not talking about some emergency that require like right now the decision, right? But majority of our problems is they're going to be there tomorrow. We can sleep on it and process it and come down from. Yeah. Yes. And nothing's going to happen. And you can like your work that you have to do. So like Eminem goes back, like takes a break. Because when he comes back, this work still will be there. It's not gonna disappear. So, sometimes you just do what you plan, and you don't have to just tick all the boxes. You can go back and do them tomorrow. Well, and It's I'm curious, I want to hear how you notice kind of your precursors of like, Oh, I'm getting ramped up. Because for me, physically, I start to notice my shoulders start going up to my ears, my breathing gets really tight and shallow. Or I'll just start getting really irritated and I'll be like, I don't want to do this. I'm pissed off now. And then I'll be like, okay, wait, I actually just accomplished something on my list. I deserve a break. My brain cannot keep festering and going. I need to take a second, walk away, come back. I might feel better. Nine times out of ten, I usually do. So I'm curious. Where do you notice yourself in that, and what have you done when you notice yourself outside of meditation? So, usually for me, it's like, yeah, irritation goes up. and I'm, like, my fiancé, he laughs that I'm like a small kid because I need food, I need the correct temperature, and I can't be tired, because if I'm tired, if I'm hungry, and if I'm cold or hot, I'm starting to whine and I'm difficult to handle. So I first need to check if I notice that I'm getting irritated. I first need to check if I'm hungry. if I'm tired or if it's, if it's too hot, I'm going to get crazy. Or if it's too cold, I'm going to get crazy. So, first like the physical things and usually that's the case. And, then also. I start to notice that I keep thinking, like, in circles, and then I just tell myself to shut up. Yeah, I'm not very nice to myself, but it helps me. It's a muscle, yeah. Yeah, it's a muscle. Like, just shut up. Shut up. And then, I do something else. It's usually, like, focus on my breath for a second. or consider, or think about something good. Think about something that I accomplished. And also, just stop thinking and do the thing that, if it's a thing that I have to do, just do this thing and stop thinking about it. Alright, set a timer and just like, you know, time yourself, just thinking because the more you're going to think about it, the more difficult it's going to get. Right. so just do it and you will see that it's not so bad. I think enough practice of that too. It does get easier at the first time. It's really uncomfortable. Yes, you just have to, but the thing is like the, you have to get comfortable with the uncomfortable very often and learn how to do it. And, it's like with everything that I think that we often, at least it was for me, like I was looking for happiness. To be a permanent state of my life. Oh my God, yes. Same. It's like you got like this, happiness is something that you find you have it, and then it's forever. You keep it right and it, and it's like, it's, it's like a thing that, you know, it's, it's for everything. Like it's a wheel. It's real, and it's, and then I realized that life is not, it's like those happy moments are usually the small moments that you have to cherish. And there are usually very tiny ones, and then it's okay to feel bad, it's part of life, too, and then it's okay. If you were constantly happy, then you would also have a problem. Right, really? And then I think it's, it's about this perfectionism and everything, it's, it's not that you're not gonna fail because you will, it's just about how you respond to it. So you can feel bad, you can feel happy, you can feel, uh, just neutral. And all these things are just absolutely normal and, I just stopped looking for this, you know, unicorn of happiness because it doesn't exist. And that's. It's totally fine. I love that you touched on that because that's something I've been noticing with myself lately of just like why don't I feel happy and it's like it is it's it's a circle and it keeps coming back around because it's part of the growth process because we get that dopamine and that happiness when we achieve something. But if we're still stuck in step one and we're not achieving anything, we're not going to reach that happiness because we're festering on the bad. So I do think that with that growth and hitting goals, however big or small they are, it is reinforcing enough for us. Yeah. And then at some point you will notice that you were feeling bad and then you were feeling well and get that data. Yeah. And this will fluctuate and. You, when I feel like, when I'm irritated, also sometimes it's more for me, uh, an information like, okay, wait till tomorrow or wait an hour and see what happens. Yeah, and see what happens. Maybe it will change. And yeah, it changes. it's also a metaphor I heard somewhere else. you know, there is always a blue sky, but sometimes there are clouds. And the clouds will disappear and there is going to be a blue sky, because it's always there. But then the clouds will come again. And maybe there will be a storm. But then, again, there will be a blue sky, so. but it's also, Just one more thing, a metaphor about thoughts, like those thoughts that we tend to follow and, you know, ruminate. it's a great metaphor for me, it was like A thought is, imagine a bird that you see. You don't You see a bird and suddenly start following like crazy and running after the bird and just trying to not lose the sight of the bird. And you just look at the bird and it flies and then there's another one. So think about your thoughts like this. You don't have to just run after every single bird, every single thought that you have. You can just, you know, see the bird, see the thought and yeah, acknowledge it. Yeah. Yeah. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge it and yeah, there will be another one. It might be a happy one. Who knows? Exactly. Oh my gosh. This conversation has been so incredible. So therapeutic and just recharging in a way. before I let you go, I'd love to ask, is there any advice that you would have given yourself before you really delved into building your business that would have been helpful in the time? Maybe like two bits of advice. It's a hard one, yes. Perfectionism is not a goal. I, I would go there. I would be, like, you're gonna, you're going to fail. And just learn to go back on track. And You want to do a lot of great things, so you will have to learn to work in the discomfort. And it's part of the experience. And the experience is great. yeah. Oh my gosh. No, that's perfect. I think that is a great way to end this because the experience is where you're going to experience the joy too. And that's where the fulfillment is. Exactly. Exactly. Absolutely. Awesome. Well, I hope our listeners take, they're going to take so many bits from this and I hope they're going to feel recharged. But it's been so lovely talking with you. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's been great. I really had a lot of fun talking to you. And if you like what we're doing here on the Leashed Mind podcast and you want to help others find us, make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel, follow us on social media, give us a rating wherever you got your podcasts, whether that's leaving a review on Apple or giving us a star rating on Spotify or just leaving a little R plus on our Facebook page. It's all appreciated. Thank you, and we will be back with another episode.