Reunions are powerful, especially when they bring together old friends with shared histories. Join us on a heartfelt journey as we reconnect with a dear friend and colleague from our Air Force days. We reflect on the bonds forged through Air Force recruiting, the mutual respect that has only grown over the years, and the logistical hurdles of bringing these stories to life on our podcast. Expect to hear deep insights into mental health, wellness, and the resilience that our experiences have nurtured.
One of the most poignant moments of this episode is the personal recount of navigating a rare kidney cancer diagnosis amidst the chaos of the early COVID-19 pandemic. From the initial shock to the intense whirlwind of treatments and the bittersweet balance of parenthood, we explore the emotional toll and the critical support systems that made all the difference. We'll share vivid stories, like scenes from a movie, that illustrate the raw and real journey of facing such a formidable challenge.
Life's adversities, however, have a way of revealing our true strengths. This episode also takes you to unexpected places—from unique dining experiences in Vietnam to the trials and triumphs within a military career. Whether it's the incredible bond formed with fellow patients, the unwavering support from military leadership, or the joy and trials of fatherhood, this episode encapsulates the essence of perseverance, hope, and community. Listen in for an inspiring message on living with purpose and embracing the support systems around you.
Doing Good and Doing Well: Inspiring Helping Professionals to Become Leaders in Their Organizations https://a.co/d/4Ov5WG4
https://sparknstride.com/
http://instagram.com/spark.n.stride?igshid=zddkntzintm=
https://www.youtube.com/@spark.n.stride
Reunions are powerful, especially when they bring together old friends with shared histories. Join us on a heartfelt journey as we reconnect with a dear friend and colleague from our Air Force days. We reflect on the bonds forged through Air Force recruiting, the mutual respect that has only grown over the years, and the logistical hurdles of bringing these stories to life on our podcast. Expect to hear deep insights into mental health, wellness, and the resilience that our experiences have nurtured.
One of the most poignant moments of this episode is the personal recount of navigating a rare kidney cancer diagnosis amidst the chaos of the early COVID-19 pandemic. From the initial shock to the intense whirlwind of treatments and the bittersweet balance of parenthood, we explore the emotional toll and the critical support systems that made all the difference. We'll share vivid stories, like scenes from a movie, that illustrate the raw and real journey of facing such a formidable challenge.
Life's adversities, however, have a way of revealing our true strengths. This episode also takes you to unexpected places—from unique dining experiences in Vietnam to the trials and triumphs within a military career. Whether it's the incredible bond formed with fellow patients, the unwavering support from military leadership, or the joy and trials of fatherhood, this episode encapsulates the essence of perseverance, hope, and community. Listen in for an inspiring message on living with purpose and embracing the support systems around you.
Doing Good and Doing Well: Inspiring Helping Professionals to Become Leaders in Their Organizations https://a.co/d/4Ov5WG4
https://sparknstride.com/
http://instagram.com/spark.n.stride?igshid=zddkntzintm=
https://www.youtube.com/@spark.n.stride
what is going on. People listen, spark and stride. Season two, a very important person to me, friend, colleague and just an overall good salt of the earth person. So that's what I want to say about you l up front, I appreciate you know just your energy. Yeah, you, it's always been. You know nothing but love, right? So so, um, you and I both served in the air force. We were, uh, you're still, in the air force and we shared this um subculture of the air force which is air force recruiting. Yeah, right, and we're gonna get into. I do want to talk about recruiting for a little bit, but I want to have the opportunity to catch up with you, of course, because I haven't seen you in roughly 10 years. I've been following everything, right, but I it's it's going on 10 years that I haven't physically seen you. But but what's going on, my brother?
Speaker 3:how you feeling, man, I'm I'm blessed, I'm happy to be here. This whole is this is beautiful, amazing, this is amazing. I'm blessed, I'm beyond happy to be here with you. Like you said, we haven't physically been in front of each other for 10 years, but we've definitely been following each other's journeys along throughout your career, starting this up everything, man. So I'm good, I'm good, thank you for having me, thank you.
Speaker 1:So listen, man. So thank you for being here and thank you for taking out time. I know you, you know, uh, you know you have to schedule this right, like yeah, and that's, that's a, that's a whole nother thing with, like podcasts and this kind of thing. Like it's not easy, man. And and also, you know, you start reaching out to your network and your folks, and folks tell you like hey, man, like we're scheduled, we're gonna do it, but things come up. You know things happen. So I'm extremely grateful that you took time to put into your calendar and like we're able to like pull it off, but, um, so I do want to catch up, right, uh, I want you to know a little bit of background.
Speaker 1:So, when I put this together, when I instinctively thought about spark and stride, mental health, wellness, resiliency, personal development, these pillars of conversation, you know, um, I wrote a list of the folks that I would want to speak to on this platform. Right, I'm going to show you the note that I have it. I have these notes in my closet, in my closet, you're, you're on on there, right? That for me, like I was, like man, like I want to, I want to talk to all about. You know, because and for folks listening or watching, like what the hell are they talking about? You're just gonna have to like, if you really want to know, you guys gotta like listen, because you know, um, I, I think that I know for a fact that you'll leave here with some, with some sense of gratitude in your own life is what I'm hoping you can take away from this. But, um, but listen without I don't want to get into too much of a, but let me tell you this, though so I put your name down, and last year was like a baby year for me.
Speaker 1:Try to figure out can I do this, can I pull this off? How do I do this? How do I market? And ultimately, the the technical part of it, like, how do you do it? How do you record? How do what kind of cameras do you need and lenses and lights, because there's a whole bunch of stuff that happens beyond the behind the scenes that a lot of people don't know. So, with that being said, I wanted to reach out to you because I, like, I genuinely care, yeah, and I want to, you know, and thankfully you're up for doing this. You know what I mean, but, um, I just want to like catch up and figure out what, how did you get this cancer, that cancer diagnosis?
Speaker 3:so it was super strange. So, like I said, I was diagnosed. For those that don't know, I was diagnosed september 25th 2019. Uh, I was taking my son. My son goes back and forth between boston and new york, so he came down to new york York for the summer and I was driving him back to school.
Speaker 3:I was like just normal fatigue. I think it was around a PT test time. So I was normally tired. I had lost weight, but I was working out, I was dieting, I was prepping my body to kind of remain in shape. So a lot of the symptoms that most people would probably see if they weren't as active they would. You know, they probably would overlook it. For me, it was just like it was normal. I was like everything's paying off. All the hard work that I'm doing is paying off. I'm losing weight. You know I'm tired because I'm working out so hard. But one of them that stood out was I had a huge lump that was here on the left side of my collarbone. It was like a grapefruit. It would come up and come down, but I also attributed it to working out.
Speaker 3:I thought working out I thought it was like a muscle spasm and you know you try to stay away from google. When you jump on google, man, and you see stuff, everything is the worst, like oh, you're dying next week and it's like so the doctors tell you to stay off of google.
Speaker 3:So bro, but a grapefruit is huge it was, yeah, but it would go up and it would go down. So I was like, maybe maybe I pulled it from squatting or dead lifting or something and maybe it was just a muscle spasm, but because I I would put the heating, I had like a heating contraption that I would hang over, I would ice it and it would basically inflame and it would go down. But as we figure as, as we would figure out later on, it ended up being it's a lymph node. So we have lymph nodes all through our bodies. But it was, the lymph node was enlarged.
Speaker 3:A symptom of this cancer that I didn't get, that I found out after is blood in the urine because it's a kidney cancer. So it's renal medullary carcinoma, also known as RMC, and typically that's how you know when your kidneys are damaged. That's kind of what happened, like people pass kidney stones and things like that. So when I'm looking up a lot of stuff, that was one of the symptoms I didn't have and that was one of the main symptoms. So my thought process is maybe like they caught it very early, but anyway. So what happened was getting all over the place. So my son was here for the summer, took him up first week of September to start school in Boston and then, while I was there, my ex-wife is like why are you so tired? And I'm like I didn't know, cause we usually I go there and I play basketball, my son, we're out, we're bowling, we're doing a bunch of different stuff and I would get there and I'm just, you know, really, really tired, really fatigued, and then I hit the road back.
Speaker 3:She's like all right, well, drive safe and the whole ride back. I had a really bad pain where my kidney is on my left side.
Speaker 3:It was really painful, excruciating pain, and, like my, where my kidney was. We'll get to that, that's. It's gone now. But so we get back. That night I couldn't sleep, toss and turn and if you've ever been in some type of pain to where you can't sleep through it, you'll know. So that next morning I think it was, it was like a monday or it might have been a sunday, because I think I went back on saturday when I took him and came back so he can get ready for school. So sunday night he was getting ready. That sunday I woke up and was like, nah, this isn't normal.
Speaker 3:So I took, took myself to the hospital, long island jewish hospital um, they ran a bunch of tests. Next thing I know I'm admitted in the hospital, I'm there for about 14 days. They're running all types of tests. Oh yeah, the first thing they did they did an x-ray. They usually do an x-ray and that kind of lit up and they were like all right, they're looking at stuff. And then the first thing they say is, well, it could be lymphoma, because it lit up. All my lymph nodes basically lit up like a christmas tree. So from there they're like all right, but they still don't know. So they're running tests, blood tests.
Speaker 3:I end up having a biopsy because this was I told them about this at that point. It wasn't like the grapefruit like it was. It had went down a little bit but they still felt it was inflamed compared to the right side. So they ended up doing a biopsy on that and then from there they knew it was some type of cancer. So we at that time we're going with it's lymphoma possibly. I'm looking up lymphoma. I'm like all right, lymphoma is like 96 cure, like cure rate. So it's like all right, they can treat it, it's good.
Speaker 3:But still every day is like well, the doctor's not here or the doctor has it, but they're still waiting on this, they're waiting on that during this time. You know you're being a shirt. I will commend my leadership team. Like they were absolutely amazing. My commander at the time, my sel, uh, the shirt.
Speaker 3:Like once they knew I was in the hospital, they were already, I guess, coming to new york and they ended up coming to visit me, wanted to make sure it was okay. But that was like a really, really scary time and just just thinking back, like I said, literally 14 days in the hospital, had friends, family, visiting me that's the cool thing with recruiting the, recruiting family. And then also I'm from New York City, so my family's there, they're checking on me, coming to hang out with me until visiting hours are over. But if you know anything about being in the hospital, the beds ain't comfortable, it's not your own bed, and then you also have the uncertainty of you know what's going on and kind of just that, that worry, that anxiety, especially when you know it's already bad. So it was just trying to figure out how bad it was.
Speaker 1:Uh, at the end of the 14 days they did everything they had to do to biopsy a bunch of labs doing blood work. Almost every day they were coming in and taking labs.
Speaker 3:So they do a biopsy of the. Yeah, they cut out this one because that was the swollen part, so they knew they could grab something of it. So they put me to sleep it's like a little scar here and they cut out a piece and they basically send that to what's called the tumor board, where they check to see where it is and they can kind of determine where it originated.
Speaker 3:And going from there, once they completed all the tests, the worst thing I did was a bone marrow biopsy. So you got to lay on your stomach and they basically go into, like your hip bone, and they got to take a piece because at this point they know it's some type of cancer. So now it's like how do we figure out where else it is in your body If it's spread from there? They did that. Then they released me. They let me go home after the 14 days hang on, hang on a second.
Speaker 1:So you go to the hospital. Now you're admitted, they're running all these tests. So while they're running all these tests, they're coming back and they're telling you hey, listen, like it's cancer, it's. We believe it's this kind of cancer. Yeah, oh man, like bro, you're saying it like very freely, but I'm thinking to myself, how do you process that? Like bro, you were just in Boston driving and now you're in the hospital and they're telling you that you have they believe you know lymphoma. Lymphoma was the first, was the first thing.
Speaker 3:First thing so my cancer, rmc, is extremely rare. It's an aggressive type of cancer, um, and I think where we're at now we're five years, almost five years, post my diagnosis. At that time there wasn't really much information on it. There were. There were a few other diagnoses, but I think this is what hurt a lot of people. They were misdiagnosed and they were probably treated incorrectly on certain things and I'll get into that a little bit later as we continue to talk about it. Because when people are diagnosed, so what RMC is? It's an extremely rare cancer. It's most commonly found in African-American males with the sickle cell trait or sickle cell. So I do have the sickle cell trait. When I joined the Air Force it wasn't a big deal. It was like, oh, you have the trait. And I grew up my whole life with the mindset of if you have the trait, you're good. As long as you don't have a child with someone that has sickle cell trait, then your child will automatically inherit full blown sickle cell.
Speaker 3:So, I've played sports all my life basketball, football, baseball super active, never had any issues in the air force, good pt scores, uh, maintain, you know, good health and fitness throughout all of this. So, uh, it was definitely a shock and it's just something that where back then I think the resources were really low and now, as we go, and obviously as I'm here now, definitely blessed and grateful, um, we've seen some, definitely some big changes with the treatment and how things are handled and timelines when things are handled. I know in most cases certain people get their kidney removed right away, but that's a whole nother thing too, because so, like we said, we thought it was lymphoma. I get discharged from the hospital. They call me back in because what happens is they have to have a tumor board where basically a bunch of oncologists they kind of review it and they can try to determine the type of cancer, the stage and possibly where it originated. So they called me in. So at this point I hadn't been given an official diagnosis. The assumption was that it was lymphoma.
Speaker 3:I know I did all these tests. So I'm thinking, okay, that's what it's going to be. So, doctor calls me, you get a call. They can't give you these news over the phone.
Speaker 3:They need to see you. Can you come in? I think it was like a Thursday at 1 o'clock. I'll be there. I still have the video on my Instagram, I think when I posted the announcement that I got the official diagnosis. Now, at this point, I'm officially diagnosed. They diagnosed me with lung cancer. I'm like I don't smoke, but I didn't know. Know this, I've learned so much about cancer throughout this process. It's like most people that get lung cancer aren't smokers, or the people who did do get lung cancer. They get it long after they've lived their life and it comes after, but a lot of it comes from secondhand smoke. So my thing is I'm not around anybody who smokes, I don't smoke. How is it lung cancer? So?
Speaker 3:at this point, long Island, jewish. Thank you for everything that they've done. Now I have some friends that have people that work in the city, at Sloan-Kettering at NYU Langone I get pulled down there. They're doing more tests because now that we know it's cancer, it's like, okay, I needed to do like an MRI, full PET scans, ct scans to see if it's anywhere else in my body. So I'm doing a full PET scan from head to toe for the whole body, because that's how they determine how they're going to do treatment.
Speaker 3:Are we? If it's in the brain, cause, obviously you have to. If it's in the brain, they have to kind of start treatment right away, right there, because that's a vital organ, definitely one of the. We can't do anything without that. So we go down there, we do that and shout out to Carmen Um, she was down there, she's good friends with a friend of mine, janiece, that's her mom. Um, she just moved mountains to get me in and schedule for appointments, like I was like literally the next day. She's like get down here, you're scheduled for this, you're getting that. She told him I was her brother, you know, and and who is she?
Speaker 1:how like, how is she?
Speaker 3:so she's. She's janiece's mom. Janiece is a good friend of me, mine from high school, like from way back in the day and once you. It got out because I made that post after I got the diagnosis from LIJ, long Island Jewish, and I put that people are hitting me up Like yo, what do you need? I got somebody that works in this hospital.
Speaker 3:That's why it's huge, like you mentioned at the start of this, a network knowing people. Because, especially honestly, when everything's going on thinking back about it now, everything, thinking back about it now, everything was a blur. I feel like I was a deer in the headlights. Once I got that diagnosis, I feel like everything went blank. You know how in those movies sometimes when everything's fast and you're kind of just walking through, that's how I feel, like the Matrix, that's exactly what it felt. Like the Matrix. I'm walking through slow and everything is just flying through me and I'm just like trying to process it, trying to figure out what am I going to do? Am I going to? And you know, you get people who, oh, don't, don't do chemo, you know modern medicine, do this, do that. And you're like, do, do you want to trust your life with that? Granted, like.
Speaker 3:At that time, like I said, my cancer was very under-researched and there wasn't a lot of information other than it was rare and extremely aggressive. So I got. So I got with a doctor at nyu. He gave me the official diagnosis you don't have lung cancer but you do have stage. So I did have.
Speaker 3:I had a form of lung cancer because my lung it was basically stage four. So stage four means it metastasized, it's spread. So I had cancer literally in my lymph nodes, my lungs, my kidney, my liver, my stomach and my abdomen area. It was spread everywhere because it's so aggressive. They couldn't even tell me like, yeah, we caught it early. I'm guessing we caught it early because of how I was able to respond to treatment.
Speaker 3:But I think if it would have went longer, because most people who get diagnosed unfortunately a lot of people that I became friends with they got diagnosed and then within a few months or less than a year, they had passed away. So you have that hanging over your head too as you're going through treatment and thinking everything else. So I went with Dr Ballard and then, from that point, my son's mother she works for a pretty known company that knew somebody who worked at Dana Farber, which is my cancer center, and they were like, yeah, he can come here and that was my thought process. So, mind you, this is September 2019. What happened towards the end of 2019, 2020? I was just about to ask you that, covid, yeah.
Speaker 1:I was just about to ask you that yeah.
Speaker 3:At that time my son was about 12, about 11, 12 years old Because, yeah, he just turned 16. So my thought process is, like I said, everything's still kind of I'm trying to make decisions about what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it. We got sloan katterin in new york. I had a good reputation where carmen worked at nyu. So I'm like, all right, I know if I need anything, they're going to help because for one she works for them and they're going to make sure that everything is good. But then I'm also like we hadn't quarantined yet, cause it was very early with COVID, but I was. Nobody could have foreseen what was going to happen. So my thing was if I'm going to be here and do treatment, how am I still going to travel? I don't know. I don't know. I didn't.
Speaker 3:At that time I didn't know much about chemo and what it entailed. I was very, very minimally knowledge on cancer as a whole. I knew what cancer was, I knew it wasn't good. I knew people, you know, struggle with a lot of stuff. So I was like, but I knew it wasn't going to be easy to travel, even without COVID, before it became a big deal. So my thing was like, you know, she opened up her home. She was like you can come out here and do treatment and she helped me get to and from appointments.
Speaker 3:And then, obviously, once I was there, they closed state lines, a lot of these states, those state lines, a lot of these states Massachusetts, new York it was like you couldn't come and go. Same thing with Jersey. It was like if you were in Jersey, you couldn't. You had to jump through hoops or be an essential worker in order to be able to go back and forth between state lines.
Speaker 3:So that was a good thing and I it's as crazy as it is as crazy as it is it feels really good that I was able to get that opportunity to spend more time with my son, cause, you know, we're we're, we're basically co-parent. So, like I said, he was with me for the summer, he's there, and then I would go up for holidays or he would come down for a spring break or weekend. So essentially, I go there and I'm spending every day with him. But I think you know, as a dad too, like with kids, where they're superheroes, you know what I'm saying and that's how it was with my grandmother. So my thing, I was very self-conscious, like having him see me this way. You know I'm saying very frail, very weak, very fatigued. Um it was, it was a tough time it was definitely a tough time.
Speaker 3:I mean a lot of this I'll definitely have in my retirement speech, but just having them there for me to support me and everybody you know in my life to be there and support me, was just amazing. I mean, we don't make it through a fraction of the stuff that we go through by ourselves. We might like to think we do, but having a support system and a foundation, you know how important that is. What else? So, yeah, I got out there, started treatment literally a month later in october with, uh, dr bradley mcgregor. Uh, he's funny enough, he's in. He was in the air force as well. He served 14 years active and I think he's still finishing up about his sixth year in the reserves. Um, but it wasn't through the military. He just works for dana farber and then he's, he's in the reserves. He's still like a colonel. I believe he's a colonel. I don't want to say don't let me get his rank wrong or anything like that.
Speaker 3:But, uh, I think we bonded on that, Um, and I got the official diagnosis, rmc, the prognosis, with this at that time. I think it may have changed now, but at that time it was 12 to 18 months, so I'm sitting here.
Speaker 1:That was that was I wanted to ask you, like I was going to ask you, if at any point were they kind of like telling you you know, this is bro, like come on man.
Speaker 3:I meet Dr McGregor, I'm curled up. I'm in so much pain they had to get me on pain meds. I was curled up on the examination table because I was in so much pain and when they're telling you, like you look it up and then he's like they're telling you that, like you look it up and then he's like they're like, yeah, the prognosis, because you know you, there's questions you ask and there's questions you kind of sometimes you don't want to ask, the questions that you don't really want the answers to excuse me. So like you ask it and they're like, yeah, for this right now, based off the numbers, it's 12 to 18 months. So we try to, you know, make you as comfortable as possible and treat you with what we can and manage the pain and hopefully allow you to do whatever. So that's why I say I'm blessed too, because to all the cancer patients that are out there, people that are dealing with it, and all the caregivers, I just tip my hat to all of them, because it's not easy. It's a physical, emotional, mental roller coaster. You have good days, you have bad days. Mental roller coaster. You have good days, you have bad days.
Speaker 3:But the fact that I was able to still do the things that I wanted to do. I think it benefited me too because, like I said, covid happened, so we ended up teleworking, so it didn't negatively impact my career. I was still able to do my job and I'm glad I was, because I felt like keeping that purpose is what kept me going, like having something to get up and having something to do, like tasks to do. I ended up doubling up on all my classes so I could finish my bachelor's degree. I was like because if you have things and you have a list of goals that you want to do I mean it may be cliche do it.
Speaker 3:What are you waiting for? Like there is tomorrow, is there, but why put off tomorrow what you can do today? And that's what this diagnosis and this treatment and this experience that I've gone through has taught me. So often in my life I was like, yeah, I'll do it tomorrow. I was taking classes just to get a bullet on my EPR. You know what I'm saying. And now I'm like this was a goal of mine, I'm going to achieve this and, like I said, that gave me purpose and it gave me a reason to get up. Otherwise I just would have stayed in bed. People were giving me books or book recommendations, audio books, podcasts to listen to, but having something to get up and still be able to help people pursue their goals and recruiting.
Speaker 3:At that time I was an HP recruiter, so I was able to still be involved. And then, even throughout that, I started to speak at annuals as a keynote speaker, which I didn't think would be possible. I helped it. I think it helped me to find my purpose, like, along with just everything, no-transcript, I'm going to push through and that's how I looked at it. Like people were like, even when everybody's like yo, you're a warrior and I'm just like, I just don't want to die.
Speaker 3:Like I just want to see my son. I want to meet my grandkids. Just reminded me that, all right.
Speaker 1:How old were you when you got the diagnosis?
Speaker 3:I was 35, 35. And I had just made tech sergeant, literally two months later, two months before that because I think it had sold on. I think what August 1st? I think that's when the increments came through.
Speaker 1:So you go from this high where you're so excited and so happy because, you know I think anybody who's been in the air force knows how hard it is to make e6 yeah, tech sergeant, so hard, it's something.
Speaker 3:It wasn't something that's easy for me. It didn't take me, uh, it wasn't. I didn't get to do it quick, so when it happened it was like a weight off my chest and then literally two months later, I'm getting diagnosed with cancer. So what I try to tell other people that I speak to is enjoy your job and work hard, but don't put so much of an emphasis where it takes away from the things that are really important. And I'm not saying that the Air Force or people's career or military career is not important, but it's never going to be as important as your family it's never going to be as important as your loved ones and your friends.
Speaker 3:We often lose sight of that and we get tunnel vision and we lock in and we're like all right, this is the goal and I got to do it. And that's where that time management and that work-life balance has to come in. And we I had to do a lot better job at that, because I had kind of like blocked out everything and I was so focused and so bent on pursuing or achieving these goals. And yeah, you know, you, you take away time and you I go back and think about time that I could have spent with my son more. You know time that I could have spent with friends and family and everything else.
Speaker 1:Bro, that's heavy yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't mean to start it like that, Nah nah, we'll see where the conversation goes, man, but like to be 35 years old and to get that, yeah, um, magnitude of information, like, uh, that's heavy. Yeah. Like, what do what do you? You know, I don't know how I would respond to that. You know what I mean. Like so, you know, and the thing, the thing with doctors and stuff like that is like like they don't even know either, bro. Like they're, they're giving you, they're using data to come up with an. You know, it's a they and you know it's uh, there, a lot of times, they don't even know, yeah, so that's why the scope is so is what it is right? Because they're telling you what, like 12 to 18 months because there were so few cases.
Speaker 3:There were so few cases of it. And then one of the people that I looked up, um, herman connor. Like he, he's a survivor of this cancer. So obviously, you see that you see hope, and that's the thing too, I think, when people get a cancer diagnosis. That's so instrumental is that you don't lose hope, you don't lose faith in whatever higher power being that you believe in. I think you need to lean on it even more than um, when you, when you get this new. So seeing that was definitely very hopeful. I've communicated with him very minimally, but I spoke to his sister, who's a caregiver, and she's an advocate for this cancer as well. The number one center for this cancer is in MD Anderson in Houston, texas. So I was looking into that and then.
Speaker 3:That's another reason why I respect Dr McGregor so much, because a lot of times doctors are very egotistic, you know where. They don't want to reach out to another doctor because it's like, nah, I, I can do this, I don't need to reach out. Dr mcgregor had no. He already knew that they were the lead oncologists for this cancer. He had no problem collaborating with them, and oftentimes a lot of people travel to houston, but another time that's covid, that's during covid, who's getting on planes and going from different state to state in a weak, fragile state. So the fact that he was willing to reach out to Dr Nazir Tanir he's the very lead oncologist who focused on this and Dr Pavlos he reaches out to them, he goes to conferences and he shares a lot of my stuff and I've turned myself into an advocate, an ambassador for Dana-Farber. I tell them anything they need. I was featured in their national ad campaign about two years ago.
Speaker 1:I saw it. I saw it. I saw the commercials on TV. That's dope. I think I still have it on my DVR.
Speaker 3:I'll show you. That is so dope. I told my wife.
Speaker 1:I was like you know, it's my homeboy.
Speaker 3:She's like you don't know that guy I was like I know him no and I tell anybody it doesn't have to be cancer. Anything you're going through, do not give up, do not quit. I think it's probably not a proven fact, but I feel like this is so true. Your body physically will follow what your mind incorporates. No-transcript, you have to speak healing and in the beginning, when I was diagnosed, a big word for me was if if you know, if I beat this, if I beat this, I'm going to do this, if I beat this.
Speaker 3:And then I slowly had to teach myself that when and the reason why I was so opposed to using when cause I felt like I was being cocky and I feel like when you're cocky, life has a way of humbling you. Oh yes, so I was so nervous about that, but I was like you know what it's not cocky?
Speaker 3:it's your man, it's manifestation yeah you have to speak healing into yourself, and I mean honestly. One of my friends, they told me they were like everything you put into your body, whether it's visually, you hear it, you eat, you drink, you have this it has to tell it that, as you're, as you're consuming it, it's healing. This water is healing me. This music that I'm listening to is healing me.
Speaker 3:It's making me happy, it's putting me in a good space and, like you said, surrounding myself with good energy and positive people, and I get Certain people look at certain situations where you're overly positive. It can be a little weird, but man, fuck that bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bro, yeah, no, no, Listen. So, as you're explaining this or describing this, I'm thinking about, like I'm still, I'm listening, but I'm still thinking to myself of the transition of now you're living with your ex-wife during the pandemic. Because, dude, just the group dynamics right there, like that's got to be something, oh, it's crazy, it's got to be wild.
Speaker 3:And I have a girlfriend, so, and that's another thing that caused a little static, because it's like you're gonna granted she understood, and I mean I feel bad thinking about it now, because she's like you didn't even discuss it, which I didn't, because I was thinking about, like I said, tunnel vision, yeah, my son, yeah, cancer diagnosis, but after now we're in a better space where we were able to communicate, but it's like yo, when you made that decision, you didn't even talk to me about it and I mean I, I was able to apologize after and then she understand.
Speaker 3:I think she understood it. That's why it wasn't a big blow up. But yeah, that whole dynamic, ex-wife, son, girlfriend here in new york, and it's just pandemic, pandemic. We're all worried, we don't know what the hell's going on.
Speaker 1:What's going on?
Speaker 3:yes, son well then, you see people. You see these trucks with refrigerated bodies. People are. And now, when you get a diagnosis too, it's like you're immunocompromised. You can't Somebody's sneezing, coughing.
Speaker 1:I didn't even think of that part. Yeah, I didn't even think of that part. You're absolutely right.
Speaker 3:So you're just living in fear, and that's exactly what it was. It's like somebody sneezing, coughing, I'm sitting here like the common cold could be fatal, you know. So it was a lot. One thing I'll say is my support system was was amazing. Um, I don't think I've tried my best. I think, if I haven't, this is my time now. Everybody that was supporting me whether it be social media, in person, people sent meals, people supported me in any kind of way that they could. I can't thank y'all enough.
Speaker 3:The words, thank you don't don't do it justice even you I mean, like you said, we, we, we haven't physically seen each other, but we've been in communication. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:Seen pictures, seen. You know just status updates and everything else, and you've seen what I was going through. You reached out. You know everybody reached out. We just spoke to our friend Derek. You know what I'm saying. So many people were there to just support me and hold. I mean, like I said, I apologize because the tunnel vision probably didn't allow me to properly thank them, but even now I can tell you the words thank you will never do it any justice because there's no way I can repay you, there's no way I can thank you. Just know it is so much love and appreciation and gratitude that I have for the people that have been there for me.
Speaker 1:Man, man bro. Damn. I need to take a break, dude.
Speaker 3:Even thinking about it now, like it's gonna be five years this september, and I'll tell you, bro, like I met. I met some amazing people. Uh, chad alexander was a dude who was diagnosed like a month before me, lived in the uk, um, his wife anita, uh, his son rome, his daughter milan, me and him would talk all the time, bro, all the time, because, you know, I think it's different when you're going through a diagnosis, something, something like that.
Speaker 3:You have people that you can kind of relate to you know I'm saying people that you can share, like, oh, you got this symptom, I got this symptom. You know, I'm saying, and I think that was something that I learned, because he had the blood in the urine. That's what prompted him to go to the hospital. And you also learn about the different health care throughout the world, because he's out in the UK and it's very different than here, even the way he structured his appointments. Like my cancer center, I do everything in one day. Morning starts.
Speaker 3:I tell him get me in early. You know we're military, especially when I see how crowded the cancer center gets. Get me that the cancer center gets. Get me in there at six o'clock. I'll get there six o'clock. Do my labs. Then, usually about an hour and a half, you see your oncologist and then from there he has to review your labs to make sure that you're okay to go through treatment. His was so broken up and so different that it was like he would have to go in the day before his appointment.
Speaker 1:Do labs, go home come back back the next day, then they would do treatment.
Speaker 3:So, um, but shout out, you guys still in contact. Unfortunately, uh, like, I think, within that first year, chad passed away. So that was that was a really tough time. Yeah, rest in peace to chad.
Speaker 3:For sure, uh, he was a dj music lover, just an amazing dude, an amazing dad amazing husband, um, did so many amazing things in his community because even just the love and support that I still see people going out to his memorials is beautiful and we used to just talk like almost every day and I mean I have countless stories of people so I don't want to start naming too many people or not naming people to offend or hurt anybody, but that was my first cancer friend that I made, you know, going through it because he was diagnosed a month before me and just think what that does for your mental too. You know you're going through something similar. You end up with a lot of survivor's remorse, like it's like, well, you know, you look and see this amazing person and I start to try to compare myself and look and like I'm nowhere near as a great guy like he is. Why am I still here? Why is he not? So that, like I said, that all has played into my life and how I live it. I try to just be a good person, which I've always been. I feel I've been a good person, I've been a good friend. I try to be there for the people that that I love and that I care about and support everything that they do. But it's like now I feel like I'm more indebted, like because there's people that I'm here because of other people. I don't doubt for a second that they're watching out for me. You know he's up there looking down on me and it's like he's probably guiding me. You know it might sound crazy, but I don't take it for granted. You know I was able to meet his wife and kids in person. We still communicate. They had visited New York City. I was able to take them around, took them to the Biggie Mural, the Brooklyn Bridge and, like I said, there's a couple other stories of people that I met. But rest in peace to all of them and anybody battling cancer or any other terminal illness. Just keep going, keep going.
Speaker 3:Create that checklist of things that you have in your life that you want to accomplish, things that you want to see, things that you want to try, and even if you're not dealing with any of this, do what do you wait like? What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for, like? And hopefully I think this has also changed me too. You know, in the military we're around people who constantly complain not everybody, but the complainers, the ones who and I get it I'm not saying everything is always peaches and cream, but I feel like if there's a solution or if there's a problem or things that you want to get through, complaining is not going to help you get there. You got to create action one foot in front of the other. We kind of hit on it earlier. It's like once my perspective on life changed. It kind of changed a lot and, like I said, once I started getting more gratitude. I feel like things started happening for me and things started moving in a positive direction.
Speaker 3:This whole treatment was a roller coaster, but I told you earlier, it's like if I'm going to, if it's if it's storming outside, I'm not going to cry in a storm, I'm going to go dance in the rain. You know, I'd rather be happy. I feel better, my mental health, everything that people want to be, people that want to be around me. I think I want to be a good, energetic person and same thing relationships I have with my nurses, my doctors. I truly and you witness it, you witness people who are going through this and I'm not judging anybody. It's very difficult because you can be mean, you can come off, you could be snippy. I always make my business to. When I'm around my nurses. I'm grateful because the job that they're doing to the frontline workers, medical workers, especially oncology nurses, and PAs and doctors, it's amazing man or anything remotely close to what you experienced.
Speaker 1:But I will share that. When my daughter was born, my daughter was premature two months. So my daughter was born two pounds, 15 ounces, like you know, almost three pounds, like smaller than a football. And she was born in Manhattan. She was born at Lenox Hill.
Speaker 1:Shout out to Lenox Hill and the whole team over there with, like the way, dude, like the way that they had their whole thing structured, bro, the NICU nurses, dude, like you don't understand, like angels, bro, like angels, dude, angels, bro. Yeah, like my daughter was born, they, we literally went to the opposite side of the floor to the NICU. They were waiting. It was like a team of like like four people waiting. And I'm, you know, I'm there, you know what I mean, and I'm just like watching them sew a line into her belly button. Wow, she's sewing a line, dude, to to be able to, like you know, get, take blood, whatever, just like man, just incredible, right, that there's people who and, and, and you got a thing too, right? So, like, my daughter was in the NICU for for a month, for 30 days. So we're, you know, we're seeing these people, we're interacting with them for 30 days, me and my wife would take turns. I would go in the daytime or my wife would go in the daytime and then I would go at night. So someone was always with Brooke. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:But with that being said, you start to learn all the folks that work in this unit. Now you're on a first name basis with them and they know who's coming and and you know that kind of thing. But then you got to think you leave yep, you leave, like you know you. And now there's like a whole nother, yeah, like there's a whole nother family, yeah, who's?
Speaker 1:And then the thing is is like it's not like everyone's in that unit, because they're all they're, they're, they're, they're not all premature. You know that, like some dude, like they were, they were babies that were there full, full term but just had some kind of an issue, some kind of issue with their lungs or so. So there's there's no right or wrong. But you're kind of like you ever read the book, uh, the tale of two cities, yeah, okay. So like the very, the very opening, right, like it was the worst of times, it was the best of times, right. So I always think about that. We're like two people could be in the same space, but having two different experiences. New York city is the best, is the best example of that. Absolutely right, yeah, like you could be on a subway car, and on that subway car you got someone homeless and you got someone a millionaire probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right exactly it's so wild that it but and they're in the same space, so going, going back with like to the whole NICU thing. You know, I'm in the NICU because my daughter is, uh, she was born two months early and there's a few things that need to happen before they can like let us leave with her. And ultimately, she needed to be able to uh figure out how to breathe and uh, not breathe, yeah, breathe and like drink milk, right, gotcha, at the same time. Right, because in the beginning she had a feeding tube, okay. So they're like, yeah, she needs to become a little bit, she needs to get a little heavier, she needs to be able to do this. And then you know like she's good to to go home. But then, in the same exact NICU, you have someone else who's next to you, something completely different that they're experiencing. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Have you ever seen? This Is Us.
Speaker 1:This Is Us. No, I've never seen that my wife has.
Speaker 3:So if you ever get a chance, that's kind of similar to how it started out. Basically it's a husband and wife. They're pregnant with triplets, they end up losing one of the triplets and then another child is abandoned at a firehouse. So they look at it like I said. It's like you know, if life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. So they adopted this other child. I don't want to ruin it for anybody who hasn't seen it, but if you ever get a chance, I'm pretty sure if your wife's watched it she'll watch it it again.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:It's an amazing show but, like you said, a Tale of Two Cities where people are going through in the same space, but two completely different experiences, two very different perspectives in how we look at it. But, just like you said, on the subway, that person who's a millionaire, or they have a really, let's say they work on Wall Street, Maybe not a millionaire, but they're very well off on wall street, maybe not a millionaire, but they're very well off, they're wealthy, they're not homeless.
Speaker 3:Exactly, they're not homeless compared to someone who's homeless. Because I also look at it like that too, because it's all perspective that homeless person could very well be happy just at a hard time in their life, and then also that person who's well off could be miserable. Because we all know, yes, money is great, we love it. It gives us the freedom to do the things that we'd like to do, but it's not the end-all be all so it. I'm just saying that money doesn't, uh, negate you from having problems or having issues, you know, or going through hard times. Um, I I look at it like this too. Look, steve jobs had cancer.
Speaker 3:All the money in the world you know I'm saying so I'm pretty sure people would trade all of that for their health in an instant, because you can't take it with you, denzel's, I think. Not even Denzel, you can scratch that, but just anybody you can't. There's no hearse behind you when you go. You know once, your time is your time. So that doesn't mean go be reckless with your money, be smart with your money, but just know that you're here to enjoy, and the most valuable thing that we could ever get on this world, in this world, is time, and don't take it for granted, you know wow so dude.
Speaker 1:So I don't want, I don't mean, to keep bringing up stuff. I just, I just want to like, like this is why we hear, this is why we hear so so while you're, while you're in Boston in the pandemic living with your ex-wife, your son's probably staying at home. He's doing like remote work.
Speaker 3:Yeah, remote working.
Speaker 1:You're ill, are you?
Speaker 3:losing weight. Oh yeah, dude, I got down, so I'm about 228 right now at my lowest. Through this and even at that time, before I got diagnosed, I want to say my weight was probably around between 225 218, which was where I like to be at anyway straight papi chulo right there.
Speaker 1:Straight, straight straight psi for you, for y'all. If y'all don't know what I'm talking about, what do you?
Speaker 3:say to. To what I was like 220, I'm 228 now. At that time I was between 225.
Speaker 1:Of pure pressure.
Speaker 3:So at that time I think I had got down to like 170.
Speaker 1:Damn bro Like yo bro, my clothes were huge, my clothes were huge.
Speaker 3:I mean, I had to get new clothes, everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got real skinny yeah man, wow, face got sunk in. Yeah, you figure got sunk in.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you figure, as you start treatment, um, my eyebrows were gone, facial hair going, everything going. You know so, and that's the mental aspect of it, and I think other cancer patients will tell you that's still a very, it's a very difficult time because it's you figure, we associate so much of our identities to our hair women, men, our beard, our facial hair, like we know how look at dudes in the military when we do mustache march.
Speaker 3:Their wife might hate it or love it Once people retire and they're able to get out and grow the beards, because you're able to get that identity back, because you're able to kind of groom yourself to you, to your style.
Speaker 3:To what you want to do, so at this point, when you take that away from you, you just realize that you're losing a bit of control that you have because you know, throughout day-to-day life we have very little control over everything else and outside noise. But the way we dress, the way we groom ourselves, um, yeah, it was tough and, like I said, still trying to juggle a relationship back in new york. And then also my ex-wife. She has other kids. So there's cameron. He's, he's older than junior. Um, he was five years old when we were married and then we had Junior and after we broke up she had another child, soraya. They're like my kids, I love them. I love them like my own. So they're all there and these are kids that I spend time with. And then the same thing with my girlfriend's kids. She has two kids as well. She has two boys, jordan and Cardi.
Speaker 3:I think it's just a man thing, though, like we, not saying that I want to walk around and be egotistical, but to have people that at one point I'm pretty sure they probably still do, I don't want to, you know, boost myself, but that look up to you. And when you feel so vulnerable, so weak, it was, it was, it was at the time. Looking back at it, I was embarrassed, and you know, and it was at the time looking back at it, I was embarrassed and I was a little, like I said, vulnerable, but now, looking back at it, I'm a lot better.
Speaker 3:But at that time it was a major adjustment and you kind of isolate yourself. I would stay in bed all day.
Speaker 3:And it took a lot when my son would come out with me, we would go in the backyard. We ended up getting a hammock there. I grew a greater appreciation for nature. It's the things that we often take for granted. Making it home from a trip or wherever, from work is such an underrated blessing that we don't often look at Coming home and making it. Even making it here from the trek from New York, that's a blessing. Making it to your destination is a major, major blessing that we often take for granted. You think it's just going to happen, you think it's just supposed to happen, and that often isn't it. So like I grew that appreciation literally laying in the backyard when the weather was nice, just laying in the hammock, just watching the clouds just kind of float across the sky, sitting there having conversations with my son At that time.
Speaker 3:He's a lot younger. Now he's older. So we have some really good conversations now that he's older. The questions that he asks you know he's growing into his manhood at 16. So the things that I didn't get to you know at his age. But at that time, at 11, you know he's exploring. He's, you know, liking girls or you know, juggling his social life with his friends.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to say it was meant to happen, but I feel like sometimes these things are supposed to happen because they put you in places where you're supposed to be, when you need to be there.
Speaker 1:I think it's also about your perspective too, man. You know what I mean, because you could easily go down this tunnel of desperation and woe me and bitterness and anger, and maybe I don't know if you experienced any of that.
Speaker 3:I wanted you to finish the thought, but I went through all of that. I went through all of that. I was just gonna. I didn't want to. I wanted you to finish the thought, Okay, but I went through all of that. I went through all of that and I'm pretty sure there were people who were around me that probably hated being around me at times, and I'm not proud of that. But I definitely went through everything you just listed. I went through each and every one of it. You know it's a wave, it's a rollercoaster. It's a roller coaster. I'd have my hopeful, positive moments and then I had my ones where it was like yo, this is over, I don't want to do this, no more. If this is what fighting is, I'm not no warrior, I don't want this. But, like I said, it came in waves. I never really stayed down too long. That's something that I'm proud of, but I won't sit here in front like I'm a superhuman person and I made it all look so easy because I it wasn't it wasn't man.
Speaker 3:Every day I want to say every day was a struggle, but every day I'd wake up. It's like you know, you take that deep breath and it's like, okay, I got another one. And it's just like when you I think marathon runners or you're taking a long trek, it's just one foot in front of the other you know.
Speaker 1:You're a living testament of that, though, bro, you know what I mean. Like nobody could like dispute that Like you're. You know your testimony is real. You know what I mean. Like none of you know. None of this is made up Nah, not at all.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. So, man bro.
Speaker 1:I mean, you can't have a testimony without a test, right, right, 100 exactly. You. So. So listen. So folks that are like listening and watching, they maybe don't not everyone knows how the intricacies of being in the military, on active duty right, because there's different statuses, right. So you're, you're a full time, you're full-time military, you're a recruiter, you're a full-time military, you're a recruiter, you're a health professions recruiter, hp, which is a second-tier position within recruiting. So you come into recruiting as an enlisted sessions recruiter, which is high school, some college levels type stuff, and if you're good and they want to keep you around, you move up to a second level. And the health professions is is one of those second levels. Yep, but with that being, I know, I know, I know I'm speaking kind of like so I'm just trying to like set it up.
Speaker 3:Paint the picture. I got the picture.
Speaker 1:So what it's important to understand is that, unlike, maybe, a corporate job or like a, it's different in the military. There's different regulations, like you can't just stay home because you're sick, now your thing is, your situation different, but it doesn't change the fact that there still needs to be understanding and support from the your superiors, right? Yeah, what was that?
Speaker 3:like man. It was amazing and shout out to now colonel at the time she was lieutenant colonel kimberly bar. Uh, now it's colonel kimberly bar. She's probably one of my best commanders I've ever had.
Speaker 3:Uh, first sergeant shout to you as a first sergeant, I think you know how important sure that position is, uh, zach brown he's now retired um having their support and then, also being that we covered new york with the 318th recruiting squadron. It basically covers the northeast. So the fact that I was doing treatment in boston, one of our flights f flight is out there in boston. They're in burlington mass at the time. I think you know him as well. Uh, now chief maldonado um, he was the flight chief in that office maldonado?
Speaker 1:what's his first name?
Speaker 3:I believe it's uh, garvisi. I don't want to hack it, it's. I think it's garvisio I might, I might I don't want to chop it up, I just call him.
Speaker 1:Everybody calls him maldy, you know how we go, you know with the nicknames.
Speaker 3:But he was the flight chief at the time. Um, anything I needed, I needed a ride or whatever. Even now when I go out to boston they're like, if you need to borrow gov, get to your appointments, you're good to go. Um, but that support was so huge and oddly enough, that's a good thing that came from covet because, like you said, we got to go to work. We got things we got to do, but with COVID most places went to teleworking, so I was able to still do my job. I asked my commander cause I wanted to keep my mind sharp.
Speaker 3:So and at this time I'm at that, at that point I was about 36 credits away from my bachelor's degree. No time in my career have I ever maxed out my tuition assistance. So for those who don't know, we get $4,500 a year, every fiscal year, for tuition assistance. You figure most college classes are about $250 per credit hour, so it's about $750 for a class. I think I may have used a portion of it. I've taken one class probably every year throughout my career up to this point because I came in with an associate's degree. So at this point I'm asking the commander. She's recommending me books, she's telling me not to focus on work. But I'm asking her, I'm begging her ma'am, I want to still do my job. I still want to do it.
Speaker 3:At that time I was a nurse corps recruiter, so I'm trying to find out ways to get them into the hospital to recruit. Obviously, we couldn't get in, but I'm as I'm doing chemotherapy, wow, you know. So it was just crazy. I think at that point I was like the booster club vice president. I was a part of the AFRS 5-6 that had just stood up. That year I was the media manager, so I managed the social media, created the Twitter account, the Facebook, the Instagram, all this stuff I attribute to keeping me busy and keeping me occupied. And I don't even want to say busy, I hate, cause there's such a difference between busy and productive.
Speaker 3:It kept me productive because you can be busy and do nothing like the hamster in the hamster wheel.
Speaker 3:You're running but you're not going anywhere. So that's what I attribute busy to. So I was able to be productive. And then I asked the commander cause you know how TA goes, you got to get approval. It they got if you can manage work and whatever else. She was like no, you're good because only if you're on like a uif, which is a unfavorable information or a file or whatever else. She was like no, if you want to go to school by all means, if you feel you can manage it. So I was like all right, at this time I'm taking two, three classes a semester because I'm like you know what? I 12 to 18 months, I at least want to have my degree. Because I told my son you got got to go to school, so I can't tell him to go to school if I don't even have my degree. So that kind of motivated me to do that. But they supported me. Whatever I needed to do. I had a DO.
Speaker 3:At the time she came out to chemo with me and at that time my chemo was long. I had like a five to six hour chemotherapy infusion. Now they're a lot shorter. I have the two chemos that I'm on now. It's 15 minutes for one and 30 minutes for another one At that time I was taking five hours, six hours.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a carboplatin and a carbotaxel. I was on those two and they had to give me Benadryl. They call it a Benadryl nap. They would give me Benadryl. It would knock passed out and then I'd wake up towards the end and have like an hour and a half, two hours left.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, yeah it was lieutenant colonel. I think she got promoted as well too, but at that time it was a major Hutchison and now she's lieutenant colonel. Um, she came out, like I said, it was always somebody in that leadership team that was there to support me and they asked me like you know, because sometimes you get leadership and it can be fraudulent you know they're coming out just to check a box because they don't want their supervisor or their boss or a group chief or a group commander asking about you and they're not able to answer it. So they're just checking the box to say, oh yeah, and some people were like that, but the leaders that I had man phenomenal and it inspires me to try to be there and that's what kind of what taught me to be a leader. I inspires me to try to be there and that's what kind of what taught me to be a leader I've seen.
Speaker 3:I've had great mentors throughout my career. I've been in 17 years. Um, but just the way they handled my situation and I didn't want any favoritism, I didn't want to be under a microscope, I didn't want to be under a spotlight. That's why I was like anything I can do when people asked if I would speak at their annuals and because, like you said, resiliency is a big, big piece for the military and for the veteran community. Um, I think, just what we do on a day-to-day basis deployments, tdy's, families, holding a family in a household together as you move every three to four years, your kids, they change schools, they have to make friends, the sacrifices they make, the sacrifices we make as as military members. When you think about it and you really sit down, and when people are looking at it like how do you do this, I'm like it's normal for us. I think we operate in that chaos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, but listen, you're being extremely humble. You're being extremely humble man, but so here's the thing.
Speaker 3:So, as a first, sergeant, right, like I was a first sergeant. For shout to the first sergeants, man, like I said, especially the ones that do it for the right reasons. Man, I got so much love and respect for you y'all. For those that don't know, first sergeants are on call 24 7. You have a phone, anything that happens in the unit, red cross messages. And I have another story for first sergeants from when I was deployed and my grandmother. But shout to y'all, man, y'all are really selfless individuals. You give up so much of your personal time and y'all are, literally, even though we're all military members, we're on call. But y'all are really on call 24 7, 365, 366 on a leap year like that time comes away from your family, that phone rings y'all are.
Speaker 3:usually if I don't phone, rings y'all are. Usually if y'all don't answer right away, y'all are calling right back. Y'all are just there for so many people. The things that y'all experience and that y'all go through Shout to y'all. I didn't want to go, my bad, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:It's a really interesting position to hold within an organization and it doesn't really equate to the civilian side of the house, right? So the best way for me to describe the job because I want to describe it first before I answer your question. So my family asked me like, what do you do? What's a first sergeant? I was like, listen, consigliere, that is the job. Like, you have a pulse on what is happening over here. You're a buffer for the head honcho, right? You're a buffer for the commander and you, you know, you advise, you're a trusted advisor, but ultimately you're dealing with a wide range of human resource issues like you wouldn't even think of. You know what I mean. But to answer your question, why I want to become a first sergeant number one, I just have a genuine thing for people, right, obviously I have a, you know, a podcast where I'm interested in talking to folks. I like to listen to folks. I think it's important to never judge anyone at their lowest. Yeah, right, so these were things that I wanted to bring into that position, but ultimately I just have an interesting like I care for folks. You know what I mean. So I'm going to go back a little bit.
Speaker 1:So I'm stationed at MacDill Air Force Base. This is 2006. That's Tampa, right, mm-hmm, I'm in Tampa six. It's tampa, right, I'm in tampa. So I'm married at the time and it's my uh, like my childhood girlfriend. We're married. So ultimately, it's, uh, it's, I'm leaving to korea on a monday, where we're we've moved out of our, our apartment, we're living on base, we're in TLF. You know stuff, half of the stuff is in storage, half of the stuff is in the car, you know it's. You know, like you said, right, we're moving around and listen the details of what exactly happened, like, I'm not going to get into all that. Ultimately there was a domestic dispute in TLF. Wow.
Speaker 1:So I end up. I just I leave because I want to, like number one, remove myself from what was going on and I didn't need no smoke with security forces or or any of that jazz, right? So, long story short, I leave base, I stay at a buddy's house. I come back in the morning. When I come back in the morning, immediately, like, I'm like, I'm recognized at the gate, I'm told to pull over. Another police car comes and I already know that. I kind of have an idea of what's going to happen.
Speaker 1:So we end up going to the police station on the base and I'm being like I'm sitting in a room and they're like, hey, like uh, you have to wait here until your first sergeant comes. I'm like, okay, so impatient, you know, just about an hour goes by, this first sergeant comes in and I don't remember her name. This is, like you know, 06. Very first thing, the first sergeant tells me. He walks in and says how can I help you? What can I do to help you? First thing, you know, it was like you know, obviously she greeted me, but that was the first thing. What can I do to help you? Now? You got to understand, dude, like I'm already signed out from base, like I'm, I'm, I'm signed out already. I'm signed out.
Speaker 1:I moved out of my apartment, stuff is in storage, my flight is Monday and all I could think of I'm like man, I really need to be on that plane Monday. I need to be on that plane Because you know as well as I know that whole have could have just stopped right there. Like you're not getting on that plane until we figured this out. You know it's, you know. But I also think, knowing what I know now, cause then I was a lot younger but what I'm known now as a, you know, experience tenure, whatever, whatever you want to call it is like, like, if I put myself in her shoes, the best thing for me to do is to get this guy on this plane, because if I don't, there's a whole slew of things that are going to need to happen that maybe you know she didn't want to get into. So, ultimately, everything worked, worked out. I got on the flight, I head out to korea, do my time in korea.
Speaker 1:Things don't work out with me and my wife. We separate, we divorce, but current. You know, like when I was doing the job as first sergeant, that was the first thing I would. I would say to folks, like how can I help you? Yeah, like, how can I help you? And just, you know, because, ultimately, man, like, if, if you're in a position of of of authority at that level, that way where you have, you have the ear of the commander, you know, and a lot of us in the military we don't get to have a personal relationship with the commander. You have a relationship with the commander, right, yep, a personal relationship. That that's kind of far and few in between, you know, like to the point where you know they're calling you because they're having issues with their wife or they need someone to vent to. You know, like who does the commander go to vent to? Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. So it was, um, that's why I ended up wanting to do the job. Ultimately was cause I wanted to, you know, share my experiences. But also, you know, like, like, be like a, a, be like a beacon of like, positivity and resiliency. For this, you know, next generation of service member. You know what I mean. That was my thing, man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the people who are going to replace you, and like you said who does the commander get to talk to?
Speaker 3:But also, who do you guys get to talk to as well? You, I think, because I've seen behind the curtain and alone from domestic situations or anything else. You guys deal with people whose family members pass away, like you are the first people who are there and that's why I say I always have a ton of love and respect for the, for all the first sergeants, man like, because who do you guys get to talk to too? Like you guys sometimes have that stuff. I know you the shirts typically have a network within the shirts because you need that, you need your, you know your, your wingman, you know your brothers and sisters that you can lean on, because a lot of that stuff is heavy.
Speaker 3:You guys deal with a lot of heavy stuff. You guys are the first responders, often to major situations and and, like I said, I know the stuff that I've been through in the Air Force. I've always had an amazing shirt that's been there, like you said, how can they help me? And they've been there to help me from start to finish. So that's why I say, man like, big ups to y'all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, I'm so glad that I got a chance to have that hold, that position, and I'm also glad that I was able to retire as a first sergeant With your diamond. With your diamond, like, I didn't like I knew that when I took the diamond off it was because I was retiring. You know what I mean. So yeah, man.
Speaker 3:So obviously jumping out of first sergeant. What about fatherhood, like how?
Speaker 1:was that Like I mean? Like, especially like, like you said, your daughter was premature and obviously I got to see them earlier.
Speaker 3:She's beautiful, your family's beautiful, it's amazing. What's your take on fatherhood and like? How is that Especially a daughter? See, I have a son, and I mean, granted my son's sister.
Speaker 1:I look at her like my daughter as well.
Speaker 3:I kind of have a little bit, but I know it's different, like with your daughter like that girls are daddy's girls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I could see that. Right when she came in, she wanted to know what you were doing and oh, yeah, man, um, so, so I never met my father. I never, neither.
Speaker 3:Oh wow really we'll get to that later, okay so, so I never met my father.
Speaker 1:Um, I don't even have a picture of my father. Just, you know, my mom was very, she was very how would I put this? Eccentric, eccentric, and she told beautiful stories, bro. The thing is like you wouldn't know, like, how much of that is she being creative and how much of that is like real, like, you know what I mean. So I got to take her, you know, dude, like, the story that she told me was that my father was a firefighter. No, I take that back. His father was a firefighter, okay, and he was left in a motel room by his mother. In the bathroom, the firefighters respond and, according to my mom, the firefighter who was one of the firefighters on scene had the last name, ortiz, found the baby, adopted the baby and that's how I have the last name, ortiz. Bro, how much of that is true, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know man, but but, but in any case, man, um, for the longest time, man like, especially when I got to like 35. I'm like man.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm meeting people, I'm in these relationships, but there's just all these flags all over the place and I'm just kind of like man, I can't, you know, this is not the person to to definitely have children with. You know what I mean. So, in any case, I would always pray, though, and I would always say, you know that, you know, I would pray for the opportunity to be a father, and I would also, in my prayer, say, you know, lord, like, if you allow me this, I will, I will do it right, like I will. I want to be involved in every step of the way, and I did. That was just always my prayer, man, always my prayer. Um, I met my wife, I think I was what?
Speaker 1:37 when we met. No, yeah, yeah, no, we were 36. I was 36. I forget the numbers and everything, but what was really wild is they told us that the odds of us having a child were very low. So that was like you know. We did IVF. We did two rounds of IVF.
Speaker 3:That's like you said earlier with doctors Like they go based off some data. Yeah, they're not the final decision maker.
Speaker 1:Right, right, so you know. So they're like listen, there's nothing wrong with you guys, it's just that you know she's a little older, you know she's not little older, you know she's not, you know, producing eggs like a, like a 20 year old, obviously. So the odds are extremely low. And then, um, uh, she was, she was bummed about it and she was, you know, she was depressed about it. You know what I mean. And we were trying and it just, it just wasn't happening. And then, um, she wanted to do another round of ivf. I was like no, like I don't think that's that. You know that shit's expensive. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like yeah, like, and the emotional toll as well too.
Speaker 1:That part right.
Speaker 1:So I said, hey, like, I think what we could do is maybe like evaluate kind of like dude, we're, we're hanging out, dude, we're hanging out in the city, we're going on happy hours, we're going on concerts, we're, you know, jogging in central park, you know. So I'm just like hey, like maybe we just kind of like recenter ourselves a little bit. So she comes back, um, because at this time I'm off of active duty. So I'm off of active duty and we're living in Manhattan. So my wife comes home one day she's like hey, like I ran into my girlfriend, she told me about this like therapist who specializes in fertility, bro, I'm like great, no problem. Like let's see what you know. But just like anything else, I know that when you're going to do something like that, you have to commit to what they're. You know that's not like a one-off thing, you know. So, sure enough, dude, it was acupuncture and it was three times a week.
Speaker 3:I'll get to you with that, because I incorporated acupuncture in my cancer treatment.
Speaker 1:Really yeah that because I I incorporated acupuncture in my cancer treatment, really. But yeah, so, so, so, um, so, so she starts going and then, dude, like I gotta, I got. So I have so much like respect for my wife, dude, like you know she's, she's working downtown manhattan. This, this acupuncturist is in midtown. Now my wife is leaving her office on wall street taking the train or an uber or cab up to acupuncture, getting it like she, dude, she's doing it three days a week, dedication commitment, right. And then like they're like, oh, they had, like these herbal teas, this is a morning tea, this is a morning tea, this is a night tea.
Speaker 1:While this is all happening, I end up going on a trip of a lifetime to Vietnam. So I go to Vietnam, so and I've talked about this on the podcast a bunch of times but so I go to Vietnam and what we do in Vietnam is is that we ride dirt bikes from Saigon to Hanoi, so it's like two weeks, okay. So there's me, um, one of my buddies like um invited me and his two of his buddies. Uh, bro, an amazing and, um, an amazing time. Dude, like in terms of just, it's different when you go visit somewhere and you're in a car or you're you're on a bus and you're being toured around, dude. It's different when you're, like, on a motorcycle, because you're just seeing this you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:You just senses are like on 10, your senses, just everything, yeah incredible on this trip.
Speaker 1:Uh, we're eating just amazing foods, dude. Amazing foods, right, and it's different every day, because every night we're in a different place. Oh, that's dope. So you know, one day it could be a big city, the next day it could be a little village. That's dope, you know. And it's their version of, like an Airbnb kind of thing. Amazing bro, absolutely amazing kind of thing. And amazing bro, absolutely amazing. However, the over the very last day, the guy who put the trip together, the whole time that we're on this trip, every time we go somewhere, he asked do they have snake? And you know we couldn't find it right. The reason why we can't find it is because it's a delicacy there's only like, not everyone has it like that yeah, so we end up finding this place outside of hanoi, like 20 minutes outside of hanoi.
Speaker 1:That serves snake that's, that's what they do any specific type of snake brother, we get there, we take it, we take a cab from hanoi to this you know place. The very first thing when you walk in it's it's just a bunch of like wooden, like cages, yeah, and they got them spread out by like species and size and weight and all this jazz. You know what I mean. So so basically, like you're talking to the guy that, okay, like what species you know, and then different species would be more money. You know what I mean. So we want a king cobra. Should be more money. You know what I mean. So we want a king cobra, wow. So they go to get a king cobra and, um, they're like, oh, like, for you guys. I forget it might have been, it might have been like 12 kilos or something jeez, I don't know, bro, but it was dude.
Speaker 1:This guy comes out, the guy's talking to us. He has a snake handler, so the guy's talking to us in his broken English. While he's talking to us, he's talking to the other guy like in Vietnamese. This guy's handling, he pulls out this king cobra out of this. It's alive. It's alive, bro.
Speaker 1:So we're like oh. So we're like okay. So we say okay, now we go upstairs. Upstairs is where the dining room is. There's like a room off to the side where he's handling the the. Now they're showing us the king cobra. They grab it, they pinch it, he flares up, they, they pinch, you know, fangs come out, take the fangs right off. Fangs fall on. This is all happening in front of us. Then they do an incision and they take the heart out. The heart's pumping and they put it like in a shot glass with blood, with blood from the snake. So it's customary that you take a shot of the bio and the blood. What did?
Speaker 3:that taste like.
Speaker 1:I don't remember, bro, you just quit. Yeah, yeah, I was just like I can't believe I'm doing this, but you know exactly like I'll do anything for a story like that's a hell of.
Speaker 3:I mean, I don't even think you're done yet, but that's a hell of a story like so.
Speaker 1:So we take a shot of the bio, we take a shot of the other blood. The person who, uh like, puts it together is like customary. They, they, they eat the heart. So my buddy takes a shot of the heart's still pumping, dude, it's beating, still beating in the shot glass, like I'll show you.
Speaker 3:I'll show you a video okay, I want to see this takes a shot of the other.
Speaker 1:You know the blood with the heart. Now they have these huge jars with King Cobra in it and it's like it's rice liquor, but infused with the venom from the. You know. That's like a shot of the venom yeah bro Like, but it's infused, it's like a rice, it's a rice liquor, it's like similar to like well, sake and soju so it's not potent, so we could hurt you no, no, no, no so now what they're doing with the snake is they're making all these different platters, so they're, they're like.
Speaker 3:They're bringing out like they made two different soups, they're bringing it out steamed this is in the back, or is it like like korean barbecue, where it's like no, no, they're doing it and they're bringing it out.
Speaker 1:So they bring it out, steamed, sauteed, fried. It's a big snake, bro you know what I mean they take whatever bones it has. I don't even-.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the tiny little skeletal systems.
Speaker 1:And they make like a fried rice with it, so like they're frying the bones.
Speaker 3:It's wild rice with it, so like they're frying the bones is wild, so they bring all this out um king cobras have two penises yeah, that's wild, yeah, bros, it's, that's crazy dude.
Speaker 1:So I see it yeah, like that, like it's in a soup. Oh, wow, it's in the soup. So, so, like we're. So now, every time that you know we're like eating, every time they bring out a dish now, now we're taking shots of the rice liquor, and then they don't just serve you, you don't just order a beer. They bring you a case of beer and you get charged for what you drink. Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:That's dope. I like that concept Right.
Speaker 1:But think about it. It's a very good concept, because who says, nah, I'm good, you bring out a 24-pack? It's a very good concept because who says, nah, like I'm good, you bring out a 24 pack, it's probably going to be gone. We're going to drink a 24 pack.
Speaker 3:We're not leaving here until it's done. Exactly.
Speaker 1:So this whole thing happens and at the very end the guy's like because now we're like hammered, we're hammered, we ate all this food. We didn't take shots, we took shots of bio and blood and yeah, and all this stuff, and like we're hanging, like we're in vietnam, yeah, right. So the guy's telling me he's like hey, I think that he thought that we were gonna go off to like some like brothel or something. That that's what I thought he was like, because he kept saying like be careful, tonight you're very fertile, be careful, you're very fertile, right that's what he's telling us I don't, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, I'm hammered.
Speaker 1:I'm like, okay, I'm fertile. Yeah, got it. Bro. Got back from that trip, two of the me and the other guy that were trying to get pregnant, we got pregnant dude so it's like a aphrodisiac kind of fertility listen, bro, I don't. I don't know. Like I can't tell you for certain that that's exactly what it was.
Speaker 1:Maybe it was a combination of the the yeah her, her therapeutic thing, and no no clue man, yeah, but, but yeah, so, like um, but so now we get pregnant and like now this prayer that I have right is being answered right, and I just remember, like always having pressure from my family Like yo, like when you going to have a kid, like you know when are you going to.
Speaker 3:You're getting older. What's going on, you?
Speaker 1:know, or I've even had the. You know like friends of like, like close friends like they're, they're family members, you know, because you're so close to people that like like they're his aunts, yeah, and and them are like. You know, I've had dude. I've been at like like a spanish house party. You know what that's like. Right, it's like all the windows are open, they're frying food, the whole thing.
Speaker 1:You got the the drunk aunt she's in that she's in the kitchen, yeah, and she's pressing you like against. She's like yo, like, like you, like girls, like you know, because now because, I think you're gay, right, you got a baby.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, like you know, I'm like nah, like I'm not gonna have kids just because, just because you know, but, but the pressures of getting pregnant are one thing, the, the pressure of staying pregnant, is a whole nother thing. I tell people that all the time, like it wasn't, like, oh, like dude, like we were high risk. You know what I mean. So it's this whole thing like I can't tell you all the different like things my wife had to go through and like all these different like tests that she had to take to make sure, dude, it was. So. I always tell people like the, the staying pregnant for me was probably one of the bigger stressors than getting pregnant, you know, but, um, but to answer your question, man like, uh, as being a dad, right, it was, uh, was, uh, you know, um, it's the most fulfilling thing that I've ever experienced. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And I think like, uh, the older you get man, like, the more jaded you get and the you know like there's just certain things you'll you'll tolerate or you won't tolerate. And the older you get, you're just like, yeah, I'm not for that, I'm off right. With that being said, you think that you get to a point where you just have no more love to give right, or you're just kind of like, you know, it's not being cold-hearted, it's just kind of like you and then in the military too, like just seeing all these different things that the average person doesn't get a chance to see. You, you kind of like it does something to you, it does something to your soul. You know what I mean and you know, maybe not for everyone, but for me it was like this chamber that I didn't know I had was like unlocked and bro, like it's just the most fulfilling thing.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Like I can't, I can't speak about it enough. I just absolutely love, like my daughter's, like my best friend man, and then the cool thing man is like for me is teaching her stuff. Yeah, you know, like just anything man, like you know. And then the the cool thing is, uh, as she's getting older, her questions, man, they're just I'm like where are you getting this from?
Speaker 1:you know only this age and yeah, wait till we're done with this and you get a chance to talk with her for a little bit. She's dude. Like. We were having a conversation yesterday about being baptized. I don't know where she got this from, yeah, and I had to explain, like, what does it mean to be baptized, and why do old, why do people as adults get baptized, and what does it mean to be a born again, like yeah the dinner conversation yesterday was something else, dude, that's so cool it was wild man.
Speaker 3:No, it's cool, Like same thing. Like I say, appreciate it. I don't know how, I don't know the difference of you know what girls and boys, as far as like teenagers Cause obviously I, my son's 16, younger was the same thing the car rides to daycare, the car rides to the CDC or school, um, when we would fly somewhere, when it going back and forth, uh, just like you say, you just seeing them from, like you said, there's a small being to where now they're growing, they're developing their minds are growing, the questions that they have, the things that they're interested in, you see their personality start to really flourish in their character. Well, my son, as he's getting older, his interests are changing. Obviously he's into girls more now. He's going to his hormones.
Speaker 3:He's into his friends a lot more. I love it. But tapping into that part of you that we feel, because I think we get accustomed to the world, the world is a cruel, cold place. And.
Speaker 3:I think we often try to protect ourselves and we try to just like we we become numb or we just adjust and adapt to it, where we kind of know how to navigate to protect ourselves, to protect our mental health, our well-being, um, and then we try to, you know, obviously protect our kids in that aspect too. So it's just like loving somebody else that you never thought you could love that much, especially at a time when you're going through so much. So, yeah, no, it's, it's crazy. It's it's crazy and, like I said, it's beautiful to see. I love all my my friends that have daughters, because it's a whole different perspective. My son is a mama's boy, so when I most of my, all my friends, I think, that have daughters, their daughters are daddy's girls, like that's, I think that's just how it genetically happens. You know, that's how it plays out.
Speaker 1:So it's just beautiful to see it's funny, though if you put my daughter on the spot, she'll tell you that she's a mama's girl and then, like when nobody's around, she comes me. She's like that, like deep down inside I'm a daddy, but I can't say it in front of mom because you don't want to hurt her feelings.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you don't want to hurt her feelings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, it's it's funny, man, it's good. No, you know what I wanted to ask you? L was um. What made you join the air force?
Speaker 3:oh man, you want that on here, sure, why not? Oh man. So I joined the air force back in 2007. I'm not gonna sit here and say most people, you know oh, 9-11. I was a sophomore in high school in New York City, so I kind of know what that felt like and I think, like most any other high school athlete, I thought I was going to the NBA. I thought I was going to have like a growth spurt and get to like 6'6". Instead, I stopped at 6 feet but I ended up, you know, being awarded a state, um, but I ended up, you know, being awarded a state. I was in a group home. You know group home age you age out at 18. So you kind of the next thing they kind of position you for is to get a section 8 apartment and set you up for medicaid and public assistance. I grew up on food stamps, welfare, all other stuff. You know my mom didn't raise me, my grandmother did, um, and her health declined. So I was awarded the state too. Yeah the whole time.
Speaker 3:So I was in the group, I was in Children's Village, I was in the same uh facility that DMX was in up in Dobbs Ferry, new York.
Speaker 1:Really, yeah, I was up there I was um. Uh, it was called Independence Inn oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Independence Inn and it was on, um, it was in Brooklyn, it was on the north side, in Williamsburg. I want to say it was on North 9th Street, wow, and it was a walk-up. It was a walk-up building like five floors and they converted each floor to have two huge dorms Wow, and it was like four beds to a dorm. And first floor was like the administrative folks. There was like a kitchen. Yeah, dude, it was. That's crazy. The wild thing is, is that, um, so you it was for guys between the ages of 16 and 21 you could live there for a year. You had to be working and going to school. If you or you had to be, you had to be going to school and working, and if you weren't working, you had to be like, uh, you had to be seeking employment yeah, like actively seeking, actively certain interviews throughout the week and showing showing like job applications, that kind of thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so for me, I was already working. I had at that time, I want to say I had three jobs and I was in school. Yeah, so I'm, I'm always working, hustling, you know, like doing my thing and um, but one of the main reasons why I went there was because I didn't have to pay rent and I knew that I could save, that I could save money, yeah, you know. So I was a new york city lifeguard for the parks department from the age of 16 to 21, because 21 is when I joined the Air Force. Being a lifeguard for the New York City Parks Department is like one of the best kept secrets. If you could swim and you could get in and do it yeah.
Speaker 1:So in a summer I would, I was making, dude, like in a summer, I was making well over, well over twenty thousand dollars, though, well over. Though, in a matter of like two and a half months, you figure, from like july 4th to like labor day, yeah, you know, um, so in some instances you could start in the middle of like june, but in any case, I'm saving all this money right. Then, when your year comes up, they re-evaluate and then you can apply for an extension. So I I ended up living at independence in for close to like three years. Wow, when you turn 18 and you're awarded the state, you're in a shelter.
Speaker 1:Now you qualify for housing, yeah, so I ended up getting an apartment, dude, I was like 18, 19 years old. I was like 19 years old, yeah, you know, with my own apartment through housing. But the thing about it, man, it was just like. Eventually, when I left the shelter, I had roughly $35,000 saved. Nice, right. So for two years I didn't work Because, dude, I've been busting my ass for the past four years, yeah, so now Time for a break.
Speaker 1:I'm doing no work. Yeah, I got this money. I got you know. I want to say I had like a. I had a part-time job at Old Navy. But the reason, the reason why I go get the job at Old Navy is because it was it was the Old Navy on 18th and 6th Ave.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Is this still? I don't even know if it's still there?
Speaker 3:I don't think it's still there, so much stuff has changed throughout the city.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it was like the first store in New York City. It was like right there, so I go in, I buy a shirt.
Speaker 1:There's this redhead Dude, like I never seen anything like that right like just like porcelain, like, like, a little like a porcelain doll you know what I mean yeah and start talking to you know, like I'm making conversation and, uh, like she's from the uk or something like that, living out in queens, goes to like one of those I think she was going like baruch or something like that. So then I go back like the next day, buy another shirt, start, you know. So then listen to like how my mind works. So I leave and I'm like you could come back here every day and buy a shirt. I mean, it's not like you don't have the money. Yeah, you could do it.
Speaker 1:Exactly, but if you really want to like, if the smart move would be to get a job here. So, then I come back the next day. I apply for a job, so I get hired. So now I'm working at Old Navy part-time and the whole purpose was to like the red the red-headed chick from the UK, so I end up getting put like on a night shift because she went to a night shift. It all worked out. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then I left the job Like but, but, um, but for two years I don't. I don't work except for like this little part-time thing. But then the account I have no more money and I go out to California for my 21st birthday. I was born in California, oh okay. So I go out to Cali, I'm hanging out with my family, I go to my aunt's house. They had like a pool party for me and her husband at the time, because my aunt and her husband were both retired Air Force and now they were working for the post office. So now I'm like putting it all together like as like now, current day, I'm like damn, they were caking back. You know, like chilling. Yeah, they had a beautiful ranch house with the pool and they both had nice cars and you know they were hanging hands me a stack of, like uh, air force literature, like the pamphlets, pamphlets yeah, he's like, hey Mach, no Macho.
Speaker 1:He's like, hey, macho, you should really look into this. Yada, yada. And then, uh, when I come back from cali, like my, like my bank account, dude, I had 35 grand at one point now. Now I'm like like way, dude, I'm probably like close to like 6 000 or something like that. Like I've there's been a lot. Yeah, like the bank account has depleted. So that happens, the pamphlets and, just long story short, I end up running into a friend of mine from night school on a train platform. She's in the Air Force and that's how I start to kind of connect the dots and I'm like I don't know what else to do.
Speaker 3:Getting all these signs.
Speaker 1:Like you know. So that was my move, man, that was my move. And how did we get onto that?
Speaker 3:you asked me why, like why I had joined, and then we kind of had the similar thing. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. What year was that?
Speaker 1:I joined in 99, okay, I joined in 99, yep, and then, and then 9-11 happened, like you know. Um, the other, the other crazy thing is like for those that are listening who may not know this like within the Air Force, there's I'm going to just throw a number out there there's over 100 jobs, which is probably over 200, actually but they're broken down by what's called like an AFSC Air Force Specialty Code, which is the identifier for your job. Which is the identifier for your job, depending on how technical your job is, will depend will require you to stay in what's called technical training for longer than like an aircraft mechanic is going to stay in school learning that way longer than you know. So my job was like a six-week turnaround.
Speaker 3:Mine too, yeah, mine too, I was supply, so my job was like a six-week turnaround. Mine too, yeah, mine too.
Speaker 1:I was supply, so I was medical logistics. Okay, right. Yeah so you were a loggy. I was like so think about this. So I joined the Air Force in 99. So I go from Brooklyn to San Antonio, texas, to Shepherd Air Force Base in Wichita Falls. Wow.
Speaker 1:To Charleston, south Carolina, in less than six months. So within six months, I go from being, you know, living in Brooklyn, living in this apartment, to, all of a sudden, now I'm in the Air Force, yeah, and I'm in the South, I'm in'm in the south, I'm in charleston, south carolina. Culture shock, dude, absolute culture shock. You know, like one of the first things let me tell you this I show up to my my first day at my base. My supervisor says what are you doing here? You guys normally join the army.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah, bro. Wow yeah, yes, Wow, that was. And then dude like so you're a young guy, you're in the Air Force.
Speaker 3:Experiencing racism right off the bat, right off the bat, right off the bat, right off the bat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, trying to like navigate, like that whole thing. You know what I mean. What was your first base?
Speaker 3:So my first base was Luke, so, like Luke Air Force Base, which is in Phoenix, arizona, I loved it. The crazy thing is same thing, same, similar situation. So I think the place you were at probably was similar, because so I was in a homeless shelter before that. My grandmother couldn't raise me so I ended up being in um foster care. They put me in. I went to a place called life street. Life street is in tribeca.
Speaker 3:It's actually not too far from the federal building where the hp office is. Um, it was literally right there, a building that's right next to that entrance to the holland tunnel going to come into jersey. We stayed there. It was just like how you describe it they take your clothes, they give you these champion sweatpants, t-shirt and they wash your stuff and they were looking to place you into different programs. So I got placed and then the social worker came, picked me up and was like all right, we're driving. It felt like we were driving forever, but we literally drove to Dobbs Ferry, which is just above the Bronx in Westchester County. You're on this campus. It looks like it has a house. The place I was in was called the Gate House and I guess they basically kind of evaluate you and see how prepared you are for being in a regular community. Because you're on this campus, everything's on this campus gym everything.
Speaker 1:What year is this?
Speaker 3:probably was like 90, 96, 97, because I was only there for two years. The same thing, like you said. So you're in the gatehouse and then, once you can prove that you have what's called ils independent living skills they move you down to the city and when you're in the city you have to be in school. So it was two houses there was was one in Flushing, queens, there's one in Bayside. One in Flushing was more so for like high school freshmen through high school juniors. The one in Bayside was for like high school seniors and people in college. So you either had for the first one in Flushing, you had to be in, you had to be in school. Obviously you had to go to school. We had like a whole van. They would take us clothing shopping every three months. You had to get your own way to school. So you got your metro card and whatever else, your school metro card I was there for about two years until I got to my junior year.
Speaker 3:I moved to the house in bayside. I had a job but, like, like you too, I've been working since I was 13. Before I, right before I went into the group home, I was the security guards, the public safety, school safety and, uh, the school I went to in harlem. They were like you know why you don't have a job? You got to have money in your pocket. You know you can't be out here with no money. So he walked me over and they used to always send me to the store to go get coffee for them at the end of the school day and they would give me their change Like, oh, go get us two cups of coffee. I remember one of his names was literally walked me over with them to get their coffee and the guy's name was Ralph.
Speaker 3:It was a corner bodega in Harlem, spanish Harlem, 120th and first Avenue, I remember exactly right by Wagner projects. Um, he was like I know you need some help around here, you know what I'm saying. And he was like yeah, sure, I think I was getting paid like two bucks an hour, which was cool. I worked four hours sandwiches, sweeping up the curb, the sidewalk, sweeping and mopping the floor, restocking the fridge with the drinks, and I'd be able to make me a deli, a hero, before I, before I got off, um, but the jump forward, yeah. So I was in the group. Home from there, um graduated high school, took a year off. I was like, all right, I don't know what I was going to do. I wasn't going to the nba, um, I ended up working for nike, 57th and 5th in manhattan.
Speaker 3:And then I had a school reach out to me upstate New York, in Watertown New York, right near Fort Drum, and they were like, hey, we see that you're not in school, you know, you're playing ball. So I went up there to play ball for two years basketball. And then at that point I'm about 21 years old and same thing, my thing was talking to a recruiter, came in, did a school presentation and my uncle, my aunts, uh, who's my mother's sister? Uh, she was in Marines, her husband was in the Marines and I was kind of like she said, weighing my options, like yo, what am I going to do for us? It was like we aged out and then you would go into, uh, like I said, you would get into section eight, they would get you an apartment and they would kind of help you set up, cause they wanted to make sure you had a savings account, they wanted to make sure that you had everything you needed. Um, so my thing was like I grew up in the projects.
Speaker 3:I grew up very, you know, poor, um, having been homeless, having been in homeless shelters, sleeping in parks, uh, as at a young age I was like, nah, I don't, I don't want that. And I saw, like you said, the same thing. I saw the security, my aunt, my uncle. They had a house out in san francisco. That's where I learned how to drive. They were from brooklyn and I went to the marines. Originally I went to the marines and then my uncle was like nothing, nothing against marines, I got a plenty of marines friends. He was just like with the marines, I don't see you making it a career. It's gonna wear and tear you down mentally and physically. Um, he was like with the air force, you have more of a likelihood of making it a career, which obviously I have. So but he, he didn't stop me from it.
Speaker 3:We went and spoke to my marine recruiter and he didn't tell him that he was in the marines, so kind of you know how the recruiting game goes. So the recruiter definitely said some things that weren't true and after he was like see, that's why I don't want him. If he's going to tell you and be honest, we could have looked at it. But then we kind of weighed the options and the Air Force is one of the hardest branches to get into as far as the qualifications. It has one of the highest ASVABs out of all the branches. And, like you said, I mean it's crazy that you faced racism at your first base. But I think I may have got it indirectly. I don't have a specific story, but I definitely can remember some snide comments similar to that, because we commonly don't, and even if we are in the Air Force, we're predominantly in logistics or security forces. I think now it's hopefully changing. You know where it's getting more diverse throughout all the other AFSCs. But I saw that as a challenge. It was like the Air Force is the hardest one to get into. So now it's like all right, I'm going to study for the ASVAB. I want to do better. So ended up, I made my recruiter's job super easy. I was like look, I want to join the Air Force. I'm an athlete, didn't really? I didn't know my dad, so that part of the SF-86, I didn't get to fill out, it was just my mom. And then I was awarded a state also, so that made it a lot easier as well.
Speaker 3:As far as processing, I think I had to finish up one, the half of a semester, so I joined the Air Force in September 2006. That's when I depped in at Syracuse MAPS. Because I was still upstate After I joined. I had to wait until that semester was over. So I was basically in the DEP, which is the Delayed Entry Program. I'm waiting. You know how that goes. Where, hey, we got a job available. I booked the job. I booked non-destructive inspection because I was like, all right, that's something I could probably use on the outside, that's working on the airframe, the metal of the airframe. So I liked it Cool. And then, I think, once my semester ended Back shop, right yeah.
Speaker 3:Back shop job working, not exactly maintenance, but you're working on, like the frame, the metal framing on the aircraft. So you're not on the flight line kind of grinding, but you're just making sure that the paneling is all good. Um, so I remember march, you know, actually it was the end of april. Mid-april my recruiter reaches out. He says hey, I know you, I think my job was leaving, like in june, because they knew I was in school but the semester had ended or it was ending or it was about to end. He said, hey, I got a job. You know it was now, I know it was. Uh, now I know it was like a n-week can or something like that, or somebody canceled on their job or they got disqualified for whatever.
Speaker 1:So he's like hey I got this job.
Speaker 3:Uh, it leaves march 6th that was when I left for basic, wow. So I'm, you know, in my situation. I'm like, well, I didn't really have, I didn't really have any plans in between after I knew I was joining the air force and I knew that that's what it was. Yeah, that should be your keyboard warrior. Yeah, exactly, exactly exactly so.
Speaker 3:I didn't have any plans. I was like, and my biggest thing was I was I could have stayed. I had a couple offers for a four year to finishing up school but I was like, all right, I'm gonna keep chasing basketball. Yeah, it was cool. But at that time, like you said, I was broke man. I was like, all right, I didn't.
Speaker 3:And then when I was upstate in college, I did have a job. I worked at Best Buy. I worked at a clothing store, against all odds. Then, at the same time, I kind of went from one to the other.
Speaker 3:I was at Best Buy right before I joined the Air Force and you know you're making minimum wage. You know it's like all right For me. I didn't feel like it was a livable wage and I didn't want to go down a path where I was like what the Air Force had, with the educational benefits, I can go to school later, the medical benefits I was getting you know you're gonna get medical insurance and I get an opportunity to kind of see outside of new york. Granted, I love new york city, I love it. I joined to get out of new york city, um, but when I got my assignment list I put everything in the northeast mcguire, hanscom langley. I put everything to stay close to home and they sent me to arizona.
Speaker 3:Me being a naive new yorker that I was a Arizona cactus and tumbleweed Like all right, charles Barkley, the Phoenix Suns, and I'm like all right, but I get out there and I fall in love with it. At that time my son's mom, we got married when I was in tech school because we were really good friends, we were really close and then we got married. You know, you kind of get into the Air Force, you're like we can stay together and do long distance. So if we get married at that time, I'm 22 years old, we get married. You can come with me.
Speaker 1:All right, same thing here you know.
Speaker 3:So you don't want to really deal with the struggles or overcoming that stuff, so we ended up getting married. At this time I'm 21, 22 years old Should I have been married? Absolutely not.
Speaker 1:I wasn't ready to be anybody's husband. Exactly.
Speaker 3:But we planned my son. We get there and I'm like 22. I don't want to wait to have a child, I want to be able to still be active and be in my son's life and you know so we planned our son, we had my son. I get to. You know, be there. I'm at Luke for about five years. I think we made it about two years because, yeah, we got divorced when he was about two years old two, three years old and then we separated. It was rough. You know how that goes. It's rough in the beginning but over time we grew. She was like one of my best friends, man, like we co-parent. Really well, I was always there for her kids and then also my son. And then obviously you see what my situation her being there for me. But Luke Air Force Base was my first base and you got to come out there because I'm retiring in two years and that's where I want to have my retirement ceremony. And another thing is the squadron that I joined the air force in is a squadron that I'm a flight chief for now and that was my first ea assignment, which was crazy to talk about full circle dude yeah
Speaker 3:like. So the 313th recruiting squadron, headquartered in syracuse. They are the headquarters and for the new york city recruiting flight offices, but also in Watertown, Syracuse, Buffalo, Plattsburgh, all of that. So I joined in the Watertown office in Watertown, New York. And then my first EA recruiting job was in D flight in New York City covering Elmhurst, Queens, Grand Concourse in the Bronx, Westchester Square, Harlem, 125th Street and that Times Square recruiting office. So I was in the Elmhurst office. I stayed in New York. After that I EA recruited in 2015 to 2018. 2018, until literally February of this year, I was an HP recruiter. I did nurse corps, dental corps, medical corps yeah, those. And then now I'm the flight chief for the flight that I was an EA recruiter for.
Speaker 1:So you took Chewy's job because Chewy was the flight chief. Well, he was the.
Speaker 3:MLS. He was at Meps and then our flight chief got fired and then he they I'm glad because Chewy was just like we're in the we're in the business of people, man, I because for applicants that we deal with and then also recruiters, you got to care about your people, you got to take care about your people. And Chewy, that's who he was.
Speaker 3:He really was just a personable, down-to-earth dude and I mean there's a huge gap in that with my military career, because I was at Luke for five years deployed to Iraq Baghdad Camp Sather did 365 to Afghanistan Kabul Camp Eggers out there Doing logistics right.
Speaker 3:I was doing local acquisitions. So for that, for my first deployment to Iraq, I was TC in duty. That's when deployments were like four months by the time I got unpacked. I felt like we were packing to go back. It was quick. I was actually in Iraq when George Bush got the shoe thrown at him. We were there for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we was there for that, that was crazy. What? That was crazy what year was that that was 2008.
Speaker 3:Really, that was 2008,.
Speaker 1:dude, dude you know I was in Iraq in 03?, oh wow.
Speaker 3:I graduated high school in 03.
Speaker 1:03, dude. That's crazy 03. So, so um.
Speaker 3:That was like bare bit. Like you built the base, like you were there like at the very beginning.
Speaker 1:Bruh, listen, dude, like back on those days and I'm just like how man, how dude, yeah, you know so, so, uh, so I had. You know I was dealing with like the little. There was some racism type stuff going on and but thankfully there's always more good than bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, you know what I mean. Like, yeah, you know. Uh, there were people in the in the vicinity that were just like, no, that's, that's, that's not right. You don't treat people like that, that kind of thing. But ultimately, the guy who was in charge of like the, like the deployment manager cool dude, civilian dude um, he would go to this reggae bar that I would go to downtown Charleston.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:So I would see him. You know what I mean. Like you know, he's an older guy though. He's older, he's chilling, yeah, but you know I would run into him. So after 9-11, maybe like six months later, I'm walking in the hallway and he's like hey, come here. He's like you want to deploy.
Speaker 1:I'm like yeah he's like okay, I, I got, I I got something plugged. You plug me, right, so you know new york, you know I'm from new york, right, like, like I, I volunteered, I wanted to go, so we go, we go, I go to kirk cook. Oh, okay, I go to kirk cook. Bro, like when we land, like we're being shot at combat landing like we're being shot at wow like that's crazy. I remember this girl that gets off the plane with me. She's like what is that?
Speaker 2:I'm like bullets fire gunfire, like it's not popcorn exactly. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So they rush us all. They rush us onto the, uh, onto the bus. We get down like low and then they, they freaking, put the luggage on top of us. You know what I mean like they just pile up the luggage, so you got all these sea bags on top of you and they you know they scram off the uh, off the runway, off the flight line. I should say yeah and um, but dude, no, we were 10th city. We were 10th city, crazy um bunkers and all that?
Speaker 3:no, we had no bunkers. Oh that's how.
Speaker 1:That's how. That is how brand new, what was going on? Yeah, so, uh, check this out, right. So I was doing tcn, I was working at night. I chose to work at night. Why so? Good question, why, right, so what, what I thought. So I'm like okay, this is, this is my mind, dude, this isns so right. So there's 60 people. So I quickly realized that there's only like seven people on night shift. So where are the rest? They're on day shift. That's a lot of personality, bro. That's a lot of drama, that's a lot of different things, absolutely. So I'm like let me get on the night shift dude. Like, I think, my odds of having a better experience, you know, and in, in terms of like, who I'm gonna be dealing with on a regular day basis, or whatever.
Speaker 1:so that's how I, you know, yeah. And then the guy, the staff sergeant who was running the night shift, jonathan lee, staff sergeant this is my boy, like john jay. He's retired now, but, um, no nonsense, no nonsense, dude bro, like you know, black dude from texas. So I gravitate to him like, like, immediately, and I'm like yo, jay, like I didn't say yeah, we weren't on a first name basis, but it was like, sorry, like I would like to come on night shift, whatever. Long story short, I get put on night shift. So now I have to clearly sleep during the day, right? So what was happening was, bro, we were getting like bombarded with mortars, like around like noon, sheesh, right, I'm talking about like and you trying to sleep Every day, every day, right? So what they come to find out was that the insurgents that we were hiring to work on the base, by the way, Giving out intel.
Speaker 1:What these guys were doing is they were putting mortars into dry ice, setting them, and by the middle of the day, the dry ice would melt and then the mortar would lob itself. So, bro, like it's not aimed at anything, she's going off there, isn't it? Like I was telling? I was telling someone else on the podcast, like it could, it could land nowhere, or it could land in your lap, like you just don't know where you're going to get hit. And it's not the thing with mortars, man, it's not about so much.
Speaker 1:it's not exactly where it hits, it's the kill zone after the fact right, like you know how everything kind of like shoots up in a V formation the shock wave Dude. You could be, just everything kind of like shoots up in a V formation the shock wave dude. You could be just a few feet away and your, your, your lungs could collapse right.
Speaker 1:Like all that stuff. So what I would do is I would sleep with my flag vest on, my helmet on. I got my hands on another flag vest, inverted it and slid my legs through, so that way, like my growing and everything is like, and that's how I would sleep. I would sleep on my stomach. You know what I mean? Because I was just like. The vital organs are here, I got a better chance. If I'm laying on my stomach, dude, this is all crazy.
Speaker 3:These are deployment thoughts, though. These are things that we think about when we're out there, the best way we can be protected.
Speaker 1:And then you got to imagine, bro, like this is, like you know it's, a city, is what it is, and there's all kind of fuckery going on, yeah, all kind of wild shit going on, bro. So the base, we get there, dude, okay, the general, the Iraqi general who had this base, right, they took this man's house and made it into a cantina. They took the, the, the playground, his kids playground, and painted it red, white and blue, painted a big old American, bro, this Bro.
Speaker 3:I'm 23 years old right.
Speaker 1:So, we go to the cantina. You could get a Cuban cigar, you could get Cohibas, you could get all kinds of stuff at the cantina. The blood was still on the walls from when they cleared the house. Wow.
Speaker 3:Wild.
Speaker 1:Where this guy had a study, because his books and stuff are like there's Korans, bro, this is wild. They set up ping pong tables. There was like a rooftop sun deck, yeah, so we go up there and in the distance you just see tracer fire, right, so my sponsor, the guy who's like sponsoring me, he's like, oh, look, they're shooting at us. I'm like, huh. He's like, yeah, look lighting up the sky. Yeah, they're shooting at us. I'm like, huh. He's like, yeah, look, lighting up the sky, yeah, they're shooting at us. I'm like, then we should get get off of here, like we should get all you know. And I and I remember drinking a corona, looking out into the skyline and the refinery, the oil refineries surround the base and it like it glows, like like an orange glow over the night sky.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like movie shit, dude it's like it's like mad max for real you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So check this out. So at the time you were allowed to drink, you were allowed to drink, right, it's remember, it's so brand new. There's, there's no one, there's no rations, there's no one checking if you had two beers or three beers, yeah. So then they pass general order one, yeah. And those for those listening who are not familiar, it's just general order one is like if you had two beers or three beers, yeah. So then they pass General Order One, yeah. And for those listening who are not familiar, it's just General Order One is like no porn, no alcohol, none of that right. So they pass General Order One. After like two weeks of me being there, the general no, I'll take that back.
Speaker 1:The colonel Fulberg colonel, the wing commander, gives a speech at the cantina. He's basically like listen, effective midnight general order one. He's like whatever beer you don't drink is going to be blown up by EOD Bro. So it was basically like drink all the beer, yeah, drink all the beer, and whatever you don't drink, we're gonna blow it up. There was nothing to to blow up, but the creativity of people when they're deployed.
Speaker 1:You had dudes making like uh, the, the guys from, uh, like the medical maintenance guys yeah these guys took all these like hoses and everything they made like these, uh, these, uh like the funnels these beer bongs, yeah, the length of the building. So they had, they had you from the roof, from the roof down, dude wow, this is crazy.
Speaker 1:Wow, bro, that is crazy wow and that was your first deployment, that was my first appointment. Get this, though. Get this the fulbright colonel, last name's callahan. Never forget it right. I swear to you, bro, I'm not making this up. This dude spoke like john wayne, is how he sounded. Looked like john wayne, yes L, he walked around.
Speaker 3:The holsters, the double holsters.
Speaker 1:But on his hips, Not up top on his hips.
Speaker 3:Like in the Wild West. Like in the Wild West. Yo, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:Gets better. Fast forward a few years. That was 03. Let's say like 2010. So like seven years later. Seven years later now I let's say like 2010. So like seven years later. Seven years later now I'm a recruiter. I'm an ea recruiter in east brunswick. I'm working with with a young man getting him into the air force. Last name's callahan. We get to talking that full bird Colonel is his uncle or grandpa. I want to say it was like his uncle. I want to say it was like his mother's brother. Wow, so what I did was I went and got my album like and I cause I don't have a phone Like yeah, exactly, it was old three yeah.
Speaker 1:I have an album from that deployment, wow, and I'm like like, look, that's your, that's your uncle, bro. Small world, dude, small world bro it's crazy.
Speaker 3:It's crazy, dude. It is as that's. That's a hell of a like you said.
Speaker 1:You got the stories, bro, bro, you got the stories that's why I love this whole thing with the podcast and the platform, because you know it's cool for me, cause I get to like relive it and say these stories over. But um, but before I forget, dude, like you said some stuff earlier on and I don't want to just like gloss over it, but like you had mentioned, like your kidney being removed- oh yeah. Like bro, before we leave here. Like I just want to like what was what was that?
Speaker 3:that was so that happened. That happened in march of 2021. So that's what I say with this treatment with rmc, in most cases people were getting their kidney removed too early, so for me, I did like about a year of chemotherapy before my kidney was taken out, and I'm glad dr mcgregor had that foresight to see that. So march 2021 this is still covid. This is now. We're quarantined, so literally the crazy thing is my kidney is removed and I'm out of the hospital in like 48 hours, because I think it was something similar to like how you said when your daughter was in the hospital. They have to be able to eat on their own and they have to. You know, latch on. For me it was. You had to walk a lap and you had to use the, use the restroom on your own.
Speaker 3:You had to show them that you could do that and then, because of covid, it was like all right, we got to get you home. This is how you treat it. Make sure you treat the wound. So I have a what's called a radical nephrectomy. Um, it took on my right kidney.
Speaker 3:Um, obviously we already spoke about the cancer was everywhere. It was speckles. It was I'm not going to say it was like big, but it was speckles of tumors on my lungs, on my liver, on my kidney and on my stomach and I think that was. And then, like I said, in the lymph nodes literally went there. I actually bumped into that doctor two weeks ago, the surgeon, dr Stephen Chang. He was my surgeon who took out my nephrectomy. I have my mask on because in the cancer center we still have to wear masks, which is cool, I don't mind it. But we were in the elevator together and I was just like, hey, dr Stephen Chang, and you know he remembered me. He was just like, yeah, he's like, I hear you're doing really well, but yeah, I have one kidney, do you?
Speaker 1:feel different.
Speaker 3:No, it's crazy because even looking at the video and the pictures of my PET scan, it's like they show me like, oh yeah, see, on this side is your kidney and this side is where your other kidney was, and you just see like a gray area of where it would have been. My kidney function is good. Being African-American, I think our kidney functions are already slightly elevated just because our muscle mass and our body types, uh. So my kidney function, I think normal is like between 1.20 to 1.35. Mine is always like 1.43, 1.50. Um, and I always I was worried and they were like no, because you know my, my, my, my ethnicity and my body type.
Speaker 3:they're like that, like that's normal um, and I have the other kidney is working just as good as two. Some people are born with one kidney, um, so I'm I'm happy for that. Like I said, it's working out um, and since then I've always had a very chemo sensitive or treatment sensitive cancer. I've had a really good response to all my treatments. Now, the treatment itself sucks. That shit sucks um Um, anybody who knows who's gone through chemotherapy, radiation so yeah, I've had the surgery, I've had like over a hundred cycles of chemo and I've went through like 30 rounds of radiation. Yeah, it's been a lot.
Speaker 3:Anybody who knows who's been through it. You go through a lot, um, it's, it's, it's hard, uh, radiation. You don't really feel anything when you're doing it. It's kind of like you're going into a CAT scan or a CT scan. It's the after effect. So right now I'm dealing with, like the scar tissue buildup, because it shreds up everything. And the same thing with chemotherapy. So for those who don't know about chemotherapy, it doesn't get to decide what cells it destroys or what cells it kills. It kills everything. That's why it depletes, like your white blood cell count, your red blood cells. Um, because that's how it's treating it. It's getting rid of all. Because it doesn't, you can't tell, they can't decipher good and bad cells.
Speaker 3:Same thing with radiation. Radiation is a bit more targeted. They kind of know the area. The doctors are really really in depth, um, and they know all right, these are where the cancer cells are. It's not going to interfere with this organ or that organ. We're going to target radiation, radiate that. And it wasn't long Radiation was. I think each session was like five minutes.
Speaker 3:So, it kind of goes in you're laying there and it has this machine that goes around.
Speaker 3:You don't feel anything, you don't see anything Afterwards. I would just be really, really tired. It would make you, you know, really really fatigued, Um, a little a bit nauseous. And that's the same thing with chemo. Chemo just makes me feel really, really tired, really really nauseous. Um, either, I have a huge appetite, but majority of the times it was like a lack of an appetite. I wouldn't be hungry at all. Um, a cool thing, a cool thing. But I guess for me, going through treatment haven't you know most people you think they go through chemo you throw up. I haven't thrown up, um, I haven't vomited god bless you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's, that's wow, man it's it's tough, man it's tough dude man, listen man bro.
Speaker 1:Thank you man like.
Speaker 3:Thank you this this is dude.
Speaker 1:this has been great dude Like for real, for real man.
Speaker 3:I appreciate it, you giving me the platform to kind of hopefully it comes out, because I know we was all over the place. I was all over the place, but no, thank you for the platform, for allowing me to come here and, just like I said, just to chop it up, what we do on the phone, what we did when we spoke last week, right, right, like. I can't thank you enough for sharing this amazing space. Spark and Stride Like man. This is dope yeah thank you, bro, I'm glad to have had a part in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, yeah, and the feeling's mutual, bro. I'm just glad, like again, this was just all something I thought of, and and, and I just want this to be an inspiration to anyone who who has an idea, who wants to execute on their idea just continue to follow through, you know, be persistent. You know. Let me say, like the way I wanted to go about the podcast and and the platform is, my goal was to put out a podcast once a week, but I'm just going to share a little bit of background. It takes a lot of work to edit these videos and there's just so much that goes into it the social media and that kind of thing. So I went to what I feel is more more like seasons where, like it's a you know season one or two, you know a few episodes here and there, because, to be quite honest, there was no way I was going to be able to sustain 52 weeks. You know, I like, like I don't have a staff, I don't, I'm, I am sparking stride Like my wife, this whole studio.
Speaker 3:Like those that don't see like you are everything engineer, editor, host everything, bro, like that's what I'm saying. It's so amazing to see it come out, cause you see so many other podcasts or so many other productions that are put together. It's a team of people. You are the team, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so my, my goal is to, like you know, there's, there's um, there's folks in my family that that, that that want to be a part and they want to help out, and you know, so, any opportunity I could give anyone to kind of like bring them along and show them, cause this was all YouTube university, man, Like I taught myself, you know watching videos. I cringe at my earlier stuff, but it's all part of it. It's all part of the growing pains.
Speaker 1:But, l-man dude, again, it was great to see you. Thank you for just being here and being so open, candid, and I know that when I listen back I'm going to say to myself damn, I should have asked him this or that. But I know that you're gonna be back exactly that's what I was waiting for.
Speaker 3:I was waiting for the open to be like all right, there's gonna be a part two yeah, yeah, absolutely, my brother, absolutely anything you want to leave off with nah. Thank you. Um. Anybody that's going through a difficult time, just don't quit. Don't give up. Um, better days are on the horizon. It'll be there, but be that support system that you need, but also don't shy away from allowing that support system to to be there for you. Um, don't allow your pride to to do that.
Speaker 3:But, bro, thank you yeah thank you, thank you, thank you for this platform. Um, I can't thank you enough, man.
Speaker 1:Thank you all right, so hold on, brother. Thank you, you got it. Stay sparking. That's it, brother.
Speaker 3:Thank you. I love you, bro. You got it. Stay sparky. That's it, brother. Man, we did it. Bro. Yeah, that's crazy. What's up, bro? Check out that throw man. I don't see it. Heavy duty, heavy duty. It's much, it's much, it's.